I Wouldn't Have Minded But... | David Mitchell's Soapbox

David Mitchell wouldn't have minded but...
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ABOUT DAVID MITCHELL'S SOAPBOX:
David Mitchell, star of UK TV favourites Peep Show and That Mitchell and Webb Look, brings us his unique perspective on the issues facing men of the world today.

[@mandydax]

"I wouldn't have minded, but then she put a mesh cage thing on my head and poured bees into it. They got into my eyes. That's what really stung."

[@SacredDaturaa]

"Not the bees!!"

[@paulbeardsley4095]

I wouldn't have minded but I genuinely can't remember what the past form of "sting" is. Is it stung or stang or stinged?

[@cheydinal5401]

NOT THE BEES!

[@T_TMan]

@@paulbeardsley4095 Stung

[@Cheeseanonioncrisps]

Small tame sharks that ignored you might actually be worse than big ones that tried to eat you. It's a special kind of embarrassing to have your SO break up with you and throw you to some sharks- who then also decide that you're not really worth bothering about.

[@246schoolgal246]

Cheeseanonioncrisps 😂😂

[@Tesana]

What mean'st thou by 'SO'? All I can think of at the moment is the conjunction.

[@Tesana]

OOOH! I get it, thou meant 'significant other'. I would have used periods to denote that it was an abbreviation so as to avoid ambiguity. Id est, I'd write 's.o.' as the abbreviation.

[@jackasmaracas4362]

@@Tesana Just say the word you and stop being a pretentious twat.

[@Bullshit_Media]

@@jackasmaracas4362 It wasnt him but i agree! Are people so lazy they cannot finish a word? Whats the point, causes only confusion and or irritation...

[@REBELLIC1OUS]

Every time I watch one of these vids, my vocabulary drastically improves

[@DieFlabbergast]

"dramatically improves" - NOT "drastically" (Look it up: and have a nice day.)

[@yesdcotchin]

DieFlabbergast a quick Google should tell you that 'drastically' could definitely be appropriate here

[@gloriouscontent3538]

You like your mother unfortunately missed a period.

[@stephdux1805]

Glorious Content Bravo.

[@ripdbtpoo1441]

Good!

[@darrenr49]

I love how well he explains things

[@kairigby9117]

I wouldn't have minded whichever way he explained it. But....

[@ots1634]

I think he is neurotic and a massive overthinking pedant who needs a good drink and shag tbh.

[@abbieb8130]

"I wouldn't have minded sitting in a giant cauldron of boiling water, but I was wearing my watch at the time, and now it's completely ruined."

[@TheHuntrees007]

he sure knows how to overthink a topic. i for one love it.

[@TheRealSmacker]

I've thought about this in the context of rejection. Getting rejected by a woman is actually worse when she is very kind and polite about it. Then she basically shows that, not only is she attractive and doesn't want you, she is attractive and lovely and doesn't want you. She also may be thinking you seem like you might not be able to take rejection well. If she laughs and says, "sod off, loser, whatever made you think I'd give a shit?" At least you can despise her and feel moral high ground. :)

[@fieryheadedgirl]

This is one of his best. LOVE it. This writing is genius!

[@gablison]

I also love his rants on "Would I lie to you?"! His banter with Lee Mack!

[@Axisoflords]

I love your vocabulary, exquisite detail to wording, sarcastic humour and intelligent banter.

[@GeonQuuin]

I've been such a huge fan of David but I've never heard about this channel until yesterday. Now I'm just binge watching it.

[@AHotLlama]

I wouldn't have minded the new youtube updates, but the like bar is now blue.

[@CyrusTheFrog]

I wouldn't have minded the new KZbin app update, except that I have to scroll through an obnoxious 20-vid suggestions list on my small screen just to get to the comments.

[@tryingmybest206]

Woah that's a blast from the past

[@illdeletethismusic]

now it is grey colours are gone from corporate youtube

[@alexquin4001]

@@CyrusTheFrog After 6 years thats been rectified, and people were still passed off about it.

[@Aavak]

I wasn't until you mentioned it... but now, yes I am. Thanks :p

[@jabob101]

I definitely did not expect to see you in this comment section, what a coincidence

[@bugsandbrushes]

Ha, I loved this stripe-theory of his so very much that I actually dared to wear my only striped sweater, which has been collecting dust in my closet for the past few years... And guess what, the first thing someone told me was: "you look rather beautiful today" And all that thanks to david ^^

[@DamsonElvira1212]

Palliative outrage - you (and John F) saw this social media trend coming. oh dear you have me hooked, now I am binge watching these videos. Only joking, keep them coming!

[@Stealthypancake101]

theres nothing better than these videos, david is not doubt a fantastic youtuber

[@liamdienemann8937]

A bit like when you said you wouldn't mind the state of the trains if they didn't ask you to attend your luggage?

[@Jsssddfgffghshdhdhusjsjd]

pardon my french but *dayum*

[@Codex7777]

Except that's not what he said... Even if he had, it's comedy, not some logical, philosophical polemic.

[@liamdienemann8937]

@@Codex7777 what I said was comedy, not some logical, philosophical polemic.

[@Codex7777]

@@liamdienemann8937 - You're very obviously nowhere near David's comedic level, if you deign to describe that as 'comedy'... ;)

[@wheway33]

@@Codex7777 This interaction feels unnecessarily mean. The man merely made a facetious comment prodding at Mitchell and his rantings, and then you go on to suggest he's some sort of 'wannabe' comedian who's trying to place himself on a pedestal right next to Mitchell. The word 'comedy' might imply a level of professionalism, but it seems clear to me that he was likely saying 'I was making a facetious comment'. The thing is, it could have been your intent to just be funny for funny's sake with your response (which is a little ironic). The part that made me think this was the playful wink. If however, the wink wasn't an implication of 'JK lol' then its probably just condescension- which just rubs the salt in the wound. I wouldn't have minded, but did you have to add the wink?

[@TebbieBear]

I find that I am reluctant to watch a David Mitchell video on youtube because I often will spend the rest of the day watching other "related" David Mitchell videos. I wouldn't have minded but...

[@K9Negative]

I'm loving the slow creep camera zoom.

[@JoolsyB]

Agreed. The only thing on the BBC better than an episode of QI is an episode of QI that has David Mitchell as a contestant.

[@SuperWinditup]

i can understand Davids soap box being difficult to understand , i am a native English speaker and i have to listen hard to get it all. You probably couldnt have found anything more difficult to watch, but im sure its worth it-hope you enjoy it. I´m a big fan of his work. P.S. i live in your part of the world, E.S.

[@DarkCobra88]

Haha totally true, its nice that people are both morally and intelligently smart with responses and keep a fun smart atmosphere to there replies.

[@jimmyrusslesphd530]

shit icing on the turdy cake ....fucking glorious

[@krashd]

Aren't turdycakes microscopic bears who live in space?

[@SchlumberttheHumble]

Rob Fraser 🅱oi that's Tardigrades™

[@Flepagoon_GSG]

As someone dumped by text...this helps :) It genuinely was helpful of her to let me know that I wasn't ideal for her. Thanks and goodbye I guess.

[@PlasmaMongoose]

2:37 is a great example of Cruel Mercy(-Killing).

[@TheArcher101]

Considering ending something with someone and this pops up....

[@otocan]

This is why I love David Mitchell subscribing KZbinrs.

[@kateSuff]

I feel so childish, but I couldn't help giggling at the bit of hair stuck on David's eyebrow that moved when he raised his eyebrows.

[@InfectedByEli]

"shit icing on the turdy cake", lawl.

[@yourmamganstocollege]

Best one in a while!

[@biskitsam]

I like running my mouse across the video bar to see the previews like it's playing the video really small and fast.

[@Erebos931]

This reminds me of the strange paradox I have both read in books and heard in TV shows: Would you mind if I...? Yeah, go ahead. What do you mean, "yeah"? If you mind, they are not supposed to go ahead.

[@ThePhudD]

Bring on Peep Show 8 !!! Can't wait, can't wait...

[@SamHutchinsonLEGO]

my favourite yet...

[@ambebhavani]

Ah - thanks wazzathebro - appreciate the information, and will be more aware in future. Cheers!

[@smartladdy]

The comments are always so coherent and well written on these videos, as though it's an insult to use poor English when referring to David Mitchell. Probably because it is.

[@HippopotamusPencil]

Though this video more or less was about social and emotional development and how we act in relationships, I just felt it necessary to point out that some of us, such as myself, say "I wouldn't have minded" when we mean there is an important ethical distinction between to actions. For example, I wouldn't have minded, but they intentionally did me an injustice.Or: I wouldn't have minded, but it shows that you demand of me different than you expect me to put up with.

[@noisyneil]

a beautifully worded investigation into utter nonsense. ruddy brilliant!

[@bodo-bing]

1:17 onwards sounds like the plot of literally every SMBC cartoon strip lol

[@nelsonemily4]

I think the best part of this video is the way he says "exotic massage."

[@255ad]

my condolences

[@ugh_dad]

She broke up with me...I wouldn't have minded, but she did it by linking this video with the caption, pick your own salt rub

[@danochy5522]

I wouldn't have minded that you stole my toast, but you also murdered my entire family.

[@KieranMurray93]

Is there anybody else that contemplates how little they have done in the last week when these videos come out every Thursday ?

[@tracesprite6078]

Try keeping a diary. You've probably done more than you realise. Include some of the interesting places you visit online e.g. this KZbin. We tend to be dismissive about the reading we do online.

[@TheGinabur]

"Shit icing on the turdy cake." This excellent phrase will make its way into my lexicon.

[@viscosepowermongrel]

Flann O'Brien wrote a funny article about this same thing in relation to 'the Dublin man'. It's in the book, 'Hair of the Dogma'.

[@Kevin-cm5kc]

Actually that bit at the end pretty much happened to me. I asked a girl out and she was so nice about it that it ironically made the rejection that much more disappointing. Now i can't even say 'bah who needs her! Shes a mean-spirited bitch!'. She's really really nice. *sigh*

[@RealityCheck6T9]

Look on the bright side. You asked a girl out. More than a lot of guys are doing these days.

[@BcroG11]

Every woman that rejected me (and that's every woman I asked out) also did it in the nicest way possible. So all I have left is a feeling that I'm simply inadequate, not that I had the misfortune to stumble onto some particularly nasty women... they were great, I simply am not.

[@junoguten]

"sit there and suffer like a man, and/or woman" and xD

[@Tom_Hadler]

junoguten In 2012 the comment was a joke. In 2020, "man and/or woman" is probably how some people would insist upon being addressed. Mitchell possessed such prescience.

[@GutsnoKen]

Good to know, you live in Espirito Santo? The soap box is actually the easiest to understand him because he only speaks, very straight to the point and have a very good diction so you can look to his lips and guess what he means. Peepshow and QI though, sometimes i have to watch again to put in context and not always i get it.

[@27182818284590452354]

Hmm, this is the first Soapbox video that left that PeepShow-y aftertaste.

[@glenospace]

ouch, david... right in the feels.

[@perfacetus]

I love the fliping of cultural expectation and therefore reaction. It is like when he is talking about slimming stipes on QI.

[@MusicalGold]

I saw you at 'The Unbelievable Truth' you legend!

[@wisteela]

Brilliant.

[@vexphoenix]

I wouldn't have minded a breakup if she hadn't cheated on me first.

[@JesusRocksTryPrayin]

this video was incredibly enduring besides the John Finnemore numbers. Is that his real name? I wouldn't have minded; except I gave up weed and can't fathom watching peep show sober. I might remember every scene

[@MrCliveado]

the best one I have seen

[@procritic09]

I love that you said "man and/or woman".

[@potter11wars]

"The shit icing on the turdy cake". Another Mitchell classic.

[@sushilnash]

you sound like my brain when i'm drunk and trying to sleep.

[@PaddyRoon7]

For anyone else almost having a breakdown because they don't understand the context of this sentence, here's an example conversation. "Here's your food sir, apologies for the delay" "I wouldn't have minded the delay, but this isn't even what I ordered."

[@Paul-A01]

I wouldnt have minded, but I got to swim with some sharks which was really cool and made the whole experience memorable and enjoyable but also emotionally confusing.

[@Rapscallion2009]

David was out of focus. I wouldn't have minded, but the background was pin-sharp.

[@FlipFlopMopatop]

Oh, I do love you.

[@lamudri]

The term "country" is ambiguous (probably the most ambiguous, encompassing a lot of the meanings of its partial synonyms). England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Northern Ireland, the Republic of Ireland and the United Kingdom are all countries. The first 4 are also nations (and maybe the sub-Irelands), given that they have some reason to be called "nations" other than sovereignty. The last two are sovereign states (as we all know), but they are still countries.

[@Aduro9]

Surely the moral thing to do is something so bad the other person dumps you, then you can get out and they will feel dumping you was morally justifiable.

[@xanaxkamikaze]

The best stuff on youtube has less than 1,000 views. There is excellence buried in obscurity.

[@Mothman1992]

I have actually said "it wouldn't have been so bad, but she was so fucking friendly and understanding about it that I can't even be properly pissed off"

[@nigelmckee3058]

i couldn't agree more.

[@epicsamp95]

I love his hair

[@kleptokid123]

You make a me so crazzzzyy Mista Mitchell

[@Wazzathebro]

Hey Tony.... the 302 comment has been often used on KZbin as an attempt to troll for comments, and people who have seen this too often flag it as spam. For someone like you who hasnt seen the view counter stuck at 302 before (or too often), your genuine comment was unfortunately seen by others as a possible troll attempt and marked as spam. :)

[@albertannationalist]

Yes of course. Popper would be proud.

[@ambebhavani]

Thanks for letting me know. But equally 'strange' is how a simple comment from a fairly innocent mind caused such a strong backlash. Had no idea that new videos got stuck. It was just an observation on a cool DM 'rant' and now it's flagged as spam?! WTF??? Live life people... I wouldn't have minded, but -

[@Natala00]

Don't know why, but when he acted out the whiny bit, it made me think of Robert Webb. It is very much his humour, the self-deprecating looser jokes and wording.

[@diabl2master]

Ah, very good, this one.

[@ferithss]

I laughed so hard that I drooled on myself a little...

[@Zonker66]

Family obligations... makes taking your money away a bit difficult... although I appreciate the moral judgement on my soul.

[@uzvisheni]

You got to love this guys reasoning, I am glad that he thinks this way, I felt so alone.

[@AvielMenter]

And if you break up, it will be very painful.

[@gilgameshismist]

Nice!

[@lambertbutler5068]

How dare you scroll down when David Mitchell is talking!

[@raplena14]

your view on things really reminds me of George Carlin, cool I'm a huge fan !

[@LordBhorak]

There's an exception to this. When traveling on a small budget, you usually get cheap hostels to stay in... and they're pretty much shit. But that's ok, you get what you pay for. But now, if that place smells like rancid, boiled onions for example, then I think it's fine to say: "I wouldn't have minded that the place only had a bed and a radio in room and the toilets/showers were communal, but the smell... I couldn't stand the smell". :) True story.

[@HippopotamusPencil]

Hmmm... maybe I would, but I would've dealt with it and any annoyance would be my responsibility in a social relationship. Although you are correct in pointing out a flaw in my argument, I would claim that changing it to "I would've dealt with it like A MAN, but you..." may not be the best idea.

[@thatLukeKneller]

It's not just 302 though. KZbin freezes it at 300 but since youtube is spread over many servers when it does it's final count it can be well over. But it then freezes to make sure all the views are real and not bot created :)

[@heyysimone]

haha 'shit icing on the turdy cake' i am stealing this line.

[@woodrobin]

So, at the end of the day, kindness is the cruelest option.

[@St3v3z]

I didnt butt in at all. These are not personal messages. It is basically a forum for everyone to use. If you dont want people to reply to you, keep your replies personal. I just looked up grammar to back up my words and 'Linguists do not normally use the term to refer to orthographical rules, although usage books and style guides that call themselves grammars may also refer to spelling and punctuation.'Almost exactly what I said. Broader meaning to Joe Average. What say you to that?

[@twdarkflame]

no read what I said: " can only be measured by satellites using infer red and weather balloons. What we feel as individuals at ground level is very far removed" I never claimed anything about "when my corner of the world gets hotter". No ones ground level experiences can be used as evidence either for OR against.

[@kennyenki]

This man is simply a genius. It's really difficult to make me laugh but this guys humor is so clever it rips me in two. Why is his channel not more popular? Too many people watching crap like Lee Evans using his monkey impressions to cover his total lack of depth and content :(

[@acooper-rye6479]

art of war is as much about love as it is about war

[@kacper1194]

Haha, David always gets it right.

[@ThreadBomb]

Okay, I can visualise sharks in a tank, but how would they drive it or fire the gun?

[@Ceruleanst]

Fruits are bred for a lack of seeds, and the resulting seedless mutant plant is reproduced with cuttings. Every instance of the common banana, for example, is from a clone of one particular banana tree. There used to be a different banana generally regarded as better, but it was wiped out. This can happen again. Fortunately, the many varieties of seedless grape are more resilient. Whether sterile asexually-reproducing plants count as genderqueer is a question for the philosophers.

[@JesusRocksTryPrayin]

I am the cruelest person on earth. I die to be kind when I can

[@TopSetUK]

Welcome to youtube. All new videos get stuck at 302 views for a while :)

[@noregrets92]

Man, i have a lot of these to catch up on.

[@swine13]

I, for one, value the accurate use of words. I have literally never said this unless the little thing was the thing that pushed me over the edge. Otherwise I would say "I find this whole situation crappy, but the fact that just makes it that much worse". Wouldn't you, David?

[@revilo314]

This has entirely revolutionised how I dump people.