I was a 'pick-me' girl.

[@marshall1003]

I feel like we should rebrand cool girl as someone who stands up for others and themselves and is unapologetically themself. That's the real cool girl.

[@Joyish]

With you!!!!

[@bohendriks1428]

I'm 19 years old and just started wearing skirts again since I was like 10 years old because I grew up with the idea that dressing girly was "stupid" or "trying too hard"

[@miamoudilou]

i feel like girlhood is so complex and beautiful this video was sooo refreshing

[@ishanicc1745]

THIS IS SOO RELATABLE…. I needed that, I’ve always felt like i have to compensate for my looks by being the nice girl and the chill girl….but it gets so exhausting even with friends sometimes….and with guys its the worst feeling ever when I show some of my emotion and they act like complete duds being completely indifferent and then i feel like i should never have said anything in the first place i feel like at times i do use the chill girl persona to prevent myself from getting hurt cause some people can make you feel so undervalued.

[@Joyish]

Yes i totally get that!! Sending you so much love 🫂💙

[@besca1999]

I always tend to feel (due to not being pretty enough) I have to be grateful to people for liking or even loving me. I do know that this may not be completely true (or healthy...), but it just feels like it. What a great topic, Joy, I really liked listening to this!

[@Joyish]

I totally get this. Thank you for sharing ❤️❤️❤️

[@sumeya1923]

this made me emotional. I felt this way when I was depressed. veryyyyy depressed. You are wrong. It is absolutely not true. You are deserving of love and you deserve to be heard. hopefully my comment wasn't meaningless even though if feels like it right now. I would say more but don't want to bore you lol. Have a good day!.

[@besca1999]

@@sumeya1923thank you sumeya, words of support can never be meaningless ♥ I'm pretty sure I'm depressed, too. Not easy to get out of this way of thinking...

[@Mercynehema_]

Joy you did a good job at articulating the complex issues that we girls go through...and its soo admirable how self aware you are....we live for such content❤

[@linaw8006]

When you talked about you thinking that sometimes guys would prank you instead of actually liking you, I could relate sooo hard. Years ago when I had one of my first kisses with a guy, I truly believed that it would turn out to be a prank and that eventually the guy would reveal that he had been challenged by his friends to kiss me. So fucked up, but I really believed it, because I felt that that guy was way out of my league. Now that I've grown in my confidence, I can clearly see how unconfident I was back in the days... Thank you for sharing your own experiences related to this, it means a lot

[@lynnjuliana5459]

i love your honesty - i would also love a talk (basically your opinion) about body image/ways female portray their body on social media in respect to the male gaze:))

[@lottevree]

i love love loove these videos Joy. you're so good at giving us a story line, while still rambling on. that makes it very fun and interesting to listen to. Such a good skill to have

[@rinskeoevermans2678]

Obsessed with the top :) But yeah love how u explain ur view on this topic and ur soo right. Im looking to myself with a much more peaceful perspective now

[@Joyish]

❤️❤️❤️

[@meowizzz]

hey just want to tell you this is my first time watching your videos and I think they’re all so comforting!I hope your channel keeps growing and i’m rooting for you!💗💗

[@Joyish]

This means so much 🥹 thank you!!!

[@SarahSumlar]

Joy, you’re so full of wisdom! To the point where this became another self-discovery for me!! I’m about to turn nineteen this weekend and the subjects and advice you gave were so relatable and peaceful to endure. Thank you, for sharing and taking the time to allow yourself to feel comfortable with showing this side of your journey. Much love and support to you, you’ve made my day! 💗

[@Joyish]

This means so much. Thank you🥹🫂💞❣️

[@tilda8990]

I love the painting. And the outfit. And of course the conversation ❤

[@Joyish]

🥹💌🫶🏼

[@mimyglow]

i love this video so much i mention it on my newsletter ✨✨

[@sofialaramigliorini5477]

This video was sooo needed!! Thanks Joy

[@Miki-dl9tu]

Absolutely love this ep and so many things that I can relate. thank you so much for posting this

[@viktoriamatt6318]

i watch your videos since 5 years and feel like we kinda grew up together (obviously i grew up with you, cause you don’t know me haha) but i just wanna let you know that i’m so proud of you and the woman that you are! 🤍

[@Joyish]

🥹🥹🥹🥹

[@hilikaneya9155]

OMG JOY! the hair segment of this video. My god I’ve never heard anyone talk about it! So true so so true! I totally feel you, not wanting anyone too find out I straighten my hair and that I care about my hair. Thank you 💖

[@iuliamariapaval]

oh Joy, this was so refreshing to watch and listen. thank you so so much for making this video and talking about this topic. it’s sooo important. much loveee!!!

[@tamaradubeni6866]

Your top is so cute

[@heyitslj557]

obsessed w this top on you!!!!! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[@verenadejori5671]

Hey Joy! This video is just everything, you put it togheter so well and yeah I have no other words than: thank you and I unfortunately could relate to some parts aswell but we are here to leran and grow!❤

[@brittanysavoie7608]

Loove your outfit girl! Looking forward to listening to this.

[@bellahaigh]

so damn insightful, I adore your unique perspective, it's so relatable 💌 I am also so inspired by your creative content and would love to know what equipment you use to film/shoot? I'm sure you receive this question a lot but I thought I'd ask anyway!

[@alicjawiatr9111]

just strated wathing, but girl i love your top!

[@stewayn]

I love your vlogs, but I believe it's valuable to share your deepest thoughts. As a man, it helps me recognize and question the actions we often perform unconsciously. The realization that people often act based on learned behaviors without questioning them because we believe that's the only way to live in a community. Growing up, one becomes more aware of this phenomenon, yet some individuals never do. I believe one way to address this issue is by not surrounding ourselves with people who perpetuate it.

[@Joyish]

Beautifully said!! Thanks for sharing💗💗

[@lisamarie.h]

that's beautiful joy

[@vanessarotter5059]

Being a woman is just badass!

[@yevak2848]

beautiful video, so well spoken

[@あね-z3n]

Hello! I am Japanese😊I love your gleece journey💕

[@tonaruch8623]

You communicate beautifully

[@noraesche2619]

Ahhh Joy, this video is so beautiful. I love the way you connect your words and your feelings with your creativity. In love, as always, with your video🧡 Oh and by the way, those little sketches and texts from your notebook on instagram let me heal a little bit more every time:)

[@Joyish]

This means so much 🧡🧡🧡🧡

[@lizzziieeeeeeeee]

Omg a german author, Sophie Passmann, just wrote a book about this!!!! If there is an English translation, you should definitely read it! It’s called ‘Pick me Girls’

[@Joyish]

Oooo I’ll look into it thank you!!❤️

[@anastasiyamalishevska2565]

Loved this 😍 Could you please tell where’s your top from? It’s so beautiful

[@Joyish]

Thank you!! A brand called Little Yarn💞

[@mayaengel6931]

Love this!!!

[@_violinda]

where is the lovely top from? 🪽

[@Joyish]

Little Yarn ❤️

[@_violinda]

@@Joyish ty angel!

[@mimyglow]

Love it ❤

[@ANN-uv6kd]

How do you feel now? I like it

[@anieko6623]

Most girls are cool girls 🩷

[@Marie-mk00]

❤️

[@ellisboleyn5327]

🤩

[@callabroesi]

i think so many girls (including me) have had this experience but are "ashamed" to admit it, even though it is not just our mistake... society puts these insane expectations on us and has ideas about how girls should or should not be. so thank you for making this video, i think it's truly so important and good to talk about this more 🫶

[@Jenny2.0]

❤❤

[@z3m0s]

Commenting again for the algorithm ;)

[@hconf]

There is a bunch of internalized misogyny which sucks

[@Joyish]

Agreeedddd

[@nadiam926]

I recommend the book called "Text Me When You Get Home" about evolving female friendships and it really touches on yhe "pick me cool girl"