If Pokedex Entries Were Literal (Volume 64)

Goldeen, Goldeen, Goldeen, Gol-deeeeen...I'm begging of you please don't take my HP.
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[@jaredcook4414]

In the Goldeen lover’s community, evolving into Seaking is the equivalent of an elderly male celebrity’s girlfriend turning 26

[@yves331]

Same, I pretend Seaking never exists in my memory. Goldeen is just too pretty to evolve into that ugly fish.

[@klop4228]

Doesn't Seaking have its own fandom, split between fin- and horn-lovers?

[@jaredcook4414]

@@klop4228 Yeah. They’re the collector’s equivalent of cougars

[@LillyP-xs5qe]

And now you made it worse....

[@EJAXK13]

Didn’t they do a part where they explain that nobody give two shits about Seakings? Yeah. That’s episode 51.

[@thedude1302]

Ah yes, the ultimate counter to water pokemon: bug types

[@mee091000]

Lol

[@garcruncher7271]

I near had an aneurysm.

[@youtubestudiosucks978]

Wait, whut? Most water types are fish and fish usually win against insects.

[@darwinxavier3516]

Cuz bugs _never_ drown constantly.

[@Historicutuber]

I had no idea

[@TotallyNotRedneckYall]

Ok, the spin on "Jolene" was freaking great. Whoever wrote that deserves all the cookies.

[@DannyClayton93]

'please don't evolve it just because you caaaan'

[@julscatten2640]

Omg I was cracking up

[@AOverload]

Enchanting with your lengthy horn, Your fins would do real well in porn, My every thought of you is too obscene. You're swimming wild in springs and ponds, And when enclosed you will abscond, I hope you choose to stay with me Goldeen.

[@NoProGaming]

@@DannyClayton93 He talks about them in his sleep And there's nothing he can do to keep From crying when I call the police Goldeen

[@Wee2Yang]

I don't understand the joke

[@NightShadow720]

"HERACROSS has THE HEEBIE JEEBIES!" is actually pretty hilarious.

[@upscale9109]

Bro traumatized after that

[@skyender8353]

I can't wait for the day we get Scarlet/Violet literal entries. Dorkly never dissapoints

[@MeowthRocket]

I just want to see what happens with Meowth's entry! He SO deserves one!

[@charlesdarwin9830]

I don't think we've gotten entries for the pokemon introduced in gens 7 or 8 yet though. Which is remarkable since according to their official entries, Alcremie and Polteageist will let humans who gain their trust eat and drink them and children will eat the skin on Appletun's back as a snack. It's crazy, a lot of the entries Dorkly uses are made up for comedic purposes but Game Freak still creates pokedex entries more fucked up than these guys ever could.

[@xdsc96]

@@charlesdarwin9830 no I believe the entries they use are from the actual games 🤔 The entries vary depending on the generation.

[@elijahfoltz3755]

@@charlesdarwin9830 I don't know how to tell you this, but Dorkly don't make up any of these Pokédex entries. They're all existing entries from the games.

[@Davtwan]

@@charlesdarwin9830 - Probably not wise to eat Alcremie though as a single ice cream missile is about 50,000 pounds of fat on an average metabolism. Well, there’s the double entry for Dorkly.

[@angeldog4091]

Finally, I’ve been awoken from my infinite slumber, which could’ve only been broken by dorkly posting a literal Pokédex entries…

[@sovietmaori]

Ayo same. It's like 6:30am

[@FiFiTheFish]

Goldeen

[@friedchicken37]

It’s about time you have waken up, AngelDog. The Council has been impatiently awaiting your arrival.

[@WinstontheClown]

your infinite slumber was only for 2 weeks

[@Blaze4ification]

Awoken for 3 minutes... then back to infinite slumber for 2 weeks... sounds nice, not 1000 years like Jirachi nice, but still nice.

[@drakeware655]

When have Bug-types had a type advantage against Water-types?

[@SufferingSuccotash]

Just now.

[@sharingheart13]

You fell for his trap! Leaving purposeful incorrect information in a video is an excellent way to farm for comments and take advantage of the algorithm!

[@bubalackgaming8892]

@@sharingheart13 OH SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT WE FELL FOR IT

[@drakeware655]

@@sharingheart13 I wasn't trying to set a trap 😅. Heracross said he had a type advantage against Goldeen, and all I could ask was, "Since when?"

[@anonamously5858]

@@drakeware655 no dorkly set the trap. You’re the victim.

[@WillKeaton]

Was totally expecting the second entry to be about Seaking, and that trainer being super disappointed that his Goldeen evolved.

[@JuMiKu]

And then... He becomes a creepy horn-enthusiast.

[@Tzgrey77]

@@JuMiKu so your saying he's super Horn-y - I'll leave now

[@amandamakin1542]

Watch out Rhydons & Nidorans! The creepy Goldeen maniac is coming!

[@xdsmile5359]

Horn drill...0_0

[@davidhenry8750]

Evolved into Steve Urkel at that.

[@pyrosnineActual]

The human operator was very smoothly animated! I was expecting something more simple, but the same polish and detail you use for the Pokemon and SD characters being used on a more realistic human face blew me away! Bug catcher and Jr trainer are like "Yeah, we keep bugs and talk about shorts, but at least we've never given our yokai goldfish implants."

[@zerosumgame5700]

I noticed that their Human animations were really on point for pixel graphics when they did Unown's entry. The folks reading the wall, in just the little animation that it did, they were very smooth.

[@Drixenol86]

I love how in the Anime when someone sends Goldeen on land, it just flips around like an actual fish out of water..😂

[@zsewqthewolf1194]

in sun and moon magiccrap is a farming fish plants them and water them and everything

[@B1TCH35ANDWH0R3S]

As well as in Smash Bros

[@LemurFrenzy212]

Goldeen, Goldeen, Goldee-n GOLDEEEEEEN was the Dolly Parton song I never knew I needed.

[@sojoboscribe1342]

If the trainer loved some other aquatic Pokémon, I guess the next line is "Don't be takin my Mantine."

[@emperora9]

Just a friendly note: Goldeen knows a move called Peck. Peck is a Flying type move. Heracross is a Bug/Fighting type Pokémon. That last Goldeen was 30 levels higher than the Heracross. Let that sink in.

[@Muriuki34]

@Maykon Henrique Mendes Peck being one of Goldeen few naturally coverage moves, it's more likely than not to stay, in main story playthroughs tbh

[@lonestargamer7934]

one shot K.O!!!! and then some

[@kanwalicious3144]

peck is 4x effective, Goldeen doesn't even need to be of that high a level to OHKO it into oblivion

[@GamerJulian94]

@@kanwalicious3144 Assuming perfect IVs and no EVs and neutral nature, Goldeen needs to be Level 63 to have an absolutely guaranteed OHKO on a Level 34 Heracross.

[@konradbrown6190]

lvl 62 goldeen with peck+lvl 34 heracross=DEATH AND DESTRUCTION

[@briannaaaron6804]

I lost it when the creepy trainer started belting out "Goldeen!" to the tune of "Jolene". 🤣

[@konradbrown6190]

Dont trust the other dude that rly sus

[@trentonrouse1627]

It would've been funny if the last Goldeen was just a magicarp in a wig calling itself goldeen

[@summertime6785]

1:26 Heracross *literally* made the right call. 2:06 *Mario reference!*

[@Kaito57]

Oh dear, George... what have they done to you... ?

[@ViperousVT]

Given the fact most NPC have the most funny/weird dialogs this guy obsession with Goldien would totally fit in with the actual cannons of the games 😆🤣

[@velvety2006]

shorts are comfy and easy to wear anyone :P

[@wind64a39]

Could even be Mightyena boyfriend lady's grandson.

[@yves331]

No wonder Goldeen have been my fave pokemon since gen 1 lol. And the Goldeen Goooldeeen is so funny lmao, Jolene song really fits it.

[@wyattmiranda3484]

Dorkly never disappoints

[@MayorofLloydfordoffice]

Never does.

[@MayorofLloydfordoffice]

@Don't Read My Profile Photo Who's gonna do??

[@PinkSneaselGirl]

You literally almost killed me with that Jolene parody. I could not breathe for a solid minute.XD

[@kyro7482]

What is this Jolene song?

[@PinkSneaselGirl]

@@kyro7482 Look up the Dolly Parton song Jolene. It's really good.XD

[@kyro7482]

@@PinkSneaselGirl oh thanks!

[@neilusdin2389]

This MIGHT just be one of the most disturbing episodes Dorkly has done. And I thank him for it.

[@darshakparikh5908]

I beg to differ. On the Dorkly disturbing scale, this is like a 2.

[@caitlynstarrparrish]

Yeah tbh this was a surprisingly tame episode. No gore or anything.

[@HornedSerpent86]

I beg to differ the episodes with Diglett now those are disturbing

[@neilusdin2389]

@@caitlynstarrparrish You know, disturbing doesn't always have to have violence or gore. You forget about psychological disturbing.

[@Burning-Twilight]

I'd say the one with the Dragonair was the most disturbing one for the Pokemon anyways. Seriously i really didn't feel comfortable watching through the whole thing. And i have seen my fair share of creepy stuff through various forms of media.

[@o0bookwyrmknight0o]

I hope this Heracross is a regular character who identifies and report trainers when they are being creepy.

[@Toxic3610]

They aren’t running out of ideas for these videos Also This guy is really creepy, and poor George

[@videakias3000]

For the next pokedex entries you should combine the annihilape with meganium. According to the pokedex entries mankie was a pokemon that went mad easily. Primape was constantly angry, in fact it got so angry that it died, but its anger did not perish, in fact its anger gave it power that exceeds the boundaries of its physical body so it became the ghost type annihilape. And meganium is apparently the only pokemon that can calm down this beast with her aroma.

[@DoodleThis]

Thank you Dorkly for always making Saturdays a little more special

[@Ditto.007]

agreed, he is a legend

[@walteririzarry7380]

George with that "I'm a pretty, pretty princess" line was Hannibal Lector like. I can't tell if he's an evil genius and the most dangerous pokemon on the planet, or been through too much and its destroyed his sanity making him the most pokemon on the planet.

[@PgLangGang]

“I’ll go get our bags.”😂😂😂

[@animegx45]

Oh my. Wonder what Seaking is like. "Looks up their pokedex entry" Oh, that's kind of wholesome actually.

[@RTD_Dev]

That last entry on Goldeen just raises *SO* many questions…

[@Zackriel_the_rabbit]

Finally, my favorite Pokemon gets attention in "If Pokedex Entries Were Literal" (I'm talking about Heracross)

[@MCDexpo]

I love the plot twist at the end... I won't spoil it for obvious reasons, but it is makes the entire video worth it

[@timwoods2852]

I saw the length of their horns and I was like, "Pretty sure those are male Goldeen." And I was right! Way to pay attention to detail Dorkly! 👏👏👏

[@BigCaj]

since when were Bug Types strong against Water Types?

[@rontheauraknight9606]

My question as I monotype bug competitvly lol. I’ve been lied to for years

[@ddylan615]

poor heracross he is completely it's not what to do, plus he did well to call an agency for pokemon protection, heracross is really a good guy

[@TheAllSeeingEye2468]

Poor George. He'll never be the same

[@nerty6]

I’m a pretty princess

[@jiado6893]

1:13 With Heracross’s line, you did a good job portraying how unbalanced people will switch the subject around before the rant is complete.

[@dark14life]

It only took like 5 seconds for this to get really weird. A new Dorkly record.

[@AnxietyGamer956]

The fact that the more makeup and craziness it has on, the higher the level

[@zolazar6928]

Dorkly, the way Heracross was explaining that "bugs have a type advantage against water" was too meta, you're making it too obvious, they're gonna find out XD

[@bahamutShin]

care to explain? I don't get it.

[@ConnorMcSchrosch]

@@bahamutShin Heracross said that bug pokemon are usually supposed to be strong against water types, which is most likely a trick to raise the algorithm because people will comment on it to point out the mistake, Zolazar just said it was too obvious but we kinda still fell for it in a way xD

[@ClefairyFairySnowflake]

This has got to be one of the cutest episodes yet! I love it!

[@xiimooniixmoon2988]

Cute isn't the word

[@விஷ்ணு_கார்த்திக்]

We've got another one.

[@turboferret3582]

I laughed at the trainer singing "Jolene" but as golden during the phone call 😆

[@mirjanbouma]

Another masterpiece, you never disappoint!

[@chriscooper4701]

Awesome as always!

[@RezeedTheDataspirit]

You can count on Dorkly on making good pokemon skits.

[@chiefiboko8747]

Dorkly just makes my day

[@deathsnitemaresinfullust2269]

All this video did was make me want a Super Mario themed fish tank. 😄👍

[@Bluedrag0n36]

I love when every volume drops. They’re always spot on

[@ltbeefy9054]

Love all these. But this had to be one of the top ones of them recently.

[@peterstoric6560]

It finally happened, we officially have a stack of Pokédex videos

[@lanigirognithemos]

When he started singing ♪Goldeen Goldeen♪ that really got me LMAO! Also "I'm a pretty princess" 🤣🤣🤣

[@rico_561]

I love that goldeen is a fish but it is on land in games

[@ZyxieRumor]

Meanwhile the trainer is just spectating to see how this all plays out.

[@michma121]

Just when you think Dorkly can't one up their previous disturbing video they go ahead and succeed.

[@ANT-zc8es]

George is a pretty princess

[@goldencascade5710]

If anyone's creeped out by this, just remember that in a previous entry, someone wanted to make love with a Milotic. Which was like, 30 volumes ago. So uh...why not do the same for some goldfish?

[@ypob2007]

The goldeen version of “jolene” was great, loved it

[@justindixon1586]

Pokémon protective services to busy protecting goldeens to think of team rocket

[@luisemoralesfalcon4716]

I love that cute fish.

[@Roxas_XIII_13]

I needed more and here we are

[@ItaiPatai]

"I know that bug types like myself are normally strong against water types", you WHAT?!

[@nujabeslistener]

What would make this perfect is if it was officer Jenny who responded to the phone call.

[@bboyhanvzla]

I've never imagined that Goldeen was a carassius, even when carassius are commonly known as "goldfish"

[@Zaxlfang]

exactly one stack of literal pokedex entries, now that's satisfying =D

[@magixgworl]

Him singing ‘Jolene’ made this funnier

[@guillermorojaszamora]

Lmao , this week was a great one !

[@christiancrusader1481]

Ok this one goes into the epic section of Dorkly vids, right next to the one with Diglett butt vid that my friend loves so much.

[@Morboeatspeople]

The fact that every episode ends with Peanut Butter is truly magical.

[@AscendtionArc]

Thanks for this.

[@sergiosilvestri5147]

George's face 🤣

[@insanemang9983]

Never fails to make cursed pokemon videos

[@danielpeare8364]

Ok this was the best one yet

[@Itsscottstudios]

This series will never get old!

[@TheMamaluigi300]

1:22 Imagine if the sight of the third goldeen straight-up causes Heracross a OHKO heart attack

[@dirtydiesel1149]

Y'all must have been on the ground laughing while coming up with this one 🤣🤣

[@paulwilking9696]

There is one big thing I want GF to do on Scarlet/Violet. On the northeastern corner of the Paldea map, it looks like it connects to something that is not on the map. And we should know what nation is over there. Players should be able to cross those mountains all the way to the Kalos region. You can then challenge those gyms like you did all the way back in Gen 2. Because Kalos is connected, there should be a return of mega evolution. Why stop at Kalos? We should also know what is north of France. We get to visit Galar as well. Visiting three regions in one game would be pretty huge.

[@Galavantworks]

I honestly wish Bug types were super effective against water types

[@scissordemonsuya7417]

Why is this my favorite out of all the literal entries

[@10191927]

I can’t wait to see Wiglett

[@kingxenomorph4702]

Heracross is like every Pokémon fan rolled into one that found that weird part of the Pokémon fanart on deviantart

[@carlthompson4494]

Awesome channel

[@chimeraart3737]

R bug types actually effective against water types?

[@aayushsharma1196]

Nope they are actually neutral to each other

[@chimeraart3737]

@@aayushsharma1196 oh ok thnx

[@davidshillaker7578]

Oh GOD! I'm going to go have nightmares tonight. That was more disturbing than what I am used to

[@michelnewcomb9860]

Pretty much sums up one disturbing part of the Pokémon fandom (with all species).

[@delireent.3960]

- I love Dolly Parton ! Especially her song Gooldeen! - You mean Jolene - No ! I mean Goldeen! - Wut - 1:44 -... I'm pretty sure this is not the right lyrics but anyway

[@mgc5251]

I live for these videos

[@sleepyboythegamer8973]

Yay new one

[@CandieWong]

xD had to watch it immediately after the notification

[@Sesameking482]

We're getting pretty close

[@DonoZeek]

That Goldeen with the hair looked like it had SEEN things. It's even mindeffed. What did the trainer do to them?

[@landenbarten994]

Ah yes, the long awaited stack of literal pokedex entries.

[@shadowdragonlord2295]

1:49 Operator: Be strong sir. And we'll pay for your therapy.

[@Xander_the_great]

Glad to see heracross make an appearance, he’s my favorite

[@NightShadow720]

NGL, that guy has a serious fetish for Goldeens. And poor George for the way he, or she, looks now.

[@neogotham2k395]

That's a great way to start for October, I think.

[@Lobster_Dance]

Really enjoyed the Golden song spliced in. Very funny

[@franceskinskij]

this series is just never ending

[@bubalackgaming8892]

Bug types aren't strong against Water types but yeah this was a funny one

[@yasminemobley7858]

Him singing Goldeen to the tune of Jolene floored me! Lol!

[@Jayzgame]

Holy shit, how much I lost it when he started singing Jolene

[@AegixDrakan]

The "Jolene / Goldeen" gag going on in the background was friggin GENIUS, yo. XD