I Was a Child Poet. And a Bad One.

In which John shares some of his early writing, including a poem called "Bio Poem" that is well and truly humiliating in its lack of quality. I also discover and share many items from my past, including my old report cards and some Brotherhood 2.0 memorabilia. Also, I celebrate some good news: The Fault in Our Stars has been named one of the ten best books of 2012 by the editors at Amazon: t.co/TaDb008x
Check out the de Grummond Collection on Facebook: / 103104874119
(And yes, this means that any interested researchers will be able to go to the collection and look through dozens of different drafts of each of my novels, read the editorial correspondence between Julie and me, etc. The de Grummond Collection is an amazing resource, and I feel very lucky that my work will be part of it.)
HERE ARE A LOT OF LINKS TO NERDFIGHTASTIC THINGS:
Shirts and Stuff: dftba.com/artist/30/Vlogbrothers
Hank's Music: dftba.com/artist/15/Hank-Green
John's Books: amzn.to/j3LYqo
======================
Hank's Twitter: / hankgreen
Hank's Facebook: / hankimon
Hank's tumblr: / edwardspoonhands
John's Twitter: / realjohngreen
John's Facebook: / johngreenfans
John's tumblr: / fishingboatproceeds
======================
Other Channels
Crash Course: / crashcourse
SciShow: / scishow
Gaming: / hankgames
VidCon: / vidcon
Hank's Channel: / hankschannel
Truth or Fail: / truthorfail
======================
Nerdfighteria
effyeahnerdfighters.com/
effyeahnerdfighters.com/nftumblrs
/ nerdfighters
nerdfighteria.info/
A Bunny
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( - -)
((') (')

[@gtdiscus]

From one of my report cards: "Scott does not know how to interact with others, except in ways they don't understand. Such as, he barks at them".

[@kalpnasaxena9112]

Scott Reida let's be BFFs

[@skylaraustin2304]

This raises more questions than it answers.

[@yashikadudeja2]

I wish i had a remark like that in my report card :")

[@ellw7830]

points off for the misused comma

[@suvineetsrivastava3011]

🙅🐶

[@magsmed1955]

I know a kid who was called an 'it' in a report card.

[@homeworkbreak4237]

I’m guessing not preferably

[@aaditbhatia6551]

Ouch.

[@aservant1284]

omg

[@sylvy16]

@@homeworkbreak4237 i’d be shocked if any school agreed to call someone by their preferred pronouns that are not ‘he’ or ‘she’.

[@elicronin3040]

"A story by me in which the main character dies, a story by me in which the grandfather dies, and a story by me in which the main character dies." Wow, he really hasn't changed.

[@dragonflies6793]

When I was in grade school my English teacher had to make an announcement to the class that we couldn't keep ending our stories by blowing everyone up

[@stanley9868]

Why? All the best stories end with people blowing up! Look at Star Wars!

[@myladycasagrande863]

Ending a story by blowing everyone up is a logical evolution from Shakespeare, who ended his tragedies by killing all of the important characters.

[@Neha71580]

So that's just not me who noticed that John Green had an obsession to kill off the main characters RIGHT FROM HIS CHILDHOOD! Right??

[@jtgarci]

Neha Kapoor its so dark, yet so awesome

[@jtgarci]

Neha Kapoor its so dark, yet so awesome

[@ladielydkyd1281]

Neha Kapoor Whereas I didn't truly kill off my first character until the fourth book in the series I'm sorta writing.

[@angeladawson6558]

LadieLydKyd Good luck writing!

[@maddi4699]

Neha Kapoor yeah i think he pointed that out on purpose

[@hoodiesticks]

Whenever someone reads something they wrote in the past, they feel embarassed. It doesn't matter who it is, what they wrote, or how long ago it was. It's like a law of nature or something.

[@alexandriahenderson339]

Death seems to be a topic John is fond of in his writing.

[@arushimandal365]

i watched this

[@alexandriahenderson339]

Lol I would hope so

[@allyvandergaast8746]

Maybe he was trying to be Emily Dickinson.

[@davidglenn9032]

and in his podcast...

[@erical1808]

If you pause at 1:50 you can see he got an A+ and 104 score on his Bio poem, with the teacher commenting, 'Excellent poetry!'

[@truboo4268]

+Erica L Well, for a Bio Poem, it's probably excellent. Compared to his more recent writing, it's horrid.

[@sdfghjksdfgh673]

Teachers; the smart ones

[@coletakkish4389]

“I only like John Green’s early work.”

[@manishareddyducksrule11]

WELL I THINK YOUR PRONOUN USE HAS ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT

[@mayak3429]

filed away for next time someone misgenders me

[@mikayladempsey7157]

Hahaha when you read that poem all I could think of was that scene in Friends when Joey tries to write Chandler and Monica's wedding speech - "Their love, about giving, having, receiving and sharing- their amazing ability to give, have, share and receive, the fact that they share and receive and give and have..."

[@autumnleaves2014]

If you didn't become a author, you could have been a auctioneer.

[@tomblack7327]

Lol you could tell he was reading queue cards at the time

[@autumnleaves2014]

Tom Black XD

[@evancarronkee]

+

[@abc314pi]

i legit snorted

[@numairakhan9237]

When he said "lover of peace" I genuinely thought he was about to say pizza.

[@lillyhill6093]

NE

[@melissaarcher1898]

This was my first Vlogbrothers video I have ever watched. I have now watched every single video from the beginning. Wow, what have I been dong with my life?

[@numairakhan9237]

If you've watched all of them, your life has been well spent

[@ashtuatara]

You watched ALL of them? I'm trying to do that, but there are soooo many!!!

[@luxuriouswishes]

Just watched this as my first one. Let's see where I end up. Probably McDonalds because I should be studying rn.

[@AayushMurarka]

I have had the same revelation

[@LynneBat]

Childhood John strikes me as a HILARIOUSLY awkward young person hahaha

[@nataliev.6155]

I'm sure someone has already told you this, but what that poem sounds like is a "fill in the blank" poem, in which you basically write about something with adjectives or verbs or any infinitive number of different types of description. When describing a thing, you begin the poem with that things name and end it with a synonym, but when writing it about a person, you typically start with their first and end with their last names. Usually these types of poems are filled in by 3rd or 4th graders.

[@stacy1780]

they made us write them in grade 11 this year and i hated it, partially because i kept on thinking about this video

[@lucysproggs7910]

See! Grades aren't everything, mom!

[@brianneb7691]

I died at "lover of peace, hope and Jennifer." That was the cutest thing.

[@pianofluteflute]

Ah yes, the awful bio poem. *war flashbacks* Here is mine from 6th grade, when I was 11. Also, I had a pet bird named Peter, who I was teaching to say hi, just so you know. Nicole Independent, unique, thoughtful and caring Sister of Drew and Jenna Who loves Peter, rain and books Who feels happy when the family is watching TV together, tired when the alarm goes off for school and proud when practicing piano Who needs responsibility to get ready for life, discipline to be good in the future and love to know how to love others Who gives lessons to Peter, butterfingers to Jenna, and suckers to Drew Who fears swallowing small objects whole, losing things and letting people down Who would like to see Paris at night, Washington D.C. and the Amazon Who lives in Liberty Twp. Tomaszewski

[@truboo4268]

+piano fluteflute Oh my god, I want your last name. Give it to me, please.

[@AlexmaxPL]

+Bryan Cotto I live in Poland. Everybody has those. They aren't that special.

[@pianofluteflute]

It's like someone smashed their face on a keyboard. Yeah, my great grandfather immigrated to the US.

[@linnisabeleielsen1691]

+piano fluteflute This was actually beautiful o.o

[@pianofluteflute]

Linn Isabel Eielsen haha thanks, but I think you should raise your standards

[@chizzy1611]

Even younger he killed off characters....

[@Kegobo]

I'm pretty sure that first names at the beginning of the poem and last names at the end were required... I had to do something like that a couple years ago. :3

[@Jay-to7yz]

yeah ive had to do it twice

[@sheaelliott942]

I just have to say this... vlogbrothers gives me life :) DFTBA to you all!!

[@lillathy2786]

1:03 "The book about me and my fun times"... in my pants.

[@elimacca]

"Lover of peace, hope, and Jennifer." AHAHAHAHA. Oh that's brilliant. I'm stealing that.

[@jensenbudziszewska3688]

I ONLY JUST REALISED THIS JOHN IS THE ONE WHO WROTE MY NOW FAVOURITE BOOK OF ALL TIME. AND I JUST. You still have that thing about killing people though *cough* Augustus *cough*

[@alane2018]

ugly sobbing on the couch because I read Looking for Alaska and The Fault in Our Stars too close together and it emotionally messed me up THANKS A LOT JOHN

[@Ferserious2]

SPOILERS

[@coralies.-arseneault2306]

*cough* Alaska *cough*

[@jayan.s.1672]

I read TFIOS on an airplane... On the way to my grandfather's funeral.... Who died from cancer.

[@wiamal-swafi7005]

Tom Ohm pinochet

[@darbythompson4980]

I would like to point out, after today's podcast, that this video was a mini middle school poetry jam (though you were a little younger), and now you, John Green, should definitely agree to having a full length middle school poetry jam.

[@neros12346]

Seriously? This funny guy wrote The Fault In Our Stars? I thought he'd be more of an introvert...

[@Loudnoseofflightclan]

HE IS BRILLIANT

[@amandabarthel2538]

You're new here, aren't you? :)

[@morrisova2]

Amanda Barthel uh i think you guys are not nerdfighters french the llama i do not think you are nerdfighters

[@marissahmusic]

Whoa okay, so introverts can't be funny, too? -.-

[@neros12346]

***** Wow that is totally true.... that makes me look bad because I LOVE Owl City and Adam Young is a big introvert. But he's also hilarious. I guess what I meant was he wouldn't be so crazy and silly in front of a camera, just like a little more shy? I don't know..

[@TheVanillaCows]

I just realized you are THE john green that wrote fault in our stars and I have been sitting here for like 10 minutes trying to comprehend it because I got to know you from KZbin and then I read the book AND I AM IN SHOCK BECAUSE YOU ARE THE SAME PERSON. I LOVE YOU

[@PairofChicklets]

KZbin brought me here John, and I think I did my best to just let it. Thank you for making my world awesome for so many years.

[@KyoyaKaoruCiel]

Yes, the dreaded bio poem. I wrote one in sixth grade... but I have no idea what I did with it...

[@alannar.8701]

We had to do Bio Poems too. They had a format, which is why yours was so bad. They never came out good. And it has to have the first name/last name thing.

[@juliaheilrayne263]

+Alanna R. We had to do the same thing. They all sounded stupid.

[@truboo4268]

+Alanna R. Yeah, Bio Poems are the sort of thing you do until high school because your teacher doesn't want to teach when you're still in summer mode.

[@Ricenburg]

Wow I can't believe it this guy writes award-winning books. As a guy who's not into romance much I'm glad to say I found The Fault in Our Stars simply amazing. Glad to see the writer is as awesome as the book.

[@ryleashepard7633]

I read The Fault in our Stars last week or so, and I sobbed through the last 7 or more chapters. It was beautiful and my goal is now to read every book you have published so far. I love your writings and I do admit that I never expected something like that novel from you. Best book I have ever read. So unpredictable and amazing

[@Sabrina-vd1qn]

0:05 to 0:18 John Green looking like a kid who just learned they're going to Disneyland

[@UncleJiggysCoffee]

A story by me in which the main character dies, a story by me in which the grandfather dies and a story by me in which the main character dies... He never changed...

[@moxierosenberg494]

All my report cards all the same. I am very bright but I need to put in more effort into my work. Every. Single. Year.

[@QueenFondue]

Sounds like those teachers need to put more effort into their work.

[@rosemaryg2530]

I just came across your channel- Words cannot describe how incredible of a book "The Fault in Our Stars" is. Thank you SO much for that! :) You're an amazing writer :)

[@macydeluca8923]

and also all his other books

[@CaseyLaFalce]

Some of my favorite Vlogbrothers videos are the ones where John and Hank give us tidbits of their pasts. Letting us see into the individual worlds that raised such inspirational personal heroes for me and for so many others. Little did John's fourth grade teacher know that that one kid who wrote "...and Jennifer" would grow up to be that one genius who wrote "My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations." ALSO 1:04 "The Book About Me And My Fun Times In My Pants." It had to be said.

[@trashcanman9357]

Hmm... I also have been killing off the main characters in my stories for a while now... I'm happy.

[@ihathtelekinesis]

Sure it's already been done, but... Q and the Three Tubs of Vaseline In Your Pants The Book about Me and My Fun Times In Your Pants

[@thatoneKatherine]

It really never gets old...

[@katiemirizio8645]

Pants Power and his Power Pants In Your Pants

[@randyg2350]

I have no clue what's going on

[@ashtuatara]

+Randy Gardner it's an old nerdfighter joke.

[@bandgeek9723]

Thank you for that shot of encouragement reaching to me through time from three years ago. Hearing about your report cards is shockingly like mine. This is especially encouraging as I am just starting out in my own writing career.

[@thirtybees]

So I love how John is both knows that he is an amazing writer, but is also incredibly humble about the praise and acclaim he has revived.

[@ConsciousMemory]

we still write those bio poems in elementary school!!! my little brother just wrote one!!

[@sparklepawz1185]

I can't believe I went to Hank's old elementary school and is currently going to his old high school.

[@phishfullofasha]

I've watched this video so many times and it brings me such like uncomplicated, visceral joy.

[@hanakei.crochet]

My eighth grade English class had to write an autobiography poem and I think my teacher used your poem as an example. It's really cool how much my teachers seem to love you guys, because my World History teacher also loves showing us Crash Course videos at the beginning of every unit!

[@emilyproeber1391]

OMG OMG OMG!!! JOHN GREEN IS MY FAVORITE AUTHOR!!! I AM SO HAPPY THAT I FOUND HIS CHANNEL!!! :D

[@Dreamfounder]

Welcome. Just FYI he has a few other channels such as Crash Course and Mental Floss (well that's not HIS but he's on it an awful lot). You should check them out.

[@ashtuatara]

Let's not forget Hank shall we?

[@prestonbruchmiller497]

Who in the F is Hank?

[@digilici951]

Preston Bruchmiller Hank is a plastic bag identified at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

[@aidanclark196]

That's funny. In the most recent video, (24 Feb 2015) John also talks about that happy dancer and report cards.

[@AmeliaBolstad]

I have seen this video so many times, but this poem still makes me laugh so hard. Like rocking back and forth, crying, can't breathe, silent laughing. I'm just so happy this exists.

[@junjunliu3042]

This made me laugh more than any other video on KZbin & I have just found a new obsession with this wonderful John green and I havent even read any of his books yet but I sure freakin will

[@pockiramen]

Wait, he wasn't a genius in school?!?!

[@myabella7104]

There's hope!

[@matthewhardin8335]

In the tenth grade, my class had to write bio poems. When we presented them, it was all I could do not to burst out laughing. All of them, including mine, were atrocious, and I don't know if it scarred me or not, but I didn't read poetry for a year.

[@goldsunwarrior]

No matter how many times I watch this video, it never gets old.

[@ohitsMB]

Just now getting into John Green and his wonderful writing, I put it off for far too long. And I screamed. Because I'm a student a USM and this is too much feeling for one soul to bear. Brb headed over to the library.

[@andrewxc1335]

John "World Peace" Green could work...

[@AlyssaBee473]

Also had to write a poem like that...

[@destinyreynolds237]

I know this is a few years late, but I'm a current junior at The University of Southern Mississippi, and I can't thank you enough for your contribution. I know I'm only a student here, and I realize that you probably won't see this, but thank you from the bottom of my heart. The Du Grummond Collection is one of USM's most loved features, and it is always wonderful to see such fantastic and influential artists as yourself contribute.

[@sierramorales139]

Holy Mole! I Used that Poem Structure Three days ago in My Creative Writing Class for the first time!

[@roryneville5574]

He has written other books .... It's not just TFIOS!

[@christenandjustinfan]

YOU MAKE EVERYONE DIE I just finished looking for Alaska Thanks john Thanks ily

[@aminavance2031]

NO SPOILERS

[@fivesilvercoins]

'incredible potential as an english student' --amazing foreshadowing, john's former english teacher, good on you!

[@Buhzug]

This was the first video I watched near the end of November. Approximately one month later, I have returned... After having watched every single vlogbrothers video from the beginning. Innumerable hours were spent on KZbin, I absolutely went over my internet usage, studying was significantly delayed... AND I REGRET NOTHING! I thought my life was awesome before, but I apparently didn't know what awesome truly consisted of. Thank you, John and Hank, and thank you, Nerdfighteria. DFTBA

[@EmilyroseSnell]

that poem is annoyingly good, especially since I would be beyond proud to produce something like that at the age of 16

[@SnickerChan]

LOL "Q and the three jars of Vaseline" XD

[@marceline_rots]

I love being subscribed to a channel in which they use lines like "Man with no torso who has been imprisoned in a triangle." This is exactly what i need in my life. Thank you

[@U1uru]

John reading old stuff makes for the BEST videos.

[@Kristina4568]

Anyone else think of the fault in our stars when he brought up the venn diagram? ;)

[@sarty]

Yes!

[@Bella-qv6lf]

holy crap he talks fast

[@noam090170]

John Green, you are more than flawless. You are my inspiration and I hope you know we all love you so much.

[@mikawinchester257]

Yes mum and dad this is the man I idolize and aspire to be when I am older.

[@rachloia6993]

You and killing off main characters...dear God.

[@SexyMadCovv]

Have you even heard of George RR Martin and Game of Thrones my sweet summer child

[@johnmacdonald9861]

Sexy Mad Cow yeah its tedious and gets boring and unrealistic by the second book.

[@JennVsLife]

Red is Roses. Unicorns are awesome. I suck at poems. Come to my channel. wait.......what?

[@Sephajinami]

Red like roses.... Fills my dreams And brings me to the place you rest White is cold and always yearning Burdened by the royal test Black the beast descends from shadows Yellow beauty burns gold I just had to....

[@JennVsLife]

lol thats pretty good ;)

[@Sephajinami]

Actually those are the lyrics to a song from RWBY. I saw the words "red" and "roses" and couldn't help myself.

[@JennVsLife]

oh ok sweet nd lol fair enough! :)

[@JennVsLife]

***** yay thank you :)

[@craftykrazi4306]

I finished your book fault in our stars last night !!! I cried so hard and smiled I love your book soooo MUCH can't wait to see the movie might actually read it again you did an amazing job on it !!! Congrats

[@emilyfaith4061]

OMG THIS IS SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY OTHER COMMENT!! I GO TO SOUTHERN MISS, AND AS SOON AS JOHN SAID DE GRUMMOND, I STARTED FREAKING OUT!!! I know we have his stuff, but I never thought he would mention it in a video! I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOWWWWWW!!!!!

[@destinyreynolds237]

+emilyfaith SMTTT!

[@emmasteward47]

He talks so fast 😵

[@PhobeBarrymore]

Have you heard Hank?

[@AndresLancheroskafata]

Amiee Ann WHo the eff is Hank?

[@BloomwinxSuper1]

Andres Lancheros John's would be self.

[@notthatoneallstar408]

Andres Lancheros a measurement of beef, usually around two and a half pounds

[@CivillaSpice8187]

John Green has accomplished one of the second best things you can as an author, in my opinion, and that is being known, loved, and celebrated, before death. The first having touched, help, and entertained people with his writing.

[@ivymorr7145]

The name of this vlog is possibly one of the truest thing I could ever so to describe myself.

[@isabellaalesandrini1089]

You are like James potter, As Sarah like Lily, and Henry like Harry.

[@BeautyByGwyneth]

You're my type of person :)

[@lozzafroggirl9458]

You are so creative. The FAULT IN OUR STARS is amazing it made me & my friends cry;-(

[@DanielFlailed]

So, John has had the same goals since he was ten, and they still ring true nine years later. Although he knows world peace is not attainable, he still does the best he can to help those in Sierra Leone, a small but important part of the world to him.

[@MovingSoup]

I just noticed that when I'm listening to John's videos while I write my NaNo-novel helps me write better. Thanks John, I might even finish my novel now :D

[@johnchessant3012]

John. nice. peaceful. visionary. joyous. lover of peace, hope, and Jennifer; who believed that world peace could someday be; who wanted good grades, high moral standards, and world peace; who used his money, his love, and his writing; who gave his money, his love, and everything he had; who said, "visualize world peace, it could happen". Green.

[@EphemeraAeterna]

It is always so entertaining to go back and read stuff that we wrote when we were little...

[@xcoldfire66x]

Brings back my memories of high school. always being told i should become an English professor. being pulled out of a random class to go to the creative classroom for a class discussion of a recently found poem (that i thought was in my locker or notebook) teachers giving me made up awards for my found writing. local bands taking what i just finished to turn into a song.....so on. this was great :) now i subscribed to your channel, and never knew i was already following you on tumblr

[@poojitachand2811]

after all these years, finally a bad writing piece by John Green, never thought I'd discover it or if it even existed, but here we are!

[@seesterful]

Oh man, so reminiscent of early vlogs.

[@kendallh10]

I got all of your books for Christmas. Needless to say, it was a quite good Christmas.

[@socallmeEllie]

Reading the faults in our stars now and it is really amazing! You are amazing talented :)

[@MaryHannahRuff]

Oh my gosh... Excuse me while I have a moment where I act like a prepubescent girl who just heard that her favorite boy band was in town, but OH MY GOSH. Okay. I love your writing, and I have read your books multiple times. I decided to finally "get to know" the author of some of the most influential books I have read. I started watching some of your videos on here, and obviously, I watched this one. I was enjoying the video, but then I heard where you are donating your earlier drafts and writings to. I live in Hattiesburg, MS (where The University of Southern Mississippi is), and I could not be more excited that the smallish and seemingly unimportant university has your writings. This fact makes me happy. Thank you

[@holaisaaa]

Finished off the ending with a love note to your 4th grade love . Very fond of that, world peace she’ll one day have ! ^.^

[@AlexDahlberry]

Wow I would love to see your manuscripts. Such an honour that you're in there! It feels like we have this connection because of nerdfighteria and it's going to be pretty cool in 50 years when you become "one of the best novelists of the early 21st century" and I can say "I knew him!"

[@KaylaBecher]

I just finished 'The Fault In Our Stars' and may I just say John Green that you are an absolutely phenomenal writer and I cannot wait to read some more of your work,

[@GothMsFrizzle]

I never knew I needed that in my life until this moment.

[@user-rd8xg2um4w]

First name, stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff, last name is a poem format. I do not know the name of this poem but it is a type of poetry I promise. Little John was on to something

[@FrontalBeep]

John Green. You. You. Yooouuuu...made me read looking for Alaska in 4 hours, and I have to wait a few hours 'till I get back home to continue with An abundance of Katherines. And 30 minutes were also spent cradling the box set without opening it, and then just touching your signature on my books. You've made me an addict! I love you :D

[@Aaisha878]

I LOVE YOU JOHN GREEN !! And I love your brilliant poerty/really long nickname!

[@nicole00771]

Dude no matter how many times i read the fault in our stars i keep crying like crazy. Its so ironic when you think that hazel is the one who is going to die and not Augustus but he is the one who died . I bought the book like twice the hard cover and the other. Its so amazing how this book can make you realize things you didnt realize before. I love you john green for this amazing book and i cant wait until the movie. I'll have to bring a tissue box to the movie theater. Best book ever and it will always be.

[@kodyjoe123]

This is the best thing on the internet. I love you!! xD

[@JocelynHummeljybiki]

I just finished Paper Towns last night so I'm glad I can understand

[@soph1dxxxxx]

Omg omg omg THE FAULT IN OUR STARTS IS AMAZING I LOVE U SO MUCH X

[@Kuhristenuh]

YOU are a beautiful soul, even though you have made me cry with your writing...

[@Midorikonokami]

Well done! :D You look and sound so happy, and that's fantastic! DFTBA indeed!