I Want You to WANT to do the Dishes - The Break-Up | RomComs

Brooke (Jennifer Aniston) and Gary (Vince Vaughn) have a huge fight when she tells him he doesn't put enough effort into their relationship.
What is The Break-Up (2006) about?
After two years together, Gary (Vince Vaughn) and Brooke's (Jennifer Aniston) relationship seems to have taken a comical wrong turn on the way to happily ever after. Now the break-up is on, the lines have been drawn, and their honest feelings for each other are coming out. Get ready for an all-out war of the exes in this fun date movie that's hilarious and heartfelt.
Watch the full movie here: www.uphe.com/movies/the-break-up
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[@jacq_sparrow]

They're arguing and she's still cleaning up and he's not still not helping. 😭

[@AlehneK]

That’s all I could see this whole time! He doesn’t even begin to participate in cleaning up after she’s asked him and he said he’d do it. The commitment to do it is already as soon as she stops reminding him.

[@catholicdad]

Note that she's not doing the dishes, her stated goal. Odd.

[@Kaboomboo]

Ironically it would've taken less time to help clean than the entire argument. He spent more time arguing about not cleaning than he did just doing it.

[@catholicdad]

@@Kaboomboo Correction: SHE was the one arguing. He was: 1. Honest & communicative. 2. Indisposed for health reasons. 3. Agreeable. She picked the fight. Next.

[@amberocallahan5481]

Because shes collecting the dishes from around the house. So they can get done.@@catholicdad

[@catherinethorstenberg8957]

It’s a really hard concept to explain to someone if they don’t naturally want to do nice things for their partner

[@swiftkarma4436]

Indeed

[@Sanya0321]

Yes

[@vannarooski8730]

This

[@erikagray9883]

Absolutely. Nail on the head. Some people are simply incapable of grasping this concept. They don't have to be abusive or mean...in fact, they can be sweet and kind...but if they have a tendency to be lazy or self-centered at times, this will probably happen. We don't want our partners to WANT to wash the dishes. We want them to want to lighten our burden....we want them to think "What can I do today to ensure that our household burdens are as equal as possible?"

[@cameliap1146]

As my grandmother said... " if you have to explain basic things you are better to walk away" . I never forgot that !

[@vera8656]

What she's basically saying is "if you loved and respected me, offering me help would be a no-brainer. You would think of me and my needs in a way that would make you WANT to do things that help me out, like do the dishes."

[@Doopdedoopskiboop]

👏

[@thegiantpaperpanda]

ACCURRATE!!!!!!!!!!!

[@brandonflores551]

So y didn’t she just say that

[@malehlohonolo8463]

🎯

[@malehlohonolo8463]

@@brandonflores551 she literally said "I busted my asz all day cleaning this house and cooking that meal and I worked today. It would be nice if you said thank you and helped me with the dishes" 🤷🏽‍♀️ and that was verbatim lol

[@TheMiller037]

It's pretty simple: if you love someone that badly, doing something simple as helping out with the dishes goes a long way.

[@heybro6105]

Does your wife let you watch when her BF comes over, or do you just make him breakfast in the morning?

[@bettybeteta2028]

Ya and after that, "Honey you missed a spot." (You don't love me enough?) Any excuse to complain and vent. Been there done that. Wait till the kids come into the picture. That's a blast when they make you feel stupid that you ain't putting the diapers on correctly and warming up the milk bottle at the right temperature. And some men I have heard, need to work 2 jobs if the wife aint working. How is that for fun.

[@mmprvd1330]

And some women work more than men do. I used to work 12 hours and travel 4 hours since my ex Dont get paíd extra hours and I did. Still he didnt help. We end Up divorcing when kids came on the picture and was like having 3 kids instead of 2. Oh he remarried and the new one complain of the same things and he almost GOT divorced

[@PilkoPants]

@@heybro6105 Spoken like someone who doesn't have a partner

[@PilkoPants]

Pro Tip Gentlemen: You don't help out with the dishes... YOU do the dishes, you tell her to go put her feet up, take a bath, have a glass of wine. It's the little things like this that will help you maintain a healthy relationship.

[@AJ-kc1nm]

He doesn’t see the big picture, it’s not about the lemons or the flowers or the dishes, it’s the accumulation of everything!

[@BlackDiamond2718]

Because he has a small tv

[@erickbuckner4485]

@@BlackDiamond2718Gary just cares about himself

[@ChristianOne]

Right. She doesn't feel he appreciates her and all she does, as she has been rowing the relationship boat mostly by herself. She reached the point of DEMANDING he pick up his oars OR ELSE. Sad that he didn't even know what they were arguing about. He looked so baffled. Often men don't realize until it's too late. This movie was REALLY GOOD.

[@erickbuckner4485]

@@ChristianOne Brooke doesn’t appreciate Gary. Just because he works hard doesn’t mean he has to be lazy

[@xxo8888]

​@@erickbuckner4485 he wasn't the only one working, so was she. The dif is she's putting more work into the relationship than him. She does things she dislikes for him, like going to a game, but he can't even fathom doing the same for her w the ballet. _He_ doesn't appreciate _her_ ..the saddest thing is underneath the argument, she's basically begging him for affection, to see & love her

[@Mel__21]

“Are you saying that you’re upset because I don’t have a strong desire to do the dishes?” “No I’m upset because you don’t have a strong desire to OFFER to wash the dishes.” “I just did” “AFTER I asked you” “You’re acting crazy” the definition of gaslighting at its finest

[@Mistyfaery]

​@@JayTheDodo the line was gas lighting. Not the entire argument. Also, one can subconsciously gaslight someone else just like someone can project (most people do!) onto others subconsciously.

[@sjgeorge3831]

Exactly and he asked her for appreciation after she just explained she doesn't feel appreciated and that apparently went over his head ugh lol

[@DivineLogos]

Gaslighting is intentional manipulation. Its not gaslighting if he truly thinks she is being crazy.

[@Maya_hee]

​@@DivineLogosNot necessarily. Narcissists at times don't know that they are being manipulative or gas lighting someone but it doesn't change what they are doing.

[@DivineLogos]

@@Maya_hee Not true, they know. And its not manipulation if its without manipulative intent. And we don't know his intent so it might not be gaslighting. He might truly believe she is being crazy.

[@MrSeanMDolan]

Dude I’m 31 now and this is so much more realistic and relatable than I ever thought.

[@jazminfuentez101]

🧰No Just What Evs Mager Loser🧯

[@rodriga1985]

​@@jazminfuentez101.....what?

[@cloudslady3400]

Dude I'm 19 sad that I find it relatable too !..lost my ex-fiance for the same reason behind their break up...funny but dramatic to see our relationship issues played in a movie by older people I was so young to realize how common our problems were..!

[@vaevictis1697]

​@@cloudslady3400thats why you dont get married at 19

[@jeffc7470]

Ya. I'm 36. I remember thus movie came out when I was around 19. Resonates now.

[@heatherfults7506]

the classic “you’re acting crazy”

[@jescollo]

Well were you?? 🤷‍♂️

[@awesomeface859]

Gaslighting at its finest

[@nachc6459]

Then stop acting crazy and make sense

[@afroxfairyxxx8382]

@@nachc6459 this argument made perfect sense

[@suzanneblaylock9598]

Yep, when actually....

[@yolandaponkers1581]

Her last words to him in this scene were sheer perfection. You really do deserve better than a partner who calls you crazy and gaslights you for simply asking for the same respect you give them.

[@corneliahanimann2173]

This guy doesn't get it and I don't think it's entirely his fault. I think thisnis a societal issue where men are too busy trying to deal with what they consider "emotional and irrational women" that they are more likely going to try just about anything to make the woman stop yelling except for listening to what she has to say. She has expressed in 5 different ways that she wants him to show affection by participating in these daily tasks because she needs to feel supported by a partner. This guy is going to be confused about having to have a need to do dishes or tryingnto satisfy his wife's "crazy" wishes that don't seem to amount to much of anything in his mind, like to him the amount of Lemons he could bring home, he will be confused thinking about how maybe the number of lemons will make the wife happier or something. What is genuenly missing from her end though is that she actually just straight up tells him what she needs, she needs to feel supported by a husband, she feels lonely, she can not feel him making an effort. Maybe he does, when he goes to work and makes money, he does it all for her, but he never tells her that he spends 8h a day doing crippling work because he wants her to be happy. This is clearly a communication issue, and we women so often refuse to spell out the stuff that we think should be obvious to a man. At some point we should maybe accept that they can't read our minds and get vulnerable and say what is actually hurting us.

[@ViaMirage]

​@@corneliahanimann2173It would be nice if that was the case, but unfortunately I don't think that's it most of the time. Because you can be very straightforward with a man and let him know what is important to you, and if that man doesn't see those same things as important or valuable to them personally, they'll never really take it seriously. They'll maybe do some of the things requested begrudgingly like Gary in this scene, but it would only truly take a mature and caring person to realize that the things he may find "silly" or "unimportant" matter because they matter to the other person. Basically it seems to me that it comes down to how much the man truly cares and values the woman deep down as a person to go beyond the initial reaction of "I don't value doing the dishes or cleaning up therefore it's something I'll never want to do and therefore I will always be passive aggressive about it". And that takes some selflessness.

[@corneliahanimann2173]

@@ViaMirage I agree with this from the bottom of my heart, and I really feel like this is what everyone should feel to be true. My point was mostly on the end of women that still hope a guy will eventually read their mind and understand what they want without them ever spelling it out. Despite what you said being true, I think there is a good amount of women out there that will refuse to spell it out because they assume their soulmate will just "get it". I just want it to be said that the way we also make these soulmates is by communicating and educating them on what we are like at times.

[@ViaMirage]

@@corneliahanimann2173 I definitely agree with what you're saying as well. And I think as women grow older they tend to get that as well and become a lot more straightforward with men. I just don't think that most of the time that's the actual underlying reason that men react the way Gary did in this movie. I think that even if Brooke was very transparent and straightforward with Gary, he would still not have been mature enough to change or take her requests seriously. The very presence of these issues in their relationship comes from his immaturity and lack of consideration for people around him (even his closest friend tells him that in the movie). That's why at the end of the movie we see him actually grow and make some changes within himself after losing Brooke. But I certainly agree that there are some instances where it might all be coming down to veiled or indirect communication on the woman's part. If miscommunication is the only reason for issues in a relationship, those issues are quite simple to resolve and I would consider that to just be a simple matter of misunderstanding in such a relationship.

[@danielnoriega6655]

Haha, good luck finding the unicorn

[@auralit3624]

It's a nice touch how she's tidying the dishes throughout the scene while he just stands there.

[@florencia1386]

I think many people don’t like this film because it doesn’t have a “happy” ending but I love it because it’s so realistic and relatable.

[@olesyabondar4826]

And it does have a happy ending. Happy ending for Brooke.

[@atikahrockslikecrazy]

Im glad they broke up. She deserved better

[@filmgirlLisa]

​@@atikahrockslikecrazyAnd he grew up.

[@babyzorilla]

Yeah it’s on point. And I think they both won. And lost.

[@youtuber3328]

it's nice to meet you and to be COMPLETELY honest romantically i did do and/or will SOMEWHAT like jennifer aniston because in my COMPLETELY honest and/or accurate OPINION she's LITERALLY always had and still has an EQUALLY REALLY attractive face

[@shirin9452]

The thing is. No one wants to do the dishes at all. But if someone cooked a whole meal and cleaned the whole house, I couldn’t offer to do their dishes + my own fast enough. It’s just dishes, they’re literally the easiest chore, that person cleaned and cooked!! And when it comes to doing my own dishes, I’m an adult, I can’t imagine leaving them for someone else to clean up. What am I 4 years old 😭

[@ED80s]

My brother in law cooks all the meals and my sister in law does all the dishes. That's how it should be. Teamwork

[@Kat.Evangeline]

My man cooks every day. I clean - a bit - 😊

[@deborahminter6231]

Absolutely! A relationship takes sacrifice. I honestly think these to have communication issues. It's also a good idea to use reusable plates for a party. Lol!

[@Tchild2]

You summed it up perfectly.

[@cesarreyes809]

Dishes are easy I wonder why people hate doing the dishes

[@JalisaHapp2000]

When she said I’m done and turned around to stand up for herself, I get emotional. You get sick and tired of being sick and tired

[@calvinjay3324]

She was acting crazy

[@JalisaHapp2000]

@@calvinjay3324 mmm emotional not crazy (in my opinion)

[@blackdogbrown]

​@Jalisa M It's incredibly draining. I'm dealing with it now, actually. And I am *TIREDDDD*

[@samb5208]

There comes a point where you just cut off. You switch off after waiting for the "change" that never comes. You realise he will never get it and you have no option but to leave and thats when you take the power back. And suddenly you feel so much better without him. You get ur life bk.

[@samb5208]

@@calvinjay3324 she truly felt unappreciated, devalued and discredited. Its so good that she walked out because the sad reality is so many women stay and the "love" has long disappeared into thin air. Then their mental health is affected, and its a basic downward spiral.

[@myathawthaw4318]

It's nice that she realises she deserved better. Lots of people don't and get stuck in toxic,one sided relationships and could not get out till the end.

[@Suzyfromtheblock]

Yes, when respect is no longer being served, leave the table I did 🙏❣️

[@user-he4st2ro5h]

You forgot to say that the only toxic person was she

[@Suzyfromtheblock]

@@user-he4st2ro5h you obviously are not looking at the film ,look at it again and make a constructive comment

[@tucker8071]

@@Suzyfromtheblock he did make a constructive comment. He said she was toxic. Can you handle that?

[@Suzyfromtheblock]

@@tucker8071 no tucker, take your time, look at the film again, and you make a constructive comment,

[@dimis2140]

A person who lies down on the couch with his shoes on deserves to be single!!

[@an2584]

Yes. If I ever see my fiancé do that ever - JFC. Nasty asf

[@MadisonBuratt]

This is the comment 😂

[@johnyzero2000]

Amen that's why I'm single and childless.

[@ruturajshiralkar5566]

I always saw it as an American thing.

[@nickconopa562]

I mean…if he bought the couch….it’s fair game

[@Oddbisket]

Just watched this movie again. He brings home 3 lemons and talks his way into making it her problem, she asks him to set the table and have a shower to be ready and he talks longer to get out of it than it takes to set the table, the family arrives and he doesn't help by answering the door or welcoming guests he says he needs a shower, during dinner he looks down on her family and brags about his dreams in the tour industry, her family offers to help clean and he says they will do it to rush them out the door and immediately play his game. Then all of a sudden his dreams that he is working for are for her and she owes him.

[@chiomaazubuike7732]

Well said. The man is a typical idiot

[@deborahminter6231]

Sounds like the problem is that he has no interest in her family or accommodating them.

[@KBClive]

He has no interest in anyone or anything else but himself and his wants and needs. Spot on.

[@sleepysteev2735]

It's not about the *thing* being done, it's about showing your partner that they mean enough to you for you to do things that you wouldn't do otherwise. This is good advice not just for romantic relationships, but any relationship.

[@moderngentlemanschool]

Except every relationship I have been in as man, it's always me doing things I don't want to do, and never the reverse. She just says no. Every. Fucking. Time.

[@patrickswasey5301]

@@moderngentlemanschool So that means you're the Brooke of your relationship.

[@wolf2966]

@@moderngentlemanschoolthen don’t do so much cut back

[@doloresmedina0617]

I heard a male therapist say that "men are only taught to provide (financially) so they grow up thinking thats what makes them a man. Which is why that is why they seem to lack in other areas"

[@srivastavashivam949]

Not only that, women are taught to expect to be provided by their man. Meaning even if the woman is earning enough, she won't be okay with her husband not doing anything which brings money in.

[@princesses278]

Women have jobs too

[@flayremoon]

Had a female therapist tell me (in my early 20s) that my depression would abate when I got myself a man and had a baby. Because the underlying issues don't matter, I just needed to have a male presence in my life and pop out a kid and life would be perfect!

[@wolf2966]

@@flayremoonbad therapist and I’m a man

[@STMARTIN009]

​@@flayremoonyeah that therapist should be stripped of her professional license. That's a load of hogwash

[@delpicsla65]

This is scary relatable

[@raymeester7883]

Yep. Scaringly.

[@delpicsla65]

@@raymeester7883 is scaringly a word though?

[@paolavega2400]

It is.

[@kittygrimm7301]

You gotta love how he makes it all about material things (i.e. the dishes, the lemons, the flowers, etc.) when that's clearly not what she's talking about. He's constantly derailing the conversation.

[@mistersinister2043]

You gotta love how she makes it vague about random nonsense instead of just coming out and saying what the problem is.

[@Dancediva240]

All you have to do is HELP each other even if the thing you are helping with is something you don't enjoy. So hard to understand, is it??😂

[@Kat.Evangeline]

No bleeping Ballet !

[@Pandagachesko]

“Why would I want to do the dishes” well no one does! But why should she do it? If she didn’t do it, you will never get to it. Most irritating thing ever seriously

[@dustinhenderson6434]

You realize all that was said after he offered to help and she said "you should want to want to do them". Thats when he said she was being crazy, because its true, nobody wants to do dishes.

[@anarmustafayev1555]

And its also true that you don't have to do the dishes right away, she wanted to start and argument to vent her frustration it was never about the dishes, in fact id you ever in this situation know that the decision to end things has been made long time ago.

[@zaibjameel6609]

Would it be better if they just got a dishwasher

[@hishamzaman3814]

​@@anarmustafayev1555 she should have said what it was about then

[@plocky4275]

@@dustinhenderson6434 But notice how he only offered to help _after_ she told him about the dishes. That's the thing, she shouldn't need to tell him to do it for him to get involved in the first place! Part of being a functioning adult is to recognise that doing the dishes, laundry, cleaning, or any of the tedious everyday household task need to be done without anyone telling you. Nobody likes those, but someone got to do it if you want to have a home with livable conditions, and that responsability usually falls on women because men simply don't do them. This guy wouldn't move a finger if she didn't tell him first; the one keeping track of everything is her. He's just an automaton with zero initiave to do all these things on his own. The mental load os heavily one-sided. She's not asking him to love cleaning, merely pointing out that she always does it and that he should pull his weight.

[@nostalgicgirrl6053]

The guys character is quite immature and emotionally stunted.. He seems so frustrating just to get through to. He’s a very difficult person to even argue with because he keeps strawmanning and distracting away from the Main point and never admits that he’s at fault.

[@chrismccaffrey8256]

Yes. However. She has to learn how to communicate better with her man.

[@kimmywebster]

Narcissistic tendencies

[@therealjcon]

She's unreasonable on a lot of things too.

[@saphire_flame]

@@therealjcon No. she’s really not. It’s not unreasonable to want someone to offer to help you when you’re struggling or tired, or after you’ve done something for them

[@bobos245]

So you were able to see thru the situation and understand his problems. I wish more people were able to do so. I've learned the only way to get thru to someone like that is to establish a reward, a little bit like training a dog... As condescending and patronizing as that sounds, but it works and the both of you are happy. That's where she went wrong, is she didn't compromise either, she did everything for him, and demanded the same level of energy from him.

[@bigrivtodagled8210]

I love how his friend puts it very nicely at the end and he finally understand how selfish he is.

[@luciboras]

It is about showing your woman appreciation that she exist in your world and willing to be with you.

[@josephinakeam6197]

"Willing to be with you", as if every woman is slumming it by "being willing" to be with a man.

[@dannytallmage2971]

Ok but then when he does realize he loves her she’s so hung up on the fact that she couldn’t make him jealous that burns down the reconciliation.

[@ED80s]

This was my marriage. Every party we hosted (every single one) I did everything. Planned it, went shopping, cooked, cleaned house top to bottom (all with small kids). My husband was too tired from work to help and when I would complain he would either say stop having parties (these were kids birthdays, Christmas, easter ... special occasions) or get HIS mom to help me. It's beyond frustrating, it slowly breaks u.

[@johnyzero2000]

What you don't know about men is a lot, get yourself a gay male friend to control and manipulate.

[@cortezconquistador]

Then babe guess what stop having parties. He obviously doesn't care about it like you do and you can't expect him to plan these events so guess what stop stressing yourself out and don't do them. If I had a husband that didn't help me with any party event I would completely stop doing it and just treat myself time to be selfish do you and strap him with the kids.

[@ED80s]

Oh I haven't hosted parties for 15+ years.

[@NA1c158]

You did all that because you were a stay at home wife that is ungrateful and only think about him serving you in his every waking moment. No appreciation for his work and sweat outside the house. No. He must always work every second you see him at home. He should find a better wife.

[@ED80s]

@@NA1c158 try again. I've worked and still work through my entire marriage, full time 8-4 as a legal assistant.

[@amandawingz658]

It's about being thoughtful toward someone you love. She was thoughtful about cooking, cleaning, catering to his friends, doing things he likes, etc. It's gotta be equal

[@findlay1arches]

I'm glad this film is getting more love these days. It's a great movie that has only gotten better with each year

[@jodylancaster8706]

I love this movie. Seen it many times.❤

[@rafaelorona1395]

I love this scene is so realistic. This is how it goes down. When your partner doesn’t show appreciation, even in the ways we don’t necessarily like, it ends up destroying a relationship.

[@tristagreen]

Relationships are hard, and this film captures it beautifully.

[@swiftkarma4436]

Yes and that's why I love single life

[@deborahminter6231]

Sad but true!

[@selena1320053]

They aren't hard (in this way) when men recognize emotional labor placed upon women

[@M_C_O.G73]

​@@selena1320053Emotional labour??? Another feminist term?! SMH

[@selena1320053]

@ladyj7085 emotional labor is all the things that goes on behind doors in the household. Such as planning meals, scheduling sports doctor appointments for the kids, etc., keeping up with cleaning the house, there many more examples. The reason why it is considered labor instead of just an expectation for a family is because this work tends to fall onto the women, while the men would do nothing and not understand the importance of these things. Weaponized incompetence by men is also tied to this. We see here in this scene, the man doesn't have an immediate expectation to go help do the dishes or to clean the house. He even doesn't get the right thing thay she asked for when he goes to the store, while being extremely clear what she needs. He says she naggs him, while she's asking reasonable household chores and things to be done and should be done together as a unit, but they all fall onto her. So, yes, emotional labor is a real thing. It's the mental stress and additional workload that someone has go go through when thry come back home.

[@NubbyNubbster]

I think Vaughn said that out of all the films he's made, this one holds a special place in his heart. This film has been in my top 10 for years.

[@snickerdoodle212]

This is what happens when parents baby their son and do not teach him to take initiative and learn how to take care of a home without relying on a woman. Weaponized incompetence.

[@charlesming7875]

Last two words are wrongly attributed to this

[@dannytallmage2971]

That makes no sense. Either he’s a man baby or he’s weaponzing his incompetence.

[@mistersinister2043]

Maybe men just don't have the same level of cleanliness as women do. He would have gotten around to doing the dishes eventually.

[@jcarpenter3328]

If he wants to be left alone, then why be in a relationship? That’s not how it works lol

[@Kat.Evangeline]

20 Minutes !

[@brittanyturner679]

Right lol

[@jrseitz21]

Exactly, he only wanted a few minutes. Why do some people get so obsessed with now.

[@bucks9662]

Sometimes it takes a relationship for a person to realise that though.

[@KaiserBecks]

You can be in a healthy relationship and still get some me-time.

[@k_ckh7076]

Saw this movie when I was 10 years old, and now being 27 I’m like wow this movie was too real and relatable

[@ellejaysmith6623]

This scene is so relatable. And so well acted.

[@bronsoverbrains586]

I went through a similar situation like this scene with my fiancée. She made us this delicious meal, and as we ate while watching a movie, I promised her I’d wash the dishes afterwards, but I forgot to do so that night. Early the next morning, I got up before she did and washed the dishes, and then surprised her at her work by taking her out to dinner at the end of her shift. It’s the little things that always matter. ❤️

[@NataMessi]

So nice. Where are you, an actually men, are hiding ? Lol

[@bucks9662]

Yeh thats nice, do the same thing in 5 years though….

[@dawnriddler]

"Nothing I ever do is good enough" - well when you do nothing, obviously it's not 😂

[@nationalsocialism3504]

He is inconsiderate but she is super high maintenance... when you KNOW down to your very soul that regardless of how much effort you put in that the first thing you are going to hear is some nagging complaint about some aspect that isn't perfect then that's when people just give up. Why try when it won't be appreciated anyways... I ran an experiment on my mom when I was 11, I did literally everything in the kitchen. Cleaned the dishes, organized the pots & the pan & the bowls, wiped down the counter & cabinets, cleaned the fridge outside & inside, swept the floor, vacuumed the rug... literally everything that it was possible to do I did EXCEPT mop the floor. I intentionally left one thing undone after +4 hours of work to see what the first thing she said about the job... of course the first thing she said was "you forgot to mop the floor." I didn't even make the smallest attempts after that and just took the beatings until I got to big for her to be able to hit me anymore.

[@FC-hj9ub]

Exactly so break up with her so some one else can make her happy

[@nicolettetallmadge3254]

@@nationalsocialism3504 So you intentionally left the job unfinished?

[@nationalsocialism3504]

@@nicolettetallmadge3254 Yes... that's how an experiment is conducted. You start with a hypothesis, then you test your hypothesis & using the results of the test then you can draw a conclusion if your hypothesis is correct or incorrect. Fucking christ on a crutch... this is like 2nd grade science class stuff here.

[@nicolettetallmadge3254]

@@nationalsocialism3504 I see. Yes, it does stink that all of your other efforts were negated by that one undone task. Sucks that you experienced that when you were a kid. That being said, that's not what's going on in this movie. Brooke asked for 12 lemons, Gary brought back 3. Once you're at the store, it takes the same amount of energy to get 12 as it does for 3. Unless the store didn't have 12. Gary never mentioned that there were only 3 to be bought, so it's a reasonable conclusion that he could have gotten the 12 lemons that were asked for. That's not being high maintenance, Gary didn't complete the mission. It's not high maintenance for Brooke to ask him for help setting the table while she finished cooking. The dishes and glasses were already gathered at the table. It was a 2 to 3-minute job at the most to put them in their place around the table. Gary wasted time arguing with Brooke about it and then ran off to take a shower when the guests started arriving leaving her to finish cooking, set the table, and greet the guests. Also not high maintenance to ask for 15 minutes of help to knock out the dishes together when one person had already prepared for the party, cleaned and cooked beforehand. Gary didn't ask for 15 minutes of rest, Brooke suggested that it would only take 15 minutes and Gary countered that they could just leave the dishes until the next day. Which...fine, that's only going to mean that there's more chores to do the next day. And it's quite likely that it will be Brooke that has to do them the next day seeing as Gary couldn't take 2 to 3 minutes to even set a table. The problem doesn't appear that none of his efforts are appreciated, it appears that he's not giving any effort at all.

[@Queen_of_Sombra]

Hits hard when my own relationship felt this way. I cried seeing how they argued knowing it mirrored something like my own.

[@Kat.Evangeline]

Cried ?

[@deborahminter6231]

It definitely didn't look like a comedy.

[@robertmur7911]

Hits hard

[@MissKitty944]

This movie was so helpful for me. I divorced my selfish husband. I did everything for him. Romance.... yeh right.

[@butterflybe2230]

I’m glad you got out. Takes a lot of strength and courage. I hope you are doing well now ❤️

[@MissKitty944]

@@butterflybe2230 Yes, I am. Thank you have a blessed day.

[@butterflybe2230]

@@MissKitty944 You too ❤️

[@utop999]

Good for you. Some men are just lazy.

[@Ihatedayslikethis1]

I hope you're living your best life 🥰❤️

[@galaxyglitterlatte4664]

This movie depressed and utterly drained me completely. I felt like I had been chewed up and spit out. It's SO realistic!

[@poulomi__hari]

He wanted to digest his food while it never occured to him that his wife too wants to sit and digest her food, and wake up to a clean kitchen in the morning. It never occurs to him that she wants some help, some humanity. Its simply selfish.

[@deborahminter6231]

If he had been generous the rest of the time, she wouldn't have minded if he wanted to wait a while.

[@jrseitz21]

He wants 15 minutes!

[@deborahminter6231]

@@jrseitz21 which would have been fine if he hadn't left the entire responsibility of the entire party to her all day. She most likely would like to rest for 15 minutes too.

[@jrseitz21]

@deborahminter6231 whos party was it? He didn't even want it. She forced him to participate. And then blames him for not clearing up the mess she created on a subject he wanted nothing to do with.....that's insane. And who said she couldn't take 15 minutes? Why doesn't she change out of that fancy dress and heels and put on some comfy clothes and then start 🤔. I've never seen any woman do dishes in heels. I sure as heck wouldn't. I keep clean house but i never do the dishes right after I eat. It's usually a few hours later.

[@deborahminter6231]

@@jrseitz21 that's a terrible way of looking at it! Her party? They have to work together, wether it's her guest or his guest. Each one of them has family and freinds, it would be really rude for her too not help when he invited his freinds over....Visa Versa. As for the heels and dress, I 100% agree. Lol😂 I blame that on Hollywood...there are plenty of scenes in movies where the characters are not appropriately dressed for their activities, especially women. In a fictional world women wear make up, high heels, or earrings 24 hours a day. 🤣

[@ninaalfa797]

This is a prime example of how some men argue. Some men are too literal , they take words by their face value and drag them and do not understand the meaning or symbolism behind them. They don’t understand that it is not about obeying orders, forcing themselves to do things they don’t like , buying expensive gifts or buying stupid flowers … it is none of that. It is about exhibiting actions that show care , consideration and attention to detail , yet it seems that it is an impossible thing to ask of them. This was exactly the fights I used to have with my ex. sometimes it would get so frustrating I felt like I was banging my head to a wall because he would argue so superficially like that and would never listen or even try to. It was so hopeless. This movie was so real, it hits a cord for anyone who has been in a relationship where they felt unappreciated or unheard.

[@swiftkarma4436]

I often wonder if it's done on purpose by some men. If it's not purpose and just the way men are wired then I'd rather be single.

[@ninaalfa797]

@@swiftkarma4436 and this is why I have been single since my ex , he drained life out of me. and whenever I hear about my married friends’ troubles with their husbands, I am thankful I don’t have a man in a my life. A predictable life.. yes, but peaceful.. ABSOLUTELY

[@MusiicRoolz]

generally men are logical women are emotional. men argue logically and factually so a lot of the time yes a women's argument will go over their heads if it's a point that's feelings-based but presented as logic-based. women argue emotionally and covertly, they argue with feelings which aren't always objective truth. that's why it makes it easy for men and women to be unable to come to an understanding sometimes, because upon escalation a man is completely in his masculine and a women in her feminine (naturally defending themselves so results in closed/narrowed field of view). a man reverts to biased physical logic to recitify an "unfair" situation, and a women to her neglected emotions. whoever is more right or wrong can sway either way depending on the argument

[@boredbeastcerborus]

You have same thing online when you're debating and you use example to support your argument but the other person takes it too literaly and doesn't understand the point of an example so you just end up arguing with an idiot who pretends like you're the dumb one. So frustrating...

[@boredbeastcerborus]

@@MusiicRoolz how are men logical? Some are but this guy isn't. I mean look at my comment above, this argument from the scene happens in online debates all the time, this is how you know people are stupid, the opposite of logical. And I'm the guy, it's frustrating how some guys take examples used to prove a point so literaly that you can't even explain to them that they are missing the point, it almost seems like they're just trolling to rile you up. It's like part of their brain is damaged, they are physically unable to understand no matter how much you explain.

[@mau345]

This is why house duties should be taught equally to boys and girls.

[@ironsoul2633]

She’s 100% right

[@Kat.Evangeline]

Soon to be Single and right 😮

[@KathrynB621]

@@Kat.EvangelineYeah, but better alone than with the wrong person who doesn’t appreciate you.

[@timvibes]

Not 100% right. Her communication was lacking. You cannot say everything she said and did to him was 100% right. It's not that black and white.

[@KathrynB621]

@@timvibes It’s definitely not 100%, especially when it comes to relationships and those involved. She could’ve communicated a bit better, and expressed her needs. However, that goes both ways. He can clearly look around and see what needs to get done. He can pick up after himself. Living together with someone as a couple means making equal effort to the household. Communication is key, but you can also look around and see what needs to get done. Support and appreciate one another. Also give each other time to game or read or whatever, that’s important too.

[@deborahminter6231]

@@timvibes I definitely thought the communication skills of this couple was lacking.

[@sjplb94]

I wish that people would understand what she means is simple: I want you to help me. I want you to love me enough to THINK of me. Like its just please think of me instead of yourself SOME of the time. I love how she says l: How do you show up for me? And he can't answer other than holding down a job like... Any adult.

[@dannytallmage2971]

When in this entire scenario did she think of Gary? I need lemons for my dish for the dinner party that I want to have and the dishes I don’t want to clean in the morning.

[@zs9851]

@@dannytallmage2971?? She made dinner for the both of them, the kind thing to do would be to simply wash dishes for her out of the goodness of his heart and the fact that he appreciates how she did that for him

[@dannytallmage2971]

@@zs9851 don’t host dinner parties if you don’t want to do dishes. I’d much rather being out with my boys or cheating than eating dinner with my girlfriend’s dumb family. Gary felt the same way.

[@zs9851]

@@dannytallmage2971 It wasn’t the dinner party, she made dinner for him and her, the kind thing to do.. I have to say this again for some reason.. would be to just help the person you love out a little bit, especially if they have done so much for you in the past or continue to do so much for you. It seems to me that it’s hard for you to understand this concept of kindness and compassion towards others, and certainly by your remarks it confirmed that for me. I hope you find inner peace because you seem to have something going on in your mind to justify cheating in any circumstance, especially instead of spending time with your partner and their family. I hope you heal.

[@dannytallmage2971]

@@zs9851 lol yea life just sucks being 6’3” and looking like a polo model. I really really hurt inside from being able to sleep with basically any girl I want.

[@ishanray]

I was married to a woman who only thought of herself and anything for me was a chore. I totally get Brooke’s feelings, she wants him to enjoy doing things that make her life easy. He puts himself and his needs first and includes her but doesn’t reverse it.

[@avasinha9764]

Are you dumb....it's not her life easy....house and chores works are for everyone......if you thinks it's only her work...then you deserve to be single.

[@jrseitz21]

Dude...she's doing the same thing as you described....seriously look at it from another perspective

[@Videogame7276]

My wife and i have had a similar argument before. She couldn't understand why i was always so tired when i came home from work and didn't immediately jump onto the household chores. We both worked for the same company but our jobs are extremely different. One day i issued an all-call at work where all departments came to assist and after it was over she was like "You do this every single day?" And i was like "yep." and she was like "How?! I am ready to go to sleep right now!" And i was like "I enjoy it but it does take its toll some days." So there was a lot more understanding from then on out. I still help with the chores and try to keep it as even as i can but some days it isn't 50/50. Just like if she had a rough day and i was off, i pick up the slack. If you're looking for 50/50 all the time, you're gonna be disappointed because some days it's gonna be 70/30 or 30/70 but moving forward together and talking about it goes a long way.

[@charlesming7875]

It’s like compliments. Don’t say them because she wants you to, because YOU want to. Big difference.

[@nicolenicole6325]

I almost started crying because just 5 minutes of dialogue perfectly explained how I felt in my last relationship. I don’t know if they were narcissists or else but the helplessness of showing up, actually trying to change for the better, do things in a way that would satisfy them and then, them not even showing appreciation but belittling me. They only gifted me flowers a week after we met, I loved gifting them small things even flowers and yet, I received none.

[@mks9469]

This by itself is not a big deal….but it’s the collection of not thinking of her, not appreciating her, not listening to her, not responding to her needs and being disengaged with her and the relationship.

[@deborahminter6231]

Exactly! It could appear she is overly angry about the dishes...but she really is angry about everything. Communication is vital in a relationship.

[@dannytallmage2971]

Eh it’s also a product of her not taking his work seriously enough. They are in the middle of stressful expansion effort and she treats like he’s just goofing off at work.

[@heyhey439]

@@dannytallmage2971 It doesn't matter what people do at work. When you come home, you take care of the chores like a big boy. The moral of this story is that he is better suited to being by himself.

[@nicolettetallmadge3254]

@@heyhey439 Not to mention that he didn't do all of his work like he was supposed to either. He routinely ignored doing the tour logs and then got mad at his brother when he insisted that he do them.

[@lucy-janewalsh9047]

Omg I’ve dated a guy like this and he deserves to be alone

[@IBeMelissa]

My ex was exactly like this. So glad I left.

[@CrazyMunky84]

Women can never seem to see when they're wrong.

[@yomamapwnz]

@@CrazyMunky84 dudes wrong in this scenario tho. Do you ladies.

[@chicagoblackhawks9840]

@@CrazyMunky84 Bruh it's dishes. Man up.

[@alexguest3893]

Same

[@christinemerritt974]

This movie always punches me right in the GUT!!! Feels so real.

[@notmyopinion4981]

I wish I could keep my calm like this lady here after busting for years. The resentment really builds up.

[@FC-hj9ub]

It's a movie

[@faith-kj4pg]

Then he'll tell everyone he was "blindsided by the divorce". A redditer who's girlfriend left him said it best. "I thought it was a tolerable level of unhappiness"

[@scoobydoobydoo8069]

It’s not about loving ballet or doing dishes, it’s about loving make that person happy

[@Bobbychristopher]

Movie should be mandatory viewing for all couples

[@TheBeliever1204]

All men..

[@deborahminter6231]

😁 I think the film suckered us into taking it seriously. Not that these two actors didn't make the fight look extremely convincing.

[@walterheisenberg251]

I do the dishes every night pretty much because of this scene.

[@someoneyoudontknow7705]

On behalf of your (I’m assuming) wife, thank you!!! ☺️

[@thibautisserant]

What I love is that the guy DOES have a point too. She deserves the help, and a nice gesture every now and then, but you can tell that his work makes him absolutely miserable and letting off some steam at home is the only way he knows to cope with it. What's tragic is that neither of them communicated until the breaking point. Her that she wanted to feel more seen and more loved through little attentions, him that he felt soul-crushed at his job and needed a safe space to let out his stress.

[@sarahirwin6631]

His job isn’t her fault tho. That’s his issue to fix.

[@zs9851]

⁠@@sarahirwin6631if you love somebody, you try to be their peace, it’s not hard to simply let a man breathe and relax sometimes. Be a supportive partner for crying out loud.

[@sarahirwin6631]

@@zs9851 thats fine as long as it goes both ways, but this clip is opposite the opposite of that. She gives and gives and he does nothing to help. This is a pattern in their relationship and so she is fed up. Lol this isn't about me.

[@jz372]

@@zs9851 She cleaned the house and cooked for him. He can't even do the dishes (15 min)? Come on... He has all night to play video games. Him not even sparing 15 minutes of his time to do the dishes says it all about how much he does not care about her.

[@lucywalker4778]

This is about being considerate. Not just in relationships but with everyone.

[@dannytallmage2971]

This is a relationship that began with Vince vaugh’s character boorishly humiliating her date at a baseball game. Lol if she wanted someone considerate she wouldn’t have given him her number.

[@pepper1188]

Every married person can relate, sadly.

[@MegaSheen15]

But they’re not married, which is even sadder

[@SydneyKong]

LMAOOO TRUEEE MY MOM DEFINITELY COULD RELATE TO BROOKE

[@sallysmith8408]

Don’t marry someone like that then

[@pepper1188]

@@sallysmith8408 Don't marry period! Familiarity breeds contempt.

[@bananamanchester4156]

Every person in a toxic marriage, perhaps. But if you can learn to communicate clearly, and listen when the other person is communicating, when you can learn to show appreciation and love and receive it in return, when you can learn to contribute 50/50 in every aspect of your relationship, then this situation is entirely avoidable. Men are socialised to be ignorant and fearful of difficult emotions. Women are socialised to take on the majority of the emotional labour in the family, and to not communicate assertively. But just because that IS the case doesn't mean it HAS to be the case.

[@meimei12350]

This thing doesn't fit only in case of romantic relationship but also in other relationships too. If your mother worked from 9-5, came home and arranged a full meal by herself for a group of people, any kid of her would try to give her a helping hand in the kitchen. We do it out of love and compassion for her. If one can do it for their parents, they can also do that for their spouses

[@broncojuan]

Reading the comments here, and, man, dudes are not smart. It is really sad.

[@dietrichjoanne]

He is lazy and selfish.

[@shreddersaurusrex323]

It’s just poor communication at the end of the day. Small issues build up and become a major one.

[@Bloooo95]

@@shreddersaurusrex323 On his end. He’s consistently inconsiderate. Brooke is pretty clear in what she wants unless you have the social maturity of a 4 year old.

[@user-rw2dr5my1s]

No he really is lazy and selfish

[@hansoloburger2322]

Lazy because he gets home from working all day an has to straight into hosting a dinner then wants to relax an do the dishes in the morning sounds really lazy.

[@TheSeabassss]

@@shreddersaurusrex323 not really, he just a lazy and selfish dude lmao why you going out of your way to cape up

[@deborahminter6231]

The issue isn't that she had to "ask," it's that when she did ask he was unwilling and became angry about it.

[@erzascarlet5078]

And then men feel as if we’ve “left” them “outta nowhere”, instead of taking accountability for their actions smh.

[@mwoww08]

This movie was more one-sided than what I think it was aiming to be but Brooke definitely had some communication issues with passive-aggressive tendencies that I think a lot of us women have and are easy to miss. That's why I think it seemed a lot more one-sided throughout the film, but overall Vince Vaughn's character was very selfish and def needed to learn what being in a relationship really means. My bf and I watched this together and promised we wouldn't end up like this hahaha

[@ladymargaret6186]

Good for you... Poor brooke and she definitely deserves better

[@CrimsonWolf69]

@@ladymargaret6186 Yeah poor Brooke, who completely admitted at the bowling scene that she is intentionally destroying his life so that she is his last hope. Poor, poor Brooke.

[@arynrowland862]

@Crimsonys Right, because grown men have no control over our own lives, we just do what other people say. If you would watch the whole movie, you will see that neither of them are good in that relationship, and the whole point of the movie was that some people just aren’t made for each other.

[@Ready-ForTheEnd]

"You said you didn't like flowers" "Every girl likes flowers" Good grief. She's just as bad in some ways.

[@JackieD318]

​@@arynrowland862You're definitely right. I think for him, if she were truly the right one, he would have stepped up and wanted to do things for her. But she just wasn't that person for him. And I think she wanted so bad for that relationship to work, but it just didn't.

[@hitekx4065]

I was in a relationship like this once where my ex would let things like dishes and laundry pile up until I was basically FORCED to do them. She would wash some of her own dishes and some of her own clothes, but that was it. When I confronted her she said that it wasn't fair she should have to do those things because she had a longer drive to work. I was driving 30 minutes to work and she was driving a little over an hour. I said "I understand but I do work more hours than you and we both have days off" and she finally agreed to start helping out. She didn't, and the cycle repeated itself. It wasn't long after that I broke up with her because I realized she didn't respect me.

[@triquepersonalwork6369]

If people really love each other, and not just the feeling of love, but unconditional commitment, then both will offer to take part in doing things to maintain the relationship and things will be successful.

[@charlesming7875]

Grown man playing video games: 100% effective birth control

[@pilarcouto4326]

He said he wanted to be left alone and so she did leave him alone xD

[@suzanneblaylock9598]

She was top shelf. He knew it, but was too selfish to show it. Plain and simple. Like a little high school boy.

[@DivineLogos]

This is such a realistic and common type of fight.

[@Ninawena]

This is exactly my relationship w my ex of 5 YEARS the one year we lived together completely opened my eyes and we broke up because dealing w someone like that makes you depressed sad and just breaks you as a person

[@greatergoodfijithegreaterg6272]

they are both very good actors

[@Kat.Evangeline]

Both male 😮

[@aarongriffith6976]

This scene always hits deep.

[@seangriffin2053]

It's a great scene in that it describes the male-female relationship dynamic. Men take things more literally and women are better with emotions and being subtle. Some couples find the balance and compromise, but when they can't, it's best they find that out early and go their separate ways.

[@cilanatroisbetterthanparsley]

He should do his part without being asked. That's not subtlety.

[@Thomasjddj68]

This scene nails a relationship

[@nicolee2649]

Vince is a timeless under appreciated actor that is unrated! RETURN TO PARADISE is in my opinion his BEST ROLE!! Life is not complete without watching that movie for anyone who remotely likes Vince!! ♥️

[@gingerisevil02]

She's not being convoluted or complicated, he completely lacks empathy, he doesn't consider her feelings and needs at all.

[@dannytallmage2971]

Where in this clip does she demonstrate empathy towards him. Keeping in mind she wanted to have the dinner party. He didn’t care. She doesn’t respect his work or his family as she made clear at dinner.

[@tunge881]

Am not in a relationship, but man my family is like Gary . Thats why I wanna live in a cottage, in solitude, enjoying my peace.

[@HauNguyen-rw3mi]

Good one Rach!

[@CJDiecast]

This movie has some of the best acting I've ever seen. The fights and arguments are so true to life and natural that you forget you're watching a movie. Vince and Jennifer did a phenomenal job playing their roles. If I were to show an acting class that showcases the best acting, this would be number one. I've been watching this movie since it came out when I was nine.

[@harinisrigiri4898]

This scene is epic ! And hits close to home

[@danevans4714]

Asking my ex to do anything was hard. I loved him so much.. he just didn't love me the same way. As much as I miss him. I will never call.

[@rzn2258]

Being in a relationship with a selfish person is a waste of time. Time is something we will never get back.. Please people , don't waste it. Especially on selfish people.

[@aruntakhar]

Love it. You go girl

[@rotwell83]

Just what every relationship looks like at some point!

[@JACK.DEATH-Sariel]

"Why would I want to do dishes?" Vince Vaughn 2006

[@annberlin5811]

Best scene she is amazing

[@permata9613]

oh dear that scene brought up memories... it is like they filmed my ex and I when we were living together...

[@erauprcwa]

It seems this movie identifies a red flag if you agree with Vince Vaughn's character. It's not about the dishes, it's not about the lemons, it's about listening to your spouse and being there for them. It's not about wanting to do the dishes, but it's recognizing that your spouse did something for you and in return, to help them out, you can do the dishes, which byproxy shows an act of service that you care about them. It's about love, respect, and EFFECTIVE communication.

[@londonsfinest6070]

This film was supposed to be a comedy but you quickly realise its not really…

[@vuthuyhuong]

Somehow I still cannot believe Rachel does her dishes, even I understand that this is in a different world. 😂

[@johnyzero2000]

But she's a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man?

[@Kat.Evangeline]

Never leave dishes in the sink or on the table ! Good Lord 😮

[@jasfizarezany4894]

Seriously, i can't stop laughing!!!! 💀

[@deborahminter6231]

😂

[@akash.gkrishna2416]

Very relatable scene😂

[@orb3946]

Choreplay - if you did the dishes , I would love you more. Never works out gentlemen.

[@inesarif8497]

Of course no one wants to do the dishes but you gotta just do them! If you are both living together than you both need to do them simple as

[@allyjoy5943]

This is so realistic it hurts to watch

[@markjantz6177]

This scene makes me laugh every time

[@glowingowl221]

Omg this is like a masterclass in miscommunication

[@900KING2]

For anyone thinking about getting back in the dating game....this should do it. For at least another 6 months and then come back and the whole years covered. What a mess in these days.