I Was Actually Being Honest With Myself For The First Time.” Gay Man Comes Out To Wife And Kids.

[@sewbee5222]

A lot of people know already.. don’t bring people into that kind of drama..stay single and work on yourself

[@raresmihai18yearsago43]

"Daddy ,I'm gay too cause I love you!" OMG MY HEART MELT

[@butterflyeffect6578]

Brought tears.

[@owenedwards118]

This made tears come to my eyes because for me being gay and seeing other stories of gay men makes me very happy. Knowing that his sons accepted him for who he is makes me very hopeful and happy for the future of the gay community.

[@stevec404]

"Way late..."?! How about first coming out in (my) late sixties. Now that really is late. No matter. We both have a new start.

[@rainbowboii9512]

bless you.its never too late to come out.hope your new start,is filled with happiness.

[@arnaldomanuel2755]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I send all the love to you

[@142dewin]

Came out at nearly 80 to my sister and niece! Felt okay!

[@shichigatsu13]

Very happy for Markus and his boys 💙

[@iamthegame09]

I think it's important to put the whole thing into context...it's different time and different places...like for example, back in the 1960/1970's I'd imagine hearing about members of the LBGT community "coming out" would have been absolutely unheard of so, if those people back then decided to "come out" in the 1980s or 1990's they would have in many cases have been in their 40's, 50's or even 60's so given the progression of the LGBT movement it could be said that those people came out "early" however, now that more and more members of teh LGBT commnity have an envrionment where there's greater acceptacne by wider society of being gay "coming out" say in your 20's or even 30's would not be considered coming out late....the point I'm trying to make is that it's never too late to "come out"...there, rant over! :)

[@MrLee5050]

My story is very similar to yours 10 years marriage 2 sons, etc. The year was 1975 in Wichita, KS. I have had a great life I am now 75 my husband is 81 we have been together for over 40 years. You will have a good life.

[@angshusarma1908]

Wow.....I am married to my husband for over 5 years, but till date we are not able to talk to our parents about our marriage. They just know that we stay together because we are friends and from the same place. My husband wants to talk to his parents about us but I am scared.

[@hectorabcdefg9076]

I don’t get it. Since puberty, I knew i liked penis. I fought it for many years. So this guy didn’t know he was attracted to men until he talked to his buddy about it?

[@LoganDC100]

@@angshusarma1908 Two of my best friends got married, after 35 years together, when one of them was diagnosed with cancer. Nothing could erase the years they had together, but they finally brought their families together. It shouldn't take anything that drastic.

[@alfmac7886]

@Mike Harrison No more than I fear Narnia ...lol

[@dylanslaugh3250]

Lee Townsley I have a question I understand how people can lie to themselves but how do you not know you aren’t attracted to them. I hope this doesn’t come across as me doubting you or anyone I don’t I’m just genuinely curious.

[@jdosantamonica]

I’ll be honest. It became obvious to me that I had same sex attractions around puberty. I was frightened by it mostly because being gay in my family in my town at that time felt very unsafe. I can’t imagine not realizing that i had same sex attractions until my 20s. Having said that, the vlogger’s experience is his. I’m glad his sons seem accepting, but understand the feeling of betrayal by his wife. Life is messy sometimes.

[@jacquelinelewis2110]

Jonathan Osborn To me, it’s not that he didn’t realize he was gay until his 20’s...he probably knew deep down for a long time but tried his best to suppress it until he couldn’t anymore.

[@MarcosIsABaritone]

Thank you for being HONEST. Unlike a lotta of these gals with stories on here.

[@gilloera8912]

I'm a 74 year old male gay and ive been with roger for 41 years, 4 months,3 weeks and 6 days..we had a rocky relationship in the beginning. Ive never been with a female nor have I had any inkling to be with one.

[@sl66ggehrubt]

I knew growing up, was known as gay, got bullied, entered the closet for two decades. Always knew, never acted on it until coming out later in life. Not having a friend to bounce feelings off of or talking about such issues is all it takes to never be inspired to take inventory of your feelings.

[@romaneros4583]

@@sl66ggehrubt great point about not knowing how to deal with feelings that everyone around you makes fun of.

[@vihaze6725]

I feel a lot of empathy for this man, and I’m glad he’s living his truth, but my heart also goes out to the wives in these situations . I’ve been through that. You feel stupid, humiliated, lied to, and like you wasted those years of your life based on a reality that didn’t exist. It’s not that the other person is gay, it’s that they knowingly married you without telling you. You obviously feel terrible for them, but you also feel a little scammed. It takes a while to come back from that.

[@mandam6434]

Yes my husband just told me he is gay after 13 years of marriage and 3 kids. I can't even explain my emotions. I feel as if the husband I married has died

[@DarkWillUser]

It sounds to me like in his case he didn't realize until later that he was gay.

[@killdalamb3357]

@@DarkWillUser Stop coping. He must have known he had feelings towards men in some way. You just don’t wake up one day and be gay. That would be counterintuitive to when gay people say they are born gay.

[@killdalamb3357]

@@mandam6434 Sorry to hear that. How are you now?

[@mandam6434]

@@killdalamb3357 I'm making it. He has given up custody of our children and we have moved to a while new state to be with family. His family all took his side in the divorce because he hasn't come out to them yet. It's a whole mess but the kids and I are healing. Thank you for asking.

[@deadcells963]

Everyone is being supportive yet I’m here simply upset so many years were wasted , I mean I’ve seen the counter argument plenty of times in this comment section already so I’m well informed but I just can’t accept the fact that people are saying the Wife doesn’t have a right to be mad. She completely does and she is obviously looking for a compensation as she should and unfortunately won’t get one. I hope she got through this and found a husband that loves her.

[@shaundejwan9035]

She was shocked? Really? No gaydar for straight people I guess.

[@sonquatsch8585]

yeah exactly. what kind of old skool shelteredness is THAT?!? she did not want to see it.

[@JimmiAlli]

Remember that there are some guys who are effeminate but are actually straight.

[@wallacyryan8211]

As a gay man, I find it's only after coming out that one really stops to disguise their mannerisms 24/7

[@p.stroth5084]

Gayhawk. If you studied at KU and never realized you were gay, that’s some deep suppression.

[@achmedaan]

Not everyone who has effeminate mannerisms is gay. My GF's friends have asked her if she was sure I wasn't gay, which I am not. So you shouldn't just assume things about people based on their mannerisms, just look you shouldn't assume things about people based on their looks.

[@lyndaharwood5535]

I've been gay since birth so never went down heterosexual marriage route, I know some people suppress their sexuality or not realise until older. I have to say I have sympathy for the heterosexual partners.

[@UniDocs_Mahapushpa_Cyavana]

Well, that's what you get for being naïve enough to think the Unconscious will never lie to you I guess. 🤷

[@realjettlag]

@@UniDocs_Mahapushpa_Cyavana Do you serve a vinaigrette with that word salad? BTW, what you’re trying to appear to be an expert in isn’t the unconscious, it’s the subconscious. But keep doing what you’re doing to make it easy to spot a troll.

[@UniDocs_Mahapushpa_Cyavana]

@@realjettlag The Unconscious is not sub anything. They are a completely independent intelligence who can think for themselves. They are not subservient to you. You 🫵 are subservient to them. 🙄

[@Tripper111]

Good for you Bro and thanks for sharing your story...

[@GMoney-B]

I can understand completely that living a life that is not you can tear you apart. For anybody in any situation if you are not being yourself, it will tear you apart. However I would not hold anything against his wife for responding the way she did. Many women want nothing more than to have a loving husband and family to go through life with for the rest of their lives and beyond, so when she found out her husband was not able to be in love with her, and was having this other life even if just in his feelings/heart, for so long, how can you not empathize. Again, I can understand how the guy was feeling like he was stuck and living a lie, but just at least try not to accuse his ex wife or other similar situations or people as if she/they are unfounded. You have to look at it from both sides is all I’m saying. For her it was her entire life coming apart, since for most people, their family unit is literally their life, meaning, and purpose.

[@abigailjohnson568]

Very true. Her life got turned upside down. To her she has to grieve the lost of her husband . It’s as if he died and she has to learn to cope with that.

[@dragonmage7980]

A good lesson not to tie your entire sense of meaning and purpose in life to another falliable human, huh?

[@GMoney-B]

@@dragonmage7980 do you know what being in love or a relationship is like? The whole purpose is to find a soul mate and it’s really hard not to toe yourself together in a relationship, in a relationship, and then have that turn out to be a lie because of lack of communication. If you want to live an a-romantic relationship, that’s fine, but for mostly people, this is an innate human desire. I actually can agree that a person should have an ideal mindset that you are your own happiness, and that you yourself are enough for you. It’s a healthy mindset, but the wife in the video in my opinion has merit. It was lame for the guy to not communicate from the beginning. That is a successful relationship if they communicate fully with one another, even if they don’t stay together imo. Better to communicate and then separate than to stay together and not communicate.

[@WhirledPeace]

God bless him for not cheating and putting his family first. He didn’t act on it, he cared enough to tell his wife first, knowing she might do what she did. I admire the soul in this man. I always thought some gay married men cheated and lied to their wives just like some straight men did putting them selves first, but hearing this..I want to cry I’m so moved. There’s hope yet ❤️

[@robertbrolo486]

WhirledPeace like ur comment have a great week Buddy no call's.

[@tylerroyster9814]

WhirledPeace so you’re saying that she’s wrong for being hurt over the fact that this man has been lying to her about loving her completely for the last decade or two?

[@marta9127]

"Putting his family first"??? 😂

[@mariahyohannes]

Tyler Royster yes it’s wrong but at least he didn’t cheat and hurt her more by having his cake and eat it too. he could’ve never said anything to her and then who knows what could’ve happen then.

[@AirOnTheAir]

We don’t know if he cheated or not actually...

[@williamstringer6519]

Markus's situation makes me realise how thankful I am that I always knew I had no sexual interest in girls when I was a teenager, and did not involve an unsuspecting young woman in marriage. I found it difficult to empathize fully with his situation, as there seemed to be no cognisance of the dreadful effect he had on his unsuspecting wife. I would hope she has now found a man who loves her and can express that love in the physical intimacy we all crave.

[@memorymalunga670]

So true, he was so tone deaf in his narration. He could have at least acknowledged the pain that he caused his ex, and emphasize with her. I also think he is not being really truthful when he says that he did not know he was gay until he met the friend at the gym. I'm sorry, but I find that hard to believe.

[@greggkimball4110]

I wonder how many times his gym buddy used that phishing line on how many other married fathers?

[@jerryb9207]

I got married in 1984 after being married for three years and having a son i had to face the fact that after denying everything and even trying to be married that I was gay and sexually and emotionally attracted to men. I got tired of denying who I was and dragging everyone in my life through a lie. The first couple of years were hard. My son and I had to adjust with me not living at home and my ex-wife had to get over her anger at me which was in reality more than legitimate. But after that it was the best thing in the world I fell in love and was married to a man for 10 years and my son got to see what a loving relationship was like, my ex wife became my best friend and everyone in my life became wiser and more tolerant and understanding of others. Like most things in life it wasn't easy but it was definitely worth it! Good luck you'll be surprised at how well things turn out in 30 years.

[@ananse77]

Now see, that is the approach of a responsible man. You claim your right to love your life truthfully, yet you also acknowledge your wife's right to be hurt and angry, and accept that you made mistakes.

[@jerryb9207]

@@ananse77 Thank you for saying that. Coming out can be powerful in so many ways. Putting everything out there and cleaning up the mess that I had made was the right thing to do. Even though at that time being gay wasn't cool. Like many gay people of my era we had to swim against the current but I think it made many of us stronger. Thanks for the kind words :)

[@lincolnpaul1814]

jerry bennett, jr Hollywood ending

[@howardbaker1620]

If it (your life adjustment) was easy then you would not treasure the experience and you wouldn't feel accomplished! I had a great feeling with your short excerpt on your prior and current lives. Many of us have similar experiences and we survived the trials & tribulations! Keep loving yourself and others as life always gets better with a positive attitude.

[@jerryb9207]

@@lincolnpaul1814 true ending.

[@RealCoolWorld]

Told my parents I was gay at 18, mother said "I've known since you were 12". It was never an issue.

[@kylebolton8147]

That’s so great!

[@kylebolton8147]

Rob S What is wrong with you? The “right” path is to love yourself and be happy!!

[@rodientialazlomiba7365]

same

[@jameslong6329]

I can relate your life experience! I married a woman when young to change myself back in 1977. Have 2 grown sons divorced after 20 unhappily married! Came out started over today 25 years after divorce my x wife still holds a grudge & turned my younger son against me! Out of the closet close to my oldest son & my sister! Much happier being true to myself!❤❤️💪Rainbow 🌈🌈🌈🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[@jameslatour3987]

Please ignore the haters! They have no idea what they’re talking about. I did this at 37 yrs old. 18 years later the only person who never adjusted to it is my ex-wife. My THREE kids are all grown now and have a tolerance than many in their very conservative church don’t. They turned out stronger and more compassionate. Their mother is an adult and no one can choose her path, only her. I married a second time and all three of the kids saw HIM as their stepdad and also told him how much they loved him and hugged us both continually. Until someone has gone through this (from either side) they should not be commenting. And why on earth are their haters here anyhow? If you don’t like these videos and what they stand for, why is your sick curiosity about? BE STRONG Mate! It DOES get better and better and then not and then better some more...like any life path.

[@silentfades]

awesome response.

[@darunzahn3171]

Very good comment. It's easy to judge from a spectators standpoint and see the whole thing in hindsight, but no one knows what you or he went through that led you down those paths. Life is full of choices, rewards, consequences, and possibilities. None of us make it out unscathed or always choosing the "right path", whatever that is. I'm glad your children and his were able to accept it and learn from your experience, which is all parents can really do for their children. We can all choose to survive in bitter negativity, or thrive in sweet positivity.

[@ottoroberts5163]

Yeah that’s great but you out a woman through hell she has a right not to validate your new life because you falsely validated hers. Some of us don’t pass as straight or aren’t fussed about being with a woman just to live a lie and those people are rarely seeking the same level of “gold medals” for coming out even though we didn’t involve anybody else in our mess... think about that and maybe realise the stank attitude from your ex wife is penance for you not being brave enough to either a) be single b) pretend to be straight but not commit to anybody or c) keep your sexuality a secret if you live in a conservative/non acccepting environment. George Clooney married super late. Do you think he was a celibate bachelor? Hell no. You wanted and easy way out and your shocked the easy route left people feeling resentful toward you? I bet you’re the same type of gay guy that doesn’t respect feminine gays for some internal self hate reason but that’s only a guess. Just remember people who can’t pass for straight are beaten and killed sometimes so maybe your wife feels resentful toward you because that wasn’t happening to you and you chose to waste somebody’s best years for finding a mate. Lol

[@jmtennapel]

Otto Roberts did it ever cross your mind that you come off as a rambling madman? And before throwing the first stone, it isn’t like straight marriages are a success all of the time. Given the number of divorces there’s a lot of journeys people go through in a relationship.

[@damiluaer8859]

James Latour I would not call it hate. Not saying it is his fault for being homosexual, but his wife did not deserve him to dump her several years after their marriage just because he found it out a little late. She probably had strong feelings for him, and he married her, tricking her into thinking that he gives her. As far as I see it, it is more or less the same situation as leaving your wife for another woman. If you don’t love someone, why marry them to begin with?

[@lapun47]

Gay here, and my aunt was married to a guy with a similar story. But I have to ask: Would commenters be as generous as they are in this thread if the video was from a man who had lived several years with his male partner, adopted children with him and then one day left because he decided he was straight after a friend saw him eyeing up women? How does this man's story differ from that of a man who leaves his wife and children because he is attracted to a woman who is not his wife? Just how temporary is the "till death us do part" clause of the marriage vow?

[@robertcollins7025]

A man did exactly that to me. He is now married to a woman. I am not saying it was easy but I am glad he is happy. As for wedding vows let's get real. The divorce rate is huge. People cheat and always have. It is at least honest to just move on.

[@AdamFlanagan]

Love you. You did everyone a favour by being honest.

[@silvershadow7655]

An ACTUAL favour would have been being honest in the first place.

[@jamesbutler3812]

I'm bleeping impressed! Thanks for taking the time to share this, every story adds a bit more validation to all our lives, and the cumulative effect feels like a tsunami. All the best to you.

[@paulaidan8079]

Once a husband and wife separate (when there are kids), it's not easy for either: both emotionally and financially. But the one left raising the kids (getting their meals every day, doing their laundry, checking their homework, getting them ready for school, dealing with teenage issues etc) is suddenly left with a very demanding life - and that's aside from the emotional trauma and humiliation of being left by your spouse. It's probably far more mentally demanding than they guy would have experienced if he stayed in his closet until the kids had finished high-school. It's easy for a woman to find herself married to a closeted gay man. By and large, they're generally kind and considerate and very easy to fall in love with. I hope his poor wife was OK - suddenly finding herself in a broken home through no fault of hers, raising the two kids mostly on her own. This same thing happened to two neighbouring families where I live, in one case the mum fell in love with another woman and left the family; in the other the dad fell in love with a guy and left the family. In both cases, kids still had to be raised in difficult situations. It would be quite understandable if Markus's abandoned wife were not so impressed with the above video. Many would see it that being a parent is all about self sacrifice. What he describes is a tragic situation for all concerned: I wish them all well.

[@zrp8y23]

He didn't leave her. She kicked him out without any discussion it seems.

[@thewrongshoes]

Well you can’t be mad that your wife got mad because you wanted something other than her 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@abigailjohnson568]

She wanted her husband. She was deceived into marry him. Their marriage was a lie and fraud. It’s more than mad. It hurts, something you don’t seem to understand.

[@dragonmage7980]

@@abigailjohnson568Marriage and caring for someone is about a lot more than sexuality. If it lasted that long it’s pretty obvious he genuinely loved and cared about her even if he isn’t into women sexually.

[@garricksaro1380]

Thank you for being so honest. Yes I had a similar experience but, it was my partner who was married with four kids. In the end, his ex-wife accepted and gave us the four kids to finish raising. She got the break she truly deserved. My partner and I stayed together for 26 years until his passing. His ex was there for me and still is. All four of his children still refer to me as dad.

[@michaelciccone2194]

So that is that with his wife and little kids AND MARRIAGE VOWS TO HIS WIFE..! Why is yapping to his coworkers? He has this sense of glee..his family is broken up! ..

[@glebebeagle50]

I went through almost exactly the same situation as you did, I was in my 30's before I knew I was gay. It was very hard for me to accept at first and there was a lot of confusion but I came to realize that I am who I am and have now been with my husband for just under 30 years.

[@danas612]

Happy for you. I didn't come out til I was 29, but I never got married or had children. I did have love for 12+ years, until he passed away.

[@ronen160]

I hope this guy and his wife have made amends. Life it too fleeting for anger and resentment, especially over something like this. I have a friend who now spends Thanksgiving with his husband, his ex wife and her new husband, their kids and kids boyfriend/girlfriend. And it's wonderful.

[@josephrocha142]

He left out the part that he messed around with his friend before he told his wife. Lol.

[@middlemarie]

Sigh. Poor wife.

[@abigailjohnson568]

Very much agree. He is celebrated for coming out while she mourns the loss of a companion she never really had. He moves on and is happy, while her heart is ripped in two. She found out that the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with, never truly loved her and her whole life was a lie.

[@shaunleonard3878]

Be happy and proud of who you are!!! 👍🏼

[@meenyminymoe]

I had a similar experience. Married (happily) for seven years, but not being absolutely true to myself. It's a wonderful feeling to finally get where you need to be! Loved your story!

[@RobertFleming]

So proud of you. The fact that you’re gay isn’t the best part imo. You’re being true to yourself. What more can you wish for?

[@robertbrolo486]

Robert Fleming like ur comment don't call my phone just text my number Buddy u look so Hot.

[@dongheng6613]

@@robertbrolo486 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😃😃😃😃😃😃

[@alfmac7886]

@ftwbk Exactly why he left, why should two people suffer? Set her free so she can find a man that loves her completely.. mind, body and soul!!

[@alfmac7886]

@ftwbk "most married couples barely have sex" ...Really? Your situation is not the norm in a healthy marriage! I'm sorry to tell you that ☹️ but lots of married couples have a very healthy and vibrant sex life..

[@alfmac7886]

@ftwbk please site your sources for so called 'statistics', I stand by my statement and can provide reciepts.. can you? Because YOU don't have sex on a regular basis doesn't mean the rest are deprived..

[@tthinker9897]

I knew I was gay, or rather that I was attracted to guys, from about the age of 6. I've met several men who came out late, but have always had a difficult time understanding it. Of course, I am probably a little different in that I was always repulsed, and would be on the verge of a panic attack, when a female would "come on" to me. So my absolute revulsion to the idea of physical intimacy with a female was quite a tell. Many gay men (bi-sexual?) seem to be able to have intimate relations with women, but once they come out or accept their gay orientation they never seem to desire women again. Puzzling to me.

[@millenniumfantasy6503]

Stories like these are very painful for everyone involved. Even as a complete stranger hearing this makes my heart quiver just a bit. I hope one day the LGBT community can come far enough so this will never have to happen.

[@codevoid4238]

Same, I also think education into sexuality when we're younger can help too, because for some people trying to figure it out is difficult and that society isn't progressing enough to accept people.

[@bertybertface1914]

Here is the thing, it is not us (lgbt) that needs to change. If the world around you is open, accepting and filled with honesty then anything is possible. Kissing my beautiful man while we are out, could still today end up with us being abused or hit by dullards. So we will continue to smooch until the message is clear, grow up and mind your own business. How many heterosexuals have this fear?

[@athleticguy15]

@@bertybertface1914 Great comment, Berty.

[@pitreichert]

I accepted that i was gay when i was 37. I was married to a woman and we had 2 kids together. She didn't take the seperation well at first, which is absolutely normal, but over time we are developing a kind of special relationship of co-parents/friends/siblings... I live with my boyfriend now, that i met after i seperated from my ex-wife. He's now an integral oart of my life, participating at family lunches (every saturday at my mom's) with my ex and kids, cousins, uncles... The kids had no big trouble with the separation, as my ex and i payed good attention that the kids should not suffer from this. We even involved the teachers, asking them to look out for strange behaviour in the kids. The kids love my boyfriend, and he's a very good influence for them. Not everything is perfect of course, my ex-mother and sister in law still won't talk to me, but even there, i see progress. Uhm... long text, just for saying i went through something similar and glad to see there are some other guys there like me

[@abyz1467]

Why did you marry a woman and have kids with her?

[@uo1111111111111]

@@abyz1467 Hmmm ever single person in your entire life has told you that you would marry someone of the opposite sex and that gay people are devils. What a mystery.

[@JoshBWeaver]

I wonder if he's still friends with that first guy who confronted him.

[@chrispleasant2846]

I'm sure that's probably who he hooked up with first! Since he already had a crush and they went to "dinner together" and "chatted." How are you going to start working out in a gym while "looking for a community" and not know he's gay, your gay and you have the butterflies in your belly while your "bro" fronts you out at dinner as you shiley just say yeah, yeah you're so right. Why didn't I ever see this before. Thanks for bringing it to my attention and changing my world for the better. You're such such a good "friend."

[@MissQue715]

@@chrispleasant2846 some people are oblivious to the point that this happens until confronted with the reality of things. Some people put up mental blocks to things because the reality would be too traumatic. For example growing up in a religious household being constantly told that gay is a sin and punishable by death and eternal damnation. Being threatened with rejection from those you love. Having the stereotype of getting married and having kids forced down your throat so you feel there are no other options so you block out your feelings. You do everything your told because that's what your supposed to do. That is the only way to keep the love of those you are a fraid to lose. You do it because that is society's norm and you can't function outside that. You may see an attractive person of the same sex and rationalize the attraction as envy instead because you can't allow yourself to think it can be anything else. These things maintain the mental block that was created until someone shatters that shit by putting that other option square in your face. Thankfully we are moving to a place where people are saying there is more that one way to live. Acceptance is making it easier for people to live as they are. Mental blocks are no longer needed.

[@chrispleasant2846]

@@MissQue715 Number one. I use my real name MissQue715. Secondly, I still call Bullshit!!! Thirdly, I was raised Pentecostal so don't get all hysterical on me saying how hard things are for "some people." I was molested by cousins for 11 yrs. I never received closure and no one ever apologized. I did go to counseling for several yrs for own my sanity later on. Life isn't a joy ride! I was married and had two great kids and then she cheated. I was the bread winner in that fun little fact because I worked as a union corrections officer, which allowed her to stay home and be free to cheat all she wanted . Guess who got the shaft in that situation? Yep, I lost everything I worked for. The judicial system is a joke. There is so much more I could put in this but I will not! I chose this lifestyle "after" the divorce. When a man can proudly sit with a smile and say how he was married for 10 yrs then destroyed it all because he made a gym buddy?! That man is a coward!!!!!! He has nothing to celebrate but his freedom to screw every man he's been dreaming of. If lust is worth destroying your marriage, love of family and friends and hurting your kids, possibly scarring them for life!? The counseling they are going to need because of his decision is ridiculous! If you're married you are going to find others attractive. It's natural. The fact is don't be a coward whether you're a man or women and just throw in the towel when the marriage seems old or you have to work to keep the magic going! It's all part of life. Please, look at most gays......They never stay together and if they do it's usually an open relationship. It's kinda funny really because most men and women cheat because of a penis or vagina. When gay men hook-up they have two butts and two penises and they still aren't satisfied!!! Life is tough buttercup!! Suck it up! Someone else has it much harder than you. End of story.....Add on, every time I get a commitment I rewatch this and think he's so feminine, so in this case how is it that his wife just didn't see he's gay. I hear it in his voice and see it in his mannerisms. I've literally never seen a straight man act like this except for "Todd Chrisley." Hahaha.

[@hannahpowell5745]

Chris Pleasant Hey sir, thank you for sharing your comment. You’re right about life being tough, and I admire you strength and comment of great detail. I was raised religious as well and abuse is a hard thing to overcome. I hope that for the remainder of your life that you can find real joy and contentment because of you giving a big part of your heart into your children. We need more men like you.

[@rodientialazlomiba7365]

@@chrispleasant2846 It aint my fault you are an angry liar--talk about being a coward. Good for her for cheating. You are an A-hole.

[@AndreDMalan1966]

As a gay man who had a 20-year relationship with a man (my partner died of renal failure 11 years ago), I can empathise with my gay brothers about suppressing their feelings, so this is not a blanket judgement, BUT my heart truly goes out to the innocent women who these men marry. They deserve to be loved and adored by their husbands, and being forced to start all over again must be so very difficult. I would strongly urge any gay man who wants to marry as a "cure" to seriously consider the consequences of their actions.

[@okimlistening2u]

Thank you, Markus, for taking the time and having the courage to share your story. I believe it is never too late to come out. I was 20 years older than you were when I came out.........thanks, bro.........Ray

[@magdalenawilliams1692]

I have friends who went through a similar experience. They knew they were gay,but it was not acceptable in life at that time. They got married to females and had families etc... Later in life they divorced and came out and now that marriage is allowed for the gay community they found love and got married. It took time for the families and their children to except them back in their lives. I'm glad you still had a relationship with your boys. God Bless you and your family. I hope your ex wife in time excepted you and you are co parenting with no problems. 😊😉👏👏👏👏👏👏👏❤❤❤😎❤

[@monaebreak561]

Beautiful story! If anything he is setting a good exaple for his kids by being brave and true to himself!

[@duuuud9364]

I hope that the wife had a good support system too. I can’t imagine how she must’ve felt.

[@Saf_Ibn_Sayyad_Bacon]

I hope he has a good support system she doesn't matter

[@Hoot182]

good for you. Life has many different journeys for us to travel and experience. Being honest with yourself is a big hurdle all of us must face. Then becoming excepting of that honesty is the biggest hurdle. Good luck and God bless

[@douglaswilkinson5700]

The best decision I ever made (45 years ago) was *not* marrying my girlfriend.

[@noneyodavis7590]

I hate this so much. As a woman that was in a relationship with a closeted man. It’s all sunshine and rainbows for him when he comes out but what about the woman that was lied to for years and now has to rebuild her life and think about how her relationship/marriage was built on a lie.

[@aileexquis3206]

I know right!? This ain't fair :(

[@skyemasterson1111]

For Every Dr. Markus Boos, there are 1000 others. Most people like him, would keep this a permanent secret forever. Afraid to rock the boat or jeopardize what they had going, like work, prevailing social circles, family or.............but, I commend you, Dr. Boos.

[@darkhorse7460]

Many people do keep it a secret

[@alexduggan2844]

Omg I feel soo bad for the wife can you imagine

[@rudiechinchilla6746]

Zero tolerance but that s not right they should have worked out this issue together I m just making up words on this matter

[@RFDeStefano]

He is living his truth and also very attractive.

[@zeuswill9523]

I always knew.. I remember in 1st grade..my best friend handed me one of those cute notes we did as children.." do you want to be my boyfriend, check yes or check no".. I remember so vividly thinking omg..I don't like girls and I just want to be friends..I found somehow to make humor out the note and we both laughed and remained best friends throughout my childhood and adult life. ..I always knew I was different....always!

[@jaitonyodaniels9540]

This life story is inspiring and a education for me, as I was listening carefully to what he was saying I begin to realize that his ex-wife wasn't upset about his life , it was a feel of betrayal, deceit and Broken Dreams, he also stated they just recently moved, so all of this was a ton of bricks falling on her so to speak.. I'm happy to think that everybody in this family is free from (the pain), I hope his ex-wife has moved on from this devastation period In her life! what I've learned from this is to always bring (your truth) which is (your self), that's a lesson I took from this video!..

[@bernardyoung1356]

you are a loverly genuine guy I wish you all the best in your life.

[@steves4639]

there's only so much that can fit in a 5 minute discussion, but I feel like a lot is missing here...he never realized this before meeting up with his gym buddy? never suppressed scary feelings up to that point? how did he get through 10 years of marriage? I doubt it was as simple as flipping a switch after a really good dinner with a gay friend. As a gay man, of course I'm glad he's now living the truth, but I always feel sad for the woman that gets left behind, through no fault of her own...he's living a life he was destined, but she's cheated out of the life she thought she would have. no discussion about that aspect either. Glad he's able to keep the relationship with his boys.

[@derrylwillis9565]

Thank you for sharing your story; it’s beautiful and honest.

[@killdalamb3357]

Nothing honest about lying to your family for years. Stop coping

[@Magnetron33]

I'm not "coming out" because I don't feel the need The few friends I have left probably know me more or less. I have lost decades old friendships, where people have simply walked out of my life w/o explanation.I tried having girlfriends for years, sometimes somewhat successfully and have a daughter and stepson. I will never try that again! Now that I fully understand that part of me, I know it can't work. I deeply regret the hurt I may have caused others. I have at least reached a point that if someone asked me if I was Gay, I could at least answer honestly. This guy is just trying to live authentically. I admire his honesty and courage.

[@chadtx254]

My story is very similar. I was in my late 30's and had been married 13 years with two kids. It was tough at first but all worked out. My ex wife, kids and I are all much happier now and my husband and I have been together almost 19 years now and have 4 wonderful grandchildren.

[@lukasstevens8740]

Thank you. I am recently (2 weeks) into coming out to my wife of 12 years. This gives me hope I am so hurting right now and needed that.

[@lukasstevens8740]

My Own Private Idaho since I posted, we have been in healthy communication and really I see us working towards friendship. It’s been really amazing. Thanks again for being brave and posting.

[@2024myyear]

I'm that wife. Trust me it's hard for us too. However my husband are more honest than we ever have been. Falling in love again but trying to figure out what the future holds.

[@lukasstevens8740]

@@abigailjohnson568 totally am supportive: that’s it, I own my faults, she was hurt, I lied. I experience my consequence. I also love my self too though.

[@abigailjohnson568]

Lukas Stevens I think my husband is gay and I can’t stand him.

[@lukasstevens8740]

@@abigailjohnson568 it’s fair. My wife and I didn’t work well because I was gay and too scared to tell her because I still valued her as a person. You are totally allowed and justified in being pissed off.

[@alexharbula4930]

He lyed to his wife for 10 years how horrible is that

[@FlattyMchesterson]

Alex Harbula society discourages him to be himself his whole life. How horrible is that?

[@alexharbula4930]

Fan XD Square Enix or he is bisexual but doesn’t like the idea of it so he was like oh must be gay. Cause having a wife for that long shows you have feelings for her at least

[@billhosko7723]

@@FlattyMchesterson Gettagrip. I came out in 1982. VASTLY easier today.

[@dragonmage7980]

Not much different from someone having an affair. I dunno why people make such a huge deal about people hiding their sexuality when people hide WAY worse from their partners (child abuse, for example) and somehow get over it or make excuses.

[@megg.6651]

I picked up on it within the first 20 seconds...

[@vietnamemperor123461]

This man story is truly inspiring and amazing. Its good to see him be happy and accepting who he is and finally have his true color show to everyone. His wife must have been really hurt by him after all the years she was lied to. But I'm glad to hear she forgive him and move on. Some other woman might retaliate and never would had spoken to their husband if they found out he's gay. This isn't easy and homophobia still exist. I've seen this a lot where I know a particular gay person would enter a heterosexual marriage because of the society pressure without knowing the consequences they will face when they can no longer hiding and even if they did succeed hiding it then I couldn't imagine what a miserably life that person have.

[@timzes]

you already a better person, congratulations, your tone of voce and gentleness of speed shows that you are a humble person.

[@ellebelle6439]

Meanest thing you could do to someone

[@laurahardgrove955]

Sneaking around being her back would have been worse. He had not faced it before. He did not try to deceive her. Once he realized- he was honest.

[@haroldbooton5704]

Thanks for sharing this. The peace of your heart increases your charms.

[@curnon69]

How sad that there are people that feel the need to attack this man. Would this be any different if he realized after 10 years of marriage that he did not love his wife and went on to marry another women? Not all people come out in their teens. Some people marry their childhood sweethearts and realize later that they have grown apart.

[@paul28177]

Nope...even if it was a straight guy - if he had dated, had sex, married, then bought a new home, a dog, and just had twins and then one day said "sorry... you're not what i want" - then he would be labelled a douche and a bad guy... Now if their relationship was still new and it wasn't working - then fine... if they were fighting and arguing, then fair enough... if they wasn't doing all the things to build a life together, then it would make sense... but there was no 'legitimate' reasoning behind it all other than he met someone and decided to run away from it all... So yeah... gay or straight...10 years in with a new home and creating a future and then leaving just like that...totally wrong -- it would be like all the planning for a wedding and the bride turns up and last minute say "hmm...sorry... i've decided not to get married" - and then sending all the guests home.

[@pitreichert]

@paul d You know, people and relationships change over time. Life is not a disney movie. If ultimately a relationship makes you miserable and has negative consequences on your surrounding, it's better to break up and start over again

[@Beluleano]

@@pitreichert It's not a Disney. We've all been there, what is probably the annoying thing coming from this is how smug he was and almost disregarding of his wife's perspective. Sure, he now gets a rainbow flag, she gets a decade lost loving some guy who couldn't have figured out he liked dudes?!? Come on. Droves of homosexuals have braved through the social stigma and cultural trials of live and being anywhere just to live. So in modern America he felt such a way to deny all who he is and out of nowhere *POP* he's a gay?! I call bullshit. Nobody is that lame. We all know from a very early age what we want and like. Anyone who says otherwise is just confused or stupid.

[@pitreichert]

@@Beluleano dude, i was in exactly the same situation as him. I grew up in an open minded surrounding. The prime minister of my country (Luxembourg) and the finance minister both are gay. Yet, it took me 37 years to figure out and accept that i'm gay. It's not like i never loved my ex-wife and i still respect her now. But we are better apart. It wouldn't have been fair, neither to her, nor to myself, to keep a facade, pretending to be straight.

[@ananse77]

Realizing you don't love your wife after years of marriage is different from never having loved her at all and having lived a lie for years and forced her without her consent to do the same. I would say the same re a heterosexual man (like Prince Charles) who did not love his wife when her married her, but pretended he did, and led her down a false emotional path (like Princess Diana was).

[@larryjones-emery807]

Thank you . ❤ I was shamed by my playmates; excluded--my parents were not people I could share with. I was an angry mess for so long. BUT--GOD was keeping me. It took me until I was 63 to get free. I am a serious follower of Jesus Christ. I love the Holy Bible. I finally learned to accept myself and life. Each day is a blessing!No more lies. No more cruising. No more feeling a need 'to explain anything, to everyone. I like me, as I am. Hallelujah! It is about time!

[@garyg6000]

A nice and attractive guy. Thanks for sharing !

[@user-xy4ff5yp7b]

What a beautiful story. You did the absolutely right thing - you are only on Earth once and life is too short to live as someone you’re not. Best of luck :) ❤️

[@harmlessandroid]

40 and just came out. Also from Michigan. Also have twin boys. This resonates with me so much. Thank you.

[@chriswright1358]

your gay

[@killdalamb3357]

Did you get married?

[@michaelmichaelfordloverman8332]

I'm coming out in sports although I'm single it's the hardest thing I've ever done and I have no friends where I am so I would love support

[@robertsherman9975]

I can’t imagine how difficult it would be, to come to that realization, when one is married. But also having Children. I knew at a very young age. I’m happy that you are finally able to live the life, you were intended to live. My heart is filled with compassion for your Ex Wife, as well. Her world as she knew it, came to a close. Losing her Lover, best friend and father of her children. I realize it’s a lot more complicated then it appears. I’m sure many people think that it was selfish of you, however they have no idea of your internal journey. I sincere hope is everyone that is involved, may find peace and compassion, and move forward with their lives with much Love and Happiness 🌈

[@Mark-xh6qc]

Omg....the poor guy. His poor wife. The kids....how awful...😢😢

[@mitztrick]

I feel bad for his wife

[@zajournals]

Understandable, but now she's free to find a man who will love her as she desires.

[@noneyodavis7590]

Z A Hopefully the next one isn’t closeted too.

[@DJ-ip6jl]

@@noneyodavis7590for real. Imagine if the next man does the same😭

[@bellagaara1]

how is it okay to cheat if you are gay and not okay if you cheat with another woman? If he wasn;t gay we wouldn't be so supportive of him 'coming' out to his family.

[@zajournals]

It's not okay to cheat, and he didn't. He told her before acting on his feelings.

[@maverickspirit208]

I feel so sorry for his wife and kids!

[@fernandomunozvilches9481]

I’m so glad you figured it all out and that your kids are with you.

[@rdqb9355]

Why does gay media insist in passing off these home wreckers as “inspirational heroes”? They’re nothing of the sort. In fact, home wrecker is his sexual orientation. What kind of message are you trying to send to young gay men? To lie about and deny your sexuality? To not worry about dragging a wife and a pair of kids into the lie because you’ll get a video on KZbin and have a bunch of gay men congratulating you in the comments? I would be more understanding if he had been married 30 years ago and was in his 50s or if he came from a country where homosexuality is illegal. But it’s 2018, he’s young and he lives in Seattle of all places. There is more representation of gay men in media now than there ever was before. Of course his wife is angry. I would be too if I lived a 10 year lie not of my own making and was deceived at the altar. At least he is still a father to his two sons. Some kids aren’t so lucky. I get that the closet is a survival tactic, but how “inspirational” is it to drag a wife and kid into the closet with you? If anything it’s something we should be telling gay men not to do. Instead we portray him as “bold” and “brave”. Bold and brave my ass.

[@billiehighsmith5568]

Exactly. I don't understand how they're calling him a hero. If I know I'm a lesbian I'm not going to go marry a dude to hide something I'm ashamed of and hurt other people in the process. This isn't inspirational. Just stay single if you can't accept you're homosexual.

[@zajournals]

Hero is the wrong word. The point they mean by that word is being true to his discovery instead of hiding it, which too many men do.

[@millenlaflore]

Well he doesn't sound so str8

[@MichaelJohnson-vi6eh]

My older brother had a very similar story to this. I am gay too but knew for sure when I was 17.

[@cannedpotatoes]

I always think it's wonderful when someone can be who they really are. I just wish he had a little more understanding of how his wife may have felt to be hit with this bomb. She thought she was building a life and the rug was ripped out from under her. I love his relationship with his sons.

[@romaneros4583]

Real question is, does a person have the right to be happy if it means hurting another?

[@HarrysHappenings]

I am gay and married in a loveless marriage for 43 years. I started having nsa fun with guys because I needed loving feelings. I have two adult children and my son is gay, but I am not sure they accept me because I like younger guys, asians in fact. I am now 71 and single, still looking for love

[@michaelearendil6843]

In conservative Michigan (lots of traditional religious groups and communities), I can see how Mr Boos was in denial. I was married and we had beautiful kids, but I too was in denial until I became more and more depressed and could hardly function. It took a while for me to realize that men give me emotional energy and passion, and women just don't. Our divorce was really hard but amicable. My ex-wife is remarried (thank God; I still care for her and want her to be happy). I never have found a guy to share life with, but I am no longer depressed, am happy, and am thankful for the gifts of awareness and honesty. I am happy Mr Boos and his sons are examples of a new world in which people are free to be themselves.

[@sewbee5222]

A lot of people know early on.. when you marry the opposite sex knowing there is that side of you that exist or is attracted to the same sex .. it’s unfair, just wrong.. those people really should work that it

[@rjcarter2904]

Beautiful story. You made the right decision. Some of us take what seems to be a path of least resistance, but ultimately it is not.

[@ConservativeAnthem]

So he walked away from a marriage and twins to embrace his "real self"? And his "real self" just happened to be wildly selfish and only concerned with his own happiness? Wonderful.

[@middlemarie2]

Meanwhile his wife is left bleeding on the floor. Maybe dont marry a woman if you think you might want to do a guy.

[@paul28177]

I can understand dating a woman, maybe getting married, then getting a dog - all for the sake of telling yourself you like women etc. But... being able to get an erection, have sex with a woman, end up having kids -- he must have felt something for her. If he can honestly sit there and say that all that time he was gay and was just lying to himself but then drew his wife into his lie and then added children to it all -- that's just wrong. It sounded more like he did like her but never met the right person or the right guy and so he settled for her... he was ok for 10 years of marriage and whatever came before...but then he met someone else who happened to be a guy. When i was younger i struggled with sexuality and dated girls - but as much as i wanted it to work, i didn't feel it was right to pull her into my mess...one girl even said she thought i might be gay but was ok with that and we could make it work...but if i couldn't give my all and truly love her, then i'd only be hurting her in the long run - which if you do love someone, you also don't want to hurt them. You also don't just wake up gay :-( ... which is how this guy seems to paint the picture. While coming out is supposed to be your path in life... in this case, you are affecting so many and essentially ripping apart your wife's heart and making her question the past 10 years, making her question what real love is, and she may never trust her heart or men again. If they were fighting and genuinely unhappy, then split up... but don't set up house, have kids, and even buy a new house -- he literally planned a life with her and then half way said "nah...i thought i could do this but i need a cock in my life" -- it was 10 years :-(

[@christopherharris8312]

this is exactly what I was thinking and Im horrified to see so much support for this guy, who should have taken atleast a few months to make such a heavy decision. He took a fucking day to break someones heart who was with him and trusted him for 10 years.

[@peraman2022]

I personally think that many of these guys who come out while married are technically bisexual but are now awakening their same sex attractions. As a gay man myself I could never get with a woman no matter what. I also believe that once you make a decision to marry someone and produce a family, then that's then union that you should stick with.

[@Mikauofthezora]

This is so wholesome. Your kid is the best.

[@sparkers70]

This is why it's SO important for gay people to be open and out -- and that means gay celebrities too. Imagine a world in which kids who are gay or questioning didn't have to feel like they're all alone or abnormal; a world in which being gay isn't treated like a big shameful secret. Then perhaps people like Markus wouldn't spend 10+ years pretending to be straight, building a life with another person and having kids, only to risk ripping them apart emotionally when he's finally ready to "be honest with himself."

[@emjayay]

Obviously things are way way different today, and many young people think of their relationships to men and women in a more open way, gay or straight. When I was a kid being gay didn't exist. Then we had fifty years since Stonewall. Kids today grow up in a different world in this regard (except some of them, of course, but few are not at least a bit aware, which is more than what was possible back then).

[@jamesmodlin6279]

He was blessed with two sons. It wasn't a waste of time.

[@Shalondria]

Right?! Could u imagine if Beyoncé was honest about her sexuality? I’m speculating and speaking into the void.

[@moorrum6686]

Yeah so true, if not social media I think I wouldn’t be able to fully accept that I am not flawed. It’s just who I am and I finally starting to accepting it in the age of 17. Can’t imagine how messed up I would be if internet and welcoming people wouldn’t exist.

[@karlrschneider]

Best wishes to you. I think your situation is a lot more common than most people realize...I have come to find out that no less than 4 of my friend from back in high school came to realize they were gay long after getting married and had children. 3 were complete surprise to me...I have to believe there are others I never found out about. it can't be easy for them.

[@robbhunt4142]

Absolutely love your story!!! Good for you!!!

[@travisexe4095]

This story made my eyes well up instantly

[@joalexsg9741]

What a touching and sweet testimony! May he and his kids be blessed and his wife gets the due resignation to move on as due, without bearing any grudge against him for finally accepting who he really is!

[@polisigh216]

Jo Alex Sg uh no and she shouldn’t be expected to.

[@IanPanganiban]

So he's single? 😋

[@octaviacryer2437]

😂 😂 😂 😂. You naughty 🤣💕

[@cutetreytn]

Keep you paws off. I saw him first. 😋

[@KR_11117]

You can figure out who you are after scamming someone else for 10 years! My best friend was gay, he passed, I loved him more than any member of my family, his family rejected him when he came out! But he never scammed a woman into marriage, there is no excuse for that!!!

[@elmobolan4274]

As a woman and wife, what a nightmare!!!!

[@afrinaaest]

I cannot imagine the pain

[@marcelococteau]

Try being more human then…

[@theoriginalskinsey]

​@@marcelococteau I think it is quite human to be shattered by the news. I hope she was/is able to find healing and a new life for herself.

[@jamesjuarez1252]

Hugs and congratulations to you Markus! All we can do in life is to try being the BEST version of ourselves. Love yourself and be proud of who you are. We all have our story... and this is yours. XO

[@freddenker9537]

That's life... even lesbians come out late... I can only say, never let yourself be forced into heterosexual marriages, especially not through religious humbug, that can't end well and it's usually worst for the children. ..

[@sgiovangelo47]

I admire your integrity and honesty not to mention having the courage of your convictions; I had realized I was gay from probably when I was 9 or 10 when we didn't even use the word 'gay' as it commonly is used today; unlike you I never married but I have had friends in your situation who ended up having to get a divorce and coming near to a complete mental breakdown over the stress; I always knew they were gay but they allowed themselves to be 'pressured' by family and in later years my two friends admitted yes, they had no one to blame but themselves but at least all that was 2 and 3 decades ago and both are still dear friends and in wonderful relationships with men. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@rc5chi539]

While I can appreciate it took a long time to acknowledge, I have confusion with not having a clue you were gay until you met this man at the gym? I don't think that I've ever met another gay person in all my years who had "no idea" they were gay?. Good luck to him and his children But even more luck to his ex-wife as I'm sure this wasn't easy on her. These stories are always inspiring but we also shouldn't forget about the people destroyed/devastated in the process because it's not always a happy ending for them?.

[@jodejack]

It was the same with my husband of 18 years. He was married to a woman for 14 years before realizing he was gay. Because he was raised in a controlling household where it was not accepted, he didn't identify his attractions to some men as gay or sexual. It wasn't till a guy unexpectedly kissed him that he acknowledged those feelings as attraction. Everyone finds their truth in different ways.

[@paul28177]

Men have a thing called a penis that can be very difficult to control sometimes... I can assure you that i have never had anything stir in my pants at the sight of a sexy woman - so the idea of having sex with a woman would mean i'd have to have an image of a sexy dude or take viagra... then there's the issue of if a sexy guy does walk past, that can cause movements downstairs. I understand the controlling society and family etc - but for them to be like that and for you to realise they are like that they must suspect something and you'd have to have had certain thoughts. If a person said they were bi - fair enough... they like both and sometimes lean more to one side depending who it is... but to say you are gay, yet were able to get it up long enough on more than one occasion to have sex with a woman and have kids and claim you never had any idea you might be gay until a kiss -- this isn't 6th grade!!!

[@tomsoares8282]

Paul D wow so many years trying to bring progress to the LGBT community and you simplified being gay as a penis thing...if being gay had only to do with a penis life would be so much easier

[@emjayay]

@@liteflightify Exacttly. There is that Kinsey scale. But I think more of it has to do with psychological mechanisms of denial and compartmentalizing etc.

[@Cake1848]

"I'm gay too because i love you". 😊❤💜💙💚💛😙

[@spaRKLES88604]

I’m so happy I came out at 17 and knew I was gay. I feel bad for both parties. The wife basically has her whole life destroyed and she kinda just has to deal with it. The new gay man has a lot of catch up to do, new baggage which alot of other gay men don’t like to deal with. He has to learn brand new dating customs and it might be difficult to adjust to the new realities.