I was STUNNED - Chalk Outlines - Ren X Chinchilla

[@srogers500]

Could you imagine a masterpiece like this getting the heart and soul ripped out by autotune? I think the musical culture of the world is about to get a RENaissance.

[@pobsdad]

If it was "perfect" it would be ruined! It's the imperfection that makes it perfect.

[@ngtflyer]

I really hope so. Part of what makes Ren's performance so good is all of those little "imperfections".. That's called human element which is a very important part of music. At one point, Ren slightly loses time in his guitar playing. It's part of the beauty of this piece. Human element. Modern music production removes every bit of the warmth, dynamics and human element in music. Ren is proving that none of this is necessary. Just talent and a great song.

[@srogers500]

@@ngtflyer It's inspiring stuff. The message he puts into the world is beautiful. The music is transcendent. I'm a metalhead musician from way back in the day and now I'm learning about production. Ren's approach to music is beyond anything I've ever seen. It's crazy to hear Hi Ren, Chalk Outlines, and Losing it. Three songs that are so different, but still connected. It's like Pink Floyd, it's music that hits the brain, heart and soul at the same time. I think he could be this generation's guy that changes everything.

[@MaddatMatt]

There is a “perfect” version with auto tune like reverb and full production value. Nothing wrong with it but … big but. This is the version that sits proper… the closed concrete jungle reverb

[@puppenbuhnebauchkribbeln1183]

YESSS 💙👌🏼!!!

[@joshuawiedenbeck6944]

It's important to note that REN has a lot of happier songs as well. Don't dwell solely on his sad music. It's important to see that people who face such hardships are also capable of being happy. "Love Music" 1, 2, and 3 are great.

[@MrAndiron]

Ren - Bittersweet symphony. About life in Britain, fairly happy! Another gem ☺️

[@adrienne1958l]

BONGO BONG , Ren and the Big Push . Pure fun.

[@frederickstudenheimer3378]

I enjoy ren-power the most.

[@dennisvernonhaydock]

@@adrienne1958lBongo Bong and Englishman in New York are two songs I prefer The Big Push covers over the originals. I'm not saying they're better or worse. Only that I like them more.

[@CleddaSrh]

I dare someone to listen to “What You Want” and not be happy. That song and music video scream fun!

[@AmarnaJenniferWhitehouse]

I was a district nurse for many years in the UK, helping patients and their families deal with mental health problems... dementia mostly. Then had an accident where I injured my back, had to learn to walk again and lost my job through it. The same hospital I used to work for now gives me strong pain meds and psych meds... increasing it twice a year or more due to the fact my body learns to tolerate the lower doses so fast. They tell me to take them even if I am having an ok day... just in case. So this song hit home for me in many ways. I have been following Ren for many years and loving the fact the whole world will hear him now and what he has to say. He has created his own unique genre! You feel his hurt and his passion through his pieces of art. So when I saw you are a Psych nurse I had to watch your reaction. Spread the word and love for Ren! Have a great week all.

[@beckyl4441]

"just in case" wouldn't that be why people become tolerant of drugs? Taking crap you don't need at the time and your body gets use to it so when you need it your body doesn't react because it's just the norm.

[@AmarnaJenniferWhitehouse]

@@beckyl4441 That is true in so many cases. Although there are also many cases alike my own, that had to take the meds otherwise it would have been a lot worse medically, physically and mentally. I was determined to walk again and not have a bag attached to my side because of certain injuries it had caused. They said I wouldn't be walking by my late 30's but here I am at 50 and still on my feet... well most days! I was misdiagnosed with one thing and they gave me meds for that 'condition' but then years later found out it was something completely different! So I had to stop certain psych meds which caused me more harm at that time. Glad I am over that part now! But like I said, this song rings true for me and many others I would guess.

[@donnakawana]

Thanks needed just this whole thing.. I quit my meds... It took my soul which I want to keep!! Struggling but surviving.. grateful for Ren an his voice.. so many ppl suffer in silence cuz mental health used to be hidden... Tho it wasn't... I tell everyone there's no gateway drugs the only gateway drug is Trauma. Undiagnosed trauma which I self medicated til I died.. now super sober.. I am here Friday I get my government flat... I am homeless cuz of fire.... Grateful for trying each day... Luv ya ✌🏼💗😘🫂😘

[@joshuaanderson1197]

When I was put on psych meds and anti-depressants, it just killed all emotion. I couldn’t feel anything. I used to complain to my wife that I was no longer me. I was a hollow shell. A complete shadow of my former self. I understand and identify with this song so much. I stopped taking medication. I continued seeking help but refused all meds. I eventually got better without them. Subscribed

[@daniellebrooks1611]

My sister went through that. At first she was excited saying she didn’t feel/care about anything & they mellowed her out. A couple months later she stopped talking them because she literally felt nothing!

[@MikeR_NZ]

Check out their other song "How to be me" it touches on those subjects.

[@paulstuart862]

I know that feeling all too well, actually ended up separating due to who I became on the meds, I also feel it lingers for while and not sure if you ever get back to who you were!

[@joshuaanderson1197]

@paulstuart862 It definitely does, and no…you’ll never be the same. It darkened me. I was never as vibrant or colorful as I once was.

[@joshuaanderson1197]

@daniellebrooks1611 I do hope she is doing well. Sadly, the mental health system, while not entirely broken-does need to be revised. Most psychiatrists I dealt with, never actually cared about what I was saying. They would just throw meds at me and shove me out the door.

[@Rynne-zn1cg]

This beautiful man is singing my song - Chinchilla's sip of serotonin resonates so strongly. I interpret the chalk outlines to be not just what's left of yourself after meds, but also the idea that suicide is close, but on meds we walk within the outline of it. The ideation doesn't go, it just becomes a numb, empty space - with the chalk a framework for our 'life'.

[@psychoslingers8732]

That gallows line gets me every time. I know that severely overwhelmed and helpless feeling all to well.

[@naturalwhitch]

It makes me gasp even after hearing it more times than I can count

[@craigevans8912]

I’m with you, from personal experience I absolute can relate to so many of Rens’s lyrics

[@notanormi]

Yes! He has a way to draw us in and FEEL the scene he is setting! I find myself holding my breath every time I hear it. I have the exact same response when he sings, " Some people know me as hope. Some people know me as the voice that you hear when you loosen the noose on the rope!" He takes my breath away.

[@alightvlogging]

@@notanormi exactly! so many reaction videos miss the power of that line. It hits like a runaway train for me, but maybe you have had to be at that level of desperation, so the only way out you can see to end the pain is to end everything, before it hits so hard.

[@Kay_The_Coffee_Weirdo]

Same. That line hit me the hardest.

[@NativeNYerChicHK]

Medication certainly saves lives, but they were giving Ren meds to combat depression and psychosis brought on by the decade long misdiagnoses of Lyme Disease and instead telling him that his mind was conjuring up the physical pain he was telling them he was in. He was stuck in a cycle of mental help, but what he needed was physical. That would drive anyone mad.

[@NilZed1]

The saddest part. The pain and other physical symptoms was depressing enough, but to be constantly told you were imagining it and given drugs he didn’t need? He’s really strong to have made it through to a proper physical diagnosis.

[@jadecawdellsmith4009]

@@NilZed1 if he was going thru psychosis then I would say he needed the meds

[@NilZed1]

@@jadecawdellsmith4009 he was receiving drugs for other mental health conditions, that he didn't have the Lyme induced psychosis came later because the Lyme wasn't treated sooner.

[@jadecawdellsmith4009]

@@NilZed1 Im unaware of what meds he was given but he has said he was hearing voices @ 8. Sounds like he's had bouts of psychosis 4 a while & I can c y they'd give him the meds 4 that. Sucks they missed the Lyme disease but it could b its not recognised where he's from. It's the same here in Australia, our ticks don't carry it so drs don't look 4 it.

[@NilZed1]

@@jadecawdellsmith4009 as a child, he experienced the voice some people with ADHD do. I've never read that he was medicated for any of his ADHA symptoms, but it's possible mental health issues and chronic fatigue and other conditions they treated before the Lyme disease was finally identified. Lyme disease isn't as deeply embedded in the UK ecosystem as it is in the US, and that is probably part of why they missed it. I've never heard whether or not he knew he'd been bitten by a tick in the first place, and if that also contributed to the delay.

[@ktwhimsy6946]

I love that you pointed out the “cracks” in his voice - it’s emotional, it’s human, it conveys the feeling behind the words… it’s not an insult, it’s a testament to his artistry that he sings this way - with all that vulnerability. That’s why we feel it too & connect with it so much ❤

[@shurhaian]

In my high school years, there was one girl who, both in singing and with the flute, aimed for technical perfection. There was another student (in this case a boy) whose flute playing left more of the quavers and warbles in. The latter was definitely more enjoyable for me to hear, even playing the exact same song. A voice or an instrument that's too "perfect" loses expression and becomes lifeless. It's the flaws, the deviations from the "ideal," that really carry personality and emotion.

[@ktwhimsy6946]

@@shurhaian I agree entirely! Although I understand different folks get different things out of the music they listen to, for me it’s all about the emotional connection & the way the artist conveys their experience… I dated a guy who couldn’t understand why I liked a lot of music that wasn’t technically “refined” (he was a very good technical guitar & piano player himself) because what he got from music was the appreciation & application of skill. I actually remember it making him very uncomfortable to listen to music/artists that conveyed strong emotions … I found that very interesting.

[@Nonniewantsmore]

“Perfectly flawed voice”. What a wonderful way to describe him. I completely agree. So beautiful and emotional. ❤

[@user-wm4kb7ll2v]

I absolutely love Ren's voice. It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

[@karmen181]

@@user-wm4kb7ll2vpatience is probably my favorite and the one he did for the unrest documentary is so raw and so breathtaking

[@jeffstumpf9129]

How could you not insert yourself into the music? That's what great music does for us - yes, this is Ren's story, but it affects us. The artist creates it and releases it into the world, so to speak. We bring our own experiences when we share in someone's artwork.

[@naturalwhitch]

As someone else who was misdiagnosed for 25years, I always interpret it as....your desperate for help and begging to be heard. The medication helps a bit but you just get more and more lost. I know personally, I couldn't understand why I wasn't getting better, despite doing everything I was told. The stress and constant feelings of failure led to breakdowns. I was just a person shaped shell. I was finally diagnosed at 40 and the relief was immense. I have proper medication which helped massively, but so much damage has been done. For Ren, 10 years of untreated Lyme Disease has resulted in the myelin round his nerves and brain being eaten away..... It's hard not to lose part of you, When you constantly wonder what could have been and what opportunities were lost. That's my opinion anyway, I'm a believer in medication and happily take it....but when it comes to mental health it's so hard just to get people to listen.

[@fredrikpettersson2072]

Hello from a psych nurse in Sweden ❤️ I'm so glad Ren has moved on to a solo career even if I also like Big Push, but Ren is great at illustrating the messy world we live in with mental illness ❤️/Fredrik

[@nickforell1]

Thank you Fredrik for what you do too!

[@crunchydragontreats6692]

@@nickforell1 If you take this level of intuition and empathy with you to work, your patients are fortunate to have you there with them. Grab your ketchup and crunch away my friends.

[@aditsu]

It's fascinating how everyone has slightly different interpretations and gets slightly different takeaways from Ren's songs. Probably colored by their own life experience. And they're all valid. That's great songwriting.

[@MrCBTman]

I’m a fellow psych nurse who’s worked as a community-based therapist for the past two decades. While I feel much more cynical about the current system and model of psychiatric Tx than you appear to, I do really appreciate your caution and tact when speaking about these issues. Cheers, sir.

[@NoCanDu]

I agree with you about meds. I was put on Prozac in my early 20s. It was great for about a year. I realized I no longer cried, no longer was “touched” by beautiful art, music, etc. Nothing bothered me. I didn’t care about anything. I was walking around in a Chalk Outline. Stopped taking it. There are alternatives. On the other hand, I was given Imitrex for migraines around that same time and it saved my life to this day! So, yeah. This poor kid was suffering a misdiagnosis for a decade. I can FEEL his pain. That’s why I love him. That’s why the world is going crazy for him. I’m so thankful I have the ability back to be able to FEEL this way. ❤

[@deanc486]

Great reaction. For more human behaviour from Ren might I suggest The Jenny, Screech and Violets tales are a must watch. A trilogy that should be watched in that order.

[@dennisvernonhaydock]

Ren has combined the three tales, in proper order, into one "Full" version that's on his KZbin page.

[@JamesMiller-fz9ty]

Dear Nick, Thank you for your reaction and your take on this beautiful and powerful performance. Please pause and comment when and how you like. I am here for another perspective on this amazing artist's work. I love seeing your reaction. That is why I am here. I could easily just watch the original video but watching people like you react and give your view makes this much more rewarding to me. I have been saved by a flawed system and also been beaten by it at different times. Nothing is perfect. You work in a field that is changing and saving lives. I hope you feel good about that because you should. Thank you for what you do and thank you for your perspective on the Run works I have seen you react to. Chin up mate!

[@jaypeew394]

There's something about her movements and singing that goes straight through my heart. Then when they sing together... im gone... Such a moving video and song. Just wow.

[@Apollo.Rising]

Thanks for the beautiful heartfelt reaction, this song hits deep for me as someone who's lived as a chalk outline both with SSRIs and then weed. I love how you put it that his voice is perfectly flawed, it's what I love about it, it's just so unique and raw and textural.

[@hansjohansson7111]

Thank you Nick, this was a great reaction. I think Ren is someone much needed just now. He give a voice to peoples struggeling and I think many feeling that.

[@nigelstuart756]

People in your profession are in great demand and I'm sure you are doing your very best to help those in need. Thank you. Ren has come along to help ease your work load, by connecting with people through his music in such a way that it has healing properties in itself. Given me a new positive outlook for sure. Great reaction. 😊👍

[@ananda-b3u]

I appreciate hearing you acknowledge that patients are sometimes not believed. I have had a myriad of physical symptoms brushed off as anxiety and told to seek therapy but eventually one doctor actually listened and found several chronic physical illnesses. I’m so grateful to mental health workers for what they do. Some of us really do need medical doctors to be more curious and diligent in examining our symptoms before sending us for psychiatric treatment. Love, LOVE Ren and his duets with Chinchilla are just phenomenal! Really enjoying all the reactions and interpretations of this music.

[@NoraMorgan]

Thank you for such a vulnerable reaction. It means a lot.

[@nickforell1]

My pleasure 😊

[@jukeboxdave6026]

Crutch is another amazing song ren and bibi many thanks love and respect from the UK 👍👍👍👍👍👍🌟😀😀 amazing channel 👍

[@daniellebrooks1611]

Yes! This one. It will make you feel the same as this. Maybe more emotional.

[@nickforell1]

Thank you so much!!

[@henry1294]

REN IS EPIC EPIC EPIC....How fortunate I am to have the pleasure to listen to his brilliance !!! Wow...I have no words!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@loadedorygun]

Sometimes you read into things that aren’t there, but Ren thinks of everything I feel like: I just noticed that Chinchilla essentially paces around him in an outline.

[@theinvisibleneonrainbowzeb2567]

I noticed on this watch through that her nails, I don't like they look like spikes, needles and take my attention too much but this time watching with a face in the corner reacting I took it in more, and I think they are maybe meant to be like that. Notice how when she is hunched down she does a motion that reminds me of when I have seen people, IVDU's, as she pulls her hand down and nods, slumps against the wall. A ghost that most people will at best ignore as they pass in the street. The outline of a person in a doorway, in an underpass, in treatment, in a coffin.

[@Shiroar]

Thank you for another heartfelt reaction ❤ Others have already mentioned it but I will cast my vote for Crutch feat. Bibi too. Also one that hasn’t been mentioned: freckled angels. An older song about losing his friend (to suicide I believe). Well… those are probably some of the most emotional songs… so let me just throw in some totally different suggestions too that show off Ren’s rapping skills and humour: The Hunger and Losing it (retake). In case you want to continue down the rabbit hole but need a break from the sad songs 😅

[@MalcolmMXTaylor]

Another great reaction vid that came from the heart. He does have some lighter music but it's tracks like this which focus on his journey!!

[@guttergods8735]

Very relatable for me. Diagnosis of spondyloepiphyseal dysplasia and Sheuermann’s disease. It’s a very difficult way to live. Also top it off with being immediately judged by the medication I have to take. I’m able to hide it pretty well because it doesn’t show its self visible. Other than being short (5’4). I’ve learned the hard way not to trust people with my diagnosis. Lots of betrayal. Luckily I’m blessed with a positive demeanor and A+ composure. I’ll say having self awareness and knowing when lying to yourself is so important. Honesty within myself is crucial. Loves and hugs for everyone dealing with any kind of struggle. Stay composed and be patient.

[@IronRaspberry]

Can’t wait! Please do Ren “Crutch” or “Depression” next.

[@nickforell1]

More on the way!

[@adam.4487]

YES YES YES gut wrenching yet so moving and important.

[@madcat528]

This always tears me up! Beautiful! I wish my son had a person like you. He's been fighting mental issues for years and gets no help.

[@nickforell1]

Sorry to hear about your son :(

[@danielharry1075]

I totally agree on the meds part which do make a difference in a individual case by case. Love your open honesty. "Floating/ghost in the chalk outline", feeling dead, depression. "Draw ourselves in the chalk outlines", killing us with habbits and addiction given the depression. "Erase ourselves from the chalk outlines", what left after a while, even death. I'm new and just subscribed as I feel you really care which is such a rare trademark to in humanity these days where everything is only measured in money. Man can i tell you stories... keep on going what you do, you inspire me.

[@Tessimistic420]

Can't wait, well actually I think I can wait to watch because I can? LOL here for #Ren and you always Edit: How to Be Me (Live) is hauntingly beautiful Gooseflesh EVERYTIME ❤️ anything with Ren and Chinchilla Live is pure 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Edited edit: 7:45am now what I mean by waiting lol

[@nickforell1]

Definitely a top tier commentary song

[@evolutionviii12]

A little known song, but deep af, is Crutch. That song, disgustingly, only has ~186k views.

[@Tessimistic420]

@@evolutionviii12 I've been listening to Crutch over an over this morning ❤️

[@thetalantonx]

8:36 - I like your interpretation, it's marking the space around the void where a person is supposed to be - chalkstick thin and hollowed out.

[@behinddreaming]

Your reaction helped me understand why I connected to this song - thank you 💙. I was very close to my Mother who lived many years with a chronic illness. The medication kept her alive but in the end it contributed to her death. The medication has changed for her condition in more recent years. Her life was not easy, she was in constant pain yet she was one of the most compassionate people I have known and she could make you laugh. Maybe this one of reasons Ren is resonating with me. This song is haunting. Your comments about his voice is true. I've grown up hearing singers who have a slight imperfection yet extraordinary emotion and power in their voices. I missed this with Ren because in a way he reminds me of these other singers.

[@MikeyPea72]

Nick your reaction was as raw and emotional as the song was. Nobody here expects you to carry the burdens of the mental health profession alone. We are here to support each other. Take care mt friend and thank you.

[@satoriivy175]

Thanks for reacting to this one. I lost my brother year ago to Suicide. He was hopelessly addicted to Opioids and suffered psychotic episodes from a TDI that was caused by a tree fall accident and far too many repeat knocks to the head. He knew he was losing himself bit by bit. He knew he was addicted but just couldn’t break free of his habit. What started as a legitimate medical prescription eventually consumed his life. At the end he was on a string of meds including anti-psychotics. I first discovered Ren three months after my brothers passing and immediately resonated with the themes he shares. I have struggled for decades with my own mental health crisis and suicidal tendencies and though I have made great strides in my own mental health recovery I needed a prism to process my grief. Also thank you for the work you do as a Psych Nurse. I want you to know that what you do is appreciated. This song in particular reminds me of my brother. RIP Zac Ivy.

[@nickforell1]

Thank you for sharing Satori, I'm so sorry you've had that kind of loss in your life.

[@hannahday1001]

Love your reaction/insights! Thanks so so much for sharing. I also really appreciate your stance on medication, and fully agree (as a chronically ill person, and working in public health). For me, 'floating chalk outlines' embodies this idea that medications, for both mental and physical conditions, often keep you in a state of 'surviving' rather than 'thriving' - on the cusp of life, but not quite there in the way you want/need/deserve. I find this particularly true for complex chronic conditions. Also separate note, it's so exciting to watch your channel grow so much even in the last few days! I can't wait to see where the journey takes you. Keep doing you - so many of us appreciate your time and insights so so much :) If you want videos showcasing his voice and his electric/bass guitar skills more, I suggest "Ren & Sam Tompkins - Earned it / Mans world / Falling" (singing / electric guitar while busking in Brighton), or 'The Big Push - Wade in the water / Nina Simone / Trouble so hard' (singing / bass guitar with his new(ish) band). I know you've got a long list of recs already!! x

[@dearydarling]

You're in a difficult job and your compassion makes you better at it but also makes what you do harder. Maybe a weird thing to say but thank you for not hardening yourself to the nuance. I've had people in my life whose mental illness put them in a bad bad way that NEEDED intervention. The episode was temporary (but dangerous to them and others) and so unfair to the most-of-the-time them. They needed help that they were not capable of getting themselves. They weren't able to make those choices. I've also been traumatized and misdiagnosed and gaslit by the system exactly like Ren except for over a decade. Left to rot and if i hear the word "Somatic" it's like my Bourne Identity sleeper word. I snarl up into a terrible rage. Thank you for letting this be uncomfortable and not dismissing those of us who do get failed while still trying to help the ones the system is able to serve

[@kellybailey1377]

Hey Nick, It has been so fascinating and educational listening to and reading so many people’s thoughts on the amazing and profound art that Ren is putting out there. I got into watching music and TV/movie reactions at the beginning of lockdown. I was stuck working from home, with not a lot of work to do, so I filled my time watching others enjoy media that I was familiar with. It brought me joy to experience it all again for the first time through someone else's eyes. I never thought this journey would bring me to a place where I was able to be more self-aware of my struggles with depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. At first, I only watched reactions to things I knew. If a reactor was watching a movie or a music video I had never seen, I would pass and wait for the next one. As I noticed more and more reactors posting videos of things I had never seen, I finally started watching the original work and then their reactions to it. It was the same with Ren. The first time I saw a thumbnail, I passed, but after it kept popping up, I realized I might be missing something good. I had no clue how much of an impact it would have on me. Ren's ability and willingness to share his thoughts and experiences and articulate them in a way that so many people can relate to is amazing. For me, the process of soaking up the experiences from so many people from so many walks of life was cathartic. I became more self-aware of what I was experiencing regarding my mental health. "Chalk Outlines" hit me hard. I realized that the meds I was on, while not causing direct harm, kept me from dealing with my issues in a way that would have a positive impact on my life moving forward. They kept me even, numb, complacent. I was a chalk outline. People still saw me, and I put on a Great Big Smile when they asked me how I was, but that smile was a sarcastic lie, to them and to myself. I was empty inside watching my life pass me by. Since I have, with guidance from my doctor, weaned myself off the meds, I can feel that emptiness starting to fill up. Now I am in the process of learning to be more self-aware of Mr. Intrusive and when he is trying to steer me in the wrong direction. I am not numb anymore. I understand that I am not fighting a battle. These things that I experience are a part of me and will always be there in some form or another. The emotional swings I have are greater than when I was on the meds, but I understand that it’s okay. Feeling anxious, down, scared isn’t inherently bad. It is all part of the human experience. With my new awareness, I can better help my psychiatrist help me. I can talk to friends and family in a way that allows them to understand what I am feeling instead of showing them that Great Big Smile.

[@alightvlogging]

I've been through the psych system and Ren speaks to and for me in so many ways. He articulates so well what I, at the time, could never do and he does it in a beautiful way. A chalk outline of myself is exactly how I felt when I was on medication and it took years before I was finally diagnosed and treated correctly (DBT for BPD works! all the meds ever did is plaster over the cracks and allow me to just function day to day) Don't worry about pausing, that is the point of reaction videos. We WANT you to pause, so we can hear what your thoughts are, we've all already watched the whole song and if we just wanted to just hear it all again we'd go watch it on Ren's channel. You'll never remember all of what you were thinking/feeling in that instant if you left the commentary to the end. I'm really liking your thoughts and the insight you are bringing from the perspective of someone on the other side of the table to the one I sat at. I think Ren's videos should be used in the teaching courses of all people involved in mental health treatment, they shine a light on how the patient is feeling when oftentimes all we were regarded as is a number. Do you think they would be beneficial? would they have helped you early on in your career journey?

[@NicksGotBeef]

Another great reaction. Ren is just so talented. If you wanna see more of his talents, check out his now disbanded band, The Big Push. I listen to their tracks on a daily basis. Can’t get enough of them. I just hope they get back together…

[@xdaniedx]

You don't EVER have to apologize for pausing and especially for giving your thoughts and opinions. That's why we tune in. To hear what others have to say, their experiences and outlook. If people complain about pausing they should just go watch the video on Ren's page. I never understood people who complain that reactors pause and talk. Everything you said in this reaction is spot on. From hours his voice cracks and the real feelings Ren is expressing, to saying meds aren't for everyone nor should they be forced on people. I myself a few years ago went to 3 different psychiatrist and almost right away they wanted to throw meds at me without hearing me out or knowing what I was dealing with. It made me stop going. And I'm paying for it because I'm not any better dealing with my PTSD, anxiety and everything else that comes with war, death, trauma and loss. But I know the right one is out there that wants to help and not just medicate me and not work on the root of the problem. Another amazing reaction and hearing what you say about meds and therapy honestly is the push I know I need to get my head straight. Thank you Nick.

[@zachhenderson7982]

This song makes me tear up every time. The emotion on their faces and the eye contact shows how much they feel this. Same with their other collab "how to be me" (live)

[@kirstycoetzee7662]

❤❤ Such an emotionally charged performance. Appreciate your reaction, interpretation, personal experience... and your vulnerability. (Makes my eyes water too 😉🥲)

[@melissacurtis9492]

Loved your review from your medical perspective. Ren & Chinchilla Rock like always!

[@nickforell1]

Thank you Melissa, hope to deliver more!

[@leanneh5293]

A masterpiece! Love your reaction. The Ren rabbit hole is a magical place to visit.

[@heathermurphy9440]

Your spot on with all that you're saying. I love that you work at a psych ward and have that experience and also understanding of us on the other side. Your doing a great job! 👍

[@Colleen_OH]

Ren's "Patience" is a beautiful song. It was used in a 2017 documentary called "Unrest" which is about M.E. (chronic fatigue syndrome). M.E. was also one of Ren's misdiagnoses. kzbin.info/www/bejne/aGmXppqkiMSlq7M

[@Microplancakes]

My goodness! Yes!! I discovered this song 3 weeks ago and haven't gone a day since not listening to this song at least once!!! It'simd blowingly beautiful!!!!

[@henry1294]

Yesss

[@st0lf]

It's so tough to have to acknowledge both sides. I've been in treatment and It's helped me loads. Being around professionals 24/7, in a safe environment changed my life. Medication didn't do much for me, but I suffered no side effects worth mentioning. The system really worked for me and I have a job now and am actually excited to experience life. At the same time though, I have friends who also went through the system, to the same clinic even, who felt completely abandoned and mistreated. Friends who were misdiagnosed, friends who were refused diagnoses that would give them access to the help they needed, friends who gave up. It hurts to have to admit that the same system that saved my life, the clinic I even recommended, has not just failed so many people, but even worsened their condition.

[@christilehman-starr4428]

Yay! You laid it all out there Love your emotion for the music From what I understand him saying about this song is that he felt dead inside, like the medication was taking his soul. There’s a line about it in the song. I loved the way you talked about what he might be feeling I know that meds help in so many situations He stated that he was told the psychosis was all in his head And he had chronic fatigue syndrome. Meanwhile the Lyme was eating his brain. That’s a tough one. They are trying to fix that now. A lot of good things happen with the meds. A lot of bad ones do too. My son was on gabapentin for a long time. He eventually needed to up the ante. He didn’t make it. It’s been 15 months since I was notified they found him. The whole medical system is in trouble imho. Doesn’t discount the good that is done. But it’s rough out in the trenches. I appreciate your posting your thoughts ! Subbing now🌺

[@davidwalker9616]

This song speaks on so many levels it truly is a soul grabbing masterpiece.

[@jillianhall1594]

I absolutely love your reactions. ❤️ You're just so genuine. & I can tell you CARE about people. Your reaction makes me emotional sometimes. I had some horrible psych nurses throughout several of my rehab/psych/dual diagnosis trips. They were probably decent people, just jaded and burnt out. My mom is a masters level social worker of 30+ years so I've seen the toll that working in mental health can have on people. My point is, I just felt driven to tell you that your patients are lucky to have you. Truly. I bet you make a big difference in their lives! ❤ You're not jaded or burnt out & you have that light in your eyes that tells me you are empathic & soft when it's appropriate to be! I encourage you take care of YOU so you can continue making a difference! ❤️❤️❤️

[@nickforell1]

Jillian, thank you so much. That means the world to me ❤️

[@MissKiwiMtl]

Love your reactions. I’m watching your REN playlist. I have watched REN reactions for months. I just found you and I think you do a great job breaking down the lyrics. Thank you ❤

[@photobyhe]

There will be a day I will be able to listen to this song without crying... but not today... . Having gone through depression and medication it hits home so hard. Thank you for a compassionate and informative analysis of this piece of art.

[@gamemeh]

"Everyone's reality should be allowed to remain intact in the way that they want it" - Doesn't matter what it sounded like, it's meaning, at least to me. Was as powerful as this track. Hearing an active member of the medical profession being so open and honest and actually making sense when it comes to medication.. That's priceless.

[@marklove3887]

Ren has just brought to the surface a much needed message that, we desperately need a new paradigm. Ty for sharing.

[@TheViralInfekT]

"Ren has a perfectly flawed voice" ... so true. In regards to the "chalk outline" part of medication: This is exactly the reason why this treatment did not work for me. I could not handle the changes those depression meds did to me. The feeling of being put into a cotton ball did not help. It made it even worse for me. But i have been helped by other treatment and I am thankful for everyone who helped me trough my darkest times. This song still hits very hard. Especially the first few lines. Going to sleep and hope to be someone else (or in a different circumstance) in the morning is something i do nearly every day still.

[@NullSheen]

Don't worry about interrupting the video, I came here for a reaction and to listen to your commentary. If I wanted to watch it uninterrupted I would watch the original. Great insight in all 3 reactions.

[@nickforell1]

I appreciate that thank you!

[@LauraWard1987]

Initially I thought the chalk outlines could suggest a generic human outline, like a box you are supposed to fit into but can't quite manage it. Then my thoughts changed as the song went on. New to Ren, Chinchilla and this channel and I love all 3. New subscriber here and I am in awe of the raw talent these 2 amazing individuals have, the storytelling is a work of art and I'm now going down a Ren rabbit hole too. Thank you KZbin algorithm for alerting me to Ren and then to this reaction channel 👌 I feel music via the lyrics first too and this songwriting is an art, a raw and honest but brutal art, but nonetheless it is art and it is hauntingly beautiful and powerful. I feel that Ren is universal, his work can speak to many people on many different levels and I'm gutted I haven't discovered him sooner. And Chinchilla too, her voice, that power she is holding 💞🔥🙌 Thank you

[@donald1379]

Nick i agree the imperfections in his voice and his lyrics are what makes Ren so special❤❤Chinchilla is on her own level very underrated.❤❤ appreciate you .

[@Alex-ed8tq]

im happy to see such amazing ppl as you work in these jobs- nice psych nurses are a rare find and so valuable

[@roblewisfitnesscoach]

Watched three of your reactions now, I love how honest you are and how real. Perfect reaction to Ren, thank you.

[@nickforell1]

I appreciate that Rob, thank you!

[@Fossie_D]

Great video. I can really relate to the "scared to be ok" line because that's how I feel. Every time I start to feel a bit better I'm consumed by this overwhelming fear that tomorrow I'll be back to being miserable. It's debilitating and exhausting. May I suggest power and genesis as more upbeat songs

[@kiwatts]

Love your insights. I also feel your clients are lucky to have a nurse that is still in touch with their emotions and empathy. There are many who aren't or burn out.

[@nickforell1]

Thank you so much Kimberlee =)

[@davidskelton5205]

Have loved watching your reactions to Ren so far. Welcome to his world! Powerful stuff indeed. I concur with a few of the comments below in recommending that you do the Jenny/Screetch/Violet trilogy next. Make sure you watch them in one go and in that order and have some tissues to hand!! Keep up the good work

[@nickforell1]

Thank you David, I will definitely be doing the trilogy. Appreciate you!

[@Red5x5x5]

I interpreted it as being about coping with emotional or psychological pain with unhealthy coping mechanisms - drugs, alcohol, etc. One thing I wanna say though, the acoustic of that place is absolutely amazing, it fits with their voices so well. Brilliant.

[@chrisparti]

I completely resonate with your analogy about the chalk outlines, its exactly what I felt when I first heard this beautiful song. I have personally tried 6 different prescribed anti-depression meds, and each one of them stole who I was, I am now searching for other ways to combat this darkness and confusion that plagues me. Great reaction, beautiful insight...

[@nickforell1]

Thanks for sharing! Really appreciate you stopping by

[@Ginaarceci]

This is such a powerful and profound song. It hit me, and gave me chills. Their voices alone are incredible BUT together they create this masterpiece that meshes so well together. The way he can convey such emotion through his lyrics is astonishing.

[@sicmuvva11]

Sad but so beautiful.The hunger shows his rapping skills, Power and losing it (Fisher retake) are up tracks love them

[@TanjaSchumacher-fj9zc]

Listening to Ren's music I can hear, see and feel the pain he's going through and I don't have any experience with heavy medication but his music helps me with my inner thoughts to see that I'm not the only one who struggles in some way. Yor reactions are great and interesting, keep going Nick. Much love from Germany.

[@Sanskari4]

They give people who live with chronic pain and mental illness a voice. They are knocking down the walls and stigma of mental illness and for someone who has lived with both most of my life and have been on so many medications to just get through the day and not lose myself in the process they give hope

[@-mrflynn]

There comes a time when you stop listening to music and start to hear it , I’m new to Ren and he cuts deep you can feel his soul perfect imperfections you hit the nail on the head .

[@ChrisJones-we4in]

If you want to see Ren at his excruciatingly raw emotional best, please check out one of his earlier songs - Crutch. It is absolutely mind blowing and gut wrenching in equal measure. That he could come up with this song at the point of time in his life he did brings me to tears evey time I listen to and think about it.

[@stumeat77]

Another vote for Crutch.

[@Shiroar]

And one more vote. It has quickly become one of my favourite Ren songs cause of the raw emotion.

[@Rad_Radster_Experience]

Yes, Crutch with Bibi is a awesome choice to react to.

[@kjcile8334]

Ya it got me

[@Veeliscious]

Me too. It had me bawling tbh 😭

[@deejayturtle]

Hey Nick glad ya got to this quick. Anther amazing song by Ren. Great reaction.

[@lorriredmon8212]

Don't forget to take a deep breath at the end... You are a very empathetic human being and I appreciate that about you. Thank you for another heart felt reaction.

[@Sabrina-wz9ko]

I have watched the video at least 20 times just on it's own and listened to it a bunch more on spotify. Who knows how many reactions of it I've watched now. I still get goosebumps every single time. As you said, it's so beautifully raw and perfectly imperfect.

[@Masterlitchuk]

I was cripple at age 32. Now 22 years later I am still in chronic pain I won't list all the meds and issues I have but yup I get what he is on about. Pain is insidious people especially doctors don't understand if every second of your life is pain your mind breaks or you have to find a different way and something breaks inside. People care about you at first then having to listen to the same thing it get's old and compassion fatigue sets in. You change and maybe something gets lost in the mists of time. Yes, meds help BUT all meds have side effects and again doctors only care about what is listed in Mims. I am sure you are a great help to your patients and you realise there is no perfect there is only good enough sometimes! Fantastic videos and thanks for understanding and caring...

[@KERO_on_X]

I just fell in love with both of them at the same time...

[@nessid1986]

Even thoug we already acknowledge Rens and in this case Chinchillas awesome and great work. I want to point out, same it is as your work Nick ! It needs a special kind of human to do such a work as you do ! Therefore thank you for your awesome work you are doing as a Psych nurse! The world needs humans like you ! Thank you and god bless you and bless you all ❤ much love from germany

[@EnzoNeph]

Just bingewatched 3 of your ren reactions and im loving them! ❤ fantastic music and reactions cant wait to watch the others!

[@pirobot668beta]

I was mis-diagnosed, mis-medicated for over 15 years. Private Healthcare in America at the time (early 1980's) didn't know/understand this new 'bipolar thing'. Every manic episode was treated like a stand-alone event, a 'psychotic break'. Every dark depression treated with stimulants and 'encounter therapy', a kind of clinical tough-love. "You're just tired and under-motivated; these pills will keep you awake while on the job, therapy will 'toughen you up' so stress just rolls off your back." I wasn't being treated like a patient, I was being treated like a Prize-fighter..."Just one more round, Kid!" It took chronic unemployment, suicide attempts and being 'rescued' by the Veterans Administration before I got proper care. I still take medication, still argue with my VA Doctor about the necessity of the meds and alternatives. If it ever feels easy or simple, I'm overlooking something vital! "I was made to be tested and twisted, I was made to be broken and beat..." I dunno know about His Plan, that's above my pay-grade.

[@elenabecker1843]

Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability. You’re awesome. This one brings me to tears every time. I still currently take medication and it is needed. And even with help man I struggle. We need great people like you in psych. ❤

[@nickforell1]

Thank you Elena that means alot :)

[@kjcile8334]

It's nice to get your side of things. My mom worked as a physc. nurse her whole career. Sometimes I'd feel like I was supposed to be OK. I wasn't supposed to have my mental issues. So I really struggled. I bet it made her struggle as well. It sounds like you work in a pretty good place & you be free about medications. That's such a hard topic in the world today. We tend to over medicate. I'll try to talk to my dad & step mom & she'll ask me if I'm on my meds. I just get so sick of meds because there's so many side affects & it's let's try this for a while, give it more time, let me know if there's problems but if there is you have to wait forever to talk to them about it. I've dealt with that all my life. I'm trying to ween off as many meds as I can as I take quite a few. I also found out 2 of my meds. will no longer be covered by my ins. Great something seemed to finally be working. My Dr. hasn't got back with me & I wish I would have been given more time so that I could maybe have started weaning myself off of which on 1st? or just run out of both in March. This is my mental roller coaster. So this song really hit home for me. They have beautiful voices. I don't know if there's anything REN can't do. Anyway I love your comments.

[@Danandrea919]

I watch every Ren reaction I find. I see people like me seeing their demons laid out before the world so beautifully and so raw. I cry every time I see this, hear this... But I'm like bawling my eyes out because you get it! I'm 59 and got Lyme in 1991, but misdiagnosed with everything but... My doctors refused to test for it. I was told it's all in my head, doused with antidepressants, antipychotics, antianxietys, uppers, downers, pain pills as far as the eye can see. I was taking 13 different meds, most of them multiple times daily. I still sought an answer and told my last doctor that the only way I would ever get a diagnosis would be on an autopsy table. My heart stopped in 2009. I now am disabled with a pacemaker/defibrillator keeping me alive. In 2015 I went off all the meds cold turkey. It was like going through hell, but I lived through that, too. In 2016 I went off on my own and finally was formally diagnosed with progressive Lyme Disease. But it's too late to treat. It was the Lyme that ate my heart away. It was the meds that ate my brain and body away. It was the being totally a commodity for the Medical Industrial Complex and Pig Pharma that slowly ate away at my soul. But God is stronger and He has me here for a reason. So I'm ugly crying because you are the FIRST psych prof I have encountered to GET IT!! I thank God for you. I thank God for Ren. I have hope again! Much love!! ❤

[@Ryoufriggingserious]

Your analysis is excellent and truly from the heart.

[@nickforell1]

Glad you think so! =)

[@CGCEifel]

I love it so much when people that are actually affected by these things write and sing about it in such an authentic and masterful way. Dealing with depression for most of my life i remember a stupid metaphore from a book that was supposed to help people with depression. It was about depression being like you are a frog in bowl of milk that can't get out of this bowl. So the morale was, you as the frog should keep swimming until the milk becomes butter, so you coud climb out of the bowl. What the author completely missed was the fact that at some point you don't have the strenght anymore to swim. And that's the difference between folks lamenting about things out of the blue and people that actually experienced the suffering and turn it to art, make it accessible for everyone. That's what REN does.

[@dougvoltin164]

Another beautiful reaction. Your perspective is appreciated.

[@nickforell1]

Thank you Doug ❤️

[@Ashforddrvr]

I just found you Nick, as far as meds go I told my doctors give me whatever it takes to help me keep going, as did Ren . I did OK for a long time as I was diagnosed correctly,. Ren was misdiagnosed. His music and words resonate with me because I've noticed over the last 20 years of being treated that the care from the professionals seems less. I think they are overwhelmed in the current climate and are shutting down themselves. I'm in the US by the way but am a Brit by birth.

[@kamodius]

Dude, I'm digging your mind in these reactions. I'd love to see you do more Ren and also dive into some NF. New subscriber. I love that you're just honestly reacting. Keep it up man.

[@nickforell1]

I will be doing more ren and people keep saying NF!

[@Tarlain]

Thanks so much for your raw reaction. I love hearing your comments, and the pausing never is an issue. It's not a reaction if you don't pause to react! I appreciate what you do!

[@nickforell1]

No problem 😊 Thank you so much!

[@niky9226]

You're reaction is so heartfelt. Not only is Ren's music moving me, but seeing you're reaction is also breaking my heart. No idea if you'll see this... My Mother (born in 1948) believed all her life she was "not crazy". After having her first child at 18yo, she had her first breakdown. I have no idea what the diagnosis was back then. She then became medicated for the rest of her life. After she had me at 40yo, she had a major breakdown. And she went through ups and downs of episodes of "psychosis" through my childhood. She later passed away at 59yo during her last visit to the mental ward, from an embolism. Soon, I realized some of her "episodes" were actually premonitions that came true after she passed away, even though she was officially diagnosed with Bipolar (likely type 1, I cant recall). I then had my first and only child 12yrs ago, and ended up in the same type of ward she was in, after not sleeping for over a week. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1. I took meds for a year or so, and weaned off. My fam doctor supported the decision and still does. Sure, things could trigger it again later in life. But I have not needed anything since. I was told 12 yrs ago, that I could not finish my education and get a good paying job without treatment. Yet here I am making a good salary with a company that is paying my education to get my designation 🤷‍♀️😄. HOWEVER, if I need meds again one day, I will not hesitate. It does work for many people, but not everyone needs to be on it the rest of their lives.... Because then it becomes a dependancy, where the withdrawls are just as bad as the psychosis...

[@nickforell1]

Thank you Nicole, I really appreciate you sharing that. It really means lot.

[@niky9226]

@@nickforell1 Aww you're welcome and thank you for replying! My intent with sharing this was to share my success story with you 😊. Love watching your reactions, Im a new subbie now 😄

[@jukeboxdave6026]

Many thanks my friend great reaction love and respect from the UK 👍👍👍👍👍👍🌟😀😀 amazing channel 👍

[@Rad_Radster_Experience]

Your reaction and insights was awesome and informative. Thank you.

[@eileengarcia7923]

Lyme disease is so difficult to deal with. Ren is brillant! Sending positive vibes his way!

[@jenniferseyfang9909]

From a mental health worker & a dependent on antidepressants. It takes dozens of attempts to find the right medication & dosage. I relate to this song so much. Sure you can erase the lows but, it's the steals the joy also. 😊 trial and error. That's way so many of us STOP taking them because we NEED to feel.

[@amandaritzau2602]

Dealing with mental health, and ptsd, chronic pain, mis diagnosis etc.... and his first 2 lines had me in tears. First time hearing this. Iv had to process his work this is my 3rd one in over a month lol.

[@thepickingpauper9652]

I think the way that Chinchilla just appears out of nowhere...dressed in all white just like Ren... I think that she's the voice in his head that tells him he needs the medication! She's the voice of addiction... the craving for the "sip of Serotonin"! Sertraline, or more commonly known as Zoloft, is powerful! You can't just stop taking it or it can cause major medical problems or increase risk of suicide. There is a reason tapering is recommended when you chose to quit. Her voice in this song is haunting... and I believe in this song, a perfect fit for representing something that haunts so many addicted to, or feel trapped by, prescription medications! Ren... you're killing me bro... but in a very good way! You remind me of someone I love very much... hopefully he too finds and chooses to embrace hope just as you have!

[@donnakurtz9293]

great job as you have proven on the previous two .. looking forward to this as well. in your intro you were reminding folks to like and subscribe etc. Definitley will. but as many others do too (and mention) is put links to Ren's actual site and urge people to go like and subscribe there as well. Helps Ren a LOT. I am trying to pass the word on as I can ... thanks for all you are doing.