I Was Wrong About Open Relationships || Mayim Bialik

[@heatherscanlon4123]

I have been in a polyamorous relationship. I thought I could do it. But I found I am happiest in a monogamous relationship. The lifestyle is just not for me. And that’s ok. I will say it helped me to understand myself better and what I want in a relationship. I also became more vocal about what I need.

[@iridescentsquids]

I love the idea, by itself, of people not being afraid to figure out what they need and how to vocalize it. Open relationships require that (the hard way sometimes) so that’s good even if open relations aren’t what a person wants. Monogamous relationships ride the “safe” zones so much people can get lost. However we get there I thinks it’s good to be a clear and confident advocate for who we are, that we know well.

[@waterlily2743]

I feel like the biggest misconception people have about consensual non-monogamy is the belief that jealousy doesn't happen. Coming from someone who is polyamorous jealousy does in fact happen and is completely normal. That's where we have to learn to express our emotions and communicate how we are feeling in a healthy way. We also have rules. Cheating can still very much happen in non-monogamy relationships. If one of us says: I dont want more than a platonic relationship with this person, it means that person is off limits to both of us.

[@reach275]

You can play around all you want with open relationships, in the end someone's gonna be hurt 😅😅

[@iridescentsquids]

@@reach275 Um....are you suggesting that monogamy doesn't involve people getting hurt? Hello...dating 101 lol.

[@ania5038]

@@iridescentsquids I get what you're saying but I think they meant it more like if you're going to play with fire, don't be surprised if you get burnt. I'm fully open to non-monogamy but I think a lot of people go into it not actually wanting to (e.g. one partner wants it and the other is doing it to appease them, etc.) which bothers me. Yes, every relationship will cause hurt but opening up a relationship to greater potential for betrayals of trust is something that not everyone should participate in and certainly that no one should be coerced into.

[@pepper70788]

The fact that you admitted some of this made you uncomfortable was really refreshing. From personal experience that's a hard thing to admit.

[@maxximumb]

It gets easier with age.

[@MayimBialik]

LOL still hard at 41

[@maxximumb]

When you catch up with me, you'll see ;)

[@katiesmith-di3mr]

Mayim Bialik You are 41!?!? Omg you age so beautifully Mayim!!!

[@jubaljohn6509]

Wow thank you for having the courage to say "I was wrong" and "I still have a lot to learn". If we could all practice this more we could almost maybe achieve peace and understanding

[@eps3154]

I agree. Thanks for being a true scientist, Mayim.

[@MariaAgnesQuinn]

Jubal John i was almost WORD FOR WORD about to say comment with this! 💖✌🏼

[@BlacksmithTWD]

+Joe Duke 3-5% of 6 x 10^9 people is alot of people, i doubt you would invite such a number of people to your birthday parties. I think that what you meant to say is that 3-5% is not a high percentage of people, wich of course is true.Wether or not it's a significant proportion is a matter of opinion I think. However an important one that needs to be agreed upon when setting up rules for a country.

[@genunsaved5441]

Jubal John ikr

[@jaelynnzee9091]

We need the whole world to adopt this mentality. We could be so much better as a species if everyone was educated with facts, and no longer subscribing to traditional cultures for everything. We can see how much oppression of women goes on around the world, and it's heartbreaking! In the US, 200K teen minor girls were forced to marry in the past decade. The age of consent for marriage with parental permission is TWELVE in the US. This is SICK and we must push to raise it to 18. Imagine if we included 2-yrs post high school into standard education! How much it would help society overall, cost, abuse, neglect if our girls got educated. So many religious parents are keeping their kids home from school out of fear of facts, which blows my mind b/c there are prob a billion girls on the planet who would sell a kidney to be able to attend public school in the US, and people here take it for granted. Kind of off topic.- I was dismayed to learn that sexism in Japan is horrible rampant, and that girls are raised to only think of themselves as sex objects, and that schoolgirls are for rent in Tokyo. So sad. Japan signed the UN Human Rights Declaration and clearly are NOT upholding this when it comes to their girls. There is NO support for runaways or abused kids. It's a shame-based culture, and women bear the burden of all shame.

[@jungferheidelbeer8986]

Owning your mistakes is a boss thing to do.

[@ania5038]

What mistakes? She was speaking openly and now she has to bite her tongue to appease the woke mob.

[@LaciRae]

she does it so well. awe inspiring.

[@danielchacon2707]

She didn’t make any mistakes. Her original opinions were perfectly just and valid, it’s unfortunate the noisy minority cries to be acknowledged in the way that pleases them, like a child crying for the toy they aren’t allowed to have. I will no longer be the silent majority. I will embolden the majority to be more vocal.

[@LaciRae]

@@danielchacon2707, whether she made any mistakes or not, isn’t all that relevant to the fact that she owned up to not knowing a few things, listened to the different angles people had, put in thorough research on what they said, gave it all careful consideration against her original views, adjusted her old beliefs with her new insights, & thoughtfully expressed her growth to the people who encouraged it. ~all of which takes integrity, empathy, humility, intelligence, & willingness to give effort. traits that not everyone possesses even one of, let alone all. i see where You’re coming from tho. as in, ‘should one give their time & effort every time they are faced with an opposing view?’ that depends & varies with each person & subject. in this case, this person with this subject, felt that it was worth their time/effort.

[@danielchacon2707]

@@LaciRae You should lock down that grammar if you’re gonna use them big words all in the same sentence 👀

[@dar_jada]

So admire your willingness to admit you were wrong but also take the time to thoroughly educate others about a subject that many do not understand. Bravo

[@dar_jada]

You modeled something very important for others to witness-how to admit you made a mistake.

[@sweetsummerchild2454]

Agreed!

[@liliannamathers3428]

Is that really so rare? That's sad!

[@liliannamathers3428]

and I hope she doesn't take back all of her thoughts, unless she believes they were completely wrong. This is head spinny, can't Mayim just share her thoughts and experiences? I don't think she is an unkind person, maybe we can keep that in mind when thinking about motives.

[@nielsqbc4]

But I do thinks she was not wrong to start with. Voicing your opinion, that you think that the male+female relationship is the only good one is not wrong. I think these reactions to her opinion is a classic example of shutting someone up by saying what kind of consequences it could all have. It is nonsense that here stances would bring forth hate against people who do sex different. It is a tactic to shut down any oppositional voice used by radical Lgbt people. Like if someone says: christians feed up their children wrongly. Should I hush to say someone is going to attack me by hearing this message. That is nonsense. Greets from the Netherlands. PS. I rather have a Ben Shapiro or Jordan Peterson, these guys are not intimidated by emotional tactics.

[@THEROCKETSUMMERL0VER]

N vd Plas we need more comments like this on KZbin

[@333calvero]

Admitting to being wrong on the internet is a very brave step . That being said, I could not imagine a non-monogamous relationship for myself.

[@josecarlosxyz]

she's just protecting her image

[@NatzTalk]

Same💛

[@ave_does_artz4990]

“I was wrong” that’s music to my ears! So often we as people are afraid to admit when we where wrong, and will cling to excuses to protect our fragile egos. Thank you (even the creator will likely never read this) for setting a positive example to your viewers and demonstrating that it’s okay to be wrong and how to move forward and continue to have mature and productive discussions.

[@fruitlooprainbow]

That's Mayim for you, always the trail blazer, the role model.

[@TheMrpunisher77]

It's been brought to my attention that you rock.

[@wordswritteninred7171]

Just remember you are not wrong if you want a monogamous relationship. You can talk solely about heterosexual monogamy without degrading any other type of relationship. You have the right to speak about your needs and desires without it being an insult to any other option.

[@nielsqbc4]

And also talk about that you think monogamous heterosexual relationships is a good thing, without being spammed with emotional letters, claiming people are going to chop some heads off. Can we now hush people by saying yeah what you say might cause riots in Bangladesh, or hurt someone elses feelings. She was wrong in giving in to emotional tactics. Like if you have an opinion you are not nice anymore. If you believe in biblical relationships, you are not friendly towards gays. That kind of nonsense is used as a stick to hit christians with.

[@wordswritteninred7171]

@@nielsqbc4 If people would stop and actually consider that type of thinking, they would realize THEY are the ones spreading hate. If I say "My favorite ice cream is strawberry." I am not forcing anything on anyone else. But if you come back and say "No. i like chocolate. And I am offended by your strawberry." who is being the divisive one? And this is what is happening. And how about the whole "I want to force you to include me by making you single me out by demanding some odd form of label. 'They' or 'it' "or whatever nonesense they say. They have no clue that tptb are manipulating them poisoning their bodies with chemicals. Then pkisoning their minds qith nonsense. But I think I am preaching to the choir here. Yes, she should have set the record straight instead of caving to their demands. But she has her money to worry about. She doesnt want to be the next Roseanne after all. Never k ow what someone is going to decide what your words meant. Smh evil is almost completed its goal.

[@wordswritteninred7171]

@@nielsqbc4 See^^^^^ someone not mature enough to let others have a life. And deciding what their words mean. But check out the screen name. So I know it comes with the territory. And as soon as the politicians are done using them, they will forget about them. But Im considered the enemy. Lol

[@iridescentsquids]

Yeah...but if only that's what happened. She made some mistakes, floated some weird pseudoscience, and she apologized for some of those mistakes (as she has a right to do. You have no more right to pressure her not to). She didn't change her opinion about monogamy, after all. She clarified and reiterated that she thinks monogamy is the way to go for her. Nothing wrong with that.

[@wordswritteninred7171]

@@iridescentsquids So speaking up to defend her explaining monogamy is pressuring her. Funny how that works. Its okay to crucify her when she doesnt go along with the propaganda , but to stand up for her right to speak, and it becomes pressure and "psuedo science". Here is a big clue, what goes against NATURE, is psuedo science. Check yourself.

[@alanthomasgramont]

It’s nice to see someone agree to disagree with class while at the same time passing on the knowledge.

[@Tcheera]

I get what you mean, but just a side note - I don't even think she was classically "agreeing to disagree" about the potential validity of consensual non-monogamy. Usually when I hear that phrase, I think "We have come to an impasse and I will never agree with your points so let's just go our separate ways peacefully." Instead she has learned more about the perspective and said, "Oh, I can see its validity and now I understand more about it even though it does not describe me - and my criticisms of it as a whole were uninformed." I think a better referent or way to look at it would be that there are gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, and many other types of people with different ways they identify sexuality. A lot of times people historically who identified as straight, and culturally and societally we oppressed and called other sexual identities abnormal. At one point they were even in the DSM as mental disorders - any and all of them were. Now our society has shifted and changed its understanding and discourse that even a small still binary type of relationship like homosexual relationships are (for the majority) - legal, within normal acceptable behavior, and rights have been supported. There are a lot of people who used to be largely against "gay marriage" for example. Now it is legal around the US and it started with both shifting attitudes toward acceptance, many states changing laws, and eventually the SCOTUS decision to make gay marriage legal. For all the people who either always accepted homosexuality as an acceptable sexual orientation that deserved equal rights or even for those who (parallel to Mayim's change of heart above) changed their minds or "evolved" on their opinions, there's a distinction. Evolving on acceptance does not mean that you agree to disagree - it means that you agree and accept. It does not mean that if you were straight and agree that homosexuality is a potential natural thing that you become gay suddenly, or are now gay. It just means that you become an ally and support and accept that it is perfectly natural... even if it does not describe you. Accepting the rights of black people (or of other races) doesn't make one black or change their race, just a potential ally. Accepting the rights of people with different sexual orientations, doesn't change your sexual orientation. Accepting and understanding transgender people and gender non-conformity doesn't change your gender identity. And finally, accepting polyamory and consensual non-monogamy as one potential way to be in relationships doesn't change your propensity for relationship engagement. It's agreeing to agree, learning and evolving. I do agree that this is one of the harder things to do - to respond with class and especially to not get defensive. I thought her initial response to his was better than her feminist / metoo debacle (and generally think she is a thoughtful person). I hope that she continues to make videos, but I especially hope that she continues to model this type of behavior which I think involves more courage, more class and more thoughtfulness, than knee-jerk responses to criticism that are more common. To simply admit "I was wrong and my view was myopic and limited to my own experience - it was wrong of me to apply it to everyone" - if more people started doing that and having discourse and admitting when they were wrong rather than being reactionary... especially those who come from places of privilege... the world would get better a whole lot faster. Perhaps it would also decrease the need for backlash if we knew that people would be open and listen to other experiences and have empathy when they might be wrong. If more people with powerful platforms like her started developing this as a norm (rather than an exception, and rather than defaulting to defensiveness), we might be able to advance a lot of understanding in the country and around the world. I'm highly encouraged by this video and think this is what leadership could and should look like - hope more follow suit!

[@marie-francoiset9402]

@@Tcheera please STOP equating Black people are our fight for civil rights with ANYTHING to do with sexuality, sexual preferences, sexual identities or how many ppl you want to screw in a relationship. it has NOTHING absolutely NOTHING to do with us. it's not analogous in ANY WAY. STOP using our struggle for your own purposes and ends. and i don't care if there are black ppl who are some of those things, my point is that our civil rights fight has nothing to do with it nor us as a people. You're just using us. so stop. Figure out another way to support the lgb+ communities and whoever else you support without bringing us up. It's lazy and unnecessary and UNTRUE.

[@Tcheera]

@@marie-francoiset9402 Um... so you're arguing that supporting civil rights for black people does make people black? Because that is literally the only thing that I said about the fight for civil rights generally -- supporting something doesn't make you a part of that group. I don't get your so-called "argument". No one equated different civil rights struggles. I only said that supporting different civil rights struggles doesn't necessarily make you a member of the group that you are supporting. It might be called lazy, sure, because it is SIMPLE for some people to understand, but for some reason people don't understand it when it comes to any number of intersectional identities, apparently especially for light-skinned people like me -- they think supporting something means they are part of it or have to "do it". So other people don't understand it, and part of the civil rights fight was about the right for black people to marry who they wanted to and have the same rights as white people who married (at the time men). Still today there are factions of people who will not support interracial rights -- and then there are people who think that supporting interracial relationships means being a tourist and fetishizing and being in such a relationship, when neither are true allyship. I do think that our struggle involves sexuality, and you don't have to agree with me, but your running around looking for a fight on every post that mentions civil rights, including a 3 year old post? is trolling, especially assuming everyone with light skin is "them" vs your "our struggle" thinking you're the person who gets to speak for everyone. Let me speak for myself, and send your capslock division and hatred of people like me who have multiple identities and personal reflections alone. I brought ME up not YOU. What I said was true for me, so who are you to say it's untrue?

[@Katiemadonna3]

The more I deal with modern relationships, the more appealing being cat lady looks.

[@bunnykatsoracle3275]

Shes not wrong. Can confirm .

[@wd4012007]

This but dogs lol

[@AJscorner007]

LMAO

[@owen5640]

Everything is so weird these days it seems like both men and women are giving up on dating, which I can't blame anyone for.

[@mathiasfantoni2458]

Cat man here!

[@myafaire1682]

My two favorite phrases to hear are: 1) I don't know; and 2) I was wrong. It takes a confident person to say those things. Most people think it makes them look weak, but the truth is that they look strong. Kudos.

[@colkilgore100]

More like it takes a dopey ass fuck-up to say those things. Get it right the first time and you'll never have candy-ass losers applauding you for being honest about being a bungler.

[@medeajade121]

When I stop hearing adults say those things is when I start to worry. Everyone makes mistakes and it's the mark of a truly wise person to have the ability to admit that they made a mistake and try to fix it/learn from it.

[@medeajade121]

Wow. Is that ever an extreme opinion. No one ever stops learning, not should they. Equating a social faux pas with murder is just simply not possible. A black and white view of things is not what helps us evolve as a species. People are, and should be, wrong all the time as no one can know everything. Saying ‘I was wrong’ shows that one is open to new ideas and gaining understanding. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ shows compassion and is the mark of a person who is aware of how their actions impact on others. I would hope that if someone took a step and bumped into you and then apologized you would accept it and move on, not condemn them for not having learned to be more coordinated. To human is to err. A belief otherwise is closed minded and judgmental.

[@SEJ3333]

mrs0019 I pity any adult who believes they haven't anything to learn.

[@Momma_Vanessa]

I love how you clarified your statements from the previous video but held true to your beliefs. That is strength. That is humbling. I applaud you!!

[@MayimBialik]

thank you vanessa! you get me! :)

[@DasInf13]

Mayim Bialik hearing your opinions outside the show is interesting to say the least. I was curious to hear your thought on what the future of procreation might look like especially if we keep advancing in the sciences. Do you ever think humanity will achieve something close to immortality, to where we don't need to reproduce anymore via current methods?

[@MsColdCanada]

Wow Jek, I find that possibility incredibly frightening. A future where the only place to hear baby giggles is on the archives of the internet.

[@Bronzyglow]

I appreciate your willingness to admit your perspective was a limited one. Many don’t. I also appreciate your comfort in asserting that you maintain your own perspective, which is not reflective in the lifestyles you described. There is either room for everyone or there isn’t - majority and minority views are both inclusive.

[@milphoenix91]

I love how you admitted to your flawed understanding, accepted feedback and acknowledged the legitimacy of a perspective different than yours, while remaining authentic to yourself.

[@marie-francoiset9402]

sounds like she backtracked on alot of what she said in the first vid. both vids are opinions. the 2nd vid is an opinion that the poly ppl like. tha'ts all. she did not remain authentic to herself though.

[@tiffanincarter]

​@@marie-francoiset9402she DID remain authentic to herself, while acknowleding that her truths do not apply to a lot of others and they are still very much valid.

[@marie-francoiset9402]

@@tiffanincarter nope she did NOT remain authentic to herself. She capitulated to pressure from others. In the end it doesn't matter. She's not going to do that in HER marriage/relationship. And that's what is really important to her. She doesn't need to share her true thoughts about it. People can't handle it anyway. Obviously.

[@piscesbambina]

You're intellegence, open-mindedness, and willingness to acknowledge and learn from your mistakes is beautiful. Thank you for insight and inspiration.

[@rainofkhandaq6678]

piscesbambina Your*

[@createinspain]

The key term is 'consensual'. Do whatever you want as long as you don't pressurise, coerce or bully the other party into it. However, what I would emphasise, is that it is unfair to go into a (conventional) marriage purporting to want monogamy and then change your mind years later, possibly after children are involved. That is forcing the spouse to either accept the change or leave the relationship/life they expected and is not an act of love but of selfishness.

[@iridescentsquids]

Fairness is a factor, but not the only factor. And even saying it's inherently unfair ignores the possibility that both parties might feel the same way about it. And even if they both don't, relationships are work and communication about our constantly changing place in life is important. So there's no need to assume that a person who wants to consider an open relationship, even if when they married they never considered it, must be putting their spouse in an unfair position, or must be pressuring them. As a point of comparison, it's certainly no more unfair (probably significantly less so) than broaching the subject of divorce, which is rarely branded as *inherently* unfair. Painful, of course. But fairness is contingent on the specific circumstances. People considering an open relationship may simply want to be honest, and communicate openly. Nearly every person I've heard talk about an open relationship, speak about it within the context of their current relationship, and put a very, very high value on communication. It does not seem to happen despite it. Divorce often does, though.

[@Sobergirl_]

Oooooooooo preach!

[@mim9708]

Very nicely said createinspain.

[@iridescentsquids]

"Just speak up." The way you put it, sounds like you think it's unfair to speak up about what you want if it's not monogamy. But you still say 'speak up'. I think this idea of fairness (fear of being unfair and judging the honest feelings of a partner) while a legit fear in many respects, can really get in the way of communicating. I'm convinced it's fear of being unfair that, ironically, leads to communication breakdowns and people being unfaithful, running for the door/divorce etc. Because it's damn hard work sometimes to be honest. A person communicating that they find themselves thinking about an open relationship doesn't mean they absolutely need it, or would even want it any more if they communicated better with their partner. Relationships IMO are more fluid, dynamic, and self-fulfilling than the stereotypical monogamous, romantic notion which is usually eternal and unchanging (which creates all kinds of false expectations, guilty feelings, fear of being unfair, and inhibitions to honest communication).

[@bigbawss3273]

agreed and ive had past relationships where the other partner wanted to be into open relationships and I dident but my partner pushed it and I left and feel better but sad that I wasent able to fill the needs of my other half..

[@chrissycopeland8064]

While I found nothing wrong with your first video, this video has opened my eyes. It has opened my eyes not just in regard to relationships, but in regard to other subjects I have a hard time understanding. I am beginning to realize that I don't have to understand other's life decisions to respect said decision. The only decisions I will never respect, ever, is when the decision is hurting the individual or another individual.

[@MayimBialik]

BINGO!

[@steamcastle]

but isn't that the problem, who gets to say what is "hurting" someone ? sure there are easy cases, but where is the line.

[@elizabethaffeldt1091]

you know who gets to say you're hurting someone? The people who are being marginalized. if someone says "that hurt me" than it did. You don't get to argue that "you didn't mean to". You apologize and ask how to not do it again. I don't understand why that is such a difficult concept.

[@steamcastle]

so I other words you are saying that you should do anything until they say that they are being hurt? because I wasn't asking about ignoring people saying that they being hurt, I was asking about when you could step in when the individual isn't saying any thing.

[@steamcastle]

Elizabeth Affeldt, you misunderstand what I was asking, I was asking about all the cases where the individual involved are not saying "that hurt me". when do you or someone else get to say "she is hurting him" or "he is hurting him" or "he is hurting her" or "she is hurting her" ?

[@jorgemoreno531]

I'm gay, and I do not like open relationships. You're entitled to your opinion and should not be apologizing for. Now days everyone gets upset and offended by every content online if it doesn't fit their agenda. Love you and keep up the good work. 😍

[@lauraaguilar2094]

Jorge Moreno 👏👏👏

[@andrewmccauley6262]

She never apologised for her opinion, nor did anyone say she should. She very rightly apologised for the misinformation and mischaracterisation that she had engaged in, and she apologised very well. You don't have to agree with or participate in non-monogamy to speak the truth about it.

[@pauljsm]

@@andrewmccauley6262 exactly! ❤

[@pauljsm]

@@andrewmccauley6262 "You don't have to agree with or participate in non-monogamy to speak the truth about it" ❤

[@joedellaselva1251]

Go Go Jorge!!!!

[@SailorBarsoom]

You know what? I think I like you. I mean, anybody can be wrong; heck, everybody is at one time or another. But a whole lot of us can not and will not admit to it *and then make the effort* to set things right. And you did. Good on you.

[@owlblocksdavid4955]

She wasn't wrong, though. Other people were just offended. It's alright to disagree. That doesn't make her "wrong".

[@SailorBarsoom]

Specifically, she got the terms "polyamory" and "open relationship" mixed up. But, she learned better. This results in her being right about something in which she once was wrong. She's smart and, as importantly, willing to apply that to what she doesn't know instead of only what she does.

[@Vanessa-bk4nv]

She definitely has a strong sense of integrity and respect for others! Bravo Mayim, regardless of one's opinion on the topic, this was refreshing.

[@fernandomartinez4486]

It's really not that hard. I mean, yeah, props to her for rectifying but, it really isnt THAT hard like you mention it. I know it is for most of people and that most of people think like you do ("it is hard to admit one is wrong and come up clear") but really, it isnt. Just admit it, learn from it, and move on. I have done it, even to stupid comments on youtube, and wished more people were like me, or the girl in the video. Just say "oh shoot, i was wrong. I understand now". Period.

[@bramvanduijn8086]

@@fernandomartinez4486 If we call it hard, people who overcome it feel positive about it and do it more often because it was a positive experience. While people who don't overcome it don't feel too negative about so they will try again. If we call it easy people who overcome it won't think about it or mention it so they won't inspire others to do the same. While people who don't overcome it feel very negative about it and may resolve the cognitive dissonance by deciding that it's nonsense and they will never try again. What is your goal in calling it easy?

[@patchoulicolt7093]

There's a great underlying message that I need to learn from: even though you can't wrap your head around something, it's okay, and still valid. 🙂

[@marmar90000]

But also: Don't STOP trying to wrap your head around something just because it is difficult to understand. We do it with a number of different subjects and topics, like: mathematics; racism; sexism; human, animal, and microbial biology; global issues, etc. And yet, we still push through and manage to learn!

[@finnianscown9621]

Thank you so much for actually caring about the impact your videos make as well as correcting the mistakes you've made realizing it affects people. The world needs more people who are smart and willing to be wrong because too many people see it as an attack on their intelligence instead of learning a different perspective

[@brasnany]

I don't see how expressing one's opinion can be seen as wrong. Sure she can correct some misunderstanding about terminologies and what relationship means to some people. However, that did not change her opinion. I don't see how someone's personal opinion about an issue can actually offend anyone who disagrees with that particular opinion. We are all entire to different opinions, and my opinion about an issue should not offend anyone as is my ideas, my beliefs, my opinions to deal with. If I offend someone by simply speaking what I believe, I mean seriously we should all be mute. People nowadays are extremely sensitive, and don't get the fact we are not all alike. Thank God for our differences. Let's keep it that way. Would hate for us all to be the same. What a boring world this would be!

[@BlacksmithTWD]

+brasnany I seldom see a youtube comment so well formulated, my compliments, and I even mostly agree with it. However I'd still like to point out that, even if Mayim didn't have anything to appologize for, it's a beautifull demonstration of her willingness to admit her mistakes (even though in this case I would hardly call them mistakes), an example to all of us. Keep it up Mayim and brasnany.

[@LadyCynthiana]

It's refreshing to see such respectful exchanges in KZbin comments. +++

[@mandyblumenthal2209]

Jordan S And yet you watch. Hmmm. It’s actually people like you who can’t express themselves without insults or contribute anything substantial to the conversation who nobody takes seriously.

[@Neo_Geisha]

Mandy Blumenthal True comment.

[@chicaalterego2193]

I also find monogamy the only way I imagine my relationships, but I stand the posture that whatever works for people, good for them :P

[@mynameis......23]

I am the 100th like

[@_H_A_R_S_H_I_T_]

Except it doesn’t work haha

[@tallguy4876]

It has worked since the dawn of mankind so there's no reason to even doubt it

[@SilverishKitten]

I don't understand people's needs to scoff at anything they personally don't prefer or relate to. I just want people to be themselves and happy, man... ._.

[@Alaskanman]

@@SilverishKitten As long as they're not hurting anyone, then sure. But the reality is; a good portion of open relationships hurts the other party. The other lover your partner's seeing may be cheating without their knowledge. So it hurts people one way or another, open relationships burns down bridges. If people wanna pursue their selfishness despite knowing this can go eat dirt

[@somewhat-blue]

I already respected you a lot as an artist, a scientist, and a person, but having seen this video makes me respect you all the more. It takes a lot to admit you made mistakes or pre-judged a life that isn't like yours - god knows we all do those things, constantly - and I love that you have that kind of character. As someone who's currently in a monogamous queer relationship and felt a little alienated by your previous video, thank you so much for taking a second look.

[@Nina_Kowsari]

Well put. You clearly showed that you understood where the opposing views (for lack of a better word) are coming from. Then you stated how you relate to /or don't relate to those other views while validating they are perfectly legitimate views for those who feel that way and benefit from that view point. If everyone tries to communicate this way together, we would live in peace and harmony; as everyone would be simultaneously right and valid and happy to be who they are and live how they live 😊❤

[@hellobye6292]

Admitting, that we were wrong about something can be really difficult, so I don't take this for granted. I think it's great that you made a follow up video and admitted, that you were wrong and now present us your new view on this topic!

[@martinasolmes4462]

So far, anyone who has ever asked me to swing, try polyamory or be in a open relationship were people who simply wanted sex with no strings attached. I'm still waiting for all the sensitive, conscientious, emotionally stable and invested people. But good on you for correcting where you went wrong. I'm totally with you that consensual non-monogamy is not the way I want to make things happen.

[@siddhanttelang]

+1. There are lots of POSITIVES of being in a MONOGAMOUS RELATIOSHIP than Non-Monogamous one. I think PEOPLE are becoming SELFISH and SELF-CENTERED more than ever. And are putting REAL RELATIONSHIPS in the BACK BURNER... which may be the reason behind sudden spike in the SUICIDES AND DEPRESSION cases . I just genuinely wish that ALL the monogamous oriented people get MONOGAMOUS PEOPLE in order to live and cherish their lives beautifully TOGETHER ❤️.

[@Rolando_Cueva]

@@siddhanttelang Good for you, I personally prefer to never be jealous and not stress about it.

[@emmettdonkeydoodle6230]

@@siddhanttelang Define a “real relationship”

[@emmettdonkeydoodle6230]

I would say the same goes for people that are monogamous. Most people you encounter that are on the dating scene will just want sex. That’s just the reality. That doesn’t mean everyone will and there are plenty of legitimate people across all perspectives.

[@siddhanttelang]

@@emmettdonkeydoodle6230 Real Relationship is based on genuine LOVE , CARE AND SUPPORTING your partner in all ways possible. Real Relationship is based on SELFLESS ACTS and with the genuine DESIRE of spending your entire life with that person . Today's CULTURE is obsessed with SEX instead of being obsessed with LOVE . We must strive towards creating and maintaining such a society wherein PEACEFUL AND LOVING FAMILY is the ultimate aim rather than SELFISH MEANINGLESS SEX OBSESSED SOCIETY .

[@fondasharkey-wyatt9944]

Very interesting. I am in a monogamous relationship, and truly don't want to be with another person in the same way that I am with him. It is not out of insecurity and I totally trust him. It has also been for 29 years, now. I also agree with the points brought up, that for some people, it is different. Though I don't understand, I don't have to. My favorite saying is "Understanding Makes Tolerance Unnecessary", but in this case, I don't feel I am merely tolerating differences. I accept that people are different, and as long as it is concentual, and noone is hurt, it's ok. Thank you for the explanations. I'm always willing to learn.

[@syntaxusdogmata3333]

Thank you, Fonda. Nailed it.

[@Danilingusness]

I also am a monogamous person. My needs require one person. To me one person who shares the same need of wanting one person for life is the same as having different meals every day. I do not envy anyone else having sex with other people in open or poly relationships. For me, one person is enticing and more than enough to keep me happy. Everyone requires different things in love to be happy. It's not always accurate to say it's human nature to not be monogamous. It's not that simple. Humanity is not simple. I won't judge anyone else for their choices of lifestyle. Just saying, it is not that easy and clear cut over all living human beings at this time to compare sexual encounters to food. "One meal for life" feels wrong to describe monogamy. It's not like there can't be many platonic relationships in your life that is just as uplifting and enjoyable to add to current relationships to feel complete and balanced. There are many ways to be happy and feel satisfied. It's just not the same for everyone.

[@aeonjoey3d]

It's always seemed to so obvious to me that the expression of understanding and tolerance is one that is misunderstood - because we have our own understanding, it is what we feel and use - this relationship type is what is right (for me). and that feeling of "right for me" is all it is. if wearing grey and black is right for me vs wearing red and green - we don't question that, we may not think it's flattering on someone else, but who would we be to tell someone that they shouldn't do what they do. that feeling of 'right for me' is what everyone is feeling about their own circumstances, and no one would accept being told it's wrong (unless it's illegal or something lol) so why do we think what our view of someone else - matters to them in any way?

[@UkeCan1]

Fonda Sharkey-Wyatt : "Understanding Makes Tolerance Unnecessary." Love that! Borrowing!

[@JUSTtinaChen]

You are seriously an awesome person. Being able and willing to admit you're wrong on the internet is so awesome. Especially bc you're a scientist and in Hollywood! You're one of my favorite people bc how down to earth you are!

[@senawasgehtsiedasan6127]

thought the same she is just awesome!!!👏👏

[@NeoDerGrose]

Mayim would never make a claim like that, that's why she's so awesome. She doesn't put her livestyle above others.

[@whitexblack397]

I totally agree!

[@littlefootfeet]

+

[@Rita-km7bw]

This is so true, I totally agree

[@ReallyLoudMusic]

Can't go wrong with sincerity.

[@Pinetree282]

For decades I’ve always looked for ways to tell people, “You were right!” (When I thought they were.) For the smallest things. People love to hear it. That you heard them, remembered, and now agree. I never considered saying, “I was wrong.” might be just as powerful.

[@Debbimartin]

I very much appreciate Mayim's reconsideration of her original opinion. While it is not a lifestyle choice for her, she has confirmed on many levels, the legitimacy of the desire for others to express their love/sexuality differently. It takes a strong person to admit their error/misconception and I respect her so much for having that strength.

[@miavonni]

Admitting her error because she's speaking as a heterosexual female? that's ridiculous

[@iridescentsquids]

​@@miavonni The fact that she tried to pass off her personal feelings as "science" should, by itself, be universally offensive. This has nothing to do with being a heterosexual female. If she wants to admit she stepped in it, and point out precisely how she did, what's it to you? There's nothing ridiculous about admitting our mistakes. Any more than there is in people have healthy debates and disagreements so as to grow and hone beliefs.

[@miavonni]

@@iridescentsquids passing off her feelings as science is offencive? How very trendy of you, that in itself is almost embarrassing, absolutely ridiculous!

[@jackheinz8479]

what about being open-minden and having open relationships?

[@KyrinaSpellweaver]

I admit I hadn't seen the original video (KZbin had recommended this after another video) but it's really nice to see when anyone can admit to being wrong (myself included). I also have to admit I also have a lot of misunderstanding about consensual non-monogomy and it's also a thing I need to be more respectful of.

[@borgCube100]

Daniel what??

[@weirdhuman627]

+Daniel Polygamy means marrying more than one person, which is illegal. An open relationship is not polygamy.

[@charlyngardner]

Thank you for this. Your self critique is welcomed. Please do not stop. Continue to make videos just like this. Please. Videos like this, where someone with a platform says "I was wrong, here is what I learned" gives permission for others to also admit their mistakes.

[@calichef1962]

I wish I could give your comment 10,000 thumbs up!

[@keerthichandra376]

I love how you read out ur findings as if it were your thesis. A scientist is as a scientist does. 😍

[@jennskinn]

I was thinking the same thing!

[@shadowdrakon9913]

It’s not science to simply listen to an anecdote and take it is as fact. That’s willing obedience to propaganda

[@keerthichandra376]

@@shadowdrakon9913 you didnt get the jist of what I said

[@PopBandit]

@@shadowdrakon9913 The sad part is that actually is science and you are wrong dude. Lmao

[@shadowdrakon9913]

@@PopBandit Science needs to be proveable through experimentation? Like…i agree with the video kinda, but its not science, just opinion.

[@maryjaynemay3410]

I've always been a fan. I love your approach to life. Always seeing things from other prospectives. Very grown up...and I'm 66...learning still every day. You're the best !!

[@raeven5035]

My only problem with polyamory is how many people act like its the "truest way to love" and that all other ways are selfish and possessive. To me being polyamorous WOULD BE SELFISH. I can only speak for myself but I know for me polyamory would feel like using people for my own convenience and I do not want that for myself. If you need to have freedom and openness cool but dont tell me that makes you more loyal or committed because by definition it doesnt. You may have a different kind of commitment but they arent the same kind of loyalty and you cant even begin to try to devalue my experience because of that. I try my best not to dehumanize poly relationships but I feel that as it becomes trendier many use it as an excuse to cheat and cause harm more than to be honest and open and that is NOT what it should be about. That is an insult to everyone in any kind of relationship

[@castellanoscristina]

If you want to talk about it, I'm here. I'm poly, and have been in monogamous relationships before. Both have been wonderful, as well as challenging. The idea that selfishness is not present in a monogamous relationship is problematic. I can tell you, I would hope to be a support to my partners as they are to me when either gets sick, need affection, need to consult about life struggles, or just need companionship. Polyamory also brings jealousy on a regular basis, like any monogamous relationship would; this requires full honesty to work through. Neither is lifestyle is a perfect fit to most, but at least we have options. I hope you are happy and living the life that fits you best. By the way, cheating on someone is defined a lying (even by omission) to a partner about your emotional or sexual experiences or entanglements; the whole premise of being poly is to be honest with yourself and others.

[@floydseaton7907]

Raeven Well you can put whatever spin you want on it but if you go into a monogamous relationship have kids get married then years later dicide you want to try this and that out it’s called cheating

[@castellanoscristina]

Floyd Seaton That suggests that people are not allowed to change their needs and desires. For example, if a couple has lived in a home for 5 years, and one of the spouses wants to try a new career that changes their lifestyle, would this be also cheating? The original expectations were changed, but they were honest about their needs. If both agree with a full picture and make their own rules, how is that cheating?

[@floydseaton7907]

Cristina Castellanos I did not say people cannot change as we change all the time if both agree to it fine but sometimes people agree because they do not want to lose partner who is pushing that agenda eg I was with a partner who was not keen on sex so I told her I will sleep with someone else and she said that would be fine as long as I stayed with her and I said it would not be fine because if I slept with that someone else I would be gone with that someone else if that happened the problem is nothing is black and white but different shades of grey

[@ajmeyers5661]

+Raeven - *"My only problem with polyamory is how many people act like its the "truest way to love" and that all other ways are selfish and possessive."* - imo I think of it as the self-righteousness of the newly converted. Have you ever had friend who has switched from vegetarian to vegan and suddenly looks down on anyone who isn't vegan? I have and it strikes me as probably coming from the same place. Just my opinion on it though, cheers!

[@intutivetarot7596]

Super impressed you're such a good sport about something you personally can't relate to but can be unbiased.

[@robertkotsopoulos6834]

Apacalypstick except rape

[@sarahadams7206]

Apacalypstick honey, she grinding her teeth right now.

[@bluesteel6310]

It's not a virtue to be unbiased about something when one should in fact be bias about it.

[@2991jm]

Dr. Bialik, Thank You. I watched the video you mentioned, was angered by it, but also recognized that you were simply speaking from your personal perspective. What I commend MOST is your willingness to review your assertions- and walk the talk of someone committed to learning, growing and providing respect of others agency to live life differently than you might choose. If our elected leaders could do that, our world would look drastically different! I am one if the 3-5% you mention and one of the “educated professionals “. As a Marriage & Family Therapist, I know “my way” of being is not “the only way”. It’s just the one that works for me. Thanks again 🙏🏼✌🏼

[@EternalLizdom]

Mad respect for listening, learning, admitting, educating, and apologizing.

[@ericsalles1424]

For decades I have always felt out of touch with my environment. It could be because as a child I was sexually abused multiple times. The moment that happened, I felt detached from the world and it continues to this day(I am an actor in a theatre ensemble in Savannah,GA and even though I am popular with my ensemble members and audiences alike I still feel detached). Yet, I long for human companionship on a deeper level.....meaning that sex was NEVER on my top ten list of accomplishments. Unlike my friends or many people I know, I have never had a "one-night" stand. I can't....it's not the way I am wired and it seems like an empty gesture to me. I don't judge my friends/acquaintances (ok maybe a little) because if it makes you happy well then roll with it. I just know in my heart that no matter how long you live, life is too short and like the brilliant quote you read at the end of your video....finding ones authentic self is a privilege and I think the challenge is to find out how that self you have created fits in the world you want to live in. Maybe that's why I enjoy acting because it helps me to connect on some level.

[@LindyHoppingMidwife]

You are such an amazing person. I admire your intelligence, your kindness, your honesty, your openness, and your willingness to set aside pride in favor of gaining a deeper understanding of a topic. You are so freakin' cool.

[@marlenavandyke5480]

🤐

[@lordfarquaad8267]

I’ve been in a consensual non-monogamous relationship for 13 years, married for 11 of those years. It started originally because of how young we were and the geographical distance between us and our desire not to place limits on each other. I didn’t see your other video but the reason this relationship works for us is that we trust each other and know we can’t provide everything for each other, as much as we might like to. I appreciate you being so open minded and bringing these topics to the surface. You’re wonderful.

[@youtubefans510]

not to place limits on each other beautiful thats where potential problems can arise because where are all those feelings for others supposed to go its a bit like partial celibacy

[@chilixocoltl]

I'm only vaguely familiar with you, and this was my first exposure to your channel, but I have to say you've gained a lot of my respect with your mature, thorough reaction to being corrected on important information. I'm definitely going to watch more of your videos!

[@pianotm]

Yes, same!

[@carlosbriceno5252]

Lo que no sabes de las open relationships flyligas.com/Yp7u

[@brittanypanda9348]

This is awesome. So many people who make mistakes refuse to apologize, or downright deny the fact that they made a mistake. I love Mayim for her seemingly down to earth personality and just all around incredibleness. Lol.

[@grumpyinbrooklyn6347]

She had no reason to apologize, if anything she had a chance to expand her knowledge of the topic, cool, a follow up video, fine too. But that's no reason to apologize. She was talking from her experience from the start, and opinion, and done tactfully, I might add.

[@iridescentsquids]

"But that's no reason to apologize. " If there's ever a time to apologize, its when you misrepresent people's behavior that you're judging.

[@ladymarlieuriberamirez6937]

I really like it!.. Sometimes i feel that we, as humans are not moving foward, but the fact that we can discuss every issue with such naturality, gives me hope... Great use of the internet... the world is really changing.... Thank you. .. Greetings from Colombia.

[@FrancesShear]

Frances Bernard here.Excellent video. Probable a lot of us people were told a lot of wrong things about relationships Mayim. Once I learned better, no longer do I have any excuse.

[@rgbcn]

Loved the last quote you read from the comments. And we need more people saying "I was wrong". I am a lot of times. We build our opinions and choices based in our experiences and knowledge. If it's not your choice it doesn't mean it can't be the choice of others.

[@gabudovx6913]

Regina rgbcn Oh hi I follow you on instagram 😂😂

[@rgbcn]

hehe I'm here too! :D

[@gabudovx6913]

Regina rgbcn 👋💚😉

[@danytiger373]

Regina rgbcn 👏👏👏👏 Excellent post!

[@bluesaturn222]

I follow you on tumblr :D

[@imatgrrl]

I have been with my husband for 30 years. We are honest and trusting and monogamous. I know some people who are in open relationships, many people in monogamous relationships. Both kinds relationships make people happy and unhappy. Being a person is hard. Everyone should just work really hard on being as good as they possibly can be and minding their own business

[@judyguadalupe]

I kind of agree with your view on open relationships. But I love that you own up to getting things wrong though. So yeah. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@gtanner997]

Your ability to own a mistake makes you even more amazing. It's so important to know we can't always grasp somebody else's reality, and that's ok.

[@MarioAbo123]

These videos are so important. Beng able to listen, take it in and admit you were wrong or at least reflect n someone elses view point, is really how we can change the world.

[@bernadette1404]

I love your humility. Thankyou

[@MayimBialik]

you are welcome :)

[@britneyann6227]

Everyone has there own opinions and ways of life. Just because your opinion differs from someone else's, doesn't make you boring, old, or anything other then human. People are who they are and no one should be judged because of it. It's very big of you to address things you may have gotten wrong and people you may have offended. But people shouldn't be so hard on you because we all get things wrong sometimes. Love your videos and I can't wait for the next one to be up.

[@Winterborn5]

My wife and I have been in an open relationship for a couple years now and it’s been great. We’ve been married for 18 years and are very happy with each other. She’s my girl and alway comes first before any other relationship. We date and have fun with other people. Our one rule is “no surprises”. If she wants to go out with or sleep with another guy, she knows I want to meet him first. If she does it behind my back, I consider that cheating. The same rule applies to me as well. Some of her boyfriends haven’t worked out but we are all still friends and hang out. One of her past partners is now a very close friend of mine. Bottom line: be open and honest about it and there will be no issues. But if you have any kind of jealousy issues, don’t even attempt open relationships. It won’t work for you.

[@youtubefans510]

to be open and honest is exactly what people are afraid of people suggest an open marriage and there partner has a response DIVORCE

[@Winterborn5]

@@youtubefans510 then they are not the right one. if they go straight for divorce without talking, listening, debating, or learning...my response would be "k bye." I dont have time for that shit.

[@stephanieev2332]

It is just so refreshing to see an apology video that is thoughtful, articulate and wholly authentic whilst maintaining your own belief in what is right for yourself. So much admiration for you right now and wish that others would demonstrate the same willingness to learn from others. Excellent video.

[@lawsonbrinton682]

Hello Stephanie

[@chrisboyd4433]

So I've always been a fan of Mayim. Now I RESPECT her. Way to go.

[@betsyrich]

I barely have the energy for my monogamous relationship, to be honest. I would be an empty cup to more than one :\ You are too cool for coming back and chatting about mistakes

[@jonord84]

But by that rationale, you would also have 2 or more people pouring into your cup. So even though you'd be giving more, you'd also be getting more 😉

[@jonord84]

Also I agree with what you say about her admitting mistakes! It's too rare these days!

[@jonahw.3435]

"Heterosexual baby making behaviour" is probably one of my new fave phrases😂

[@bronminett4042]

Same 😂🤣😂 sounds like something Sheldon would say

[@StyrThrenodia]

"that's not HBMB, my friend!"

[@Prettymapleleaf]

You are so down to earth! I love that you made this follow up video Mayim! You are wonderful!

[@MayimBialik]

thank you lady!

[@krisdaschwab912]

what me worry The only thing that's vile about any of this is your comment about the topic.

[@lizzyhoins8282]

To OC yes I agree she is wonderful! To what me worry In my experience looking in to my local polyamoras community they are very proactive about safe sex practices. This means very low percentages of STI get passed around.

[@d.m.173]

I wish more people who think.... then either admit when they are wrong. Too many people do not want to think, learn and grow as a person. Thanks Mayim, you are setting a good example and maybe in watching this someone else will do the same and maybe it will even catch on!

[@resveries_]

So much respect to see you outright admitting you said things that were incorrect. Very few people are capable of that, and it’s nice to see that there are people able to acknowledge past mistakes; especially when it’s someone in the public eye realizing the impact they have on their audience. Kudos to you for being amazing :)

[@LeslieHaber]

Your honesty and sensibility never fails to impress me! And I love that you, along with everybody else, are continuously learning! That’s what it’s all about! You’re my scientist superhero!

[@lawsonbrinton682]

Hello Leslie

[@A.J.K87]

Wow, great video! I think it's awesome that you are willing to admit you were wrong and learn from it. There are so many people that just double down when they get challenged on their views. Especially on the internet. I think that's also why so many discussions about social issues become so toxic. Nobody is willing to listen carefully to what the other has to say and simply react based on their own prejudices about other people. Hopefully more people will follow your example. I think it's also important to keep in mind that although someone may have no desire to engage in a behaviour or doesn't understand it, it doesn't make it wrong or immoral. I have no desire to listen to EDM, nor do I understand the appeal of that music. But that doesn't make listening to EDM wrong or immoral. I think a lot of people are scared that if they approve of something they are expected to participate, when this is clearly not the case. I heard a lecturer once say(paraphrased): Don't base your sexual morality on what grosses you out, because there are people out there that are grossed out by what you do in the bedroom. So it's not a good basis for morality. This wasn't aimed at you specifically Mayim, it was more a general statement.

[@parabolicpawn]

Having sex with multiple partners does in fact increase your risk for STDs. This is common sense. However,if banging around is your thing,then go for it. But be warned. If you are not all in,then people can really get hurt. These types of relationships are more difficult than monogamous relationships. The hardest part is you and your partner being on the same page. I myself would have to use protection EVERY time,even with my partner. And be very neutral in my feelings towards her to pull this off. Love you shamy!!

[@dianahyrya5760]

If you think that majority of guys only sleep with their wifes then you are in denial. You shall use protection EVERY time even if you think that he is monogamous. That is why it is better to let husband to be honest than just cheat behind your back and risk your health. The guys ARE doing it any way with the most easiest women putting their wives health at risk! It is horrible with what kind of women they do it and don't feel gross. We can't stop them. Some do it once per year some regularly. Many wives who got STD used to think their husband were monogamous

[@sfex9]

Not using protection every time for whatever reason, included being with a monogamous partner, actually increases the chance to get STDs. That is common sense. I don't know anyone in open relationships, but I do know people who have gotten STDs from their partners.

[@rebeccahorne9487]

Having multiple partners increases your risk, yes... But "having multiple partners" includes having them sequentially, not just simultaneously. A person who has had three monogamous, sexual relationships over the course of five years has roughly the same level of risk as somebody who has been in a five-year-long polymorous relationship with three people.

[@havensabaini7334]

You warm my heart with your compassion and empathy. Your ability to square things up, when you’ve been misinformed is exemplary!

[@DStamper.Florida]

Good for you for admitting that something you said was not correct. Takes a really big person to admit when they're wrong especially on such a large platform.

[@Verdant11686]

Mayim! You should totally be invited for a Ted Talk :)

[@byronmurphy1977]

Darren Harvey I agree

[@ayidas]

Excellent idea!!

[@danytiger373]

Darren Harvey May I ask what TED talk is? I keep hearing about them and would love to learn more. I apologize for my ignorance!

[@audreywessels1323]

Dany Tiger they're educational talks on a wide range of topics from different speakers around the world. Just type it into KZbin and you'll find lots to watch 🙂

[@maggiemar84]

ted dot com

[@emberlynkelley5434]

I'm not even going to read any more comments (idk why I ever started) but I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I recently came out as poly and it's turned my life on its head. It has been such a heartbreaking struggle trying to love myself authentically when I'm met by hatred and negative opinions of me and people like me everywhere I go. This video shows me that maybe more people out there may be willing to understand and validate us. I just want everyone to be able to love as their hearts see fit as long as it is consensual and those involved parties are all happy and cared for.

[@Jessi-sj3zx]

My best friend went through this a few years ago. Through trying to love and support her during her amazing journey of self love and acceptance of her true self, I grew. I got to educate and learn so much opening my ideas and making me less judgmental and more supportive. I even realized some of my family members were poly. Just quietly living their lives hidden in plain sight. I hope you find your support and kindness in the world. There is so much ignorance and negativity. But there is also enlightening happening every day through kindness and care. ❤️

[@verschleierung]

I have recently done the same about 4 months ago. I've been married for 14 years and been with my partner for 18 years. We have two kids together. Learning to be honest and not just placate to get along is the hardest lesson thus far. I'm not sure our marriage will last but I have begun to understand myself and many of my short-comings thru this. I hope you are finding the peace you are seeking. I see mine just over the horizon.

[@Selfemployedmildautisticperfor]

Amen well see this more tomorrow or when I come across it again but ya and cool she has this channel

[@IntrovertedLoLo]

Diseaseeeeeee

[@deirdrerdj]

This is not something you ARE, it's something you DO. So, no, not everyone is going to find your actions morally acceptable.

[@mole62ssf]

Friends Pat and Stephen have been together thirty years, married for a chunk, and remain deeply in adore. At one point along the knowing them, I learned theirs was an open relationship, open both to love and/or sex with an other. My surprise was seated wholly in the protestation "But they're so in love!" They are, yes, truly and unconditionally. I do note an element of judgement in my reaction. It's there, like wrinkles and age spots. I notice and name it. It roots, I believe, in my lack of understanding how it would feel to be consensually non-monogamous. I look back at my relationship with my husband and try to imagine him with someone else. To think of him touching some other face with the tenderness he caressed mine, to tell another person "I love you" with the same lilt and honey he said it to me. And when saying it, to feel the same depth, the same expanse, with which he loved me. These imaginings hurt. They do. Does this make me a selfish person? I guess when it came to Aric I was. I wouldn't ever begrudge him spending time with friend or family or off on his own, but to love some other person while loving me? To express that love physically? My head is shaking. Maybe I'm a greedy woman, wanting him to have been in love with only me. Actually there is no maybe about it. I was greedy. I wanted all the minutes I could get in his presence. I resented his sleep sometimes because it meant I couldn't hear his thoughts, his laugh, feel his kisses. Maybe had we had thirty years rather than just the four before his death, maybe after forty years, or maybe even twenty, I would have broadened myself to the point of agreeing to non-monogamy, but I wouldn't put money on it. I loved that Aric was the one I felt entirely content with. I revel knowing I was the person who could make him giggle, that mine were the thoughts he would always listen to, always consider, that mine was the body he wanted his to entwine. Mine is a monogamous heart. Aric's was as well. We were each other's only. That was us being true. That said, I love my friends and no longer feel any judgement about their relationship being open. Your video helped me rid the last drops of that judgement. I will to the tooth and nail defend the right of another couple to be consensually non-monogamous. Be open! Be expansive. Be true to yourselves.

[@552mustang]

Marianne Wade We don't need a novel lady. Nobody reads more than the first paragraph. Keep it short and to the point

[@TheLaLaKay]

552mustang Fuck you dude I thought it was a beautiful and well written comment. No one is forcing you to read it.

[@552mustang]

Lana Valas LOL Its a bunch of liberal crap housed in nice, sentimental, touchyfeely bullsh-t. Lets be honest. There is nothing normal or natural about people who openly f-ck around in a relationship. Oh but they loooooveee each other right? Thats what this sentimental bullsh-t is saying right? No they dont. These people know internally they are garbage morally. And dollars to doughnuts theyre not happy at all.Thats the the great thing about humanity, you can try and run from morality and couch immorality in all kinds of ways like 'acceptaaaancee' but you cant ever take away the part of you that knows what youre doing is wrong. Because ya feel it whether or not you want to

[@SSelkie3]

Well I'd say you're entitled to your own understanding, we may disagree because I like to read the whole comment and then post, but that's okay. I see nothing wrong with the liberal aspect, by definition liberalism isn't this monster many think it to be. Its just about being open minded and accepting really, and conservatism is about being mindful, cautionary, and pragmatic, both in balance are healthy overall. There's my paragraph I guess.

[@SSelkie3]

Also morality is a very subjective and complicated thing, not something one can condense to one closed minded perspective. Cynicism is a death sentence to outside understanding. It just makes people blind as a bat to differing lifestyles.

[@rdeloss]

Your candor and nerdy approach to this is endearing! I have a lot of respect for this kind of openness and checking one's own blind spots. Muy bien, Mayim!

[@OnePercentBetter]

Is this Sheldon's girlfriend?

[@alexandercastillo7046]

Dude! My thought exactly. Is she???

[@TCt83067695]

@@alexandercastillo7046 This is Mayim Bialik. I think his gf is or was Amy Farah Fowler

[@dianaking1106]

Nope. It's Sheldon's wife lol.

[@bethanykennedy812]

This is the actress that plays Amy Farah Fowler on The Big Bang Theory if that's what you mean.

[@eliatorres2486]

Nope it's Blossom! 🤣

[@rickisplace8731]

This is my favorite apology video ever

[@mirsey93]

Smileyhatdance 42 I agree. She did more than apologize. She did her homework and explained her research on how she got to her knew understanding of open relationships.

[@Bogeyman19DidNotScareMyAss]

Smileyhatdance 42 Fuck apologies. Say what you feel. Say what you mean. If others don't like it then that's their problem. Apologies are shit parents make 5 year olds do. I'm an adult. Fuck apologies and fuck you if you have ever wanted an apology.

[@DasMieps]

But she was wrong about the facts in the first video. Saying what you mean is different from spreading false facts.

[@ericbitson8927]

A well informed apology concerning an honest mistake. Good on ya 👍 I just wish it wasn't so rare to see

[@jamestunedflat8942]

My wife invited her boyfriends into the house under the pretense that they were roommates and were helpful to the household. I knew something was off, but I didn't want to believe it. She broke me on all levels, and we are now going through divorce. If you're an open person and have a classical view of marriage, when someone wants polyamory of any kind the marriage is over, but you drag your feet getting a divorce " trying to make it work" which just prolongs the suffering. My personal opinion is that some people can choose to do it, but this crap should NOT be normalized.

[@iridescentsquids]

Everyone has a story. Yours the gullible pushover, now angry and blaming everyone else.

[@cez19]

Personally i dont judge anyone who's in an open relationship, to each their own. However my personal view on the subject is simple: i believe that people engage in that open relationships for the same reason people cheat on their partners. One person simply isn't enough. And if people agree to the terms of being in an open relationship then that's good for them. Monogamous and polyamorous relationships should equally be respected. But i don't want to be in an open relationship nor do i want to be with someone who wants to be poly. We simply wouldn't be compatible. And i wouldn't want to interfere in someone's happiness nor force someone to be with me under my conditions.

[@iridescentsquids]

The concept of “enough” is interesting. Many things in life are “enough” or even “spectacularly satisfying” without being exclusive. I think you might actually mean your “everything”. Short of making your monogamous partner your “everything” -your top priority- there’s always room for other people.

[@travis6694]

@S.I.V. yeah, you want love from multiple partners because “one” isn’t enough. If it was, then it was be monogamous.

[@MsValeriaHeart]

To be fair, biologically human beings are not monogamous. Otherwise your first crush would have been your last.

[@SilverishKitten]

Just because you call it "personal opinion" doesn't make it any less bigoted or downright assholish lol. Whenever you presume to know what goes on in another person's head when they tell you otherwise, you are being and asshole and invalidating their experience. Please remove yourself from these discussions if this isn't something you can grow out of.

[@SilverishKitten]

@@travis6694 I can be happy with both one partner (and currently have only one) but remain open to the thought that if someone comes along who I could be with, I could explore that. But I am equally happy in the current relationship. Just because you don't like or get polyamory doesn't mean that others are like you. Just go outside and be in the relationship you want and do things that make you happy. Leave others to live life how they want.

[@katieamarsh]

Why can't more people reconsider what they believe and apologize? It's so important, even more so as a parent.

[@xapemanx]

her beliefs are just as important, how do you know yours are correct?

[@davidmcgregor4537]

She did a video stating it was coming from the perspective of hetero sexual relationships. It wasn't a bloody course on relationships as a whole. It was her perspective. She had no reason to apologize and pander to those who felt wronged because the video wasn't about them.

[@JLDReactions]

@Tyvek So, even if someone says "The Holococaust was wonderful, and I hope we have many more". That opinion is okay? That's just an awesome difference? Some people love real life snuff films. They believe they are wonderfully erotic, you know, despite the dead girl in a bag. Is that opinion okay? No need to apologize or re evaluate one's beliefs?

[@alexalexander6297]

Yeah. She apologized but I can't see anywhere or at any point that she reconsidered what she believes. She simply wanted to clear up any misuse of terminology and/or any generalizations she made since she respects data.

[@alirpa77]

David McGregor Omg! You hit the nail on the head. I am SICK of this stupid culture of having to apologize for "offending" people when, in reality ( where they may not live! Lol ) nothing offensive was said, they just didn't LIKE it.

[@SlimThrull]

Okay, how can a relationship which allows sex with others NOT put you at an increased risk for STDs? That simply flies in the face of reality.

[@DasMieps]

Because many polyamorous people take safer sex more serious than monogamous people.

[@SlimThrull]

Some or even most, perhaps. But not all. It just takes one.

[@VenuSalsa]

When you are sleeping with people that didn't enter the relationship with a STD and you are having sex only with each other, it doesn't matter if you have one or two or three partners. It all does come down to the people you deal with. People can cheat, in any relationship. When you sleep with people that sleep with other people, the people they sleep with might not be so honest or knowing or maybe the people those people slept with. To not catch a STD, be with people that you know have truly good character, the ones that are able to pause (good emotion regulation etc) before acting and when they did get into something, check themselves before joining in again on something and be willing to where something is up, communicate about that and step out of the occasion where that's the best thing to do. Whether there is more risk, I think depends on the people involved and the context. Can/will the context agreed on be enough to satisfy them and are they evolved enough.

[@chipzdara]

This woman is soooo inspiring. The more I watch her videos, the more I admire her as a human being. Intelligence is really everything. She isn’t afraid to be vulnerable and accept that she was wrong and apologise. She’s a hero.

[@supplanter_j5946]

This video was excellent, I think you approached the mistakes made in your previous video very well and professionally, it is very clear that you saw feedback and did your research, thanks for another great video 👍🏻

[@skyocence]

Some folks are talking about how this is a video made out of caving under pressure. How do those folks know that? Could it not be a simple issue of a person, who after being presented with facts and more information, is now able to see previous mistakes made, and able to change their minds on an issue. Or is it that those folks believe that they are always right, and incapable of changing their perspectives when presented with new and factual information?

[@3damnthis]

skyocence I completely agree. She is scientist and academic, which means she interacts with facts in a way most normal people wouldn’t. She has learnt and is presenting her altered ideas coherently and respectfully. I just don’t understand why people can’t give her credit for the kind of person she is.

[@janemims7987]

Wow. This didn't come across to me as caving at all. Where did people get that? She's a deeply thoughtful person. She did additional deep thinking about this issue as a result of the feedback she received and arrived at some different conclusions. Nobody is required to agree with her, but I hope people can at least respect her sincerity.

[@geministargazer9830]

People on the internet don’t get that people grow and change, that’s why people like Jeffree Star get controversy over things they did 12 years ago. 12 years is a long time

[@sarahp6554]

I love you for being open to constructive criticism and correction. It’s something very hard for many people to deal with. Thank you for not shutting down when someone challenges your ideas and understanding of various topics.

[@you-vi2tm]

AHH THANK YOU!! I broked up with my partner some days ago because I don't want to be non-monogamous. I have a tendency to look down on people who want different things that I do. But in this video you have such a confident sense of self but still understanding for others. Thank you. I will watch this as my break up healer. 💛🙏🏼

[@AFMRadio1]

Are you kidding me?? Like....who does this much research and takes this much consideration into a video? I. Love. It. I love that she took all these perspectives into account and really listened to her viewers. I love that even after taking all the information into account, she still formed her own opinion on the matter. And most importantly, I love that she was brave and "open" (ha) enough to even talk about a subject like this in a public forum.

[@annaschaben]

Thank you for this video. I am part of a closed triad with my husband of 27 years and our girl friend. We cant imagine my life anyother way. Being a bisexual female there was just something missing with just being married to my husband. And my husband was so loving and caring and let me introduce a beautiful loving woman to our mix. Prior to her, I was the only person he had been with. No this life wont work for everyone, but for us it works

[@marie-francoiset9402]

thanks for your honesty! of course your husband agreed to have another woman in the relationship that he also gets to have seggs with. What man wouldn't?? this is why straight hetero woman should *not* get seriously involved with a so-called bisexual man. you are agreeing to an open relationship automatically. A woman will never be enough to satisfy him. Just like your husband wasn't enough to satisfy you

[@nasx.6959]

Ye, your man does this because he loves u 😂

[@jakespur6094]

Mayim you inspire me. Thank you for your honesty. Love always.

[@itsrightbehindyou]

Wow... You are phenomenal. This is an amazing way to accept there is nuisance on issues, and still illustrate how personal views are inherently right.

[@Notta_Brat]

I am in an open marriage ... I only am with my husband ever... However my husband is bisexual and has my blessing to have another relationship with a man of his choosing... So we all get along and know our place

[@natsarimmgtow2157]

Yahushua SOS !

[@iridescentsquids]

@@natsarimmgtow2157 Natsarim want to teach you how loveless marriage is better. lol.

[@veronika4870]

aww

[@EllieMcHale1]

I love you! Owning your mistakes is awesome. Thank you for making this video.

[@VizioTVUser]

Ellie McHale said a nobody

[@Electobat]

That is science.

[@artistevolution]

Carlos Barreto oooooooohhhhh!!! 🙌🙌🙌🙌😂😂😂 loved this

[@jamesknight9540]

I'm very late to the party watching this but thank you so much for your thoughtful response! It's about choice in the consensual pursuit of happiness, and acceptance, respect and tolerance for the different but equally valid choice of others. You seem to come from that place and it's really refreshing - and inspiring - to see someone with your platform revisit a topic after further consideration. Thank you!

[@JamieAug]

I remember about 15 years ago, during a dinner my manager said to me, "You can walk out that door any time you want to." She said that in regards to her partner. Her thought was that you can't guilt or force someone to stay with you. You can change your mind about being with someone any time you want to. Being coupled up in this culture is highly valued, while being single is stigmatized. Single folks are seen as selfish, lonely, etc. Not everyone wants to be tied down with a romantic relationship (s). As long as they're honest with folks about it, there's nothing wrong with wanting a life that's different from mainstream.

[@jimc7022]

My wife and I were swingers for more than a decade. The people complaining to you are being dishonest. They are claiming this deep metaphysical meaning to this when really people swing because they have some freaky kinks. Don’t let them get all SJW ‘so offended’ crap. I’m a swinger and I wasn’t offended. Swinging is not for everyone. In fact it’s not for the vast majority of couples. I’ve discouraged far more couples from swinging than encouraged. You need to have a healthy and trusting relationship for years before you should even consider it. Swinging does not fix broken relationships. It does not bring distant lovers closer together. It just intensifies what’s already there. I’ve seen couples torn apart because they turned to swinging for all the wrong reasons. It is perfectly ok for you to have a negative opinion of ‘open relationships’ and you shouldn’t apologize for that. Everyone has the freedom to have and express their own opinion. You are not ‘inciting violence’ or ‘hatred’. Swinging has been around forever and a good majority of the population has always disapproved. Don’t let these drama queens pretend Nazis are going to drop from the skies and start killing swingers because you made a KZbin video. People today will find offense in anything you say. Even when they are not offended they will pretend to be or will be offended for someone else. You said nothing wrong in your last video and you should stick to your guns. Never give into these fake pearl clutchers and give them the victory of an apology. Correct some terminology mistake if you want but don’t apologize because you have an opinion on open relations that isn’t the same as some loud people on the internet. Stay strong girl 😊

[@theaclouds2124]

Jim C I have not been in a consensual non-monogamous relationship myself, but different people have different backgrounds. You may not have been bothered what she said, but it's not safe to assume others are in the same position as you. People in consensual non-monogamous relationships may have lost family and friends or have been disrespectfully treated because of others intolerance for their relationships. The people who were offended by Mayim's previous video were asking for a more accurate representation of their relationships. Mayim acknowledged that in this video and seemed happy to be better informed with mature constructive criticism. It seems she has no intention to make false assumptions and misrepresent a group of people, so it was only right of her to clarify the mistakes she made within the initial information that she presented.

[@angelicramirez8098]

Jim C. I value your honesty. And thank you for what you have written. Very well written

[@iridescentsquids]

Sort of but what’s great about what you’re saying vs what she said originally... you’re very clearly speaking for yourself, and she was speaking prescriptively about a topic she admittedly didn’t research at all. Sure she got criticized. Big deal. She also criticized others in her first video, labeling open relationships as psychologically “unnatural”, “against biology”, etc (recall exact same old hat arguments against homosexuality). Tolerance for disagreement goes both ways. We should embrace it. In my opinion getting the logic and facts right is the primary effort, but apologizing for basically making shit up about people in a judgy way was a perfectly legit reason to apologize, too.

[@marie-francoiset9402]

@@iridescentsquids yeah but to say that you were going to be killed because of an opinion on a youtube video is coersion for someone to backtrack on what they said. those are NOT the consequences of someone voicing their opinion, informed or not, on a video. that overreaction is what she is responding to. not from within herself. open relationships ARE dangerous for the majority of people for multiple varied reasons. so, she can express her opinion and ppl can disagree. but for her to backtrack due to threats is not cool. she shouldve stuck to her guns.

[@marie-francoiset9402]

it's been awhile since this post but i totally agree with you! she should've stuck to her guns and not given in to people screaming the sky is falling from one video on youtube.

[@TudorositiesbyMaureen]

It's never easy to admit when you are wrong, good job trying to correct it. Finding the right kind of relationship, discovering who you are as a person and what that means is not easy. Relationships and decisions about them are a means to and ends to find happiness in existing. Plus in those decisions with all the options, there are those who are happy living alone. The societal boxes that are laid out are not correct. We need to learn to listen to each other better and be kinder to one another.

[@emilyholtzclaw3327]

Wow, I have never seen a more sincere, detailed and beautiful apology. I just found your page today and I feel we may be very much alike. This is a very complex subject where more complicated detail seems to be continually emerging as I explore its depths. Thank you for educating me too

[@lawsonbrinton682]

Hello Emily

[@misstalulah9063]

For me consensual non monogamy makes total sense - I am multiply neurodivergent and i feel a lot of pressure in relationships, like I have to be everything for one person and i can’t cope with that. Additionally, as someone with chronic illness, if a partner can go and do things that I’m not well enough to do then I don’t feel like I am holding them back. Also there is a level of communication practised in polyamorous and other CNM relationships that I find incredibly helpful, and is practised far more in those relationships. Monogamous relationships just don’t tend to have that leaning towards that level of communication - I find it really hard to have those conversations (though once they are started I find them refreshing and important in every way). Additionally, there is usually something missing in a relationship with one person, but with ENM it doesn’t matter. You don’t need to wonder about those parts of yourself you are not able to explore. I am quite new to it, but I also really like not putting my expectations on someone else - if they meet someone they really like it feels far better to let them have that exploration - if I love someone I don’t want to ask them to limit themselves either. As long as we all communicate with each other as honestly as we possibly can, and are safe, then it feels like a far more honest way of interacting.

[@CammyWammy0313]

This is the first video of yours I've seen and I've gotta say it was fantastic! Opening up discussions about topics like this and just enabling yourself to see other perspectives is important, and I wish there were more in the world that understood that. There are always going to be differences amongst us and not everything is dangerous. Simply understand there are other ways of life and possibilities for abstract ideas to work in practice.

[@meaders2002]

As you say, there are different ways of life. There is the AIDS way of life, criminal ways of life, drug addiction, alcoholism and addictive behaviors of several kinds. Sexual promiscuity with its promise of STD's and dehumanizing exchanges which blur intimacy and utility. There is sexual freedom within and without marriage with its promise of variety, disease, home-wrecking. confusion among children of such unions and their emotional problems. There is the estrangement of neighbors and friends, family and work-fellows. Lastly there is the ego driven supposition by each individual so engaged that none of that stuff which has happened to everybody in the world for thousands of years will ever happen to them.

[@CammyWammy0313]

What makes raising kids in any open relationship different from divorced families? I have 4 parents and my dad went through tons of girlfriends as well. Also with nay sort of STD's there are obvious ways to prevent those things from happening. One being the fact that not every relationship is so openly promiscuous. I can't speak for everyone but there are plenty out there that still choose their partners wisely. Assuming that everyone inside of an open relationship bones everything in sight is definitely incorrect. There is no promise of STD's and if you think that it's because you make hasty conclusions about things you don't know enough about. Every situation is different. Things like this need to be looked at objectively. Not everyone isn't either an angel or a whore. The world just doesn't work like that.

[@meaders2002]

That shouldn't have happened either but it did. If all parties are getting along that is the limit of non-monogamous relationship that is healthy for children. Recognized divorce, actual continued association within a framework of support for the children is what is desirable.

[@Cylon39]

And Russian roulette is a fun game. I have heard of some people that have spun the drum many times and not blown their head off. And that makes it O.K. for everyone to play.

[@CurtisSmale]

While I'm glad to see someone who can admit wrong, I'm saddened by how quickly she bowed to a community without any scientific evidence for their explanations of sex and gender. Criticism from people does not always mean you are wrong. But when you are wrong it is important to know that the person pointing it out might also be wrong. There were some valid criticisms she covered like the multiple types of non monagamous relationships, but then went off a deep end when she engaged all those feminist buzzwords. I would have been happy to hear out the opinions of those that criticized her except that they did not validate their criticisms with any evidence, they only hurled angry contention.

[@margueritepeaden3445]

I don't care what anyone else's preferences are. I feel in this world you grab onto love where you find it, so anyone else's sexual orientation or preferences are there own business. That said for me personally I believe in the loving monogamous relationship I have shared with my husband for 46 years. I was a young woman of the late 60's and 70's when free love was the big thing. Even then I believed in and practiced a monogamous relationship for myself. I don't understand why so many in this world believe that their ideas or beliefs are the only valid ones. If what you feel, practice, or think causes no one else harm, what difference does it make? To me there is only one sure thing that we will all do, and that is to eventually die. And even that we will not all do the same way. I never felt you were trying to put down anyone with your previous video, just sharing your own personal thoughts.

[@autohmae]

The only mistake she made: is to make some assumptions. As a scientist she should know not to assume. First get some facts than draw a conclusion.

[@brittanypanda9348]

Marguerite Peaden my aunt got an std during that time. She was young and not in a relationship, but she was very attractive so she basically went to the bar, left with someone (girls too, even back then) and then proceeded to have a one night stand and never talk to them again. She said she probably spread it too, because she was only 19 and didn't know much about stds or protection. It's crazy how that compares to today!

[@brittanypanda9348]

autohmae I think some people do her research for her as well. She has before asked off camera if someone fact checked what she said, or where they found what she had said. So it might not be all her fault. I don't know for certain though. But I agree, whoever researched should have done more.

[@May04bwu]

I completely agree with you, Marguerite.

[@elise2914]

Good for you for taking time to learn more about others' experiences and owning up to having been a bit unfair in the past. It's confusing to have so many relationship models nowadays, but the positive thing is we all get to discover what works best for us without stigmatization. So long as people stay honest and safe, nothing wrong with that. Everyone is different!

[@aldomaresca9994]

this is the first time i see your youtube channel, and i loved it, you express yourself in a very concise and clear way, and you know how not to turn discussions into arguments, well done