I Wrote 100 Pages About Charisma, And I Found This.

[@brinyheart.]

if you're interested in active listening, i would read 'active listening' by Carl R. Rogers and Richard E. Farson. there are also lots of videos floating around. if you're interested in 'being yourself', i found other than therapy, just about any highly rated 'shadow work' workbook helped me accept myself and work on my mental health, as well as being more self aware. please remember to balance the two if you want to try this out for yourself. if you're going try and be yourself, please remember to be empathetic towards others!

[@alicehyperdiamondz9052]

Thank you for this video. I have been trying to work on myself more recently, and I find these videos so helpful! Thank you for the recommendations too - are there any specific shadow work workbooks that you could recommend?

[@brinyheart.]

@@alicehyperdiamondz9052 i have one by Jor-El Caraballo. you can also just get a journal and find some shadow work questions online, they help me too

[@Aj-fd4ne]

@@brinyheart. when Are you sharing 100 page 📃 ??

[@pacobracken9407]

If it wouldn't bother you, could you share the doc?

[@dangearing9470]

Let your thoughts, words and deeds be in harmony with truth and righteousness as those choices in accordance with wisdom will lead to bliss

[@CatoTato]

“Stop trying to get everyone to like you, you don’t even like everybody” - a wise man

[@THE_Emraldblox]

aight bet - me

[@sithdude2436]

What if I do like everybody though

[@someoneinthecrowd4313]

@@sithdude2436 Damn didnt know you were chill like that

[@leebaylon9356]

666th like

[@jeffjacobs2706]

“Stop trying to get everyone to like you, you don’t even like yourself”

[@juzhang6665]

For me, being authentic has such a huge improvement not just in conversations, but in life as well. It’s not easy, you gotta put down your shame, your mask, your ego to be comfortable with yourself. It’s literally the final boss of mental health.

[@brinyheart.]

real

[@greenforest9466]

true. though strive for constant improvement however your personality is, which also suits and makes you mentally healthy

[@ithinkthereforeitalk935]

@@greenforest9466 Why, maybe I am laready enoigh? And waht do you mean by constant improvement? It's nonsense, mathematically speaking.

[@TPF00T]

@@ithinkthereforeitalk935 mathematically speaking, you are statistically unlikely to be enough. You are likely annoying in a multitude of ways. We all are.

[@legomac1213]

why did i read that as "for me being autistic has helped tremendously"

[@normalusername5223]

bro wrote a whole thesis and came back with "just be yourself lol"

[@TheBookgeek7]

Only for him, "being myself" is this "monumental" task! Which is very interesting...! And I'm not sure I understand what he means by it... then...

[@notsojharedtroll23]

Just be yourself, WITH being good looking

[@turolretar]

Yeah like no shit now explain how

[@フフーガ]

⁠​⁠@@notsojharedtroll23Oh god, the white supremacist nazi INCELS are coming out of the woodwork.

[@フフーガ]

⁠​⁠@@turolretar be attractive, be a woman, be wealthy, have a loyal social circle, etc. things that are less likely to get you punished for being “offensive”

[@adamel-sawaf4045]

“Don’t smile more. Give yourself more reasons to smile.”

[@goose7453]

making this video 4:3 aspect ratio is pretty charismatic

[@rowboat10]

I didn't even notice this video was 4:3

[@tuilleri]

@@rowboat10how is that special

[@rowboat10]

@@tuilleri ?

[@tuilleri]

@@rowboat10 4:3 ratio

[@rowboat10]

@@tuilleri what do you mean?

[@daveo1188]

TLDR: To appear charismatic: demonstrate to people you understand them, and be reasonably authentic

[@tolely00]

If you don't mind a small correction because I feel like it's a central point of the video and the thing people miss when trying to be more likeable, it should be: To *be* charismatic: try to genuinely understand people, and be reasonably authentic. Actively trying to show charisma and show understanding instead of being it and having fun is something people can easily detect but will never point out. It's a tricky thing. That's why I believe it's better to accept being insecure or ashamed and socially anxious, give yourself time and love to sort those things out even if it's lonely, and that will solve the root problem. There's no point in appearing charismatic if you are suffering on the inside or don't like yourself. In that state, there's bigger priorities than impressing someone and playing a social game. I don't mean to say you necessarily have those struggles, it's just something I had to learn and the more I talk to people the more I realize that's what most charismatic adults had to go through growing up.

[@DarkJak]

My understanding is reasonable ain't reasonable for a reasonable amount of people history demonstrates

[@khplaylistyt9729]

This is what I did for the past 7 years. No one knew I was suffering inside, I didn't even realize the extent of it. But I worked on it at the expense of everything. I am left behind lol but that's fine bc finally I am truly comfortable with myself. Which I believe is the greatest luck and asset of all. ❤​@@tolely00

[@freecss9330]

@@tolely00❤

[@OP-lk4tw]

@@tolely00 all of this is so bizarre to me, that the guy of the video had to study this topic to get that you have to listen in a conversation.. like wtf, who has to learn this, "active listening" is simply listening, listening isn't the same as hearing, it amazes me people are so unaware that they have to "actively study" (and not just read or think words without interpreting them XD) to understand that you are supposed to actually listen to what the other person is saying, amazing, who would have guessed, you have to respond to something they said, wow

[@FaithlessFlight]

Dude this is spot on. The generic advice of ‘just be yourself’ is the only true way - but like you said it requires true commitment to it regardless whether people ‘like’ you or not. That’s the part most people forget. Good stuff man.

[@digie3823]

Yes. People think it's wrong when they become their 'true' selves but then see no change or notice new people disliking them.

[@Macatho]

What if you're more boring than a wet rock? how the f does "being yourself" help lol

[@FaithlessFlight]

@@Macatho depends on what you mean by boring?

[@painandsuffering7130]

@@FaithlessFlightwell, speaking for myself, that I would be happy sitting in my bed watching the same like 3 tv shows on the loop for the rest of my life. Anything I do outside of that is not really for my own enjoyment, only out of obligation and every time it’s getting harder and harder to force myself to do it

[@briangreen3496]

There’s no true self though. Everyone has parts of themselves the make up the whole, and can change with time and action.

[@benasmick9036]

“A life that you’re living not being yourself is wasted.” This is a really important cultural note for us all. We’re subject to billion dollar marketing campaigns and PhD engineered algorithms designed to make us a specific person, feel a certain way. We don’t realise just how much we’re programmed to be a certain person. It’s okay to float and be definition-less, we’re people and that is all that matters.

[@mastermindcat]

What if someone is a pdf-file? Or a bloodthirsty maniac? Or a loser without a little chance to live a happy life? They also should live being themeselves? Sometimes being yourself means you won't be loved by anyone, or that you will cause much pain to everyone including your very self. So, again, is it always a waste? It's just a individualistic selfish slogan that not account the very life itself. Stop sharing this creepy hippy stuff developed by marketing masterminds to sell cup or a subscription to some weird media stuff and make you believe that you've come to these conclusions on your own.

[@NaylaAmira-vj9dm]

1. Be In the moment 2. Authenticity (be urself) 3. Give reason for you to smile

[@ZugZug99]

One of the single greatest things about growing up is being comfortable with who you are and giving less of a fuck what others think. It's ironic that the less you concern yourself with others, the more they begin to like you.

[@redfield7106]

Like a shadow. Dont chase them, and they will come to you naturally

[@omoeyami9742]

Not entirely true ... less fucks you give the less fucks your are given

[@nn-ue8wo]

Can you send the 100 page document you wrote ? I figured it would be interesting to read your view on this.

[@thereportoftheweek787]

This nibba gonna sell it

[@mjolninja9358]

U can find it on google for free its called “The Average-Average by Bernthall Reeves”

[@stevencastellanos6560]

Bumping this. Stop gatekeeping bro

[@pixelzebra8440]

Frrr why they keep referring to their document that they refuse to show us 😭😭

[@Kaapalkeens]

Bump. My man wrote a document, showed it and didn't share

[@mehless]

That thing about people going ham when you're an active listener is so true. People have opened up to me about literal marital affairs they're having, or deep self-esteem issues. I'm very introverted. I suck at socialising. Probably autistic. But people love to be heard and will open up to people they trust if you're consistently empathetic. And bizarre as fuck. I gave up on trying to mask my strangeness and that made people connect with me a lot more once I opened up. Obviously, if you're secretly a Nazi and you make that more clear, it probably drives people away from you. But showing vulnerability and being a weirdo makes people open up to me.

[@yams5749]

i second this with a BIG emphasis on having empathy!! i had the same experience as you! i’ll ad a bit of advice for whoever is reading this- you can say the weirdest stuff as long as you show people that you care and can understand their feelings, it makes them feel as though they can say anything to you because 1. you’re extremely open yourself, and 2. your empathy has shown that you won’t judge them for opening up. nobody wants to open up to a person who says weird funny shit but then can’t understand your feelings and point of view. empathy and genuine kindness makes people feel welcomed. also adding on to the nazi idea, yep, if a person’s true self is filled with hatred, nobody is gonna wanna be around them. being a nazi is just an example but this goes for every opinion that directly spreads hatred. you can’t just hear “people love it when you be yourself!” and then spew every disgustingly insensitive and hate filled opinion on your brain. i think this holds a lot of people back. to be charismatic, spreading negativity is an absolute no go. just don’t spread any negativity or hatred, period. even little things that are mildly negative are a no go- this goes for complaining as well. i’ve found that being around people who complain can be incredibly draining, so other people most likely feel the same if i complain. so i stopped complaining, i stopped spreading negativity in general and boom, suddenly everyone thinks i’m super fun to be around! if i listen to people complain, i just hear them out and emphasize with them instead of adding onto the complains. nobody wants to be around someone who is a ball of negativity, but everybody wants to be around someone they feel comfortable enough to open up to. it’s really as simple as that! :D

[@artemiygulyaev2280]

It's true that you shouldn't put on a mask and pretend you're a different person than the one you see in the mirror... but in context of being a generally strange person, a person who's strange traits and habits are completely alien/confusing/surprising to 90%+ of population, then fuck no you shouldn't just "open up" to strangers/acquaintances/colleagues lol. Leave that stuff to your friends who are on the same brainwave with you And the Nazi thing doesn't fit this topic imo, because it's like a condemnable moral position

[@Dovahkiin0117]

Don’t let people overwhelm you tho If you don’t take time for yourself they can take advantage of that Taken me a long time to speak up for myself

[@Hippowdon121]

or maybe you're surrounded by not-so-healthy people if they're literally having affairs

[@mehless]

@@Hippowdon121 Maybe, haha.

[@tiamelancholyjeoncockity]

You need to show us the 100 pages 😃

[@complexity4760]

* wink * * wink* It seems like his transcript 😉😉

[@jowe-pu1qq]

*wink*​ there's no way he read 100 pages verbatim and listed sources in 8 minutes @complexity4760

[@Cello10131]

​@@complexity4760An 8 minute video from a 100 page script?

[@barny1174]

@@complexity4760meaning?

[@khondamirkarshiev162]

yeah i kinda dont think those 100 are full of "important" stuff

[@Stonehawk]

Yooooo it's basically just straight up the elements of harmony XD Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity, and Laughter. AKA - authenticity, - being there for people, - maintaining an altruistic intent, and - active listening (your time, patience, and attention are finite resources you are GIVING them); finally, - positivity--finding things to actually BE happy about. When the first five elements are present, you feel a warm fuzzy tingle of excitement and enthusiasm, the realization that you like being around them and want to be around them more. That's the spark of friendship lighting up.

[@notnullnotvoid]

dang, Lauren Faust really kinda cooked with that huh

[@dekemori_2066]

it's kinda weird watching this video and realizing I've been doing all this my whole life already. I've always wondered why people would just be so open with me even when we had just met. the other interesting part is I don't view myself as charismatic. I'm truly introverted and I don't talk to many people or often. but when I do they always seem to have a positive interaction.

[@rajinfootonchuriquen]

I'm also introverted and people get comfy with me. The difference is that I really hate to see the fakeness in people once they open up, because now I have to restrain myself to not use any information they give me.

[@cobalius]

uhm, i guess in person it's a whole lot easier anyways. i can relate to the other's are kinda unsually open to me part.. but on the other hand, i still think that i'm calculating a hecking lot.. of how to behave, what to say and when to speak.. doesnt feel at all authentic that way

[@imliterallyspidermanwdym]

same here! i was extremely popular when i was in elementary and even though im pretty weird and quiet ive never had to deal with people being dickheads before but i honestly dont like talking to people

[@4Leaf36]

I've had similar experiences. I'll meet some at a group function or someone's parents, and it will get back to me that the people I talked with liked me. I always thought that was odd because in my mind I wasn't doing anything special and was just being myself. Nice to know that being myself is appreciated though

[@dilaragenc5792]

I can relate to this. People are comfortable with me because I’m authentic. It’s just who I am and who I always have been. But like the first comment said, I don’t view myself as charismatic either. Objectively speaking, is this the definition of being charismatic?

[@Mohitkesariya]

The thing that helped me be charismatic was watching charisma on command and actually applying the principles taught, hope this helps somebody.

[@yujibestboi]

What is charisma on command? Can I watch it on ytube?

[@crystaldeswardt4618]

@@yujibestboiit’s a KZbin channel

[@Mohitkesariya]

@@yujibestboi yeah, it's a KZbin channel

[@supahnubz]

I could see this channel get big. This is a good start to a KZbin channel.

[@stabber65]

Honestly your channel is gonna go far! So thanks for breaking down your experience and actually explaining how things down instead of just surface level "being yourself attracts authentic and more people".

[@craziergalaxxy4682]

Some notes I wrote down for myself from the video that I thought others could appreciate. 1. goals - try to have a fun and interesting conversation (it doesn't matter if everyone likes you if you don't enjoy talking to people) - do that by active listening more than talking about yourself (when people realize you're listening they tend to be more talkative and share more) 2. be your authentic self (people are hardwire to notice when someone is acting fake/not themself) - go to therapy - give yourself reasons to smile - say the thoughts that come to your head (within reason)

[@Dovsaspa]

My notes: go to therapy

[@brinyheart.]

@@Dovsaspa nothing beats it honestly. go to therapy.

[@dbb788]

2 be your authentic self -go to therapy yeah that checks out

[@mAny_oThERSs]

​@@Dovsaspaif you look at videos like these to be more charismatic, you shouldn't go to theraphy to be more charismatic, you should go to theraphy because you need it

[@orppranator5230]

So basically, be normal and be interesting?

[@pureoxin8135]

One of the most satisfying feelings is navigating social environments and conversations perfectly. Can only do that if you’re genuine

[@Psydefective]

Charisma is a less a skill and more a measure of how comfortable you are around how many others. People who lack this trait often conflate it with attractiveness, persuasiveness, or generally competence at any individual type of social interaction. Thus the umbrella term of Charisma is misapplied and the reflection of it's shadow, like so much ephemeral mist is sought after by people who don't know what it even looks like. They hope against hope that they'll get skilled enough to be comfortable someday, and for some it is a path out of the darkness, but to others, they never feel competent as they're not yet comfortable around people, all their "charisma" tips leaving them seeming insincere and forced to those accustomed to interaction, cementing their loneliness and making them yet more afraid of interaction as the stakes have risen. But if you've always had it... It takes you a while to realize that there are people uncomfortable around people, and you have to reverse engineer what made them react to others thusly. I find the answer is always quite heart-wrenching, or ENTIRELY JUSTIFIED, based on the control the individual has over the rejection triggering factor.

[@angelainbloom]

this is so well written 👏👏

[@hocuspocus9713]

This has been my entire life and I have just been crazily studying and and learning various skills in my room for over a decade never talking to anyone. I don't know how to fix this.

[@rblongfellow]

​@@hocuspocus9713 leave the room

[@hocuspocus9713]

@@rblongfellow to go where? I can't seem to get anyone to take any interest in me when I try to go out and inevitably end up alone anyway.

[@rblongfellow]

@@hocuspocus9713 bruh, watch to the video again. It's about listening to others. That leads to other fantastic things. And consider therapy as this guy says from the jump. Join activities. Volunteer somewhere. Get a hobby that involves others.

[@Raul-nv7rr]

Your charisma stems from your authenticity-GOOD SHOW !! 😊

[@vladyslavstepulenko8155]

Being charismatic, in my opinion, is embracing your type with its adjustment to social expectations. I tried "being myself" too much not caring about others' feeling ending up treated as a weird person. Then I realised that I should make my behaviour less "deviant" without diving into people pleasing. Also, the major negative factor is "locality", which means your short (respectively conservative) social circle impacts finding common ground with wider groups of individuals. Regarding this aspect I'd recommend "globalization" by simply participating in various activities, therefore communicating with very different people e.g. changing the workplace, starting working out in the gym, moving to another city or country etc.

[@yourasmrbf]

good way to put it. Sometimes simplifying the way you want to say something to suit who your talking to is the best thing to do. Your workplace stories could be more involved or technical when dealing with people in similar fields, or more focused on the social and comedic when dealing with the homies. Aint nothing wrong with giving a different perspective on the same concepts others may know on a more intimate level in a digestable way -- like kinks kek.

[@thesevenkingswelove9554]

This is the best advice usually. Be yourself but still within limits Trying too much to be liked will give the worse effect But trying way too little and you already know the result thats not good

[@alanuchiha]

be yourself but within respect to what other people are comfortable with

[@grassbopper4030]

briny!! as someone who has struggled all their life with socializing and making deeper connections…your videos (two gems so far!!) have helped me tremendously. i’ve got a different perspective on how to approach this scary stuff…that’s now a lot less spooky in retrospect. can’t wait for more of your brilliant content. all the best!!

[@F.a797]

In my experience, indirect signals are more important than direct signals, espically when talking to strangers. Like how clean you are, how pretty you look, how your voice sounds and how you talk.

[@notsojharedtroll23]

Yep. Looks matter. If you have sharp facial features, people are more receptive

[@pro-hz7kx]

@@notsojharedtroll23 brutal blackpill

[@RED-my9hl]

​@@notsojharedtroll23 cries in soft cheeks 😢

[@Tupemo]

And how you carry yourself

[@notsojharedtroll23]

@@pro-hz7kx i mean, I kinda knew because I lost weight and my body fat percentage allowed me to have a nice jawline. But because I was fat in formative years, my face skin is very saggy so... i need a face lift to look less old xdddd

[@TryJesusNotMy]

Charisma people are more dominant at everything: academy, relationships, genetics/look, thinking/smart, over by people and gifted by gods equally. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[@BD_422]

I had a somewhat similar experience in my school days. Especially in middle school and the first half of high school. I was obsessed with being liked, and to achieved that I lied. I lied a lot. I crafted a persona that would be liked, someone who was likeable. But I lied so much that I started to believe my own lies. I couldn't differentiate my own lies from the truth. I forgot almost all of my opinions because I changed all of them to what others would like the best. I would always responds in a way that would please the other person. And it worked. Everyone in school liked me, I had many many friends. But I never felt like I was close to any of them. They saw me as a close friends but I didn't see them even as acquaintances. Just some people to lie to, just some people to please. But I thought I was happy since everyone liked me, they would even always come to when they were arguing about something because they trusted that I would be fair and wouldn't lie. I did my best to please them all, I gave them the answers that would make them the happiest. I started to lie without even thinking about it. I didn't want them to be disgusted by who I really was, I didn't want them to hate me for who I was. Then, I met someone. They didn't give a shit about anything. When we first talked and stuff I would answer in a way that would suit the most. But I realized that they really didn't give a shit about anything. He didn't care enough about me to hate me. So gradually I started to be more honest with them. I started to remember my own opinions that I forgot, I started to remember who I was. Although he never gave a shit about me to the end, it changed me. I gradually responded to others with my own answers, slowly. At the end of high school I had lost many people whom I was "friends" with. Almost all. But after I got into collage I managed to make friends who I really cared for, who didn't mind who I really was. Sorry if my English is much too hard to understand. As It is not my first language.

[@dumblockdubbed2455]

damn bro, what opinions did you have???

[@beepbop6542]

You must have been out here defending pineapple pizza and child labor in Congolese lithium mines or some shit if you were losing friends over it

[@BD_422]

@@beepbop6542 Nah bro I live in a conservetive country. Just supporting stuff like LGBTQ and shit is enough since the kids don't know any better. I knew English since I was young but others didn't. I had access to western sources, they on the other hand only had their parents and teachers to learn from. I remember being called a heretic because I believed evolotion. Can't blame them since even our biology teacher said that evolotion was stupid and it was a sin. My history teacher said that there was no proof of it because every 'proof' was written by some dude who could have been lying. Also people don't like when someone who would always defend you and believe you stopped doing it and started to defend the one they thought was right in arguments and stuff. Also the person I mentioned in my comment was very disliked by the class. Just speaking to him on my own was enough for some people to hate me.

[@BD_422]

@@beepbop6542 Nah bro I just live in a conservative country. Just defending stuff like evolotion is enought to be called a heretic ( I was called a heretic more than I can count). I knew English since I was young so I had access to western sources but the other kids only had their parents and teachers to learn from. I remember my biology teacher saying that evolotion was stupid and it was a sin. My history teacher didn't believed it because every proof of it he had seen was just written by a guy and they could have been lying, so he didn't believe any written proofs. And he didn't believe physical evidence because it could have been faked by western scientists. Also talking to the person I mentioned in my comment was very, and I mean very, disliked by the class. Just talking to him was enough for half the class to start avoiding me. PS: I wrote another reply but it seems to have been deleted by youtube, or at least I can't see it myself. So if you see another similar respond by me that's why.

[@BD_422]

@@beepbop6542 I don't know if I am going crazy or youtube is deleting my comments. So if you don't see my other two comments they were deleted by youtube. As for my opinions, I knew English since I was young so I had western beliefs. And since I am from a conservetive Muslim country people really, and I mean really, didn't like that. Believing stuff like evolotion when even our biology teacher believed it to be stupid and a sin was not very liked. I went into more details in my other responds but I guess thats why they were deleted. But I think you can guess what other western things people didn't like.

[@wellawoods1660]

how do i describe this feeling... not having personally agonised over this in exactly the same way, but relating to a lot of ur reasoning... i'm glad you came to such a firm and productive conclusion about it. that u had such a yearning to know that wrote a 100 page document on ur research. your humility and love of the truth is beautiful.

[@nnarcin]

I do not comment often, but I find this video really well made both merythorically and with editing. It stands out from all of those self help videos on the internet that just repeat some stereotypical assumptions instead of diving deeper. I resonate with your conclusions

[@brinyheart.]

this means a lot, thank you. this video isn't perfect by any means but i'm glad the general point is getting across.

[@howtoappearincompletely9739]

Could you explain what "merythorically" means, please?

[@hablo_papøl]

@@howtoappearincompletely9739 yeah seems like that word doesnt even exist lol

[@rag-4036]

@@hablo_papølActually googled it cause I thought id found a new vocab word LOL

[@kanutaro3426]

"merythorically" ESL babble is crazy

[@zach_zach5898]

What was said here is pretty accurate as a whole. If you pick and choose some, but not all the points here, then it doesn't work. "Be yourself" doesn't work if you have a bad mindset, although you can attract friends who are similar to you. What matters is the energy you give out! I join discussions and I don't care if someone doesn't like me, I'm blunt, crass and my sense of humor is polarizing, I'm also not a people person and I don't hide it. I also don't shout it to the world. But I do want to make the discussion more lively and fun for everyone around. I think even if you're sad by yourself, if you want others to have fun, they will catch that energy. They will also catch the negativity you might exude. "Be yourself" and "have the right energy" can be contradicting, but that's why the only way to improve your social skills is to exercise them. But I'm 100% behind 1st "being yourself" and then comes everything else. I think an important foundation for becoming likeable is also to like yourself, or at the very least respect yourself.

[@loganpittmusic4388]

it’s all about making sure everyone feels seen in the present :)

[@ARCHI42]

bro, im so grateful that i genuinely smile when i see my friends

[@SP-ve1zz]

I agree with the second advice but for the first one? Maybe think twice before you want to try it. As an empathetic person every time I have conversations with people I always try to understand them. This leads to two results: 1. I get drained as empathy takes huge amount of energy; 2. Some start dumping emotional garbage towards you, cause those who are really willing to listen are rare. The concept of charisma itself is based on external judgement, which I personally think is no point. Just being ourselves, even if it ended up with people don't like us - but at least we are comfortable.

[@JJJBoys]

But that’s literally the foundation of communication and human interaction. If every conversation you have, or others have with you, ends with no understanding, then what was even the point of speaking or wanting to be heard?

[@ruthielalastor2209]

I kept pausing the video to make guesses and I said authenticity! Good job on finding your way to talk to people and make connections with them and also making yourself feel good in the process. ❤

[@coeuyu]

i sometimes feel like there is no hope for me to become someone thats actually me but seeing that others have gone through the same thing and overcome it truly is encouraging so thank you for this video :D also i don’t know if this is helpful but i heard this thing where someone basically said that you aren’t here to entertain anyone which really helped me kind of get out of my head about wanting other people to like me

[@BluezMars]

This made me so happy to watch ngl. It kinda made me realize that I could have both, being me and being liked to a degree. And thats honestly awesome. Great vid and graphics dude, it all pulls together in such an easy to consume way which I adore

[@sweets4life230]

As someone who has been told by multiple people that I am nice to talk to since I was little (despite being a mentally ill weird kid in primary school I found out that I was apparently popular which is wild to me but heyo) -Be honest. Be honest if you are struggling to follow what someone is saying, ask them to clarify. Don't lie about your interests or opinions. Set necessary boundaries when needed (this shows the other person that it is safe for them to set them too) -Apologise when needed. Not a half arsed sorry but a genuine apology. A good apology, I have found, is when you show that you have recognised exactly what you did wrong. A step further is to apologise whenever you realise you have done something hurtful, not just when someone tells you they are hurt. Hold yourself accountable even if others do not. -Be undignified just enough to show that you are a safe space. Tell that little bit of an embarrassing story. You will find that others open up to you when you show that you are imperfect and also human. -Do not judge others. Again, be a safe space. If someone opens up about their interests, support them. -Let yourself see how interesting other people are. If someone is rambling about something and you are struggling to follow it or getting bored, reframe the moment and realise how amazing it is that they trust you enough to tell you about the stuff they love. How sweet it is and how much you are learning from them. ❗Remember- the goal should never be to be well liked. The goal should be to make other people feel seen, appreciated and worthy of your time.❗

[@varena04]

i really love this comment. i super relate to it; i am also a weirdo with mental disorders yet i still find that a lot of people know who i am when i don't remember their names, lolol i do think a genuine appreciation and enjoyment of people is necessary to be considered "charismatic," at least by my standard. otherwise you're just chasing people away, or possibly attracting people who share a distaste for humanity...

[@sweets4life230]

@@varena04 Agreed. "Charisma" to me, is just a symptom of appreciating others. You cannot be selfish or inauthentic with it or you'll just end up becoming burnt out or "fake" seeming.

[@varena04]

@@sweets4life230 "charisma is a symptom"--you're spot on, man peace to you

[@austin-m8r-w6d]

​@@sweets4life230 I'd say that's where dark charisma comes in, the selfish side of being charismatic, or rather charming, solely for the reason of being popular and liked yourself. People do tire of it eventually and usually they'll fall out of favour because people start seeing how much of a bad person they might be behind the backs of others. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a future video on this.

[@PanFriedSunnyEgg]

"A life that you're living where you're not yourself is wasted" oh my - thank you for this video, so much value in just 8 minutes!

[@mounaimzaryouhi285]

I was waiting to find the document in the description 😅 from the video it seems like a good research into the topic. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[@Tofugirl361]

Active listening, and being a safe person for people to talk about their opinions or just be weird around, I find to be very charismatic. Make people feel valued, and be respectful. It goes a long way

[@adamel-sawaf4045]

“A life where you’re not being yourself isn’t your life.”

[@paulrydercoaching]

Brilliant video...and to add an angle you're 100% right... the heart of gold is the way forwards! To truly give is the most attractive thing. Though I got caught in my own trap years ago...giving to receive...I thought I was giving to be kind but the mind can often play games Also if there is an underlying trauma around rejection and abandonment.. becoming more attractive in energy to others will draw people towards us...but if an unresolved trauma says 'nobody likes you...your worthless etc' then the connections made will create anxiety of 'when arethey going to leave me / reject me But yes to the heart of gold message #loveit ☺

[@josieg.design]

I love this video and it really aligns with the work I've been doing on myself in therapy. Being seen for who you really are by others is vulnerable but puts a lot of good in the world because it makes others feel more comfortable being themselves too and makes life feel a lot lighter for you. I used to hate putting myself out there because I was protecting myself from rejection but realized that life is a lot more colorful when living authentically. I haven't done a 180, like sometimes I don't have the energy to be outside my comfort zone but I try with whatever energy I do have.

[@rektdrv8]

This is so heartfelt

[@keksz6799]

That is a really good and attention grabbing thumbnail, if I must say so myself! I did not even read the title of the video, and I just had to click it, STOP SMILING. I was like what the hell is this

[@-Plube-]

Damn, it was so good I didn’t even notice until I saw this comment. That’s how you know the thumbnail is a banger.

[@Transcendent_Jil]

​@@-Plube- same haha

[@AnonamemusHacker-yk2dh]

It ain't even clickbait it just requires context - don't fake a smile and be authentic the second point they touched on in the video that actually has real world application I wish more KZbin video were like this it's just exquisite chef's kiss 👌

[@blbryxx3]

this makes me think that a lot of ppl might be afraid to be themselves bc they experienced a negative reaction in the past, but you have to remember that there are 7billion ppl out there and that they're are ppl who will appreciate you for exactly who you are. perseverance is the most important thing! you always have to be true to yourself, not bc you'll be fake if you don't, but because if you take yourself out of the game and be the person you think ppl want you to be, then you're going to miss all the ppl your personality would just click with❤️

[@mastakoho]

Yo I said authenticity at the same time as you in the video. That’s so authentic of you!

[@EriPages]

Synchroncity.

[@vladislavkaras491]

I actually agree so much about being true about yourself instead of acting. Like, you can pretend to be someone, but at the end of the day, would you feel good being not really? Not having a possibility to speak truly, from the heart? Thanks for the video!

[@matteo.d.h6770]

I just now understand why i have a really hard time making friends . All this time i was just thinking about what other thinks about me, rather than try to connect with each other. I'm scared that people would think that I'm weird, so i would try to be "normal" so that people would tolerate me, because of that, most of the convertation that I have been having feels like it's one way, rather than trying to connect to each other. I hope that I would over come my fear in the future, and try to connect.

[@Jman16007]

Dude today I've just been smiling a lot and being nice to a new group, now youre telling me to change my WHOLE facade. Dude.

[@EmilKadabell]

"Being yourself" is a really vague and not allways ideal advice.. Because for some people, being themselves is precisely what makes people not want to be around you.. It's very dependant on what kind of person you actually at any given time.. It also kinda suggests that you don't need to change/grow/improve who you are, which is another thing that can be very stunting to a person's life.. If I had just stuck with an attitude that "I'm just gonna be myself and not actively change" when I was 18, I would not have been very successful in life.. So maybe this idea of "authenticity" needs to be flushed out a little..

[@SomeCallMeTato]

You can be yourself and improve yourself at the same time mentally and physically, you can stop criticising people unnecesarilly if you believe to be true that it doesnt work and still be yourself, if you like people and you act like you like them because its true then you are charismatic, wich is a way of being better, or just not making mistakes because you care about others. At 18 years old you are a kid so being yourself in an adult world at 18 is not fair lmao but thats the world in a nutshell. Maladaptive behaviour exists If it feels vague thats because its pretty simple but daunting for some

[@ДанькаШаблонов]

I agree. I tend to be a bit harsh on humans, so take what I will say with a grain of salt. When people say "be yourself" they don't truly mean it. They wouldn't say this to a criminal. Some people are just innately evil, some people completely dislike being around other people, some people are natural liars and backstabbers, some people have built in genuine beliefs againt life and so on. There is a long list of types of people who doesn't fit into a modern society now and they are either forced to live by other's rules, rejecting their identity or to fight for themselves and die because society will oppose them. Anyway, for most people on this planet "being yourself" means to be a power-hungry hedonistic animal, every good deed of whom is powered by egoistic satisfaction of fulfilling their inner desires and urges. I mean it, and it is normal. But if you try to act like that no one would like you for being yourself, because being yourself is about following a specific set of altruistic behaviors that people even managed to define very clearly. Being yourself is a war.

[@haroldbalzac6336]

I am a hateful and lustful person, no one wants to be around someone like that, so I pretend I'm not.

[@alexiapri]

that's actually not what being yourself means, but it's easy to think that's what it means. in reality, authenticity doesn't mean never adapting to situations and people or being unapologetically cringe in inappropriate contexts, but rather showing vulnerability, ACTUAL vulnerability, not traumadumping. for example telling people when something they do makes you uncomfortable, removing yourself from uncomfortable situations, not caring or waiting around for others to do what you want, telling your friends what you like about them and telling them you love them, admitting your flaws without being self deprecating and a downer, putting your ideas our there, expressing preferences and boundaries, asking people for favors from time to time or offering to do things for people whenever you can, taking people's advice and being open to advice and criticism, giving out your own criticism but ONLY to people where it makes hierarchical sense or to friends that you know are okay with constructive criticism, not being "brutally honest" but rather "nicely honest" and the list goes on and on. 'being yourself' or 'being authentic' doesn't mean going around in a furry cosplay 24/7, but rather allowing yourself to express your true feelings and telling people how you feel to their face, good or bad. basically, recognising that you're allowed to take up space and don't have to make yourself smaller emotionally or behave as if you don't have any needs or preferences. of course, the things you can offer people also come into play if you've got all of that down, like your creativity, spontaneity, sense of humor, opinions, your looks etc. and authenticity only comes from confidence. confidence that you don't need everyone to like you, that you're okay on your own because you like yourself, that the right people will eventually find you or you will find them, and that forcing relationships can never really go in your favor.

[@EmilKadabell]

@@alexiapri My whole point is exactly that some people have unlikeable personalities.. The most obvious example is a (genuine) psychopath or sociopath.. if someone like that is "authentic" about expressing themselves, they are very likely to push people away, because their true personality is repulsive to most people.. But it doesn't have to be that extreme.. It could lso be someone who is genuinely racist or sexist or any other kind of chauvanist.. You seem to cherrypick what YOU think is meant by "authentic", hence why I called the advice vague in the beginning of my point, and you seem to completely ignore the fact that some people actually have genuinely unlikeable personalities, unless they make an effort to change themselves, which isn't always possible..

[@Chud-mb7gl]

Alright for those who are gonna roll their eyes at the "just be yourself bro" advice or didn't get it; Basically before you leave your house clear your head and think about how you're feeling at the moment, don't try to be happy when you're not or act tough when giddy. Interact with others based on the current emotion you're having and let others talk about themselves.

[@WoundedPride]

This advice is unlikely to be suitable for everyone. Being an extremely silent and closed person, I tried to say the first thing that came to mind. Those around were horrified. As far as I can tell, they didn't even want me to start acting normal. The only thing they wanted was for me to stop talking. And to stop being near them.

[@abcwarrior91]

It’s not so much of what you say but how you say it and it’s the energy that you’re giving out.

[@WoundedPride]

​@@abcwarrior91 That rape joke was supposed to be delivered deadpan by design.

[@null345]

As a fellow quiet person. I think you know when you've found the right people, when one of them seeks out your opinion/answer. "So-and-so, what do YOU think?". I found I did so much listening (and still do, especially when encountering a new social group), often people become eager to hear/know your thoughts. When one is silent, people wonder, "why isn't he saying anything? What is he thinking? Why doesn't he feel a need to contribute to the conversation?" Silence can be used as mystique, and to complement the idea of the video, be silent because you WANT to. Be silent because being silent is being yourself. Don't ever feel obligated to speak for the sake of it, for the sake of being liked, etc. I'm not suggesting your current social group is "wrong" for you, but maybe new friends/circles could enable you to open up? A couple of quotes i think relate: "When they're quiet externally, it's loud as fuck internally". From Taoism: "To those unwilling to accept you for who you are, no action is required." Keep trying friend, it falls into place eventually. - A fellow introvert and occasional misanthrope

[@stop4500]

You have to be a good and positive person for your authenticity to have a good and positive impact.

[@illiatiia]

​@@WoundedPride Yep. Stay silent. Shhh.

[@jeremyfisher8512]

My main problem is being less critical and responding to frustration with genuine positivity (keyword genuine). I've gained friends from people who used to mess with me just because I stood my ground without anger or fawning. I don't recall how I managed to do it but people respect that kinda stuff I guess.

[@seth8933]

One piece of advice I've heard that's really changed how I approach interacting with people is to "flirt with everyone." Basically, treat everyone like you would treat a girl you're interested in, which really goes with what is said here about just having conversations to have a good time.

[@pokechamp3987]

I believe there's something profound about this idea. I've been hesitant to do it but I think it's right. One reason I don't always do it is because I truthfully usually don't care enough about say co-workers to put in the energy required. I do feel a big part of this is a limitation of energy and care. I guess things like social intelligence plays a role since it helps dictate how much energy is required.

[@Towardsflow]

This is spot on. Flirt with the world, any gender, any age. Don’t be a sniper.

[@legatechristmas1482]

If I did this I wouldn't ever talk to anyone haha

[@Arinaretina]

polyamory

[@nicolausthothmes2325]

​​@@Arinaretina no one said anything about dipping your stick in everyone or getting railed by the world. You took this opportunity to project and feel better about being accessible to anyone.

[@VivianXu-ex7yi]

I’m currently watching this at one in the morning. Yeah, I totally agree, but now I actually realize it, not just subconsciously. Thanks lots. ❤️

[@neonlights7602]

7:45 this is so stupid but it made me laugh

[@razz9431]

About me: I am 17 years old attending high school in a smaller city in germany. For the past decade or so I've struggled with finding friends, I had some real life friends that I just didn't fw as much as you should fw your friends and stuff like that but never intense bonding nor a real "group" of friends. This summer though, for the first time in my life I actually found a group of friends to hang out with. Right now I am at a stage where I am just overly nice and I give people lots and lots of "free" things like gum, cigarettes, a bit of weed etc so they like me more, I hope in the future I can correctly regulate how much is okay and at what point it's "too nice".

[@JOEYDEEZ369]

Stop smiling…. no… never ever no way no how… I love to smile.. makes life that much sweeter and a lot more worthwhile !!

[@brinyheart.]

we need more people who think like you in this world

[@JOEYDEEZ369]

@@brinyheart. awwww that’s just so proper blooming lovely… thanks a lot for the compliment and thanks also for your reply buddy.. it’s very much appreciated ;)’

[@bottlebeard]

@@JOEYDEEZ369 oi joey, aye you bri ish, perhaps?

[@DonManuelConLeonsJacket]

In my experience, being myself (I seldom smile when it comes to greetings or most social interactions) has done more damage than good, especially when it comes to a potential gf/one-nite stand, eitherway. My family has always told me to smile more often & to be more friendly.

[@hakou70]

So the main reason that some people are not charismatic or just push others away is that they are not themself in fact there are a lot of situations where I want to react with how I really feel but instead, I choose to hide my true feelings or act differently to avoiding cringe moments or conflicts that would NEVER happen in reality.

[@Nobody-il6mq]

I think a large part of it stems from shame, feeling like if you were to mess up or people were to perceive you weirdly then somethings wrong with you so you feel you have to hide aspects of yourself. At least that seems to the case for me.

[@camalinthewind5812]

GOOD ON YOU MAN! this is stuff that really helped me out when i was figuring myself out, you are doing a great job by making a good life and real connections accessible to more people without being patronizing, you are gonna do great online! people are really in need for what you have to suggest

[@Crispy_DAWG]

Honestly the pressure is trying to appease everyone. The fact of the matter is, you will, till the end of time, be admirable to some and unlikeable to others. Be yourself and you’ll attract the people who enjoy being around you. That’s not saying that if you’re blunt and obnoxious be that way. Have basic decency and respect but talk about your outlook on life, goals and aspirations, hobbies, favorite shows, etc. and do it without shame or embarrassment.

[@Leyton_music]

Mate, you've bascially gotten it spot on. I'm a charasmatic guy, was the president of my university salsa society and the authenticity and genuine interest in people's lives can take you anywhere. Along with mirroring and setting the frame, remembering people's name (everyone's favourite word). The heart of gold as well is a great concept I haven't heard that you vocalised, really great video, should be proud of yourself.

[@maxsolosyour]

hahaha????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? you cant just call yourself charismatic

[@hugohoeglund1424]

@@maxsolosyour sounds contradictory, like people calling themselves "humble" 😂

[@Leyton_music]

@@hugohoeglund1424 don’t have believe me if you don’t want to, the point is his video is really good

[@undeniablySomeGuy]

bro sometimes you can tell you're charismatic if people seek you out to talk. anyway, my name is my least favorite word, esp since its your name

[@Leyton_music]

@@undeniablySomeGuy but people’s name is on average their favourite word, I hope one day you can like your name and get excited when someone calls it out as it is a nice feeling

[@elpierna1412]

I remember when i was 11 or twelve i realised i was awkward when socializing so i started analysing myself and looking through videos and books and at 14 i has acomplished a huge huge change, and i can confidently say thats authenticity its for sure the BEST tip, you need to act slighlty weird

[@akshobhyavarma]

Honestly, from my personal experience of trying to "be myself" i found out that once you go deep enough you realized that there is no purely authentic you. But what i also understood from this realization is that you get to choose who you are. What i mean to say is that the "authentic you" is more of an amalgamation of what you consume, who you interact with, how you were raised etc. Some of these parts might be good and some maybe bad. But at the end of the day you can choose what you let to fuse into your amalgamation and what you don't. So if you are struggling to find your authentic self like i was, try adopting things that you think are funny and cool from the media you consume, the books you read and the people you interact with. Almost all my jokes are stolen from people who find funny and that is what makes other people think i am funny. So shamelessly steal from others because even they have stolen from their, how do i say this, inspirations.

[@KidneyMans]

I actually came to pretty much the same realization a while ago, but it's just really hard to actually put it into practice. Like sometimes I know I should say something but my brain won't let me. But over the years I've gotten SO MUCH better about it and this video just validated all of that work :) (I'm not crazy)

[@MigWith]

No, I wont stop smiling, I love smiling

[@TheAntiSavior]

It doesn’t get any more authentic that than does it

[@aaryatodoroki]

that's amazing

[@alexlewis5365]

Cool beans bro. As long as you're not also forcing other people to smile too.

[@imsa123-12]

in the video he doesnt say "stop smiling" he says "dont smile just bc its normal and people will like u but rather smile bc life is amazing and theres so much good, frowning is a waste of energy" =D

[@msweeedo]

bro's mastered being authentic

[@soy4490]

very similar thing happened to me recently. its such a joy to be authentic and find people who enjoy your company

[@DavidBerger-g2h]

Seeing this Video and that aligns with my Experience as somebody who has different Charismatic Attributes that were rather random than intented. Being Authentic towards yourself means that some People are gonna like you and other dislike you. Thanks for mentioning Therapy its sadly not seen as a Optimzazion of Yourself by the majority.

[@fembot521]

I am charismatic and I do all of these things, people,love me and want to hang around me all the time. The problem is it can be exhausting because no one reciprocates and I do all the work in these relationships. No one is there for me to brighten my day. It’s lonely.

[@vinnology1]

Hey man, watched this video and it reminded me how much I changed from almost four years ago. I use to be an introvert scared to make conversation with many and found throughout the years that saying what's on your mind and being authentic is 100% the absolute best way to become.. not only charismatic but also very happy! People appreciate honest, authentic individuals, and being understood, so this video was pretty spot on. good stuff new sub 👍👍

[@mylesbrady2363]

Charisma authority is believing your own authentic vision and then also being the first witness/follower to your own leadership in practice. Build this genuine process from the inside and the stage gets built naturally. Charisma and being interesting to others from ettic are fundamentally different things

[@spmusicc]

This is cool, I think one issue is I'm terrified of starting to just say what I think. I am pretty opinionated underneath all of the apathy and I feel like If I started saying how I felt too much, people would run a mile. In the past I have come across pretty rude and judgemental with people on stuff I don't understand, I think it comes from fear of the unknown yknow. It has to go hand in hand with empathy for me, actively educating myself about the world and people's struggles that I've been neglecting and staying wilfully ignorant of - so that I don't end up really pissing on people's cornflakes. But also not use this as a reason not to talk to people...

[@IceDunker-2000]

Just speak ur mind brah, ain’t gonna hurt. Trust me, I’ve been in ur shoes. If people got smth rude to say, their opinion didn’t matter in the first place. Don’t ignore constructive criticism however. Make sure to be honest, fair, and respectful too. Those core principles will carry ya a long way, it’ll help people view you as an admirable and reliable person. Also, work out; it’s a cheat code.

[@_XAV_]

Fr. I used to be a more “charismatic” but I was a little more toxic and pissed people off more. Now even though I feel I’m more confident, I think I come across to people as less charismatic or social many times, because I stay quiet and don’t say many of the things I’m actually thinking. I’m way more conscious of how people around me feel so I’m more cautious with what I say. But it’s about finding a balance that works.

[@dragonsrule20201]

I'm a pretty innately negative person, but I just call myself out mid-sentence when I notice I'm going overboard and make a joke about it. I think people appreciate the self-awareness, and the redirection has helped me train myself to be more positive. Its, again, about authenticity; acknowledging your true thoughts, while also being honest enough with yourself to realize that you can do better. (Especially if its something you dont know much about. Thats a good opportunity to be honest about your ignorance and ask questions!)

[@user95395]

i'm autistic, people for sure don't like you for being authentic unless you're talking about romance. being authentic ***does not help *** in the workplace -- it will get you fired.

[@koa3871]

you're right, "just be yourself" brings adverse reactions for neurodivergents

[@user95395]

@@koa3871 It does for everyone in the workplace -- that's why everyone is a milquetoast loser for a face at every job... that's what keeps you employed.

[@stb7479]

I'm 16 and used to not be good socially, so over the last year one of the big things I focussed on, was improving this. I'd say I'm really intelligent and learn a lot from others, like you do. I observe the people who have what I want and learn from them how they got like that and how they behave. I also figured out that you unconciously feel like someone else is better than you, when he doesn't smile a lot. This makes you want to chase the person and try to be friends with him. I personally like friendships more where you laugh a lot, so you have to find a way in between. Also I found out you need to be authentic. There are a couple types of popular kids. The ones you want to be like got popular by being authentic. Of course if you're kind of a "loser", you need to improve yourself first. Also I changed instead of thinking stuff, now I just say it. I don't know how I realised this, but it makes people like you more and feel more open around you. I discovered a lot more than what I just wrote by observing people and watching video's. I really like that you do partially the same, but share your knowledge on youtube. There are still things I have not realised or figured out yet and you helped me to figure some of them out.

[@ScireVetitum]

>Click on video to find out summary of 100 page self documentation >Answer nr.1, "It is complex but mainly heart of gold (be nice)" >Answer nr.2, "Just be yourself bro" It seems that the answers are always there, but the true solutions within reach are just the experiences of actually getting there. So my takeaway from this is that instead of trying to look for answers or applying them haphazardly, it's best to just make yourself comfortable with all kinds of social interactions, until you no longer fear the unknown.

[@kiwikiwi7928]

U actually proven ur points in this vid cuz u almost near mil views in this short time, thanks mate

[@user-je1hi6jy1i]

Hey, you all are still focusing on the surface dig deep please dig deep you can't be charismatic from putting more effort its about just being, Here's a tip Charisma stems from your childhood heal your childhood. Yes i am saying this directly to you the person reading this comment Inner child healing is the answer. Thank you. This is the Tipping point of your life search now and find your answers.

[@brinyheart.]

couldn't agree more. “No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.” - Carl G. Jung.

[@tggchat]

Sometimes the most Charismatic individual had bad childhood. Johnny Depp.

[@croozerdog]

wha?

[@ppeez]

Are you high?

[@TrueNeutralEvGenius]

As a social orphan, who since 2004 wrote 8000+ pages on that topic along with other important ones, which I was researching, ruminating and reflecting on, I confirm most of what's told here in this video. Well done. I'm glad you did it. All the best to you.

[@TrueNeutralEvGenius]

P.S. Positive thinking and smiling it bs though, it does not work overall. Especially smiling does not work in sexual attractive sense if you are a man. For woman it works. It's complex. Sapienti sat.

[@zgu8744]

Good video, good thumbnail, good title. You have seriously hit the big three here. Keep going, i'll be back here next week. Loved what you talked about and the way you talked about it. The essay is attention grabbing and you retain that attention throughout the whole video which is amazing. I was very surprised when i saw the number of subscribers. You're gonna make it big. Carry on making people be able to get the absolute most out of life.

[@BowMannnnn]

Incredible video. its actually crazy how much i related to the journey you described you had with charisma, what with acting in front of people, and realizing the importance of authenticity. ive literally had that exact epiphany about "living your life not as yourself is a waste". words cannot express how much i wish id seen this video sooner

[@Naruto-mn1dy]

4:09 dude's playing 4d chess

[@sadpapertowel1504]

This is awesome, I’ve been on this path for the past 2 years, this can help allot for those who listen and are open minded

[@JustCallMeElGamer]

“Be yourself” Said every parent, and now I see why and take it to use everyday Also have true intentions, have integrity

[@RelexGG]

Being myself helped a lot until I became depressed. Now I can’t be myself cuz people always ask if there’s something wrong just cuz my tone isn’t extruding high energy

[@tylerharry6319]

Okay, big problem I have with your theory: There are tons of shitty, horrible people that are also super charismatic. I mean I guess they could be faking qualities like "have humility" or "are selfless", but you'd have to be a genuine psychopath to fake emotions like that to an extent that it not only fools other people but they're sucked in by them. Though in general, for like regular people, seems solid.

[@saeso6974]

Some people are just physically attractive, which may contribute, e.g, murderers who have fans on tiktok for their looks

[@Azyahni]

I'm a bit confused as to what you disagree with? I think he's saying the difference is in intention The *authentic* charismatic character seeks understanding and connection , outside of Oneself. The inauthentic character..seeks the same things, but does it for selfish reason, to further their own agenda.

[@Azyahni]

I don't think that necessarily makes you a psycho, but I also think, at least in our country, that we are rewarded handsomely for having psychopathic tendencies, and anything of that dark triad. I mean, I've faked a laugh for someone else to feel good before. I've omitted my opinion due to strategy of the situation. Observation, many people are playing games, and all is fair. I do look out for charmers though. If someone is making you feel like the biggest person in the room, and you just met them, I'd be wary!

[@justworship0570]

Nice bro, peace from Dagestan 💜👊

[@yksb2]

you give me hope

[@kubakaczmarek2399]

He literally just said be yourself.

[@Jaba3Infamous]

I didn't even know you could upload a custom aspect ratio without getting black borders.

[@trapaholics]

none of this would work if you're not attractive and tall

[@PaxHeadroom]

What a lovely coincidence, I've crossed paths with your content at a time in my life where I am beginning to have the same realizations you did. On the waitlist for a therapist, working on problems in my relationships, and getting ready to pursue some opportunities that i might have normally turned dow for fear that I was inadequate or would somehow fail miserably. It's like I've spent the last ten years of my life terrified of what will happen when I allow myself to engage with the world, and like you, I'm just making myself break through the arbitrary inhibitions I've forced on myself. Looking forward to your future uploads.

[@enginerdy]

Never Split the Difference is NOT a book you should be looking to about charisma..

[@lowkeyayokai]

Why?

[@enginerdy]

It’s not a book about charisma, it’s about forcing someone to comply with your demands. IMO it’s not a very good business negotiation book because if you get a reputation like that no one will want to deal with you.

[@TaLeng2023]

​@@enginerdyheard about it but haven't read it. I guess I won't be reading it. I'd rather read books about subtle influence. I CAN'T stand confrontations, it stress tf out of me that I couldn't work in customer service. 😅

[@kayaeki]

@@TaLeng2023 Honestly, it's a very good book about understanding negotiation. It really matters that you take those gold nuggets from that book and really try to use them in life. Helped me a bit, not forcing anyone to do anything but asking for what I deserve and rightfully.

[@enginerdy]

@@kayaeki agree totally

[@harjas8876]

Did bro's first video blow up, that's crazy but deserving cuz the content is actually pretty good ❤

[@realjujoo]

Thank you sir you will be the best man at my wedding and the Godfather to my children

[@WhiteT6422]

yeah i kinda figured it out on my own too. Just be yourself try to be nice but dont over do it and try to stay positive (to urself mostly). and sometimes sit by urself. dont force interactions. understandable have a nice day :)

[@easyactually]

Nice stick figures :D

[@mr.notaku9748]

yeah, right?

[@3SICKsty]

Another invaluable resource for becoming more comfortable with being yourself is surrounding yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are. As soon as I could accept that others can love me for who I am the same way that I love them for who they are, that really had a huge and lasting positive impact on my self-worth ❤ Great video btw, looking forward to more :)

[@buzzybees8604]

I like Geometry Dash

[@superpaul968]

That must be very upsetting for you. 😢

[@Ozukai]

Omg! Me too! its my favorite game

[@thefatmalk7609]

Me too

[@buzzybees8604]

lots of ePIc GAmERs in this reply section B)