Ime Udoka's League of EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN- Kevin Samuels Started this Conversation (Ep 92)

[@HoWaRd1187]

We talk about this idea of men getting respect based off their ability to financially provide but why aren’t we talking about respect simply in the context of each other’s value of human beings in the relationship?

[@Jalafian]

On that i can agree. If there's mutual respect we can get rid of a lot of problems on both sides.

[@Jamfar777]

Exactly. One, it's BS because if a woman is practiced in disrespect, she will be rude and emotionally abusive because that's her personality and habits. Being wealthy won't change her character, tho women would like us to believe that they're shape-shifting unicorns. Two, there should be a tenderness and care just because the person is your partner.

[@blacknurse7]

While we should have respect for all humans, men will always be judged on their ability to provide and protect.

[@themarathoncontinues4211]

@@blacknurse7 we should also be judged on our values, such as integrity, perseverance and our moral compass. There’s an argument to be made this is actually a better thing to judge men off after a certain “protect and provide” threshold is reached

[@Jalafian]

@@blacknurse7 and women will always be judged by their looks and agreeable-ness. It'd be nice though if both sides could at least start with looking at each other as human beings. Have some base level of respect for one another as person before you look at them as a man or woman.

[@liquidantonym6322]

Why don’t we see more men like this speaking for us?!?! Salute.

[@wnttalk]

✊🏿✊🏿

[@baloossthoughts1024]

Black men need to be seen as deservant of respect just because we're humans, not contingent on our ability to provide 💯

[@OthoWilliamsJr]

💣💣💣💣

[@sotokaimon6311]

Sorry women are hypergamous, and there love and respect is conditional so ........

[@jaydeejonesy3858]

This guy answers the questions that I think but can’t verbalize.. thanks bro

[@wnttalk]

✊🏿

[@tommytee6290]

As a man 20 yrs Alan's senior...He's such an impressive young guy...so poised and articulate...sensible and reasonable...honorably trying to turn around that which I believe will NEVER be the same which is how BM and BW relate to each other...this young man helps restore my faith in the future. Well done Alan...I'm sure you are your father's pride!

[@killaswing1000]

This brother is so articulate.

[@Redinkwriter]

My first comment on KZbin but I’ve been living for this moment when you bless us with your perspective from the “hot seat!” You’re amazing and much needed. Keep up the good work brother. ❤

[@lutilaw99]

This is gold. Well done.

[@quyntindowner7547]

Need a more rare mineral to describe this. But we could work with gold lol

[@HBCSTL9587]

You literally used the exact phrase I was going post.

[@lordpaps2270]

This man is a true thinker he breaks down the male experience well

[@jamaelbaskerville4547]

She is just asking questions… she isn’t letting anything sink in…

[@henrylouisjean7793]

I’m glad that Kiana is the one to interview you because I feel like she brings good thoughts and pushbacks on repetitive “manosphere” talking points that are getting old and I think some men are taking advantage of now. I like the challenge. Great Interview 👍🏾

[@jasonmuex6308]

We'll Said

[@themarathoncontinues4211]

I feel same way, I’m at the stage where I’m bored with the manosphere points and enjoy hearing pushback against the common talking points.

[@AlexMinor]

I really appreciate this series. I am 40 and about to go through a divorce. I've listened to almost every video and in this series and it's helped me gain a lot of perspective on what I did right, what I did wrong and a realistic picture of what my ex was really like and how society and modern feminism impacted our relationship. Thank you for this work.

[@charlesekpima8210]

You give her the room to consume those toxic content, for example I said to girl I want marry, no TikTok no Instagram no Facebook,no unmarried girlfriends , this will not solve everything but it will help a lot because women are easily influenced by lifestyle

[@StriderXan]

Men who go 50/50 or go into partnerships, still have to go investigate the noise downstairs late at night or address the danger walking up to you from the dark end of the street. And he still is expected to be hitting the other 6’s from the Disney package, so reverence for that expectation of sacrifice is still due.

[@akeemdarby6565]

Yooo this brother is sharp!!!!! He gets this and the interviewer is perfect for the back and forth. This was a great show

[@AlexMinor]

The example of the woman moving to Charlotte was problematic when she was quoted as saying “I’m even willing to date a mechanic” that right there tells me if you date the mechanic you’ll be looking down on him, seeing him as lesser from the jump.

[@trey24568]

At 24, most women i meet do not want to build. They want a ready product.

[@diegomagellan]

Nice to see things switched up! Good work as always

[@kiad.2552]

Kiana is awesome! On behalf of the female delegation, we officially nominate her as WNTT co-host. Casting my vote today. 🗳️ #VoteforKiana

[@kumasifitts2248]

This brotha is really on another level. ✊🏾

[@Lostwithinmyself]

"I just got here! Lemme find out!" 🤣🤣🤣 That part!

[@quotivation47]

This channel is so on point. I am bringing the heck out of it.

[@ajgrand]

This Woman is dope. And she is conducting this interview better than a young Oprah in her prime 😂

[@quyntindowner7547]

Now this is how an interview/conversation/discussion is suppose to be had. I am assuming it's Ms Williams behind the questions? Mr Obi keep up the good work sir, hopefully a few young ladies get an idea of how questions should be answered whenever they are asked. Respect!

[@gtdgary]

The comments you made on protecting our woman…hallelujah 🙌🏾 I’ve been trying to tell people that for years. Often times being protected requires women to listen. It’s not always fighting or 🔫

[@PillsInThePudding]

I won't let anyone disrespect me AND stay in my presence. My manhood is not tied to my salary. I treat people with respect. I deserve to be treated the same way. I don't know where we got this idea that a disrespectful woman is what ANYONE has to tolerate.

[@themarathoncontinues4211]

I fully agree. I don’t think they meant tolerate more disrespect, just that if you are going 50-50, she’ll naturally have more input.

[@PillsInThePudding]

@@themarathoncontinues4211 That makes sense. I definitely was looking at it from a different perspective.

[@DreKM243]

I was halfway through the video when I realized I’m listening to the man who runs the channel lol, first time seeing his face

[@Meng776]

Guys understand traditional and they understand modern dating. It isn't the men that wants to mix the two

[@broaddusmarines]

This was a great and very mature conversation between these two. Usually a conversation between a black man and a black woman on KZbin almost always ends up confrontational. This video was a pleasant surprise.

[@troy028]

My girl worksa 40 hours a week n she still cooks 5 days a week. I just do the clean up to help.

[@acebutterfly2725]

This is not something to brag about. Aren't you concerned for her health and the impact of stress and inflammation? Why do you think the diseases of the developed world are different from those of the developing world? If you afford for her to stay home, then allow her to do that.

[@onetruesavage]

Nice to see you in front of the camera. Also, she's my favorite and I'm glad she conducted the interview/conversation

[@KhadijahInspires]

These questions are so good.

[@starttheconvopod]

They both are incredibly studied in relationships. Outstanding.

[@thegreattreon0177]

It's great to see young black men and women on a non toxic platform speak to each other with respect and not trying to over talk each other because one doesn't agree with the other's point of view. As an older black man, my younger counterparts even call me an OG, I would like to see a show on how older men and women view modern relationships because we all don't have the same views but I would love to hear all the different viewpoints and how it's similar and different from younger men and women

[@KevinSmith-xt8xr]

Between this and MTR channel i can say this is a channel where you can get a more reality based answers

[@rwade6885]

Bro is Spitting NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH! 💯💯

[@Prof_Cos]

Very good interviewer. The brother articulated his talking points very well... Subscribed.

[@Hu_Pac]

Really dope interview.

[@bplayerr1]

"Buying on potential" as an excuse to date the asshole that will mistreat and cheat on then... 😒

[@RM-uk4xq]

Mexican women are raised in a patriarchal culture. Black women are raised in a matriarchal culture. That’s why for Mexican women the respect that they show their men is not based on finances and that respect is afforded to all the men in the culture not just their husband/man.

[@KevinSmith-xt8xr]

I was going to give pushback. But i have no answer at all. You're absolutely right.

[@Grimmes12]

Which is why Kobe didn't lose his half of ish in divorce court unlike a lot of brothers

[@Krz1Kntrl]

Solid conversation. Quick correction for the interviewer - there isn’t a “shortage” of “six figure men”. The supply of those men is right about where it needs to be, but that number is just always comparatively low.

[@thebenevolentpatriarch424]

Correct. If a significant proportion of men were 6 figure men, then those men wouldn't be 6 figure in value

[@DavidSanders]

To add a little context to how women often address it, the majority desire six figure men so thinking of it from that aspect from a supply and demand POV there is in fact a shortage.

[@Krz1Kntrl]

@@DavidSanders I would push back on that. Theoretically speaking, there is a finite amount of men/people that are making or can make "that amount" of money. So, the phenomenon that they are experiencing isn't a shortage, it's "limited supply" or a "fixed supply", but not a shortage.

[@ZoomToThailand]

Look who’s on the H🔥t Seat! 🙌🏽👍🏽

[@wnttalk]

had to lol

[@KevinSmith-xt8xr]

looks pretty cold to me because he Chillen chillen right now

[@truthbetold2391]

Mane this was a dope ass discussion salute to you homie

[@angelawashington9821]

Thanks for your honesty..... THIS DEFINITELY IS ONE OF THE BEST INTERVIEWS.....Yet the FACTS EXPRESSED ARE QUITE SAD!!! 😢

[@chrisjohnson926]

At the 28:00 mark, and thanks for my introduction to FoMo, I thought about this concept earlier as I was listening to a lecture by Professor Peter Vishton. It’s on Audible or The Great Courses. He said that (Paraphrase) “Humans and most animals are born with a strong desire to influence the world around them. Even seen in infants, when a baby’s action produces a predictable outcome it will 1.) Repeat the action over and over 2.) The baby gets happy (dopamine hit to the nucleus accumbens (pleasure center of brain).”

[@carl3063]

The problems men are dealing with is not a men’s issue, it’s a societal issue. Average is not a bad thing. If the average man makes 47k a year, and men’s self worth and value is tied to their ability to provide, that should be enough to provide for a family. But we know it’s not, which is something that society created.

[@ransomsmith3815]

The Candy Store analogy 👍🏾

[@johnbrown-cl6sj]

Spectacular discussion with many topics that people think about but, become too heated to hear the answers to their questions. Keep on bring these type of conversions!

[@lakieagreen4304]

Great conversation 💯& we finally get to see your face lol

[@darray.]

People need to understand that this is the internet. The internet is all about clicks. So on the internet we aren’t hearing from the majority of men or women, we are hearing only outlandish warped perspectives from the minority of people that actually think in a way that would catch our attention. I rarely hear from men like me talking about love and companionship and I rarely hear from women talking about love and companionship, all we seem to hear is city girls and city boys mentality, because it nurtures clicks. The internet has the loyal and the disloyal thinking everyone is moving mad.

[@user-nd8is6ey4t]

So leadership is strictly based on who makes the most money? That is an issue.

[@jadisming7527]

👍🏽liked

[@U4ia28]

“You don’t see him because he’s not checking this first box, you don’t see him because he’s not 6 ft, you don’t see him because he doesn’t walk into a room and light it up” This right here. Men adapt to what women respond to. Women set the pace of how we approach and what we prioritize. If women are prioritizing clout, Money, excitement, looks, etc. that’s what men are going to prioritize. But men by and large are going to also be realistic and pragmatic about which of these traits he can realistically achieve and maintain and whether or not the amount of effort necessary to achieve it matches what he’s getting back in return. Lastly her trying to compare men cheating to women cheating is utterly absurd. 30% of men are raising kids that UNKNOWINGLY ARENT THEIRS. There’s NO COMPARISON.

[@KevinSmith-xt8xr]

Another thing to factor in women who have witnessed, as children and/or perpetuated as adults, the culturally normative approach of “raising” Black girls and “coddling” Black boys. Which is when you have men who place women higher than himself it gives the incentives that she's his mother and he's being provided by her needs. And will eventually leave him sooner than later.

[@ScaryToRemarry]

I love this conversation! So much I wanted to comment on, but I digress

[@Lynaelary]

Great discussion, better than watching movie sometimes. Who is lady behind the questions?

[@reginaldmagee3586]

Encourage/inspire but you are not going to change a man.

[@Eazy202]

The questions were on point 💯

[@roberthill1540]

I enjoyed this.

[@jayice1AKAJoeMule]

We have to remember when talking about relationships. WE have to remember to take ourselves OUT of some topics. For example: I don’t….. I am not….. I have never…… When these conversations/topics arise it typically talked about from a “Often times”, “MOST”, “TYPICALLY” etc. Sometimes we WILL fit into those and sometimes we won’t. But the B.L.U.F. (Bottom Line Up Front) of it is just don’t personalize it as if one is talking ABOUT YOU and only YOU. I am not the only man walking and YOU are not the only woman walking. Peace

[@rickburns9156]

Great podcast I'm listening while rollin👷🏿‍♂️🚛👈🏿💪🏿🙂

[@S.Eds2]

Interesting chat 😊 I generally call you dr. Obi but you were “Allen” in that convo 🤔😉

[@wnttalk]

Lmao What's the distinction?

[@S.Eds2]

@@wnttalk don’t get me wrong, you still drop gems 😊 and always respectful. But your demeanor, body language, sense of connection…just a lil different. I appreciate though the calculated responses to make sure us women hear & “get it”. 👊🏽 dr. Obi schools us a lil differently. Allen would appear more open but dr. Obi seems more comfortable. Not really much difference so take my comment with a grain of salt 😉

[@wnttalk]

@@S.Eds2 Thats such an interesting distinction 🤣😂

[@S.Eds2]

@@wnttalk 😜

[@blacknerdtalks7921]

53:10 My man hit the nail on the head, even before this manosphere/men's issues came up. I remember making almost the exact same analogy🛠 Also, the woman I dated before I met my current wife, left me for another man. And yes, I knew it's because she _thought_ he was better than me in some aspect. In this case it was serving her/being there for her, and having his own place.

[@KevinSmith-xt8xr]

And it always seemed in the black community unless you have your own place you're not really winning supposedly. regardless if you're good in other attributes. Even if you have your own car it still senses to her that you're not on your own fully until you have your own home/apartment

[@Krz1Kntrl]

To be clear, Pookies can wear suits and Rayrays (or Raerae’s) have graduate degrees. They exist in cigar clubs and board rooms and on corners. They are an archetype. They represent a group of men who women (not all…but a statistically significant number) choose to be involved with even though there is a reasonable expectation that who he is or who he plans to be is NOT what she is expecting in a husband/bf/partner; OR the type of relationship that he (Pookie) is pursuing with her is NOT the type of relationship that she is expecting from her husband/bf/etc., yet she has hitched herself to him expecting or hoping for a miracle. [Note: If you know your “worth” and it has somehow increased since the last dude or you have greater expectations out of the next person you are dealing with, you were very likely dealing with either Pookie or Raerae previously…]

[@octavius12]

30:45 “Ain’t enough WAP in the world to do that” 😂😂😂😂

[@Godschoice137]

Bro she is your partner. This is a dope team continue to nurture this.

[@jewelleedwards]

It was interesting when the guest said men tend to check out (rather than initiate the divorce) and good men often think when the relationship goes wrong, there is something wrong with them. Even if a good man doesn't make a woman miserable so she will leave, checking out essential leaves the responsibility with the other half of the relationship to make a move, if any move will be made at all. Hopefully good men will move towards navigating the end of the relationship with their partner, rather than leaving the accountability for ending the relationship with the other person.

[@ghosttemplar6989]

Everyone getting serious as they should, but Gold Frame glasses stand up lol.

[@AtlLateNight]

Bruh stay killing with the sports analogies 😂😂

[@NatHenrickClarke]

"Girls just wanna have fun"- Cindy Lauper She tried to tell us🤷🏿‍♂️

[@jameskent8165]

You did great bro

[@jasonmuex6308]

Another platinum hit 🙏🏿🙏🏾🙏🏽

[@cholli4141]

Yes… HELL YES!! Men’s raising kids that aren’t theirs.. unknowingly… it’s been the norm for GENERATIONS.

[@showcase0525]

Regarding finances i do want to point out that even if its 50/50... the level of respect is based on tolerance, not acceptance. Thats very telling on the nature of relationships versus how society is.

[@mr.teachone7211]

It not about the amount it about what you do with the money 💯

[@onetruesavage]

Aye look who's in the seat!

[@PA-qv2dy]

Well done brutha!!! The difference between men and women cheating is astronomical, not sure if she understood the magnifications of it from Mens point of view.

[@footworkfighttalk163]

Women aren’t the only ones expected to things when they come home from work. Men have lots of chores to do around the house

[@themarathoncontinues4211]

Fixing everything, taking out trash etc.

[@ajgrand]

I always say “ Men are simple like computer circuitry, women are complex like a tangled ball of string.”

[@KevinSmith-xt8xr]

Men are parallel circuit women are a series circuit.

[@albertrobinson4133]

Give that girl a super max contract

[@KingofFoodsNetwork]

If I'm a 200K guy or a 30K Janitor. As a man you should expect respect from your woman.

[@Antisatan7771]

Very interesting. I should add the “50/50” or “ I can do everything you can do” or “we’re equal” “Partnership” was by woman though.

[@ThePersonalDevelopme]

These men have no idea what the women they want actually want. Too much focus is on what they don’t want. The more you focus on what you don’t want the more it GROWS. Law of the universe

[@wnttalk]

You'll find that we address both throughout the channel

[@leichaurellelux7547]

I grew up on understanding the importance of marital duties. Also grew up on seeing stronger commitments no matter what at times too. However, what has shifted is that technology made household duties easier for housewives. So somethings give us time for mental improvements on our health to deal with our spouses. So now compatibility and interest are now playing a big role and most people today are socially awkward vs sexually. After sex now what we cannot just have sex all day. So now most women or men end up being on the side of only needed for sex because they have nothing more to offer on a personal level as they THINK THEY DO it is what the eyes see in your actions not just your words. ❤

[@JD-tp6ei]

The question of paternity is worse than many may think. When I worked for an Obstetrician , often women who were married (or in a committed relationship )would find out they were pregnant and did not know who the father was because they had an affair ( usually with an ex) They would never reveal this to the husband. They would just let him think it was his child and hope that he would not question it. Very scandalous.

[@notgoneconform]

How is she going to sit there and say that neither she, nor any of the women she hanga around, date pookies and ray rays and then turn around and say she's not sure exactly what they are.

[@permazero]

🤝🏾

[@bplayerr1]

If we are EQUAL, why do women feel the need to own men's success⁉️⁉️

[@noirmative9293]

@ 4:30 what I've learned more than anything is how delusional and detached from reality some of these men are.

[@milworks]

Even in a 50/50 relationship, the man still have expectations outside of their job. All the the hard and physical household labor is still on his plate. But that is never talked about.

[@kaxar6954]

Just hire a handyman to do the big jobs at home then. Lol

[@brownw1011]

🔥 conversation

[@plato1273]

Men tend to go in their cave to deal with problems, never follow a man into his cave, let him come out on his on time. This would solve many problems.

[@S.Eds2]

That’s SO hard @Plato 😩

[@heruapocalypse2021]

Yes The Man Cave is very necessary 👏🏾

[@jermaineholmes3531]

Love what this brother's doing this is probably by far the best video I've seen from him great conversation.. Just want to add I think women can inspire me to be a better version of themselves but it has to be done tactful And I think if a man and woman hook up at our earlier age they can build. So she can be apart of the Curation process but once a man reaches a certain age he wants to do it by himself and then find his mate

[@Krz1Kntrl]

You know the section on job descriptions that says “…and other ad hoc tasks and duties as deemed necessary based on the needs of the department”…yea, that’s one of this requirements/expectations aside from Protector/Provider that people don’t talk about.

[@TheTwonne1]

I am SO GLAD he spoke on women wanting 6 figure men but women failing to realize 6 figure men can't always give them the time they require because of the amount of time required by the man to maintain that level of income. All women see is the life style that may come with it, failing to realize all of the man may not come with it. There's a price to pay the higher up you go, but you get what you asked for.

[@user-nd8is6ey4t]

I know from actual personal experiences that men stay in marriages that they’re literally unhappy in simply to be in their children’s lives or they simply stay true to their vow to provide. Only later to find out that’s all she was interested in. Lack of happiness is rarely a reason a man breaks up his family.

[@jaytea22]

Can we get the name of the podcast where the guy and his wife talked about whats sex like in a longterm relationship?

[@diamondjim55]

Is the guys name Devale Ellis?

[@laroiceturner9059]

I think we're working with 2 different definitions of what choosing a pookie or a ray ray looks like

[@NwoFresh]

Women that don’t get in line should be leave alone

[@brownw1011]

Happy Spouse Happy House⚡️

[@karatekoala4270]

29:14 pookie and ray ray. In the film, "New Jack City" Pookie was a character that was a life destroyed by crack yet he still had a former prom queen as his girl. Can clean up nice but always came back to the gutter. Ray-Ray was in the film, "South Central" and was the charismatic leader of the Hoover Dues Gang. He had money, power and even should l sold out his own friends. These are the most common type of men a lot of women will be attracted to as either a project, "build a man" or the faux masculinity of the destructive gangster.

[@chitownbob9714]

Thanks for the history! I always wondered about those names. I often hear them spoken in Red pill groups as very good looking BM with an exciting, illicit, dangerous lifestyle. Did you notice that interviewer said early that she never dated a Pookie or a Ray Ray? Then later claimed she didn't know what they were?

[@karatekoala4270]

@@chitownbob9714 that's a good call out!

[@disruptor109]

This goes triple for brothers who serve in the US Armed Forces. Women who are dating and or married to my brothers in uniform DON'T understand what it truly means to be with men who serve. Ladies, YOUR PRIMARY ROLES is that of a support element, DO NOT turn his home into another battleground. DO NOT create another hostile environment for him.

[@simonfrancis7018]

when you see in a relationship, the most important principle and or value that the couple need to know, is that you are not in a competition with each other. Stop computing. Her success is His success and His success is Her success. There is no Equality in a relationship. You are both there to Serve. You are both in a Band, you both have roles, there is no 50/50 it 100/100. play your part for the success of the Band, because no one wants to lesson to a terrible band. Do your part with pride!!

[@MrkendrickH]

That's why I never understand why women say I can pay my own bills so I don't need a man as if that's the only thing he is good for. A man brings balance to the house with his masculine energy an her feminine energy. Since we think differently he provide a different perspective that could be beneficial. Plus two heads are always better than one. Even if a man only pays 50% of the bills its still extremely beneficial. He can save 50% as well as the woman which can go towards retirement or future investments to make even more money. Its also beneficial for the community because two-parent homes create middle-class to upper-class communities. You're also able to save money in certain areas that you wouldn't be able to being single. The chances of your children becoming productive citizens highly increase. He is able to take the burden and stress off your shoulder of having to take care of every single thing yourself. Someone to show you attention, affection, intimacy, and compliments. Someone that will listen to you and allow you to vent about your day or life in general. Someone to drive you around like a private chauffeur. A man can be the disciplinarian while she focus on nurturing and teaching the children. Someone to do the hard, heavy, dirty work around the home. If he is a handy man that know how to fix or make things that is also beneficial in many ways. Someone to teach you things and buy you things and gifts. A woman who is with a good man or has status our success automatically increases her status in society