Why "Fat" Movie Characters Made You Afraid to Gain Weight (Hear me out!!)

Hey everyone I’m Abbey Sharp welcome to Abbey’s Kitchen. In todays video, we will be talking about how popular media has shaped our society's perspective on gaining weight and society's fear and disgust with people who are "fat".
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[@Miaow610]

To be fair, Devil Wears Prada is showing how ridiculous and toxic the fashion world's fatphobia is.. I think it's even more insidious and harmful when characters are self-depricating about their own appearance as that sort of passes under the radar and it subconsciously affirms our own negative self-judgement

[@surfsup4019]

I love this movie but they still glamorise the new Andy. I still wanted to be like her after the makeover. Like she goes back to being a bit less fashionable but she doesn’t gain weight back, etc in the end.

[@Miaow610]

That's true, that bothers me about 'makeovers' too. (Not as bad as what they did to her in the Princess Diaries haha) I think because she's clearly not herself and not happy while she has the glamourous look in DWP the message still stands as, like you said, when she's truly happy and most herself at the end her look is much more relaxed and toned down

[@clarab6092]

Yeah, that might be true. However, for me personally what Abbey said was true. I watched Devil wears Prada when I was an underage teen. I have an eating disorder that has shifted from anorexia to binging to bulimia. It's never been super severe, but I always had extreme trouble accepting myself if I didn't match the typical female beauty standard. This movie, despite implicitly ridiculing the fashion industry's claim that only everyone below size 4 is skinny, made me feel like my size 6 was "overweight" or "huge". Why did it make me feel like that? Because Anne Hathaway was SO skinny for me that I couldn't get it in my head how anyone could even THINK that she was fat. And I mean....it's the reality. People in the fashion industry are really told they're too fat if they're size 6+. Being extremely insecure about myself, this made me think that these people in the movie existed somewhere in the real world, and that they must know something I don't know. After all, they're "experts" on good looks, right? The movie did definitely leave an impression on me, further cementing my belief that I was still "too big" with my own size 6. So judging from today's perspective, I find the movie problematic for young, insecure women or girls. Unfortunately, that's exactly the target group of that film. So I totally share Abbey's criticism on that movie. It's well made and well acted, that's not it. But it's still triggering and potentially sending unhealthy messages that are dangerous for certain people.

[@Miaow610]

@@clarab6092 I can totally understand that, I get why it would have had such a negative impact for you. It's interesting how movies affect people in different ways. I too dealt with anorexia throughout my teenage years, and for me , watching it actually made me reflect on just how unhealthy and unrealistic these 'standards' were. The whole 'diet' Emily had of basically eating nothing until she was about to faint.. it made me see how extreme my own attitude towards food was (I won't go into numbers/details, it was bad..). Maybe it just got me at the 'right' time and had I watched it at my worst, it might have been really detrimental. So yeah, I don't really disagree with Abbey's point either. Hope you're in a better place now 💜

[@joceeeeh]

I LOVE Devil Wears Prada, but I got traumatized when they were making fun of her for being a size 6 when I was also a size 6 like wtf. I absolutely love your videos Abbey, thank you for breaking the mold that we desperately needed.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

:) right?! so toxic

[@mariahhuehner1196]

@@AbbeysKitchen Yeah, and even though I get that they were trying to show it's absurd, they still idealize it and make it an admirable goal. So it doesn't really have the critical effect it should have. Ugly Betty is similar. Yes, the point is that this is all absurd (like Liz Lemon being "fat") because Hollywood and fashion ideals are way outside the average. But they still use it as a punchline and ultimately it doesn't subvert anything.

[@toomuchpassion2361]

I view it as a huge badge of honor that I successfully made it through the 2000's and 2010's without once developing an eating disorder. And know that as a fat girl, this did not happen by accident. I had to actively fight against all the messages being thrown at me, some of them coming from my own mother, that being skinny was everything.

[@starberry22]

hmmm 🧐🧐

[@kyssedbyfyre915]

SAME! I survived the 80s fitness craze AND a father who commented on my body as a child! At age 10 "Michelle is getting fat" when I hit 110lbs and got curves & started my period.

[@d.annejohnson5631]

@@kyssedbyfyre915 So how is your weight and health now?

[@someone8323]

You lost me at “as a fat girl”. I don’t know how fat you are but it’s incredibly unhealthy to be obese. As someone who lost 80 lbs twice, I know the ill effects of excess body weight, specifically body fat. You don’t need to be skinny to be healthy but you need to nourish yourself without overconsumption and keep your body moving every day. Consuming excessive amounts of calories is unhealthy and gluttonous.

[@DramaGeek1225]

I rewatched Ugly Betty recently. The show is critical of the beauty standards placed on women. In the context of the show, the scene you used is meant to demonstrate how Betty is being mistreated because her boss is being a jerk and trying to get her to quit. You aren't supposed to side with the people laughing at her. Throughout the course of the show, it's mostly the mean characters who comment on her size. Her family and friends are supportive of her and don't criticize her weight. Even when she starts to change her style to be taken more seriously, she never goes on a diet or talks about needing to lose weight. She just upgrades her clothes to a more professional wardrobe while still keeping her favorite colors and patterns. I really like Betty's arch through the series. I don't think a single scene is enough to say the show didn't age well.

[@11clairelouise]

I was literally going to say the same thing1

[@isabellaw.6330]

yes but if you are sensitive to these topics it is still triggering that stuff like this is said as all. it still gives "people tink that way, will see me that way". doesn't matter if they are the meanies (think people pleasing). when I was anorexic I read books about ed recovery to trigger myself with the descriptions of how worse the conditions are getting and the moral of the story (recovery is good) just slipped through my brain.

[@karenwatson9180]

I remember watching Bridget Jones and shocked how she was thought of as fat. It really affected me at the time and made me feel self conscious about my own weight. Some of the other examples you used also had resulted in same feeling. I appreciate you highlighting this issue.

[@jinglebats7862]

I hate how if someone falls in love with an overweight person in a movie (which very rarely happens) its always a story about them 'seeing past' their physical body and falling for their personality. Like nobody could ever find an overweight person physically attractive! 🙄 x

[@cathy2142]

Shallow hal i thinkit was with jack black. Wasnt that one where she was fat but he saw her thin

[@diana2063]

I will never forget that scene when Samantha is attacked for her "gut". It's emblazoned in my memory. That's what my stomach looks like, and has always looked like, despite a low-cal high-protein diet and regular high-octane exercise. I have never shown my stomach outside my own house since I saw that, though I just now realized that I could draw a straight line to that scene. UGH.

[@Diana-qp2rw]

Same. I have a very similar body, eat well, and work out. It’s just how my body is. If I wanted a perfectly flat stomach, I had to go down to a very unhealthy weight, but I felt so bad about my body when I watched that scene.

[@amberkeever8565]

Oh my gosh, as the fat friend/sister/girl (born 1985) this resonated so much. I was the only girl in our friend group not to get rated on the boy’s “hotness scale” via a sister of two of the boys because of my size. I believe it made me a better person, and when I got my hormones under control, shed a lot of weight, those same idiots all asked me out. I turned them down flatly as I was still the same person thin as I was chubby. I’m married to an amazing man who loves me as my body fluctuates, thank you PCOS and thyroid imbalance 😘 We’ve built a wonderful life and I’m thankful for the struggle because it made me realize I deserve so much more than people too stupid to see my heart can give me. Great video Abby 🫂

[@chaaaargh]

thank you for speaking on this, you hit the nail on the head with every point. what sucks is that these tropey and stereotypical harmful portrayals are pretty prevalent in media today still, but the 90's and 2000's were on a completely different level of wrong 😭

[@AbbeysKitchen]

definitely.

[@99leadpencils]

Similar to the skewed female body types labeled as fat, I'd also like to add in the very thin female body types that are protrayed as strong. Where are the broad backs, thick thighs and rippling shoulder/arm muscles on female characters that are supposed to be physically strong. Yes they are toned, but is it just coincidence that every female superhero is a "sleeper" body type? Or their power is due to some magical source of strength so that the actual actor can still be portrayed by some very thin actor? I celebrated when I saw Cara Dune in Mandalorian on screen. Finally a physically strong female character who actually looks like she could deadlift a tractor trailer and isn't there to just look hot.

[@NoisyHill_]

Yesss, so true! Women have to fit in a tight mold.. not too thin, not too fat, but also not too muscular..🙄

[@Diana-qp2rw]

True!

[@favouro6344]

Arrow is so problematic for this. The actually strong looking female character was written off the show. Stopped watching after that

[@amandah8258]

I saw so many kids cartoons that used this trope growing up and it honestly really impacted me.

[@lisag2648]

Thank you so much for this video! I was fatshamed this summer 3 times, and I am a size 8. As a survivor of anorexia this got me spiralizing a bit but people like you get me back on track! Honestly thank you!

[@kellyreadingbooks]

I grew up as a heavier kid and still am considered obese and honestly I was terrified to watch movies like Matilda and kids tv or movies where the fat kid was portrayed as a bully or “gross”. I definitely internalized that growing up and it makes me sad to think how genuinely fearful I was as a child seeing this portrayed on tv.

[@doggo-mom]

I had never realized how big of an effect media's portrayal of bigger bodies had on my self-esteem. My journey with my weight has been a struggle because I get stuck in mindsets that I am disgusting or unworthy because I am fat. But now that you mention it, I likely adopted media portrayals as my own views of myself. It's scary how much media can affect us without us even noticing.

[@jorbearftw8270]

I’m LOVING the passion in this video because absolutely every point is so accurate. Thank you for the work you do, Abbey.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

You're so welcome!

[@sehersings2543]

I literally relate to this so much! Friends has always been a fav show of mine, but the way “ Fat Monica “ was portrayed had such a terrible impact on the way I viewed weight gain. I’ve been waiting for a video like this, so thank you Abbey!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

so glad it was helpful

[@elizabethmccoy272]

And ever notice how often it comes up? They talk about it all the time…just randomly in unrelated episodes

[@tgilbs]

This is a really interesting discussion point -- especially in reflecting how AWFUL female celebrities were treated by the "media" any time their bodies changed. A lot of body dysmorphia was spawned when people were calling Kate Winslet in Titanic fat (another example to add to the truly exhausting list!) I can't get over people literally starving themselves to try and fit into a size 2 for the sake of being able to say they're a size 2. I visited the set for Friends as a teenager and got to see, in person, the size of the couch and how the set was shaped -- it is a forced perspective set, so what looks like a normal 3-person couch on tv is actually closer in size to a 2-person love seat! I saw Stockard Channing's clothes and Courtney Cox's clothes and I was absolutely shocked at how tiny these women were. I also think when young actresses carry fat in their faces, it makes people think they are bigger on tv. And so the trend is to be as angular as possible to look as thin as possible. I think I escaped some of the body dysmorphia because I just had people, my entire life, tell me how tiny I was. People would ask me what I did to stay so "tiny" and I would just shrug and be like, genetics???? This is just how my body is???? We all come in different shapes and sizes and that is normal!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

oh definitely yes to kate!!!

[@sainsworth42]

so well-stated! 👏

[@lavenderoh]

As a girl who grew up fat I feel this so much! I wish I was as fat now as I thought I was then lol I turned 13 in the year 2000 so I was right at a critical age during all of that stuff. I thought Kate was beautiful, I saw similar features to myself in her other than just body type, and then they dragged her in the media and I just felt so deflated. If they think she's fat and ugly, wtf am I? And then I'm just the same as you, I eat normally, move my body a normal amount, but I've always been fat. I'm not doing anything to be fat. And other than an eating disorder, nothing has ever worked to make me not fat. I'm 36 and obese, but my cholesterol is 120, blood pressure 110/70, A1C is 4.9... like what'sy motivation to hit the gym and kill myself to lose weight if my weight has zero impact on me... Plus my husband likes it 😂

[@laurenelizabeth2505]

So well put!!!

[@craftyluna6381]

If you want a good (not exactly positive, but empathetic and REAL) portrayal of a fat main character, I highly recommend My Mad Fat Diary. It's a British show set in the 90s about a teen girl who is fat, and has mental health struggles, but is also smart, talented, sensitive, creative, and hilarious.

[@deejackson8554]

what makes it soo real feeling is that the book it's based off of is actually a woman's published teen diaries so the events of the show are rooted in Rae's real life growing up

[@haz.fellie]

I watch your videos while I do cardio to remind me of why I work out in the best way. Not to be skinny, but to be the best version of me!

[@nzbanana]

You hit the nail on the head Abby. 35 years old and struggling to recover from a 14 year long ED having been exposed to all of this bullsheet as an overweight child, it’s hardwired into us from such a young age!!! Ugh grotesque.

[@laurenelizabeth2505]

How could you 'air quote' "working really hard" to become thin(thinner/leaner)? (around the 11:44 mark) Like that is not acceptable? Man oh man, talk about a double standard.

[@alexandria9286]

Maddie Zahm wrote a song called “Fat Funny Friend” about the way society treats large bodies and it touches on a lot of these points but also makes folks like me in larger bodies feel less alone. It’s worth a listen :)

[@AbbeysKitchen]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118]

A memory I have from when I was in middle school in the 90s was that my teacher lent me a book and told me to read it (no other explanation given). I don't recall the title but the book opens with the main character being a very fat girl who is ashamed of her body and prefers to stay in her bedroom where she eats white bread sandwiches with the crusts cut off. I stopped reading not even a quarter way into the book because I concluded this was a way for my teacher to call me fat and to suggest I should go on a diet. I thought of myself as chubby back then and had no confidence. I was not overweight. I was part of a gymnastics club and had a completely flat stomach. I hated my thighs and upper arms even though people in my class thought those looked completely normal. What probably influenced my lack of confidence was me having the biggest thighs in the gymnastics club, and wearing what is basically a onepiece swimsuit those are on full display. This was also during a period of time when being slim and having no curves at all was the ideal. In hindsight I realize the book was a book about a fat girl who gets a restrictive ED and ends up in serious trouble with her health, and my teacher picked up on the fact that I saw myself as chubby and wanted to prevent me from having a restrictive ED myself. I give him 0/10 for communication.

[@ksen333]

The fact that any time you say anything that implies that "fat ppl are not lazy evil monsters" you get accusations that you are glorifying obesity just proves how dismorphophobic our society is. Thank you for bieng a ray of hope in this messed up society.

[@mariahhuehner1196]

I'm Gen X and this was stuff was even worse in our media. I mean, our ideal was "heroin chic". We have a lot of studies that show that people equate all kinds of negative character traits with "fatness" when body size has nothing to do with whether you're kind or smart etc. There's a whole academic library of books dedicated to the ongoing issue of body shaming, women in particular, and the use of fatphobia and the language of "control" around women's bodies. There's even bias in fashion history where, for years, people assumed "everyone was thinner back then" because surviving clothing was smaller. Because surviving garments were usually special occasion wear, not worn very much, unlike day to day garments which are equivalent to the average size today. There are LOTS of obvious and subtle examples of all of this in media and it's tough to navigate with kids because a lot of kids media used these things allegorically like Wonka.

[@shadowdancer909]

So true! Regarding historical garments, there’s also the fact that garments were usually refashioned into new styles or to fit new people. Of course it is easier to make a dress smaller but you can’t make it bigger if the fabric isn’t there. So bigger dresses would be refashioned and remade while the smallest ones wouldn’t have enough fabric to do so.

[@caterinaramirez8864]

The sad thing is that in some ways, characters like Fat Monica and Ugly Betty were actually the bridge to more positive portrayals we are now starting to see (basically these “fat” characters all found men who loved them so it made us feel good that even they could find love 🙄)

[@TheCatWitch63]

I was just remembering recently that my mom took me to the doctor when I was 13 because I was too fat (4’10” and 120 pounds). He prescribed amphetamines and I became dependent on them. I grew up thinking I was too fat and now that I see photos of my teenage years and youth, I’m amazed at how thin I really was. However, the damage was done and I still think of myself as big even nowadays, at 4’11” and 112 pounds.

[@NoisyHill_]

Omg, that‘s horrible. Doctors can be so wrong when it comes to weight!

[@pamelaodeen1547]

Thank you! I can't even begin to express how refreshing and helpful your videos are. I often watch your content when I have just been triggered by another influencer and need some undoing of that damage. Keep doing what you do!!!

[@paulamclean8644]

Well, I agree with most of this. However, it isn’t healthy to eat in excess, and places a person on the extreme opposite side. Especially when the food has minimal nutritional value like cake. I’ve been over weight and my diet was not healthy. At the end of the day, my eating habits came down to lack of education, my environment, emotional eating and mostly boredom. I think that the Willy Wonks movie basically highlights excesses of every form. Not just picking on fat kids. Too much of a good thing is not good, tv, social media. I do want to say I love your channel and it has really encouraged me to give myself a break. Thanks for your content.

[@sing2meh]

As I watching the video, I also realized how often the cliché “funny fat friend” was cast as a black or Latino person in TV/movies. I’ve seen so much media where a cute/handsome white main character is saddled with a POC “funny fat friend” as comedic relief. Sometimes it was even used to reinforce the “sassy black woman” racist trope.

[@B4Veganwascool]

I love you Abbey! I have struggled with my weight and ED since I was 15ish (I'm 41 now) If I were not introduced to you and a handful of other folks I would still be gripping onto those old ideas. I say this as I lay in bed and enjoy a vegan PB treat. Thank you for all the work you do 🥰

[@chocochat5237]

Honestly you are my favorite youtuber lately😅 you have such refreshing outlook on diets or overall food. Thanks to you I finnaly started to heal my relationship with food. Thanks you Abbie for your videos 🫶♥️

[@93Keogh]

Paraphrasing because I'm not great with details, but one of the larger Game of Thrones actors was told by a supposed fan that he should have lost weight, because it didn't make sense that his character walked a massive distance and didn't lose weight. The actors reply was "we have dragons in the show, and you're complaining that me being fat is too unrealistic for you?!" which is a brilliant reply 😂 Also, what did you think of the Whale? I never got to see it, but heard contradicting thoughts and wondered what you thought

[@vexmorningstar2714]

Coming from someone who has battled with an eating disorder and has a child who is showing signs of an eating disorder these things are very upsetting.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

So sorry to hear that. Upsetting for me too

[@MsAntigonaki]

People watched Pitch Perfect for Fat Amy- fat or skinny, she’s phenomenal - she’s the only character I remember.

[@jessiestroud4534]

I’m 38 and grew up with all of these movies, not to mention the gross magazines that were crazy popular at the time. It’s a life long journey to unlearn the message. For me it’s not about the critique of others but rather myself. The internal thoughts are madness to this day but progress is made the more we learn and are aware of the message. Thanks Abbey for this video.

[@sc1592]

This is so so important to talk about and has been a point of discussion in the theatre community for a while!

[@GannaLavrova]

Abbey, thank you for being so supportive of us!

[@AbbeysKitchen]

❤❤❤

[@unlitrash]

im so glad you touched on this, veryyyy important topic. early 2000’s diet culture is/was soo incredibly toxic and harmful. im also very happy your kids are going to grow in a very healthy environment, they’re so lucky they have the most wonderful and understanding mother ❤

[@Randis-vv5hg]

Love your passion about this topic, Abbey! Thank you for your insights.

[@KaylaDickey]

It also pits everyone against each other, and the diet and fitness industry THRIVE on that.

[@Moonscafe7]

And let's not forget that the thin women were neurotic, erratic , smoked and drank. Either way you went, there was no winning - and certainly no healthful, balanced lifestyle.

[@GamingtheOtter]

I ran cross country. Preaching to the choir about fat phobia. Particularly seen as a massive weakness in society and cross country running. 😢

[@kxolsen]

I want to give a little shout out to Aidy Bryant for her show Shrill. Having the protagonist be real and someone who looked like me, even though I am older by quite a bit, it still made me feel the whole representation matters thing so much more keenly. As a fat person I have a hard time with fat phobic thoughts and things I have trained myself to think, like I can't do that until I lose weight. It is so hard to un-learn. There are so many examples of fat shaming in media, it might be a challenge to call out where different sizes are not treated as something that is out of the ordinary. When different sized people can do things and not have it be a thing, that will be amazing.

[@TheKatoreilly]

I remember watching devil wears Prada a a a little girl and thinking “okay, if I can get to a size six, then I can be an acceptable amount of fat”

[@MRJarwson]

Finally someone speaking about this 👏🏽 I know I was definitely afraid of weight gain due to these TV portrayals

[@njjen3953]

I have been doing theater for as long as I can remember. It has always been my passion and as a 26-year-old actress, I was overweight and played the older characters. One day, I was visiting a theater manager that I had worked for as an intern. I had been auditioning year after year for his company and never getting cast. That day, he said to me, "You are so talented. If you could only lose weight you would be working professionally all the time. That day, I joined weight watchers and even worked at a weight watchers camp. That is where my bulimia started and I did not do any theater again for 15 years.

[@arielkmusic]

The one that makes me the most angry is Sleepover. The "fat" girl gets told by her skinny "friends" that if she wants to date she just needs to find a guy who also would choose a brownie over celery...... 😡😡😡😡😡😡 I'm just suuuure the thin friends only ate celery and never had anything remotely tasty and that's why they got to feel attractive and wanted🙄🙄🙄. It was so blatant and disgusting.

[@Aihara93]

Wait, that was your takeaway from devil wears prada portrayal of Andy's size in fashion obsessed environment? In my eyes it was merely supposed to point out the ridiculously extreme standards of their world and in order to do that, they needed a conventionally thin woman to be labeled as 'fat'. To me the way the film conveys it was very in your face and personally I never felt it sends the wrong message.

[@yoyoyoyo-lq4jb]

Agreed. I just wish people used more critical thinking when it comes to analyzing media.

[@AlicedeTerre]

I think while I agree with you that the message was about how ridiculous the fashion world is, we still see Andy lose weight to fit in. We see the glamorous world of fashion and the rewards (but also costs) that came with it. There's many people whose main takeaway from the movie is a love of fashion, glamorizing Miranda Priestly and praising her and Andy's drive to be girlbosses. The time period it came out was rife is fatphobia and rail thin aesthetics, even though it was supposed to point out the absurdity, it also does end up reinforcing the standards at the time. Think of the way many men take message of Fight Club to be the opposite of what the movie was trying to convey. While the movie has a specific sort of message, the way people internalize it and talk about it is way more similar to how Abbey talked about it.

[@Aihara93]

​@@AlicedeTerre She loses the weight to fit and by the end of the movie realises she got sucked in and walks away? Like what more do we expect? If all art is supposed to be a cookie cutter educational sorta checklist where every creator just makes sure they covered all aspects of the work in appropriately non-triggering manner, then that's a huge loss and not something I would like to witness. We are an intelligent specie, we can use our judgement to deal with nuance and things that are not one-dimensional. And this movie, to me, seems like a particularly far reach in terms of harmful messaging.

[@jellogirl2010]

I ALWAYS rolled my eyes when they said she was fat and I always thought that was the point, they were making fun of the "skinnier" girls. Not of Andie. ALSO Augustus in Willy Wonka wasn't fat because he was bad, the book is very clear it all stems from overindulgence. They also never blame the CHILDREN in Willy Wonka for their badness. It's always placed on the parents. Abby isn't being very critical here.

[@aimeemorgado8715]

Try being a large, over 60, having natural curly greying hair, and looking for a job in this day and age. If you aren’t rich already, you are fucked.

[@sookiesleepsalot]

Your knowledge and friendly community has recently helped me gain confidence in listening to my body and in enjoying food. ❤ I would love your advice on how to help loved ones who are very overweight. My father (probably) has a BMI of over 40 and is 61. We're all very concerned for him as his mobility is a little restricted (does not enjoy sitting in a kitchen chair, would prefer to eat and sleep on couch, will not fly in planes, can't bend down easily, walking is limited). He refuses to go to the doctor. Since I was a child, I heard him reheating and eating a lot of food at night after we'd all go to sleep and or hiding packaging. This continues today. I live across the country, and am honestly terrified he's going to have a heart attack. Although he's in his 60s, he's too young to not be able to travel and fully enjoy his life. How can we be supportive of him and encourage him to start his journey without shaming him? Have you been genuinely concerned for a loved one based on assumptions you make about their health? Thank's for creating this video and thank you all for listening ❤❤❤

[@mariahhuehner1196]

He may have an eating disorder, if he was hiding food and binge eating. ED's need to be treated by a therapist but it can be difficult for people to want to do that, especially if depression is also a component. The brain is complicated. A good place to start may be in figuring out where there are resources for him and talking to them first about strategies. If he's unable to do things he wants to do that can be a place to start asking questions and listening. Does he miss going on walks? Does he have a local support system? You can't make someone not be a depressed or have an ED so it's about finding out what the causes may be and help him realize he needs help. Definitely do NOT bring up weight, however, I'd focus on mobility and overall quality of life improvements.

[@sookiesleepsalot]

@mariahhuehner1196 thank you for your thoughtful advice! I want to avoid scaring him or blocking me out, so I think slowly discussing what he wants to accomplish will help get us started. I definitely won't mention his weight. this situation is obviously extremely nuanced as EDs and mental illnesses are stigmatized in men and still in the US. I'll research therapists in his area, but will not bring it up in our first discussion. I feel conflicted in asking him to reflect on his aspirations and mobility, but I hope it will help. I appreciate your advice, thank you!! 🌻

[@pipsperseverance5593]

I recently watched Bring It On and there were numerous moments/scenes/lines that made me feel like absolute crap. I know it's a high school movie and I'm more than twice the age that the characters were meant to be and that my body wasn't made to look like them...but none of that distracted from the feeling of embarrassment I (foolishly) felt for not having looked like that when I was younger and for being overweight now. What a crappy way to feel at almost 40yo, spending a Friday night watching a silly movie.

[@Justherejustthere]

There’s an episode of House and the patient is an 8 or 10 year old and the way they talk about her is so disgusting!! The shining light was her mom who emphasized that her worth wasn’t reflected in her weight and that she was active and healthy and just bigger than other kids. Ending was meh bc of course she lost weight and then everyone was fawning over the her.

[@samanthaallison721]

The example that immediately came to mind is the movie the DUFF (which i believe stands for Designated Ugly Fat Friend) I know its based off a book that i had heard of back then and thought I would relate to being the largest of my friends, but then it came out at "the DUFF" casted was the beautiful Mae Whitman who (as far as i can find online) is like 114 pounds

[@alexorpen3382]

This is definitely the best video you have ever done. Keep them coming! ❤

[@Ink364]

I love this! Thank you for posting. The f combs are great. I have hypothyroidism and it’s always been extremely hard to lose hard. This is refreshing.

[@rosey4exclaim]

What I hate most is that there are people who are like, "Don't read so much into it! It's just a movie!" Um, no. Every piece of media we consume teaches or reinforces something. This type of misrepresentation is so important to point out and learn from.

[@forrestfey]

They do not do things in a random way when making a movie. Movies are costly to make. For someone to be fat is sending a signal to the audience of what to expect of that person. The fat person will be stupid or lazy and ridiculous. It is sad that everyone understands that signal.

[@jessicahebert3062]

A classmate in high school called Marilyn Monroe fat because “she was a size 12”. And of course with the size conversions from then to now we realize she was actually a size 2-4 in todays sizes. But none of us knew that at that age and we fixated on the number. I realized easily marilyn monroe was much slimmer than I was at the time and that statement she made alone wrecked my body image even more. The fixation on number assigned to size versus fit and how we feel in the clothes is toxic

[@emilykestrel5446]

I agree with your overall assessment, but I think you missed some nuance in a couple of these examples. In Devil Wears Prada, it’s obvious that Anne Hathaway is not fat. What’s being made fun of are the ridiculous standards of the modeling industry. And with Bridget Jones, it’s a satire of the self help/weight loss industry. There’s nothing wrong with Bridget or her weight, she just thinks there is. Other people in her life think she looks fine, and in book two, when she does lose a lot of weight, everyone points out she used to look better. (With Bridget, that was probably more clear in the books, though.) And while the Fat Monica character is rather insensitive, she’s also kinder and happier than “thin Monica.” She’s actually an endearing character.

[@susanjeffries5108]

Really good points! I was thinking the same thing!

[@kp782]

Same

[@Maria-fr6tb]

Abbey, I BEG you to reconsider watching Ugly Betty. it honestly is such a great show! the message ends up being all about this amazing woman who succeeds despite not being conventionally attractive and finds her own way. It might not look like that at first glance, but the show did such a great job with breaking barriers and I really felt inspired by Betty - you just fall in love with the character.

[@Bee37351]

Nice work on this one Abby. I have family members who are just having trouble losing weight despite going to the gym and trying their best to diet. There is so much more that goes into losing weight than just eating too much. They’re not overeating, very often it’s how our bodies process the food we eat as opposed to how much we eat. It breaks my heart when people shame overweight for something that can sometimes be digestive problem . For example a blocked gallbladder will not release the bile you need to process fat. So you’d be unable to process oils well and you store them as fat. Someone else with a normal functioning gallbladder is able to process the same meal and not gain weight. We don’t pay enough attention to these details and unfortunately some people pay for it.

[@laurenelizabeth2505]

Respectful info... I like it. Thanks for sharing this.

[@itssteph263]

Currently watching episodes of The Golden Girls, while recovering from gallbladder surgery. The amount of fat shaming and fat jokes that goes on in the show is appalling. I remember crying when I was younger when watching The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants, when Carmen was made to try on a too small bride’s maid dress. So she ends up leaving the dress try on in tears.

[@amberkeever8565]

Yes, same. That movie still hurts to watch 😅

[@amusebouche64]

I remember watching Saturday Night Fever when I was younger and there is a character in there that is more voluptuous and she was treated like the whore. I've noticed ever since then that women in media, especially with larger breasts (as I have), are often depicted as the women you sleep with and objective, but not the woman you love. It's messed up.

[@BC-np8cb]

Totally. I felt this sometimes even though I was not explicitly called a slut or anything. Big boobs, bigger butt and even curly hair somehow made me feel associated with women being "bad" or tacky, lacking innocence, grace or just not genteel and worthy of protection somehow, even though I was a pretty shy person who was not at all about trying to be sexy or whatever as a teen.

[@Aelnova]

One that really bugged me was an episode of "Psych" when the female lead freaked out because someone guessed her weight as (gasp!) 145.

[@katstuck]

Abby, I doubt you will ever see this but I want to know if it's ok to skip breakfast if I'm not hungry. My metabolism is all out of wack. I get extremely stressed by my toddler and I end up eating tons of snacks right before bed then when I wake up I have no appetite.

[@espeon871]

As someone who is plus sized, genuinely, it feels so good to feel humanised, because people see my build and act like its a moral failing and i dont deserve to be treated like a person. They only see like oh, unhealthy, as if being unhealthy is literally like a fucking permit to be garbage. Fat people are people too. People shld literally be treated as people not as their bodies and their health status. Esp in my case my weight gain is cuz of TW ED, anorexia turned binge eating and im actively trying to get my life tgt like better habits not in the diet way as i will cycle back and if theres weight loss its a side benefit cuz im just trying to get more healthy and fit and routine. Off topic but im so sick and tired of seeing people go oh actor doesnt seem skinny enough to play a character in an apocalypse as if everyone's bodies act the same because in real world examples u can see still see a variety of bodies in areas.

[@Violet-hj2fn]

No one treats you like you're not human that's just your insecurities speaking.

[@suzyh5874]

This video really speaks to me. I have always hated that underlying or very clearly shown fatphobic message in all movies and TV shows. Especially fat people being used as the punch line to every joke. I couldn't watch a lot of Melissa McCarthy films because I thought she was always just made fun of in every movie instead of being treated like an actual intelligent, fun, beautiful woman.

[@MsLinoi]

Kinda off topic, but heres what I used to watch at the age of 5 with my dad: Indiana Jones, James Bond, Godzilla & a bunch of action movies. I think your husband didn't do the worst ❤️

[@AbbeysKitchen]

hahaha fair

[@AnneEllsworth-b7h]

This is such a great video because it shines a light on what i'm so concerned about when It comes to my body. I have always have had bigger hips and wasn't the skinniest person in the room but I was made to belive I was fat because I was not a size zero. I'm sill deeling with insecurities but your videos really help. Thank you so much for bringing this up.

[@83shaunam]

Jennifer Lawrence looked healthy in the hunger games and what people forget is that katniss experienced hunger in the past, but eventually got really good at hunting, and good at feeding the family. And they had prim's goat and they traded some of the meat from her hunts for other food. I think she also took the extra rations at tines. She kept them well fed, considering where they lived. She was a bad ass and nowhere in the book was she described as being starved and malnourished, aside from flashbacks.

[@mariebillion2858]

Coucou Fanny ! Je serais ravie de voir un épisode 4, ainsi qu'une version healthy et allégée de tarte aux noux😍 Bravo aux filles pour leurs idées en tout cas !❤️

[@lilyharwood3946]

I'm so glad that you shared light on Bridget Jones. I remember after watching this movie I went crazy googling her weight and height because we look so similar and I was definitely judging myself for a long time after then. ❤ I never thought that other people did this.

[@jusk8lp]

I watched Bridget Jones' Diary for the first time a few years ago, and it made me angry that the dialogue keeps shoving at the audience how fat Bridget is when she's actually thin and beautiful enough to wear a sexy bunny suit confidently. As somebody who has been fat since age 12, I have only ever worn pants and skirts that cover me below the knees.

[@inekethomson7520]

You are on fire Abbey! I remember dating a guy who went on about how Renee Zellweger was fat in Bridget Jones. I could not believe it, I was bigger than her, and I didn’t think she was anywhere near fat.

[@mallarielove]

i was a fat kid growing up due to health issues. i literally could not lose weight no matter what i did. it was even worse cause i had a HUGE tumour in my pancreas which made my stomach protrude a lot. it made me immensely insecure and tbh was traumatizing for a young girl. and since other kids saw this i was made fun of a whole a lot. it’s really painful when people assume you’re one way or another or treat you horrible when your overweight. especially men.

[@amandabrittenden]

I personally always thought Monica from friends wasn't actually that fat in the flashbacks. They made her out to be this huge blob but when she had the fat-suit on it wasn't that big...

[@LyraValley]

I feel like your take on Ugly Betty isn't right. I haven't watched it in forever, but I always thought that in the scene you described, there is no point we are supposed to be laughing at Betty. On the contrary, we are supposed to be on her side, feel bad for her, and think that the people laughing at her are the horrible ones.

[@susansho]

Thank you so much Abby for this video.

[@jillcnc]

There needs to be a study on how much of the "health care issues" associated with obesity are not so much about the obesity but because of the fat-shaming. We see it in the medical profession, but we also see it in the shaming of people at gyms or even exercise walking in clothing that isn't a tent. Eat a steak in a restaurant, and someone will tell you you shouldn't eat it. Eat a salad, and someone will praise you for "eathing healthy" but then fuss at you if you use any dressing on it. Once someone is overweight, their weight and bodies become public property for people to work out their own body and food issues.

[@cramperella]

Amen

[@strawberrylove5684]

Do people actually say this stuff to your face, or is it more that the mean part of your brain is imagining that they’re saying it to you? (We all have that mean part of the brain, unfortunately). I was overweight for a few years, and no one ever said anything like that out loud to me. I used to constantly imagine they were thinking it, but thankfully no one ever said that stuff out loud to me

[@starberry22]

bruh. this is you being delusional. u want medical science to have different outcomes simply because you're feelings are hurt?

[@stephanieok5365]

Y'all the only fat positive/neutral movie I could immediately think of was the Shrek movies. Thinness was not a reward for Fiona and being fat did not make her less likeable, less disciplined, or ugly by the end of the first movie. Her and Shrek got to be protagonists and love interests without undergoing a beauty quest as the thing necessary to be happy and triumph by the end of the movies.

[@kellymaynard3600]

Thank you so much for calling out Samantha’s “gut”. This scene has truly plagued me for years. 😢❤

[@rebeccaakers6656]

I will never forget when "Next Top Model" had their first "plus-sized" model who was a size 10. They were worried if any of the clothes for the shoots would fit her. I quit watching.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

oh ya that was rough

[@chillzen]

DONE - let’s hope this works, literally for the good of humanity 🙌🏻

[@angelamcallister1992]

i always want your recipes you're making! Love you!

[@manuela1986]

I am 174cm (cca 5'9") and 58kgs (128lbs) and still feel I am too big sometimes. Even though I KNOW I am not, but I cant help but compare myself to other thinner women. And I am 37! My skeletal frame is quite wide, the shoulders and hips... I will never LOOK stick thin but I cant help to feel jelous sometimes 😮😑

[@mayurim9839]

Thank you so much for this video Abbey!

[@ritchfae]

That’s why I love school of rock, all of the kids are equal and Tamica learns to accept who she is without change

[@chelsealiddypivtorak9282]

Ok #1 I am watching this while eating a delicious buttery sprinkle white chocolate sugar cookie so go me! #2 THANK YOU - that Willy Wonka tunnel scene still terrifies me! #3 It's crazy how fatphobic the media I consumed while growing up is - even re-reading Harry Potter it's shocking.

[@AbbeysKitchen]

yep!!!

[@lynncrf]

Abbey, I thought research has demonstrated that the best longevity is in the "overweight" range rather than the "normal" range. Can you clarify?

[@cennen.7923]

I would love to see a movie where the main female character is overweight and the weight is NOT mentioned or part of the storyline. Any suggestions?

[@phillipskelli]

I love this dress and message. Also- you missed Kate from This Is Us. Was she a good or bad example for fat folks with dimension?

[@murmy]

hi abbey! this might be a niche topic, but can you make a video on nutrition tips for avoiding bloating or water retention while on steroids - whether chronically or a short burst?

[@Jellybeansatdusk]

This is what we talk about when we talk about fatphobia. We aren’t saying it’s healthy, we aren’t delusional. We are saying ALL people deserve to be treated with respect, and quite frankly that’s just not the case. It’s not glamorizing obesity, it’s about respect and basic human decency. People don’t treat each other with respect.

[@celestialcircledance]

One thing I've picked up on is that lead blondes are often a little more voluptuous then brunettes as if brunettes have to make up for their hair color with a tall taller razor thin physique . Think Marilyn versus Audrey and I'd be curious if anyone else has noticed that discrepancy .

[@AbbeysKitchen]

definitely!!! good catch

[@CarissaHelmer88]

Marilyn Monroe had a 23.5 inch waist...pretty thin if you ask me. But yes her chest was 36 inches, so while not large, porptionally to her waist her boobs seemed big. I think this can also be attributed to the stereotype of the ditsy or slutty blonde, and people apparently equate big boobs with ditsy or slutty.

[@rosey6550]

I’m a 5’3 millennial woman, and I weigh 125ish pounds (I don’t weigh myself regularly due to ED recovery, but I’m about a size 4 dress size). Every single show and movie you referenced were ones I watched as a teenager, and I am convinced they were instrumental in making me sick. To this day, at 28 years old, I still have SEVERE body dysmorphia. I have no idea what my body really looks like, because all I can see is my gut, “tree trunk thighs,” and my chunky legs. I hate the media.

[@mockingbirdnightingale7169]

I've seen a few videos about these movies and everyone is taking the Devil Wears Prada at face value when it says Anne Hathaway's character was a size 6, but she wasn't. She was closer to a 0-2. I think the ideal portrayed in the film was a 00, which they were calling a 4. They just lied, it happens sometimes.

[@zuzismo]

Thanks for great video! I was also waiting to see how the muffins turned out 😅😅

[@MrBeetlejuice16]

Ugly Betty was actually one of the first shows I watched where the unconvential woman wasn't an outsider, the loser or the butt of the joke, but an ambitious, caring and intelligent person with layers and complexity. I also love how she has several relationships throughout the series with very different partners (I'm always gonna be team Henry), so she's also regarded as a desirable woman and not just the career woman or the unattractive brainiac stereotype. It was also a show that finally featured a Mexican-American lead character. That show really made me gain more confidence because I got to see someone who looked more like me still live a happy, thriving life. Yes, it has its problems (particularly the way they include a lot of transphobic language), but I think the show has a more positive impact than a negative one.

[@margauxevans4298]

I catch myself judging people for how they look all the time and having to take a stap back and remeber i was conditioned to noticed those things

[@SaraLo110376]

I feel like I am sitting at your island, sipping my coffee and just nodding at every single thing thing - not to mention f*ck and sh*t because that is what this topic f*cking requires! Thank you!

[@missknight9]

This was a great video! I’d love to hear suggestions of positive weight inclusive portrayals in film. I think including these into our media consumption is important. If you have recommendations please comment below!

[@mariahhuehner1196]

I've found more body positive talk in kids media these days from books to TV, or just being more diverse about body types/shapes can go a long way. The latest She-Ra show did that very well. Up is another good example where you have the kid character being rounder and it's never a joke or even remarked on and he's smart, capable, and active.

[@NoisyHill_]

I loved Sookie (?) in Gilmore Girls. She was passionate and quirky and obviously loved food, but it was never ridiculed and her weight never was an issue.

[@lavenderoh]

Not necessarily for overweight stars in particular but I have found Indian media portrays more stars which would be considered "mid size" here.. don't get me wrong compared to average people they're still thin but when they are dressed or dancing or something you will see natural rolls and jiggles and things like that.. unlike in Hollywood where most women's bodies are firm statues that barely move except during sex 😂 as a bigger person it makes me happy to see normal sized people with jiggly fat and stuff.. I'm sure I sound like a weirdo..

[@craftyluna6381]

@@NoisyHill_ Sookie was great, but the titular girls still made fun of fat people, especially in one horrible scene in the revival. So be warned!

[@laurenelizabeth2505]

@@craftyluna6381 Oh yeah!!!