IDEAL PARENT FIGURE : HEALING ATTACHMENT WOUNDS AND CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (SERIES)

LINK FREE CHECKLIST: DO MY PARENTS HAVE BORDERLINE OR NARCISSISTIC TRAITS?
AND FREE COURSE: IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT
drkimsage.thin...
This is a guided imagery exercise taken from Dr. Dan Brown and David Elliot's protocol: The Ideal Parent Figure Protocol, which was developed to help patients with childhood trauma.
Typically, this technique is used in therapy, however, I wanted to share it as a powerful example of the types of protocols being developed to help heal attachment wounds, and because the power of meditation and mindfulness can have profound effects upon on nervous systems and traumas.
This exercise is not meant to replace therapy, but to share an example of guided meditation healing, and I have found it incredibly helpful using it on myself.
***Here is a brief introduction to this video if needed: • INTRODUCTION TO IDEAL ...
***********************HEALING ATTACHMENT WOUNDS SERIES:********************
This series begins with understanding the primary issues around Attachment Theory and healing Attachment Styles, and will then go deeper into issues around Attachment wounds and related trauma and relationship issues.
I will be posting daily 5 to 10 minute videos after this one on Healing Attachment Wounds and Understanding Attachment Styles and Relationships, as well as tying these topics where appropriate to Complex Trauma, and challenging childhoods and parenting.
Many of you are already very familiar with Attachment, so I hope to add some additional research and topics you will find helpful, and potentially new ways of understanding yourself and life.
While we cannot fully heal attachment wounds without being in relationship with others, these videos will be providing some exercises you can use to enhance your healing journey.
I am so passionate about the relationships between Attachment, Trauma and Relationships, and I truly value your thoughts and ideas, so please share and add any additional information or stories you feel will also be helpful in healing our lives!
xo
www.drkimsage.com. (my website and Thinkific to access courses)
@drkimsage on TIK TOK: / drkimsage . (Daily Content)
************************COURSES COMING SOON on THINKIFIC.COM !!!!******************
COURSES COMING ON THINKIFIC:
BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA
FREE COURSE: "INVISIBLE WOUNDS". IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT
LATER COURSES COMING:
"RE-MOTHERING" (RE-PARENTING)
"HEALED PARENTING,"
PARENTING TRIGGERS FROM YOUR OWN CHILDHOOD IMPACTING YOUR PARENTING TODAY
***ALL COURSES INCLUDE WORKBOOKS AND JOURNALS, GUIDED MEDITATIONS
***Please note! I am so sorry but my practice is full at this time and I cannot accept new patients. If you would like to be added to my waitlist, please email me at [e-mail] and I will email you only when a spot becomes available. I cannot guarantee a spot will open, however, so please know I care very much, but am limited at this time given my case load. Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents for weekly therapy once available. If you are interested, please also add in a few brief details in your email including your reasons for seeking treatment, current diagnoses, concerns, etc.
Thank you so very much - I truly and sincerely appreciate you, and the time and thoughts you share here:)
xo
RESEARCH ARTICLE ON THE IDEAL PARENT FIGURE:
Ideal Parent Figure method in the treatment of complex posttraumatic stress disorder related to childhood trauma: a pilot study
Federico Parra, Carol George, Khalid Kalalou, Dominique Januel
Eur J Psychotraumatol. 2017; 8(1): 1400879. Published online 2017 Nov 16. doi: 10.1080/20008198.2017.1400879
PMCID: PMC5700488
Article PubReader PDF-1.4MCite
The Ideal Parent Figure (IPF) method treats attachment disturbances which tend to be present in CPTSD patients with childhood trauma.• In our sample of 17 adults with CPTSD, a short 4-session treatment using the IPF method significantly reduced symptoms and increased quality of life.• The results were stable eight months later.

[@alohaloveheals8399]

Please Take off the ads! There were two interruptions loud ads in the middle. You can change the ad settings so they only come on at the beginning.

[@pipgalea1376]

yes it totally ruined it for me

[@helensid6670]

​@@pipgalea1376Take the video almost to the end, let it finish, then click replay (aprl 24, a video with this length will show no ads in the replay)

[@greentree5448]

Whaaaa?! There are commercials in the middle of this meditation? Please, please do all the adverts right up front and get them over with so the listener can relax.

[@EmilyCleveland-m2v]

This would be amazing if it weren’t for the ads shocking me out of my relaxed state

[@helensid6670]

Take the video almost to the end, let it finish, then click replay (aprl 24, a video with this length will show no ads in the replay)

[@DrKimSage]

Hope you find this guided imagery exercise powerful! Please remember that meditation is a practice, like yoga:). It can take a few times before it starts to really feel like a way to re-imagine your ideal parent figures. xo

[@okatzl369]

This was very relaxing. This exercise is quite hard at first - my inner child didn't trust the ideal parents so had to play around a lot. And thoughts about actual parents kept popping in. Is that ok? I heard on a support forum we can try to heal our own parents to make it easier. Can we do this exercise imagining healthy parents for our parents?

[@gracyelala]

as many other commenters mentioned, please adjust ad settings to play only at the beginning of the video. we understand you monetizing this great content - but it is frankly harmful to have ads popping up in the middle of this guided meditation.

[@CShlaes]

I listened to this meditation this morning as I am awaiting the fallout from a no-contact letter I mailed to my narcissistic parents last week. They should receive it today or tomorrow. I found it impossible to imagine ideal parents' reactions in most of the situations. I found myself instead recalling examples of my parents' reactions in those situations and now realizing how deficient and hurtful those reactions were. I did not experience parents who could respond with love and empathy and shared joy. I think I will need to listen to this exercise several more times in the next several weeks so I can move past my actual parents and form an image of idealized parents. (I am a 64 yo woman. I have a lifetime of non-ideal responses to overcome.) Thank you for presenting this and all your other videos.

[@Littlemushroomtree]

Much love and healing to you. You are doing the right thing to protect yourself. It’s so hard to navigate toxic parents, especially when you have to go no contact. But you deserve to have peace and happiness.

[@markartist8646]

I sent a no contact letter to my mother 2 weeks ago. I am 65. I am starting to work this Daniel P Brown practice. It seems easier to do without a connection with my FOO- frees up the space to cultivate new patterns. I still have overlap of old memories that intrude into the attempts to imagine different parents, but I put the new parents in the old scenes, replacing the old parent bodies, for now. I have/had a lifetime of narcissistic partners, but that is changing, AND there is still lots of time to experience healthier connections! Good luck to you. You will do sensational with practice!!

[@sandracrandall4561]

Friends....you took steps to save yourself, as you should. God bless all of you....I'm older, I sent "the letter" back in 1996....my healing began. As I walked thru this meditation my parent was Jesus because EVERYTHING that was taking me thru the exercise is how God Loves Us❤. He grieves what our parents did to us. Their free will choices hurt us. Just as our free will can hurt others or enhance them. I pray ALL of Us rest in the Loving arms of God. Get up on His lap & see His smiling face as He wraps His arms around you & Loves You so much that He stretched out His arms & died. Like Him...we too can raise about our tragedy & truly Live & Love. We can & We will. You are precious people, priceless in fact! Healing is possible & you can do this.❤

[@maehvna]

Ads in the middle made this hard to start focused on

[@hamiltoncamp]

Commercial alert

[@geckogekko]

Dr Kim pls do more of these. Your voice is the most soothing thing ever!

[@DrKimSage]

Ok I will! I am so happy you enjoyed it!! 💗💛💗

[@reginakhalikova6515]

Meditation is great and the Drs Sage voice is soothing and calming, but the loud ads all of the sudden really freaked me out.

[@ST-ou7yr]

Same, I wish there was a version with no ads, they were so disruptive

[@helensid6670]

​@@ST-ou7yrTake the video almost to the end, let it finish, then click replay (aprl 24, a video with this length will show no ads in the replay)

[@kasiakowalska6337]

Thank you so much for this, I appreciate the care and time you put into this. The ad in the middle was so so shocking for the system after being so at ease and in deep meditation. I couldn’t find the peace to continue after that

[@okatzl369]

Yeah it's not well timed...

[@helensid6670]

Take the video almost to the end, let it finish, then click replay (aprl 24, a video with this length will show no ads in the replay)

[@kujjitafari8509]

Thank you! This has been the only work that is able to fill up my empty heart. It's amazing how powerful this exercise is.

[@sashafowler21]

This was really powerful for me and it brought me to tears - but the video is riddled with ads. I couldn't go 5 minutes without being knocked out of meditation. Not nice.

[@ErinGipfordFreelance]

This meditation showed up on my feed in Devine timing. I woke up this morning with really heavy feelings regarding my mom and having to go no contact. This meditation brought so much relief to my body. My Devine parents knew exactly how to comfort me. Thank you soooooooooooooooo much for creating and sharing this 🙏♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️

[@DrKimSage]

🙏🙏💗💛Thank you for sharing this! I am so sorry, and I so understand - holidays are really challenging. Sending you love and light!

[@Chaz_NFQ]

Has anyone ever ACTUALLY overcome an anxious attachment style? I’ve found ZERO records/case studies of such a person

[@ronelfaurie2381]

​@@AH--173 Do you mind if I ask how long it took?

[@Littlemushroomtree]

This is wonderful. I’m crying at my kitchen table. Thanks so much for making this.

[@maryjanemorris2877]

Thank you, Dr.Sage for this soothing and enlightening video. I will be receiving more sage advice from your Re-Mothered course. My inner adult and inner child appreciate you and your therapeutic approach to complex PTSD issues. _\m/

[@anaoftheclouds]

Couldn’t get into it with the ads :/

[@MsKingwa]

This made me cry 😭😭😭😭

[@helensid6670]

7:55 already feeling safe in my body

[@janetennyson131]

I can't imagine such parents. Tried the original meditation by Mr Brown too. Maybe the words are too abstract for me, too general.

[@davidcoalkey6074]

This meditation has been so helpful for me, I come back again and again.

[@Gloroxsocks]

Thank you I will be doing this more often ❤️

[@brookedaos549]

This was so amazing and soothing thank you so much for sharing! Would love more meditations like this. ❤

[@danielleehrenfeld8573]

The meditation is great but getting ads about school shootings during it took away from the effectiveness. I was crying about ideal parents when it began telling me about Sandy Hook..

[@beckyb3962]

This made me so emotional and filled me with so much hope! Thank you for this!

[@00gillettl]

Thank you for making this video, from the bottom of my heart

[@lealea6020]

Thank you Kim Sage, you should do meditation series one day! I do guided meditations every day with different teachers and your voice is the best! It was very soothing and calming

[@tiablasangoriti8347]

The meditation was very soothng.

[@GabrieleFerraro]

This made me so emotional! Thank you so much!!

[@loriegreenwood1105]

This was incredible

[@NisamLp]

Thank you for this meditation, at first I wasn't sure if it would work for me, since I have quite some problems with imaginative techniques, but after a few minutes I really felt it working and helping me in the moment. Whether it will bring positive long term effects I am not quite sure yet, but I'm hopeful and thankful for this technique.

[@chrissiddall4227]

Hi Dr Sage, i am a therapist in training and having a difficult time finding IPF training or workshops. I would like to use it in my practice. Any guidance would be so appreciated! Lovely meditation here ❤️

[@bmxt939]

Thanks for this extended version. Author's video on YT is too fast and starts too abruptly.

[@manasikulkarni5963]

It helped me so much thank you so much.

[@momione11]

Thank you.❤

[@tambij]

I have a question??? What if it’s Not me that is “Controlling Everything”? It’s my husband that is controlling my life. He speaks down to me about everything. If we are around others and I am saying something he doesn’t like ( He will grab my arm, give me a angry look, grab my leg, something to get my attention so that I will stop speaking about a certain subject. He likes me to be at home. Not working or doing things that I am interested in. He is a good father, he works hard & is a good provider to our family. But, when it comes to our marriage, in his opinion Nothing I do is good enough, things that I say seem to be extremely annoying to him. He micromanages me in every way. Sometimes I don’t think he even realizes it. I will call him out sometimes & he always justifies his actions. I feel “Trapped”. I have spoken to him about divorce for several years. But he says it’s not what he wants. But I know I am not happy and I know he is not happy. He doesn’t want to talk about the issues we are having, he doesn’t want to go to couples therapy and I feel more & more alone, disrespected, unhappy, I absolutely isolate myself from him & life in general. I spend 95% of my day’s alone. I don’t feel that I can truly be happy unless I can be freed from this relationship and find myself again. I’m in a Very Dark Place and it is so difficult!! I have been married to him for over 25 years. We have three daughters, March 31, 2022 my oldest daughter passed away. This has been absolutely devastating to me. Although this trauma is so difficult and such a painful thing to deal with, my marriage problems have only gotten worse. I need to be able to share how I’m feeling with my husband. But he doesn’t want to speak of it. He always says that I have already said these things, or he doesn’t want to talk about it. He says I need to move on & do something to make myself happy and not dwell on the past. Maybe he is correct?? I wish I could do things that make me happy, but the hobbies that I used to enjoy and be passionate about I no longer have a desire to do anymore. I feel so lost ( I don’t feel happy ever ). I use to be so confident, independent, strong, I knew who I was, what I wanted in my life, I knew my own worth and I didn’t need a partner/husband to make my life complete. I didn’t need to be married to be happy. I was very happy I had many close friends and I was always busy doing the things I loved. Travel, Art, sewing, gardening, dancing, concerts…….. But I did want children & a family. I always wanted to be a mother. After I had children they were & still are “My Life” they made me so happy & I love being a Mother. Giving them all the Love & attention that they deserved. ( the love & attention that I didn’t feel I had from my mother ). I love my mom very much but we are not close. She has always chose her friends, boyfriends, husbands, over her children. If it wasn’t for my father & my grandmother I wouldn’t have felt loved at all. I know I have not been a perfect mother but I know that my children absolutely knew how much I love them, that they are special, supported, that I was there for them always, and that I was there for them no matter what. However, I do feel scared for them because I do not want them to end up in a bad relationship. I feel that children who grow up and there are problems in the parents relationship it’s going to effect them and the choice’s they make in there own relationships with friends, boyfriends etc. although myself and my husband would try to go on a ride to talk so that we were not arguing in front of them, I know that they felt the tension between us and absolutely has effected them, my oldest daughter had a rough marriage that caused her a great deal of pain. Because of this & many other situations I feel an Extreme Amount of Guilt because I didn’t know what was happening and my daughter didn’t feel that she could come to me and tell me what she was going through. I knew that things were not good in the last year of her marriage, I had no idea just how bad things were. I know I cannot go back in time and change what happened. But I do have a lot of regret because I know I could have done more for her. Grief is something I don’t know how to deal with. It’s all consuming. It’s not just emotional pain it’s physical as well. Depression, Anxiety, Sorrow, Sleeplessness, are Extremely Devastating. “ Grief is the price we pay for Love “. That I know with all of my being!!

[@imwritingapoemaboutit]

I read your whole comment. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. You sound like a lovely person who cares very much for her children. I'm sorry you are going through so much emotional turmoil. I hope you know that you don't deserve a partner who you makes you feel the way your husband seems to make you feel. I've seen my mother shrink in her marriage with my father and it hurts to watch. You deserve to thrive. Just imagine how much you'll be able to give your loved ones when your cup overflows. But also it's what you deserve. You deserve a good life. Wishing you all the best

[@gea1171]

You have it in you, one part of your brain knows all your worth and wants to find joy in your hobbies and in being YOU. What helped me was to detach myself from him for a long enough period of time, I had the chance he had to go abroad for work and I moved to a place by myself. After a few weeks I started to reason by myself, i started to lose the control on my mind and to see things with my own eyes. I started to feel strong again and that he had taught me I needed him to survive, yet he needed ME to need HIM in order for HIM to survive. I also found a lot of support in the Thrive after abuse facebook group. You can make it, you have it in you 🌻

[@benjaminlyew_jj]

0:34 if you’re a repeat visitor