I Will Never Have A Best Friend Again.

[@gowanderlustwithme]

If you find even 1 or 2 good friends in a lifetime - you're blessed. I don't need a best friend - never have. I'm somewhat of a loner and prefer my own company to others! I especially hate superficial gatherings - painful!

[@laurahillauthor]

I agree!

[@lorihoop3831]

Very painful, no thanks

[@imalrockme]

Oh the gatherings, pure sacrifice! I have 3 really close and honest friends so we're intimate enough to say bye bye whenever we feel like it and to say "sorry, i just don't feel like going out", just like that, no excuses. The rest of people, it's really hard to make small talk etc. 🥵

[@reginafisher9919]

Agree

[@Wendy-p3m]

I’m my own best friend. Friends are a dime a dozen.

[@dayzemae9015]

I am older and retired. All my life I did nothing but try to please everyone. I have had millions of friends, but I found myself always asking myself after they would ask a favor…would they do it for me? No, not once I told myself. Now I love not having friends, I have dogs and I am so much happier.❤

[@littlemissy8356]

There is not a shortage of people who take advantage and will not also look after you. I found myself being picky of who I help.

[@trinasyoutube]

So relatable.

[@vikker8274]

My dog is always ready to hang with me on any adventure. So glad her and I don’t live in that kind of heat! She’s my activity buddy and snow is fun when you have a dog.

[@My_cats4748]

Our fur babies are the best friends we could have.

[@laurahillauthor]

As long as you are happy that is what matters.

[@1JohnnyCruiser]

It's a shock to find out you aren't your best friend's, best friend.

[@ironmaiden4396]

They shocked when they get BLOCKED. LOL!!!

[@cathgiesbrecht2202]

Ouch. True.

[@chellejack3480]

I actually prefer not to be my best friend's best friend. Less pressure on me to do all the favors.

[@pw3543]

Ouch!

[@MsShyla222]

I have found that so very true!

[@gardenroom65]

Family aren’t much better…..

[@laurahillauthor]

I think family can be the worst because the betrayal cuts deeper

[@dirtyace1668]

Really depends on your family. Some are very lucky with this and some are terribly cursed, and then there's everything in between.

[@charlottetaylor4471]

Abusive parents are the cause of so much suffering and so many troubles in the world.

[@judyhalsell9510]

Amen to that.

[@SuzyQ-qd8xf]

@@gardenroom65 absolutely…. The “tracks” on my back are from family members continually running over me. I’ve learned a lot the past couple of years, about myself and them. I tried to please everyone, ( concerning my mother, she passed 2 years ago) this coming from her siblings… I could never do enough. Like I said, I’ve learned so much. Boundaries my friends, boundaries and therapy.

[@Cheryl-f5y]

A good adage I follow, “Don’t tell all you know”, to anyone except God, He’s totally trustworthy🌸

[@laurahillauthor]

Amen

[@weekendatbernies2265]

Agree, but we need a flesh and blood soul to share with as well

[@barbarakivel2396]

Thank you for your story…I truly felt your pain as I have been in your shoes a couple of times. Now I am my own best friend. (Not to mention my dog!)

[@god1bless]

So true

[@carolwilliams8281]

Wish I had learned that 60 years ago.

[@MagneticPowder]

I use mirroring. I just mirror the energy I get. If a friend stops putting effort in then so do I. If the friend starts putting effort in then so do I. It works great. You never feel used and you never end up using anyone else.

[@francesjohnson3045]

Good but not so easy for all

[@susan7374]

Yep, that's right.

[@eleanorvanrooyen9335]

Good advice!

[@moonhunter9993]

Yes, also "test" your friendships. If you've done them a favor, ask them for one back. See how they react, also thr attitude...

[@patmiskow5133]

@@moonhunter9993😊

[@jannie690]

The best advice I got when my son died, was “you will be surprised who is and is not there for you”. From a woman who buried her teenage daughter. It was so true. Instead of expecting my besties to be there, I just observed who was and who wasn’t. It was eye opening.

[@laurahillauthor]

I’m so sorry but yes sadly I have heard this from other women who have lost a child. I’m so sorry for you loss

[@jannie690]

@@laurahillauthor thank you

​@@jannie690 I experienced this in 2020. Two people that I thought I was close to abandoned me when I lost my grandmother and dad with 3 months of each other. The very next year one of them lost their mother and I was there. She apologized for not showing up for me but we are no longer friends.

[@pennyiuliano7604]

Yes friends do treat you differently when you get divorced , one is because they’re jealous that they don’t have the guts to be in that situation and secondly they think you’re going to steal their not so good looking husband’s 😂😂 enjoy your life people you have only one 🇦🇺😍

[@trishalee3198]

Jannie690, Such heavy losses and I hope Angels lightened your load and put someone there for you (in spirit to comfort you). So sorry you also had to deal with the biggest loss of all, besides our parents and our siblings, is losing a child.

[@Quilt4Joy]

I learned at an early age to never repeat what someone has told me. Especially at work. No matter how much I dislike someone, I never ever disclose something they said. I’ve gotten much farther in life living by this motto.

[@May-m4n]

That´s a good trait🙌

[@gracebe235]

That is what I live by too! I had a coworker who didn’t like me, give me some great advice MANY years ago…..”Don’t share too many details about yourself-people will eventually use it against you.” I think of her fondly years later…..she may not have seemed to like me…..but, maybe she liked me more than we both knew, to be giving me such valuable (and prophetic) advice! Some people that I thought were trustworthy and loved me, have used information about me against me!

[@wordswordswords8203]

I can't do this. I just overshare like crazy and tell on people I don't like. It's awful. I don't have control over myself this way.

[@May-m4n]

@@wordswordswords8203 Even those that seem to like you may not because they know they can´t trust you. It´s the same with those who are always late they equally create bad energy for themselves. Maybe just talk to those you have a problem with directly. But there´s definitely a pay-off for whatever behaviour we have

[@Szahra87]

@@wordswordswords8203. Get a journal, record yourself and even make money by blogging or KZbin ! I had that problem with husband, I kept talking and talking while he half listened! Now I just write

[@annajustice7620]

When I was 7 , my 'best friend' stopped hanging around with me and got a new friend. I was devastated!! When I told my mother..she said: If you find even one good friend your whole life, consider yourself lucky." I had no idea what she was talking about. Now, many years later....I do.

[@denverdubois5835]

Same thing happened to me. I was heartbroken and never quite got over it. Decades later, she and I are very close. Turns out the friendship that took my place was incredibly unhealthy. They were joined at the hip and the other girl led her into a lot of very risky and dangerous lifestyle choices which resulted in incredibly damaging experiences for her, including a date rape. She didn't manage to break free from her until her early 40s but she is so much happier now and we are as close as we ever were. She even apologized to me. You just never know what someone else is going through.

[@DEBORAH4-ut9sz]

Mom knows best

[@alisonkalbskopf6817]

I lost my very best friend to cancer in 2019. It totally devastated me. One of the last things she said to me was “ you know my heart”. After she passed, I thought about that many times. Eventually I planted a tree and had a small stone memorial made with this phrase on it. It really did well describe our relationship. I don’t ever expect to have a friend like her again. She was a once in a lifetime!

[@laurahillauthor]

I’m so sorry you lost your dear friend. What a blessing that you had each other 💔

[@TrustJesus333]

Learned way too late that many are not trustworthy at all. It is a realization that is heart-breaking.

[@deborahcurtis1385]

Jealousy is very unacknowledged as a motivator mainly because most who are actively that way are not willing to acknowledge it. Some are also only interested in power. So if you move away from closeness, or become needy for a time due to stress, they simply want to punish you.

[@lisamarie15]

@@deborahcurtis1385this, jealousy is definitely an unexpected issue I have encountered. Now I know though but I didn’t expect it so late in life.

[@roses.trees.ocean.sky.90]

💐🎉 Yes it surely is heart breaking. I Cherish God, the greater Universe- Nature and Animals. For me this far surpasses any human interaction. It also brings Reverence, Awe and Deep Gratitude. 💗🥰💗 May You Cherish All that Nourishes and Heals You. 🙏🏼💗🙏🏼 May You Enjoy Nature's Beauty, Feel and Know Divine Blessings, Peace and Joy. 🙏🏼💗🙏🏼

[@MaryBlandford]

My best friend of 20 years had been having an affair with my husband for the entire length of our friendship. I told her secrets about how I was treated, his anger, his siding with his mother over me during any argument. She would listen to me, then tell my husband what bothered me the most & DOUBLE DOWN ON IT. Later he told me I was too stupid to figure it out. It was psychological warfare against me by the people I loved & trusted the most. But, yet today, I have a new best friend and we a sharing a place now for the last 3 years. I divorced him after a year of separation, but his behaviors became worse & although I still loved him, I made the decision to walk away, which shocked him. I'm almost 3 years Post divorce, & have a good life. My best friend didn't leave her husband & my husband was devastated. Now he has neither woman.

[@TrustJesus333]

@@MaryBlandford I am so very sorry that happened to you!😓

[@emilyevans6989]

I just turned 61, and in the past 5 years I have realized that I have wasted a lot of good friendship on people who don’t deserve it. I’m just going with the flow now.

[@Vashti0825]

I'm 62. I can relate to your statement. I removed myself from a marriage and a community of people who, for the most part, never reached out to me since I left, despite the many years of time spent together. My family thinks I need to "get out there". I'm just okay for now living alone with my dogs

[@camillefunn6405]

Me too!!!

[@SuzyQ-qd8xf]

@@emilyevans6989 Yes Emily. I agree.

[@DEBORAH4-ut9sz]

@@Vashti0825 MeToo

[@jayneshort8603]

My besties are animals always and for ever.

[@liseraphina2421]

I only trust animals❤❤

[@themountainsandthesea4121]

Mine too💗🙏

[@marcelogouveia9614]

When you are too nice, people will take advantage of you. Now that I am getting close to retirement, I realize that I will be nice to myself. Nobody else!

[@laurahillauthor]

Good advice!

[@monicamolsky5967]

YES. 🎯

[@sweetpeanmolly]

I’m 65 and have shedded many ‘friends’ along the way. I find myself perfectly content and happy. I now write, bake bread, and have gotten into learning how to ferment food. I can do all of this because there is no more drama! 🙏🙏🙏

[@roses.trees.ocean.sky.90]

Awesome. Happy for You. 🙏🏼💗 🦋

[@noracoyle4988]

I'll drop by your place some time for a loaf of bread😂

[@laurahillauthor]

Good for you! And what great hobbies

[@saramegan737]

Exactly

[@kimmyg990]

Sourdough starter is definitely your friend 🥖

[@ВиталийСлонов-ч4ъ]

Being nice has completely ruined my life.

[@laurahillauthor]

Maybe being nice to people who did not deserve your kindness. I still think there are so many good people out there but I will never give more than I get again

[@bevm.4832]

Your Kindness Will Be Rewarded In Heaven! 😇

[@SuzyQ-qd8xf]

I’ve tried to be a people pleaser and be nice and where has it gotten me??? I have become cynical in this regard.

[@sonyareyes1000]

We need boundaries, give equally, and remember we don't owe nice to anyone. It's our choice ❤

[@sararichardson737]

That speaks of my life experience exactly. Casing Pearl before swine.

[@NGD1953]

I had my friend reality check when I got breast cancer. I was retired, and my husband had died. I was pretty much alone except for several really close friends. I had been close friends with these women for many years. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer they all told me not to worry about a thing, they would be there for me for anything I needed. However, to my shock, not one of them were. They all totally deserted me. I was very hurt that they barely acknowledged anything was going on. Later, each of them apologized and said they were sorry for not being around at all. None of them gave a reason why. I felt like they not only deserted me, but all just lied about being there for me. Them reacting as they did caused me to look at women’s friendships in a totally different way. Like you, I’ll never allow myself to trust friends in the same way again.

[@laurahillauthor]

I hope you are fully recovered. I have an old college friend going through that right now. I just did a video a few weeks ago on helping friends through illness. I learned to be a better friend to her because people on this channel gave me so many good ideas. Illness really scares a lot of people and they don’t want to be around it or are so worried that they won’t do or say the right thing, that they do nothing. Your post will help other women thanks for sharing

[@joannedeepsheep8161]

I am so sorry to hear this. I am the same. Went thru a bad case of covid and had 2 visits in a month. My only value is my loving pets who know all my secrets and love. Yes I have grandchildren and family but they are busy. I am someone who would go above and beyond to be there for someone but that doesn’t happen to me

[@alomaalber6514]

I left my TV job to do hospice for my dad, then my fiancee and mom. The so called "bible study friend" tried to exhort our house! Mom cussed her out with Scripture. "depart from me" at age 100! fortunately the house was already in my name. Some great people helped me in care but it was their job to do so. Crisis is interesting as to who does show up. Best to you.

[@PCAGA2298]

I am so sorry that happened to you. I became chronically ill with a progressive neuroimmune illness in 2013. Shortly after I lost all my friends. Too sick to make new ones. I don’t trust people like I used to but have learned to be content with my own company and to confide in only my diary❤

[@deborahcurtis1385]

It is disappointing to see that others have had similar issues. But it's also reassuring, so many thanks for that and I'm so happy for you that you recovered and also saw who they are. Saves you from future heartache, you got it over with in one hit!

[@tangyjoe4326]

A mistake some make is relying on your friends like they’re your therapist. Yeah they care but they don’t deserve to be a repository of everything negative on your mind all the time. Some friends I’ve started out being supportive but then they start to see me as only an ear or shoulder and it’s exhausting. I’ll have your back but I can’t carry your front, feet, arms and head all at once too. If you’re going through a tough time of course tell your friend(s) but make sure the friendship doesn’t just become all about your problem. Some people lose perspective and forget the other person is a whole person too.

[@laurahillauthor]

Very good points thanks for sharing

[@LFetterman7903]

Absolutely! Very, very good point!

[@somai_1]

I learned this too late. I had one friend left and she told me to see a psychiatrist one day when I was very stressed between work and caregiving. I had listened to her issues for years, and tried to help her. I think it's over now. When my mom was in the hospital for 2 weeks I realized that I really didn't have any friends left. Thank God for my siblings and coworkers for caring.

[@deborahcurtis1385]

Yes but it's up to you to set boundaries. If you never do that or let the other person know where you and they went wrong, how can they improve?

[@deborahcurtis1385]

@@somai_1 That is just nasty of her. Some people are very inadequate and unhealthy.

[@bonfiredancer]

It's sad that we can only be superficial with most people. I'd rather just be alone.

[@MelaniaT-r6m]

Don’t be nice. It’s a trap.

[@NinjaBooKitty]

I love being alone. All the time.

[@joannapatterson4625]

100 percent. I have 2 good friends and that’s enough. Drama and superficial friends are not for me..

[@sharondoan1447]

It took me a lifetime to conclude I would never be enough. Could never be enough. Didn’t have the ability to be enough to keep close personal friends. Now, I do my own thing without having unrealistic hopes for closeness with a friend. I am my own best friend. I’m 81 and my husband is living. He has never been my closest friend. The personality differences have always interfered with that possibility.

[@MelaniaT-r6m]

@@sharondoan1447 You have it right! We are supposed to be alone late in life I have decided. I go places just to be alone somewhere else. I am just sorry I don’t have multiple personalities to keep me company.

[@ldirk58601]

35 year friendship and she stabbed me so hard it ruined my family. It still ruins us. I will never never care like that again. And I dont know why. I have learned to stop loving and trusting humans. I cling to nature, animals, art and books.

[@laurahillauthor]

I’m so sorry. I know how painful it can be. I’m obviously still bothered and hurt 20 plus years later

[@alomaalber6514]

I hear ya.

[@mtnwalkingdogwoman]

That old saying dogs are a mans best friend came to my mind when reading your comment, I agree 100% !,

[@roses.trees.ocean.sky.90]

So sorry. 💗💗💗 I too, will *Never* Trust humans again. Yes, Absolutely 🌟Nature 💚 🌟Animals 💚 🌟Art 🖼 🌟Books 📖 and I'd add ( for me) combination of Gratitude, Meditation and Prayer as well as Healing music,🎶 nature sounds, 🌦 and yummy food. 🍓🥑🍕😄 Aren't we lucky we have these aspects of life to Cherish and Value. Genuinely Very Sorry for your pain and hurt. May You Feel and Know Divine Beautiful Blessings of Reverence for Life, Serenity, Deep Inner Peace and Joy. 🙏🏼💗🦋 Take Care. All the Very Best.

[@ldirk58601]

@@roses.trees.ocean.sky.90 Thank You so much. I agree with everything you added. And use them, too. Lots of tools to make a happy life. I do know this. I would much rather be the one who was hurt than the betrayer. Peace be with you 🕊

[@memedavis4228]

Nothing last forever, absolutely nothing. People change, circumstances change, we learn to go with the flow as we age because we understand life is but a vapor. Live each day the best you can and treat people respectfully for the moments you see them. Take your burdens to our Lord, he listens and forgives us in so many ways that no one else will ever forgive us.

[@ashleykindheartministries]

Amen😢❤️

[@vichuck5609]

So true 🙏🏻✨

[@BrendaBaBoom]

Amen 🙏🏽

[@createwithbarbbl4125]

At my age now, I guess I think a BFF is something for High School.

[@laurahillauthor]

Me too!!

[@deborahconkle6822]

I am now 69 years old. I did lose my BFF. YES I said it out loud,BFF. We became friends when we were 16/17 years old. I lost her February 13,2022 at 8:30 am. We had been friends for 50 years. Sadly I couldn’t and didn’t know it was her last day. Thankfully I was there via zoom. I was one of 4 to lovingly see her take her last breath. We shared EVERYTHING. Good,bad,ugly. I do understand not wanting to put all your stock in one person. However I did and never regretted it. Maybe the minority? I do however have another friend I know I really could do the same and ironically have been friends with for 40 years. That said we all have to go with our heart and gut at the end of the day. Hope I didn’t ramble too much here. ❤Blessings and best to all. I will be rewatching this. As I reread my comment,I do want to say I am sorry for those felt there was a “best friend” and later felt betrayed.

[@laurahillauthor]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I would have loved having a best friend when I was younger especially one who stayed close over my lifetime. You were very lucky

[@LaLaJonesG]

My best friend now is God. I’ve learned the hard way :(

[@heatherhorton8252]

Thank you for being so forthright and insightful. Just discovered your utubes.😊

[@SMKovalinsky]

I’m now 65. I had many close friends in the past. But once I began to have health, family, and financial issues, they drifted away. I was the same person I always was, but because of these problems, they no longer had any desire to speak with me. It was a lesson learned, and a very frightening and depressing one.

[@qso3566]

I'm upper 60's and found out, via life experiences, that NOT ONE so-called friend was actually a friend. People can be so selfish and inconsiderate. I understand what you mean about lessons learned but yes indeed, frightening and depressing to accept the fact that in our sixties we don't have one good, close, trusted friend.

[@grandma460]

Never too late. Perhaps the best is yet to come. ❤

[@roses.trees.ocean.sky.90]

So Sorry. 💐💗🎉 Personally, I find Deeply Connecting with Nature when alone brings me closer to God and the Greater Universe and brings Beautiful Blessings that people cannot. 🌞🌄🏞🌷 There's a Grace, Healing and Inner Peace when we're in touch with our Spirit that no human interaction can compare. At least for me. Take Care. 😊 May You Cherish, Value and Nourish Yourself and Enjoy Reverence of Life through God, the Beauty of Nature and all you enjoy, as it applies to you. 🌟🙏🏼🌟 May You Feel and Know Serenity, Peace and Joy. 🙏🏼💗🙏🏼

[@SMKovalinsky]

@@roses.trees.ocean.sky.90 Good advice. Thank you 🙏💗

[@angelaphu]

Yep, humanity in a nutshell, but humans refuse to see this within themselves, and victim blame instead.

[@yasamansadri1893]

God bless my mom’s soul, when I was 6 years old and I got betrayed by my friend at school, she said it’s your first time seeing such thing but it emit be your last time, your best Freind is God and books, be freind with people but don’t trust them hundred percent. Her advice saved me many many times in my life and oh boy she was so right.

[@gigi4874-w3w]

Friend.

[@SuzyQ-qd8xf]

Adult friendships have been very difficult. I’ve been thinking for years that something was wrong with me. I’ve always tried to be nice and kind to everyone…and saw little return for my efforts. Another comment said “being nice has ruined my life.” I have also become cynical. I don’t want to over share my very personal thoughts.

[@Bunny11344]

Be your own best friend. Don’t just let anyone in. Put up an emotional wall not everyone is allowed to have access to you. And there’s nothing wrong with that, especially with other females.

[@SuzyQ-qd8xf]

@@Bunny11344 thank you.

[@judyhalsell9510]

I feel exactly like this.

[@vester7457]

Discretion is wise all through life. Confide in someone only in necessary situations

[@kazbah1217]

I've stopped oversharing and trying to please others. They don't reciprocate and aren't worth the efforts.

[@annematthews4643]

I have had my best friend for 60 years, we sat beside each other in school and lived 5 minutes from each other. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have her and her family in my life and she knows me better than anyone. She has supported and comforted me through some of life’s hard knocks and I have done the same for her. Can’t imagine life without her in it.

[@qso3566]

Your comment helps no one here.

[@swl9270]

Very lucky you are! Most of us aren’t that fortunate

[@heretik111]

It's lovely to leave a tribute to your friend here, and I'm sure you consider yourself the luckiest person in the world. You are in the tiny minority, so treasure your connection. I envy you.

[@schanychamemphis1327]

Well good for you. My sixty year plus friendship ended abruptly one day because she thinks I might have voted for TRUMP. I haven't voted in years.

[@heretik111]

@@schanychamemphis1327 Wow, that must have really hurt. It sounds over-reactive to me, particularly if she wouldn't listen to you. Bit of a worry that, as we age, mental decline becomes a real possibility. It must have been devastating.

[@kymfrancis4612]

I am a retired psychologist & I have a few very good friends who I’ve trusted & loved for many years. Recently a friend of over 35 years lost her only child in an accident, I have also lost a child in a freak accident & at first my friend was, understandably, very reliant on me & I was providing resources & information about grief & loss & out of the blue she started trying to diminish my grief for my child & she has become very bitter & angry & she has started lashing out at me. I called her on her behaviour & she took great offence & now I am not someone who she will talk to. I was initially devastated because I was so surprised by her behaviour; I am now actually relieved that I don’t have to provide that support because I was starting to have flashbacks of my child’s accident, just as I was dropping off to sleep, the panic attacks were dreadful & I hadn’t experienced those flashbacks for several years. I will always love my friend but she doesn’t have a place among my close friends anymore 😪

[@laurahillauthor]

I’m so sorry. As you know better than me. The most difficult times, times of deep pain and tragedy pull people too close to the point where there usually tends to be an explosion. Thus why I kept my divorce very private. Thanks so much for commenting

[@Nwladylaura369]

That is so sad! Sorry for your loss. I lost my BF of over 35 years when my Mom passed away! I also had to sell my Mom’s home, but first clean out the hoarded mess and deal with my 💩 Sister. This was all during the shut down in La La land. I’m only now starting to feel like myself again.

[@sharonlain5830]

I have a relationship with a person in our extended family. Her husband took his life a few months after she separated from him. Her anxiety and grief from years of an abusive relationship brought out anger. I’m not her punching bag and told her in so many words. We are still friendly but I realize I’m dealing with a person with deep trauma. I don’t expect or need anything from her. That viewpoint helps me ignore a lot when I’m around her.

[@laurieclark2456]

Lost my son who was so dear and talented to a bad relationship I should have interfered. Shot himself. Age 24

[@maxi16]

@@laurieclark2456I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a child like that is so hard. The problem for many of us is we just don’t know what people are thinking so we can’t know when and how to help.

[@jeannewton1706]

Jealousy was the biggest thing that finally stopped my friendship with my friend of thirty five years.

[@amylee9]

I realized with any peers my age, there was an underlying competition. I’ve realized friendships work better if the friend is older or younger and not so much of a peer. It’s the famous crabs-in-a-bucket mentality.

[@anthonypapp6349]

When you start doing better than your friends things start to change, if you are growing personally things will change with your friends, they will call you less, spend less to no time with you, won't return your calls or ghost you all together. I call this the green with envy stage, once this starts you will notice who your real friends are chances are your real friend will have four legs.

[@SA-xc9hz]

@@amylee9 Nope, I'm in my 30s and befriended a woman who is almost 50. She became very envious of me, my life and sabotaged my relationship.

[@amylee9]

@@SA-xc9hz Jealousy usually comes from seeing a peer do better. So anyone in the peer category would get jealous. Usually people don't consider someone of an above or below generation a peer, but I guess it can happen if they feel they could have done what you've done. But one of the reasons most people aren't jealous of say, the King or Queens of England, is because they aren't "peers" and so the comparing to them doesn't inherently make much sense.

[@zenamom]

And I find that jealous people are often very selfish. They can't be happy for someone else; it's like they think that there is a single happiness pie in the world, and if you get a slice then that's one piece they can get. The focus is always on themselves.

[@debradawson3051]

After being betrayed by friends and family over the years, at 69 years old, I enjoy relationships with women that focus on what we have in common: books, baking, gardening, knitting, quilting, needlearts, grandchildren. No deep conversations on faith, politics, other relationships, etc. I’m not lonely, just enjoy not having expectations from others and loving my hobbies, the grands and my husband of almost 50 years.

[@laurahillauthor]

My hobbies are really what connect me to others. I love my cross stitch group💗

[@alomaalber6514]

Lucky YOU! sounds like a lot with your partner and sewing pals.

[@maryhudakbaylis]

yah!

[@ThePinkPantha21]

This is what I like, connecting over shared interests and letting that be all.

[@susansunflower]

It's good to keep some things to yourself. There is no need to confide in a "friend". I'm just learning this now in my later years.

[@laurahillauthor]

I agree, an older me understands that a younger me, not so much

[@lorihoop3831]

I only share good things now, new rule for me as a former, chronic over sharer

[@deborahcurtis1385]

Yes but sometimes you just need to talk it out and process it. There are people out there who are decent but many are not.

[@kld70]

@@deborahcurtis1385I agree with your comment. Having another validate you sometimes makes it feel okay to be different. Or they can help you see blind spots and areas for growth. But with kindness. Friends are both challenging and encouraging. I think we all need those things for our development.

[@deborahcurtis1385]

@@kld70 Thank you. I also think it's misleading to say she has no best friend, since she clearly has a husband who fills that role. It's very dangerous to assume that loneliness is necessarily safe for everyone. It may be for some but we all need to be affirmed and loved even if it's within the boundaries of friendship. If you function in a decreasing circle and become increasingly suspicious of everyone, then the circle becomes a spiral and then one day a thought will come to you: what if I end it? This is dangerous stuff. Our brains are like computers and they're always looking for solutions. If you have no support those solutions can become dangerous. If anyone has thoughts like that call a life line support and talk it out. ❤‍🩹❤

[@cherylvisconti]

I love getting advice from older women that I do not know. I’m glad I found your channel! Thank you!

[@laurahillauthor]

You are so welcome!

[@taniabluebell3099]

Thanks for your wisdom. I’m in my early 40s. I haven’t had a best friend since my 20s. I confess it was difficult finding friends during my 30s since most of my peers were married with children and I was not. I decided a few years ago that I was no longer interested in having a best friend. My partner is my best friend. I’m only vulnerable with him. I put my trust too much into my sister during my 20s and 30s. I considered her my best friend. I ignored red flags and dismissed her hot and cold behavior. I sadly learned she shared all of our intimate conversations with our mother. I do not have a close relationship with my mother. When I discovered this I was so hurt and betrayed. It’s not just friends who betray can betray us, sometimes it can be a sibling who uses us to be a double agent with an abusive parent.

[@laurahillauthor]

Thanks for sharing. I think a lot of women can relate

[@ideaWorld403]

I'm so sorry about your sisters betrayals. I can relate to this. Early 40s too and estranged from an unstable sister who I love but could never trust, and after being burnt too many times I decided to walk away from her. My daughter is often complains she has two brothers but no sister to be 'best friends' with, but I've gently told her that sometimes sisters aren't who you hoped they would be and life may be easier without them. Better to be able to choose your sisters if valuable women cross your path in this life.

[@martina21953]

My only two close living relatives are my aunt and my sister. Well, they bullied me one last time so I had to cut them off after I told them why. These two had bullied me my entire life but there was no such thing as "bullying" in those days. I have informed my son to send my sister a post card when I die stating, "I'm sorry that my death wasn't on your agenda" which was her reason for not visiting me on her way back home from visiting my aunt. It hurts but they can both go to hell as far as I'm concerned.

[@joo2596]

Sorry to hear about your experience. I'm in a similar situation. My husband is also my best friend and we don't have children. The relationship with my sister isn't a healthy one. She complains about our family a lot, while also being quick to update them whenever we have a disagreement. She gets upset with people if they don't take sides. I look back over my life and wonder if she's been creating unnecessary tension between all of us. These relationships are difficult with how they involve other family members.

[@gloriasaliba3395]

Same the most painful betrayal was my sister

[@merriepine5213]

I've read many of the comments and want to thank everyone for sharing. I used to think something was wrong with me because a relationship turned rocky or failed. Now I can see many others have the same experiences. I guess broken hearts are universal.

[@laurahillauthor]

The comments have been so helpful!! Thank you for sharing also

[@juliathompson2747]

Ditto!

[@lmc2375]

People: Be your own best friend, period!

[@rositayoung2725]

I had a family member that truly convinced me that she loved me as much as I loved her.We came up together like we were "Twins". We were a year apart so the family treated us like twins.Even into adulthood. We were still close. Now, we are old and I found out she was telling my business, all over town! She told me out her mouth, she hated me! I thought sometimes, she was jealous but I thought she loved me. We are family but I will NEVER trust her again. Thank you

[@M_SC]

Awful

[@trishalee3198]

A family member has become her mother. Her mother, my deceased brother's ex-wife is a materialistic gossip, always thinking she is better than me since they got married in 1965 when she got pregnant at age 15, and yet my brother married her and supported her very well for 18 years. The greedy mother destroyed my brother in their divorce, taking everything and leaving my brother nothing. This mother lied to an aunt of my brother and I (not Her's), telling lies about ME trying to get me out of my grandmother's will so they would get more. That did not happen. This evil woman even brought up that MY Grandmother's silver was supposed to go to THEM...when they were divorced in 1985, and this was 2019. Since Covid, this (my only remaining family) is further fractured. I am ok as now I don't care and will no longer be giving them and their children gifts ever birthday and Christmas. If only I could say all of this out loud, about their evil mother spreading her venom to my niece & nephew, when she was always bitching their entire marriage, but that has to be my secrete to the grave.

[@thebusybees2006]

😢

[@tamlynn786]

I have a 1st cousin like that. She’s jealous and back stabbing. Always talking crap about me to other family members. I avoid her like the plague.

[@gurubhaikhalsa9337]

I'm so sorry, what an awful thing to experience. She's obviously not in her right mind. Something inside of her got twisted beyond repair. Don't take it on, please, you are still the same person. She's not.

[@marjoriebennett8443]

the closest friend (it seems) can hurt you the most.

[@adrianajimenez4342]

Yes

[@Stumpybear7640]

That is the price of love ❤

[@roses.trees.ocean.sky.90]

🙏🏼💗🙏🏼

[@marjoriebennett8443]

@@roses.trees.ocean.sky.90 thankyou.

[@TimesUp8888]

​@@Stumpybear7640 Too dang high.

[@50angeleyes]

I had friends when I was younger but not really anymore and I thought there was something wrong with me because of that but this has made me feel that it’s ok. I like dogs much more than people these days

[@laurahillauthor]

I agree on the dogs❤

[@pk-us3fc]

Oh my gosh! I'm in exactly the same space. I have often wondered if anyone else experienced this. Thanks for sharing your experience ❤

[@alomaalber6514]

your perception of life at AARP age is not unusual, thanks for sharing.

[@thevictorianedge5465]

I love my dogs a lot more than most people ❤❤

[@jeannewton1706]

I love dogs more too

[@Lee73Lee]

I'm 51, never married, no kids, live alone. I used to pour a lot of energy into my friendships for most of my life. Once COVID happened, and I saw that people bubbled off into their COVID bubbles and didn't include me, I realized that I could only depend on myself. Now that we're passed that weird time in our lives, and people have wanted to reconnect, I have become more cautious about who I let back in and spend my precious time with since I saw that in the hard moments, they weren't there for me when it mattered. Like you said, everyone has their priorities of immediate family, spouses, and kids. I prioritize myself now and don't bend over backwards for them as I once did. I view most friends as acquaintances now and have lower expectations of them. Nice to see them once in a blue moon to socialize, but that's the extent of it for me now. Most don't know my heart, and the ones that do are 25+ year friendships and the ones who truly matter.

[@laurahillauthor]

Thanks for sharing this!

[@genxx2724]

My neighbors two doors down in our 8-unit condo building used to invite me to their New Year’s Eve party. But during the pandemic shut down, they didn’t check on me one single time or ask what they could pick up for me when they made a foray to the store. They are not friends.

[@Lee73Lee]

@@genxx2724 Covid times definitely put things into perspective on who true friends are. Hopefully you’ve found better friends 💕

[@laurapicht]

boy this laura in Ks has lots in common w/laura in texas❣️. i’m an air force brat moved lots..run my own hair style studio ( been at it for 46 yrs ) went thru a divorce very young…early on, lots of financial struggles.. ( no family in my state to help or rely on🥹)remarried 11&1/2 yrs later , ( that’s all going good 29 yrs later) just turned 66… learning/tryin to navigate friendships…. and my position/ purpose in life ..( i have 2 grown children w/5 grands… but they live in 2 other states …), …ya know…the whole 9 yards! in talking & questioning ppl…this time of life can have similarities and vast differences… thx for this video…

[@alomaalber6514]

it is of interest all the changes that medical crisis springboarded. People liked being at home again after a generation!

[@hughbramlett7689]

The other day I realized that I never really had any friends. I had dozens of acquaintances who layed in wait to take advantage of me or took the first opportunity to hurt me. I'm trying to work through that. Extended family is no better. They don't even talk to me unless they want something.

[@laurahillauthor]

Keep looking!!!

[@alomaalber6514]

I had some real friends but time changes people. Also medical crisis in caring for family I learned who shows up, it is not who you think it will be sometimes!

[@frederickrapp5396]

There was a woman that I wanted and tried to be “friends” with. I showed her much affection, and many gestures of friendship. But she just wanted to keep me as an “acquaintance,” and treated me as such. It broke my heart, but as Hemingway wrote: “Life breaks us all.” A relationship never works unless you are both on the same page with how you see each other. If you see her as a “friend,” and she sees you as an “acquaintance,” it just does not work. She left me no choice but to emotionally detach myself from her and walk away. For me, it was sad, but for her, I could see that she just didn’t care. “The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference.”

[@Bambotb]

The elites are totally right about being cynical to the masses they are pure evil

[@nana2five790]

I’m an Empath- narcissists are drawn to empaths. I care deeply. I feel deeply. World is not full of many true empaths. It’s exhausting. Every woman I thought was a true friend only “used “ me. All is fine as along as it’s all about them. They don’t really care about what’s happening in my life or how I’m doing. I learned that we go thru seasons with friends. Some will stay 8n your life- most come and then go. I’m happy I have my sister!

[@artbygilik]

I’m a very empathic person and I’ve had bad experiences with narcissists men and women. They ruined my trust in people and drained me.

[@beachbreath2504]

Same

[@cocogomez2278]

I am my own best friend

[@laurahillauthor]

Absolutely first and foremost

[@Nwladylaura369]

My dog is my BFF!

[@veniqe]

❤

[@alomaalber6514]

Well said there is a book entitled "How to Be Your Own Best Friend".

[@biba350]

I'v never had many friends even as kid now as mature woman I'v no friends I actually thought I was strange person not having no friends I'v my grown up sons who have their own lives that I see occasionally now also single I'v 2 cats I suppose that's it now doesn't bother me as much now then it did about 20 years ago anyway that's my rant But I'm still open to friends maybe one day 🧡

[@sunsetatshabooms4558]

I would say don't do this with anyone... even family. I've learned the older I get, just to keep my mouth shut. I vent to my journal. No one wants to hear it or what happens most with me is, they twist what I say or just don't understand me in general. I'm learning to be ok with that.

[@laurahillauthor]

Me too! Thanks so much for sharing

[@aniam.9996]

Yes, journaling is great 😊

[@HopeLaFleur1975]

I agree. ☝️ best to keep quiet

[@MsArtistwannabe]

I do this too. I journal in white gel pen and I can write whatever I want and no one can read it.

[@DorenesFoodPrepResource]

@@MsArtistwannabe I like that.

[@fernemcallister6774]

Betrayal hurts, especially when deliberately done. Wishing you peace.

[@roses.trees.ocean.sky.90]

Yes, it's the intentionality and deliberate action. Wishing Peace to You too. 🙏🏼💗 🎉

[@Cindy-bee]

I just found your channel and am enjoying it. I had a friend since age 13. We did everything together as kids and teens. We grew apart as young adults for a few years but got back together in our twenties. We both married and were in each other's wedding parties. I married once, she married 3 times. I was there for all the heartaches and ups and downs throughout our lives. We were there for kids births etc. We saw or spoke daily for many years. Then I was diagnosed with cancer at age 38. My marriage fell apart soon after and she had an affair with my husband. (her husband number 3), So a 30 year close friendship and the ultimate betrayal from both of them. It took a very long time to heal from that. I am now 70 single, kids grown with kids and have friends but none that close again. It's hard to trust anyone with deepest thoughts again after that.

[@ljones98391]

@Cindy-bee. That is tragic. Thank you for sharing as I have experienced similar.

[@Cindy-bee]

@@ljones98391 So sorry to hear. I think it is not uncommon unfortunately.

[@laurahillauthor]

Wow what an experience. I can understand your lack of trust. Sounds like you have a great attitude

[@weekendatbernies2265]

WOW...

[@NehaSharma-777]

Wowwwww

[@sapphire22011]

" Who betrays you once will betray you a thousand times. There is no need to drink the whole sea to realise it is salty".

[@alomaalber6514]

If you are tending to elderly relatives you find who shows up to help and who does not.

[@dale9724]

Yes. Thank you Janet Mader. You were a saint in 1982, 1983, 1984. Hope you can see this from heaven.

[@DoodlebugsDream]

@@dale9724 God bless you both

[@roses.trees.ocean.sky.90]

🙏🏼💗🙏🏼 Imagine many could reply it's *Usually* me, myself and and I. Hope there is someone there for you. If not, Prayers, Nature and Animals, along with your own Inner Strength and Resilience may be just as likely 🙏🏼💗🙏🏼 Take Care. 🙏🏼💗🙏🏼

[@maryl8753]

Or indeed when you become a carer for anyone whose care really takes over your life. Both myself and my husband totally " dumped" because they could no longer get from us what they used to. Very very painful when you've done so much for people and then no one is around to help when you need the support the most

[@laurahillauthor]

Boy don’t you!

[@lisaschmidt8466]

My journaling gets my emotions out. I don’t feel the need to confide in a girlfriend anymore. I too have been betrayed.

[@laurahillauthor]

Journaling is wonderful!

[@alomaalber6514]

Julia Cameron's Artist's Way is great or any journaling technique.

[@Shirley61581]

Journaling and prayer are the best therapy.

[@mcleanroom7997]

Amen!

[@hedylemorgue]

Seriously?? This is the channel I’ve been looking for. I feel like these subjects are all the things no one talks about but everyone needs to. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I’ve been checking out several of your videos. Keep making more!!! ❤

[@laurahillauthor]

Thanks for commenting and glad you found the channel

[@bethmartof1262]

To me a good friend is someone who would NEVER say anything bad about you or put you down, either behind your back or to your face and is always supportive. I am lucky to have had 2 such friends in my life, who have since passed. To me, they were worth more than a million $$$$. Some others, I thought were my friends, talked about me behind my back and some were narcissists who never asked me about myself, but who I listened to and cared about. I have often wondered about our society where it seems that loyalty is forgotten and where some people don’t seem to realize that they are narcissists. Being and having good friend is golden. Don’t ever take one for granted. 😊

[@laurahillauthor]

Great outlook. Thanks for commenting

[@cb1623]

Behind your back, never. But unless you can sometimes bring up an issue to air out a misunderstandings or express hurt feelings, it's not a true friendship.

[@carlsenlifeafter60carlsen11]

My mother always used to say to me if you have one good friend in life, you’re lucky. I don’t have any good friends anymore because I gave and gave and gave and got nothing in return. Now it’s just my husband and I retired with our dogs and I’m happy with that. I no longer try to please people.

[@laurahillauthor]

Aren’t dogs the best. All that matters is being happy with our choices❤️

[@thebelissima64]

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. I have been an over giver all my life and a magnet for takers. It took such a toll on my mental health and self esteem that my husband told me to do psychotherapy. So I did and it has helped me a lot. On the advice of my therapist I got rid of a whole bunch of so called 'friends' and I feel so much better. Now I am more selective to whom I am generous to. I used to talk openly about my life and I had to stop. Too many jealous women (including my own sister) who envied my marriage and my achievements.

[@rosiep7642]

Well said. Just because they're "family" doesn't mean they're good for you. I realized almost 20 years ago that I just simply didn't like the kind of person my sister was. She lives a half a continent away, and our older family members are now all gone, so I never again have to interact with her.

[@akferren1]

I don’t have any friends on purpose.. No family either.. my dog is my bff

[@laurahillauthor]

I have 4 dogs lol guess you heard the one barking in the video. Dogs are angels

[@Ana-n8y1c]

Dogs make the best friends

[@mtnwalkingdogwoman]

Amen

[@3mexhuas]

@@laurahillauthor Dogs never betray you, ever! People do it on a regular basis to each other.

[@ebierekoroye2327]

Oh dear. Please find a few human friends, eh?

[@toomylight2311]

News flash !! Everyone can resonate with your story . Everyone

[@sundari555-f2g]

Have no expectations. Everything is impermanent. Dogs give you unconditional love, they never ask you for money, they are always happy to see you and they will never make you feel bad. They are pure. You can’t say that about adults or children 🐾🧿

[@laurahillauthor]

I have 4 and love them dearly❤️

[@mtnwalkingdogwoman]

Amen!

[@SIERRATREES]

Completely agree. Even crossing paths with light acquaintances can give nice moments. I've found jealousy and its accompanying behavior to be a difficult thing to deal with

[@Bambotb]

Facts

[@juliathompson2747]

how absolutely true

[@FWM50]

We always say “two people can keep a secret , if one of them is dead”

[@kisslena]

That’s a lyric from “Secret” by The Pierces. Creepy little song that was in a “Dexter” commercial that gave me anxiety. 😂

[@jugeebean]

As the saying goes....everyone has that one person they feel safe sharing a secret wirh...and THAT person has one they share it with....THAT one person has a certain peron....etc.....till many ppl are privy to that one secret.

[@dellahayden5606]

You are absolutely correct 👍!!!

[@laurahillauthor]

Sooooo true

[@gdsd80]

Like the song 🎵 goes

[@debishaw9355]

I just lost a best friend on Thursday from cancer. I knew her for 60 plus years… I am sad till I meet her again!

[@tracymorgan5386]

I’m so sorry. My deepest condolences 💐 😢

[@dgs8011]

I'm so very sorry. What a huge loss.

[@junetidd7719]

So sorry for your loss. I , too, lost my friend of 60+ years earlier this month. It’s a loss but like you, I know we will meet again which is a blessing despite missing her now.

[@laurahillauthor]

I am so sorry for your profound loss. My dear friend and college roommate is battling right now. She was so fortunate to have you in her life

[@junetidd7719]

@@laurahillauthor Thank you for your kind words!

[@annberlin5811]

I told my good friend that i had a serious illness all she said is " that sucks". I pretty much hung up the phone. Dont need a friend that bad

[@laurahillauthor]

Oh I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how that hurt. Hope you are doing okay

[@Hibiscus123]

I hope you recover. Sending healing prayers.

[@annberlin5811]

@@Hibiscus123 thank you. I had whopping cough. Almost there!

[@annberlin5811]

@@DaisyDay.-pm2cf no i didnt i dont need crappy friends. Im worrh more. Sad how little you expect. Why world is in a state. I give 100%.

[@moonhunter9993]

Yup, a person I considered a good friend called me after almost a year of no contact (I had stopped initiating contact due to her not reciprocating). She called because she was feeling lonely. When I said I had a spinal injury and was trying not to end up in a wheelchair, she didn't say anything, just kept on talking about herself. I did call her out on it. But it's over.

[@qmtcop]

My mom was my confidant and best friend. She knew my heart and we trusted each other now she is gone and I will never be the same.

[@laurahillauthor]

I’m so sorry💔how fortunate and blessed you were to have that kind of relationship with your mom❤️

[@renmuffett]

Mine too. Irreplaceable. 😢

[@sempervigilans1]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent you love deeply is so shattering…one cannot understand this until they walk through it…it does change us😔…Hugs of compassion to you…

[@SharonBlack-c1r]

found this scrolling through on a lazy Sunday afternoon pic. I love it. It totally makes sense to me and I relate to it 100%. It actually gives me a lot of peace and I’m smiling as I write this. It’s also true about friendship. I’m introvertand I love my alone time actually can only be around people for so long. I love this channel. Thanks.

[@laurahillauthor]

Im so glad you found the channel, welcome!!

[@martina21953]

I'm 71 years old and my best friend of over 40 years is dying. I don't know what I'll do without her. We've been there for each other through thick and thin. I have a couple of other women friends but it's really hard losing someone you love after all that time.

[@saltygirln3236]

😢❤

[@laurahillauthor]

Oh I’m so sorry. How blessed she is to have you by her side. Being there for her is the most incredible gift.

[@ONOC4]

I'm sorry 😢🙏🏼

[@sweetbeep]

Look into natural remedies. I can't say the CU** word. Doctors don't know how to heal!

[@debrapresley7967]

I'm so sorry you're losing your dear friend but how fortunate to have a friend so dear for you both. Prayers to you and your friend. ❤❤

[@elizabethallen4353]

Wow this is relatable. I was burned about 18 months ago - we moved across the country and I became very good friends very quickly with a neighbor. I was lonely and accepted things about her that I shouldn't have. And offered all kinds of support, help, a listening ear etc etc. Well. My turn came and she turned on me too. It sucks and I guess the lesson is - at our age, keep it casual! More casual, pleasant interactions are better than one person taking all the focus.

[@laurahillauthor]

I agree! Thanks for sharing

[@ExitLight]

I learned in my early 20’s to NEVER share a secret with a woman friend. I was burned by two close friends who used my secrets against me. I never fully trusted again. I have had a couple of best friends since but they couldn’t tell you one thing about me that was deeper than just surface stuff while they told me all their secrets and I am a really good friend. I would never tell a secret to expose or intentionally hurt someone. I haven’t found very many friends who are the same. I prefer to not have close friends. I’ve been very shaken by what people will do and say if there’s even a minor disagreement. One of my friends shared all over our small town something VERY personal and life altering that happened to my 14 yr old daughter. I decided then that I will never trust anyone again.

[@socol76]

We share difficulties because we want to believe that they are genuine friends. It’s best to share with a sibling if you have one or two you can trust or a parent if you have healthy relationships with them.

[@ExitLight]

@@socol76 I don’t have siblings that are in my life ( prison) and my parents have passed. I wish I had a sister. That would have been great.

[@laurahillauthor]

The betrayal of a confidence is so ugly. It speaks volumes about the person who does it

[@patriciam.1204]

I would have loved to have a sister too😢

[@BrendaBaBoom]

Information is power …. non-disclosure is a superpower. 🧐

[@Radiancegrace]

Thank you for creating this content. It’s eye opening to see how alone people can be. A woman of solitude by choice, I still would enjoy authentic intimacy with another yet haven’t found many that desire to go beyond the surface level. My mighty companion/beloved dog 14 yrs of age passed three weeks ago and I know a level of pain and loneliness, at present, I hadn’t been experiencing before 🙏🏻

[@thepragmatist]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[@Radiancegrace]

@@thepragmatist 🙏🏻

[@roses.trees.ocean.sky.90]

I'm So Very Sorry for the loss of your Beloved dog. 💗💗💗💗💗 Animals are so Unconditionally loving and the Best, Beautiful friends.🥰 May Your Cherished Memories Warm Your Heart during times of sorrow and sadness. Take Care. 🙏🏼💗 🦋 😇🐕😇

[@Radiancegrace]

@@roses.trees.ocean.sky.90 Thank you for your kind words/sentiment. A gentle giant, her name was Grace and my mightiest of companions. I can feel the hole in my soul and praying God fills it with its Grace and mercy while I find my way without her at my side -deeply appreciative of your post🙏🏻

[@chickenmama4384]

I’m so very sorry on the loss of your 14 year old companion. Hugs. Dogs are such loyal best friend. My heart goes out to you.

[@helenruth5024]

I am amazed that as I have aged how deep friendships have faded . I am cautious to form those ties now. I desire more solitude, less drama.

[@laurahillauthor]

Less drama…..amen!

[@catlyn777]

If you have had a long habit of living through other people, getting all your needs met by them, you will struggle with being alone. Loneliness is very different from being alone. I love being alone now but it’s something I learned to love.

[@traceyconner6095]

I didn't realize I was living through someone else's life, but I was and was very hurt when they stepped back, i am trying to expand my circle that I can have a good afternoon with. My Girls Trip last week showed me what I needed to learn.

[@laurahillauthor]

Thanks wise words

[@infernafirestein]

I took this view a very long time ago. I’m 67, and have had enough people turn on me. It’s made me very wary of trusting anyone that much again. I have some friends that I hang out with, but on my terms. I don’t let them get super close. I’m happier this way. Thanks, Laura, for your videos. I really enjoy them. Cheers from Canada.

[@Chrisgraww]

Hello 👋Beautiful Lasy 🌹. I am from Beverly hills Ca. How are you and the weather condition likw

[@laurahillauthor]

Thanks for sharing! My favorite place in the whole world is in Canada, BC Tofino on Vancouver Island. We try to go once a year

[@Done832]

You hit the nail on the head. Don't value any one friend too much. Even if you think it won't happen, they will use everything you've ever told them against you at some point. I also will never have a Best Friend again. I trust men more than women. Women can be very shallow and jealous. It speaks more about them than about you.

[@laurahillauthor]

Thanks for sharing

[@Chocolatte1001]

Laura, your thoughts really resonate with me. I’ve had friends who I thought would be forever. I invested time and my heart only to have it broken. I like your idea about groups - book clubs, volunteerism, etc. One thing I do miss about a best friend, though, is sharing a sense of humor - that special feeling where we really get each other.

[@laurahillauthor]

There’s hope! I have a group of three women who I do ‘lunch’ with once every two months and all we do is laugh. Sometimes when there isn’t the pressure to be constant companions you find yourself so much more relaxed. That’s when I enjoy myself the most

[@annabelsmart5305]

You WILL find out who your friends and family are if you ever become seriously unwell. It’s a profound shocker. Just remember when you recover in spite of the grief and disappointment , life becomes ever better and more amazing ❤. Just found your channel @Laura Hill and you seem to embody this. Thanks for your wisdom to stay light-hearted.

[@laurahillauthor]

Glad you found the channel. Welcome!

[@marjoriemurray4381]

Narcissist are chameleons and yes, they do store up all your secrets to use against you

[@artbygilik]

That has been my experience. Unfortunately I dealt with several, especially over the past 8 years. Now I’m jaded and watch for any red flags right away when I meet new people and I mostly keep to myself.

[@Bambotb]

95% of people are

[@lola.lola11.11]

I heard a woman say on instagram: "I don't keep women around me". And it resonated so much. Women are malicious. Envious. Jealous. Some of us are better than the others and try and improve ourselves. But the majority is petty and will throw you under the bus without a second thought. Keep to yourself and keep your business to yourself. That is what I am trying to do for myself.

[@ThePinkPantha21]

Yes. I don't think most women really care about one another in our society. That's why most of us are raising children in isolation and going through life milestones without expectations of support. The idea of village has dissolved. I wish I had good women friends but honestly I don't think it will be.

[@lola.lola11.11]

​@@ThePinkPantha21Yup, I so agree with you.

[@JeffButterworth-bm8gj]

I had such a good mom and wife I thought all women were like that. Now that they're gone I find women to be just as much of sinners as me. And I'm not too happy with just my company either.

[@ginamarie6664]

I’m “only” 48, but just subscribed. Have sadly had this experience where it turns out the other person doesn’t value my friendship as much as I thought. Not a great feeling. But I think you’re right about not putting everything on one person.

[@laurahillauthor]

Sometimes we give others too much power

[@ceciliamalcolm8732]

I'm still new at this and two friends of mine from early childhood have both drafted and I'm so sad and feel so alone. Feel so abandoned. We're all in our 80's now. Hole in my heart. Thanks for listening

[@laurahillauthor]

I’m so sorry!

[@alomaalber6514]

You are not the only one. Our library system has free lectures and classes. Also the senior center or church may have a lunch.

[@repent6238]

Jesus can fill that hole in your heart, Ask Jesus To Save You 🙏

[@teresafraser3049]

Ever since my childhood I knew deep within me that "best friend" is not healthy. I never followed groups "cliques" throughout my entire life and I'm now 60. I would be made fun of because I didn't follow the narrative which essentially saved me from heartache so instead whenever someone I knew had their "bestie" betray them it was me that they came to for support. My suggestion has always been.... Follow the beat of your drum instead of giving away your power to others and you'll live a magical existence ✨️ 🙌 People come into our lives to offer us to learn that when we are always loyal to ourselves only then will others be loyal towards you. Give to yourself what you crave others to give to you......this is mastering self love, compassion, and humility 🙏

[@laurahillauthor]

Such valuable wisdom. Thanks!

[@kimberlymorris3520]

For years I mourned a friendship that was lost after a wine-infused argument where years of unsaid things bubbled to the surface. It was emotionally devastating of course but I also struggled with the letting go of the "habit" of our relationship. I would find myself reaching for the phone to share something that had happened during the day, some small insignificant thought or feeling that only she would understand or find interesting, only to remember that we were no longer friends. I was like a trivial version of phantom limb syndrome, where I was always reaching out for a friendship that no longer existed. I too will never have a best friend again.

[@laurahillauthor]

I’m so sorry it really hurts but we come back so much wiser and stronger

[@sarita5572]

I'm in my mid 40's and my only friend is my hubby and of course my family. I'm very happy without friends. People demand too much from you but never reciprocate the same. Many of my supposed friends brought nothing but bad influences and heartache. My most dearest friend from childhood ignored me for 2.5 years...broke my heart but also fixed my vision.

[@laurahillauthor]

Thanks for commenting!

[@user-oz7nw9sq7y]

I’m my own best friend now. 😂

[@judyhalsell9510]

Had a few women I thought were my friends and got used by them. Now I am 76 and have no “ friends”. Got tired of being used .

[@PennyMain-dm4ci]

I just found your channel and enjoyed it and subscribe I am going through a divorce at 68 years old it’s devastating and heartbreaking I don’t know what to do I know I’m not the only one but feel like it you have inspired me just listening to this one post thank you life is hard and when we go through something like this sometimes your friends and family are no longer there I know I will get through this one day at a time with God with me ❤

[@kld70]

Wow. I’m very sorry you are going through that. Divorce is heartbreaking at a young age, let alone in our senior years. Please take good care of yourself. Glad to see you are seeking out advice. When I went through a recent betrayal, I found it encouraging to read the comments and experiences of others. It was encouraging to know I was not alone in trials and troubles. And it helped me be encouraged by those who had found their way to the other side.

[@PennyMain-dm4ci]

@@kld70 Yes thank you so much I would have never thought I would be going through this almost 70 years of age I am still in shock and it’s been a few months it’s heartbreaking so much to think about thank you for your comment 💔

[@laurahillauthor]

So glad you found the channel. You will like the video I just posted today (Sunday). I was divorced in 2003 although I am remarried now I remember the terrible pain.

[@KathyStrickland-nh9vx]

I've had what I thought was a best friend for 56 years. Just now realizing how controlling she needs to be. Always trying to dispute what I say, disagreeing and one upping me--especially when it comes to knowledge. I have seen that I need to get rid of all toxic people in my life.

[@marymartinez1672]

Kathy....a very wise decision to get toxic people out of your life !! I have done the same as you. I'm in my 60's and I am DONE WITH TOXIC PEOPLE !!!

[@jkingston5498]

My husband died when i was 57. I walked around in a fog for a couple of years and when the fog lifted, i met my boyfriend. We both turned 60 and decided that making ourselves happy was a priority. We bought a cabin and that has become my happy place. I know that some of my friends wish i wouldn't spend so much time there and dont see me as often, but i just want to be selfish and think of me for a change and stop worrying about others all the time.

[@laurahillauthor]

What a wonderful place to be in your life. Thanks so much for sharing

[@weekendatbernies2265]

😍😍😍😍

[@Amy-466]

Good for you.. Do what makes you happy :)

[@dirtyace1668]

Well, I understand where you're coming from, but I hope you realize that, based on what you have written, it sounds like you are willingly shutting out your friends in return for being "selfish". Just keep in mind that it's a two way street and if you ever change your mind or things start to sour with your boyfriend, there's absolutely no guarantees that your friends will have any time for you when you need them. Some people pull this kind of stuff and then are shocked that people have moved on and no longer have time for them.

[@truthbetold6942]

I honestly sounds like as soon as you got a new man, you dropped your friends 🧐

[@SKS33Sandra]

The hurt doesn’t end but when you forgive, you remember it less and less. When I remember this woman who did this to me, it’s just s twinge-not of hurt but of regret that I allowed myself to get so close. I was in my twenties. This year I’ll celebrate 60;and the decision I made back then to make God and my family first has never been a cause of regret for me. I loved this video and wish I could give you a hug. She missed out on a wonderful friend.

[@laurahillauthor]

I agree. It was actually strange talking about it because I have moved on and consider it her loss. But feels good to know I cared enough about her at one point in my life that I still feel a tiny bit of hurt

[@weekendatbernies2265]

Thank you for that share! Taking away Gems from each and every one of these!!😍

[@laurahillauthor]

Thanks!

[@DanasGardenRetreat]

It’s strange but I’m 47 and don’t have a huge need for friends …people are just too complicated and turn on you for speaking the truth and self absorbed … rather be in my garden

[@laurahillauthor]

It’s so important to know your own needs, we are all so different Thanks for sharing

[@orborn3580]

My best friend of 50 plus yrs died of Covid 2 1/2 years ago. It has been very difficult for me. I adore my husband (married 40 yrs this month), love my 3 kids and 8 grandkids but the relationship with my best friend was extremely important to me. We could be completely real with each other about every single aspect of our life. I feel adrift. I cannot place a valuation on the quality of our friendship. It was a priceless treasure.

[@laurahillauthor]

You were so blessed to have her in your life and to know that kind of connection. I’m so sorry for your loss

[@malloryjines5050]

I’m sorry you lost your dear friend. You were fortunate indeed to have had a special person like that in your life.

[@LFetterman7903]

I am so, so sorry for your loss. You were both blessed to have had one another.❣️❣️❣️

[@alomaalber6514]

Lucky you to have family.

[@orborn3580]

@@alomaalber6514 yes! I am fortunate for that!

[@clareowen2047]

I’m sure I’ve disappointed people- we all have.

[@L.Fontein7]

True. However there are levels of disappointment - I believe that's what we're plumbing here.

[@frenchappletarte3252]

I really appreciate your openness about your friendship. I thought there was something wrong with me because I had a falling out with my sister-in-law, who I considered a friend. I discovered she was in competition with me and after much agonizing, I had to walk away. It was difficult because she is my husband's sister (and she expected him to side with her.) Thankfully, we have had enough time and space over the years to let things go and be friendly with each other but she really soured me on female friendships

[@laurahillauthor]

Thank you for sharing too. I’m still not able to find any middle ground with this gal. I’m grateful so much time has passed but I’m much more careful these days. And that’s okay too

[@mtnwalkingdogwoman]

I never trusted any of my outlaws , glad you are doing OK !

[@babygrizwold]

I'll never have a best friend again either. One person that I confide in about everything. The one girl that burned me many years ago and I told the story before under another one of the videos, just did me in on the whole best friendship thing. I tried again about 10 years later and when I had to move back home where I'm from, she essentially said okay the Friendship is over. I was stunned actually. I wish women would be nicer to one another because we all go through the same things in life such as things that happen to our bodies as we age, our relationships things like that but women mostly tend to be catty and envious of each other. Case in point I made one comment under one of the videos and a total stranger not even knowing me at all came back and said no one wanted to read your long-ass comment. I thought to myself well why don't you just move on then? Why not just not read it and move on to another comment or another video? why was it so necessary for her to say something mean to me? was she having a bad day? Is she just someone that gets off on making others feel bad? I don't know but she proved my point anyways😂😂

[@laurahillauthor]

Oh yes I remember. Don’t worry I told them I read the whole thing!! Some might say a 15 minute video is too long oh well scroll on. Thanks for sharing. I think a lot of women are feeling the same thing. It’s good to have a place to share as we work through difficult topics. Thanks for commenting !!

[@janetjones935]

I thought your comment was interesting. Women especially are so mean and thoughtless. I’m sorry that happened to you.

[@kevinhornbuckle]

There is the sociological problem of sadism. People being mean for no apparent reason. I have experienced being the target many times. But I don’t do that to people. There is too much meanness in the world.

[@babygrizwold]

@kevinhornbuckle I think a lot of people either are having a bad day, or they really truly hate their lives. I think when they are purposely mean to others, it either makes them feel better about their own lives, or they just want to bring others down out of jealously. Of course, there are others that just plain enjoy it 🤷

[@ellenbrown579]

@@kevinhornbucklemy mom would be mean for no reason to folks all the time. She’s gone now but it still baffles me. I was adopted so only way I could make sense of it was DNA since I saw similarities in her bio relatives

[@PatBall-v8q]

I'm 71 and have lived in this small, rural community for almost 40 years. I will probably move into the seniors' complex in a few years. Knowing this, I've been very careful with relationships in this community because I may be eating at the same table as some of them. This is so different from your situation in a larger center. People in my life don't come and go and we all know something of someone else's past (ie. reputation). In all those 40 years, I've never had a best friend but that being said, I've been friendly. My best friend is still my husband and if he should pass, I will be satisfied to have had that one best friend.

[@laurahillauthor]

I think you have been very wise, a rural setting is so much different. I also think acquaintances allow you to have more people in your life for the long term

[@alomaalber6514]

if you can manage it stay in your own small place. Maybe there is a card game and lunch at a free senior center, even with cab fair that is cheaper. the senior apartments are overpriced unless it is a state subsidized one.

[@lulahummingbird664]

My late husband was my best friend. I shall never have another one as no one could equal his qualities. He was pure gold. 💜

[@marieh9627]

@@laurahillauthor

[@vikker8274]

After a decade of caring for my now passed parents, I found myself ghosted by so many. While I love my husband, I am now my own best friend. I work hard at my business then I do what I want. I think it was Thoreau who said that the year he took responsibility for everything in his own life was the year that everything turned around for the better. I will never be a mom or grandma, and I don’t need to do anything to “make up for” that. To be happy I cannot wallow in the misery and drama of anyone’s self made problems (including mine!). That doesn’t mean putting myself above anyone. It’s just a knowing that our time here is very limited. Just made a new business connection and talked with the guy about his business expansion for an hour before he disclosed “oh by the way, I’m blind”…THAT’s the kind of people I can surround myself with. Love your self, yes to dogs and cherish each day!

[@mettamorph4523]

@@vikker8274 love this. valuable insights I can apply to my life.

[@laurahillauthor]

Love this advice, thanks for sharing

[@mtnwalkingdogwoman]

Yes to dogs !!! and cherish each day. Thank you for your wonderful message , Oh and Love yourself.

[@sandrajohnson-k8m]

The wisdom of age. It’s the best part of aging. I appreciate your honesty.

[@laurahillauthor]

It’s taken a while, thanks!

[@vixxcottage]

Going through major life changes affects us in different ways. I had cancer 20 years ago and learned valuable lessons. I was always the strong one. Again 20 years later major surgeries and learned again how fickle many people 🙄 become. I find people exhaust me currently. I have been hurt 😞 several times over past 5 years. I am much stronger now but very selective in who I am friends with. As far as deep secrets no one knows these. Privacy is important to me.

[@laurahillauthor]

One of my dearest friends is going through chemo right now, she and I have been talking a lot about how serious illness shows you who your true friends are and yes how fickle some are. Thanks for sharing.

[@crimson25543]

I've been betrayed throughout my life, one of the worst was when I was 14 yrs old, by a second cousin who I considered my best friend. I ghosted her after what she did to me, it was unforgivable, and we didn't speak for 20 yrs. She got back in touch eventually, and I allowed it, but I certainly never trusted her again, we were never the same as we used to be, and while we're still in touch now, it's really only occasionally. My mother & aunt have bullied me since I was a child, and I'm convinced that created the foundation of my future struggles with friends, trust, selecting good people vs the wrong people, etc. I could write a book, there's been so much loss.

[@laurahillauthor]

Bullying does so much damage. It’s beyond awful

[@hairismygame7320]

I really need to hear this and thank you. I finally had to end a 30 year relationship with my so-called best friend at one time she was the last 14 years she was not as it used to be. I kept it going not really wanting to, but because I felt I needed to. but I finally realize it needed to come to an end. It was sad for me. Not sure how she feels. I’m sure she feels totally different, blike I rejected her, but it’s always about her anymore and I can’t do that sometimes it’s about me and I needed somebody to be there for me which she was not anyway thank you for this video. I appreciate it.

[@laurahillauthor]

It’s brave to finally say enough, we can’t be truly happy when we keep accepting the status quo for the sake of accepting the status quo. Thanks for sharing

[@drbettyschueler3235]

My BFF, of almost 50 years, dumped me this year. During our "friendship," anything I told her was likely to be shared with others so I was careful about what information I shared. Next to my late husband, she was the person who meant the most to me despite her gossiping about me. Now that I'm 80, and passed my expiration date, I have made no efforts to replace my BFF. Despite having stage 4 cancer, I hope to live many more years, but I'll have to be content with close acquaintances and extended family.

[@laurahillauthor]

Thanks for sharing and all the best with your cancer fight 🥊🥊

[@BrendaBaBoom]

Continued blessings to you.

[@shelleycharlesworth5177]

I had 3 close friends in high school…in college I became friends with my 2nd roommate. When I began teaching I developed another couple of close teacher friends. The high school friends drifted away. The college roommate became depressed after a car accident left her back injured..she killed herself. The work friends-one I was especially close to- was 15 years older -and 10 years ago she developed dementia and she now doesn’t recognize me. I am 76. I lost my husband of 40 years 10 years ago. He was my BEST friend and no matter what disappointment I was dealing with with friends, it was all ok because I had HIM!! So since losing him, my life is vastly different. Life is a series of losses and everything is always changing every single minute. NOTHING stays the same for evermore. Hubby and I never had children so of course I have no grandchildren. I made 2 widow friends in a bereavement group. One was a disappointment rather quickly… and the other is not a close friend-she is someone I see for coffee or lunch 3-4 times a year. I volunteer and take classes. I exercise and try to keep positive as I get older and lose people.

[@laurahillauthor]

I’m so sorry for your losses, especially your husband. I think the key is to find things you enjoy doing and that is where you will meet people even if they are just casual acquaintances they can be positive human interactions. That’s what is important

[@ljones98391]

@@user-jh7cq3ct6u I also enjoy the near death experience videos. Thru them I have been able to formulate for the first time my vision of a God I can relate to. I also find hope and more of a sense of purpose through them. Thank you for sharing.

[@PatBall-v8q]

Always learning - always helping and giving - these are the seniors we need so desperately now. Your example to others is a gift.

[@AdrienneMint]

@@user-jh7cq3ct6ui worry about leaving my fur babies alone if i die before them. So i made a new will last year. In it, i left my babies to my older brother, and he gets my co op apartment with the agreement that he takes any pets i have. In case he dies before me, then my younger brother gets my fur babies and everything else that i have. This is a great load off my mind. They will be taken care of, if i die before them.

[@DesertLifeCooks]

Hugs to you 🤗❤ I love that you try to keep positive and exercise. Everything is changing but you have a great mindset with everything🥰

[@brianroylance5632]

I’m 82 and have had wonderful friendships right through my life. Church friends being the closest. I’m very grateful.

[@MelaniaT-r6m]

You are really blessed.

[@cr3062]

Learning about toxic traits and personality disorders really exposed everyone in my life past and present. I can spot toxic traits and know how to navigate around them. I don't put too much stock in leaning on my friend. We're both in our 60s now. Once you get thru marriage, divorce struggles, kids, no kids, jobs etc...life finally has slowed down alittle...and our perspective and wisdom is finally here. I do hope you give yourself some closure and forgive your "friend." It's very freeing to you both moving forward.

[@marilyndietzman-vx5ts]

Dear Laura, you are such a lovely lady! Facts be you are a lovely person. Well wishes to a smart proud lady.❤❤

[@laurahillauthor]

Thank you so much!

[@christineanne7834]

Im 60 & resonate with everyone here.. I've decided to regard those earlier friendships as a reflection of where I was , at the time. As years went by I focused on raising my vibration & working on myself, while realizing my Empath gifts in mid-life. Now we don't mix very well not because they changed- but because I did❤

[@ShmittyQ]

Jesus is my best friend

[@Plethorality]

Him and my dog.

[@Wifey01]

Period!

[@meinungabundance7696]

oh, just stop that.

[@theresaiaizzo9703]

Jesus is all I need and want

[@mercy2084]

I am so sick of people saying that "Jesus" or "The Lord" is their friend ! ! ! Can Jesus go shopping with you ... for food or anything else that you need ? Can Jesus pick you up from the hospital after you had surgery ? Can Jesus offer you a place to stay, if you have no place to go ? You can say Grace and thank Jesus for your food, but you shopped for it, and you paid for it, and you cooked it, and you cleaned your own mess ... Try praying to Jesus if you don't have money for food ... Try to tell the cashier at the supermarket that your Best Friend Jesus can pay ... Then watch the manager escort you out.