I was in recovery for 7 years - overcoming my disorder and starting to feel again

I was in recovery for 7 years - overcoming my disorder and starting to feel again
In this video I wanted to share a bit about my recovery journey after my disorder and how the many years it took taught me a lot. I was so impatient to be 'perfect' and get my life back together, not understanding that it needed to take a long time. I could only gain what I needed to learn by being patient. All negative, self-medicating behaviors have so much in common, and I think we can all take a moment to remember our worth and celebrate how far we've come. Being in this world, being human, can be hard. There will always be someone out there that seems to be in a more difficult circumstance than you, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve help. We help our planet, our community, and strangers alike by healing our own wounds so that we can shine brighter. The way I would describe beginning the journey of healing is 'starting to feel again' - I can't think of a better way to say that - accepting the full range of emotions back into your life, coming to terms with them and working with them without desperately looking for a way out. Sometimes we carry a lot in our hearts, and it's easier to ignore it than address it. By allowing yourself to feel your allow yourself to live a life of discomfort, of putting yourself at emotional risk by being vulnerable, and yet also freeing yourself to completely love yourself and others. It's a rather messy journey, often complicated, but uniquely yours.
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[@angiemiller1335]

Like your acquaintance at University, you speak so wisely for someone so young. The fact that you have gathered 1.11 million subscribers with your channel should validate that the world is definitely a better place with you in it. Your words touch so many people. They touch me. Thank you!

[@texasgirl6450]

Well said. And, I think some things are worth saying.

[@anneosullivan4107]

Well said. 100% agree.

[@hilltopvt]

That's what I wanted to say but couldn't.

[@sol.azulalado]

She's growing fast! 🧓🏼 🙃

[@pinparasol]

I completely agree. Thank you so much, Paola ! Muchas gracias, Paola ! Un grand merci, Paola ! By the way, what a gracious and beautiful name ! In my tiny European country, we had a queen named Paola. Your video's are an absolute delight. You are not only an artist, you are a true teacher.

[@TheCottageFairy]

This week I wanted to reach far into the past, to honor our individual history. Feels strange, in a way, to speak on a topic that is no longer relevant in my life, but I think that is the very reason I wanted to share. The way I would describe beginning the journey of healing is 'starting to feel again' - I can't think of a better way to say that - accepting the full range of emotions back into your life, coming to terms with them and working with them without desperately looking for a way out. Sometimes we carry a lot in our hearts, and it's easier to ignore it than address it. By allowing yourself to feel you live a life of discomfort, of putting yourself at risk by being vulnerable, and yet also freeing yourself to completely love yourself and others. It's a rather messy journey, often complicated, but uniquely yours. I hope this video offers anyone struggling with any sort of health or behavioral issue to know that they are doing a couragous thing, and asking for help is the bravest thing anyone can do. I know a huge element that temps many of us not to ask for help is this idea: ‘there are so many people facing darker days than I, I should just tough it out and not ask for help, as I have so many blessings and don’t deserve to be struggling.’ In response, I wonder; what if none of us asked for help because there was always someone out there facing a harder day? This competition of who deserves help more would end in the vast majority of people not being able to accept healing, and therefore unable to help others. Unable to help those people also in need. We need to see the worth in healing ourselves in order to heal others, as a whole we cannot thrive if only certain people deserve help. We can be the people who shine their light and uplift and support others, but not without first stepping into our courage and saying yes, a new beginning starts here❤️ Sending my love and well wishes for a beautiful October!

[@arianahoule7223]

Hi, Paola. It takes a lot of courage to come forward and speak your truth. My eldest daughter had anorexia when she was 10 years old. She spent 10 months in several hospitals. It was a long journey. However, she is now "49," and highly successful in business. She also has a beautiful heart and is very wise. Sending love to you, Ariana

[@Salvation7]

When did you get out of recovery?

[@marialaing7130]

Thank you! 💝💝💝

[@ZanoniSnowflake963]

It does help. We know we are courageous & we feel deep offering that space to others but they aren't ready which is OK. We see ourselves & finally accept all of us in this 1 body Thank You! Xxxd

[@mariarosaleon6708]

Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your life and thoughts with us. It sure helps and inspires me to be more positive about myself and reach out more to those around me ♥️

[@violetstarla]

Please do audio books, children storytelling or a podcast. Your voice is so therapeutic. I literally fall asleep within minutes of listening to you which is miraculous because I have a sleeping disorder. Your subdued tone really cloaks the ambiance in a room like a warm wool blanket in the winter. Thank you for all that you do.

[@kaylinworthington]

I so agree!

[@biancas2639]

Yes, my rabbit also always calms down whenever I put this channel on.

[@Cassandra1767]

Have you heard of asmr? I also have a sleeping disorder and it helps so much. You can find videos on here just look up asmr.

[@newenglandcoast7121]

There are 12 hour videos of rain/wind/thunder etc. Imagine a 12 loop of her voice speaking....Anything!😇😇❤❤

[@littlefairyland763]

I am so agree... Love her voice... Calming

[@TheMacabreTavern]

I've watched this video a few times, and in a few weeks, I will be 8 years sober. The journey may never end, but congrats! You win battles every day just by waking up.

[@coachingforchrist4090]

congratulations on your sobriety! Peace , strength and love !

[@christydecuir2703]

My daughter was diagnosed with among other things, social anxiety and panic attacks. For the last 8 years she has been working on this and with much time and many moments of utter frustration and feelings of hopelessness, she has blossomed. She shows such strength and grace. I am so proud of her and how far she has come. She has grown in confidence and I just look in awe sometimes at all the things she has faced and overcome. I may not know what to say to help all the time but I know she is happy just to have someone to listen to her.

[@gearoidmacruari2292]

And you should be proud of yourself too Christy! You are a strong and kind dad! Well done!

[@christydecuir2703]

@@gearoidmacruari2292 I am a Mom😊

[@KENTUCKYUSA1]

Being a witness is a vital role.

[@suepumphrey1559]

My daughter has too. Another of my daughters has had to break contact in order to heal. I find thecottagefairy helped me to see that I too need to heal.

[@elainekan1917]

I cried out after watching this video, it’s so touching. No matter what happened to us, good or bad, it passed. I love you, especially who is now reading this comment. Wishing you all the best.

[@JoanLamrack]

It's poetic that 7 years reminds me of a saying that your body actually replaces its cell completely every 7 years. That also symbolize that change and growth is gradual. This video made me look back my life as well. It was not pretty, there's still thing in the past that haunts me, but a lot of them I have come to terms with and I'm in a better place. Sending love as well to you Paula, and here's to another upcoming 7 years! :)

[@sallyrice3902]

This isn’t true but that’s okay 😂❤

[@JoanLamrack]

@@sallyrice3902 figured as much :D

[@sallyrice3902]

@@lailalivsdatter549 some cells you are born with and are never replenished.

[@Venusbabe66]

I thought the same thing when I heard Paola say 7 years. There is some truth to it. However, it's not the whole body. Also, the number 7 is regarded as a spiritual number, metaphysically speaking, so there's that too.

[@marialaing7130]

Thank you! I see myself in what you describe. I think my tendency towards depression is my form of “disorder”. Through therapy at different times I learned that my life was worth living. It took me a long time. I’m 76 now, have raised two fine sons, one of whom passed at age 40. He, my beloved son, Michael, showed me to live life fully was pure joy! I’ve worked diligently through all the diverse feelings that come with being human. I took myself out of an abusive marriage to raise my two sons as a single mother. It was difficult, scary but rewarding. I wish I could have said and felt what you shared here when I was your age, but alas, it’s taken a lifetime for me to arrive where I am today. I’m deeply sensitive and color and nature fill me with joy. I’ve pre-ordered your book and I know I will be delighted when it arrives. You are beautiful and authentic, and gracious in sharing your journey with us. 💝🤗🥰🙏🏼😍

[@priyankagupta258]

Thanku so much for being here.I read so many Comments nd people here r really so amazing. But I don't know why I'm feeling so connected with you @ Maria Laing . I'm here at age of 26 ,fighting daily from my ownself ,from my depression, behavior, my looks ,failures. I actually don't like myself in these days. But after knowing that there r people like you Maria in the another country of this world who had face so bad but still here standing like mountain nd indirectly messaging me that I can come out from all these worst days. I wish I can connect with you daily....

[@priyankagupta258]

You r a winner...

[@tajat866]

Amazing, Maria, to go through all that and became a kind person you are 💜

[@hilltopvt]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. You sound like a remarkable woman. 💖

[@Englishroserebecca]

It’s so hard just being able to be yourself in todays society and culture without the fear of judgement and criticism. That’s what holds us back and stops us from blossoming and being free. It’s only in older age we stop worrying about what others think of us and what we look like.

[@katbarron]

I'm not sure exactly what it is that made me start crying when you started speaking to the camera, but I had this feeling of wanting to hug my younger self, who didn't realize she was an HSP in an overwhelming world of university and socializing, and telling her "It's okay. You didn't know yourself back then, but you do now." There is a feeling of sadness of wondering what my life would have been like if I could have honored the quiet introvert rather than trying to fit into a society that didn't nourish me. I didn't really start understanding myself until my early 30s and I live my life now with so much more awareness & intention and I'm grateful for it. Thank you for this video ❤

[@Ann-bq2nc]

Thanks for your sharing. I see myself in it. Im an introvert, i hated that because it was hard for me to join with other pp the way an extrovert did. But now, i changed. I accept myself for what it is. And try to nurish my soul instead. We are unique. So i dont try to be others anymore.

[@lynndenault4212]

HSPs. Learning that I was one changed my life. Wish I had known sooner.

[@gracelymartinez]

I feel you. Happened the same to me. Now that I’m in my 40’s I’m more aware of my feelings and understood that I don’t have to be someone else. Your words brought tears to my eyes… I want to hug my younger self♥️

[@kgoodrick]

When I was young at university, introverted, asthmatic, with acne vulgaris , I chose to become a psychotherapist. After 15 years i was successful in becoming a happy man with a 45- year marriage, 2 sons, 3 grandchildren. I think your videos would be helpful to many patients. Keep up the good work.

[@Jen.R.]

At 39, I am now 3 years into full recovery from anorexia. I have not been fully recovered since I was 10 years old. I had told myself for years after my initial recovery, that I was healthy, but I still used so many disordered habits. My ED has always been about control, and 4 years ago when my life veered paths, I had a full blown relapse. Only through sitting in the discomfort of things not being in my control, have I been able to really work through my issues.

[@nairbvel]

When it comes to answering how long it will take to heal from trauma, to grieve loss, or to learn how to take care of ourselves, there is only one correct answer: "As long as it takes." I'm 63 years old and there is literally not a single day (some days, a single hour) when I am not absolutely convinced that I absolutely suck at adulting. The weight of everyday life is always a shock to me somehow... but knowing that so many others feel the same way is a source of strength. Thank you for being brave enough to share this with us. "You are not the darkness that you endured. You are the light that refused to surrender." (John Mark Green)

[@dingledogful]

I am a few decades younger than you and it's comforting knowing there are others who feel the same things regardless of age or other life experiences. We are all just humans trying to get through life the best way we know how. And maybe it's not about getting rid of the feelings of inadequacy, but instead learning that meaning and beautiful things can exist alongside them. I appreciate you sharing your perspective and the beautiful quote at the end.

[@evangeline3152]

I love that quote and I will hold on to it.

[@Rebecca-creates]

A beautiful quote. I need to keep this close. Thank you

[@DivineDianne]

wow. This really impacted me in a positive and touching way. Thank you.

[@larakaramazova777]

I still feel the same way and I am older than you. Disciplining our inner voice is very hard, exhausting work. But we are still working at it.

[@tanyacurran3588]

My year anniversary is coming up; attempting suicide. Everyday is a journey indeed. When I saw your horses it brought a smile to me. I ride horses and they truly are my saving grace. Their mere presence brings me peace and joy. I’m so glad I found your KZbin channel. Thank you for sharing your experiences and past struggles with us.

[@kelliehays3482]

I'm genuinely happy you are here, Tanya. I do not know you, but I am happy you are here.

[@darlineroze]

God bless you with so much love within and without ❤️

[@allisonburd6935]

Tanya, I am so glad you have horses in your life. My old mare saves my life ever day! We are blessed. I don't know you, but I am proud of your strength and courage.

[@user-ry1cc1im6f]

You're amazing!

[@tedpreston4155]

Tanya, on one of my hardest days, two of our horses stood side by side with me and told me, without language, but in terms that were crystal clear: I was loved. They loved me. They told me so by making me feel it as I wept, while they stood guard over me and gave me encouragement. Animals are far more communicative and thoughtful than we give them credit for.

[@wanderingpaladin4927]

I teared up at this. I’ve been in recovery from PTSD for so, so long and sometimes I feel like giving up on myself. It really helps to know that needing years to get better doesn’t make me weak or hopeless, and that a wonderful person like you went through this too. Thank you for sharing your story, it really means a lot to a fellow sensitive soul like me ❤

[@micheledau1294]

I do not know you and will most likely never meet you. But, it is a joy to know you are alive in the world:)

[@SimplySophieFR]

It's so true. It takes time to recover but then it is lasting. During my childhood and teenage years, it took me years to start to live. Now I am so glad I chose life. I am a mom of 2 wonderful children, I speak 3 languages, I've travelled to many places and I am living many lives in my own. To anyone struggling, try to keep going and start to feel and live...

[@jnetbeams]

My previous life was a solidly “Type A” workaholic with some rigid expectations. And then I was diagnosed with a chronic illness. Things had to change. I downshifted and felt lost. Hearing you embrace your “slow life” has renewed my faith. My life is so much richer for it.

[@cats2ish]

I think you are beautiful! I can certainly relate to an introverted personality. It has been with me for my entire life. I did not make friends easily and have only 2 great best friends. It is hard for me to open up to someone, much like yourself. I am 65 and married 48 years, but I have always struggled with being able to care for me. The first thing I do is think of what someone else wants. I still struggle with being good enough. I enjoy your videos very much because you have such educating wisdom. Thank you for them .

[@fantomanimus6401]

As someone in year 1 of recovery from a 11 year problem I just want to let you know how much i appreciate that you shared the reality of the time it takes to heal.

[@luisv7117]

You will be perfectly fine just keep your hope

[@ldyshallott]

I’m on year 5. Every day is a gift, it gets better, I promise. you are not alone ❤.

[@bethanythatsme]

Thank you I'm in a difficult yet beautiful part of my self acceptance as an adult with ASD & ADHD. I'd put all of my efforts & energies trying to "right" myself & fit in, that I completely lost myself in the process. I'm in a sort of surfacing from the depths & sometimes I get the bends, but there's light at the surface of the water.

[@rachelgreen7729]

I'm in the same place....xx

[@TexasMike98283]

You've touched my heart and innermost self. I'm older living in a cottage by the sea...alone. I have struggled mightily with being alone and am finally finding myself and putting this great need of companionship to the side and seeing the joy of a warm fire, beautiful surroundings, baking bread... My need to self medicate is slowly fading to black as I realize they are not needed and I am a better person without. Yes, I found a fellow traveler on this, sometimes weird, sometimes self-destructive adventure we call life. Enjoy your adventure, and thank you. Michael

[@phyllisanngodfrey6137]

In my 70+ years of living, I have come to some conclusions and gained some wisdom. I learned that I can’t control and fix everything everywhere. I learned that I must choose a life mission that is reasonable and has a chance of succeeding. I must believe in my mission and be steadfast in my work related to it. I prayed and God revealed it to me. I actively accepted it and continued to pray for the grace to perform it. I started small and pursued my mission as my time and multiple responsibilities allowed. Eventually, I retired and my family grew up and became independent as I had raised them to be. With more time I expanded my volunteer work related to my mission. I find that God provides me with everything I need to be successful in my mission. I derive great joy from doing it and feel that I am doing something important and deliberate to make the world a better place, one small mission task at a time. I am healthy, happy and fulfilled and am at peace with everything and everybody in my life and with my God ❤️. I got here by degrees and forgave myself when I couldn’t DO IT ALL. I just did the best I could and still do it one day at a time. 👍🏻

[@kaitlinmeadows6273]

You have such a beautiful soul forged from all your broken and bruised places, from the pain and anxiety of your journey you have become a compassionate light for others struggling with the dark nights of their spirits. Thank you for stretching out your heart, being brave enough to share your story, always being candid enough to show us that behind the beautiful woman we see here is someone who has struggled and suffered and worked and dedicated themselves to self-healing.

[@gearoidmacruari2292]

Your comment captures perfectly what she is all about, very well written.

[@mscatnipper2359]

When I first embarked on my healing journey decades ago, I compulsively wanted to reach my goal of being an emotionally healthy and competent person ASAP. It was exhausting and, of course, impossible. I instead eventually learned to enjoy walking that winding path instead. Walking or finger following labyrinths was one way that helped me learn to trust the process. Your comment about setting an immediate deadline reminded me of one of my favorite quotes: "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."

[@destinychild4659]

What a beautiful quote! I absolutely love it! 😍 I am going to steal it. 😜

[@mariamelazhary233]

I'm following you from Egypt 🇪🇬 and I'm telling you that I am very proud of you and your words touched me deeply as I am facing a very hard time in my life facing alot of fears and disappointments .. I hope when I watch this video next time to be better and stronger than before ❤️ I love you so much 🥰❤️❤️

[@KrissiCreates]

As a 65 year young, soon to be Great Grandma, your video dearest Paola, spoke to my heart. A message I have tried to share with so many, but not as eloquently as you, is that the struggles and trials of this life are make us what we are today. I've suffered with many losses of family members all but 1 in my immediate family. I've endured physical pain daily for over 12 years. But I have grown and learned to find peace and rest from it all. I take one day, one hour, one moment at a time now. No sense in worrying about the could of ,would have, should haves. As my wise son tells me, when I apologize for things he endured while I was fighting my own battles with mental health... "Momma don't you realize that it only made me, us, stronger !" Wise words. Love and blessings to you and yours, dearest Paola!!

[@alexandralawson9578]

@Krissi57 I struggle with so much I’m 34 I have a 5 yr old son and he at 5 says mama don’t cry keep going. Your comment made me emotional 🥹

[@KrissiCreates]

@@alexandralawson9578 This Grandma is sending you a big hug !! Sending my love and prayers from Kansas 💞❤🙏🏻

[@alexandralawson9578]

@@KrissiCreates ty so much means the world bless your soul have a good day. You always have a friend in Texas

[@vivdoolan6846]

I cried watching this, resonates so much. Paola it's amazing the number of people you help with your wise words. This isnt a you tube channel, it's a beautiful haven where we also learn more about how we can face life. For someone that finds life terrifying finding you has made everything a little bit easier.

[@luisv7117]

Including myself I learned from her to slow down and live

[@angiejennings489]

Me too! That was your angel!

[@lethalcobra3848]

Much importance is attached to life, don't need to do.

[@andrearobinson7526]

You truly take the prize (if there was one) in helping people's mental health and inspiring ways to keep going. I've just discovered KZbin. It has not been in my life, nor is TV or a lot of conventional things. Your videos are always calming to the soul and lifting to the heart. And as an older HSP who's felt so misunderstood or in a form of loneliness for much of life, I feel relatable, validated and grateful for your courageous and generous art. Your authentic Being brings warmth on the coldest of days. Sincerest of Gratitude

[@ekaterinayakubova2411]

The comments under your videos are so full of humanity and grace. Thank you for your channel, Paola - you’re really bringing out the best in all of us.

[@13moonslodge]

You have so much wisdom, for such a young age. I am in my 50's and was well in my 40's before I figured out much of what you already have. Know thyself...and that you do! 💕

[@lifeisagift.cherisheverymoment]

"I am speaking from my heart" "You survived all your worst days" I needed to hear those very sweet and very wise words. Thank you.

[@lisajoybrown]

Yes, me too. 💕

[@cherylcarlson3315]

Thank you for reminding me it takes a lot of time for deep traumas to heal. Deep trauma also damages our bodies and creates a new cycle of damage. This can happen in mid life as well as youth

[@bajaboolie]

I love hearing about those seemingly minor interactions between people that are actually so profound and meaningful.

[@pamwilliams6630]

Look at all the people you help now. Amazing!!!

[@ilovetobemom]

I want you to know that I have been extremely lonely, have had fibro and chronic fatigue since I was 15, now 62, a newer widow, and your videos are my company and my friend. I thank the Lord you are alive. People like us need you, your beauty, your art, your decorating, your words

[@deewise552]

At 75, You are living the dreams of my 12 year old self, surrounded by nature and horses! Oh how I wanted one of my own and would draw horse wanted posters and hang them on my parents’ bedroom door at night. Sadly that part of my dream never came to fruition. Now, an elderly lady still young at heart, I live in the country with plenty of land to support a horse but my body is too old now to enjoy the ride. Embrace your past but enjoy your present. Your home is lovely, your spirit is beautiful & your talent amazing.

[@mscatnipper2359]

What serendipitous timing to hear you say that your healing quickened when you allowed yourself to feel things deeply. It was only a few weeks ago that a KZbin therapist discussed the importance of allowing and accepting the scary feelings felt during panic attacks, so that you could practice managing those upsetting feelings, rather than running from them. She explained that running away from the stimulus that caused the panic attack merely teaches the nervous system and our fearful brain that the successful coping strategy is to run away. It actually makes things worse, since we end up reinforcing the need to avoid rather than self modulating our negative feelings. I am now going to work more with that method to handle my panic disorder related to claustrophobia.

[@victtayl]

Yes! I had therapy for panic attacks and anxiety and as soon as I actually welcomed the sensations of the panic attack and fully accepted it, they dissipated. I haven't had one in 10 years. I used to visualise them washing through me. Coming towards me (while I welcomed it in), though and then past me once it was done. Not trying to stave it off in any way - that only increases the sensations.

[@raniaalnafisah4019]

I watched one of your videos for the very first time back then at one of the most uncertain moments in my life. I shall always be grateful for the wisdom of your heart that has guided me through it all🙏♥️♥️♥️. I am at a better place in my life right now, but your words in this video gave me a moment of reflection to my younger self. A reflective moment to tell her that you survived it all and I am proud of you to walk in the journey of life without regrets and guilt 🙏✨.

[@nennepanrikefairytaleart4773]

Words seem futile sometimes ... When I try to describe how your video makes me feel, I feel limited by words, but I want to say thank you for openly sharing this with us! Sometimes I have gotten to the point where healing has felt impossible, but then you get reminders along the way that it is possible and reachable ... Allowing myself to welcome all feelings has helped me. There is hope!, if we follow the compass of the heart. (It may sound cliché, but I speak from my own experience)

[@TheCottageFairy]

Oh! Thank you so much Nenne! I understand, I can’t count the amount of times I wondered “is this my life, I will feel like this forever?” and nearly losing hope. Now I’m amazed that even when I do struggle I think back to all those times and see my strength to keep going, and things worked out ever so slowly. Sending you a huge hug and much love ❤️

[@milenatadic]

You don't even know how many people you help with your videos. Truly, you are such an beautiful soul. Blessings from Norway

[@robertashaffer3950]

Ohhh Paola...everything you discussed in this video resonates with what I am experiencing right now in my life. The words you have spoken touched me deeply. I have been going through a devastating time in my life; however it is the first time I am facing the emotions and dealing with my situation face on instead of running away or trying to get over my feelings quickly. "What we resist will persist." For anyone reading this, face your fears and difficulties no matter how difficult NOW. The longer you wait, the more baggage you will be carrying. The older you get, the more challenging it is to help yourself. Trust me. I know what I am talking about. It is very doable, because I am doing the work now....but it is extremely intense. I am going to watch your video again Paola. My spirit needs it. I am glad for you that you are feeling better. You are inspiring. 🙏💗🙏

[@seriouslywhatever1031]

Oh, honey 😭😭😭 all those years in abusive relationships and behaviours... I'm so glad you're still with us. Please stay as long as you can, as happy as you can be

[@truthbetold2611]

offering words of encouragement and hope is a sign of tapping into our higher consciousness. The universe celebrates our awakening from bondage, self-doubt and depression.

[@hannahfansler9642]

Thank you for sharing a bit of your journey to recovery from an ED. It helps those of us along the same path to know we are not alone and that recovery is possible. ❤

[@tajat866]

I've been dealing with burnout and chronic pain for the last five years. There are better and not so good days, but I try to stay positive, making my little steps forward and enjoying little things in my days. Thanks for this kind and inspirational video 💜

[@deidrespencer5467]

I recently turned 66 years young, Paola, and your video totally resonates with me. Life is a constant ongoing journey, and the challenge is to try to make sense of it. Much love from Australia 💞

[@italianlifestyle7911]

Wow .. splendid hair and splendid place with flavorsome food!💚🌄💚

[@hishandmaiden718]

Thank you for being patient with yourself, accepting the lengthy recovery process, being open to love after anguish, and for letting us in to witness your healing...

[@FaithyandOtis..Massachusetts]

I have been in recovery from drugs and alcohol since 1988 I started at an early age at 13. I thought that was the norm, but it was the underlying problem of never fitting and never felt good enough and alcohol gave me that false bravado; once I put that down, my eating disorder went rampant all through my life; it took years to come to grips with it. I feel that was the hardest one to deal with because you have to eat, and food is not illegal. I am now a 72 year old woman, a widow, and I found my greatest comfort in my life Jesus Christ, as my savior as I worship Him and go to church on Sunday do a daily Bible study and journal. I finally have peace in my life. I just want to share this. Have a blessed day everybody and may God’s grace be bountiful today on you and your family..

[@suhasadaf]

Great story grandma. Love from India 🇮🇳

[@FaithyandOtis..Massachusetts]

@@suhasadaf a day at a time🙏

[@madelynmc2233]

You are a breath of fresh air. An Authentic beautiful soul who speaks words to uplift our days. I really love your videos. Thank You!! ❤

[@amykiernan1595]

I'm 70 year old woman I have learned through the years that life has its challenges and struggles but we do learn from these things and then find what is important and what is not. So glad you're finding peace and working towards freedom.💐

[@robynmax8719]

I get an inner peace when I watch your videos😊 I’m 75 and just now enjoying a more positive calming way to think & life. Thx

[@bernicebabe4154]

A beautiful, honest vlog. I too have a kind, caring husband (of 55 years) and I value him so much. We have three children, an extra "chosen daughter", and seven grandchildren. Despite some difficult times we feel truly blessed. That last video of you walking with the mountain background could be in the South Island of New Zealand. It looked and felt so familiar.

[@nadew.02]

I'm currently in my self healing journey and I relate to you on a personal level. Thank you for making this video

[@Venusbabe66]

Same!

[@madscola]

Thank you for this wise and kind message. I lost my mother when I was 9 years old. I miss her so much. And I am just now, rather long into adulthood (more than 20 years later), feeling like I am healing slowly from the fears and deep sorrow it introduced into my life. It takes time. But it gets better.

[@Lovelyvashkha]

This video was such a joy to watch. My personal healing journey has been quite a ride. Healing from childhood trauma, abuse and other things have really made it hard to keep moving but something within me just won’t allow me to give up. I’m happy that you are continuing on in your process and I’m sending you love to keep moving forward. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@flowergirl7260]

You make me reflect upon my twenties and what i experienced and the journey that unfolded. If i only knew that it was okay for a deer to be a deer - shy and sensitive - life would have been so much easier. But i guess acceptance of one's own nature is part of the journey, and realizing we never become 'perfect' or have to be perfect. Another lovely video. Thanks Paola.

[@bjsimonsingingstudio4014]

I randomly channel-surfed into this latest video after it had only been online for 10 minutes. And it already had 1 K (1,000) views! It's continually exciting to see how popular you are and how hungry people are for what you have to say. Keep it up - you are touching so many lives! Thank you.

[@CarolynRose98]

I needed this video and your words so much today. I'm going through a breakup with a partner I was living with. I lost him, my job, and my first taste of independence because I've had to move back in with my parents for awhile. It's felt like I've failed so much and there's nothing I can do to rise again. But isn't that the phoenix's way? It burns and rises from the ashes multiple times throughout its life, just like us. Our hardships are many, but we've gotten through all of them so far.

[@LifewithAlegria]

Your message at 4:32 brought tears to my eyes. Oh dear sweet Paola, what an inspiration you are. Thank you for sharing your personal journey with such authenticity and beauty. You are absolutely right when you say we must embrace all the emotions even the uncomfortable ones. And I love your bartering finds. Thank you for sharing and for choosing life. Much love and light to you. 🌸

[@Islander185]

Thank you for such a wonderful video. I'm 4 years into a autism diagnoses in my 40's, I hope it gets easier soon.

[@sandrazboinski6473]

I have learned through counseling and introspection that suppressing emotions is not healthy and that I miss so much in shutting down. I am a work in progress as I allow those emotions and feelings to be felt. I am choosing to live this amazing life I have been gifted. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and heart. God bless

[@1HorseOpenSlay]

I suffered for years from an eating disorder. My little sister passed away at 31, from a similar disorder. I now give myself room to relax, and now that I am older, I embrace the life I have loved, and also the life and young girl I rejected. Thanks for your wisdom. Your message could not have come at a better time, as my sister passed away on Oct. 31st 2008. This is a hard season for me. You really brought comfort to my day🍁🍂🍁

[@GrayWithMe]

Sorry for your loss. Sending light and love

[@1HorseOpenSlay]

@@GrayWithMe ty🌞

[@vintagelace7076]

I'm going through a divorce after 17 years of marriage and I was the one who chose to leave the marriage..he was a drinker who through the years had said some very mean words to me so I emotionally pulled away to survive to point I just existed there..he is still saying mean words to me out of anger for ending us. Choosing to love yourself is one of the hardest choices to make sometimes

[@Angel_HippieCityHealing]

Thank you Paola. My healing journey has spanned well over a decade and will continue. I appreciate you sharing your story and truly believe that we can get through anything if we give ourselves time and love. We really are hardest on ourselves. My motto is bit by bit. No matter what it is, if it can be done, I can do it. Bit by bit. Sending hugs to you and everyone here💕✨

[@sharongibson7523]

Being with horses is the best, glad you have some around you. Good job with the pony brushing. Your lantern is divine . Sending hugs from the UK.

[@natureissooamazing]

As someone who struggled with an ED at 17, I found this very helpful. Thank you for sharing ur wisdom ❤️

[@wendywarswick5457]

You should be proud of yourself. We are proud of you! Blessings

[@caydancebloom]

Anytime you say “sending you my love” there is a sensation that overcomes me. It’s like a healing salve being poured over my soul. Thank you for sharing your journey. Your videos are aspiring… someday I will have a channel… it’s not time yet though.🎃

[@alouettedelyvette]

The world is definitely a better place with you in it ❤️

[@ny2phillyholloway592]

I understand this in my own way. Leaving an unhealthy relationship. No matter how long I was in it. I learned it's your journey. you have to move at your own pace as you learn your lessons. that's where I found you almost 4 years ago. Decades older than you I learned from you. Paula you have no idea how you have influenced me at almost 61. Thank you.!! wishing you continued blessings. Gracias por todo.💗

[@texasgirl6450]

Oh, I love your soft spokeness. I will always be recovering..from so so much. But. I'm still going forward with my journey.

[@marialaing7130]

Same here. Recovering from childhood abuse and trauma and so much self doubt. Always moving forward. Always recovering. 🙏🏼🥰🤗

[@texasgirl6450]

@@marialaing7130 never give up...we are worth so much more.

[@heeding.the.huldra]

Thank you for your beautiful words... I have grown to understand that sometimes peace comes as naturally as breathing and sometimes takes practice and effort to achieve. Words like yours make me feel less alone on this journey to peace and I hope that you are receiving love and encouragement in a like kind. Wishing you a gentle evening 💛🌿

[@DaestrumManitz]

The road to recovery can be a hard one at times. Hopefully you have found a solace in your lodgings in the countryside and in producing such peaceful vlogs for us to enjoy. 😊

[@Vineeth..v]

Listening to Paola therapeutic.

[@royhampton3]

Paola thank you for your sincere and beautiful words. As a sensitive person who takes time for reflection, I think you've gained a remarkable amount of wisdom and insight in your 20s; things that came to me much later in life. I admire that aspect of you, a lot. On a lighter note, yes, secondhand stores are a lot of fun; you never know what kind of strange and wonderful things you'll find! Take care, till next time.

[@user-dr2js7bv2i]

It's sad, I know there are so many young people suffering from anxiety and other disorders. I'm glad you came out of it well. I must say, I'm amazed at your artistic creative pastry baking skills!!! Beautiful creation today!❤️

[@crazydiamond4565]

I have had very similar experiences in my 30s. I am now in my 60s and I feel I have gotten through those bad times successfully. I also am an introvert and I’m living my single life happily with my dog and my passion of painting. I enjoy your videos so much and can relate to you in so many ways. Bless you Paola.💖

[@corinedenburger1481]

The thing that stood out for me was that animals heal us. When you petted the horse i could feel the energie he was sending back to you, so much calmness and love. Compliments to you for the magnificent filming and catching these beautiful loving moments❤️

[@pattykake7195]

Horses are soul animals…they can read the emotions of people very well and respond appropriately…💖🐎

[@lizmcauley7169]

Being around horses is so healing 🤎🤎

[@markroalson746]

Thanks for telling us about your past vulnerability and growth along the way. So glad you found a supportive and kind husband that makes you feel safe. M.R.

[@athlene110]

Thanks for sharing Paola and being vulnerable. Your words touch my heart! 🤗💕

[@todrapayne]

It's an amazing thing to find a gentle person to love you after you've been through so much. I'm glad you've found that. I'm blessed to have that after many years of abusive relationships (even with myself, at times). It makes such a difference in healing.

[@peggydietz6148]

Oh God is using you in such a great way . I have worked or say come along side women my whole life and it Is vital that we come along side and encourage another with kindness and encourage. You do mature so deeply through the process of suffering and brokenness and builds character, integrity. That this in our purposefully precious gift of life.🙏🌾🍁🍂

[@Danique-de-Graaf]

As someone who’s in recovery too, but from a drinking problem, thank you for this video ❤ very true and beautiful words. You inspire me to be myself.

[@chantalberube1246]

Paola, you are touching so many souls. We were many to cry listening to those truth you bring in such a soothing voice. Thank you for you being you.

[@libbymiller5240]

I love watching and listening to you. I too had an eating disorder as a teen and young adult. It took me many years to unpack the reasons behind it. With much help and perseverance, I recovered. I am so THANKFUL for people like you, who have the courage to share your life with all of us! You are such a precious soul!

[@mariafmk1068]

Thank you for being so open about this time and for sharing this with us.

[@melissaoleary8196]

So grateful to be here and to be part of this community you have built. Thank you for the pocket of safety and acceptance and hope you've gifted us. ☘️

[@ceresuziel5089]

Watching this from the bottom of the hole really made me cry, at the same time I am so overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude that you Paola climbed out. On a lighter note, I have been watching your videos for some time and decided to paint my living room walls green... and no it does not look like your marvelous fairy home, it looks greener than Kermit the Frogs b*tthole... I cry a lot. All my good wishes.

[@TheCottageFairy]

Ahh!!!! Heheheh 😂😂 Kermit the Frogs butt!!! You got me giggling. I am visualizing an extremely cheerful and uplifting color ❤️ I love green. Thank you for your heartfelt words, I am sending you a big hug. Sending much love on your journey 🙏 keep shining your light

[@ceresuziel5089]

@@TheCottageFairy This made me happy. I knew I could make you laugh. Thank you ❤

[@elizabethlangley5643]

Paula, the world is a better place with you in it. I have never had an eating disorder but I do have anxiety and depression that is hard to cope with. Life gets overwhelming, but you bring such calm and for that I truly thank you xx

[@kyrieteleison3009]

Man I cried watching this. It hit me deep and hit home. I have never watched a more relatable video. Thank you for sharing and being so incredibly honest!

[@tweetie6477]

You take the words right from my mouth and the emotion from my heart... everything you mentioned in the video, at least to the extent that you shared...I've been feeling it...and hearing you speak it aloud makes me feel more connected to another human than I have felt for a while

[@kelliemchugh6526]

We have survived all our worst days to make it through to today. I love that thought, especially as I’m currently soldiering through a fairly difficult year as a public school teacher and longing for the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for validating the journey, with all of the feelings. This video was very comforting. ♥️

[@Julie-bq6iz]

Thank you for helping me realize that I HAVE gotten through my worst low times (some were very low) and I can be proud of myself for accomplishing that. I have survived and persevered and overcome. I need to acknowledge and celebrate that resilience.

[@leandragoytizolo4260]

I love how everyone is brought together and feel comfortable enough to share personal experiences in the comments. All such beautifully written, each person exudes so much love and appreciation for life. It’s amazing the community you’ve formed - everyone leading (or trying to lead) a proud and meaningful life. Thank you Paola, for sharing your stories that bring us such peace and elation.

[@KathleenIllustrated]

Thank you for sharing, P ❤️ what a treasure it is to hear your story!

[@carolinehovannesjan7992]

Dear Paola, this video is soooo healing! It’s just the kind of treat I just needed! Thank you! And please continue your art, you make me happy!

[@terriboccio6963]

It is such a wonderful thing when you come full circle as a human being and you finally get those life lessons that it takes a lot of people an entire lifetime to embrace. Bravo my friend. So very, very happy for you!

[@barbaramartin1192]

Thank you Paola for these very wise words, this is exactly what I needed to hear at this very moment. And be proud of yourself for the path you have travelled and the wisdom gained!

[@alysoncarbary2020]

Loved this video❤️ I couldn’t help but notice the horses, their eyes and are so deep and soulful. They are incredibly healing creatures and perfect to include with your video message. Thank you!