i wasn’t supposed to live past 17 (vol. 18)

[@adhdoggo9614]

Stay alive please. I feel this way everyday, people love you.

[@tealeaf69]

❤❤

[@MILKYWAYGALAXY-r3z]

@@adhdoggo9614 🙂‍↕️ Das rooo0iightttt

[@d0mn6-d2d]

ah ah ah stayin' alive 🎶🎶

[@RobertDush]

400th like

[@Bloddheart]

sometimes I wish i wouldn't anymore

[@nanfrostcrystal9233]

I don't know you, Ito. I don't truly know what you have gone through or experienced besides the things you said in this video. I have only seen you for the first time here completely through pure chance. So because of that, I can't tell you that things will somehow get better. I don't know how things even are to you to ever ensure that that could even happen. So I won't. But what I can say is that even if we are complete strangers, even if we won't ever meet each other or see each other physically, that this was just a completely random chance encounter I have had with you; I can say that what you are going through, what you are experiencing is something I very deeply understand. I understand the feeling of not thinking you would live pass a certain age. I understand the feeling of not knowing what you are even doing after all this time. I understand how utterly lonely it feels being just the way you are, not knowing if you even deserve to be this way or not, and not having the energy to push through. I understand how utterly exhausting it is to just...exist, and not having a clue what else is there for you beyond that. I get it completely. I am still going through all of that. I still feel these things that you feel even now. And because of that, I know how hollow things can feel, even when you truly try to believe that it isn't. Which is why I truly do hope that you can talk to someone about it. Talk to someone about all of this. Not just simply through the internet, but through someone physically there for you. Your parents. Your friends. Just simply anyone you can reach out to who is willing to just listen to you. I know that maybe it won't fix anything. It sure didn't fix everything with me. But it absolutely helped in one thing; that being just having someone to talk and share these experiences. Even if they don't quite get it, even if they don't quite understand it, that's still a load off your chest. It helps. Even if it's just a little. You making this video is in essence, already doing something Ito. You are reaching out, and that is genuinely admirable and amazing. You just need to focus that onto your real life as well. Reach out to those that are already there, even if it's hard. Especially when it's hard. It's worth trying. Your attitude towards the end is also a hopeful one, and I think that they already means so much to a lot of people, and I think that it also means a lot to you as well. Because it shows that you do want things to be better, that you aren't fully willing to just let things stay the same, that you are trying in your own small ways to make a slight difference for your own sake. It's hard seeing those changes under a wider lens, but please, look back on this video of yours, this channel of yours, as proof that those changes are there, that they aren't going anywhere, that you are still here, still going even when you really really feel like you don't want to anymore. This video, this channel is proof that you aren't just existing, you are living as well. You can do something, even when it's difficult to know what to do. Start with the little things, small tiny changes within yourself and keep going from there. Don't ever feel like you have to make big changes to get better. Really, just making an effort is itself already making things better, in little ways and in your own pace. Ito, even when I don't personally know you, I do think that you are a good soul. Talking about this, sharing this, expressing this; all of this shows to me that you are. Believing it can be hard I know; I sure am struggling with that too. But what you can, and always have the option to do, is to just try, to keep going. The sentence that things will get better can be so damn hollow sometimes, especially when you are feeling the way you are feeling. But if you are willing to believe the words of a stranger like me, a stranger who believes that they understand what you are going through very well, then...the sentence does have some elements of truth in it. It can get better, as stupid and as ridiculous as that can sound. You don't need to believe it. You don't need to follow that mindset. No one should force or make you to. Just let yourself keep remembering that line is enough. Whether it will get better or not is not the point now; just focus on yourself and do whatever you can think about. Because that itself can be enough, and is. And hey, people are watching you even now, so I think that is something as well. Wished I could talk more to you Ito, but I really do hope that your present can be easier to get through. Not tomorrow, not yesterday, not the future, but just the now is enough. Just the now is all that matters.

[@raydong4680]

this dude smh XDDDDDDD

[@Art.Therapy93]

It's okay not to have a plan.

[@fallenangelcrimson]

i’ve been riding the waves and they’ve gone nowhere… sigh… i just don’t know anymore…

[@allewis4008]

This a rock solid truth

[@Art.Therapy93]

@@fallenangelcrimson where do you want them to take you?

[@fallenangelcrimson]

@@Art.Therapy93 maybe an waterfall…

[@Art.Therapy93]

@fallenangelcrimson why?

[@ImNotAYoutuber0]

As an guy almost double your age, trust me, life makes no sense, the reason we exist is basically a 1/(infinite) chance. No one can give you a reason to live, you don't need to prove anything, do you remember what your grandma did when she was 17? no. Do what you enjoy, if you want to watch anime your whole life till you die, do it. Book worm... do it... do what ever you want and you enjoy. I lost my drivers license today while police didn't even prove that i drove... (i actually didn't do anything) and it's gone forever because my father was driving my car and I have no proof, now I need to wait 5 years till i can make a drivers license again... it sucks but yeah I just distance myself from my father and that's it... life goes on. I enjoy anime, games, tinkering... designing...

[@cyberspectre8675]

Divorced guy of 35 here. Let me tell you something about plans. Having a plan felt great until the plan crumbled for reasons outside my control, and every aspect of my life was turned upside down. Since then, no matter how hard I struggle to come up with a new plan, it still feels like I'm living in a story where I was stricken from the script. But, as happy as I was before, that happiness was hinged on one plan with a false sense of security. Now, I'm starting to see that happiness can be found elsewhere, whether you have direction or not. Do things you like. Find joy in every day. Eat those snacks, play those games. It's a life worth living.

[@wateriswet2775]

This. Make plans if you want but don't rely on them, they are only the guideline of what you'd like things to happen. Hell, I'm 24 and I got no big plans in life, just living life one day at a time and having fun in anyway I can.

[@hearts4pinkie_]

i’m 20 and to be completely honest, i have no idea what i’m gonna do in my future, but i already know that i don’t want some huge career like a doctor or a lawyer. I’m just making it up as i go along, just living day by day

[@DeltaOfNothing]

What a great comment

[@solidifiedvomit5532]

its best not to let the bad thoughts over take us. And just take care of the things that matter most. To me that'd be my parents and my husband, but its really easy to feel like drifting off into nothingness and letting go of everything. The future is what im building up right now. And all im doing is just working. The obsession that happens with wanting to let go gets really annoying. Its best to try not to get muddied up with that stuff, as hard as it can really be. The challenge is what sets us up for the biggest ones that can happen in the future. Please be safe. ❤

[@koreannom]

A few more years and I'm 30, I still have no clue what I'm doing haha, I just grasp at whatever opportunity comes by. No one really has their life planned, and even if they are, life doesn't always go according to plan either. I think life is just literally improvising with whatever you have and whatever comes your way. We're in this together!

[@ShiinaHiyori]

I'm about turning 20 yo next year 😭 I'm so scared of adulthood life bro

[@koreannom]

@@ShiinaHiyori It'll be ok in the long run. You got this!

[@yaicachannel]

@@koreannom keep fighting !!

[@koreannom]

@@yaicachannel you too!

[@Oni-Joshu]

@koreannom This tbh. I'm close to your age. We all in these trenches together, and even though ultimately each of us has to bear the weight of our own burdens. I take solace in the fact that collectively, there are many others like me, and it wouldn't sit right with me to give up when they are all out there fighting the good fight aswell.

[@cheesy_yeety]

I really admire you for being able to express your feelings in such descriptive ways. I hope things get better, you're really strong

[@kobz2862]

I don't know what's with the algorythm sending me struggles of random asian girls in the middle of the night but ain't complaining either

[@CaiebesPunk]

The most Underrated comment

[@lehahiah81]

Same

[@expertarcher8542]

This is a refreshing comment to see in the sea of comments

[@NameIsKyy]

Casuality bring us here.

[@wagashi9440]

@@NameIsKyystruggler spotted???

[@AntiSimpTrooper-175]

"I dont rlly know what im doin" Same. Life didn't give me a tutorial..

[@lebensebs]

punch a log and see where the crafting recipes tell u to go i guess. that “log” being your purpose in life. find that purpose in life and live for it. im only 16, but i can spend the next 500 years playing music and never lose interest. find that thing you love, and work to fulfill that purpose. that’s garunteed happiness. gl brah 🙏

[@Neko20231]

Just study or work... really is not that hard. Some people are just lazy.

[@Cheesegr8torthegr8torofcheese]

Thank you. You're not alone. It was really nice listening. I think i need to take a break and just listen to others like me for a while.

[@gregorystockton8139]

I understand where you're coming from. The doctor told me I wouldn't live past 18. So I learned to live every day like it was my last. I learned not to worry. I'm sure it's harder being a girl. Hang in there, it's better to be than not to be.

[@LiquidSnakeSSJ4]

ever since i turned 16, i always imagined ending it at 30, but i'll be 29 in one month and time flies by. might as well live. same to you. nothing really matters in life. just live

[@0xssff]

fuck are you me?

[@Mattsb1011]

I've seen so many videos and stories online, but somehow, this one hit me hard. This video made me feel something again since god knows how long ago. Everything you said about being lost, feeling hollow, and the loneliness... You're not alone. It is excruciating to live every day knowing that things might get worse from now on and you're not prepared to face this reality that everyone is living, they wanting it or not. Growing up with the internet exposed me to things I wasn't ready for. It left me depressed, scarred by abuses and regrets. Now, at 19, I'm lost too. I'm chasing a fake dream I've weaved hoping for some purpose in this world. But all I've done is push away those I cared the most. Even tho all this is true, seeing you speak your mind in this video has made me feel something. I want to offer some advice, even if it's just a little. All I can say is that time heal all wounds! You have many talents and hobbies that are magnificent, a charismatic personality and thousands of online people who feel exactly the same as you and can relate to your problems. if you don't have a dream right now, set a goal for the future. It can be anything, even something silly, it doesn't matter bc It will give you the motivation to keep going, to improve each day and to enjoy the ride, since everything in this life is temporary and will go away. Be it sadness, regret, happiness, envy, anger... It will fade away eventually, becoming but a memory in the back of your mind of different times. Enjoy the moments you have, cherish those who care for you. Maybe one day you'll look back on these days as the good old days, when you had happiness and didn't even know it.

[@fernandoemh]

Oi, just stumbled upon this video on my algorithm for some reason. I was feeling kind of similar to what you describe when i was 16-17. I am 38 now and not much how changed regarding how i feel about everything but one key aspect changed: i am very happy. Somethings you have to learn through trial and error, you have to make lots of mistakes to get things right for you, because we are all very different from each other despite how similar we seem to be. Does your lack of purpose and meaning, your desire to not exist, birth from a particularly weird mix of chemicals in your brain? Could changing the mix make things better? Maybe, but pills don't change the core issue. I guess what i would suggest first is therapy sessions to discern if you suffer from some sort of bipolar disorder, or dysthymia and can only process happiness by a 3rd party validating your existence, or something similar. If you are a completely fine/normal human being that is just a bit confused about your place in life, maybe you need to work on yourself so you don't have to rely in others for validation and happiness. We all die alone in the end, and are stuck with ourselves with the rest of our lives, so work on improving your self image. Talk to yourself nicely, compliment yourself for everything you accomplish, set realistic goals for yourself, the smaller the better, meditation, self reflection before bedtime or after you feel like you made a mistake, go hiking, camping, to the beach, travel somewhere that looks nice. You need to make peace with yourself, and know that you are never alone when you got yourself. Once you forgive yourself, understand yourself, make peace with your own, you will notice that a heavy load is lifted off your shoulders. Things that happened to you and that were outside of your control in the past are NEVER your fault. THIS is another aspect where therapy can help us heal. About life without meaning, goals or friends, it's not as bad as society makes you think it is, but only if you are an introvert and it's the place where you thrive. Living to be happy, and become a better version of you just because you feel good about it, working on your talents, reading books, singing songs, making art, etc, just for yourself can feel amazing, but of course, it's not for everyone. If you don't derive any happiness from doing things for yourself, and you don't feel at peace being lonely, then i do not recommend this life of loneliness. If you feel like you want to experience things that other people are experiencing at your age, like you are missing out, then do experience them now. If there's a wall stopping you from taking the leap to action, make small steps to bring the wall down. You don't have to be strong, brave and reckless like in anime/movies, just need to be consistent and take one small step every day towards it. There are many opportunities that feel like if you don't take them now, they will never come back, but the truth is, they will later on in life, so don't pressure yourself to do what you feel society demands of you right away, take your time. Every person has their own clock, and trust me, they are all moving, just with a different timing. If you want to make meaningful friends and relationships with people who share your same interests, look for virtual or physical places where they share their time, their art, their feelings and their craft. Discord is great for this, just got to find the right community and slowly share what you want with people you find interesting there. If you like playing DnD, or a tcg, or any ttrpg, you could try going to your local gaming store and sharing some valuable time with fellow nerds. If you are into engineering, science, astronomy, there are forums online to share your passion, whatever it is. What's important is to find places where you can create meaningful connections through horizontal relationship bonding. Depending on your country and how small your town is, different apps will be useful in different ways too, where do people hang out in your town? Now, something important to keep in mind, as someone who has moderated and talked with some big content creators on Twitch/KZbin. Content creation is NOT a good way to create meaningful relationships, because the content creator curates the content to appeal to their audience while also holding all the power to steer the conversation, the topics and the persona they want to portray. Although useful monetarily, para-social relationships you will form with your audience will not fill the void in your soul you are probably feeling. If you really want friends, you need to start knowing people, and making mistakes, and being clumsy, and sharing a lot of things. And that's fine. And it will hurt, for the same reasons you share on the video, you will feel bad because they have things you lack, and they will feel the same way because you have things they lack, but the beauty is where you can share what makes you both happy, because in this process new things that weren't possible alone are born. You can be happy, and anyone reading this right now, feeling the same, i can tell you, you can be happy too, believe in yourself, there is a light inside all of us, of course some will be brighter than others, the color will be different, the intensity, but the size doesn't impact their quality. Share it if you want, but first, acknowledge its existence. We all have a time and a place. We can all be happy. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself.

[@gwntI]

Oi Oi Oi

[@123r95]

​@@gwntI girl, i just cried reading that comment and now im laughing while crying Thank you😭

[@bean6725]

@@fernandoemh couldn’t have said it better

[@Lynnroseeee]

thanks for this, it’s hard for me to take the first step since it always feels like I’m the problem. I want someone to tell me, to feed me the information and knowledge I need. I want it to feel like I’m not alien for putting more effort and trying harder to become happy. It’s a part I truly hate the most about myself, that I have to do so much, think so much, just to survive. But hearing it come from someone else makes me feel better. I think it’s also the same concept as to why I think some food tastes better when others make it for me or buy it for me, instead of me cooking for myself.

[@fernandoemh]

@@Lynnroseeee a lot of that could have to do with some underlying psychological issue, maybe dysthymia, maybe social anxiety born from the way your parents raised you, among many other possibilities. It's always best to ask a licensed therapist that can generally outline our potential problems, then go to a specialist and have a few sessions to discern what's truly behind everything. To anyone reading this and feeling alone, desperate, sad: don't despair, there are many hands willing to take yours and show you a different perspective. It's up to you to notice them around you, grab them, and see where they take you and what you can learn from them. One hand can be your mom, a friend, a teacher, anyone. Open your eyes and look around you. Ask for help. But if you, who are reading this right now, ever feel like you can't contact anybody, if you feel lost, lonely, and there's no one to call, I have a lot of free time to at least listen to you. I am not a psychologist. I am nobody special at all. Just a normal person like you. So don't expect much. You can find me on any social media as fernandoemh (I don't check LinkedIn tho).

[@brianmiles698]

It looks like you have 90k followers who probably care about you very much. I’m 46 years old and I have lived exactly like you are now. I deal with chronic depression and every day is a struggle. What has helped me is acceptance that it’s ok to feel withdrawn from social situations. It’s hard but still go and try it. If it becomes overwhelming then accept that it’s okay and leave politely. Never feel bad about trying and failing. It’s how you will grow from the effort. Try to not burden yourself too much about your future. I promise you your life will get better. My son is 17 and this stuff is passed down through generations. I see him struggling with the very same things that I have battled. He talks with me and he’s just like us. Concerned about his future and doesn’t have a lot of friends but he keeps trying and he’s growing. Life is like a tree growing in a field. When it’s small it doesn’t feel like it will ever grow to be big. It wants the comfort of knowing that it will grow and bear good fruits. It takes a lifetime to reach the things you ponder. Just keep trying and sowing good seeds in life and I’ll tell you again it’s going to be ok. Maybe you’ll find my son on VR Chat and have some fun together. Cause when I look at him and listen to your story I see 2 soon to be adults that just truly deserve to be happy and loved.

[@Ganondork9]

When I was 8 years old I was in a car crash with my family and my 2 sisters ended up dying. After that I couldn't comprehend living past their lives which was 16 and 18 so I know how you feel in that sense. People make plans for the future and life but nobody can ever predict everything that happens in between whether they be good or bad, that's what keeps me going and keeps me excited for what life has in stored.

[@ShiinaHiyori]

Good advice but adulthood life is so scary bro. I'm really scared I'll become a really bad person someday

[@tomaccino]

@@ShiinaHiyori You only fear the unknown which is a normal feeling. Once you have more experiences, the fear goes away. At 17 I dropped out of high school. I was a broken man and couldn't talk with people. Then I changed my name, moved to another country, and started socializing again. Best thing I've ever did! It cured me. Now I fearlessly face life's difficulties with courage. I wish everyone to know that it's not all doom and gloom in life. It's not just that it gets better, but as you grow older you get tougher! I feared my first hospitality job but after two years I was doing 16 hour shifts! like a boss 😂 Now everything is easy.

[@ShiinaHiyori]

@@tomaccino That sounds wonderful, I don't really know if I can make it happen

[@jaewok5G]

​@@ShiinaHiyori [i know, me again] bad people don't think about if they're bad, that's how you know you're not bad, because you have doubts. now you don't have to worry about that anymore.

[@MrKenjiYo]

To have a pre-planned purpose is to be trapped. To have no purpose means the freedom to have any purpose. We are each born with the ability to build our own purpose, and the freedom to explore and build it in any way we want. Being lost may also be a blessing, as it allows us to go on paths we may not have known of and gain life changing experiences. It's going to be scary to explore new things, but do not be afraid of failure and "lost time." You may not necessarily find what feels right immediately, but each bump always brings experience, and a reaffirmation of your courage for going through with it. Stay strong.

[@Iamrooq]

You deserve a hug. It’s okay. You’re not alone

[@浪人-v2l]

Anyone who feels the same way as this or is just feeling down, I believe in you. I’m proud of you for making it this far and I know you can get through this. You all deserve happiness and can achieve it. You are here because you’re supposed to be

[@davidg1612]

I see a beautiful, intelligent, well-spoken, good person that needs a support system to let her know she is not alone becuase a lot of us feel the same way. You are valued and loved here and I'm sure that is the case for people you have around in real life. I hope you read this someday and smile because you deserve that knowledge and so much more. I wish I could meet you and tell you all this person because you really need to hear some positive words in person, not just to read it on a page.

[@kenny995]

I'm 28, I was planning on dying in the military or just taking my own life in my 20s, but in still here and it feels weird. You vocalized something that many people experience but are afraid to say out loud. There is nothing wrong with you, your feelings, your personality, you desires, it's all normal and it's okay. It a sucky feeling, but a valid one. Its okay to be a late bloomer, to live a calm simple life, to not know who you are, and so on. One thing thats helped me is understanding that you don't need to to big things to feel full, small thing are equally as impactful and far more important in our daily lives. For example, this video that you made started an important discussion for people who feel the same and thats a wonderful thing to have done ❤ Life is hard, it sucks, but as you grow, you adapt and it does get easier little by little, it just takes time.

[@Bloddheart]

maybe one day it has a end and then it's over

[@Netukom]

Guys, if you come here just to leave a touch-starved comment in this poor girl's box... please don't, it makes you look bad.

[@CrustyMajesty]

Seriously. People like that make me hate living more.

[@llx_o.o_x]

It makes my job harder too ~YourAverageGamer (moderator)

[@Netukom]

@llx_o.o_x It got so bad that she had to hire people to clean this nuclear waste of a comment section? Hell...

[@bessabessa3795]

​​@@llx_o.o_x I'm so sorry for theses garbage humans.

[@bean6725]

@@Netukom people who do that neeeeed to touch grass instead of people they see online. It’s absolutely disgusting behavior and I feel so bad that this poor girl has to see comments like that.

[@MarleyMeow]

You are way stronger than most people because you’ve had to deal with this mental pain your entire life. I know how hard it is. Don’t forget that you are allowed to be upset. Don’t listen to the people who are telling you to suck it up because that’s not how healing works. There is help out there and you have potential. Your life will feel extra good later because you are all-too-familiar with the bad now. I know you will make happiness in your life because I refuse to let your precious existence have a sad beginning, middle, *and* end. I send you all of my love, hope, and joy from the bottom of my heart. I really, really do.

[@AndroidHarris]

Literally same. I wish I had friends so bad.

[@FireyPhoenix1314]

Sorry for randomly asking but are there any games you play?

[@AndroidHarris]

@@FireyPhoenix1314 yeah online or singeplayer?

[@FireyPhoenix1314]

@@AndroidHarris either one, I like to play both. Mostly on PlayStation and you?

[@AndroidHarris]

@FireyPhoenix1314 I have a Playstation and switch is usually where I play games. I play a lot more single player but i also do some online. Online I have splatoon, fortnite, and smite. Single player I've been playing last of us and smt Vengeance recently. My favorite games include undertale, hollow knight, earthbound, ace attorney, kirby, and persona.

[@chiefhamburger]

I love persona and earthbbound :3​@@AndroidHarris

[@Zenos-fz4uj]

You know the weird thing about no exact goal is that it can be viewed as a scary thing, but it also comes with a perk that you can choose what to do with your time. Do a bunch of random hobbies go on little “side quests” it’s a lot of experimenting, but it can be worth it. Took me a while to view it that way, but I hope it helps.

[@Neko20231]

Really people living in a "first world" country create problems themselves just because they are bored

[@sillybillylylyll]

@@Neko20231 this is a strange mindset to have. does everyone have to struggle the same way?

[@user-or4ut2qi3q]

SAME ITO, SAME! I think we all feel this way sometimes. God bless you

[@noobkin6995]

I used to feel exactly like how you feel, back when I was your age. Now 5 to 10 years later, I see a path forward. I have sort of come to accept being alone, more alone than other people. I think close family is enough. No friends. I'm putting myself out there now, second time in college after leaving once, doing things that I wanted to do in the past. Cosplay club. Still, I realized, it is difficult, still difficult to make friends. It hasn't been working out so far. I don't know how this will turn out, I have doubts I will make any friends, but I just enjoy life for what it is, enjoy what I have for now. I've sort of come to peace with it now, compared to the hollow, hole feeling in your chest, sadness and despair of the past (I wrote this before i saw the part of the video where you described this, surprisingly).I guess thinking about the finite time of life, and focusing on the things that bring me joy, might have brought me some peace.

[@Nexenholic]

I'm glad this popped up on my feed. My hope is that your current family/living situation allows you the freedom/opportunity to take things slow. There's no rush, Ito! There are people older than you, some far older, that still aren't quite sure about things. Please keep giving it your best, but I really hope that you're allowed the time to continue soul-searching. Wishing you the best~! 0w0

[@jHS1226]

it’s upsetting but comforting seeing someone else feel this way, please take the time out of your day to appreciate every breath you take. you never know when life can end, i know it hurts to go on but things WILL get better, they might get worse before they get better but they’ll get better

[@smugie420]

I am in the same boat as you. I am 24 about to be 25 and I feel like my real life ended when I turned 18 and everything afterwards isnt real. I never imagined myself as an adult and I still dont feel like one now. I feel like this is something everyone feels after becoming an adult. We are entering an unfamiliar and lonlier world than what we were used to. Its just something we have to accept and move on from, but its hard to let go of what was.

[@strawberrysukiii]

you aren't alone. im 15 rn and i feel the exact same way. i dont know where i wanna go or do and its definitely eating away at me. but if i dont survive ill never find out and nor will you. so find you way and your place on this earth. you've got this ❤

[@griseo7748]

I’m 31 and have no idea what I’m doing with my life either. I work a job I don’t care for and just spend my days enjoying what I enjoy. You don’t need to have a plan. You’re really young, just do whatever you enjoy. We’re all here to just live our life to the fullest. It’s okay to feel lost and not have all the answers. Don’t worry about others, everyone’s different. Some people know what they want early on and some people don’t figure it out until they’re 30-40-50 years old. You’re here still and you have all the time in the world to just do what you want and go at your own pace. Keep your head up.

[@jackwilson8700]

Glad the algorithm recommended this. Thanks for being so honest and speaking on the spot, it comes across as very authentic. I will go back to watch all your stuff before leaving a more in-depth comment. For now, Ill leave the most generic, yet true piece of wisdom that kept me going through the rough shit in life; it gets better. I promise. Keep on fighting. I believe in you.

[@MancoNinja]

When you get older you'll notice almost nobody has a plan, most of us are wing in it and thriving on small victories.

[@theabysswalker1633]

I have heard many people talk about their issues, but i have never heard someone mirror my thoughts like that. It felt like noone understood what I'm going through, not even other patients. They are depressed, sure, but noone ever had the problems i have. The same problems ,and the same feelings you shared. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this too, but i can't deny that it feels good to hear that i am not the only person with these struggles. Thank you so much for sharing this, it really brightened my day, even though that is a really strange thing to say considering the topic lol. Let's hope for better days to come

[@alexxarasho1138]

I'm almost 30 an used to feel exactly the same for most of my 18-20s. And I'm incredibly happy right now. Life and our thoughts about it change a lot with time. Give life a chance to show up itself to you Ito, it's worth it.

[@jaewok5G]

it's like doing a jigsaw puzzle without the picture on the box

[@NeddyBiose]

Fun fact, most people don't have a plan in life

[@JJdaclover]

mines was to kms by 13, but i cant do that sow now i have to plan my life till i die im so cooked 😭

[@bobbob-xm4bb]

These kinds of things are important to talk about, thank you for making this video, it helps normalize this subject

[@tenshi-no7902]

true !

[@JeremiahFN-f8x]

God loves you talk to him everyday dont give up you alr been thru it all might as well reach the finish line God bless you Praise Jesus

[@Tastier_Mku]

Your vid kinda just popped into my feed randomly, and although I typically don’t tend to watch these randomly recommended vids, I thought I’d listen to yours. I felt really similar to you. Hell, I’m 20 now and I still haven’t got my shit together the way I would like it to. People around me have jobs, career paths they are 100% certain they’ll want and use throughout the rest of their lives, they are set on the life they wish to live. Me personally? I go to college for a career path that constantly makes me wonder if it’s the one I want. It makes me wonder if I’m even good enough to even attempt trying to go this route in life. It’s exhausting trying to always see whether or not I have the skills to pursue anything in school, let alone in life. I’m 20 yet I’ve felt the same ever since I turned 18, I don’t FEEL like an adult if that makes sense. It feels scary sometimes since I tend to compare myself with others a lot. But I think that’s kinda where my problem always came from, comparison. Sometimes comparing between each other can be very nice. For example, you and I both like anime and games(That’s really cool), you and I like Miku(Your collection is awesome btw), you and I both have an interest in coding( I found your lain teaches you to code video really interesting as Computer Science is what I’m studying for). However, the problem obviously comes when we compare ourselves through means of who’s better than the other. Could I be a better brother like those I’ve seen or been near? For sure. Could I be a better son for my Mother? Most Definitely. Could I write a better comment than the others around mine? Absolutely ( ´_ゝ`). To do that, though, would be a disservice to me and what I personally have done. I could definitely be a better brother, but who’s to say what I do now isn’t already doing more than enough. I could definitely be a better son, but who’s to say I don’t do a lot for my mother(though I can always do more lol). Finally, I could definitely write a better comment, but that would take away the sincerity and genuineness I believe you should deserve out of a comment. I’m sure you do a lot for those around you, just as im sure you mean a lot to those around you. At the end of the day, the only thing I hope you take away from this is that it’s ok to “technically” be behind when compared to others. You go at your own pace, not theirs. As for when it comes to friends, as annoying as it may be, the solution really is to just kinda get out there more. If I could offer any advice, try conventions. 99% of convention goers are either anime lovers, game lovers, or both. On top of that, there really is a lot of “quiet type” people in this world. I also really like the more quiet environments. Loud parties might be nice here and there, but I will always prefer sitting at home with nothing but music and my gacha games. Anyways, hope my comment wasn’t too unreadable or jank. Have a good day, good night, good evening, good lunch, and good whatever. ( ´_ゝ`)

[@heinrichjonny7246]

just know your videos make people that feel the same feel better just to know that there are others who feel pain like this is so crucial to helping each other out in this struggle of this strenuous life.

[@PizzaLabel]

this really breaks my heart. i wish you all the best. stay strong gang.

[@cuddIepup]

its absolutely never too late to find something you want to do in life. you are doing so great just by being alive, and i'm so glad you're not dead. you deserve to have at least a little clarity, you deserve it simply because you are alive. so i sincerely hope you find something, or just play around with a few ideas and see if one is fun or not. i absolutely PROMISE you most people don't have their lives together, so they don't post "vlogs" or content like that. the only people that you see online are mostly made up and a character, and i guarantee their lives are not that perfect. its too hard to live to be perfect, and thats genuinely the most natural thing ever. please just... live! thats all anyone can do from the start. its okay to just exist. you dont need to be any "better", or anything like that. living does hurt. so much. but if it was easy it wouldnt really be living. trust me, only a few days ago i was suicidal too, there are so many people in the same boat. maybe you could go to a convention or talk somewhere with people who are at least a little similar to you? making friends isnt actually that hard, its just a bit complicated. but i can tell you're an amazing and interesting person which is really good for making friends! please dont stress or worry about these things too much and take care of yourself. just try. thats all you have to do.

[@wynziewolf3542]

I'm proud of you for making it through everyday. This year was horrible for me. Lost my old dog Buster in January and got diagnosed with ovarian cancer both in January. Went through all the chemo and hospital stays and pre-surgery preparations, had to miss out on graduating with my peers and felt like shit for a long time. So tired, lost all my hair, had to spend tens of hours sitting in a hospital seat getting poison put into my veins. On top of that I was having a sexuality crisis because I don't know if I'm sexually attracted to my boyfriend of over a year and my dad is having health issues, he's got some lung issues with a chronic cough, he's a long-term alcoholic and he's morbidly obese. I've seen him pass out a couple times from coughing and one time my mum and I had to basically resuscitate him. I also found out I have a rare genetic condition called Swyer's Syndrome, which means that I'm a girl with XY chromosomes and I will never be able to have children of my own or menstruate because I don't have functioning ovaries. I'll have to take hormones to live a normal life as if I was trans, which hurts me, and it's caused me quite an identity crisis. I'm still really struggling with my relationship at the moment as I'm so confused on my feelings and it's putting significant tension on the relationship. I also recently went through a major surgery to remove the cancer alongside both of my ovaries, and I still am in recovery post-op, the first 36 hours post-surgery were a nightmare. I was bedbound, drugged out on ketamine and fentanyl and anaesthetics, couldn't sleep, couldn't move from the pain, staring at a wall for hours and hours, didn't know if I hardly slept, and would see scary shit when I closed my eyes. It felt like hell. There was a time I was laying in hospital and I couldn't reach for my PCA buzzer to give me a dose of fentanyl for pain relief, and realising I also couldn't buzz for the nurses to assist me as I didn't have the remote near me either, I broke down into tears. I felt so helpless and alone in that moment that I spent the next 20 minutes just sobbing. Initially I couldn't even cry post-op because it hurt my stomach muscles to sob, so I just had to internalise it. I feel anger towards the shit I've had to endure, it doesn't feel fair, but at the same time I feel I deserve it, I've always hated myself to some degree. Everyone suffers. There is always going to be dark times that swallow you whole and it's so dark you can't see a way out or anyone else around. But, just know from one soul to another, you aren't ever alone, we all bleed in silence, we weep in silence behind closed doors, we fight to live every day. I'm grateful to be alive, but sometimes I wish the cancer just got to me, but my survival instincts kick in too. You just have to keep going. My medical journey has caused me to lose track of where I'm headed from now, what my purpose is or where I wanna go. I know that in time the pieces will fall into place or I'll at least achieve some sense of purpose or happiness. Life doesn't have to be what others tell you it should be, it doesn't need to be grand, you don't need to achieve massive goals or change the world. Just find peace, just relish the little things, even if that's just a quaint hobby or resting in bed or taking a warm shower or petting a dog or seeing the sunshine. Playing video games or listening to music, talking to someone, getting dressed in cute clothes or enjoying the smell of the rain. Whatever it is, it's value is for you to decide. The only way to know if your story will turn around is to keep following to the next chapter and seeing what plot points unravel. If you finish it now, you don't get the full narrative, you miss out on so much. You are all so brave for just getting out of bed and saying, 'Today I will fight to stay here, and even if I don't get anywhere, at least I'm still here'. I'm proud of you, from the bottom of my heart. Take care.

[@ultradius7]

If you feel like you don't have a purpose in life, it's not bad, because that means you have a blank canvas in front of you, with which you can do whatever you want, it is your life's work and you are the artist. I advise you to pursue knowledge, do physical activity, your body was designed to move, eat healthy, try to sleep well and be compassionate and patient with yourself and those around you, life is about knowing yourself. You were born to shine.

[@rrod3602]

around 2019 I started having extreme panic attacks that sent me to the hospital multiple times. My heart rate would be so high they'd drug me so i calmed down, and if they didn't I had the possibility of dying. I was diagnosed with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and had to deal with my anxiety and panic attacks for a while. Doctors told me I was fine and it was all in my head but I didn't believe them. I was sure that at any moment i could die. I wrote notes to my parents telling them all the things that I thought I wouldn't be able to tell them once I was gone. Eventually over the course of 2 years I worked on myself and on my anxiety and I've been panic attack free ever since with no drugs or other help. I guess my point is that its extremely difficult but you can control your mind. You can stop the panic attacks and the terrible feelings your mind forces you to think. With lots of hard work and time invested you can beat your own problems. Life is worth living and no matter how hard it gets there people that are rooting for you every single second of every single day. whether you want to believe it or not you can do it.

[@firegourd1870]

Sometimes I just feel like a dog in a cage, like a dog who sees the others go out, play, enjoy themselves while he remains locked in that cage. The difference is that a dog wouldn't have the key to get out of there, but I do and I still don't use it. I think I just don't know how to start once I'm out of that cage, the fear that once out of that cage you don't belong, and that's why I think I still can't get out.

[@briangriffin5372]

I’m the exact same way

[@Sabbat322]

As someone who has been struggling with depression and OCD for most of my life I understand how you feel. I consider myself lucky to have found really good professional help, and now I feel better. I think you should try to find a good psychologist, be picky, find the one that makes you feel the most at ease and that you really feel you can trust. You could also try to talk to a psychiatrist, keep in mind however that drugs are not enough without psychotherapy. Outside of that I think you should not worry too much about expectations, take your time to figure stuff out, you're still really young, also try to do what makes you feel good, serene. As for friendships sometimes you need to make the first move, to be the one to start a conversation. Lastly, don't be embarrassed about who you are and what you like, proudly be yourself.

[@SK.-.]

I'm 17 and I really understand your feelings, because I feel the same way. I don't know if I can live up past 18, but from my personal experience the best way to deal with that feelings is to be obsessed with something (just try everything you find it eventually). When I focused on doing stuff or enjoying stuff those feelings are become more quiet. And I should say that you need to go to the therapy, but I don't know if it would work or not because I didn't go to it myself.

[@kyranex]

Not feeling understood at that age is hard.. I always thought i would be dead before i reach 20. and im 32 now and have a wife and kids.. i'm glad i never gave up. Hang in there. Life isn't easy the sooner we learn that the better it will be later on. Stay away from people that don't give you the same attention you give them. REMEMBER: As a giver you need to have limits, because the takers don't have any they just take take take until there is nothing more to give and they move on to the next person. Take care of yourself and those who actually compliment your life. Also AGE doens't say anything about being an adult, it's your mind that does. There are so many people who are not open minded at age 50 - 60.. They never grew out of puberty they are children in grown up bodies. Those who self-reflect get wiser, those who don't only get older and bitter.

[@alejandrovillanuevasanchez743]

Se me interrumpe el internet por la.estatica de la planta sslgo alas 12 am y al rato me conecto y hablsmos tranquilos y me explicas con detalle ❤❤ ALEX

[@KaiserRyo-g5y]

For all who are young and struggling to figure out what you're doing and what your purpose is, know that plenty of people have been in your shoes before you, even myself. Some even had to start over when they were over 25 or even in their 30's.The point being, that finding your "purpose" and happiness in the world is something that requires you to go out and find. I think one of the biggest issues nowadays is everyone is inactive and chronically online for the most part. Nobody can bring you purpose or happiness in life like an amazon package. It's something you need to create on your own and develop. Don't be afraid of turning old someday, but rather be afraid that you wake up one day and tell yourself that you wish you'd have at least tried to do the thing you wanted years ago. Granted, it's not too late, but the earlier the better. All just to say, live your life without fear and instead with the action to do what you want. I'm still looking for my own happiness in life, but I know I need to take action to do so.

[@lynxarcade2020]

Very well said

[@kunishiratakeru5691]

for me, ever since I was 13, I only saw myself live for 18 years old and eventually ending oneself, I wasn't depressed at that time, to me it just felt really lonely, stuck in my room, nothing with me except my laptop, life just seemed, empty. Now, I'm 17 years old and well, while I'm still pondering about it, I've grown to be more social, and talk to acquaintances but the loneliness never left. It still drowns me with sadness, to be around with people and talk to them, but still feel the cold breeze.

[@mikuios]

I'm 31 now and what can I tell you is life is one chaotic entanglement of events, thoughts and circumstances. 80% of plans you set for yourself mostly never come to fruition, cuz there's always some unforeseen variable that suddenly changes and all the planning goes to shit. Learning how to adapt on the whim goes the longest of ways in my experience. Never give up, but sometimes let go of the non-optimal routes. And have fun living, there's so much to do that's fun.

[@Crazyguy_123MC]

Its ok to feel lost. Sometimes I feel the same. You just have to go through it day by day. Just because you don't know your purpose in the world yet doesn't mean you won't. You will find a future. I think this channel is good for you to vent your feelings and its probably good for others who relate. I think it helps to join communities of people who enjoy the things you do. Games, media, just something you find cool. Join a group and talk with the people there. I've met some incredible people online who I can relate to and enjoy spending time with. I think you can do the same. I was the same when I was a teen and then I met some awesome people who introduced me to others. You were meant to live past 17 because you are still here. Just keep going because there will be light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to get to the other side.

[@faikae]

*virtually hugs you* :(

[@hankjwembleton]

What :(

[@Shady272]

I'm 40 and feel like it's not my world anymore, I feel you

[@ShiinaHiyori]

Bro I'm 19 and I feel exactly the same like you

[@Cjspectre7782]

Truth is life is mostly chance>plans. I've done everything by the book as far as school, and trying to get a stable career. Things happen but as for feeling lost, it can happen to anyone at any age. You're not alone in those feelings. It took me some time to understand that my only purpose in life is to be a decent person and everything either falls into place or doesn't. Wishing you all the best

[@pingcrimson6854]

I exist in a way where each day doesn't really feel attached if that makes sense. I'm still progressing through milestones somewhat, but anytime i wake up, a part of me is still expecting my life to be cut short eventually. I think i can understand where you're coming from, and i don't have any words of wisdom since i'm finding my own answer in this situation, just hope you know you aren't alone through this

[@sergie2822]

When I 13, I thought the same, that I would not live past 17... now I'm 44... Joke's on me.

[@FlRE_1]

yup adulthood is scary as fuck

[@ThiccyEN]

I was once in the same boat as Ito. When I was 17 and in high school, I had that feeling of "love" towards someone and pursued them. All to just find out that they knew from the beginning that I liked them, and they used me and played me to get stuff out of me. Trigger Warning: When I found out about her using me and ended the relationship, I attempted to take my own life. Ever since then till now, I'm 25, I still have a hard time trusting people and a hard time finding a purpose. I too just like you never thought I'd live past a certain age, for me it being 25. I too ask myself if I'll still be around and have thought about many MANY other things. I digress. I relate a lot Ito, and I really hope that you stay around and live to see the good that will come of it. I know you hate hearing it and reading it, but you really do have a lot of ahead of you. I still haven't found my purpose in life yet, but I try to stay optimistic and look at the good that has happened each day. If anyone is reading this, just know that there is always good things that come after the bad. Try to keep your chin up, and have a good day

[@zerofitz]

As someone who has made it past the time when I thought I would be gone, I feel ya. The biggest help for me has been to not compare my life to others, especially when it comes to timeframes. I'm 42 this year and I for the longest didn't think I'd make it past 36. Man....the further I get through your video, you sound just like I used to (and to be honest have thoughts that break through sometimes). It doesn't get easier but it does get better.

[@vDecimate]

i don't know how to explain it other than this but i'm 30 and i've learned to just live with depression. stay busy and mask it. find peace in loneliness. find a positive side of it :)

[@freddiemossberg7204]

I’m almost 50 years old and I’ve felt the way you describe since I was your age. No goals, no ambition no idea what I’m doing or where I’m heading in life. I don’t really have any words of advice. I wish you a better tomorrow ❤

[@AnIdeamostIndegenous]

Im not a person of comfort nor of words. but as a person who is also wandering aimlessly on this blue rock I thought I needed to say something. I'm 18 and... I feel so lost. I feel like I'm just aimlessly wondering. I dont what to do in life. I feel like im doing something wrong. I feel like i have no purpose... Maybe thats why your words resonated with me so much. This feeling of hopelessness that binds me everyday. So with that word... Im going to break the cycle that binds me. Im gonna start working out and start improving myself. Im still afraid of the future, Im still afraid of communicating with other people.. but... Only if the eye is facing the fear can it break the cycle. I dont know if my motivation stays tommorow but... Ill try. Goodluck on you too Ito!! Stay safe!

[@truly-oni3945]

Been there. Not as bad as you, but I been there. Honestly, I was lost as shit most of my adult life too. Nobody our age group fully knows what we want to do, and that's okay, and I think its really crazy our seniors expect us to fully know what we want in life despite being so young. I actually think its a GOOD thing you're asking these questions. Ever since i got out of high school I've been completely lost. One day, I decided to join the Army, my job was going nowhere, I had no money for school, and I was generally a loser all at 21 basic training was really tough for me, but it made me have a new lease on life. I have a promising career, I'm the healthiest and strongest I've ever been, making more money than ever, and I have so many ways to progress in my life. I ate a lot of food, made a lot of friends, shot some guns, and left basic with a plan for my life, one that I wanted to do. I'd say for gen z I'm doing great compared to my peers. HOWEVER, it took me a lot of hard work AND soul searching to be where I am. It's so frustrating that older people try to rush younger people like us into having EVERYTHING planned out. However I will say this, the fact you are asking these questions means you are likely willing to put in the hard work, I know this because I had similar thoughts for years. Just, think long and hard, think of a dream job. Then, everyday, take small steps towards what you want to accomplish. I want to Join the US special forces as it was a childhood dream, this is an incredibly daunting task and I'm so far from the standard of what's required, but I'm significantly closer than I was before. I think you can find what you want in life too. You got this.

[@mikedelgrande5296]

I once stumbled across this quote when I was feeling lost and oddly enough, it gave me a different perspective on life. I think it’s referring to substance abuse, but it’s still a powerful message in any situation. “If you could possibly understand how precious and powerful your experience of this one lifetime as yourself is, you wouldn’t be trying to go anywhere else. If you could know the perfection of time and space, you would slow each moment down, to drain every possible nuance of juice and flavor from it. When you leave this place, your body and mind and the earth which holds you, you will look back and only wish you had known the immense richness that you hurried through trying to find other better states of being. But this is best bite. Heaven is here. Nirvana is now. As soon as you know that for sure, your life will never be the same again. In fact, in every way it seeks to get your attention. Begs you to awaken to the magic right before your eyes.” - Jacob Nordby

[@TheSpongyMallard]

I didn’t even really know who I really was until my late 20s. I’ve never had many friends at a time, but I have always had 1 good friend. As a huge introvert who’s dealt with social anxiety, making friends is freaking hard, but you can do it. Just find one friend, and hold onto them. We’re all figuring out life. No one really knows how to actually do life, you just gotta live it. As a teen I thought my life would be so different as an adult, but it was nothing like I thought it was going to be. The one bit of advice that has helped me, is to look beyond myself. Don’t blame yourself, focus on something else. Look to the next day. It may sound silly, but try listening to Guts’ theme. It helped me in a dark moment in my life. My mom had passed and I had never felt so empty before. I didn’t want to feel alone. I needed someone with me. Guts’ theme and reading the comments helped me a lot. I realized people who I would never meat were going through the same thing. It helped me come to understand what I was feeling and move past it and my own self. I hope you feel better. I’ll be praying for you.

[@ta_wa031]

this is too real. im so sorry bro, take breaks if you need it, i dont even watch your channel, you js popped up on my fyp. but this is just too true, and im only 13. i dont know what to do either, people are constantly pushing me to do something “meaningful,” or something thats makes me money in the future. but theres too many options. ive stuggled with depression, and thoughts of suicide. im sorry, for whatever you are going through.

[@nhfjnm2v]

i feel this way too. im 16 and i never imagined arriving to now. i always thought that I'd die before now, even thinking of offing myself before this age. i have no idea what im doing and why im still here. when i was a kid i was never able to imagine myself growing up so much. i dont wanna grow up either, im not ready.

[@nhfjnm2v]

I don't have many friends and don't go out a lot either. the thing is, I don't even wanna make friends. like yeah I wish I had a bf but it's because I wanna know how it feels like to love and be loved the way I love. but I don't wanna make friends, I don't like talking to people, I like being alone

[@alfredoavalos714]

Ever since quarantine happened 4 years ago, I never had friends to begin with because most of them would either go to a different high school, move to a different city or state, or I would straight up ignore them since I have gotten used to being alone and never wanted any interaction with anyone unless I'm cool with them. For the past 2 years, I've noticed that everywhere I go when I'm with a class at the time, I would always keep myself a few feet away as to stay away from people, and there are times when someone would want to talk to me while I want the time for myself, I would either be annoyed, or talk to then depending on the person. Ever since then, I never wanted any interaction with strangers and would only have conversations with my siblings, but even then, I would barely do anything since I always stay alone inside my house because my older sister works during the morning through afternoon, and my younger brother goes to school, while I'm staying home chilling. As an 18 year old, at least I could stay alone and have the freedom I want until I get myself a job or going to college. I hope you the best of luck in the future.

[@nhfjnm2v]

@@alfredoavalos714 i Hope you the best too.

[@Ezra-co9ht]

Do you sometimes feel unsure of yourself? I personally been through something like that especially when I was 17. It's natural, even despite the times we live in. But I fully understand how you truly feel and I respect that. If there's something that you wish for something that you want to change in your life, just breathe, pray for yourself, and think, so you can keep working on yourself. Even when things are challenging and are getting worst, don't give up. Keep going. Stay strong and stay true to yourself and be yourself so you can truly be happy. It's also good to let things out with yourself so you don't keep bottled up. There's a saying that I created and I tweet the other day, "Life is short if someone is stress to depress. Life is long if someone is stress-free to vitality, prosperity, & true happiness." However, I personally don't know you well, because I happened to find this video out of nowhere and I started to listen to you of what you have to say even though this has past two weeks ironically for me, even late at this time almost 2 AM. Lol. But the point of all of this is just find a way for yourself and don't give up. Life finds a way. Your life can find a way. You can, but it's your choice not mine. I hope this is encouraging for you keep moving forward in life.

[@soyaaa1113]

i hope you are still living.

[@aydantesillo9520]

Sometimes you’re not gonna know what to do in the moment and you’ll look back years later being” oh, I should’ve done this. I should’ve done that.” That’s what it means to live. forge your own way, unpredictability is part of life, and to an extent you should embrace it. The best u can do is focus on yourself, don’t compare yourself to others too much (I completely understand, It’s a lot easier said than done )in my experience that isn’t healthy. It may seen that people have things planned out when in reality they can be just as lost and just living in the moment. I’m sorry you feel this way, I wish I could give u a hug. this is my first time seeing this channel so I hope ur making sure you’re taking care of yourself 💚💚

[@scripturalcontexts]

Don't feel too bad. I'm 34 years old and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life either.

[@xenophoscion499]

make kids buy house pay mortgage

[@Vox_Popul1]

@@xenophoscion499 “buy house” lol, lmao even

[@crossxfuse]

I'm the same age and feel the same way too

[@metaford3746]

​@@xenophoscion499in this economy and work culture ok grampa

[@TheAkrillion]

I started developing depression when I was around 13. It only got worse from there until late last year to early this year. I still occasionally deal with bouts of it and, despite having friends and parents who appreciate me and whom I appreciate, I still feel lonely. I sometimes get very existential and all I can really do to push forward is think about what I WANT to achieve in life. There is no purpose or some higher being that will determine that for me. You never truly know what you want out of life, until you do. You just keep doing the things you love, with the people you cherish, and it just suddenly hits you. There's no real way of determining your own purpose. It just happens like a snap. Life is worth living and when you know what you want to do with it, then you really just get the feeling of you WANT to live, rather than that you have to do it or something. I'm kinda bad at communicating my thoughts, so hopefully my rambling makes sense haha

[@uzumakinaruto07]

I felt the exact same when I turned 18. You aren't alone cause I have no idea what I'm supposed to do in my life. I also have a very hard time with making friends and wish I had more. I don't go out much either.

[@umaagarwal219]

Having an identity crises is one difficult thing to live through, i understand that. But the fact that you were able to push through all of these negative thought and problems proves that you are one courageous and strong soul and you should indeed be proud of that. And about whst your purpose in life might be all depends on you, your life goals and purposes come out as you learn new things about the world and there might be some things hidden in there that you might like and you build more upon those hobbies inorder to find a purpose (Although you'll have to make sure that those hobbies don't have any negative effect on yourselves, like someone said you learn from other people's mistakes) By the way, i have to say it and I hope you don't catch this the wrong way. You're the most beautiful girl I've seen in my entire life (Like the mythological level of beautiful) and all of these points prove the fact that you're indeed under the divine protection of nature! ❤😊

[@mafumofu986]

I'm 23, and the years since high school have been a complete blur. Nothing happened. Nothing achieved. Nothing learnt. Nothing to show for it. I might as well have been in prison.

[@TheMarsChannel]

Being 17 is a time when the world feels both vast and overwhelming. If you truly feel lost, that’s okay-even if it seems like no one understands. Everyone faces their own darkness sometimes, and while it might feel endless, it isn’t. Sometimes depression isn’t just a state of mind but a way of protecting yourself, of hiding from something that feels too heavy. And that’s okay too. Acknowledging it is the first step. But remember, every emotion, even the darkest one, has a reason. Sometimes it helps just to talk. Without fear of judgment. It doesn’t have to be with friends or family-it could be with someone outside your circle who can listen without bias. A therapist isn’t for “broken” people; they’re there to help you understand yourself. If you feel like you just want to seem depressed, that’s also a signal. Wanting to be seen and heard is a basic need. Ask yourself: “Who do I want to notice me? What do I want them to understand?” You are valuable. Without conditions. Even if someone around you disagrees or you don’t believe it yourself. To someone, you already matter-you just might not see it yet. Here’s something you could try: each evening, write down one small thing you’re grateful for (e.g., “I heard a song that moved me today,” “The sky looked beautiful”). These little things can be anchors. And if you ever want to talk, you can reach out-here or to someone you trust. You’re not alone!

[@Idk._.anymorrr]

I just turned 18. I dont have a big plan i want to achieve, i just know i want to change the life i have now. I don't have friends. Im not close enough to my family to trust them. And i have nothing i really want in life, nothing to me is worth the effort. The only thing that seems actually worthy of spending my time is experiencing life-Traveling the world and whatnot. I also missed out a lot on life so far. I guess i just want to be someone i could look up to. And hopefully, one day, enjoy life. The only thing i know for sure is, nothing will change if you stay still in life. Staying in the exact same place will only make life harder. At a certain point, waiting to decay or leaving everything will be the only options. Thats whats happening to me at least.

[@DijjinCXV]

holy damn we all got this recommended at the same time

[@TabathaTMartin]

Yeah......i think we all can relate to this tbh. i still don't know what the hell i'm doing with my life

[@RogelioRodriguez-o7c]

First time here, KZbin recommended me this video. This makes me sad to think about cause I do not have friends as well. Many of them moved on and got in relationships and stopped talking. I see more and more of these videos on KZbin. I guess many of us are lonely and feel like there is no one there. I work a lot and that helps me tbh but low-key I am hurting. Every day is a struggle, but I take it one day at a time and try my hardest. Not sure what each day will bring but I know that God is with me and I am never truly alone just don't have many people to hangout or talk too. Video games are slowly not doing it anymore. They don't make me as happy as they used too. I just try to keep myself busy as much as possible so I don't think, cause then the sad thoughts come out. I hope you feel better and try to find a community of people as I think having atleast some friends is very beneficial for your mental health.

[@jimmyju76]

you're still here because you belong here. what the people in the comments say is true(for once). we all been through this and some are still going through this, I'm 47 and still feel this way. you are not alone

[@SuigaRou]

As someone who went through similar feelings when I was in my teens, I won't say the usual "it will get better", but I will say "you will change". I always had an empty feeling, I thought about how maybe things would be better if I wasn't around and how meaningless it all was, and I had moments of joy but moments of depression too. But as I grew older, I came upon a few realizations. 1: My obsession with death was a waste of time. It's going to happen on it's own eventually, so why rush towards it? I'm alive, and if I'm going to leave this world, it's going to have to kick me out. 2: Any bad experiences I go through are usually still experiences worth having. Often character is cultivated through suffering, and it's not like it didn't still hurt, but I had to learn to get comfortable with being uncomfortable sometimes. I learned the importance of being able to take a loss, or a rejection, and try to use it to make myself better instead of worse. 3: I stopped comparing myself to others all the time. We're all born with completely different cards to play, it's not fair to beat myself up for not having the same life as other people. Especially when most people are also hiding their pain and failures. The things you see online are only people filtering the best parts of their lives, and that's an impossible standard to live up to. Believe me, behind the masks we wear, most of us also feel like we don't know what we're doing. In the end, I think life is about taking steps forward AND backwards. Sometimes it feels like you're not getting anywhere. You question and doubt yourself, and it looks like everyone else is moving forward seamlessly, but trust me, 2 steps forward and 1 step backwards is normal, and eventually you reach a point where you've changed. The same way you aren't who you were when you were 10, you'll be someone new at 20, and someone new at 30. That's the beauty of growth, which is why it's so sad when young people talk about not living past a certain age. You're robbing yourself of seeing who you might become. But for now, know that there are other introverts out there who feel the way you do, and who share your interests. The thing about introverted people is that their very nature makes it hard for them to connect with each other. If you want things to change, you might have to go out of your comfort zone to find people who you can connect with. Anyways, I've rambled too long (sorry, this turned into an essay), but I hope anything I wrote helps somehow. Don't give in to that emptiness, you'll be ok 👍.

[@evankuo1310]

When i was around 9 I told myself that I'd probably never make it to my teens. I just never was able to picture myself as a teen. I've just turned 18 about a month ago. I think what helped me through this is finding a really deep hobby that drags out your lifespan. Living is hard, finding your purpose is hard because you have to look everywhere. So right now you could make your purpose to find somewhere you belong. Have a good day.

[@BENHUR.]

I'm 18 and I have spent so much time in the internet since I was 11. My plan was to live alone all my life, but after being truly alone for some months I just couldn't take it and started changing my mindset. I guess having a plan is not better than not having one.

[@flyingiguana409]

i just want to give you a hug and tell you you're a great person

[@Mr.Skeleton-El]

I see everyone got this randomly recommended in the same. KZbin has brought us together to support this person. Be nice everyone

[@romandaniels2415]

As someone who’s stared down a bridge one too many times in his life, just know that things will always get better once those heavy feelings have passed. I don’t know if I have room to talk. If judging by the title I can assume you’re 17, that makes me just a year older than you. Hell, I was thinking the exact same thing a year ago. Don’t take your own life. It is not worth it, even if right now you feel as if it would be better to stay asleep forever. I find this excerpt from another KZbin comment applicable here: the years 18-25 are years where you do not understand what you’re doing, but whatever it is, it is working well enough. Being young is the perfect time to figure things out, even if you don’t understand what it is you want to do yet. Keep going. And if you feel that what you’re doing isn’t good enough, remind yourself: for the people in your life who care about you, it’s good enough for them.

[@snabelarne913]

I hope you feel better soon Ito. I can relate to many of your thoughts and feelings, unfortunately. Just remember your feelings are valid and you deserve to feel happy and comfortable. It feels impossible sometimes to find your place, a spot among people, and it feels lonely and sad. But I believe that there is eventually a time and space for us all, no matter what form it may take. The fact that me and everyone else who can relate to the things you express through your art, videos and other online presence prove that we have found a place with you, and you have a place with us. Sending love and hugs

[@RyanThatGuy07]

I'm 26 and i still have no idea what i'm doing with my life, dropped outta school, been hopping from job to job and not sure what my future holds but in times like these ya gotta stay strong and make the best of each day even if you don't know where it's gonna take you, just because nothing is happening for you now doesn't mean something won't happen further down the line, Stay strong people.

[@Opine-Informer]

“And I understood that if I kept it all up… no one would know me. A dim light far in the distance? No. To love-I had to be there. I had to be there to be loved.” Marie Howe, from Magdalene: Poems; “The Landing”

[@menliker8813]

@FrozenHornsoftheFrigidPlanes Making an entire account just to trash on this girl & everyone who supports her is peak lifeless behavior. I say this with both disgust and concern in mind, but go tf outside.

[@koikun]

@@menliker8813razor pfp havers never miss.

[@faenene]

You’re definitely not alone in this feeling. I’ve always been really afraid of growing up, stuck in a more immature mindset whilst everyone around me is excited to be an adult. I’m just not ready but the clock won’t stop for anyone. “Living really hurts” feels so true. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way. But even if it doesn’t seem like there’s a reason to be, it’s doesn’t mean that sadness doesn’t matter. And it’s not “cringy” or dramatic to voice it. I feel that way a lot too, haha. “:) Even if the original intent of this channel wasn’t to help people, I certainly think that’s what’s doing. It’s providing a place for people to feel less alone and be able to vent. So thank you, let’s all dress up and have a virtual tea party :)

[@nellsonot4900]

Interestingly enough, same. I planned to commit s a day before 18 when I was like 12. Life felt good because “well gotta do what I want to do before I turn that” but now I’m way pass it. Someone I love passed away when he was 17 and told me I should live pass 17 and do his part. So I’m still here now. I’m still confused, still lost, still scared. It’s like I lost an anchor. If things go to shit I gotta live it now. I’m always scared and confused, but you know what? Everyone around me think I got it together. People are jealous of me, they think I’m smart, I’m brave. It’s really ironic. I don’t know what I’m doing even until now. You know, I think we’re a little similar. We’re both scared, we got things we want to do, we don’t know how to do it. I’m proud of you for speaking up. A senior of mine told me, “if you want something, step one is be brave enough to say you want it. Step 2 is find out how and step 3 is get it”. Easier said than done but you’re one third way there. Be careful though. There are bad people online too.

[@absolstoryoffiction6615]

Different views on different paths of life. It's one of the few things that is rather alien to me from Humanity. Well, humans do have it much worst. Especially those who have no real options as Fate is stacked against their very soul. Most humans are not of that. The innocent undone by the wicked have more merit of retribution than all who live and all who was alive. Don't misunderstand... I am Nothingness, and I am Existence... Mankind is not me. (As the one created both the Eternal Abyss and the Most High of All. Give yourself eternity. It will be more useful to those out of time than to someone like me who already lived through all of me upon infinity.) No need to rush the inevitable. Walk in enlightenment, because no one will survive in true Malevolence.

[@dankosoul]

Genuinely do your best to not compare yourself to others, everyone walks a different timeline. I know at times it might feel heavy as fuck, and it sucks, but trust yourself that you are only getting started. No one knows what they are doing either. Everyone just forms their own path, but there is no set path. What we call 'normal' and 'figured out' is the 'normal' that people have set to be in our modern day era. We have modern professionals at a lot of things, but even they don't have the answer to life, they just found the answer for themselves that they might be (or might not and live doing their best) happy/content/soemthing to live for. I don't know how you and I are different, but I also feel like I love a lot, and also everything about this world hurts. There are so many things wrong in life, its run by people in power that no longer(if ever) care about looking out for people/our planet. So live for yourself, find joy in the little things. If there is something you need to work on, do it, step by step before you go onto the next thing. It sucks to be lonely, it sucks to be surrounded by too many people at times too, its always confusing on how we feel sometimes. We don't want to hurt others, but we are constantly getting hurt by them. Thats up to us (you) to protect ourselves , but don't shelter yourself. I am sure you are morally strong, live by those morals, over time they will fight, fend off, and evolve. Always keep looking for what you really want to do, you might not know it now, but one day you might. It might be a small feeling, but when you do get it, chase it, don't feel ashamed or nervous or w.e negative feeling you get from having a dream or goal, just move towards it. Its okay to be lonely right now, its the perfect time to work on yourself. Keep yourself looking for something you enjoy and go after it, it will keep you busy, fill yourself with joy and grow with it. Be as productive as you can to YOUR self, whatever enriches your spirit and brings you that inner peace. I can relate to the hurt in your voice, feel it out, cry it out, get up again and keep pushing another inch forward. Btw your courageous is beautiful for sharing this video with us, I really appreciate it, and I am sure many genuine people out there will connect with it, even if they might not speak up. And no its not a you problem, there is nothing wrong with not being on the same wavelength as people who like big parties or w.e. That is who you are, you have what you like and don't like. Maybe in the future you might feel welcoming to try or maybe it wont, that is fine! (without alcohol :P) There are way too many things out there in the world shared by social media that people's minds are bogged with stuff and people start to question themselves if there is something wrong with them. There is nothing wrong with them! As for people saying' oh it will get better'....and such, I agree with them, but I also agree with you. We don't know your day to day, your struggles (i am new here) We all carry our unsung weight. Like you said, they mean well, and maybe we can try to see it from their perspective. You might not believe you can get to that point of 'it will get better', but that is your current perspective that you might not be able to perceive it and others hope one day you get there. its important that when you do, you don't forget how you felt before when you didn't see that it was possible. Not because you need to, but because one day you might be in a better spot but you could recall and empathize with someone who needs to hear your voice. Look into Ikigai (something like findind a reason to live or finding a purpose). Find things that you like to do, and do them, it will keep you distracted from the heavy thoughts, and focused on those things that bring you little joys day to day. Much love, this recording reminds me of some of my own from some time back lol. Stay strong, I will be following and hopefully follow your path as joy fills your heart with whatever day to day joys you choose to do

[@amberzephyr]

yep i feel that. it's hard to get out of that stagnant cycle. still trying to get a handle on it myself. if i'm going to be honest, there is no greater purpose in life. those with their lives together had the privilege to choose and pursue their purpose or they had it handed to them by society. but it doesn't mean that it'll be fulfilling. in that way, we have the freedom of knowing this and the freedom to choose what we do with our lives to be more fulfilled. like some commenters said, it can be the little things, because that's what you actually live. life is not a goal like a career. for me, messing around on my guitar even though i hardly know how to play brings me more peace and joy than most of the activities i do out of habit and out of the expectation that it should be something i enjoy. "comparison is the thief of joy". we notice that we're lacking things we desire and see it in others, so we compare. i've experienced a lot of envy and negativity from this, but it's not helpful to you at all. if i had to use an analogy, it's like picking up a new game but realizing how much more skilled everyone is. you might feel the pressure to improve, get stressed from feeling behind, and not have fun. i think it helps to come to terms with the fact that you and everyone else do not have the same circumstances or struggles. so it's ok to be in a different place in life, or to be going different places. or if you're really set on going a specific direction, allow yourself the time and compassion. it'll allow you to enjoy the "game" of life more. these are the "little steps" you take. i guess i'll talk about more practical skills: know yourself, and advocate for yourself. why? life is actually hard. no one will ever understand 100% the specific struggles you go through. and no one will give you all the help you need. there are resources and people that can help you, but you need to first find them. and past that, it's up to you on how you utilize those things. establish a baseline level first. you need to understand that certain circumstances can make things much harder, so you need to address those first before you even start on anything. it's tempting but unfruitful (i've done it many times) to not address these things first and to put our efforts elsewhere. like if you have adhd and debilitating depression and you're not on meds or in therapy? it won't just be an uphill battle. you're climbing mt. everest. you gotta know yourself too for this. we can meander for a long time, but the crux of it is this... if you want change, you need to know what's stopping you from changing whatever. and then address that. nothing else matters. if it sounds like too much, then you might've skipped a few steps. like, in my opinion, for many people, the first step is to just establish that baseline i mentioned.

[@retiefgregorovich810]

When I was a teenager, I didn't want to live past 25 because that was old. When I was 25, I didn't want to live past 40 because that was old. When I was 40 I didn't want to live past 60 because that was old. You know, I'm almost 65 and 80 seems old. Trust me, there is a lot of life ahead of you, try your best to enjoy every day of it.

[@Omegaman87272]

im 23 turning 24 this year and I dont really have a plan. But worrying about the future is only going to make things worse so Im just living day by day you cant plan for things when you dont know what will happen. As I go on I find new things that I enjoy and make me happy and I hope that you find something that brings you joy.

[@Omegaman87272]

I wish the best for you and that you find friends you can hold dear. If anyone wants to be friends Im always looking for more.

[@azarsraproductions7824]

@@Omegaman87272 I just want to say, I didn't watch the video yet. You should most definitely try and have a plan. You are more likely to succeed when you plan your career. Of course, this isn't always the case, but it does increase your chance. And I don't mean just randomly invisioning yourself being successful, I mean planning out each step of how you get to being successful. Edit: even if you don't know what to do. You should at least try to have a plan at least once.

[@GameslordXY]

And you can plan as if everything is fine and hope for the best.

[@edlim3287]

Well you are alive now, and thats awesome. Life is a miracle, it is precious, finding and knowing your purpose is sometimes a journey and not an end in itself. Don't worry too much 😊😊😊 life is like a journey on a train, friends are like people who enter the train and get off at some point, don't worry too much and alcohol is overated anyway. I know having a void in your life can be quite saddening, but may be find something to do to take your mind off it. You are right that it is a cycle, and that it can be broken out off. You can do it!!

[@yamahayuurei]

1:52 i feel that way too ito, feeling lost makes you kinda hopeless, a year ago i was at hight school, i had the constant thought that i should just "be not alive" by the end of 2023, but i'm still here somehow it's weird, but i guess we deserve to live even though there's those harsh moments in life, i would love to have a real reason, like a purpose, but i don't know if that's really needed... just like, stay alive take care ito