I was really, really wrong.

[@Psyched.Substance]

Thank you for all the kind comments ❤ to those who insist on seeing me in the wrong light let me clear the air: I am not addicted to anything except nicotine again. Which I am in the process of tapering down and stopping. If you saw my day to day life you’d be shocked. I spend time with my kids, I workout, and in the evenings I do art. I paint. I presently take psychedelics twice a year. My life is very, very different than you are assuming. Please stop thinking you know who I am. If you want proof just look at the amount of “live experience” videos I’ve posted this year where I’m seen testing something. I’d appreciate if you stopped making assumptions. Thank you.

[@SpiderCat420]

Prove the naysayers wrong. I know you can do it. Be well.

[@going2flip]

Make some painting videos and show your art. Drugs are lame. We all die there is no need to rush it.

[@SpiderCat420]

@@going2flip agreed about the art! I'd unironically love to see Adam's paintings! I just want to see him succeed so bad, man. 😭

[@trebloxkbaui2099]

don’t even give the haters your time of day adam peace and love ❤️

[@cactusscone]

I try my best not to assume stuff ... If I ever have my bad man I've gotten hours of entertainment and education watching your videos I'm a naturalist so i prefer plant based psychedelic but I do my best to be open minded and non judgemental when watching

[@soulsharts]

I'm here for the message, AND I'm here for the video in 6 months saying the opposite thing.

[@theakkusor]

As an addict, listening to this dude rant is like looking in a mirror when I try to justify my own bullshit. Cheers.

[@JazzerciseJustice]

This video feels like a rant I have no idea what his point even is

[@chandude3]

facts

[@theakkusor]

@JazzerciseJustice he's reinterpreting his past experience and judgment of kratom use for whatever reason: to not alienate a growing demographic of kratom advocates or to justify current/future use who knows.. As addicts we have hypemen or lawyers in our heads to empower our relationships with substances... whether its to garner strength to obtain sobriety or to negotiate further use. Sounds like one of those was given a mic for this video. Not judging, as I'm the last one who has any place, but just saying... Best of luck to all dealing with addiction, I feel ya.

[@gonza360]

He’s lost

[@SpiderCat420]

YUP. This isn't the first time he's made a vid like this, either. The cycle continues...

[@LexiiTheBratzDoll]

Adam….. I mean this in a healthy loving caring way. You’re an addict. We lie, blame, divert, distract, manipulate, coerce, codepend, bait and switch, gaslight, substitute one for another, minimize, ect. It’s not the Kratom. It’s us. We could be addicted to actions, feelings, substances, states of being, thoughts, money, pride, compliments, tears, the emotional rollercoasters, the withdraw, the highs. We are just this way. Accept it. Understand it. Get you a support system away from this stuff. Learn your triggers and manage your emotions without caving to addiction. Take it all one day at a time.

[@panta_rhei.26]

Well said 👏❤️

[@testingDEATH]

I support this comment.

[@Myke_thehuman]

I don't understand this mindset. Why can't he know himself better than we know him? Why can't he actually not be to blame for his relationship problems? Or are you trying to say that drugs no matter what drug, or anything, drugs just will destroy your life? Because that's pretty much what this sounds like.

[@нічо_такого]

as much as i think that this is valuable advise, i don't think that this comment relates well to what was said in the video. or do you think that he's lying through his teeth and he's actually fiending for kratom every second of the day behind the scenes? because thats what it looks like what you think to me

[@Skjeggspir]

Interesting to see his addiction as it evolves.

[@Dylanm94]

This video to me is way more worrysome than the video on the mountain. This just sounds like "no, no, it's not the alcohol, it's me! I can keep drinking!"

[@adamtrott78]

I do think it’s possible to go from being hopelessly addicted to a substance to using it occasionally in a healthy way. The thing is it is just as difficult as quitting cold Turkey, and it’s even easier to relapse. It’s literally just discipline, wanting it deep down, and never giving up. Simple to explain, very hard to do.

[@TjallieBrrr]

​@@adamtrott78 its possible but extremely unlikely, and almost never for a longer period of time

[@IDoABitOfTrollin]

Fellow addicts understand this video more than most. Keep fighting, be safe, take some breaks, and god speed.

[@Zidbits]

I don't like how he says Oxycontin & methadone, then says "real hard stuff like heroin or morphine" as if Oxycontin isn't as bad. Any opiate addict knows they're all the same. Whether it's codeine, Vicodin, heroin, morphine, etc. they're all opiates. It's like saying there's a difference between beer and vodka. Drinking 10 beers is gonna mess you up more than a single shot of vodka. The same goes for opiates. You do enough of one opiate, it can surpass even the strongest.

[@Skeen-f2h]

​@@Zidbits fr, I actually thought popping 3 to 4 oxy 80s were stronger than a shot of smack

[@Skeen-f2h]

​@Zidbits it's just justification, let him do his thing, don't be annoyed

[@jimmyalfonda3536]

"I was only doing it two to three times a day" my dude. Everyday? That's addiction.

[@HighOctivity]

That is a bit of a weird thing to say "only" you hear addicts say this often to justify their addiction.

[@adamtrott78]

Exactly man, for the past 2 years, I drank every single day, and i justified it to myself by looking at worse people around me. You can’t get hammered every day, that’s not a sustainable life You can’t take an opioid 2-3 times a day, thats not a sustainable life. I hit rock bottom and from that day on I knew I needed to take the first step, I told myself I was going to only drink on the weekends, I successfully did it the first week, and the second week I just continued to drink throughout the week, justifying it to myself over and over. When It came around to be ing Sunday, I told myself that this was the fork in the road, I could either get back in the train, or there likely wouldn’t be any opportunity to do it again until I hit the bottom again, so I did it. I didn’t drink on the weekdays for one week, then 2, then 3. And by the time I got to 3, I felt like I had a lot of work behind me, you hear the saying “it only takes 3 weeks to break a habit” I took that and used it as determination, that was the hard part, this is the easier part. I have now gone 7 weeks in a row doing this, I have given in a few days here and there, but unlike every other time I’ve tried to actually limit my drinking, I have something to show for it. I am 7 weeks in a row not drinking at least 3 days out of the week (Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights) and generally only drink Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights) I’m aware that my fight is far from over, but now I am fighting, and I am winning. I have a reminder in my notes app that shows exactly how much money a month I save by not drinking during the week, and I have the number of calories I don’t consume every day I don’t drink, +$450 a month and -1500 calories a day, that’s a lot man. Remember guys, don’t trick yourself into thinking what you are doing is ok, admit you have an addiction, set a realistic, but significant goal you want to achieve, and never give up. You can’t quit half-assed-ly, if you are going to free yourself, you need to actually want it. You need to want it more than the substance you want, and once you want it, Never, never, NEVER GIVE UP! IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU FAILED FOR 1 WEEK STRAIGHT, 2 WEEKS, 3 WEEKS, IT DOESN’T MATTER! THERE IS ALWAYS TOMORROW! EVERY DAY IS A NEW OPPORTUNITY TO FIGHT! YOU HAVE THE POWER! NEVER GIVE UP!

[@HighOctivity]

@@adamtrott78 kratom is nothing like alchohol alchohol has the potential to ruin your life Kratom doesn't get you loaded like alchohol it's like caffeine not really unhealthy or bad just addictive. You're projecting my guy, and I'm an addict that's how I know you are.

[@booboobeebah]

Thats not alot compared to others ive seen. Ive seen people take 20 to 30 grams a day. Its still addiction but its not THAT much

[@arknark]

@@adamtrott78 GET IT BROTHER

[@pinkdragoneyes]

I know this mans addicted because he can never imagine his life or his future without drugs. They're cool, but you NEEDING them is an addiction.

[@prestonjennings9085]

Can you imagine life without drugs? (Keep in mind that caffeine and nicotine are drugs)

[@fruityliciousk2704]

​@@prestonjennings9085 yes bro

[@TH-dg2mm]

This used to be an educational channel about the effects of drugs and safer consumption. Now it's channel about a guy's life spiraling out of control due to drugs. And tbh I'm here for both types of content.

[@calumjones]

Lmfao

[@Dwilly494]

💯

[@MeantToBeitWillBe]

It is an educational and REAL/truthful channel about drugs and personal perspectives. We've lost the way in taking things with a grain of salt. His life has definitely spiraled, but he's in a much better spot, at least my opinion, in this video. He's been through a lot and his symptoms have come from not healing along his journey and not having self-love. His generation specifically may have missed out on that way. I am fortunate to learn from him and rectify my mistakes before they went to his level and learned a lot, whilst not agreeing with him wholeheartedly, but seeing his message through his words and emotions. kinda fucked you would get amusement out of someone spiraling. I suggest just to take a different perspective and understand how heavy it is to not have love in your life (or at least feel it when its been given to you). He's done a lot of great things, but his commentary has always been him trying to "know" about each and every thing he talks about so he will make mistakes and misinterpret. That's where you looks between the words and see how he's being real/truthful, and showing us HIS experience. We can learn tons from this documentation alone.

[@bfmpizza]

@IchigoMatsumoto1889 he doesn’t follow his own advice because he hasn’t ever had a less is more approach. What’s an example of bad advice? I think harm reduction wise he has alot of good info. Even if it is limiting

[@JonnyKlin8]

@IchigoMatsumoto1889 dude's a fucking muppet.

[@elcomandante901]

You’re just like me man… an addict through and through. I’ve kept up with you over the years and been on and off Kratom myself. Hoping you eventually find peace without harmful addictive substances you can’t live without. Kratom definitely crushed my test levels. And the chronic constipation can cause anal fistulas. It’s a step stone down from harder drugs but I just don’t think it’s a permanent solution. One day you’ll quit all this mental gymnastics and rationalization and have happiness brother…

[@lachousalle31]

I've been taking kratom daily for 10 years straight and my testosterone levels are fine. There's no empirical data that shows kratom lowers testosterone... You may feel like it lowers your testosterone, but anything that has opioid agonist effects will make you feel more numb. It's not lowered testosterone, it's just making you numb.

[@walkingstick79]

As your involuntary therapist, I'm sending you a bill for this session

[@Happy_Spatula]

Great comment

[@aaaaaaa_aaaaaaaaaa]

😂😂😂

[@fishstix5699]

🤣🤣

[@talibanchristian]

You clicked the video and watched it so maybe not so involuntary haha, but I enjoy the joke and agree lol.

[@walkingstick79]

@@talibanchristian I voluntarily clicked to watch but, had no expectations of the resulting therapy session. Haaaha.

[@mackthnife3]

This is where i jump off....i went into a popular Kratom chanel and shared that i had never done it before, had a history of addiction and was just thinking about trying it....THEY ALL SAID DONT GET STARTED....youre just rationalizing...this is a dangerous message ...these "ah ha" moments are seeming like "harm induction".....sorry pal...just being honest

[@selfidolization]

Yeah I'm getting the same vibes

[@mackthnife3]

​@@selfidolizationI'm sure the comment wont be up long...lol

[@wavehellhole]

My dude Adam makes more apology videos than any other content

[@jackemmanuel9424]

It's good❤❤

[@TheOceanBearer]

And each one contradicts/apologizes for the last one.

[@apimpnamedchukiz1540]

Fr😂😂😂😂

[@wavehellhole]

@@TheOceanBearer holding out for the final one where he apologizes for apologizing all those apologies.

[@wheniztheend]

It's because he is a raging hypocrite. He can't admit to being a poly addict. He tries to say some drugs are bad, some aren't. While that is true, it is possible to get addicted to anything, whether it is inherently addicted or not. He is a poly addict. Whether it be psychedelics, kratom, or whatever the fuck, he feels the need to always be taking something. I understand the therapeutic potential of psychedelics, but some people just need to stop all drug use, and really re-evaluate what they are doing with their life.

[@fulfilledbytomo9048]

Next week: “Kratom ruined my life”

[@sagekelley1067]

It’s crazy I started watching this guy in highschool and looked at him as the psychedelic teacher. Watching this guy now.. let’s just say I’m glad I straightened up a bit. Man went through a crazy downfall that I’m scared of falling into myself

[@hercules_E164K]

Same here. I used to think psychedelics are these amazing drugs because of youtubers like him glorifying their use. Then I got severely damaged. The truth is they are dangerous drugs. LSD screwed me up more than powders or any other drug ever did. I'm still recovering years later. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy. Do psychedelics have "some" benefits? Yes But the risks far outweigh the benefits. Psychedelics are the only drug I wish I had never tried.

[@TheNeverposts]

@IchigoMatsumoto1889 yup, drugs are no joke

[@TheNeverposts]

I've never been too interested in drugs, a very casual weed smoker plus the odd shroom trip; Always just thought he had kind of an amusing channel with interesting anecdotes and an unusual perspective on life... then one day he just went way overboard with shrooms, rationalised it like he had an addiction -- that changed everything for me. It's been very educational, just not in a way he probably intended it to be.

[@MeantToBeitWillBe]

He is a psychedelic teacher. He has gone through the pathways of understanding harshness of substances due to lack of healing and self-love.

[@TheOneAndOnlySame]

Here's a fun thing you might hear for the first time (if you're borderline retarded that is): people that are very interested in drugs tend to be ... not happy with life. Mental and psychological issues leading to depressive personalities tend to be orbiting around drugs as a mean to cope or find solutions or solace. In short: i'm not sure this dude had a "crazy downfall due to drugs". Also, he looks pretty functional despite the mental hardships which is something he should be proud of anyways.

[@Word-Smithy]

Listen to the people who recognize themselves in you. This video is flooded with comments from addicts, lovingly telling you that you are one too. Starting with this understanding and acknowledgement may be your first step on the path to recovery. Wishing you health and happiness.

[@rogerpetronius]

I feel like Adam is repeating the same cycle - he's stuck in his singular Samsara. Adam, it's time to become a Jedi.

[@copperbokker802]

or a Christian

[@xylemutopia]

Christianity does more harm than good in this world. Getting out of it was the best thing I’ve done for my life

[@adambuzzeo]

I've been watching this guy a long time, I do like most of his contest. But he sure does end up all over the place a lot of the time. It's almost like taking massive amounts of every kind of substance known to man isn't a good idea or something.

[@coonhound_pharaoh]

A casual person just viewing the titles of his videos can tell the drugs drive substantial emotional instability in his life.

[@floofynuggets]

Adam I feel for you man - what you're going through is hard, and I understand that you try to put a lot of your experience into the channel which is probably an additional layer of pressure. Don't forget to draw boundaries with the channel man, you don't owe us shit! Thanks for keeping us well informed on so many drug related topics all these years. What you choose to share is a gift. All the best with your journey.

[@philmaro84]

what you describe with Kratom is called Addiction, my man

[@nosiiskylla4889]

I rather be addicted to substance that helps me than substance that dont. And nothing from my doctor has ever helped.

[@a.-7774]

@@nosiiskylla4889I hope you find another solution to your problems

[@leoneforte444]

@@nosiiskylla4889it’s all about moderation and proportion and trying to keep it as clean as possible

[@User91050]

@@nosiiskylla4889 I think everyone addicted to a substance thinks it’s helping them.

[@stanpines9011]

​@@nosiiskylla4889 or just try to not be addicted to anything. constant intense highs and lows are not good for your mental state.

[@wardsnyder6319]

After the last few years struggling with a kratom addiction that has taken way more than it has ever given me i can say "fuck kratom, no aplogies."

[@gkawas6780]

Ditto that. I went back to it last week, just for a week, and quit on Friday. It’s been 3 days of that nightmare of withdrawing from it. Life just numbs down immediately when you live on Kratom, and then hurts and depresses when you’re getting off of it. Yeah, his problems might not be because of kratom, but this plant is serious stuff, and muddies all your life up without you even knowing

[@TheRealDJ-NEO]

i can not relate. It might make "healthy" people feel worse, but I am someone with extreme trauma in my past, and I used to be suicidal. I can honestly say kratom saved my life, as Adam said, it numbs you. Some of us start by being broken, and we need this numbing. I am just very glad I could quit weed, benzos and strong alcohol ( I was at one bottle of vodka/day at one point). Kratom took away my cravings for everything else, numbed my psychological pain way more than antidepressants every have, and even my psychiatrist is amazed of how I turned my life around and managed to build my own business and brand. All this thanks to Kratom. I can understand the double sidedness of Kratom, for some it´s a downfall, for others it´s a saviour. The key is: don´t take kratom for fun if your life is perfect, but if you start off as an addict with no hope for anything, kratom might be just what saves you. Many of us quit worse drugs with it´s help

[@niceblue7296]

It's not like that for everyone

[@DrownInLysergic]

Bruh, I take Kratom daily and have for years and the only thing it took from me is $50 a month for my monthly Kilo. You goofy.

[@graphicsfxcgy]

@@DrownInLysergic You consumed a kilo per month? Wow, I thought my 3-4 grams a day was a lot!

[@Angel-Otk]

This man’s life keeps me away from substances😭

[@royalmazan4216]

Lmfao

[@davidn8550]

Harm reduction indeed

[@bekeneel]

You're clearly not vulnerable to addictions then :) tho everyone is on some level.

[@projectnemesi5950]

simping for his ex I see

[@chrisakaschulbus4903]

His life kept me away from dangerous substances. Life is way to much like life when you're sober. At least i can be somewhat safe while doing so.

[@dylanlisnow9571]

Adam, I’ve been watching your content since I was 13. Im 23 now. Your old videos about lsd, mushrooms, and dmt got me interested in meditating and spirituality. Once I felt mature enough to dive into psychedelics, I had your content as a tool to stay safe while gaining eye opening experiences with these compounds that have changed my life forever. I feel at peace with myself and the world around me, and I tell people all the time that it seems silly, but psychedsubstance was the starting point to my spirituality and the exploration of myself. Thank you man. Your work has had a huge positive impact on my life and I just want you to know that you are making a good impact on this world with your content. Sending peace and love your way, always

[@Zagar099]

Seconded this. You made a large group of young people aware of purity and conspicuous/safe consumption. We all still wish you the best.

[@roddas26]

And even some of us old folk(48) watch for inspiration Adam. Wishing you well, cheers from New Zealand 🇳🇿

[@meistereder9135]

tf u talking about, this channel is like 8 years old

[@letrockonalternate]

I saw the title. Then I saw the first section was labeled "my apology" Finally, he must have realized the pain and suffering his childish ways have caused... or so I have though In my wildest dreams I wouldn't have thought he would apologize to KRATOM Adam you are a living parody. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried

[@headfullofacid8088]

Dude I know it’s insane. I kinda started watching because I am a former heroin user who started out experimenting exactly in the manner Adam was in the beginning and the morbid part of me wanted to see the train crash.

[@gonza360]

This video is absolutely ridiculous. Worst thing is look at all the comments, encouraging the guy, when drugs have literally destroyed his life and keep doing so. Very sad. I hope Adam gets better eventually, instead of having these great “revelation” moments every year

[@Staring4827]

every time he makes a video he completely changes the story almost completely, this guy lies every time he speaks. is nobody realizing this? its like every time he completely re-writes his story everyone eats it up every single time.

[@Psyched.Substance]

I’ve changed my opinion on Kratom. The only thing I lied about has been discussed - I lied that drugs had anything to do with my past relationship failing as I clearly pointed out here. As stated in the video - the reason I lied was that I wanted to take accountability for things falling apart. I blamed myself, I blamed my use of things like Kratom as reasons my life wasn’t in order. In this video I break down how I was wrong to do that. The fact is, I was in an extremely unhealthy relationship with no love. I was trauma bonded. Instead of seeing clearly that I needed to exit said relationship I used Kratom as a scapegoat and attempted to claim it was the reason things weren’t working out to gain some control over my life. The truth is things weren’t working out because of how I was being treated. I didn’t want to accept this. To accept it I would have had to leave. So of course it’s going to look like I’ve taken a 180. I’m finally seeing straight. My trauma bond is broken.

[@willielast]

This is what addiction experts mean when they say, "Even when they're telling the truth they are lying".

[@Staring4827]

@@Psyched.Substance I hope I'm wrong, from my perspective you just seem very manic depressive, ive followed you since i was maybe 18 or 19, just this year it seems like you have been uploading, deleting. rewriting things constantly. It gives your audience the impression that something else is going on or we arent getting the actual story. Yeah it was a wild time so it might just tend to end up like that regardless however I dont know you so i obviously am not aware of the actual situation but, I think you should hang back from airing your dirty laundry for the world to see, it's not healthy and not a good look. yes it educates but you need to worry about yourself foremost. The thing with kratom is back then you were saying how you were a hardcore addict to it, nitrous, adderall, putting a lot of stress on how it completely destroyed everything and you'd waste hundreds of hours just in that safety bubble, it looked legit to me because ive been there for 8 years and only just now got clean. That exact thing happened to me. now you are saying you werent even doing it that much and it wasnt having that much of impact on your life. those are very different things, i dont think you are straight up lying like my comment implies in a manipulative way, i just think you keep flip flopping on what you believe, I used to unknowingly stretch things and delude myself constantly trying to figure out just what the hell was happening to me, I'd dig myself a hole repeatedly, always coming up with new reasons and it would just leave me in some sort of self created hall of mirrors or whatever, it was hard to find the actual truth. Please do not forget how bad this stuff can be. It took me so long to realize what my problem actually was because all the things I would tell myself throughout the years. My point is changing the opinion on kratom can set a serious, serious booby-trap for yourself down the road, speaking from experience here. Sorry for the schizophrenic scatterbrained reply that probably has no real point behind it haha. Relationships can really screw you up just as much as drugs, glad you broke free from it. hope you are good, and I hope you got life by the balls now.

[@justinwhite3220]

Watch through his older videos as well as the ones on his other channel, he’s spoken many of times about his drug and alcohol abuse and the story is different every time. He is trying to do damage control and it’s not working. Actions speak louder than words.

[@gSWG3R]

Yup. It's a never ending cycle.

[@AmSharky]

i feel like this guy apologizes every other month

[@IchDuForeverExplorering]

Its cringe

[@OlympusAerial]

Rather that than people who can’t take any accountability

[@thebekmanz]

😐 I'll be honest with you, take a break. I've been watching you for YEARS. We all lean on things hard and I get it. Go do something that makes you genuinely happy and feed that inner you.

[@Psyched.Substance]

At which point did I say I’m taking tons of drugs? I didn’t bro. I appreciate the concern but if you saw what my life actually looked like on a day to day basis you’d be shocked. I’m not what you think. I spend my time with my children, I workout, and in the evenings I paint. I think I will make a “day in the life” video to clear things up.

[@siahtype359]

@@Psyched.Substance the title of your video is “I was really really wrong”. Your response to this comment shows you are still unbalanced. Going from one extreme to the next. Saying it’s was kratom that was to blame. Now saying you didn’t have love. Constantly grasping and shifting blame. Maybe the truth lies in a little bit of all of it. Don’t ever expect to have balance doing a channel about drugs and using drugs. Seems like you go back to mentioning your children. Regardless of how you provide for them financially or energetically. How must they feel subconsciously knowing there father was in a relationship where he didn’t feel loved. Kinda seems like a one sided blame like you didn’t feel loved. What’s her side of the story. Come on quit fucking around and grow the fuck up. You are lucky and privileged trying being humble and thankful it will go a long way

[@jayspitzuks2280]

​@Psyched.Substance you don't need to your channel has been built around this portray we need a man who knows what he's doing lol

[@kelaniparkinson3939]

@@Psyched.Substance no offence Adam but you did say you have come out of a swing of addiction at the start of this video

[@bontempo1271]

@@kelaniparkinson3939 i read 'swing of addiction' the exact same time he said it on the video. Wild coincidental timing.

[@flogoph13]

That’s called addiction buddy, to a T!

[@khdcraven]

right lmao, what he said about the mountain video just sounds like excuses to do shit

[@Lasagnabobby]

New psyched substance apology video just dropped. LEEEETS GOOOO

[@GodOfWhine]

I'm in the same boat man. I've been taking kratom for 4 years now and I'd be lying if I said the pros are worth the cons of daily use. At one point I was a huge advocate for it and was even getting involved in the legality of it and was contacting public officials on behalf of kratom organizations. A year into taking it I saw the cons. But I wasn't drinking myself to death anymore and I was the most "sober" I had felt since a teenager. It gave me the confidence to be more social and to take on new ventures. I went from a guy who avoided all responsibility to a guy with a house, a family, a car, and all of the obligations that come with acting like an adult for once. It became my morning coffee. It became the thing I had to do before I made any major choices. I attributed my growth to kratom and that is horrible thing to do with a substance because you will find so many ways to justify excessive use (nothing like the insane amounts I've seen people mention taking daily on reddit). It's not a kratom problem, it's a me problem. And I'm glad you çame to the same conclusion. Some of us just aren't able to have a healthy relationship with distractions. I don't even realize I'm turning something into a vice until someone points it out most times. Thank you for always giving us your honest experience regardless of where your head is at any time.

[@kdrizzle9671]

I’m glad you are seeing this now. I’ve been following this journey for about 4 years now. This is the clearest I’ve seen you and wish you the best

[@joshuah.4496]

Here we go again. Speaking from one addict to another, until you learn to fully take responsibility for your actions as an addict and be fully ready to use that accountability and be done with it you’re only going to keep going back to it over and over again. I just noticed a common theme with your past admission and apology videos where you never seem to fully take accountability for your own actions that lead you here, nor did you seem to be in the headspace of being fully done with it. So that explains how we got here. I really hope this time is genuine and I would really suggest you seek out inpatient or even outpatient rehabilitation to help you learn how to take that accountability properly and finally get clean for good

[@gonza360]

He doesn’t think his drug use is damaging, so he won’t.

[@joshuah.4496]

@@gonza360 yup! As soon as I heard him making excuses for Kratom again and “apologizing” to it for giving it a bad rap I knew it would be all downhill from here. I was horribly addicted to Kratom after using it to get off opioids and the withdrawals from it are absolute hell. He’s lying to himself and everyone else claiming it’s mostly harmless with no bad side effects. Chemical dependency and addiction is a side effect dude!! He just keeps flip flopping from one extreme to the other without ever actually getting the point and getting help. He needs to stop making apology videos and GO TO REHAB!!

[@IncredibleIceCastle]

@@joshuah.4496getting off Kratom improved my life significantly

[@liquidfylth]

It takes integrity to admit fault or past errors within ourselves. Much respect to you sir!

[@Psyched.Substance]

Thank you! If I’m sure of anything in my life it’s that I’ll keep making mistakes.

[@cammccarthy686]

​@Psyched.Substance just because mistakes are bound to happen doesn't mean we can justify letting our guard down friend. As an ex heroin addict you should start somethin else before it takes ahold of you more.

[@lntcmusik]

​@@Psyched.Substancebut making mistakes isn't something bad. In fact, it's just one way we learn new things. I'm thankful for any mistake I did in life. And watching you growing older and wiser definitely wasn't a mistake :)

[@Itsafairy.13]

Everyday use, multiple times a day, is in fact an addiction. I know I’m 7 months mf late but pushing the blame off of an obvious addiction isn’t the way to healing.

[@mantissmith5212]

"Made me feel held in a way". That may be the root of it! I think we weren't held enough as kids.😢 May we all go out and hug someone because we all need to be held, if not just for a minute❤

[@davidgarvin1889]

😢

[@tolleburg168]

i know you might not see this adam but ive grown up watching you and this video really spoke to me in an oddly synchronistic way. Really grateful for ya man you will be in my prayers.

[@LiftBTC]

dude ! same !!!! i thought i was the only fuckin one man . then i found your comment .

[@derekbootle8316]

"The reason my relationship fell apart wasn't the drugs"...think maybe the drugs and relationship fail have the same reason?

[@Wraiven22]

Kratom helped me get through so much anguish in a very tough time in my life, but like all drugs you have to respect it. It gave me several months of being able to get through the horrible life circumstances I was in, and I ended up paying for that with about a week of discomfort getting off of it. That was a worthy trade to me.

[@xMiyazakiAkira]

Kratom affects the mind like an opioid, as it is one (a partial agonist) and should be avoided completely if you don’t need it and are fine without it. It can mess your baseline levels up for several different things and is addictive even if you haven’t had trouble being addicted to substances in the past. Please don’t recommend it (unless maybe you’re taking it temporarily for pain from an injury or something or really really need it and have to choose either that or full agonist opioids). Can’t tell if you’re on it or not in this video.

[@2147B]

Kratom is a wonderful plant if you respect it. I've been doing quite a bit for almost 6 years now, recently switched from green only to red for the past month and my mental feels a lot better. I'm slowly weening my self and plan to stop. I will say in my personal experiences green enraged me, not all the time but prior to kratom use i never had a short temper. Respect the plant, and it will respect you. Edit: this has nothing to do with the point of your video but i've never shared my experience, and felt like it.

[@josiahz21]

Same here with the rage. For no reason at all. It could’ve been worse but I’d rather have a rage free life.

[@TheSpliffEater]

Opiates or opiate like substance can cause opiate rage it’s real.

[@dieseldaddy453]

It helped me with anger, but it also made me feel dead inside.

[@BillCoz]

Opioids can cause rage, and if you were to add benzos with em you can become a monster to those who have to put up with you daily..

[@oculamcram]

I feel it has as well to do with the Dose...and as well the Strain, the Red is as well better for me than the white...but yes I think even with cannabis I get rage Problems If I consume to much over the day, but yes kratom makes them much more

[@M.0-holdthis]

I really hope whatever your struggling with you get through it if I hadn’t found your videos when I started using substances me and all my friends would be strung out or dead somewhere

[@albyshinyfield8841]

You must live in a brain dead state

[@MTBJJ2001]

big facts

[@JaseekaRawr]

Yeah this is a solid channel! I first learned about testing kits even existing, from Adam. This is a valuable channel. Stay well, Adam & everyone else! 💪❤

[@PhreeX0707]

In my opinion kratom is comperable to codeine or tramadol. They're all mild opiods. What's common with them is that they are mild but effective. All opioids (even the hardcore ones) are not toxic at all (tramadol can caude seizures at high doses though). Their problem is that they all cause physical dependence, even the mild ones. But none of them are neurotoxic. Codeine overdose is something i haven't heard of. Most people don't get addicted to it but some will. However opioids do not shorten your lifespan but only if you're able to live normally and take care of your mental and physical well being. Fentany/Heroin/Oxyl users become ill for other reasons, like high overdose risk (passing out without being able to breath causes brain damage due to lack of oxygen), lifestyle on the streets, mixing other drug with them (crack, iv cocaine, meth) causes problems, homelesness and not being able to take care of yourself physically/mentally. And of course the impurities in street drugs play a huge role, including the tranq and benzo dope.

[@anecho489]

Before youre trying to convince us you dont have psychological dependency on substences try to make sure that you have convinced yourself, because its pretty clear youre doing some mental gymnastics on yourself to make it look like its ok and necissary for to keep using substences that the psych didnt precribe.

[@pricklycatsss]

I've been taking kratom for around 5 years for chronic pain. It's better than burning a hole in my stomach with ibuprofen or getting addicted to oxy which is way harder to get off. As long as I don't increase my dosage and take a tolerance break every month or 2, I still get the same effect I got before. Your tolerance only goes up really high if you keep increasing the dosage. Honestly the only thing that could be bad for your relationship is that kratom makes finishing during sex really difficult lol I always have to try to time my dosage so it wears off before my girlfriend comes over.

[@badcaseofstripes]

Facts my mom almost died from a stomach ulcer from taking 2-4 tabs of aspirin a day as an alcoholic, for headaches and tooth pain. Me and her both tried kratom and she's finally been alcohol free after 34 years. I'm very regimented with my kratom doses and I have very few issues, my only issue is running out.

[@terminaldeity]

@@badcaseofstripes "my only issue is running out" This statement right here is an issue. Really try to unpack what you said here.

[@jaredxr101]

being someone coming out of a stage of trauma and depression, it is so easy to blame yourself and not even be aware that you’re doing so. keep your head up adam, you’re strong.

[@citystars1117]

Adam is the definition of “look over there! Don’t look over here, everything’s fine.”

[@M0nkeyMang]

"Daily drinking isnt a problem for me! I only do 5-6 beers before driving, there are so many more hard liquors out there. Also the overdose potential is so low on 3-4 beers and the hangover isnt bad either. People who dont drink everyday dont get it. Im so sorry beer community"

[@ominousmvp395]

@@M0nkeyMang did he really say that and was this serious?

[@adamgreenhill110]

​@@ominousmvp395No it's a joke about how he described Kratom in this video

[@joexer1]

@@adamgreenhill110 Kratom is literally nothing. Adam isn't the first person to blame this mild drug for problems completely unrelated to it, there are entire communities around this stuff, for all sorts of things.

[@adamgreenhill110]

@@joexer1 Fair, I know nothing about Kratom. Just explaining what the other comment was about

[@pleportamee2596]

I don’t know man. I never experienced physical addiction to anything before kratom (excluding nicotine ) and kratom has been and continues to be an absolute nightmare for me. I’ve heard people say that quitting kratom is similar to quitting coffee….but I’ve never found myself unable to sleep all while writhing and convulsing in pain for 5 days because I skipped my morning cup of Folgers. It takes a while for it to reach that level but when it does, it’s absolute hell. I’m not the only one either….Im a part of several groups filled with people who are dealing with similar issues. Theres a bunch of other negatives associated with kratom use not related to withdrawal. Like any other opioid, it dampens your soul and takes away your ability to FEEL. Being disconnected like that affects things like empathy…which in turn can affect relationships. I’m with you on not blaming a specific substance on all your problems but at the same time, I don’t think the dangers of kratom should be understated. Is a person better off taking kratom than shooting heroin or using fentanyl? Sure. However, that doesn’t mean kratom isn’t dangerous in its own right.

[@maebee99]

This sounds e x a c t l y like me justifying every relapse I’ve ever had with Kratom.

[@raisnaix]

Dear God did I need to hear this! I don't have any substance abuse issues (and for a good bit now, no substance use at all ... caffeine included) at all but hearing what you had to say about control and blame spoke to my soul! For the I-don't-know-how-many-ith time, thank you for what you do!

[@shawnshrider3119]

Brave to point the finger back at yourself. Respect

[@albyshinyfield8841]

When you point the finger, 3 point back at you

[@ralfnuggs165]

He’s been pointing the finger at himself for like 5 freaking years now though it’s time to start, ya know… just growing up

[@sinxsideways5900]

​@@ralfnuggs165u clearly didn't even watch the video lmfao. He's human and subject to failure like u.

[@ImWithMe]

What? Did we watch the same video??

[@AmieDeLalla]

@@ImWithMeexactly what I’m thinking 🤔

[@SubhanArchived]

We’re here for your journey my dude.

[@shaggydude1226]

Why? Like why do you care to know what happens in his life?

[@JohnTitor20361]

@@shaggydude1226 Don't be rude he was being supportive. A lot of us have followed Adam for years and are invested in his story.

[@shaggydude1226]

@JohnTitor20361 I asked why, is that rude?

[@oxy_mwro]

@@shaggydude1226 why do people watch anything... also yeah a lot of people here care about adam.

[@shaggydude1226]

@oxymwro you're answering my question with another question I'm not trying to poke a bear... you're question doesn't answer mine either. I was just asking.

[@TotalKaosEntertainment]

This is like the 4th apology video I've seen in the past like two years.

[@ziggykesteven2425]

Hey man, You don't have to explain everything to everybody else. Just make sure you're truthful to yourself

[@Mrdogzunited]

Well said. Damn.

[@スミル日本]

Mistakes are meant to be made, Adam. That's how we grow as people. Failure is the greatest teacher. Glad you're not as hard on yourself and that you're better now. ❤

[@IndiAnnie1971]

100% agree! ❤✨️❤️

[@Psyched.Substance]

Thanks!

[@imma4016]

Being able to change one's opinion, especially publicly, is an increadibly difficult thing to do and is an indicator of true wisdom!

[@l.ronhubbard5445]

Publicly changing one's opinion to one more closely aligned with public sentiment is quite literally one of the easiest things one can do. And it's certainly not wise, there's a reason we teach children to resist peer pressure

[@gSWG3R]

This is an addict justifying reintroducing drug use - he's lying to himself.

[@nowhereet]

How long have you been clean? Once you live clean and keeps the progress , you will become vibrant and life feels limitless. Yeah no to junk foods and all drugs. If on drugs including alcohol , what you are doing is just tryin to escape the reality or numb it or forget it , rather than facing the problem and tryin to fix it . People on any drugs , looses clarity of mind , if you don't have clarity you will just wander around reaching nowhere . Some will say , ohh i am just doing this for once a while , the question you have to ask yourself is if you wanna Ascend or Descend . Drugs doesn't make our life better. It just makes us loose our mental clarity. Just think why pregnant woman are told not to drink and stuffs and eat clean and healthy.

[@amphibeingmcshpongletron5026]

Story time. I used to love Kratom. For me, I thought it was GREAT! It gave me exactly what I was looking for. Energy in the AM, relaxation in the PM. Loved to experiment with various strains and mix them. However, I started to up the dosage consistently, for months, until I was doing *at least* 15 grams a day. I know people who do a lot more, but 15g is still *a ton* in my opinion. The reason why I don't do it anymore is that, one day, I realized I was almost out of the monstrous amount I'd initially ordered. When I went to order more, my source had an issue with processing payment, so I figured I'd just do a REALLY fast taper down and just wait to order more. No big deal, right?...I had NO IDEA how intense the withdrawals were. I didn't sleep a wink for 7 days. Straight up. It felt like I was sleeping on cattle prods with a full body restless leg syndrome feeling. Maddening...I actually had to temporarily go on medication for RLS just to start sleeping again, to spotty results. My digestion was all messed up, my body hurt, I was a mental and emotional mess, really anxious and angry. Whole ordeal lasted about 2-3 weeks until I felt more normal. I figured that it must have really been altering my body and neurology in a profound way to produce withdrawals like that. I've had moderate alcohol withdrawals that were a breeze in comparison. I'd used Kratom recreationally in the past, but never with such consistency and high dosage. I didn't consider it a "drug" when I decided to get on it again. I actually started using it at that time as a replacement for alcohol to unwind. Eventually, I relapsed on alcohol during the height of my Kratom use...and I liked the combo. I also used weed with it. Neither helped stave off the Kratom withdrawals, by the way. Clearly, it altered me much more than I felt subjectively, day to day. I would drive and go to work on it. I never felt strung out or super high on it (though there were some evening binges where I got a slight nod going). I really didn't want to get back on it after that ordeal and potentially have to go through it all again. It was terrible. It made me have a lot more respect and compassion for people who go through more hardcore opioid withdrawals. I've been called a p*ssy or liar on forums by some users for sharing my experience, but, that's legitimately how it was for me. I have an incredibly addictive personality, so, I'm sure people could use it in moderation with almost zero side effects or withdrawal, but, I clearly can't. I was using it to excess every day for around 5 months, then stopped practically cold turkey. I started getting withdrawals the first day I cut my dose in half, then they just got worse once I was totally out within a few days. If anyone is thinking about getting off it, TAPER DOWN SLOWWWW...I'm talking like reducing your intake by a half a gram, every other day. My withdrawals really took a heavy toll on me. When I first got into it, I had heard people say there was NO withdrawal...Well, your experience may be different, but I went through the ringer.

[@Hoppelite]

I appreciate the advice man. I'm super addicted to kratom and its running my whole life. I feel like i cant live without it. I know i cannot stop cold turkey because the withdrawls are unbearable. The only way out is to cut down. But its even hard to do that. I'm gonna start measuring every dose i take and do what you say. Go down a half gram every other day. Rn i take maybe 8 gram doses 6-8 times a day. First ill work on taking smaller doses each, then work on taking less doses each day. Wish me luck. I fuckin need it

[@coldcloakmusic6630]

@@Hoppeliteblack seed oil and theanine help to take the edge off…good luck to you

[@amphibeingmcshpongletron5026]

@@Hoppelite Hey man, that's a BIG quit if you're serious about tapering. You can absolutely do it. The process doesn't have to be as painful as mine was, or previous attempts on your end were. What you need is consistency. Reduce your dose with the same thoroughness and care that you had in increasing your dose and ensuring you either got high or got by. Half a gram every other day is something you'll hardly notice day to day. If you want to cut more aggressively, at the dosage you're at, you can try, just be careful about cutting too much at once. You don't have to, it's only if you're feeling strong and not being effected by withdrawals. I would've tapered A LOT slower had I had the knowledge and foresight for what I'd end up going through. You need to take inventory of your supply and plan to have enough to fully taper down. I was sloppy and hasty. I didn't take it seriously and didn't have enough to taper properly. I ended up regretting it. YOU CAN DO THIS! Just be smart. Go slow. It's a LONG TERM GOAL. If you want a shortcut, you'll end up getting high like before when it doesn't work. Good luck. Truly.

[@amphibeingmcshpongletron5026]

@@Hoppelite 100% MEASURE THE DOSE. I did that every time, even before my laughable "taper", just due to my innate control freak personality. I knew exactly how much I was doing, every dose, every day. I'd use Japanese edible paper cones. They came with a cardboard filling tray. I'd tare the cardboard and cone on the scale, then I'd measure what I put in. Usually 2.5g-4g per paper cone. It's also how I figured out my favorite blends of different strains. However you intake your Kratom, measure it. If it's capsules (I hope not, at your dose), calculate the weight of an empty capsule and subtract it from the total weight, then multiply by the amount of capsules. If toss and washing, just use any empty small container or paper, tared first on the scale, and weigh the dose. You MUST WEIGH THE DOSE. This is the only way to ensure consistency and the most gentle way of quitting and avoiding withdrawals. Again, good luck. You got this, if you want it.

[@thethe4665]

Any updates?

[@uiopuiop123451]

Kratom is bad man, I finally was able to quit it after taking it for 5 years and my life has changed magnificently in a short amount of time. Please avoid using it unless you're taking it get off of harder drugs. It will turn you into a boring emotionless zombie eventually.

[@TryABaconSlice]

Getting very manic vibes from this one - and a healthy dose of denial and blame shifting. Hope your doing okay dude

[@gonza360]

He’s not sadly

[@SpiderCat420]

Yeah this ain't the first time he's uploaded a vid like this.

[@aegontargaryen573]

How bad were your withdrawals? I’ve been taking 10 grams a day for 6 years now.

[@TeaAndBunsMC]

Have you ever tried getting completely sober?? This cycle will never stop if you dont.

[@Psyched.Substance]

@@aaronmiles2802I’m actually not. I educate people on these substances. In reality I am a family man who spends his time doing things such as painting over drugs. My use is extremely limited tbh. I should make a “day in the life of” and shock everybody.

[@Psyched.Substance]

I’m not in a cycle anymore. Did you watch the video? I also don’t see my past use of Kratom as detrimental. I was being too hard on myself. The reasons for me taking it and the doses I was using had no negative impact on my life. I was simply wrong. As for alcohol I don’t drink. There are no substances which I take regularly/habitually. I don’t even trip more than twice a year. You guys have no idea who I am.

[@D..S..]

​@@Psyched.Substanceuh huh suuuuure. You're lying dude.

[@petsuper5636]

@@Psyched.SubstanceI may lie to myself but this is another level Adam😂😂😂😂😂.

[@allesistgesagt]

Daily kratom use often has a horrible kind of impact on social behaviour and all emotions. It is VERY DANGEROUS for the psyche

[@JaseekaRawr]

What do you mean by this 😳 I've been taking it for 3 years, daily. Large amounts, lol. I used it to get off hard 0piates I've heard some ppl have taken it for a decade & been fine. Just curious what you are describing 🙏🏻

[@allesistgesagt]

@@JaseekaRawr sounds like it is a great help for you, everyone reacts different. When I was using my emotions were absolutely overdriven leading to some severe downs. I did some really strange and some very antisocial things and often felt like not having any control in what i do or how i behave. I was a totally different person and gladly got back to my actual personality when i stopped using

[@allesistgesagt]

I couldn't find a way to express myself because my emotions were not mine and my face was numb and I couldn't act natural. It was horrible, almost like having a mind with no body plus a body without a mind. Also my thought processes were weird and unlogical

[@adriannamatos865]

@@JaseekaRawrMe too. I’ve a recovering heroin addict who struggles with major depression. When I got sober, I wanted to off myself. Kratom has helped me get through life. I was able to get off SSRI’s. I’ve never felt such a dark depression in my life until I got sober. The only problem that it has given me is hair loss. Do you notice losing more hair on it?

[@ISLAMICSTORIES13]

@@allesistgesagt same i was a totally different person. i actually went from kratom to fent and felt better on fent mentally at least. regular opiods are more benign in mental affects than kratom. but the physical effects are obv much worse. im on a very low dose of subs now and also feel better than was on kratom.

[@Robawho]

Anyone who has been around for years recognize this pattern where Adam hits a low and after a while of struggling he hits a peak and announces that it's all good and it's all fixed. He points up where the problem is and praises this new version of himself while looking back to the old Adam. This time it feels different though (maybe). I hope you will figure it out Adam.

[@Psyched.Substance]

It feels different because I am no longer in an unhealthy relationship with another human anymore ❤

[@virtual-adam]

@@Psyched.Substance 👍

[@samueldubik4418]

@@Psyched.Substance I appreciate the honesty, but maybe you should keep us in the dark about your personal stuff. Because by what you said in this video it's soo hard to give you the benefit of a doubt, in summary what it sounds like from my perspective as a viewer is pretty much "I thought being a drug addict was a problem and it damaged my relationship but now I figured out it's not a problem at all, the other person was the toxic one all along" I mean, it sounds pretty bad. You can't really go in the details, that would be unfair towards your ex, even if you would be comfortable with it. But with the gaps we have in your story it's hard to see your point of view from this video. With all due respect I don't mean to offend you, I grew up watching you and used your harm reduction advices for years. All my friends took those advices later from me and nothing bad ever happened to any of us. So... thank you, now go and figure your stuff out.

[@gonza360]

Yeah, it’s a classic addict behavior. He denies it though

[@SpiderCat420]

Glad I'm not the only old head around here who is noticing this pattern. ​@@Psyched.Substance, I've been one of your harshest critics for years, but honest to god, I BELIEVE IN YOU. I WANT you to succeed - that's *why* I'm such a hardass, lol. Do you believe in you? Fully, truly, and honestly? Do you? Personally, I don't think you're there yet. But I'd LOVE for you to prove me wrong. Be well.

[@jamesm-sl3oc]

I haven’t used any substances in like 4 years but I watch your videos because you’re real and I relate to a lot of the things you talk about.

[@countbooga6997]

I have been taking up to 3 OUNCES of kratom every day for the past 4-5 months, i had been a percocet addict for a whole year beforehand, i have no family besides my mother and she is extremely mentally ill, im watching her wither away and lose herself right in front of me and i am terrified to lose her. She always moved me around constantly so i never had any friends, its just me now with no support group. I grew up sleeping on the living room floor in one room apartments with my mom, spent years in foster care and in jail from age 10-15 so to top it off i never got to even learn social skills or have any guidance. Im working 70 hours a week as a bike delivery driver for jimmy johns, i have to work that much just to get by and its killing me so i take the kratom to keep myself from breakinf down and killing myself, i dont know where to go or what to do, i am 24 now and am facing a felony charge for a single pill i supposedly had on me 2 years ago after my exes friend set us up when we were going to hang out with her, this system and society has stolen so many years from me as it is, i am extremely traumatized and the governemnt wants to lock me up with murderers and steal my rights from me yet again. They wronguflly convicted me and stole 2 years of my life when i was 13, i finally started to get back on track and almost got to a point where i was finally happy again and then everything crumbled down on me again, the rich need more slaves tor their privatized prison plantations though and theyve gaslit the population into convicting the victims instead of the government officials flooding our streets with drugs or the pharmacists lying to doctors and paying them to get people addicted to opiates (perdue, pfizer) welcome to america, land of the cowards and home of the greedy. If they do end up convicting over an anonymous tip (which is illegal, mind you but im poor and lawyers require 3000$ upfront so im screwed) then im just going to throw in the towel. Sucks to see what youve been going through man, i feel your oain and understand how hard it is. I dont know why i even typed this out hut i needed to vent and have no one in real life so i figured this would be alright, least there will be a bit of me floating around on the internet if things do go south. Memento if you will. Much love to everyone out there going through it, it does get better eventually, as long as the suits dont decide to use you as a sacrificial lamb to the capitalist gods.

[@metyslav]

I'm so sorry for all that struggle throughout your life. You've been through a lot and I can't even imagine how hard it should have been. Hang on, it should get better sooner or later. Please, stay around and continue showing this fucked up world that you're much stronger than all this shit (you definitely are, considering you're still with us!). ❤

[@BugsBunns]

Watched your first videos almost 10 years ago as a curious teen who wanted to try psychedelics. After all that time, going trough hard times kicking out cannabis, opioids, cocaine and alcohol out of my life, I'm coming back to see your videos. And what I see is an addict like myself, that keeps excusing his use of those substances. Stopping completely is the ONLY answer. It really is. I found peace, now it's time for you to do so.... Going back, trough the positive and negatives, I would of never tried anything of that nature to begin with. nothing... It's all a waste. Enjoy REAL life. Real SOBER life.... Ups and downs are normal, learning how to go trough them sober is an important life skill that is never to late to learn.

[@trevorharrell7559]

Hey, just want to let you know you’re not alone in this. Kratom addiction was weird for me. One day I’d think it was helping and I didn’t want to go without it, and on other days I’d be questioning if it was causing a lot of my problems. I too was using a mix of things including Kratom to cope with trauma and emotional pain, as well as some severe physical pain. Tried to quit several times without success. It wasn’t till I could get to a place where the pain was manageable without it that I feel like I can successfully quit all my bad habits now, and do some real healing without reaching for things to numb me. I can’t blame Kratom or alcohol or weed for my problems, but the addictions and overuse got pretty bad before I just got totally disgusted with who I was becoming as a person. This self loathing along with the birth of my first son finally motivated me to make some serious changes and quit my addictions. Good on you for getting off the stuff and staying off so you can heal from the trauma in your life. And thanks for encouraging others with what you’ve learned.

[@LaurenceGill2000]

Bro can you just exist as an entirely sober person that has ups and downs in life but accepts that as an inevitable, natural part of our journey rather than just taking something in response every time. Why the fuck is that always your response smh

[@C00P_DUP313]

Idk if it’s just me but Adam sounds speedy. I don’t know if he’s really talking from the heart or if he’s really off amphetamines, or what not. Nonetheless, I’m not hating on him. It just seems weird from him.

[@noise28]

This channel is sad to watch after being here for years and coming back to him obviously in a half in half out denial about his addictions.

[@OffDaAveTV]

the intro hit so close to home 😂😂💯🤦‍♂️ rooting for you bro 🙌

[@KoltenTVC]

here we go again

[@antony1397]

It's a vicious cycle, but that's how it is for addicts

[@orionkahn832]

Aspire loves me

[@pricklycatsss]

Every day/week/month/year I realize how dumb I used to be in the last one. It never ends...

[@juano.9280]

@@pricklycatsss retweet

[@sadhu7191]

He had to talk about it cause the the comments are just crazy. Haha

[@sadhu7191]

Some call him drug addict, others are happy he is better haha

[@markrenton5276]

💯 on pho nem

[@angelahead8327]

You said you tried everything to save your relationship…did you try getting totally sober?

[@Psyched.Substance]

Several times. As stated - substances had NOTHING to do with it. I’m being vague because it’s not my place to share personal information about another human. But I will say this - I was never treated how I deserved to be treated. When I say it failing had nothing to do with me I truly mean it had nothing to do with me.

[@angelahead8327]

Sorry Adam not trying to come at you. I’m only saying this with love as someone who is 16 1/2 years clean and sober from drugs and alcohol. These substances are only SYMPTOMS of a deeper issue…and getting to the root of them while abstaining from all mind altering substances is really healing for all aspects of life, especially relationship with self and others.

[@oudonbail]

years of watching your channel, all of your ups of downs are from drugs and using them. Plus you love to justify or distance yourself from the consequences of your actions like the mental ups and downs from taking drugs , either by saying its from trauma or straight denial. "its not my fault"

[@edmundpope6415]

Lmao so true 😂😂😂

[@SmitingBots]

Im 5 years sober from a fentanyl addiction that lasted for 4 years, so my entire adult life , iv told myself everything your telling yourself.. you might need some professional help to find the root of your addiction and deal with it in a healthy manner. One day at a time

[@luisitomina5331]

People with addiction pasts-is it common for an addict to be this much in denial for this many years? I’m honestly not someone who thinks it’s a big deal if someone gets on and off the wagon, it happens, but is this pathological inability to admit drugs are bad and his addiction is intense a common thing? Because I swear it seems unusual

[@DayDream-RR]

Such a suspicious vibe in this video..I tried kratom.. the small recommended dose rocked my world for a while, then it didn’t. So we went from 2 pills to 3 then 4 etc etc. Until I was taking 8 capsules (4g), 3 times daily. But of course all the kratom users say “Oh I don’t take as much as (enter name).. “ Slippery road.

[@wefgengneon]

they only reason you say its not that bad is bc you already lost your hair. im a male over 30 and everytime i take kratom the whole week after i loose hair like hell😂 kinda good bc that really keeps me away from taken it more often

[@hypergraphic]

Thanks for being open and sharing your journey. Embracing accountability is a key part of responsible drug use.

[@howel080]

I'm an addiction doc, I have had a number of patients who have really struggled with kratom addiction. So would not call benign. It is lot safer than opiates for sure. It's like any substance. Need to use responsibility and respect the substance.

[@efmamjjasond99]

this video has a really weird point. the first half is a nothing burger of half baked ideas to justify adiction. however,im glad that you opened up on your suffering on the second half of it, that was precious. rewatch this in a couple of years, this is not what a person whos grown out of his pain sounds like. i hope you find the love you deserve. if you need a break, take it

[@AmieDeLalla]

This is denial and gaslighting. Adam wake up!

[@Jez166]

Dude, the way you talk about this sounds the way an addict tries to justify their use. Just because you're functional doesn't mean you aren't doing harm.

[@blakehydra]

the only thing kratom did to me was a slight energy boost for about an hour but that hour became really enjoyable until it was everyday and that slight boost wasnt a boost anymore it was to be my old self

[@TatoAV]

With the facts I have I'm pretty convinced of what happened, here's my educated guess: It's funny how Adam explains (in a Reddit post) that she left him out of the blue after 10 years, women never do that without a reason, and while it can be an affair or something like that, what I've noticed is that they usually communicate their needs until they feel like they're not going to be heard, at which point they start becoming distant and less talkative, this usually makes the men feel like everything is fixed because she's not complaining anymore, but during that period she's already grieving the relationship and if things stay the same they will leave the relationship with complete certainty and not go through such a bad breakup as the man, because they already went through part of the breakup process in their minds. The men will then say that she's acting like a stranger and they're blindsided. I don't think it was an affair because Adam says this exact same thing, he's not saying she did something unforgivable or incredibly hurtful, Adam just mentions that she was just cold and blindsided him. He probably feels strongly about this after noticing that, as he mentions, she left to continue her life as if nothing had happened, what he doesn't understand is how girls go through breakups/divorces. I remember that in [probably now deleted videos] Adam mentioned that she was unhappy with his drug usage... And of course she was, he is constantly rotating through a wide variety of drugs, he has extensively used some with potential severe side effects like impulsive/agressive behavior and erectile dysfunction (steroids), or damaging his brains' reward mechanisms making him unproductive and unmotivated (many, mdma as an example, he has confirmed feeling this way and that's why he started using steroids) just to name a couple. He also confirmed in his comment a compulsive use of high amounts of 'softer' drugs like kratom, alcohol and nitrous... (yes, those are high amounts if you're taking them daily) Yes, you can use those and lead a normal life, but you're going to feel like a different person to her when you're frequently taking substances that will gradually change you in small ways like being less productive. Girls are very attracted to seeing their man active and always on a task, and (I'm talking from experience) they'll inevitably feel grossed out when their man is on a low point, even if they're being supportive and committed, they're not going to be as attracted. They're also incredibly sharp with detecting moods, behaviors, mannerisms, and those social things that their brain is proven to be specialized at. Now Imagine having someone like that, who has a clear history of abusing even moderately addictive drugs like mdma or weed, and who also has a history with hard drugs and other shady things like an extended relationship with an "escort", and to top it all off, knowing that this person is willingly letting millions of people intrude into that mess to finance/profit off his bad habits instead of seeking therapy. And the cherry on top is that they have a kid who has to grow watching him do this while their brain is developing, this kid who is now a very young mother at 19 probably has followed a lot of his bad behaviors including drug use, she also had to grow around Adam's roster of friends who I'm sure are all very strong role models. The mother of course must have been both sad and angry about this situation, even more given how hard it would be to leave a very long relationship and go off on her own in this economy. So it's not surprise that she mulled over this for probably years. Girls brains are rebuilt in many ways when they get pregnant and go through motherhood, so they can become a very different person in a short time. She may have been more on board with his crazy lifestyle before but changed her mind as her kid grew and she started to wish for a more stable environment. He said he was coming clean after what happened, it's not that easy even for a standard addict, I can't imagine how complicated it would be for someone who has been on something (usually multiple things) for decades, only time will tell but I'm sure his ex didn't want to hang around and see if he could, and it's not like we can blame her. He's responding to comments about abusive relationships but he's incapable of fully reflecting on the situation even when he has said many times that drugs are ruining his life, what a mess to behold, but I truly feel for poor Jasmine.

[@realTonySvo]

Hello, future Tony here, in two years, we get video: Quitting Kratom again, lets do it!

[@cor.tenebrarum]

Saying "sorry" to a drug doesn't seem sane ;D

[@LowkeyFish]

every time he gets addicted he gets another video out of it!

[@EllisHudsonn]

Hi lowkeyfish 👋

[@LowkeyFish]

@@EllisHudsonn waddup

[@lolalaise4530]

I miss when this channel was just dmt experience recounts, not wa wa I’m an addict.

[@dirtysploof5890]

lmao fr dude He's too far down the rabbit hole

[@sacha2545]

I'm not comfortable with demonizing drugs like ISSR and besides that over-emphasizing psychoactive plants. Having tried both, the ISSR saved me (I'm so much better that , cannabis saved me as well but caused more harm than of course the long term (demotivation, anxiety, irritability due to withdrawal). I'm so much better than any time in my life, I've been depressed all my life. It's not a miracle pill but my shoulders are much lighter, I have less anxiety and that without being high, without having my thoughts altered, without running away from my problems. And you know what ? Made me realize how much I could run away with the dope I would really like people to understand that we shouldn't oppose everything, like plants were a good solution... which is completely wrong for many people

[@WeLoveComics]

The only way to fix a problem is to realize you have a problem.... love Comes from within good sir, you cannot get love if you cannot feel it in yourself... let go of the worries and trust your journey is where it needs to be... all things end so something new can begin. So look forward to what is to come... all the best

[@Gluee231]

Hi Adam, I have watched your videos for a very long time, I began watching when I was around 16 and now I am 21 and have always promoted drug safety and have tried to help keep my friends and myself safe. I found your Kratom video when I was 17 and I was intrigued with the drug so decided to try it to help solve my social anxiety, thinking it was similar to something like coffee, like a weak, confidence boosting stimulant. I took it for the first time (1g) and immediately my expectations were proven completely wrong, this felt like what I imagined your standard painkillers feel like such as codeine, percocets etc. I knew that this was not the right road to go down and I didn't take it again until lockdown came around. Lockdown was so lonely and miserable for me and in this dark time I remembered the Kratom I had bought long ago was still in my desk drawer, I decided to give it another go and quickly became hooked and began using it every day to cope with my loneliness and boredom. It felt like a warm hug in this abyss of misery and hatred I had encased myself in. Coupling Kratom with nicotine propelled my addiction further, the synergistic effect of both Kratom and vaping was complete bliss and I would sit around for hours playing video games, drinking Kratom tea and smoking or vaping. 3 years (and several attempts of quitting) later, and I feel like I've been hollowed out and left with nothing but a kratom addicted zombie brain and I feel almost like Kratom is the only friend who truly understand my problems, but takes everything from me at the same time. I know it doesn't sound like much but I'm on about 2.5g a day, a tiny tiny amount compared to most addicts, I may be incredibly intolerant to Kratom I'm not sure, but a 1g dose is all I need to get a desired effect, and I still feel incredibly damaged by this substance even at this very low dose. I don't blame you at all for this, I believe that I read into information I wanted to hear to coax me into trying this drug and chose not to listen to the risks, but I think there needs to be more information on the potential risks and highly addictive nature of Kratom, I certainly would have benefited from this. Don't get me wrong, Kratom can be extremely helpful for addicts to stronger opiates and people with chronic pain etc. but for people who just want to try this drug recreationally, I don't think it's worth it or safe in my personal experience. Love your videos, your guide to mushrooms video allowed me to effectively trip sit my friends who took shrooms and we all had a great time, without your info I would have been clueless.

[@ottokarvonschnallenburg2572]

I can't be the only one who sees the pain in his smile?

[@Psyched.Substance]

No, I see it too. Lots of pain.

[@SixOhThreeSam]

Dude im glad you realized all of this. Not that it really bothered me, it was obvious you were going through it like we all do. But for your own sake I am very glad you've made these healthy realizations bless you man hope you have a fantastic life

[@drowningincats3921]

I’ve had a chronic pain disorder for over a decade. Docs went overboard in the beginning and gave me strong painkillers AND benzos (to work as a muscle relaxer rather than for anxiety). Got to the point I was taking a ton of pills every day (not abusing my meds. Never ran out early. They had prescribed these ridiculous dosages) and I felt like a slave to them. Long story short, Kratom was 100% the reason I went from 7-10 painkillers a day to 1. It saved my stomach and my liver from a ton of damage. It helped me lower my opiate tolerance drastically in a fairly short period of time

[@DrunkyMcdrunkerson]

I totally get it bro.. I used herion to cope with losing my wife. I know horrible idea. I'm paying for it now cause addiction is no joke! I'm working on bettering my life and will keep ya up to date!!

[@wasneeplus]

Godspeed!

[@Hayssss]

I hit 2 years clean from benzo's / opioids a week ago. I don't seek praise , i only wish to show someone out there its damn well possible I remember that video. I was early into my sobriety

[@thethe4665]

Congrats and thank you for the hope 🎉

[@rafaelstabile2387]

Just like the comment above, all I have to say is thank you cause it's really hard to see my way through. Congrats on that. Keep on bro

[@Hayssss]

@@rafaelstabile2387 hey, you got this. I'm proud of you for fighting back.

[@Hayssss]

@@thethe4665 I hope you are still going strong. You got this, if you break, we go agane.

[@Pr1ZM0]

Every year I look back and realise what a child I was. Every damn year. Big up Adam. Long long long term viewer, ex patron. Love to see you grow x

[@chrisakaschulbus4903]

But why do you look back at all? Why wanna be better than [last timestamp]? What's the reward?

[@Pr1ZM0]

@chrisakaschulbus4903 Excellent question. A marker, a guide, a history. Every day, we are wiser than the last. A view or illusion of progress!

[@chrisakaschulbus4903]

@@Pr1ZM0 I got into bikepaking. The work is pedaling and the progress is distance. Am i doing it to get wiser or grow? Maybe... but main reason being the average length of a human life.

[@Pr1ZM0]

@chrisakaschulbus4903 more power to you my dude

[@Mikey_Anthony]

Thanks for sharing bro. You seem much “lighter” now. I also struggle with being way too hard on myself. Just remember you’re doing the best you can, & that is enough.