Iliza Shlesinger - Women Get Uglier by the Minute

[@stevekirkpatrick1612]

I will always love her effortless voice changes. Normal talk to an enraged "it's ruined Scott!" no cool down straight back to normal talk. Normal voice to soulless computer. She didn't do any animal screeching in this bit, but even that. That's a fine talent to have, especially if you also have friends and like to pull the occasional fast one on them.

[@generalbismark7163]

I got to give props to the moving around like that with those heals on. Like seriously decent bits and the rest but the hopping around in those heals without busting an ankle bravo. Those things look like a broken ankle walking normally, doing all that nevermind hungover.

[@jenniferaashiem6165]

It was talent for sure, but I’m sure she wasn’t really hungover. It just helped her story.

[@lindsayalisonstevens3592]

“Homeostasis achieved.” I live for those 4 minutes every day 😂😂😂

[@ksy4747]

I am by no means this neurotic about my appearance, but I ABSOLUTELY relate and know EXACTLY what she is talking about. I HATE when I start messing with my make up. It's always same story too. I have plenty of time, but then somewhere down the line the make up isn't turning out as perfect as I envisioned so I start trying to course correct..and the more I'm trying to fix it, the worse it gets until I have 5 minutes left until I have to leave my house and I look like I need another hour to look human again. It's HORRIBLE! HAHAH

[@Nina94771]

YESSS 🥲

[@josephcottenii8463]

"Homeostasis achieved" Brilliant. Brava, Iliza Schlesinger!

[@princenwokocha77]

And the accent she did it in was top teir !!!

[@sydneysitwala]

The way she can walk in heels is pretty amazing

[@d.e.b.b5788]

Practice.

[@rjwasser8312]

One thing I love about Iliza is her delivery. I don't care what anyone says: I get some serious Robin Williams vibes from her, and I'm here for it.

[@maxbehymer8535]

3:52 this bit especially is very Robin Williams

[@mollusckscramp4124]

Out of left field and delusional comparison, they're not even close

[@hillarycourchaine6829]

Totally agree 💯

[@ponygirlusa]

No.

[@EJofLA]

I get serious Whitney Cumming vibes.

[@NellLashay]

She's so funny! The crowd did not give her enough

[@paulripp8802]

“If he calls himself an ‘Alpha,’ *kiss* he’s a beta.” - Iliza Shlesinger

[@Levan4KGaming]

Love her she is so funny

[@MichealSchroeder-b9k]

This is good advice for either men or women, "Never ever be the smartest person in your squad, because when you are incapacitated it is your squad that will be taking care of you!" My squad almost killed me on my 21st birthday and since then I have never been the smartest person in my squad.

[@adrianignat84]

Love her, she's my favourite female comedian ❤️

[@AgentAika001]

Taylor Tomlinson

[@thomaslemon3971]

@@AgentAika001 Amen, she’s the best.

[@Liv-or5ci]

@@AgentAika001for me it’s both for sure!

[@VictoriaSobocki]

Good set

[@bernadinhotan7870]

God, this world class top notch humour is just lost on this crowd. Heartbreaking

[@zugzug6773]

it's lost on everyone I remember the first time I watched Bill Burr knowing nothing at all about him and I laughed until I cried. I haven't even chuckled and have taken to reading the comments while she's still going.

[@bernadinhotan7870]

@@zugzug6773 you laugh-cried at Bill Bur? Yeah, I can see that.

[@zugzug6773]

@@bernadinhotan7870 to each their own I suppose I just always suspect the people who clai to find this lady funny wanted to have sex with her 10 years ago.

[@annaburns2865]

It’s not lost on people. It’s just not needed to survive. And when everyone is in survival mode, things like this just arent valued. She’s very good at what she does though. I wish her the best.

[@ponygirlusa]

​@@zugzug6773Hahaha Bill Burr is the best!

[@AF-mz8qx]

SPARKLEFISH ✨💀

[@sproutbliss]

🙌

[@zugzug6773]

I feel like the laughter was polite.

[@hillarycourchaine6829]

Absolutely love her comedy, she's hilarious.

[@robertkerby2581]

Hilariously funny! I love, love, love Iliza!

[@MrsShroff]

Bravo!!

[@daniellancaster4161]

Oh the fineness!!!!

[@SMHman666]

Oh, the simping!!!

[@daniellancaster4161]

Oh I know it lol!!

[@SMHman666]

@@daniellancaster4161 If I was 20 years younger...... I'd still be too old for her, lol.

[@einundsiebenziger5488]

finesse*

[@daniellancaster4161]

I mean, she is sooo fine, she is fine-ness, not finesse

[@rachelcrossen8136]

How do you spend an hour on just make up?

[@Liv-or5ci]

Liquid eyeliner and lash application takes me 30 minutes bc I have a tremor

[@KimCruzes]

First you Wash your face and neck well, possibly Exfoliate but Not with those soaps that have crunchy little rocks in them those are proven to be detrimental to your skin and tear it so small you can't see it's torn. Then either wax stray hairs, nare, shave or tweeze or even Dermaplane all stray hairs in the face or neck region, if any. Then you Pat dry with a microfiber cloth before you apply Moisturizer. Let that set in a few seconds at least before going on to sunscreen. Some good moisturizers have the sunscreen in it already. Then there's this special ingredient most people skip that goes on the skin after moisturizer called Toner which helps the makeup last longer and apply evenly. Next comes Foundation. Most people seem really into contouring... Actually, there's lots of tutorials on here for the next partsv with the contouring and blush and shadows and eyeliner and mascara and I'm no pro.bLook it up here on KZbin? and I don't even wear makeup like that yet but I won't sneer either cause I know youth is Fleeting for all and one day we'll all be glad we paid attention

[@KimCruzes]

Sorry, my step mother has spent an hour in her makeup before being seen for DECADES now and I'm just waiting for the day when I have to "put my face on" too, to feel pretty anymore lol

[@Liv-or5ci]

@@KimCruzes I thought you were replying to me based on the way my notifications showed up and I was like “oh no what shitstorm did I start on KZbin last night” lmao PHEW go off!!!

[@dannybattinieri5118]

By making it a fun ritual

[@b.9724]

I take roughly 10 minutes to do my makeup, maybe 30 on a day where I'm really taking my time or doing eyeshadow for a special event, but i knew a girl who took 3 hours every day no matter what and we both worked at an Amazon factory at the time. Blew my mind

[@bensatterfield367]

Good chewing stock 😂

[@EJofLA]

Funny and fascinating. Thank you Iliza for making my extremes seem mild by comparison to you. I'd say you need therapy, but then you wouldn't be so dern amusing!

[@nunyobidness2358]

7/10 would apply "body glitter"

[@brandytheaddtolerator]

Found her through my sister. Would love to see her live :)

[@theresenydahl9531]

She nailed it😃😃😃😃😃

[@jaymilo8425]

I'd have to lie to my ex wife so she'd be ready in 3 hours...so dinner was at 4 pm🤣 ...poor kids were starving in the early years before Daddy figured out how to manipulate that woman

[@sativarosegold3604]

I hate women like that

[@KimCruzes]

Ew

[@imaginempress3408]

👀

[@lesley5914]

French Canadian - Grandpere

[@Deranged-Lemonade-Stand]

Ha that's fine. In fact you can pay for my face-lift along with my priorities in life.

[@deborahlarson2650]

I hate to say it, but I believe you are right on 😄🙄

[@tabormiston179]

The women I have dated were the one that were late! Two or more hours late!

[@ComedyDanks]

shes been a comedian for ten years apparently 😷

[@tamtam3606]

Well u got that u get to see the amount of stress i cause them

[@JakeTheSnake500]

She got the lower body of a thoroughbred! God bless her!

[@ponygirlusa]

More like a quarter horse. 🙄

[@jdblack9703]

She’s from Texas. Cowboys ride quarter horses.

[@gregharn1]

For most, right up to about 35. For the wealthy, maybe 50.

[@JohnnyKChop]

Terrible crowd

[@dorismcelroy4159]

💝 love her 💝

[@alandgomez5905]

Meh, I gave her a shot lol. Lated a good 2 minutes 😂

[@danidragonfly]

An hour?! Just for makeup?! As someone that wears a full beat daily this is not necessary. 🤦‍♀️

[@howesteve966]

My ex would take AT LEAST an hour to do her face. And another 30 minutes on her hair. She would take about 3 hours to fully get ready if she needed a shit, shower, and shave.

[@sativarosegold3604]

@@howesteve966 I see why she's an ex. It saves time to date a naturally attractive one

[@JIKitty]

@@sativarosegold3604 Or someone who is confident with looking average/just cute naturally.

[@melliferousanomaly561]

Nice BioDome reference!

[@shorditchiscool]

I thought I only immediately disliked men who call themselves ‘alphas’.. turns out it’s also women too

[@ponygirlusa]

It's hilarious - people who call themselves Alphas are definitely NOT.

[@sativarosegold3604]

Makeup should take 10-15 minutes tops. If it takes longer just give up because you'll scare him when he sees your real face

[@Bobtheturtle4698]

Definitely not true. I've spent an hour on makeup all the time and my boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful anyway and that I don't need the makeup. If you dont have a partner that's doing that then maybe you should get a different one. Also most of my partners have said this not just the current one. I dont think it's as big of a deal as you think it is

[@roselynmvm]

It should take 10-15 minutes for those that don’t know how to have fun. But for the rest of us it should take as long as we want 😅

[@ElshiBumcfksz]

​@@Givebackthescarf​​​ I wish I could give this comment a heart! Here it is ❤ I don't care about males opinion on my makeup I do it for myself and THE ART of it ! I do full hour makeup even when I stay at home, it's a therapy 😅

[@lady4191]

Works for you but that's not a universal truth

[@tisashakya4729]

I stopped wearing makeup cuz i realized i started to not like my face without it. Without it i feel undone. And yea its totally not our fault that makeup has become a part of most girls' lives, it is society's fault. It has made the beauty standards so absurdly high for women. I realized that i just refuse to accept it. So to the women reading this, if you wear makeup, are you really wearing it ONLY cuz you enjoy it, or do you feel incomplete or bad about yourself without it? Im not saying every girl who wears makeup doesnt like her natural face, but a lot of girls dont. I just feel like we should all collectively shut down these standards yknow? Make em realistic again.

[@fritsvanzanten3573]

For prevention's sake this video is only six minutes long?

[@eagleleathertradingco9795]

I was laughing at the first minute… I did not recognize her from the last video I saw of her but she is phenomenal what a specimen and oh yeah she’s funny… Don’t act like she’s not the hottest comedian you’ve ever seen… OK female stay with me I’m hetero just throwing that in there. Oh yeah she looks like breakfast lunch and dinner to me baby. OK so now I’m a creep lol. Just saying what a specimen come on not that I didn’t have a half a dozen women that look just like her in the 80s that’s right I’m 102… Rock on grandpa

[@heathertoribio5824]

An hour for makeup??? GD!

[@jesuisdenis5739]

I really like her. She's a brilliant comedy talent. I don't know if I'd want to date her, or marry her, but I REALLY like her.

[@TheSmitty890]

Her legs look amazing 🤩

[@PuppySubotic]

Saying you are the alpha means you are the beta.

[@photondebuger45]

She looks good in those jeans....

[@TheAlreadytaken24]

She projecting

[@KimCruzes]

FACTS ❤😂🎉😅

[@7thlady]

An hour? An HOUR? Jiminy Christmas, no wonder men think I'm cool wash-and-go chick. It's not like I wear NO makeup, but an HOUR! What is this, the 80's? I'm so confused right now.

[@MsJanetWood]

CLASSIC MAKEUP ROUTINE: 1. Cleanse face. 2. Add moisturizer. 3. Add foundation with a beauty blender. '4. Powder face with a powder puff. 5. Add blush on cheeks. 6. Add eyeshadow to lids. 7. Outline eyes with eyeliner. 8. Put on mascara. 9. Put on lipstick. 10. Spray on perfume. 11. Brush hair. Done! About an hour.

[@KimCruzes]

That's a cringey brag my friend. Calling oneself cool? Not cool lol

[@KimCruzes]

You're not doing it well then and who are you to judge the ones who took the time to learn proper skincare routines? From one who barely wears makeup btw, it's not a crime to do so. Careful not to judge or your wrinkles will come in faster

[@7thlady]

​@@KimCruzes Meh, I'm just repeating what I hear. Your mileage may vary, and some guys love a painted face that takes hours, but bear in mind that a lot of guys are absolutely not fans. It's a response to comic routine, btw, so don't take it all so seriously.

[@sandracastillo3317]

@@MsJanetWood don't forget concealer and color correcting. and half hour trying to put on false eyelashes and 15 extra minutes for eyebrows. Unfortunately,, I have none of either :( Today...did the routine but used wrong products or missed a step with my foundation or added to many products and it pilled. After all that I ended up having to wash most of it off. So this hits home...lol.

[@kevinmurdoch4184]

Damn. Her legs! 😍😍

[@TheTurinturumbar]

Soo, an hour late to see what you look like? Cool.

[@posthocprior]

Tough crowd.

[@samk4801]

Dayum! That was a LONG 6 minutes!!! I watched two other comics yesterday, one 45 minutes and one about an hour, and the time flew by. Because they were funny. This was just bad. (I used to be a big fan but her stuff the last couple of years has just been sad, not funny.) NOTE: One comic was Sam Morill (from 2020) and the other one was Sarah Millican, from the UK.

[@eargazms]

❤ Sam Morril ❤ I still don't comprehend how this broad won last comic standing.

[@skaybaltimore]

@@eargazms Facts! (And Sam has a new special out now!)

[@damiosibodu4382]

homeostasis

[@brontiq]

One HOUR for make up? Who needs an hour to do their make up??? If you need more than 10 minutes you're already over doing it

[@liquid6901]

She's great! sometimes comedy isn't just for men.

[@Hoganply]

Or people with senses of humour.

[@Leafygreenie]

Or women who don’t wear make up 😢 putting stuff on your face is a weird concept to me

[@KimCruzes]

​@@Givebackthescarfwhat in the actual? I hope you mean you don't get to erase women not just your color cause that's sick light skinned deserve to be loved too all women should unite there's a barrage of men pretending women suck for existing get with the program lol get right with Jesus

[@KimCruzes]

​@@Givebackthescarfignorance you say lol mirror time

[@zuzannakielar]

Agree but this is just not a good example.

[@Anonymity680]

ONE HOUR????? That’s 4% of your life you are giving to makeup! I thought she would say something like 10 minutes

[@anniejones3768]

Yeah but make up can be such a zen, arts and crafts type experience. I can listen to music/ podcasts or watch Netflix from my phone in the bathroom. I can take my time and get excited to go out. An hour is a long time for make up and definitely more than anyone needs, but that's probably the average prep time if you're leisurely getting ready

[@Liv-or5ci]

Oh you sweet summer child

[@KimCruzes]

That's not even close to right lol nice try though

[@phj223]

an hour to apply make up, oof o.O

[@adamspeaks6223]

Life after the WALL.

[@robcroft5132]

😂💙

[@cl7max]

Didn’t laugh once

[@Levipaulsen]

It's because you're in Chinatown

[@hatchhermit77]

@@Levipaulsen This reference was actually pretty funny. Funnier than the joke, imo.

[@bleepbloop9123]

mommy issues?

[@MrSanman28]

The reason she is not funny is because it all comes off as narcissistic.

[@jenshaw8085]

Nah it’s because you’re a man and you’re butthurt! She’s hilarious!

[@milfordjohnson2289]

she just get prettier by teh minute tho i not even jokimg😍

[@einundsiebenziger5488]

... the* minute. I'm* not even joking*. Don't type while driving!

[@milfordjohnson2289]

@@einundsiebenziger5488 i wasnt. i just really enjoy typing the as teh . dont discriminate whilst being really right!

[@milfordjohnson2289]

@@einundsiebenziger5488 also you wouldnt happen to know if shes looking for a pool boii or anything 🥰 i could like... clean her pool... make some money. and like... say hello when she gets home from work and that :)

[@francisd2086]

Just not fumny

[@an830]

👍👍😊🌠

[@misstee973]

How tf is she not married ??

[@liquidleopard4495]

I thought she was.

[@hirokomlm131]

She's not so much funny as she is just someone who likes to be the only one talking while an audience listens.

[@dade4537]

Yea ... white women.

[@thomaslemon3971]

I love Iliza on podcasts because she’s very intelligent and has a lot of great things to say. But her comedy is…meh.

[@KimCruzes]

She's hilarious it doesn't always have to be from a guys point of view. I laugh when men talk sometimes why is it so hard for your gender to try to lighten up and admit women are hilarious too I promise it doesn't make your side any less funny or worth less in any way

[@KimCruzes]

Just try to see things from another perspective like we do for y'all all the time lol

[@starshinestarbright964]

666 symbol

[@Sincerely_SweetAesthete]

I do not understand how she became a stand up comedian. At least her older stuff is somewhat funny. She just reminds me of a pick me.

[@laraparks7018]

An hour for make up? I'm a man woman I guess

[@sativarosegold3604]

Only if you're ugly or have crippling insecurity (unfortunately that's a large number of women)

[@Canyon2023]

If only this alpha female was funny.

[@w.d.g.]

and more dangerous

[@clandeszipp4564]

Not funny.

[@sscc6853]

Agree

[@sarahjmarquez]

Me two I agree

[@Laughing_Buddha_Tattoo]

She is absolutely shyt. No good.

[@einundsiebenziger5488]

@@sarahjmarquez I* do agree, too*. (nobody says "me agree")

[@snarflatful]

Not as funny as when she ad libs.

[@coreyrobertson9332]

Psychos.

[@andyvankerkhove6902]

must be great humor for women... but not for me...

[@andyvankerkhove6902]

@@MS-sr6mj No it doesnt, but it is just not for me...women dont have humor...lol

[@magpie.314]

I'm sorry your brain is too smooth to appreciate female comedians 😂

[@magpie.314]

@@MS-sr6mj ikr it's almost like men think everything revolves around them, isn't it adorable? 😂

[@InitialDIYmods]

@@MS-sr6mj as a male, I find her hilarious. Granted this was a 6 minute set about make up and date prep, it's still funny. Her full set like in "elder millennial" is very damn funny.

[@sativarosegold3604]

Wasn't great for me either

[@lamus4e]

not funny

[@StevenConstantine-fw2kn]

Narcissist

[@Nazman06]

Unfunny

[@burningmisery]

Iliza is hit n miss. Mostly miss. Miss me with that shit.

[@2112jp]

Boring

[@StevenConstantine-fw2kn]

Your not funny

[@50CeNTTTTT]

I just love when I get that notification saying "Someone liked your comment!" Or "Someone has subscribed!" Makes my day better!!!😊😳

[@andyvankerkhove6902]

I never have this...

[@Lmo--68]

That's a dumb comment

[@andyvankerkhove6902]

@@Lmo--68 yours is really smart...

[@Lmo--68]

@@andyvankerkhove6902 no, you are smart

[@sativarosegold3604]

Imagine a girlfriend or hobby

[@thiacari]

This doesn't really resonate for me. I have always done my make up in 90 seconds, do my hair in 15 seconds, never wear uncomfortable shoes or underwear. I spend most of my time working, learning, doing sports, sometimes wondering how to deal with the cute infatued men in my life. It makes me wonder, who tricked us into using hours of our lives on face paints? Does it really pay off?

[@busylivingnotdying]

I don't know if you are telling the truth, of course, but if you can get men to swoon in minutes of preparation, you are naturally pretty. If that is true, applying extra face paint wouldn't help (it would probably hurt). But that is not true for other people who might be less "gifted" in that area. Conclusion: Life is unfair, so be kind to each other!

[@ponygirlusa]

Ask all those infatuated men, beating your door down. 😅

[@thiacari]

@@ponygirlusa For many men, they are drawn to well-put-together beauty ages 15-30, after that, some men question they life choices and try new things, appreciate other qualities. Being done up now and then is enough, if time together is peaceful and fun. Soooo spending time on make-up, maybe it does pay off, in the way that more younger guys and random guys are interested, people who don't know you but just met you. I've noticed that at work looking healthy is the most important thing - slept well, ate well, face shining, focusing and listening. Also my team reacts better when I'm calm and sharp. A bit of make up maybe does add an extra layer of politeness to the men, but sometimes it's on the side of flirtiness..

[@sunny-frevr]

Point is Alphas don't get drunk. LOL...I know a woman who wears glitter a lot and I think it's hilarious. Hahaha...IDK cause some women age like fine wine, and that's moi. Hahahaaaaa

[@KimCruzes]

Cringe

[@KimCruzes]

When you mock others for your own vanity, it makes you ugly fr

[@sunny-frevr]

@@KimCruzes I sure am ugly both inside and out, if that makes you feel better. LOL.

[@rayjohnson2387]

Why does it seem like all female comedians are a little on the psychotic side 🤔

[@EvansEasyJapanese]

I really want to find a female comic funny. I really do. Whatever that Catherine girl's name is was close.

[@alimay4342]

What you meant to say was you really don't want to be misogynistic anymore, but you just can't.

[@toughbiblepassages9082]

She’s complaining, but all these “struggles” women put on themselves by choice. It doesn’t have to be that way. “But society will reject us bla bla bla..” no it won’t.. that’s just a trope code line you say to hide the fact that what you REALLY are saying is “But I won’t get to sleep with as many men as I want for as long as I want as I age.” like I said.. it’s a choice.

[@rogerlongfellow205]

You sure sound repressed. It’s comedy. Loosen up, if you can.

[@StevenConstantine-fw2kn]

Your not hot

[@einundsiebenziger5488]

You're* not

[@goaliemojo4310]

she was pretty when i started this video...

[@nkrooner]

Thick...smart...funny... Clearly this is AI and doesn't exist

[@PhillySIG]

🤔🤨umm good job lil lady😳😌

[@DanClapp]

I like her, she's funny. Most female comedians aren't

[@adamson786bi3]

WOMEN ARE JUST NOT FUNNY!!!!

[@ponygirlusa]

Wanda Sykes is hilarious! Tomlinson is also great.

[@pokeysdad17]

generally speaking, yeah.