IFS Therapy DEMO #1

[@jimmilne19]

Living in a remote area of the world without access to IFS trained therapists makes this video recording an amazing source of learning and encouragement for me. I am trying to treat myself in the hope that I can in some small way help others. Thank you for this gift. Thank you!

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Thank you for this feedback Jim! I hope you can connect with an IFS therapist somehow! 😊

[@RobenArjen]

@@empowermentaftertrauma7812 can I have ifs sessions

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Hi Robin, I just saw this now, sorry for the delay, you can email me at [e-mail]

[@ralfwashington1502]

I particularly like this session over others on KZbin because he seems more unsure and cautious. I can see myself more in his demeanor then the others. Maybe IFS will help. Thanks to both of you for the session!

[@ChannelMath]

i kind of agree. Some almost seem fake they have such easy access to parts. but this guy is unfortunately also a therapist so it still seems a little facile

[@kathleenbrady9916]

An honest guy and a fearless, sensitive therapist. Excellent work.

[@nwunnoticewhatyounotice6136]

Your way-of-being is healing. I esp noticed it from about 11:50-13:40. 'Oh so THAT is what it sounds like and feels like to really accept oneself...... Ohhhhhhhh nowwww I get it. ' All the space you gave, after, too, allows it to become embodied, I felt. Wow. You're amazing at this.

[@leeboriack8054]

Dr. Chaya, to you and your client, thank you for sharing this incredibly informative session. Your compassion and intelligence offer so much hope.

[@celiastevens4058]

Love this so much. What an amazing demo. And I love that the client is not convinced because I feel like that sometime so it's super helpful to see the example 😊

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Thank you Celia! 😊

[@jeremypiles1787]

@@empowermentaftertrauma7812 turns out, this is your husband, right? Seems like a reasonable thing to disclose.

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

@@jeremypiles1787 yes! It’s not easy finding willing participants for a live therapy session, he’s a therapist too and offered to do this for me

[@jeremypiles1787]

@@empowermentaftertrauma7812 I found out about IFS when Dick was on the Tim Ferriss show. Your demo was the 3rd demo I watched, and it really made a lot of things cement. The historical burden and the agreed exchange was especially helpful to see. I'm not a therapist by trade, but I follow along in spirit and do my best for others, and I led my friend through IFS for about an hour after I watched your demo. He wept, was elated, was amazed, inspired. IFS is so powerful, imho. Traditional talk therapy may take many sessions to make a meaningful change. IFS can be offered to a stranger, and the process is the same. It teaches the Self how to do this method for themselves. And, the somatic component strongly reinforces the healing. I'm convinced. Thank you!

[@pksteinhrv]

This was so beautifu!! It got me in touch with how much confusion I felt about wanting to reject the burdens that came with identifying with being Jewish and Jewish traditions. I should have been fluent in Yiddish, since my mother and grandparents, who lived in the same duplex spoke it all the time, as did many of my relatives, but part of me refused to become fluent, even after I was sent to after school classes to learn it. Other kids there were fluent. I feel uncomfortable with the Jewish holidays and traditions, and we were not observant or believers and neve went to temple. My mother's attitude was that nothing I was going thru was important because the comparison group was the suffering of the Jewish people... pogroms, holocause, anti-semitism, etc. This demo will be a major trailhead for me to sort out what has been in background all my life and maybe allow me to decide, from self, how I want to be Jewish. Thank you!!!

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Phyllis, what a surprise, thank you for sharing! Blessings for healing (unburdening) of all legacy burdens!

[@danielstockley5631]

Little wonder you rejected religiosity and tradition given your mother's overbearing use of relative privation to belittle your experiences.

[@Be1More]

wow, that's good sharing

[@letypineda5839]

Thanks for sharing! Fantastic demo. We (a latin american community) are having a workshop with Richard Schwartz at the end of this month and we are Thrilled!

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Thank you Lety! Send my best wishes to Dick, he knows me well. Enjoy the workshop, it will be awesome! 😊

[@pennysharland5433]

You are an amazing therapist! So perceptive. I found this absolutely inspiring.

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Thank you Penny!

[@90qwertys]

Although I would have used a different method and process to access the exile, the way she used indirect access to have the client interact with the old wound was wonderful.The third grader had so much to say and that's so significant. When he said, "he just needs time to play," I teared up. That's so powerful. I also love when the tool transformed into a clothespin and the job changed. That is true transformational change.

[@LemisaSelimi]

I LOVE THIS!!! Thank you very much for sharing it! 😊🥰

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

So glad!

[@katrinahadland]

Brilliant demo. So helpful!! Thanks.

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Thank you Katrina, much appreciated 😊

[@Ginnytonny]

Loved watching this session, thank you both for the openness and vulnerability

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@HenockTesfaye]

Beautiful! I'm happy for you, man.

[@PropheticCoachTheresa]

Thanks for sharing this, really helpful to continue learning how to share this work with clients!

[@royce6485]

I get why people get annoyed with this type of therapy. The therapists insist that any negative emotion is a “part” but any positive emotion is the “self”. I don’t know if I totally subscribe to this, but that’s why I’m really loving this upload! It’s way more realistic. If I only ever saw perfect IFS sessions, I would hate myself so much when my session is difficult. I love how he kept at it despite the difficulty, and how both therapists had patience. Edit: of course with it being a demo, its still staged but like, it is what it is

[@fpalisse]

I don't see it this way. I have an excited part (that gets carried away by things) and a part that is in love with my rebel part (that is really a manager). The Self is that non judgemental witness in meditation that can see thoughts and understands they are separate than self. Self is simply the witness. The witness can be understanding, compassionate, accepting without judgement, curious, and present. Positive emotions can def be parts, but may not be parts one feels the need to change unless there is some troubling aspect to the positive part - ie the people pleasing part and the overcompensator can feel burnt out.

[@reln72]

It may be a demo but its not staged. this is a very real IFS session. At least it seems like it is.

[@royce6485]

@@reln72 i actually thought so too until i read another comment or the description saying its staged. Really shocked me but made sense

[@ChannelMath]

totally. I wouldn't say "staged" like he's lying, but this guy is unfortunately also a therapist so it still seems a little facile

[@lucieaw]

therapists have parts too and all therapists engage in therapy to keep us and our clients safe. I am pretty sure hes not making this up. Hes just helping generously and courageously to do a demo. Thats my take anyway. @@ChannelMath

[@julesglitter]

I am going to start IFS and this was very informative. Helps me know what to expect. Ty.

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Glad it was helpful!

[@effortless4588]

Such a strong kan! And thank you so much for being great at this and helping him!

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Our pleasure!

[@aussieannie01]

Fascinating stuff. Thanks to you and your patient for sharing.

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Thank you! See the commentary published this week! 😊

[@d4rkj0y]

I just discovered IFS this morning. I'm an ADHD coach, I love this process, already. Just watched a demo before this with Dr Schwartz which was amazing! This one though resonated with me so much from the eye contact to the fear of manipulation to the legacy burdens. It seemed like it brought up some of my parts, almost like they were listening and going “yes! yes!” We are so glad you found that first clamp that nearly got lost or left out!🤣 Your insight, skill and holding space is so on point! Thank you so much for this demo. I know it's preferred to see a therapist but can some work be done by/on oneself? Thanks again🙏🏾

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Yes, some people do IFS work on their own!

[@butterflymagicwithhottea9291]

This really helped to put the theory into practice. Will be watching it more than once, for sure. Thank you.

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Awesome, thank you!

[@darinsmith2458]

I have been bouncing between Internal Family Systems and Bowen Family Systems. I can relate to both. I am also in ACA. What I like about IFS is that I can label a part without actually knowing what that part is. I have difficulty in ACA knowing my parts. The Bowen Family Systems shows why we get all the parts and then what approach to use in dealing with those parts. I do agree with Richard Schwartz about when we get good at this we become our own Therapist..

[@mazsroy9]

It’s obvious the therapist is still learning and shows in how she works with the patient. But they got to where he needed to go as she stayed with the process. The patient gave good feedback and asked for clarification. Now he can work on his codependency.

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Always learning. Especially about a spouse of 34 years

[@jeremypiles1787]

It's been 1 year. Can we have an update of this man's life? Thank you.

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

He’s never been better.

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

He’s doing very well and eye contact is much improved!

[@schapiroshosh]

Wow ! What an awesome session. Beautiful work the 2 of you! But wow chaya !

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Thank you Shoshi!

[@greglucas1878]

This was helpful. Thank you!

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

So glad!

[@vaishalivaidya7978]

Id love to learn the IFS method of therapy...along with intergating the Shadow Work, inner child healing and learning about how to heal the intergenerational trauma/s

[@em-rw5qz]

There's a book self therapy by jay earley that brought me here. I got the audiobook but just ordered the physical book and there's a workbook too. Both for about $30. I highly recommend it, this video was really helpful too because the interaction feels more genuine than the audiobook but i think I really understand the process now

[@aninsidestory]

Thank you for this demo. I was curious about IFS and now I have a clearer picture.

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Thank you for this feedback, Chris! 😊

[@jeremypiles1787]

This is great. Thank you, both.

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Sorry for the delay Jeremy, I appreciate the feedback! 😊

[@merishormeri57]

thank you for this video! very useful!

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@franceslock1662]

If he prioritized his inner child he could schedule time to go to the beach and play with the children in his family. He could plan his vacations so they met this need for himself and his family in the real world. Chances are the family all need it. Ongoing self love without guilt, for maintenance, can include and benefit the family.

[@danielfrazer3924]

Is the talking to parts meant to be a sort of active imagining?

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Its a way to be in relationship to different (at times conflicting) Parts of one's Self, a process of developing a "Self-to-Part relationship".

[@dsigal8640]

Thank you for making this video. I'm watching now for the first time a video of IFS therapy. It was very informative. My question is what happened with the long scroll of fears, I don't understand how this got resolved?

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

The specific fears on the scroll were not a part of the therapy session except for the demands to be safe and not to be mocked however they were addressed internally.

[@MysticUser]

I know this is an old video... but is it weird that I had to stop watching the video when they started talking about the upset, scared little part...? Because it was too close to home and personal for my little part, Enari. :( We started crying.... A whole bunch of exchanges between my parts happened after that but yeah, might have to watch this demonstration some other time...

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Thank you for sharing! Glad this video touched you and your younger parts and facilitated some deep connection. 🌺

[@BetterDays_Now]

add and ADHD sometimes have trouble looking directly into someone's eyes.

[@lindarivadeneyralmft6417]

Excellent session. Thank you. Linda Rivadeneyra, LMFT

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Thank you Linda, I appreciate the feedback!

[@Hendricana]

So helpful 💕🏝💕

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Thank you Hendricana!

[@antoinettewilson3118]

Fantastic!

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Thank you for this feedback Antoinette!

[@TheEontraveler]

Masterpiece.

[@effortless4588]

35:20

[@another_one2852]

Edit: OOHHH! It’s visualization based! Oh… that sucks.. well, I’m glad it helps other people. I have no ability to actually visualize things. When my eyes close I only see black. . . A SHAPE? A a a…. Color??? What does that mean y’all? I don’t get it, I’m sorry. None of this makes any sense, and I was really excited to learn about this but now I’m just confused and sad 😞

[@aliviaj.d.6772]

Hii! I think there are ways around that. I also have no ability to visualize (Aphantasia) and I was able to learn a lot through this! For me it was more the ideas formed off the reactionary feelings and concepts, not necessarily just a visualization. Idk if that helps but I relate so I wanted to respond

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Checking in, did you try IFS? 😊

[@johnoosterhuis6174]

You definitely don't have to visualize these things. Parts can talk to you visually, in dialogue, or even in sensations. I have personally found that some parts don't manifest visually until later!

[@cakepudding3220]

I have trapped childhood trauma in my gut. Chronic bloating and have just started IFS therapy. I struggle to access any parts as my self won’t allow it to and find it hard to get into it

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

It’s not your Self not allowing access, it’s a Part. Find out why that Part does not allow access, there’s a good reason. Extend honor, respect and appreciation to the Part and then see what happens next. Good luck on your IFS Journey!

[@cakepudding3220]

@@empowermentaftertrauma7812 Thank you. I guess it’s my manager/protector which won’t allow my exile (inner child) to talk during therapy x

[@insertmyidentityhere]

You just need to let one rip…..😂

[@cakepudding3220]

@@insertmyidentityhere If only it was that simple

[@mama_crea]

I have the feeling this is Ericksonian Hypnosis.

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

I was not trained in Ericksonian Hypnosis so I can’t comment but feel free to elaborate

[@morningglory.213]

wait.. can i do ifs if i have aphantasia? is it fine if i cant visualise it?

[@effortless4588]

You dont have to visualize things clear as day i dont think i have aphantasia but there is concern about my visualization skills sometimes, you just get the feel for it

[@christinamarg8368]

Well structured! Well orchestrated and well fascillated IFS. Are you from Israel?

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Thank you Christina! I live NY and also practice in Florida

[@annaavizur178]

I am watching this now and looking for a therapist in Israel who works on Zoom, in English and is part Maccabi Healthcare. Hoping somebody sees this and can help🙏

[@empowermentaftertrauma7812]

Have you done a search on the IFS institute website?

[@annaavizur178]

@@empowermentaftertrauma7812 Yes! And i found someone!! Rachel Friedlander. We will have our second session today. :) Thank you!