I Went On A "Date Night" With My Wife's Friend Whilst Wife Was Out Of Town r/Relationships

[@MarkNarrations]

Happy Friday all! We made it, wishing you a wonderful weekend ahead of you

[@sofiajaramillo6098]

Hi mark I love your stories ❤

[@MarkNarrations]

@@sofiajaramillo6098 Aww you're too kind :)

[@dwilcox7706]

Good morning, Mark. There was a snafu with my phone payment this week and I was without phone service for 5! whole days. Missing your stories was the worst part. Thanks for keeping me company like you do. ❤️ keep 🧇ing on.

[@Diet_Mini]

Mark, everytime my loud crazy neighbors do something I always think, Mark would probably love to hear about it. Unfortunately they listen to me when I ask them to knock things off so there's no spicy updates to the madness! :(

[@juanhaines7295]

Have a good weekend yourself.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1: Amanda is a *"social influencer."* She knew exactly what she was doing. I don't think she's after OP necessarily... Just clout.

[@immapotato1]

yep. the problem started once she posted and there's no way in hell she doesn't know what this so called "boyfriend reveal" thing is (I don't use insta so I'll have to take OP's word for this existing)

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Yep, that's exactly what I thought. She wanted to get pics at the new "date spot" but didn't want to go alone. The OP was convenient and the friend didn't care if the hurt the wife's feelings... Or she wanted to hurt the wife.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

OP sounds as naive as some yokel who fell off the turnip wagon in the big city. She either did this for clout, making an ex jealous, or trying to "take" someone who's already married as some sort of weird flex of prowess. I would be pissed at my spouse spending $300 on a dinner, let alone all the rest. I generally eschew social media and I certainly wouldn't want to be paraded around online with all of the innuendo that kind of setting implies.

[@SteveMichael]

@@user-wr3vt8uq4s Yeah so lets recap this a bit. This lady who is having a hard time right now and is out of work. She looks up a restaurant, and OBVIOUSLY knows it is expensive. Suggest going there, even though again she is unemployed at the moment and wants this dude to pay for a $300 meal. This dude is an idiot and got used for a "foody" as the women call it. She is saying all these great things because she wanted a $150 meal on his dime. I doubt very seriously she was interested in sleeping with him and will say all kinds of great things about her husband now. Again hoping to get that great meal again someday. This is not a friend at all to the wife, and a disgusting person who uses men to get free expensive meals. Could you have imagined "if" this dude said as soon as they walked in and saw how nice it was if it was okay if they split the bill? I am sure she would have said something like "Yeah lets go to fast food this is too expensive". Seeing again, that she is OUT OF WORK!!

[@lynnw7155]

I agree that each step he took was reasonable but added together...yeah, Amanda is stirring the pot for her social media. Amanda was the only one who did anything wrong. Obviously he should have gotten Amanda a Happy Meal at the drive-through.

[@Wander85942]

$300 dollar for dinner with a person you’ve barely interacted with. Yeah she knew exactly what she was doing

[@Catherine.Dorian.]

Yeah and five freaking courses? He’s an idiot. Taking a spouses friend out to eat in something like this is basically fast food, not a $300 romantic dinner. I feel like he turned the whole thing around on his wife when he was so inappropriate

[@vanzy01]

Op is a goddamn naive fool and he still thinks he's in the right.

[@StarScream0722]

Depends on how much money he makes. If he is used to dropping 150-200, 300 is pricy but not ridiculous.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@StarScream0722 Wrong.

[@racecarr4732]

@@StarScream0722sure but if his wife considers it to be a lot of money then that gets thrown out the window

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Story 1: sounds like the friend manipulated the situation into looking like an intimate date.

[@ToxicSunrise132]

Oh definitely. I bet her fans loved this new plotline

[@KadeStringer2.0]

Not what happened but you do you.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@KadeStringer2.0 Thanks for the input, Kade.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

He did not resist. He is a cheater.

[@darkcircle899]

@@bjtaylor-j9w How is he a cheater when nothing happened? He took her out to dinner hugged her and took her home it was literally nothing. I don't understand how insecure you have to be to think sitting down and having a meal with someone platonically is cheating.

[@cniknik9863]

Amanda definitely played both of them. Both Op and his wife were so naive and didnt expect it in the moment because they trusted Amanda as a friend. But when they saw the pictires and reaction online, then it broadened the scope and made them see the whole picture.

[@ToxicSunrise132]

Yeah Amanda seems like a pot-stirrer. I bet she picked that restaurant on purpose

[@RisetoStrength]

This is giving the man an out for something men despise having done to them. He had wrong intentions every step of the way, that's why he played dumb.

[@nicolasfrazier170]

You know some people ARE just stupid right? Like at the end of the day we have no actual way of knowing his intentions either way, but it seems to me you are basing your judgement on a generalization alone.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@nicolasfrazier170 He acts dumb until he's in trouble, then all of a sudden his tune changes to knowing everything. There is no generalization, just manipulation.

[@sovereigncrux]

@@RisetoStrength He wasn't in trouble at all. The wife knew where they were and OP continually reported into her. Wife was 100% fine with it. It was her own mother who triggered her the next day, it sounds like, and made the wife suspicious of everything thereafter. The only thing OP did wrong was agreeing to pick wife's friend up from the airport as a kind favor for his wife.

[@rumbidzaitgere]

Story 1: The amount of choices that were made on that dinner that made me go “oh no” 😭

[@ThatgirlL18]

Right? One after the other of complete 🤦🏻‍♀️😬…. I do think Amanda was trying to make her ex jealous. But I know if one of my friends posted on social media insinuating they were dating my husband? I wouldn’t be okay with that at all.

[@tfrtrouble]

I dunno, it's hard to tell without context. That amount would be a really special one-off thing for me (I haven't ever spend that much on a meal), however, a friend of mine's family is rich and I don't think they would consider that amount a big deal. To me the problem isn't the meal (although I bet Amanda picked a fancy place on purpose), it's the way Amanda posted about it on SM afterwards. Amanda is a major AH and I would cut her off for this.

[@ThatgirlL18]

@@tfrtrouble absolutely agree!!! And in 2024, someone with that social media presence knew exactly what she was doing. She claimed she wanted to thank him or show appreciation or whatever she said, but he isn’t even on IG, how she posted about it and went on and on to the wife gave me bad vibes.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

@@ThatgirlL18 Exactly. Why would he even need to ask his wife why it upset her in the update when it was so obvious and everyone told him why it was so bad? What annoys me so much is that the OP acted more like it was an issue with his wife being insecure instead of him just going on a romantic date with her friend.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@tfrtrouble You never have a sit-down dinner with a member of the opposite sex whilst you are in a relationship. You get drive thru and drop them off. 100% of men know every step of the way what he was doing, and so does he.

[@erikahammer4337]

Story 1 Op: NTA Amanda: YTA Amanda is doing what's called husband shopping. She's found the loyal husband she wants, but she knows she can't make him cheat. She orchestrated the entire thing to plant the first seed of doubt in OPs wife's mind. Do not be surprised if there is an update to this story,, where Amanda behind orchestrating chance encounters in order to plant more seeds of doubt. She's playing the long game.

[@RisetoStrength]

OP is TA. Amanda's agency in this is irrelevant. "I know you're not an insecure person." He did something that hurt her, and called her insecure to shift the blame back on to her. "I know you know I would never put myself in an inappropriate situation" But, he quite literally did. He's playing dumb for us when he's a psychiatrist to his wife.

[@GallifreyanOrphan]

@@RisetoStrength Exactly! Her not being an insecure person has no relevance on what he chose to do. They say perception is reality, and for at least thousands of people on the internet and everyone in that restaurant, he and Amanda are a couple and he's cool with that, which I find sketchy. I would not be ok with the world thinking I'm in a relationship with someone who isn't my spouse, and I would absolutely be demanding she remove that photo because I'm assuming they have other people in their life - family and friends - who would see this and come to logical conclusions. Him being held accountable for his inappropriate actions doesn't mean his wife is insecure.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@GallifreyanOrphan Perception absolutely is reality, and we can improve reality by waking up the other commenters. If you've got time, please help a little.

[@vanzy01]

​@@RisetoStrength💯👍🏿

[@huskytail]

@@RisetoStrength his escalating justifications were just making him more and more the A 😁. I passed from just a simpleton to a true AH the second he started talking about how many things in common they have and the heart emoji 🤪. He's way too defensive and he contested to have hidden from his wife stuff that's really sketchy.

[@bankheadandpound]

This is the OP’s way of never having to pick up his wife’s friends from the airport. Well played!

[@ndawn90]

You know, the whole "weaponized incompetence" thing would explain why OP comes across as almost dysfunctionally clueless...

[@RisetoStrength]

@@ndawn90 He's a moron when it comes to her feelings, but a psychiatrist when he's got aggro.

[@Rattleyroy]

Has to be 😂 ain't no way he's this dense

[@fabianbiere5653]

​@@ndawn90maybe on the spectrum?

[@haroldvazquez]

​@@fabianbiere5653highly doubt it

[@destinedtogame]

Story 2. I destroyed 2 relationships doing overnights. Those shifts isolate you

[@SkyEcho751]

The thing is, she likely could avoid destroying this relationship IF she puts in the work, but it sounds like all she does is eat work rest. I'm wondering if they also have to be "accommodating" to her during the weekend, like not being to loud at risk of waking her up? That would definitely add a lot more stress.

[@Frostfern94]

@@SkyEcho751Not wrong to not be loud so someone who works nights can sleep. But I work nights.

[@theundone777]

Yeah, she's kind of being a jerk by refusing to even learn how to do the yard work. I would take yard work over daily household stuff in a heartbeat. He's kind of a jerk for saying that she's doing things without his final approval. I'm pretty sure that the night shift is not their only problem here.

[@kevintheadequateadult]

@@SkyEcho751night shift killed my energy when I did it. When I was working I felt fine, but all I did was eat, sleep, and work. I can’t say I’d recommend it especially if you have responsibilities that need you to be awake in the middle of the day

[@VictorPerez-vu1fo]

Funny thing my spouse did this switch a couple of months ago. While we agreed. She feels comfortable with her schedule. She does miss some child events but is mostly there for the family of course barring the sleep she needs after work. We needed to adapt but now I feel like I'm not doing enough of the house chores while I'm the primary caregiver to our child. So while I don't see anything inherently wrong with the decision, it's as mark mentioned, a couple's decision for something like this to work out.

[@loganjoh1]

Story 1: this seems like OP being oblivious to the situation. He was texting his wife throughout the situation also there is no way Amanda didn’t know what type of restaurant they were going to since she picked it. Also the instagram post is definitely her stirring the pot.

[@RisetoStrength]

Never attribute to ignorance what can be attributed to malice.

[@hello93617]

​@RisetoStrength Some men go through their lives, never having a woman show attraction to them. When a woman starts to pursue them, they honestly don't recognize that it's happening.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@hello93617 You'd have a point if he didn't suddenly become a psychologist when he caught wife aggro. He's playing dumb for us, and flipping the blame on her with mental manipulation.

[@Vayeya1]

​@@RisetoStrengthwhat is aggro?

[@RisetoStrength]

@@Vayeya1 A term used in video gaming for when a computer-controlled character is hostile towards you. The term "wife-aggro" is common. In this case, wife aggro is completely justified.

[@Charleston277]

Story 1: OP is not being honest and acting innocent. He enjoyed the car ride, aggreed and on the fancy restaurant and stated earlier he didnt mind picking her up because he had no plans then later said he was annoying because he had plans. He just got caught and is acting naive. He is the AH. Things were going bad after bad. He could have seen it. Hes an adult so no excuse should be tolerated here. Hes seeking sympathy and people to agree with him. Furthermore, he told his wife they are getting food not a going to a fancy dinner. He keep saying ," but i told her and she agreed " but did you tell her the details so she knew exactly she what she was saying ok to? Hes the AH here. Even my husband agrees.

[@photoflo78]

Story 1: my head kept dropping lower and lower. Wow, seriously? Automatic yta for fancy dinner, then as soon as she started getting flirty and taking pics. Nah, he's just loving the attention. Dumb

[@catandrobbyflores]

I turned into the Von Karma headbang gif listening to this.

[@MGP2210]

Story 01: Op is either lying about some stuff, or he needs to awake asap. That kind of cluelessness is not acceptable.

[@GLoLChibs]

Broo he dun goofed. Amanda knew it was a fancy restaurant when she picked the place. They have pictures on the sites. Amanda knew exactly what she was doing and OP took the bait.

[@Rose_Castle]

But do you always go to the sites? I don't. I will google proximity, then look at reviews, if it looks good then I go there. I rarely go to the website.

[@ladyofavalon80]

Story 1: OP! What do you MEAN by liking the picture with a heart emoji?!! That's not LIKE!!

[@nikkid7838]

Last story… she was/is a giant AH! A friend of mine is a police officer and a single dad. He had (kids are grown now) full custody and had to work nightshifts. Hired a nighttime nanny, came home got kids ready for school, went to bed, and woke up when they came home from school. All I heard from OP was me, me, me..ugh

[@tazhienunurbusinezz1703]

So if this was the dad working night shifts & doing all of this would your reaction of "sounds like me, me, me" be similar? My late husband worked 12 hr overnight shifts as a RN for several years. After his 3 day stretch was over, he got the kids off to school that morning & slept until the kids were done with school. Then they were "his" until the day he had to go back to work. He loved kids though. People in our life thought I was a horrible mother cuz I just let him have all 3 of them during his 4 days off but he actually wanted the kids during that time cuz he didn't get to see them at all during his 3 day stretch so it worked well for us. This society tends to judge mothers WAY more harshly than fathers for no reason. It sounds like she had been doing most of the kid related things for several years already. I see nothing wrong with a mostly working from home dad having to pick up the slack so his wife can have a turn advancing her own career. I maybe get why he doesn't love it since everything about this society has told him his whole life that their kids are somehow her job alone & not his but having a bunch of extra money coming in each month isn't something most US families can reasonably turn down especially when they have kids to put through college. The only thing I agree with him about is that yea, since he is now doing everything that she had been doing, she should pick up all the things he had been doing back when he left her with all the kid responsibilities, such as mowing the lawn. Other than that, I personally have no issues with this.

[@rubymeaddle]

All I heard was a husband angry because he has to parent his kids

[@RisetoStrength]

@@rubymeaddle My stake is only in the first story, but I'm going to give the second a listen now and be back for you if you're a sexist. See you in a bit.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@rubymeaddle You've got an absolute disrespect for men. The change was made without his input and if the roles were reversed, you'd be shaming him for forcing his wife to be a homemaker. Yikes.

[@tatersalad76]

​@@rubymeaddle it's not a matter of having to parent his kids. It's a matter of them agreeing to share the load, OP deciding that she wanted to be "the breadwinner", and make her husband do everything (including working full time) from the chores to raising their kids. And then basically taunting him with the prospect of making it her full-time hours because "I'm making so much money for myself now me me me me.". If you're not raising kids with a partner, you wouldn't know the stress of an uncoordinated long-term schedule change. It's scummy if anyone does it, be they male, female, or non-binary.

[@JoshuaEdward12]

This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@RoyJ.Tillison-tq5ed]

I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counsellor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back.

[@JoshuaEdward12]

Interesting. Who is this counsellor, and how do I meet the person?

[@RoyJ.Tillison-tq5ed]

Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being.

[@JoshuaEdward12]

Thanks a lot. I just did. Impressive.

[@DJ-mf6ft]

Honestly, the wife in story 1 has every right to be a little upset by it but I think the friend blew it way our of proportion, making it even worse. Kinda feels like a setup by the friend. Like, she is trying to either get at OP or cause problems in their marriage and split them up. This isn't a marriage ending scenario but he will have to be more aware of situations like this in the future. I definitely don't believe OP was doing this on purpose but I think his wife should cut off Amanda.

[@ToxicSunrise132]

Eh, I think it's more shallow than that, I think it's entirety about internet clout. Wife blows her top? Amanda can cry to her fans about how her friend is being insecure, toxic and jealous. OP bites the lure? Now she has a spicy romance triangle to sell. Her ex freaks out about how quickly she's "moving on"? She gets to clown on him to her audience and humiliate him while the faceless masses cheer

[@vanzy01]

Amanda has a broken relationship so she got to cause trouble at her friends relationship and Op is too much of a dense to see it.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@vanzy01 He is not dense. He's a manipulator.

[@teddennison344]

I had the inverse happen to me once. In my case, I'm quite certain neither party went into it with any kind of nefarious intentions, which is exactly why they thought it was innocent enough to do. I was still BIG mad, because this is exactly how affairs start, and both of them should have had more respect for my marriage than to ever take even step one in that direction.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@teddennison344 Unless you were your wife's first, odds are she knew what it looked like every step of the way and just didn't care. Forgiveness comes at the price of respect.

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

Amanda is the reason this saying exists: "Single Friends keep you single"

[@whitneylivingston5706]

Story 1) stop and grab her drive through like she asked and then get your own food on your way home.

[@MmMm-yd4rn]

I like how that one comment has to clarify 'figuratively' because op is so dense he may as well have a gravitational pull

[@shadewolfe1231]

Story 2 - If she’s making extra money she can pay someone to mow the yard and/or clean the house while she’s home. It’s BS to dump it all on her husband. Just like it’s BS that men do this all the time/work then come home to game before going to bed and leaving everything to their wives while occasionally mowing the lawn on the weekend.

[@lorrierichard7465]

So should she stop working those extra hours so he wont have an excuse. I wonder who does her chores when shes home. Her making extra money is no excuse for him not doing his part . She needs to cut bait and go fishing elsewhere.

[@KiltBill2]

​@@lorrierichard7465it's about working as a team. She changed things against his agreement to begin with, then lied to him that she'd change it back. If this was a guy ignoring his wife's wishes, would you be supporting his selfishness?

[@iamthebadwolf7296]

That’s I thought lol, I was thinking OP is probably a man trying to prove “well if a woman did this everyone would excuse it”, and it backfired badly.

[@JMac7395]

STORY 1: even if OP was too naive to see what was happening as the evening went on, him writing it on reddit before posting should've given him clarity. Yet, OP doubled down, which means he's willfully being blind to the situation. He doesn't want to to take responsibility for his participation. Also, the wife's mom is correct, that is exactly how affairs begin. Now the wife is going to have to keep a side eye on Amanda & OP. Amanda knew exactly what she was doing. She used her friend's husband to create gossip & a false narrative. Whether Amanda did it for her followers or her ex, it was still inappropriate to use her friend's husband. Amanda is an inconsiderate user, smh

[@darkriku12]

Eh, Reddit is pretty terminally online. If this was a girl they're be siding with her and go going against the friend, since the friend is the actual problem. Most people would be fine with their SOs going to dinner at that time with the context, all just except the romantic place unless if they're pretty well off

[@JMac7395]

@@darkriku12 No, they would not.

[@SaruCharmed]

The only thing weird about that "date" was her asking to get a photo together. That was weird. I'd be like wtf, why? I wonder if them having the same interests was too big of a coincidence...

[@judyjohnson9610]

And it seems she didn't before the picture was taken and didn't ask before posting. That's only good manners to ask

[@khendralibbey617]

It’s pretty Fucking weird to spend $300 to take out your wife’s friend. 🤡🤡

[@SaruCharmed]

@@khendralibbey617 I can't imagine ever spending that much for one dinner, but idk about other people's financial statuses. You could just chalk that up to good hospitality. She chose the place it sounds like. She seems more sus if op's testimony is true, but it's also very possible he's lying.

[@Thehitman1099389]

I like how no one even brought up the mom stirring the pot and getting the daughter all worked up 😐

[@coreymartin6486]

Why do you like nobody bring it up?

[@jeffs7573]

The mother is projecting.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@coreymartin6486 Mothers have incentive to keep their children single, when mothers themselves are single. It's very, very destructive.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Would you just sit around and not say anything if you seen your friend will loan your daughter's husband taking another woman on a romantic date

[@theSexyMilkMan]

If I had a daughter and saw that, I’d be livid too

[@somnus1057]

He said he picked her up from the airport and didn't mind because he didn't have plans. Then he said he didn't want to pick her up because he had plans to get drunk and play Sea of Thieves with his friends.

[@thefilmcritic3409]

Well depending on who you talk to, those aren’t plans bc his friends are most likely online 😂😂

[@michealwatts7469]

I caught that too but I do it all the same... If I am gaming with friends, if I get a call and its my mother or something she needs me for some reason. Her: "I hope you're not busy" Me: "Nah I'm not doing anything important" is my basic response.

[@ProxiProtogen]

Playing sea of thevies while drunk with friends isn't really plans. Like gaming is just a hobby that you can stop and pick back up at anytime. If someone needed me to come pick them up, I'm not gonna say no over a damn video game

[@ajwinberg]

Either the O.P. is super naive or, he is lying. Sounds like a date to me.

[@maurer3d]

Story 1 (before update): NTA, but possibly an idiot. "We didn't realize the place was so fancy", umm she typed in the name of the restaurant, she knew full well that it was a fancy place. Then she posted online about it making it sound like a date and lied and/or exaggerated to your wife about what happened. Either she is trying to seduce you, or breakup your marriage.

[@felix0-014]

That or she is a ditz that wanted a free expensive meal for content

[@RisetoStrength]

What idiot is smart enough to shift the blame onto his spouse by saying "I know you're not secure, and you know I'd never do that. What gives?"

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

@@RisetoStrengthHe said I know you are not insecure, so what is bothering you? She put him in the situation to begin with by having him pick her up. Why couldn’t Amanda just call for an Uber instead of inconveniencing her friends? That’s what most people would do…or drive their own car and leave it in long term parking. Sounds like Amanda is broke and living beyond her means by relying on friends for rides and picking the most expensive restaurant to get pampered. Amanda is a user and is stirring the pot cause she’s just that kind of person…thrives on drama!

[@RisetoStrength]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 Ladies and gentlemen, this is the type of person you don't respond to.

[@DarkestFIameMaster]

​@@RisetoStrengthrude I'm non binary

[@Joe-lb8qn]

"I asked the server to take a picture of us" Then after that he probably went to a gun store, bought one and gave himself both barrels in the feet.

[@heather1272]

Wifes mother is 100% right about this is how affairs start. Op just went along with it every step of the way.

[@kokoro37]

Amanda is trying to break up OPs marriage, and OP is gaslighting trying to do damage control because he liked the date. Saying he would never cheat, calling wife insecure by saying I know you're not insecure. Asking waiter to take pictures at fancy steakhouse where he spent $300. Giving her a hug, sending her a heart emoji, "liking" the picture she sent. He has a block on thinking he didn't do anything inappropriate, but this is absolutely how affairs start. He doesn't even realize how he keeps defending Amanda, saying she was never inappropriate and only texted him that night but ignoring the fact that Amanda never set the record straight on instagram that he was married to someone else. Why do you keep telling your wife that this shouldn't affect her relationship to Amanda? This would absolutely affect my relationship with my friend if she did this to me, but OP keeps going to bat for Amanda and doesn't even realize it. Be on your wife side! He'll be the first one with a surprised pikachu face when his emotional affair becomes a full-blown affair. Like, "It just happened, we fell in love, we never meant for this to happen, it was an accident, you can't choose who you love" 🙄

[@keshaponso2034]

OP is an AH for expecting his wife to be fine with OP's new GF revealing their relationship. His defensiveness is the biggest problem I have. I wish he wasn't so dismissive. That would make anyone jealous.

[@vincentprice713]

Nah you're wrong

[@stephkais5613]

S1: everyone is saying Amanda knew what she was doing. But so did op. The man knew going to a romantic restaurant with a fitness influencer was a bad idea but did it anyway. He knew having pictures taken of the two of them together was really weird but he did it. He knew the social media post was out of line but still liked it with a heart emoji. I know some people can be a bit slow socially, but a successful rich man is not that level of dumb. Op knew what he was doing, but can play it off like it was all innocent because his wife asked him to pick up a friend from the airport.

[@gngrblls2thwall]

S2: Holy sh*t we found a wife weaponizing incompetence.

[@heatherdickau5335]

Last story OP doesn't seem to care about missing time with her children.

[@babybookworm003]

When mom was a nurse where she worked she did two weeks days then two weeks nights 4 12hr shifts on 3 days off then 3 shifts on 4 days off before switching to days or nights

[@Cel3ere5]

No, he doesn't like dealing with his kids like she previously had. They just need to hire someone to do the yard maintenance. It's not that deep but he's besides himself as he's playing "mom" and probably doesn't know the kids as well as she does so he has to play catch up and it's so hard to ask questions to your kids about their likes and dislikes apparently.

[@joshuaadkins9820]

@@Cel3ere5 hes only home 2-3 days out of 7 and hes doing everything for the kids on top of most of the household chores both inside and outside the home. Dude might as well just divorce her and take half that paycheck since hes doing more of the work.

[@jennysmith38]

​​@@babybookworm003that's how I thought nursing was, shift work, like the police, fire brigade and ambulance. I think that's how it is, here in Australia, except, I know the firemen in the city I live, did two nights 6 - 8, two days 8 - 6, then four days off. I remember when I was in hospital, I would see the nurses doing different shifts, but I don't think it was weeks of nights and weeks of days

[@VixLeu]

@@joshuaadkins9820 could say the same for all the married women that are basically 'single mothers' as well then too. The ones where the guys come home but don't want to do anything with the kids, even on their days off because they 'deserve their time off' even tho their wives have full-time jobs and do all the housework and child care too. They should divorce their husbands as well.

[@LadyCeag840]

Story 1: NTA. OP wasn't unfaithful or crossing boundaries, he was just tricked. Didn't help that Amanda is such a user, or that MIL automatically jumped to "affair" just because of one innocent dinner...

[@lavender5292]

Story 1: This was such a strange situation with OP escalating along way. He says Amanda initially asked to go to a drive thru. HE was the one who suggested getting dinner at a restaurant. HE was the one who decided to eat at the restaurant even after Amanda gave him an out when she said it was too fancy. He is not nearly as blameless as he makes himself out to be AND THEN he has the audacity to manipulate his wife to downplay her feelings and make it seem like she's overreacting. "Why are you acting insecure?" (Invalidating her feelings) "Don't you trust me?" (Making himself the victim) "You're the one who put me in that situation anyway" (Placing blame on her). "Do you really want to be the type to question the details?" (Attempting to assert himself as the voice of reason and making her seem pushy) Don't get me wrong, I still think that Amanda is a snake in their garden, but OP's response to his wife makes this situation so much more concerning.

[@rf159a]

Story 1: I'm out of touch with today's dating rules because of my age BUT I know one thing, OP should NOT have had a bunch of pictures taken with this woman eating dinner and they really should of grabbed take-out. But I know that could be a non issue there as far as the restaurant is concerned. But the pics for social media sure look like a date!! BTW Amanda is probably a very GOOD Chess Player!!

[@rabeaw6646]

Yeah but that just it, looks like. How often do things look different then they really are? I know i wouldnt be mad at my hubby. He comunicated openly the whole night. Yes the pics were a but much but especially in the us influencers are annojing af. So if she is one pics are to be expectet and mean nothing. And maybe the friend was (apart form the socialmedia bs) really just having a nice evening after her last relationship. I wouldnt begrudge my friend a good time with my hubby. I love him, i trust him just as i trust my friends. Sure there are allways ah out there but if we live our life by "everyone could be out to get me somehow" we will be very sad

[@GLoLChibs]

You don't spend 300 dollars on a dinner with one person that isn't your spouse 😂 OP got played like a fool, Amanda knew what kind of place she picked and wanted to experience some of what her friend had.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@rabeaw6646 Sounds like a great way to land yourself with a manipulator like OP. Check out the update, he shifted the blame to her by calling her insecure and implying she knew him better than that. The average person needs to be better at catching this.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

@@rabeaw6646 Did he though? Saying we're going to get dinner is a lot different than saying we're going to eat a multiple course meal at an upscale pricey restaurant for an hour or two. He told it to her in a way that was easy to misinterpret as the less extravagant option. And why do that when the wife is away if the two don't interact like that normally? From the friends words the guy barely talks to anyone but when his wife's away he's willing to sit in a fancy restaurant for awhile and talk with a woman he only knows through his wife? And then he responds to her late night messages with hearts?

[@rabeaw6646]

@@RisetoStrength so theytalked about it and it was fine. He communicated all night, it was her mother who put her up to that path. She wasnt insecure, her mom made her like that. Op was right, she was insecure where she normaly wouldnt have been

[@RisetoStrength]

"I would not expect her to doubt me." OP IS A MANIPULATOR. Trust doesn't mean you're invincible. Calling your partner insecure is shifting the blame. If your partner isn't uncomfortable. before you do something, you are the problem. "I know you aren't an insecure person, and I know you know me better" Pfft. Her feelings are irrelevant to him.

[@kayemckeeth2301]

T h a n k you!! So many people are defending OP but his writing made it clear he was manipulating her

[@DarkestFIameMaster]

​@@kayemckeeth2301T H A N K Y O U

[@RisetoStrength]

@@kayemckeeth2301 I'm the devil when I'm defending a man from the same thing though.

[@truthseeker9249]

Hard disagree on that 4th sentence. You are not automatically the problem if your partner is uncomfortable with something. Sometimes your partner really is overly sensitive, insecure and just all around whiny. Trust me, I've been there. Always made to feel like you're doing something wrong when you definitely aren't. Not disagreeing with your take on the story but that particular opinion I disagree with.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@truthseeker9249 If you're with someone you regard as any of those things, you are the problem. Your partner's discomfort should NOT cause you to react by finding a way to make it their fault.

[@jaydee_0079]

RE: Dinner Out OP is not Stupid, OP is Compound Stupid.

[@RisetoStrength]

OP is actually a genius. Check out how he shifted the blame to her in the update.

[@emanx222]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@loganjoh1]

Story 2: OP really wrote all that and still didn’t realize she was TAH. Making unilateral decisions is never a good idea in a marriage and by the sounds of it all her husband asked was for her to start doing her fair share of the household chores plus yard work isn’t an everyday thing like taking care of the kids also mowing the lawn is really easy the hardest part is getting a mower started if you have a push mower.

[@nightmarefanatic1819]

Exactly. If I was told "You do the yardwork and I'll take care of the kids " Done. A few hours for one day a week over the all day stuff? Absolutely!

[@GiordanDiodato]

it's her life and her job.

[@andreibelittchenko5956]

@@GiordanDiodato Its not her life. That ended when she got married and had a kid. Its their life. Please don't waste anyones time by dating them or reproduce. You are a selfish egotist.

[@m0n0chr0maticRainb0w]

​@@GiordanDiodatoit's also HER Kids that's he's having to parent on his own. And sorry no, when you get married and have children together you have made vows to SHARE your life and took on the responsibility of raising those little humans together. Making career choices that affect the day to day life of the family this drastically with no conversations are huge AH moves.

[@loganjoh1]

@@GiordanDiodato she is also married with kids so she needs to take her husband and kids into consideration when making decisions like this if she was single and child free sure it's her life and job but she's not

[@uncle0eric]

It blows my mind how people can act in ways that any reasonable person would consider sketchy if impartially described, but then think others are unreasonable for considering it sketchy because 'you should know me better' or 'you should trust me no matter what I do', etc. There are way too many stories where people have trusted their partners completely only to be betrayed by them (happened to me, for instance).

[@YellaBellaReno]

He communicated with his wife and was completely transparent the entire time. People who want to hurt you can twist even the most innocuous things. People who are only thinking of themselves will throw you under the bus every time. If the only way for you to keep someone’s trust is to simply not engage in any activity that could potentially be twisted or turned, then in my opinion, their trust isn’t worth having.

[@mogulmade]

Exactly. Op is not oblivious, op is straight lying and gaslighting his wife.

[@Nortarachanges]

@@YellaBellaReno, he wasn’t “completely transparent throughout” though. “Getting something to eat” is not a $300 fancy Italian place with a picture at the end. I don’t think OP is being deliberately manipulative or anything. But I get bad vibes when people trot out the “I _know_ you’re not insecure. You know me better than that” line. I may have heard too many cheater stories at this point

[@Ashbrash1998]

​@Nortarachanges That can be iffy though he told her what he did, nor give a break down of every single action he did. We could also assume that she can see their bank and gets notifications for every purchase made. And technically OP was right, him getting dinner wasn't the problem. It was the mom, the post and Amanda.

[@truthseeker9249]

​@@YellaBellaRenothat last sentiment is exactly what I live by in relationships. Someone determined to keep me under a microscope in order to "trust" me, I've been there before. Never again.

[@Knives7777]

S1: There is no way this dude is this NAIVE. I'm not buying this act. No one is that stupid.

[@RisetoStrength]

You are correct.

[@linussenekal635]

Story 1 : O.P. is dense. He was played by Amanda, but I don't like how he is dismissing his wife's feeling.

[@kellislabach3843]

“She knew I would never have put myself in a compromising situation.” Dude, you did exactly that. Multiple times.

[@persephoneszeliga]

“At least it wasn’t an eggplant” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@SofieAndMe]

S2: Being married to, & having kids with, someone who works overnights is just like being a single parent. Especially when the adults have different days off. I can see these two in divorce court.

[@ThatDamnedGamer1]

Basically had the same story as the husband, and yes divorce is on the way like it was for me.

[@alwayswondering127]

Op in story 1 actually sounds highly manipulative and his wife got played. He is the AH and knows exactly what he was doing.

[@gregorsmirnow6337]

I would treat one of my male friends like this. I have literally picked up one of my friends from an airport, gotten dinner with them, and hugged them. If this behavior is normal for friends, and it's wrong to treat a female friend the same way you'd treat a male friend... Idk. I often hear (and I agree) that men can be friends with women, and you shouldn't treat them differently just because of their gender. It's hard to accept that OP is an asshole while believing a man and a woman can be friends. I guess either view is alright... men and women can be friends the same way two men can be, or OP is the asshole and he's an idiot for acting the way he did. I don't see how both can be true, though. I'd rather live in a world where I'm called an asshole for siding with OP, but I can still have female friends.

[@ShinyShilla]

🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

[@RisetoStrength]

Yes, it is wrong to treat members of the opposite sex the same way you treat your fellows. It creates problems every step of the way, and neither side likes it very much.

[@theunknownone5663]

Story one: stirring the pot? More like stirring the cauldron.

[@Wildpeonies23]

Story 1. NTAH but very very naive especially for going on a friendly date with a wife friend who also just broke up with her bf. That friend was definitely conniving thought, picked a fancy restaurant, and then posting a picture calling your best friend husband friend when that was never the case. Amanda was messy asf. You played into her game.

[@brandinicole1372]

Yeah I don’t OP was the AH . . . he’s just naive.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@brandinicole1372 If it weren't for the update there would be a chance. The moment he got called out, he didn't respond like a naive fool. He responded like a psychologist. "I know you're not secure, and I know you know I'd never do that. What gives?"

[@Rose_Castle]

​@RisetoStrength The thing is that he didn't respond like a psychologist, he responded like a person being attacked. She didn't come to him and say she wanted to talk about something making her uncomfortable, she started snarking at him about his date night and asking if there had been a kiss. When people are being accused of infidelity, even through snark, it is pretty normal to be defensive.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@Rose_Castle A naive man would not be capable of shifting the blame to her in a way that makes it her fault if it doesn't stick. It isn't normal to be defensive when accused of infidelity when you're innocent. When you're innocent, the accusation is an insult and destroys everything the marriage is built upon.

[@Rose_Castle]

@@RisetoStrength A lot of people are insulted and defensive when accused of something they are inoccent of. That is not uncommon at all and not the purview of only those who are guilty. A lot of people, when insulted, will be incredibly defensive. It may erode some of the trust, but I don't agree that it destroys the foundation unless it is a frequent or recurring theme. A naive person, if someone wants to claim the OP is, which I do not. Is completely capable of shifting blame. Shifting blame is not always an articulated and planned narcissistic conspiracy. A lot of people shift blame in all kinds of situations. And I am not convinced he was shifting blame. If a partner is not usually someone who would be jealous and they express jealousy, it would not be out of pocket to ask them what in particular made them feel jealous since it is out of character as they are not usually insecure. The OP could be shifting blame, but I think that would imply that he feels there is anyone wrong in this scenario and that accountability needs to be taken.

[@cfamillytravelgroup3318]

That first story should be called “How to gaslight.”

[@lfriasurzua]

Story 1 - OP is someone I would keep my eye on. Did no one catch the gaslighting he was laying down in the conversation with the wife. Calling his wife insecure....it was subtle, but it was very much there. He took zero accountability for his missteps, of which there were many!

[@DarkestFIameMaster]

Or maybe he is a defensive idiot.

[@alwayswondering127]

Yes! I get horrible vibes from him. He knew what he was doing he also knew he could manipulate his wife to believe him.

[@potatoempress5731]

This right here. He didn't even bother calling out Amanda at all. I think he secretly likes the attention from another woman. I hate OP omg...

[@RisetoStrength]

@@alwayswondering127 And us. 1:14 and 6:30.

[@Sarahmgrigsby]

Story 1: NTA. This is completely something my husband would do. He is just a good friend. Difference is I completely trust him so if he said it wasn’t anything romantic I trust him. If OPs wife can’t trust her husbands intentions they need couples therapy. If it’s the friend’s intention she doesn’t trust then they just need to take a break from her.

[@Ladybug10194]

Story 1. NTA. I think the interactions were innocent but Amanda shouldn’t have posted online and I bet she knew that the restaurant was expensive. OP’s wife should put some distance between her and Amanda.

[@sovereigncrux]

This, 100%.

[@rachelwitherspoon4394]

Story 1 Op isnt that freaking clueless. 300 dollar dinner, fancy restaurant, Every Little Thing playing over a pic of the both of them? Im insta clueless, but even I can see that. Op is a brilliant gaslighter tho.

[@CanyonALynn]

Story 2: IMO, I would think learning how to be a *nurse* is a lot harder than figuring your way around a lawnmower. She was trying to use weaponized incompetence.

[@loganjoh1]

Considering people have their kids mow the lawn a grown woman who made it through nursing school should be able to learn

[@ty.365]

Yea it's really not that hard. She is ruining her marriage and for what a few extra bucks that they probably didn't need.

[@Cel3ere5]

No, he's pissed he can't dump the kids on his wife. They need to hire a lawn service. It's like $20-$30 a cut.

[@CanyonALynn]

@Cel3ere5 I never got any indication of that from the information provided. It sounded like in addition to WFH, ALL childcare and ALL chores were put upon him, which the OP did admit to. Since she didn't want to change her shift back to make things more balanced, then he suggested to pick up more chores while he looked after the kids.

[@gngrblls2thwall]

@@Cel3ere5 He's pissed for the same reason a lot of wives get pissed. They both work full time jobs but she thinks it's fine to just do her job and then come home and do nothing while he handles all the housework and childcare instead of splitting the work 50/50

[@Asperger0815]

S2: That thing is weird AF. The whole thing sounds like she wants to avoid her family while making money for herself. It may be just me, but from being on Reddit for much too long, I suspect it's not only money here... from reading one too many story there I suspect it's also the nice nightshift coworker...

[@dreamart3395]

OP was played like a Stradivarius. Amanda is no friend.

[@catandrobbyflores]

That's a bit of a stretch calling him that. He's not that classy or top teir of a guy.

[@Crusader820]

He was played like a child’s recorder. The easiest mark that ever did mark.

[@catandrobbyflores]

@@Crusader820 👏👏👏👏

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 its always the mil that suspects her daughter's husband of cheating.

[@chryssesandchaos]

To be fair, the mom's reaction was normal, in fact anyone would think they were on a romantic date, if only based on the pictures Amanda posted. At least now, OP and his wife would be more careful on how to deal with Amanda.

[@juanhaines7295]

Fair enough.

[@ringluvr]

Story 1: He told the wife what he was doing the whole time. I think the wife is just embarrassed once it hit social media.

[@melodramatic7904]

No. I think the problem was the wife didn't have the details. He told her they were going to grab a bite to eat. He didn't mention it was a upscale Italian restaurant. He also didn't mention that they were there for over an hour. Didn't mention the hug. The last night messages. etc. Plus, I am sure the Instagram post made the dinner seem more romantic than it actually was. Edit: correction. The mom got into with wife head.

[@JohnWilliams-wl9px]

@@melodramatic7904or how much was spend since she went into their bank accounts to check

[@cniknik9863]

​@melodramatic7904 definitely. She didn't have the whole picture and when she saw it, she was embarrassed. I would be too, I would feel cucked honestly.

[@hothotheat3000]

BINGO. “A bite to eat” sounds like drive thru, not a romantic dinner.

[@hothotheat3000]

He spent $300 on the meal!!!

[@mogulmade]

Story 1: Wife is going to regret staying with Op. Excuse after excuse ayer excuse. $300 on a meal? The picture? The late text. One thing can be explained, but compounded betrayal. Op keeps telling his wife that she isn't insecure and it's giving gaslighting. Those who say "I would never" are usually the ones who do.

[@Ashbrash1998]

Where the hate for the friend then?

[@Someone-or8tp]

@@Ashbrash1998 oh, hate to both of them absolutely. Amanda knew what she was doing, but it takes two to go on a date. OP is minimising, gaslighting and doing the narcissism prayer. "I didn't do that. And if I did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, then it's not a big deal. And if it is, then it isn't my fault. and if it was, then I didn't mean it". constant defending his actions instead of taking accountability. the point here is that Amanda DID do wrong, but when someone is SO CLEARLY in the wrong, then it's easy to throw her under the bus and put all the blame on her to masquerade your own fault in the situation. Amanda's Big Bad is so blaring and red, that OP's mistakes can slip under the radar if we don't hold him accountable for his own fault in the situation. they're both in the wrong. Amanda's fault goes without saying. We know the sky is blue, the grass is green, and Amanda did it on purpose. But we ALSO need to point out that OP doesn't deserve to be defended.

[@PandoraBear357]

It's the fact he updated her, but left out details. It comes across like he knew what they were doing and isn't naive and oblivious like he's pretending to be. He keeps saying his wife was fine with it during, but there's a difference between "grabbing dinner" and a 5 course meal for two in a restaurant with a romantic atmosphere that cost so much your spouse immediately zeros in on the cost in your account. Most people of either gender would not be okay with the latter. "We're grabbing a bite to eat" and "We're eating at this really nice Italian restaurant. The bill was $300." Will likely get different responses. I'd bet he knew that when he was "updating" his wife.

[@whitneybennett4857]

I don't think OP's an a-hole, just an idiot. He did let his wife know what his plans were with Amanda, but the whole thing with the pictures and spending $300 was pretty dumb.

[@veezopolis]

Story 2: sounds like you rant to be single and childless so you choose hours to no longer participate in your marriage or kids life

[@Tyanna01]

Story 1: Amanda 100% knew what she was doing.

[@Buff_Helpy]

I have never facepalmed so many times in a row

[@kaidrazarc8000]

S2: OP should keep the nightshift job that way she can pay her ex husband more child support

[@ApricotStone]

For the last post, I remember that story for a few weeks ago when op got a job offer that would have him working with an ex who he didn’t have a clean break up from and that company had the highest offer. A commenter asked op “Is your marriage worth the extra money?” and I think op of story 2 needs to be thinking of the same thing

[@Cel3ere5]

That's a non comparison with something that can be rectified by hiring a lawn service. You okay? That's kind of a leap.

[@Ashbrash1998]

Different situation, the wife had a big insecurity over an ex he had no contact with for 14 years. She even went detective mode on her social media to get info on her. That is called being insecure over a non threat that never happened. This actually happened, and the husband is complaining about the division of labor with kids.

[@Ashbrash1998]

That's entirely different because he became friends with benefits thrn friends with that ex.....FOURTEEN years age. He immediately dropped her for the wife and there was no bad blood or anything. The wife literally stalked her social media just because when nothing inappropriate happened. That is insecurity over an ex, (which why would you want to be with someone you can't trust?) This HAD happened, is already happening.

[@billbowers9048]

Story 2: YTA. You are burning down your marriage. How much of that new found money do you think the divorce lawyer is going to take.

[@Andrea.S.Alvey12]

2nd story: when is Op spending *quality time with their children.(together, one on one AND as a family)? When is she spending time nourishing her marriage? Is she doing ANY household/family chores at all? Does she even want to know her kids and/or be married? Recipe for a broken family, broken home. 😢

[@AtorrisVsChadinel]

Story 1: Ehh, OP is playing games, especially after that update. Doesn’t sound like someone who’s that unaware of what that dinner implied.

[@amiehome4687]

Story 1. The wife is reasonably upset because she is going to hear about this from friends and family for a while. Everyone who sees the post js going to slyly ask her if things are ok in their relationship and work the photo into the conversation.

[@purpleiguana208]

I have no idea why in the world "ya bloody cheeky so and so (chuckle)" makes me smile so big, but it just does.

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

Sounds like the wife's friend used him for a fancy dinner and an instagram post while disrespecting a friend who would send her husband to pick you up form the airport. lady needs to LOSE that friend..

[@kellislabach3843]

“Amanda” absolutely knew what she was doing when she found the fancy restaurant, when she took the selfie, when she texted him, when she posted, etc. shameful. However, OP messed up by not driving through a fast food joint like she asked. And OP’s wife messed up because she was the one who initially volunteered her husband to pick up her single friend without thinking about how that could be perceived. If others saw them out it could have caused rumors of an affair that would have potentially messed up his life and career. Everyone sucks here.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Is Amanda even a friend here? She took a photo of her and OP that she knew was going to be seen and didn't give the wife any context, leaving OP looking like he's trying to start an affair. So he got his ass chewed for her "likes". Avoid the drama going forward. Just go home and video game. Let the friend Lyft home.

[@Azulakayes]

Exactly. She has no problem causing discord in someone else's relationship for clout. That's why I don't deal with Instagram addicts who need to take pictures and post everything.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Wife should have just told her friend she was out of town and she would have to take an Uber. Would have saved a lot drama!

[@Ashbrash1998]

That was what stood out to me, like she never told anybody she was posting the photo or asking permission to.

[@judehey-6058]

Nah he's straight up golden retriever energy and she took advantage of it😂

[@Lugialuvr]

Story 1: I dont think OP is entirely innocent. Yes Amanda had a game in mind, but the way OP acted in response to trying to be direct had me side eyeing him. The fact he tells her 'i know you're not insecure' and 'i would not expect you to doubt me' Dude wheres the ownership that youre an idiot and got played? You're putting it all on your wife rather than recognizing 'man i really made some dumbass decisions and it looks really bad' Also the lovebombing with the flowers and chocolate and offering to take her out to dinner the moment he sees her. I think one of those couldvs been a nice apology but all three abd trying to sweep it aside at first? I think hes dumb but he definitely liked the attention. Getting pics at the dinner??? I wouldnt feel comfortable doing that with some guy i distantly knew An expensive fancy restaurant? I make good money and id balk at that. Dude shouldve just done the drive thru or picksd a quick place nearby. If theyre by an airport it shouldnt be like the fancy place is in the middle of nowhere. OP is an idiot and an asshole. Amanda didnt have to try hard to start crap when she had OP play into her every move

[@ChrisAndCats]

I'm surprised he didn't end up.wearing the chocolates.

[@Deanssecertdesire]

I totally agree. He sounds like he's gaslighting to me. Deny his wife's feelings, having an excuse for everything, it all seems too..perfect.

[@RisetoStrength]

@@Deanssecertdesire Let me confirm your suspicions. Please help me spread these timestamps. 1:14 and 6:30.

[@kbb684]

Story 1: OP is very naive, and he communicated throughout so I don't think this was an issue until it hit social media. I completely understand, I would feel gross, the optics are bad. No terrible intentions on Amanda's side I think, but she definitely used him for clout at the very least. That being said, FIVE COURSES ?!?!?

[@owl7072]

I barely even get two courses unless there's mozzarella sticks or something 💀

[@pearl_lisha896]

Story 1: OP heart liked the picture, that to made the whole thing sus to me.

[@YellaBellaReno]

Based on your response and others, I think people are putting way too much stock in emoji responses. That or I’m not in putting enough. I heart pretty much every photo someone sends me.

[@chrisa.k.1531]

@@YellaBellaRenoI think some apps if you double tap the default is heart.

[@slippyquack7672]

Op in story 1 learned a valuable lesson: don't help your wife's friends out, even if she asks.

[@DarkCrystalSage]

Nurse Story: Hi, I grew up with a nurse who worked night shifts at an ICU. Not once did I think mom was avoiding me cause uh there are days off, I'm certain OP has days off as well. This one is a hard one to judge because I grew up like this; I lived with my gran and mum but I think the difference is my mom does find time to do household work and have time for me. Both YTA and NTA?

[@ayanaatthrivebewhole]

In story 1, when you're in a long-term relationship, it's your job to maintain the perception of integrity. Your partner is not with you 24/7, and I feel like op was being really dismissive of his wife's concerns, and trying to make her out to be the insecure one. I also think what Amanda did is unhinged, and he hasn't been educated about people's red flags. This is not over by a long shot. Because everyone is just focused on gaslighting the wife, this will go unchecked, and continue.

[@VidWatcher01]

So Amanda couldn't take an Uber? Why did OP's wife even ask her husband to pick up another single woman. OP shouldn't have like the pic. ESH Edit: Ohhh so the MIL was instigating & started all the drama

[@BoringTroublemaker]

Are you really that insecure that you won’t let your husband do a favor for a friend of yours just because she’s single?

[@VidWatcher01]

@@BoringTroublemaker Amanda is that you?

[@BoringTroublemaker]

@@VidWatcher01 uh, no, I’ve been married for 20 years, and I’m _not_ pathetically insecure

[@VidWatcher01]

@@BoringTroublemaker Could've fooled me! 🤣 Usually the people accuse other of being insecure are the ones doing the most dirty. I was just asking simple question & you responded with all these accusations. You claim not to be insecure but who are you trying to convince me or you? Sounds like someone got triggered🥴

[@BoringTroublemaker]

@@VidWatcher01 that’s some heavy lifting you’re making that comment do. I’m pointing out that cutting people out of your husband’s life because you’re insecure is not the behavior of a healthy person or relationship. You’re the one getting defensive.

[@mason3671]

Notice how OP in story 1 says at 1:14 that he has no plans and doesn’t mind picking Amanda up. Then at 6:28 when replying to a comment says he was annoyed and had his entire evening planned out.

[@RisetoStrength]

Why was I not sharp enough to pick up on this?

[@noname-ip9xe]

Nta, but the “friend” is, the wife needs to drop her.

[@krishnavyas313]

Op is absolutely 100% AH. No loyal would send ❤ emoji to his wife friend.

[@ScragsP22]

Story 1: OP is way way out of line! It’s not even debatable. Every single part of that date (because that’s exactly what it was) smells fishy. Her mom was absolutely correct about every aspect. I hate how overused and incorrectly used the word “gaslighting” is but it most certainly applies here. He was gaslighting his wife with every question she raised and every point she made. I even went back to see his answers to her completely valid questions. He gaslights every time. Poor Wife: “Why did you spend so much money?” (A fact that she had to search the credit card bill for and not something he was upfront about) Cheating/Gaslighter OP: “You already know I was raised to ALWAYS pay every dinner bill no matter what and that I’ve gotten into fights over it.” (So no answer) Wife: “Why did you hug and then walk her to her door instead of just dropping her off?” Cheating/Gaslighter OP: “I can show you on location app exactly the time I took her home and then when I got home “. (again not what she asked at all and he doesn’t answer the real question yet again) Poor Wife: “Why does the pic look romantic?” Cheating/Gaslighter OP: “Do we really want to be one of those couples who question every detail?” Etc… His whole post is like this! What an absolute POS!!! His wife is out of town and he chooses that moment to act completely out of character (being Mr Charm) then hides a late night message complete with romantic song and also hides the totally inappropriate heart emoji response on top of it. He’s a cheater! Wife needs to listen to her mother and open her eyes. I really hope karma comes back around and blows him out of the water. Better yet, I hope the wife picks a better guy from amongst his friends and does the same thing. Hopefully she finds someone else to treat her with the respect and love she deserves. OP and the wife’s “friend” however deserve to be covered in honey and tied to a red ant hill. They’re both absolutely pieces of trash!

[@ashassassin]

Story 1, what the fuck is Amanda's game? She suggested the restaurant but had no idea it was so nice and expensive?! She's taking pictures and posting them? Telling your wife details that didn't happen? Eta, posted this before the update. Yikes.

[@CyeOutsider]

$300 for dinner with someone you barely know? What?

[@GereldJohnson]

Wouldn't Amanda have known the wife was out of town for the week?

[@commoncrook8531]

Story 1 - starting to see why that friend is perpetually single.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 1. My husband is clueless, he can never tell when a woman is flirting with him and it just goes over his head. However, even he isn't so clueless and wouldn't do something like OP did. He is also not so clueless as to send a heart emoji to one of my friends after she sent a picture to him. He also would not hug another woman aside from our daughter, his mother, or sisters. I would also no better than to do things like that as well.

Men are not met with praise as much as women think, so often a compliment is just a compliment, sure if we are single we will remember that compliment forever. If we are secure in our relationship and trust our partner why would we assume someone is flirting with us when they know we are happily partnered up or married just pointing out this can fly right over our heads for good reasons.

[@RisetoStrength]

You'd assume someone is flirting with you because they're treating you very differently from the way all other women treat you. Men that don't see that aren't innocent, you included. Here's my proof for OP. 1:14 and 6:30 are two lies to conceal his true motive; enjoying this date with a woman he barely knows.

[@krishnavyas313]

No loyal man send ❤ emoji to wife's friend.

[@MimosaRose]

Story 1- $300?! My friend you went on a date!

[@AndyyWithAY]

I thought for sure it was YTA by the title, but OP didn't do anything wrong. Amanda is the one who posted the photos on IG. He wouldn't have even been with Amanda had the wife not made him. It WASN'T romantic or a date for OP. He was just being a good guy and listening to a woman having a rough time. He kept in touch with his wife the whole time. Amanda MAY be into OP. If OP was a female, I don't think anyone would be saying it's inappropriate. I always text my female friends I had a great time after we hang out and if we took pics I send them.

[@OKAYOKAY420]

I was on his side until I heard he spent $300 on dinner.

[@cniknik9863]

Don't make this a man vs woman thing. If OP was a woman it would also be fishy. Not because OP was doing anything bad but that the "friend" may have different motives.

[@immapotato1]

or it could be a misery loves company situation. she's jealous her relationship failed so wanted to force conflict into her "friend's" marriage so their both miserable

[@plottintoast]

$300 isn't a lot of money to some people. Obviously OP didn't think it was a big deal or he would have suggested a cheaper place.

[@OKAYOKAY420]

@@plottintoast it's a lot to spend on someone you barely know.

[@dawnstone4424]

That first story… Amanda knew what she was doing. OP is clueless. I think his wife is mad at the wrong person.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: OP made an arbitrary decision that dumps the house labor on her husband. But hey, she's making more money! What an asshole!

[@GiordanDiodato]

so f**k more money is what you're saying.

[@Russman67]

@@GiordanDiodato If the more money is coming from everybody else picking up your slack, then yes. Of course she's well rested If all she's doing is going to work and sleeping while her husband is running the whole house and working as well.

[@olgachernova6225]

She became a standard husband, lol. No surprise her partner is unhappy 😂

[@BerryGood4U]

I used to work in healthcare and I can absolutely tell you that parents would be awake in the evening to have dinner and see their children and spouses. Sleep would usually happen a few hours after getting home in the morning/daytime and then a nap before going to work for 11pm.

[@YeahIsaiditandwhat]

Amanda sucks. It doesn’t matter the possible reason Amanda isn’t correcting her followers, it’s about consent. She didn’t ask OP if it was ok to post him. I wonder if OP will be paying for the concert too. Being naive and poor boundaries go hand in hand, the wife’s mom understands this. This friendship needs to end or be downgraded. How many times when someone is down on their luck, they monkey branch to someone else’s partner to get a leg up? Too many. OP’s “do we really want to be that couple that questions every little detail” is manipulative and not something I would say when my partner is looking for reassurance.

[@immapotato1]

Story 2: a truly rare case of a female deadbeat parent being called out

[@TheRockinDonkey]

Mowing the lawn is so mentally taxing! Unless they have some goofy ass riding lawnmower, I don’t think “I don’t know how” is valid.

[@GiordanDiodato]

how is she a deadbeat when she drops off the kids?

[@immapotato1]

@@GiordanDiodato husband drops them off. she just says bye as they are going out.

[@MsJaymeC]

It's not very often I'm glad to be older, I did enjoy my youth. But story 1 is a time I'm happy to be older. I can honestly say that had my husband and I been in that situation, we would have been ribbing each other on how much that ended up like a date.