I Was Diagnosed with ADHD…Let’s Talk (Getting VERY Vulnerable)

[@espem88]

Abbey, I'm 34 and was diagnosed ADHD this year. What a revelation! It's been interesting and enlightening. My family was quite surprised as I didn't have typical symptoms and "clues" as a child. I was an overachiever and excelled in school. Women are underdiagnosed and spreading awareness is important, so thank you for sharing!

[@blandinem.4675]

That's so interesting about the overacheiver part because that's me too! I have autism and ADHD but I'm still discovering both sides and learning how they showed up in childhood

[@Mariaaziere]

My daughter presents different than me and my son. She has to make sure everything is perfect and is an overachiever. Her psychiatrist said it was her coping mechanism. As for my son and I we have classic symptoms. He was diagnosed at 5 and I was diagnosed at 40

[@LarsGoran-u9e]

You weren't born with it. It came as a result of a poor diet and bad habits (mainly excessive phone usage).

[@JosieStev]

@@LarsGoran-u9e So all of the kids in Mrs. Norman’s class in 1974 were excessively using a phone? They were fu(king hyper as hot hell. My 4th grade teacher didn’t believe me and my neighbor that they were torturous to us “normal” kids.

[@RachelBJ]

@@LarsGoran-u9e Dude. Just stop.

[@lacycavalier4584]

Abbey, just thank you!!! I was also a high functioning “good kid” who did well in sports and got A’s. But it came at such a cost. I was constantly stuck in a cycle of procrastination and anxiety and although my ability to hyper focus and get work done at the last minute paid off academically, it was exhausting mentally. When I was diagnosed with ADHD at 18 I sobbed. Everything finally made sense. There wasn’t something wrong with me, I wasn’t a failure. I was neurodivergent. Thank you for this video and casting a light on how ADHD has impacted your life as a female. Thank you for sharing, thank you for being vulnerable, thank you for being you!! ✨✨

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Wow thanks for sharing

[@21972012145525]

I am the same today. Procrastination since high school and then having the ability to hyper focus to git it done. It’s exhausting. Once my sister and I got the same score on an exam that she studied for, I didn’t (didn’t have time?), she explained to me the material ONTHE BUS RIDE TO CLASS. She was so pissed. It was introduction to chemistry in college. She’s now a pharmacist 😂 However today this manifests into putting of cleaning until guests are literally ringing the doorbell, anxiety with due dates and deadlines. Planning ahead, but still not completing tasks somehow. Never getting off KZbin. It’s so tiring and idk what to do

[@katieyoung7271]

I’m an adult diagnosed AuDHD’er. I had suspected since I was 16, but in the 80’s girls just weren’t diagnosed. All the best on your journey of self discovery❤ Welcome to the fam!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thanks Katie!

[@RamatoulieBo]

AuDHD here as well 😊 hii!

[@katieyoung7271]

@@RamatoulieBo 🥰

[@angelxbunny]

2000s weren’t really any better! 98 baby here and only got my audhd diagnosis early last year

[@cearanoir]

Adult diagnosed AuDHDer here too! ASD diagnosed at 40, ADHD at 44 (this year). So grateful for others for opening up. ❤

[@flahertypatrick29]

Abbey I was diagnosed with ADHD at 30 and frankly it was life changing. Treatment has opened up my ability to do things I never could before but almost more importantly it allowed me to realize what has been going on with me my ENTIRE life and allowed me to process and heal from it all. Knowing that Im not lazy, that I’m not broken, that I have a specific condition- that was painful, joyful, rare inducing, and freeing all at once. Thank you for sharing your story, the more people share the more people reveal or they’re not alone in this.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Love this so much

[@kellyhikes]

I am 43 and literally was just diagnosed with ADHD this week I am relieved and validated and also scared and anxious! Thank you for sharing. I see so many parallels of my own journey with your story. I am sure a lot of ADHD women have similar stories. High functioning and successful, able to compensate/overcompensate our entire life until the responsibilities of adult life (kids, career, household….) became too overwhelming. This really made me feel seen. Thank you. I would love more ADHD/neurodivergent content if you are willing to share.

[@amandatinsley8580]

I am 36 and am getting tested for neurological divergences next week. It’s astounding how much it is missed in women our age. So glad it is different for our kids. My daughter was just diagnosed with adhd and autism and I am so glad we can set her up for success. I think we have finally realized as a society how important mental healthcare truly is.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Exactly

[@OkayestChemist]

I’m 38 and was just diagnosed with AuDHD. It explains a lot of difficulties I’ve had in my life. I was a “good” student until college when everything fell apart, and have been an anxious mess all my life. I’ve been medicated for about 10 weeks now and I can’t tell you about the huge difference it’s made in my life. Whatever you choose to do in terms of treatment, I wish you the absolute best!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

So good to hear

[@Smart44Lady]

Please… what meds.

[@soilgrasswaterair]

Studying psychology at university, made me understand the things behind a person’s behavior. I’m sorry you had to deal with all of those things during your formative years and please know none of it was your fault or responsbility, Abbey. Dealing with these things are brave and by actively working on it you’re breaking the cycle and your children won’t have to go through the same type of pressure that you did❤

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you that means a lot

[@hannahryan3535]

I got diagnosed five years ago at 28. Welcome to the late in life club! I’m a teacher and am making it my mission to ensure that females with ADHD get the support they need to thrive at every stage in life. The diagnosis gets easier to accept as time goes on. I had a long mourning period for the life that could have been if I’d known about my diagnosis easier. Keep doing what you’re doing - it’s a marathon not a sprint!

[@HelenAlemu]

Wish I could double like! I am applying to grad school to be a clinical psychologist and I love how open you are about your recent diagnosis. It would be amazing to see more of your journey with ADHD on your channel. Thanks Abbey! Obsessed with your channel!!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Yes I’ll share it it’s helpful

[@bugkaboom]

Abbey, I so relate to this! AuDHD gal in my mid 30s here too, working in healthcare and entrepreneurship (I am an occupational therapist and clinic/business owner) and I always found you so relatable so I am not suprised you are neurodivergent too. A lot of what you described here, the perfectionism, the vivid dreams, the juggling too many balls is so true for me too. But also we have strengths and abilities that neurotypicals do not - its so important to have a balanced conversation - we have strengths AND challenges. Welcome to the club and thank you for talking about this.

[@Katie_Bellll]

This video actually made me cry because your “annoying quirks” are things I experience every day. It drives people in my life nuts and always has. I feel really driven to seek help after this because I didn’t realize there could possibly be an explanation for the things I’ve felt my entire life

[@lizzj4507]

I love that you shared all of this!! I’ve been questioning whether I might also be ADHD and resonated with about 90% of what you talked about! I would love follow up videos about how you’re managing your ADHD (whether medication, supplements, meditation, whatever!) ❤

[@miriamraleigh]

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 32. I am relating to everything you're saying so much. I also have such vivid dreams that I remember completely the next day, usually offer more stress/anxiety when I wake up. Thank you for this video, I love your content and this vid has been so helpful.

[@keepingupwithkate5792]

Abbey, listening to your story sounds like me. I too, was just diagnosed with ADHD and it makes so much sense looking back.

[@KnitVenturous]

You just described my life, nearly to a T. I got diagnosed at 34, currently 35. I’ve gone down every rabbit hole I can about ADHD ever since. It’s inspired me to change careers and help others like us. It’s frustrating as hell, but I’ve also found my strengths, and it sounds like you have too. It’s a lot to take in, you’re doing great!!!

[@beckymurray80]

Thank you Abbey. I love your chatting-while-cooking style - you make it look very easy! My daughter has got herself diagnosed at 25 via a binge eating disorder counsellor and I’m so glad, as for a long time professionals were putting her behaviour down to trauma. I instinctively told them it was connected to her brain type, as her father eats in similar ways (can’t think food until he gets hangry and then can’t stop eating). She’s now on medication which seems to be helping.

[@Heatherrenee424]

Thank you again for your vulnerability. I relate to you on many levels as a mid 30 year old with similar issues. You’re much appreciated. 💗

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thank you🥰🥰

[@b_un_boxed]

Loving these posts about YOU! I was diagnosed fairly recently with ASD and there is a big crossover of symptoms with ADHD, and find these topics so interesting! 💜💫

[@rachelward8461]

Your experience sounds a lot like mine. I recently tried to get an ADHD diagnosis but was told that even though I have a lot of symptoms and family members with ADHD, I didn't fit the diagnosis because I didnt struggle in school as a kid. Instead I was told that I had depression, anxiety, and burnout. Which I already knew. Not super helpful. But I'm glad that you were able to get help!! 👏👏👏

[@TeahSpink-ei5mv]

you could find someone else, i don't think struggling in school as a kid is always required as long as there's just proof of symptoms as a kid or from age 12. i'm from nz though so it maybe different where you're from. that's very dismissive of them because adhd is highly genetic and some people do get through their childhood with sheer willpower. my mum was able to get diagnosed and she rarely failed anything but she would take more time, effort and developed a lot of side coping strategies and issues to cope. adhd actually isn't even a learning disorder, it's neurological and developmental but often effects learning which is why it's so often tied to schooling

[@sweetmaggi]

Abby, so much of this sounds like me... Thank you for sharing because I feel validated. It's so hard feeling like I'm crazy for all the anxiety and crazy head space that I've been experiencing. Thank you so much for being vulnerable with us. ❤ I feel able to seek help now.

[@somethingsburning774]

It sounds alot like me too but I have a procrastination issue with alot of things then I go into the anxiety routine

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Aw I’m glad, I hope you find what you need

[@sharon8374]

Love this video. You are my people. I spent my whole life fighting depression, trying every antidepressant known to man, none of which worked, mostly made me very sick. Years of therapy. At the ripe old age of 60, a counselor explained ADHD, how it is completely misunderstood and underdiagnosed in women. I have the inattentive type, not hyperactive. I tried meds and I gotta say it was nothing short of miraculous. The meds have changed my life. So yes to more ADHD, bring it on! Oh, and welcome to the family😂

[@polly1141]

Can I ask what medication helped? Thanks

[@meganstocking6538]

I relate with a lot what ypu shared, except for the fact that I'm in my early 30s without a business, a house, husband or kids, but everything else is still 100% the same for me 😅 mental health is a real thorn in the side. Best wishes on your journey ❤️

[@CmiZz333]

SO many relatable statements in this video!!!! And my past doc wouldn’t medicate me for my ADHD because I “did well in school” and you framing it the way you did really makes a great comeback for such a numbskull remark from my doc !

[@mowee-fafo]

I was diagnosed in my early 20s but my coping mechanisms did not start failing me until my late 30s/ early 40s. I started therapy just before Covid hit because I needed help with what I thought was just my coping mechanisms failing but then a nasty situation with a former boss during the pandemic… forced me to seek out help from a psychiatrist and I was then diagnosed with Moderate Anxiety and Depressive Disorder. Its been a hard battle in the last 3 years and I am still working on it. Thank you for being honest about this. I dont know how you can do all that you do. I only have myself to take care of and it’s hard. Good luck!

[@leniolesch896]

I am 32 and with diagnosed with autism this year. I still struggle to identify with that but at the same time it explains so so much of my suffering during my life. It feels like coming home. Thanks for being so open. This means a lot to so mich people.

[@LetsSingTheDoomSong]

How does someone in their 30s even start with getting that diagnosis? Did you reflect on your past, realize that the signs were there, and reach out to a doctor yourself to get diagnosed? Did you go into the appointment specifically saying you wanted to be assessed for possible autism? Just asking because my older brother is 38; everyone in the family suspects he is autistic (it 10000% explains his "black sheep" behavior our whole lives).

[@allieyates557]

Im a 33 year old who was also just formally diagnosed with ADHD and OCPD. They seem conflicting but it's such a relief to have it explained by a doctor and to have an answer to why my brain works the way it does! I really think the fact that i was born without a thyroid was sort of the 1st domino in my hormone disregulation and has a lot to do with my mental health. It's amazing to hear you describe my brain so accurately! 🧠

[@helenfua6778]

Oh my goodness you just hit the nail on the head!! I'm not diagnosed with ADHD but every single thing that you said to describe yourself applies to me. Except for the forgetfulness part, all my tasks and things to be done just remain on the forefront of my mind, further exacerbating my anxiety. Thank you for the video, I love your channel!

[@sandiegosunshine8006]

Thank you for sharing, making by us ADHDers feel less lonely ❤❤ I just found out I have it as a PhD student and it’s hard for ppl to believe bc I was a “straight A student” all the way through, but they have no idea no I hard I had to cope with it 😢

[@janinebakker3183]

Hey Abbey: I got my autism diagnosis as an adult. It was a struggle at first, but knowing this made me a stronger and better person. You will find a way to become an even more amazing version of yourself❤

[@snicolek6590]

Wow! I've been diagnosed with ADHD for 28 years, but now I'm fairly certain I have OCPD too! My perfectionism and people pleasing has given me vestibular migraines. I've been seeing a dizzy coach for them and it really helps. It can also cause a lot of other health issues like IBS and back pain. So yeah, I totally feel you in this video! I feel like you were describing me to T!

[@diktromdefilm]

Oh wow you just opened my eyes. This is me. Exactly my life story. Now things are falling into place! Thank you!❤

[@xiomararosado5326]

OMG, I was just diagnosed with ADHD at 37. I thought I had bipolar disorder my entire adult life and even took meds for it for the last 15 years, all while self-medicating with alcohol. (Currently crying while I type this.) I’ve never felt so simultaneously cheated and validated as when my doctor went through his notes with me last week. It also explains my disordered eating habits! I genuinely and deeply appreciate you, Abby, for sharing your experience. It's been a balm to my emotional sunburn. Thank you for being authentic and true to yourself-it gives me the courage and inspiration to do the same in my life.

[@Sinbadizzy]

Thank you for sharing this. Recently diagnosed with both ADHD and OCPD myself and still trying to understand it all.

[@micaellucas2877]

OMG, I can not mention enough how much I love u for opening up about this!

[@kelseychizmar2330]

Thank you so much for opening up about this! Our story is identical, and I stumbled upon your video while in the middle of an ADHD meltdown (overwhelmed, overstimulated) and it’s EXACTLY what I needed to hear right now ❤️

[@blandinem.4675]

I'm 34 and just got diagnosed with AuDHD. The reasons for women getting a late diagnosis that you mentioned make SO much sense. I also gave birth during the pandemic. Having that support system crumble and also having to home school my eldest (with some pretty obvious adhd red flags there that I don't know how his teachers missed!) meant my coping mechanisms didn't work anymore. Also it turns out I hate people and when i didn't have to be around them anymore I felt so much better 🤣🤣 anyway great video. I just brought your book and the intro about diet culture is gold. Thanks for everything I love your content so much

[@sleepypanda8435]

I feel like you are describing my life. It’s so nice to know I’m not alone. I’m 39 and was diagnosed w adhd a year or 2 ago

[@Pygmypuff528]

I was 28 when I was diagnosed and I felt so much relief! I thought I was lazy and it turns out that I was extremely burned out from forcing myself to focus for years. Thank you for making this video, it’s so validating to hear someone else’s story. 😊

[@thegastroparesisgoofball1030]

Hi! I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism at 26 years old. It explains so much for me as well. I tried medications but found that I actually prefer my slightly chaotic brain… just my personal preference 🤷‍♀️😁 Hope you’re journey of understanding goes well!

[@erintottenham4561]

This was an excellent video and details a lot of the nuance in the diagnostic criteria of ADHD. I’m 45, female, high functioning and perfectionistic but have recognized how my coping skills have started to fail with kids, work, responsibilities. Plus seeing potential ADHD in my children, I am having a mid-life “aha” about myself. Thanks again! Super relatable!

[@Talana477]

That's exactly how I felt when I got my ADHD diagnosis too. Its like everything finally clicked into place and everything i struggled with throughout life finally made sense.

[@GenB-s4j]

I was diagnosed last autumn and started taking medication in December. It's been a game changer! I can now focus on my tasks and my anxiety level has decreased significantly (less intrusive thoughts). I'm so much happier!

[@breem2999]

I'm 39 and I have an ADHD assessment in 2 months. I'm so nervous! I'm scared I'll get dismissed or not believed, like all the other health professionals I've spoken to about it have acted so far, and that not being diagnosed will verify my worst fear that I'm just imagining I'm neurodivergent and all my issues are just me not being good at being responsible, organized, motivated, etc. I'm excited to look at the research links in the description and have more data and support for my assessment.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Such a valid concern. Really hoping things go well🤞🏻

[@wa6184]

That sounds almost like you WANT to have ADHD and prepare yourself to guide your assessment to have a certain outcome. Idk what's part of the assessment but I urge you to keep an open mind to be accurately diagnosed.

[@breem2999]

@@wa6184 I suggest you read the other reply where someone says they had the same fears going into their assessment. I don't WANT to have any specific diagnosis. But I know myself and I have done extensive research. I want my struggles and my issues to be explained by something instead of just being my character flaws, like Abbey discussed. Imagine being told your whole life that you're lazy, irresponsible, anxious, miserable, ditzy, unmotivated, etc. That language gets to you after decades. Then imagine realizing it may just be the way your brain is wired and it's not your fault. I understand what you're saying. I know how to be objective. But I also know when medical professionals are being dismissive based on ignorance or bias.

[@breem2999]

@@galeanomassage That's so great to hear. I'm glad you got help from someone who was knowledgeable and really saw and listened to you. That makes me hopeful. I'm curious at how your life has changed in the time since you received your diagnosis.

[@betterworld2958]

​@@breem2999despite having ADHD and being medicated or not, in therapy one can develop coping skills to deal with the issues you describe. It may be helpful to find a good therapist.

[@JJ_Smilez]

Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable. I can relate to most of this heavily! I did a 4 hour assessment and they found I do not meet the criteria. And that’s ok. I think women sharing their experiences is important. We need more voices out there 😊

[@martinapetakova1835]

Abbey, thank you. I have never heard of OCPD, but I found myself in your words so much and they have really inspired me to seek help.

[@PsiLuisa]

I am a Psychologist and I have been diagnosed at 31. Crazy how I never noticed the symptoms were part of ADHD. I decided to get tested after my brother was tested and my mother as well. Yep- we’re all neurodivergent! And it explains so much!!! Ps- modern celebrities with the diagnosis ok, but Graham Bell, Leonardo da Vinci, Mozart, Thomas Edison… I don’t know, it might be quite a stretch to do the diagnosis centuries later without actually knowing them in person… just my thoughts 🤓

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Lol that’s fair. That’s just what I read!

[@MichelleK1]

This is speculation. Abbey said that they may have been neurodivergent. Not specifically having ADHD. I have heard that Einstein may have had autism but because of the times, he wouldn't have been diagnosed.

[@SS-in1ts]

🙏 I feel less alone. Thank you for sharing. Stay strong.

[@KeraR432]

Not ADHD/neurospicy that I’m aware of, but I’m on an ADHD stimulant for my sleep disorder and it’s truly been life changing. I’m actually awake and (when I’m not distracted) alert, and my head is INCREDIBLY quiet. Like, I can think without having ten million other things going on in there! It helps keep me from that same “remember-forget” cycle you spend a lot of time in, so it might be a good thing to try! The one downside of the meds is that they really don’t sit well with me if I don’t time it right with my breakfast, but I’m learning to manage!

[@ilianab26]

hi there, I would be open-minded to the suggestion that it seems like you could possibly have adhd.

[@staceylynch9751]

Thank you for talking about ADHD. Just one thing - ADHD is not a learning disability. ADHD a neurodevelopmental disorder. It affects the brain and nervous system, like all neurological disorders, but it also affects brain development and is present at birth. As you're learning, there's so much more to it than the "hyper little boy" stereotypes. Executive Dysfunction is the major struggle for many. Calling it a learning disorder does it a disservice. ❤

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Yes I know! That was just what my prior assumption was before I was diagnosed

[@MeloniousThunk]

I’m glad you know better now, Abbey! I think they are referring to 1:50 when you said that because you did very well in school that “never ever ever did it cross my mind that I had a learning disability like ADHD.” Honestly, as someone who was also diagnosed as an adult I found it jarring too. Still, I’m happy to have someone like you with a platform who is committed to educating the public on science and debunking junk science and fads, and is eager to learn and willing to correct these misconceptions 😊

[@rachel2502]

Hi Abbey. I am so impressed at your study strategies as a young student. What a clever way to acknowledge how your brain works and adapting to your needs. Another person might have tried to study like the other kids and just thought they were “stupid” when it didn’t work. That’s great! Welcome to the neurodivergent club. My daughter is dyslexic, and possibly autistic, and I am amazed by her brain every day. Yes, she struggled with learning multiplication tables and traditional reading is not her fave, but her unique ability to see patterns and tell stories is a marvel. I am so lucky to know her.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Your daughter sounds incredible

[@cassandradevine4752]

I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago in my 30s too, and I also did very well academically as a child because school is a very structured environment that makes it easier to manage my symptoms. Thanks for speaking out and I hope this encourages more women and girls to get diagnosed.

[@samanthasnyder2140]

The timing of this video is just a big wow for me - thank you Abbey for your vulnerability!!

[@MaggieMay1013]

I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 20s, and it was a revelation. I was finishing my doctoral degree at the time, and I finally hit a wall. For the first time in my life, I couldn’t compensate for my ADHD. Getting a diagnosis helped me make sense of so many things in my life that I never understood. So much of my anxiety and low self-esteem was related to my ADHD. I take a stimulant now, and I’ve learned a lot of skills and strategies to help manage my ADHD symptoms. I’m really grateful there is such a growing awareness about ADHD in girls and women.

[@alysmansfield]

I haven’t gone to get a diagnosis yet because I have lingering fear of being a burden by spending money on ANYTHING, even my own mental/physical health because I grew up poor and we could barely afford essential doctor visits. I have good health insurance now, but it’s still a mental block, lol. But this video was so validating in so many ways to how I’ve been feeling my whole life. Part of me is scared that if I do go and end up not being diagnosed, then it will be true that I’ve always been bad and lazy and that everything I’ve struggled with is completely my fault including my tendency toward EDs and my history being abused due to people-pleasing. However, after listening to your experience, it makes me a little less anxious about it and I would LOVE more videos on the subject, and how you currently cope without medication. I’d love tips ❤️

[@bycdbema]

Abbey, 3 months ago I was also diagnosed with ADHD and some AS. I also got prescribed medication and it’s kind of very emotional for me…because, yes, it explains a lot IN EVERYTHING of my life…also on my eating and how impulsive I was with snacking and how much I ate. And yes, as you, I never thought that this was something real. I was a straight A student, wasn’t overly active child, and I tried to over compensate my whole life and had the idea that it was “normal” and that everyone had this hurricane in their heads. But this year my head felt in an overload. Felt so drained, overwhelmed and had to ask for help and SURPRISE, got diagnosed. I totally relate to your journey. It’s great hearing other women’s stories. Thank you for sharing.

[@kea4]

Wow, this is so relatable. What you describe is so very close to what I have been coping with. Thank you for sharing your experience, it really helps!

[@stacyhadley7224]

I was diagnosed at 38. I have ADHD and a learning disability. ADHD is not considered learning disability. I’m so glad you figured it out. So difficult!

[@tiffyburrybaby]

I was diagnosed last year at 27 and everything makes sense! The burnout is only just healing but I'm so thankful I'm caring for myself in MY way, not the way society says I should. Thank you for this vid!

[@NaomieYourHomie]

Glad you finally got your diagnosis! Thank you for your vulnerability. I feel blessed that I received my ADHD diagnosis at 23/24 [turned 30 last year; along with anxiety and depression; both seemed to present first]. The term i like to use for us ADHDers overlooked due to being high-mark receivers is twice exceptional [2e; learned from HowToADHD YT channel; taught my therapist and he loves it]. I recommend her channel if you get time.[perfectionist in my wording, writing, etc; less so organization on large scale] Alot you said hit hard. TYSM I'll go deeper/vulnerable when i finally make my first YT video on my journey. prob one of my first videos i'll make. I'd love a video on like food to limit with ADHD and food good for it as well.

[@ValoryiSage]

Welcome to the club ❤ I was diagnosed at age 4. I was a very anxious child....restless, hyperactive...and I had my first panic attack at 4 also.

[@jillianj310]

It's so interesting to hear all of this. First of all, thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. I have suspected that I have adhd for a few years now, but I don't really know where to start with diagnosis, if it matters to even get diagnosed... It started to become more apparent after my second was born and about a year in I realized I was really depressed so my doctor wanted to address that first, but kind of brushed off my wondering if it could be adhd. I get that the depression (and anxiety) was more alarming and first priority, but it's been over a year now and I feel a lot better, but I definitely still struggle in certain areas of my life. So hearing people get diagnosed in their mid/late 30's (like me) is really eye opening and helpful.

[@wordplastic]

Thanks for sharing your story. Another 30s-diagnosed woman here! I've found so much relief FINALLY now that I'm medicated, but the regret that it took so long and I could have avoided so many years of feeling broken is hard to deal with. Especially with all the signs that were so obvious in retrospect but that no one picked up on because, like you, I was such a high-achieving, well-behaved (but anxious!) kid.

[@lil4282]

Knew it Abbiee!!!! knew I was here for a reason other than your amazing food positivity, we GRAVITATE to each other hahaha! I went from being the "overachieving but constantly burnt out slightly weird kid who didn't respect authority" to "oh hey maybe I have adhd" last year and early this year. Flash forward, and through a process of conversations with fellow AuDHD'ers, research and discovery + formal diagnosis, I'm now a late diagnosed ADHDer awaiting an assessment for autism. It's fkn lifechanging! It was never picked up because I got dopamine from school and good marks, and I've been smart enough to always perform really well academically, not to mention what I think is the overlap of autism covers some of the more obvious traits like messiness or chaos. Having a reason for why I put my phone in the fridge and forget about it, have lost multiple expensive things, zone out in conversations, find myself getting depressed when bored and am chronically exhausted from just trying to focus is insane. I've started medication and (although its been a bit of a rocky road - was really sensitive to the first med I tried and got super depressed) the dose and type I am on now make life soooooooooooooooooo much better!!!! I'm so unbelievably proud to be neurodivergent, I think we are the coolest fkn community (and most of the people in my life are so clearly also neurodivergent). We are so interesting, clever, our brains work in insane ways and I love it. Thankyou for talking about this because people sharing openly about their lived experience is the only way I found my way to this place. I'm soooo happy you've found your way here - and I really hope you're able to unpack some of the challenges with anxiety, insomnia and mood issues that may be related to your lack of diagnosis prior. For context, I was also "informally" diagnosed with OCD by a psychologist, prior to realising it's probably AuDHD! LOVE your work, hope this is game changing in the best way ever. (This paragraph brought to you by unnamed adhd medication and hyperfocus!)

[@stephaniesotebeer975]

Seriously SO thankful that you were willing to share this vulnerable video with us! 🤍 My husband was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and it changed. his. LIFE. And mine! Because now I understand why he sometimes leaves the milk on the counter and walks away. 😮‍💨 We have a daughter who sounds EXACTLY like you, and a son was was diagnosed with autism a year ago (which he actually got from ME. I had no idea until his diagnosis. So, so validating!) I’d definitely love to watch more ADHD content from your channel since my daughter’s symptoms are so different from her Dad’s but SO similar to yours! Thanks again for sharing. All of your neurodivergent fans are smiling! 😂🎉 #welcometotheclub

[@christianawalter16]

Neuro-spicy fan here! This is such an interesting journey that I really relate to. I actually have NVLD - the one nobody's ever heard of - but there are some definite similarities. I totally identify with both hyperfocusing and zoning out in a completely uncontrollable way. I also carried around a lot of anxiety at a young age and 100% feel the constant state of anxiety over all the things I've forgotten or may forget to do...Although I was diagnosed as a child which is a very different story from yours, this video is really helpful to me because I'm still really coming to terms with who I am as an adult and what that looks like. And focusing on the positives is crucial, you're right to lean into that. You have a brain that is unlike a lot of people, and that means it can do things other people can't. That may sound cocky to some, but a lot of us neurodiverse folks have been incredibly hard on ourselves for most of our lives so we need a little self-esteem boost!

[@simonelees8328]

I got diagnosed with adhd ay 25, 27 now, and its so validating and helpful to understand your brain!!

[@mx8357]

For 6 years I had anorexia nervosa, then for 6 years I had binge eating disorder (ED free for many years now). I just got diagnosed with ADHD 3 days ago as a 28 year old. Everything makes SO MUCH SENSE NOW….. I’m going to read more literature about adhd and eating disorders. I feel like I finally feel valid and understood.

[@kyleecarpenter7719]

I'm so excited to view this. My husband has ADHD and was diagnosed a couple years ago...we are both almost 29. Its been really challenging for us and has interfered with so many aspects of our life. We're on the path to see what can help him more everyday!

[@skincraftorganicsllc8537]

I'm almost 65 and have suspected I've had it my entire life. Don't despair, and don't feel like it's an ailment or a disability! I suspect MANY, MANY people have it to some degree or another - some people just learn to handle & manage it better than others. I found, a long time ago, using a daily list (actually USING it and STICKING to it, rather than just making it and forgetting to use it) is pivotal for me. Learning to prioritize things and learning to say "NO" to myself and others so that I don't overextend myself has been immensely helpful. I've also come to realize that my environment being neat & tidy helps my mind be more neat & tidy. Everyone is different - but each person needs to be BRUTALLY HONEST with themselves and set up rules that protect them from becoming overwhelmed. Be realistic about what you can really accomplish in a day, a week, etc... don't lie to yourself. If you need to hire someone, DO IT. We humans are all works in progress - whether we're dealing with ADHD or another issue in life, we all need to be creative and figure out ways to deal with those issues. :)

[@21972012145525]

I cannot for the life of me clean until guests are showing up. Yet I can function in a non clean environment either. Idk what to do anymore

[@sarahrushton8154]

And hugs to you. So hard masking all of our lives

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Hugs back❤

[@kaleydyer4981]

OMG, I feel this sooo hard, especially your example of checking an email and feeling almost in a "dream-like" state. Wow!

[@vickiannmalenga]

I'm 30 and ADHD content online has been blowing my mind. Everything suddenly makes sense!! It is so eye opening and surreal that there's a reason behind every aspect of my personality. I have answers now for all my struggles.

[@mendicantcrow]

I'm also in this cohort of 30 something women whose coping strategies are no longer able to hide her neurodivergence. I cant afford formal diagnosis yet, but my doctor and therapist have confirmed they suspect ADHD and Autism. I had never heard of OCPD, but that also sounds a lot like me. I've heard other adults talk about neurodivergecies as 'labels that hang over us,' causing us so much weight. But for me it has absolutely been the opposite. Like you said, it has helped me feel less constantly guilty. It gives me the tools to explain my situation better and request the accommodations I appreciate. And it is helping me rebuild my life in a way that fits me better.

[@morena6717]

Thank you so much for sharing this! This resonates so much with me, EVERY SINGLE WORD! Receiving a diagnosis is SO validating!

[@allisonburany8724]

I am 62 and this sounds like me to a T. I realised that I have had same type of behaviours. Thank you for being so open because this has helped me understand and relate.

[@courtney7076]

Thanks for sharing, mine is inattentive ADHD. I think it helps people to share your journey.

[@lindsayneal1489]

Yes me also. Inattentive type not hyperactive. I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2021 after my two teens were diagnosed! Also have insomnia and depression. Many of us have comorbidites as well! Meds help! Thanks for telling us and welcome to the neurospicy world!

[@taradevito6751]

My daughter recently got diagnosed with adhd (age 8), and all of the characteristics she talked about describes my childhood and difficulties I had/have. I am high functioning adult but clearly came up with strategies to get through it. Now I want to figure out if I have it. Thanks for sharing and would love to hear more ❤

[@mariee.5912]

Abby, my son has ADHD, and I am in the psychology field and I think I have ADHD too. I just want to tell you that you're very well informed and that you got this. I follow How to ADHD for support.

[@MetSpace04]

Flattered to have been cited! And I have ADHD too! Keep up the good work!

[@ksteinerSF]

I’ve been seeing this video pop up in my feed for months… and only just now did I finally have the attention bandwidth to watch it. 😂 I was diagnosed at 27 when I had an incredibly demanding job, and I too was RELIEVED to finally have an understanding of causality for my struggles. But I was handling everything like a champ! Cut to today: I’m a stay at home mom to two 4.5 year olds and I can barely handle laundry and cooking and tidying, even with medication. Responding to an email?? I don’t know her.

[@thunderstorm__8147]

I absolutely love this video. As an ADHD person i really relate to most things you said. Thank you for doing this! You're always very helpful

[@mariafernandavazquez4977]

Hi Abbey! I started watching your videos two years ago because I have PCOS but it took some time to get my diagnosis because my weight is normal. I felt seen and understood with your PCOS videos and gave me so much relief to find someone who could relate to that. Last year I was also diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 25 after failing in school for the first time ever in my life. My life was just a mess and chaos and I felt so much shame because I was always a straight As student. Thank you for sharing your diagnoses with us and making us feel less alone and also for inspiring me to keep going and knowing I can be successful while also having a disability and some hormonal issues. Your recipes also helped me to keep my PCOS on check and I guess it’s because you also have ADHD that I find them incredibly helpful and easy. I also came upon a lot of info about women with ADHD and PCOS. Maybe there’s some correlation that we will see in the future. Anyways, thank you so much Abbey. You are doing amazing and keep going🫶🏻

[@abigailvanr]

I am 50 and was just diagnosed with ADHD a couple of months ago. I do have GAD and had never found a medication that fully quieted my internal negative talk and worrying. Now I'm on Vyvanse and it really does just that. I was skeptical when my psych said it would do that but she was 100% correct. Also, one of the reasons she even evaluated me is that both of my kids have ADHD diagnoses and it seems pretty clear to me that other close family members do as well. My one tip that you can take or leave (obviously!) is that the sooner you can get your kids assessed and learning strategies and accommodations to help them with school the better! Welcome to the club. :)

[@21972012145525]

How do you get a iep or 504 plan to cover tutoring?

[@LP-zc4gy]

Same! The first day I took Vyvanse, I cried, because it finally felt like my thoughts weren’t going a million miles a minute. I could finally use some of the coping mechanisms for my anxiety because I could clearly identify my thoughts.

[@BC-np8cb]

@@21972012145525 I'm a junior high teacher and my understanding of it is that the parent or guardian needs to take the student to a medical professional for evaluation for 504s (or get academic screener tests as well as medical evaluations for IEPs). Sometimes the medical professional will give parents a survey to give to teachers and staff who work with the student. Teachers will fill this survey out and return it so that the doctor can get an idea of what behaviors are happening at school. School counselors can assist in this process, but it usually needs to be a communication between the doctor, parent/guardian, and school counselors. 504s are for medical accommodations and they are noted in the students records in the school database. EIPs are usually a more complex procedure that outline special learning needs and goals and are accompanied by extra testing and progress monitoring. Usually a special education teacher is involved in IEPs. But to get the process started, it is best for parents/guardians to speak witha doctor and the school counselor and let them know the concerns you have with learning/school so they can get the 504 or IEP process started if needed. I'm not a counselor or Special Education teacher so I could be missing some information. This is just what I have seen of the process in my experience.

[@lsiddal3742]

This spoke to me so much - I showed your video to my husband and he was like "OMG THIS IS YOU" 😂I'm 29 and have been wondering for a while if I could have ADHD, but kept pushing those thoughts away because in many ways I'm hyper organised, really focused on controlling and ordering things... I'm now realising that this may be a combination of my OCD and massively overcompensating for my ADHD symptoms!

[@kimgrandy_art_]

Hello, I was 56 when I was diagnosed. It was a very comforting diagnosis because it made my experience make sense. All the pieces now fit.

[@badraster7909]

Thank you so much for sharing about this, Abbey! I have been going through a similar journey, except for me it’s autism and I fell apart and got diagnosed in my early 20s. I’m sure I’m not alone in that I’d LOVE to see more neurospicy content from you! Another great youtuber, I’m Austisic Now What?, does meme/tiktok reactions and that might be a fun break type of video :)

[@vaultlife7110]

I got diagnosed this year at 39 after 18 years of being misdiagnosed as Bipolar 2. Im glad you got your diagnosis!

[@eliezerkraiman414]

Hey Abbey. I have high functioning autism and although it's different than ADHD I can definitely relate to your struggles with being neurodivergent. My best friend has ADHD and high functioning autism and I can see some of those traits that you mentioned in him. He needs medication in order to function and be productive. So it's interesting to see how everyone is different when it comes to how they manage their symptoms. I believe that like autism ADHD is a spectrum. Thank you for sharing about your diagonals, I really appreciate it when people are open about their mental health struggles.

[@cookie-dough-fox69]

I have a very strong suspicion that ADHD and ASD people are attracted to each other.

[@jessd0223]

My ADHD presents very similar to Abbey’s, so I’m very appreciative of her sharing her story. I was diagnosed at 27, but suspected something was wrong for a long time. I also masked symptoms by being a perfectionist, and 1000% relate to OCPD. I will say though, I felt a huge relief when I got my diagnosis, but a few weeks later I was a train wreck. There is often a grieving process for all the time lost by getting diagnosed late in life, so take time to process ❤

[@juals89]

Thank you, Abbey, for sharing this personal topic. My son was diagnosed with ADHD and he's only 9 years old. It's difficult to understand how his mind operates because he's so young and doesn't really know how to explain it to us. This video gives a bit of insight on how he may be feeling.

[@summerdais325]

❤️ Me, too, Abbey. 49 years old. ASD eval is coming up, but they're without question. My heart goes out to you. Lol 😂I want to talk to you so badly!! ANYONE who is getting diagnoses later in life. ETA: ;I feel broken. I also had two significant TBIs and numerous concussions. I have had numerous diagnoses, but this is a far more refined diagnosis. My ADHD and anxiety play off each other. ASD, ADHD, GAD, PTSD, OCPD, EDNOS (I realize), severe insomnia, MDD, etc. I am only now starting to understand myself at 49. If anyone needs someone else to share "unflattering " things about themselves, I will. I don't want YOU to feel alone in this or less than.

[@TelainaMuir]

Thank you for sharing this and bringing light to such an important topic! 😊 The next thing you might research in your neurodiverse hyperfocus is the use of "high" and "low" functioning labels.

[@balancedbeinghealing]

Thank you for sharing! I work with children and adults with anxiety related disorders like ADHD and OCPD. The good news is that you’re able to “people please,” which a lot of clients who have OCPD cannot do - they are rigid with their rules and treatment resistant (specifically to exposure therapy) and have to use other means like ketamine therapy or intensive RO-DBT programs. It seems you’re able to manage it with a lot of grace and flexibility. I’m glad the diagnoses have felt like reliefs - thank you for educating your audience.

[@audreybringgold6217]

Awwweee the wittle abbey pics. What a cute kid you were

[@AdrienneZazulak]

Welcome to the club Abbey! I am actually starting a postgrad program for LD and mental health in September (online at Cambrian!). I am on meds and they really help. And look up Irlen lenses. I also have dyscalculia, so it helps with both. I almost doubled my typing wpm! (for context)

[@krushkannon]

i was diagnosed right before i turned 21 (literally the month before) after i mentioned some traits of inattentive adhd to my psychiatrist. he had me tested and lo and behold, everything made sense. my parents don't believe me, but hearing your story makes me realize that i'm not making things up. thank you for the vulnerability

[@madddoll8685]

Did not realize you were my age! I was diagnosed a couple of years ago at 34! What a whirlwind. Unfortunately because of another condition I have, stimulant medication is not an option for me. I have tried some medication and it was night and day! It literally SHUSHED my brain and let me focus. Some of the most complex things people don't seem to know about when it comes to ADHD (in adults and women specifically) is that emotional regulation is a huge struggle for us. For me the worst is the impulsivity, overeating, impatience, and distractibility. These have real consequences that affect our lives (mostly negatively). I think we all have a rollercoaster of feelings when we first get diagnosed - there is a sadness, a frustration that it took so long, a sense of relief, finding community is nice. It explains so much... and yet, it cannot be used as an excuse because our world is ableist and capitalist. Really important to touch on the way our medical system and psychiatry are patriarchal systems when talking about ADHD/depression & anxiety - but that's another tangent. People love our hyperfocus and ability to create cool stuff, but can't handle us a lot of the time when we are burned out or irritable. Therapy, exercise, and eating well all really help though =)

[@rachelfishbein1478]

Omg samesies. Diagnosed last week at 31 with very similar traits along with social anxiety disorder. I really hope with the increased incidence of women in their 30s getting diagnosed with ADHD, doctors will get better at identifying these traits in young girls and catching it earlier. Fun fact: ADHD testing is not covered by health insurance in the US. It's $3000 out of pocket. That is madness.

[@Victoria-ms3jb]

I just love to hear when people find the correct diagnosis and are able to talk about it and work on it