Black Women DECODED - Kevin Samuels Started this Conversation (Ep 100)

[@imanlelani]

I can't entirely agree with Kiana about the friend piece at the end. One of my longest friendships is with a guy, and at our adult age, I can acknowledge that he’s a great man, and anyone would be lucky to have him because he’s a good person. I have felt guilty for not seeing him “like that” romantically, but I concluded that just because he’s a great man doesn’t mean that he’s “my great man” and I appreciate our relationship as it is and I am still lucky to have him in my life the way that I do. You can’t force attraction. Also, congratulations on 100 episodes 🥂🎉

[@StriderXan]

If he’s not “your” great man, then you should also accept that whatever metric you have to view a man romantically isn’t objective, but your preference, which isn’t an issue but should be acknowledged, just like buying one car over the other when they are exactly the same but one is in Red while the other was in Blue, and you prefer Blue; it’s semantics that doesn’t discredit the worth and value of the red car. But in this day and age, women across the board of different experiences and life journeys want the “blue” car. And if it’s the right shade of blue, you’ll buy it with 3 wheels, faulted heating/AC or an oil leak with the idea you can fix or change it once you have it but en mass do not acknowledge they are prioritising something that will have no bearing on how that car performs.

[@bolespal3475]

He gets nothing from being friends with you if we’re really honest here. you like his attention, since he’s your friend he’s willing to protect you if needed, listen to you, help lift things, ect you’re basically getting girlfriend treatment but without the title or effort. There is no benefit in being friends with women that arent co-workers. And the fact that he’s easily accessible to you makes him not attracted to you.

[@imanlelani]

@@bolespal3475 Interesting assumption. We don’t spend much time together, and despite what you think, not all women categorize a man as a good man because of what he can do for her. I don’t ask anything of him. We are high school friends who hang out and catch up when we can. And when we hang out, and money is involved, we pay separately unless it’s someone’s birthday or something like that. We grew up together, and we look out for each other. He knows that he can call me if he needs anything, and I know that I can do the same. It’s that simple. I see him as a great man because of how he moves through the world, not just by who he is to me. I respect him, and if something happened to where we never spoke again, he would still be a great man in my book.

[@imanlelani]

@@StriderXan You're right, and I have no problem acknowledging my preference. Admitting that my friend is a great man but not the man for me was to point out that these things aren't always as simple as 1+2= 3. It wasn’t to discredit his worth or value. Honestly, I wish it was simple, but as I said before, you can’t force attraction. Also, I agree with you that a lot of women make bad choices because of their preferences, but in this case, I would rather keep my friend than run the risk of losing him entirely to a break from a romantic relationship that I know I didn’t want from the start.

[@MuckCityProductions]

Text him right now. Tell him you've been thinking of him sexually, and you really need him to come over so you can scratch that itch. No strings attached. I bet my last dollar that platonic "we grew up together" ish goes right out the window

[@FOUR40ZERO]

He say's I THINK, She say's I FEEL.

[@Seancarter2010]

You caught that too huh.

[@sheh.9163]

Ironically men are the most emotionally unstable

[@luckypennybenny]

When you say blank it makes me feel blank is one of the most stereotypical affirmative communication framework examples you will find when you start googling how to communicate better. You don't have to think when folks just tell you how they feel.

[@bezglover]

Both genders are sexually flexible given different circumstances. A man who is sexually repressed will sleep with just about anything. À woman who is attention deprived will give almost anything to a man who is giving her what looks like care and validation. Men’s sexual standards fluctuate depending on their options. Women’s dating standards fluctuate based on the amount it attention they get

[@jadisming7527]

Some men don't get empathy or grace.

[@sungod62]

MOST men don’t

[@bezglover]

@@sungod62 I came to say the thing

[@jadisming7527]

@@sungod62 I don't know MOST men. So if I say my opinion. I'm only referring to the some I know.

[@lincolnward85]

You don't get grace because you were never given empathy. One leads to the other. You see that often with race relations in America. People sympathize with issues but there's no empathy and generally no attempt to holistically understand the issue and thus no grace given.

[@sungod62]

@@lincolnward85 big facts and well spoken my G ✊🏾

[@21nitsua]

I hope these conversations are helping us to understand how to reach common ground. I am definitely in the rp rage section of the black manosphere but I have started to fall back on this. Obi has definitely help me with this so shout out to you bro.

[@thetruthsucks9418]

then you really weren’t a rp black man. you was a simp in disguise. atleast you can be your true self a simp black man who worships the gynocracy!! enjoy your life son👍🏿

[@mrt094]

The challenge is its hard to reach common ground when the other side isn't willing to give up any ground. Ultimately I want to be hopeful but this conversation in particular definitely made it hard for me to.

[@21nitsua]

@@mrt094 that's always been my frustration. Instead of focusing on the problem being discussed it's always flipped to place blame on someone else or they chang the subject to something else entirely.

[@21nitsua]

@@thetruthsucks9418 this is a place for adults, go back to the kids table while we try to get something done

[@podthetrue]

@@21nitsua well said

[@MuckCityProductions]

12:21 Showing gratefulness for your man trying to be monogamous, instead of taking it for granted

[@dantepace6893]

Even the Interviewer injected her prejudices instead of active listening to a man opinions.

[@babajidejoshua7287]

I wished she truly listened 🥱🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️. She was really emotional and just looking to reply.

[@only4him330]

Agreed. She wasn't there to learn, she was there to interrogate/critisize

[@DoctorThunder]

Episode 100!!!

[@wnttalk]

Thank you so much brother🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@michaelstafford4628]

You see how she says "That makes me feel like" over and over is a big reason why men and women fight so much. Men deal with facts women deal with feelings. Men and woman can be friends but within a relationship boundaries must be set. Most friendships like that someone tested the waters at some point and when the ship didn't sale settled for a friendship.

[@S.T-87]

As much as you've tried to explain to her, she still does not get it. She is clearly not empathetic to what is going on within young boys and men. How is it that we are so empathetic to what's going on with them and what they go through but it's so difficult for them to do the same? What are we doing wrong? Should we change our messaging?

[@21nitsua]

IMO most women never stop being children mentally. Toddlers are excused for their bad behavior because they don't have the mental ability to have empathy. It probably won't change until men have legal leverage over the situation

[@shaylagortman2322]

@@21nitsua I guess it will never change 🙂

[@JamR0ck]

If it's not about them, they don't care

[@evos469]

It's requires a level a logic to be empathic

[@tonileolion9702]

It is my belief that his message isn’t getting through to he because she’s not fully comprehending his logic. When u open ur mind to receive both logics, opinions and facts u will be able to take it all in digest it and then respond in a way that it doesn’t seem like ur in a protection stance 😊

[@LetsTalkwithJvJ]

Loving the grind. Keep It Up

[@indigopapi8667]

She proved your point in the beginning about most women being like most women. In this showcase: the lack of empathy.

[@d2dadoubleo]

🎉 eps 100 congrats

[@smokeyhat]

This was a great session.

[@2madwithaj]

Great episode...I understand the concept of empathisizing with biology of man so you can full appreciate the sacrifice of monogamy...and I'm with Kiana completely platonic female male relationships are very rare

[@obedirect5491]

14:20-16:00 Why means why physically as well as personal history, ie, psychology, past traumas.

[@kiriende3691]

She framed women as a perpetual victims.

[@dennisrobinson8008]

the usual

[@4jradio]

17:43 Nailed it

[@MrBenji1059]

That turtleneck is ❤‍🔥!!!

[@giovanniblack1818]

Good conversation. Excellent questions.

[@butterfly_8241]

Run get to Da Chopper!

[@sungod62]

Broooo….that sperm count/spreading seed analogy to menstrual cycle/emotion correlation was 🎯🎯🎯 Continue to service the community my dear brotha and sista hosts ✊🏾❤️🖤💚

[@ALJ_1981]

Great conversation 👌 👏 👍

[@neurocentricthoughtz1583]

When he said whats goin on in your anatomy at 24 for a young man Vs a woman at 24 is different.. i instantly thought about the phrase (Sow your oats).. that phrase only applies to men and has been around for ages so that isnt a modern excuse..

[@mrrstarrk]

Fire ass ep 100! Skoden!

[@wnttalk]

✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿

[@WeekendAtRennies]

My Naji Brother You are a Genius 🎯☝🏾from your LIB Brother 🇱🇷🫡

[@EzBluegrass1]

Great dialog

[@1906Gonzalez]

Who is interviewing you? She is very thoughtful and is in control of every word she says.

[@Kush_Ups]

I’m a little taken aback by how hyper focused on men she is. Boys/men are not the sole perpetrators of manipulation & to have the conversation from that lens is unfair to the big picture

[@dennisrobinson8008]

she overlooked all the gold diggers and users

[@2011troya]

@@dennisrobinson8008 😩😩😩 confirmation bias

[@only4him330]

I like how the man has the emotional intelligence to empathize with a women's point of view... and w The woman absolutely lack this ability

[@PillsInThePudding]

We have to rewrite the social contract between men and women...we are so far away from what historically worked for our relationships that we need to create a new standard.

[@neurocentricthoughtz1583]

Alan Roger Curry has a great video here on KZbin from a few years back on how men categorize women.. Women are broken down into 5 different levels in his breakdown. The title is something like( Good girls vs Kinky sluts). Anyways great channel and discussion guys. Keep up the good work.

[@LRich44]

I love the conversation between you two but at 18:15 she says “we need to instill morals and values into our young boys”, and i am so tired of woman saying this because it is a mute argument. ANY MAN that was raised on “morals and values” will tell you THAT THIS DOES NOT LEAD TO SUCCESS WITH WOMAN….atleast not at a young age anyway, because they never pick us🤦🏾‍♂️. I was once a man that thought i could “morals and values” my way into some pussy. It wasn’t until i seen while i was focusing on good morals and values the niggas that didn’t have any got all the attention. When I got played that’s when I realized I was playing the wrong game. Good “morals and values” only works on women over 35-40/Older women 😂😂😂😂.

[@bplayerr1]

💯👏💥👏💥👏💥

[@bplayerr1]

Preach!!! And that's where Allen needs to push back. Women say 1 thing and do another. And any L from their choices is men's fault. My record as a moral man, god fearing man, was 000000. My record emulating assholess... well, let's just say I made it to the league!

[@lincolnward85]

You didn't notice but she changed your perspective when she asked about women sympathizing with men. You weren't saying women should start out feeling sorry for men. You were saying they should try to understand what's going on with men. I think that distinction is at the core of issues with our community. Men seek understanding to better accomplish a goal. While women expect to act like them and anything short of that is an excuse.

[@LRich44]

Hit the nail on the head with this one.

[@josephwhite3486]

Tell women to tell the truth about they body count

[@raharmonnelson7537]

She is laughing like women are not doing the same thing.... it's just not about sex.... people will never stop using people....

[@phil5301]

It's all BIOLOGY on both sides. However the conditions of the environment (Societal/Religious Norms/Economy/Law) against BIOLOGY are the heaviest leverage throughout human history.💯

[@karatekoala4270]

21:25 I think it's interesting we talk about men manipulating women fit sex but don't acknowledge women manipulating men for money and protection. Edit: should've kept watching 30 seconds 🤣🤷🏾‍♂️

[@wnttalk]

Great Minds...✊🏿

[@MSNFE_01]

Where do women get a man's money when MOST don't have any? AND men have said they DON'T protect so....

[@kiriende3691]

She seems to be unable to look past her own fear. I would say trauma but a lot of times they have these fears based on nothing that's ever happened. It can be based off gossip of.

[@malkum77ify]

This is so true. Oftentimes women will cosign on another woman's experience and claim it as their own as if it happened to them. They don't have a reason to feel that Way. It never happened to them, but because it happened to somebody, they're gonna claim it as their own.

[@franklinf.2968]

3:00 & They wonder why the book called [ MGTOW QUOTES VOLUME-1] is trending soon hard on Amazon 💊📒

[@mollyv1172]

There is only 2 categories men put women in. 1. For a Good Time 2. For a long time.

[@dennisrobinson8008]

3. For a bad time

[@losboi87]

🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@neodaltiair8624]

Abraham only had like two sons lol

[@henriboylan7361]

Young men fall in love, too. Not all of them are trying to get the girl just for sex. A lot of them really want to keep the girl. All boys aren't lying to manipulate girls for sex. When i was young, I never did that.

[@bplayerr1]

Its bc they keep going for the same 10% of men that do... they kie to themselves about it.

[@wolfdna788]

If you show 100 women this continent half of one of them would find it interesting and would actually come back, but if you show 100 men this content 20 of them would love it and keep coming back.

[@wolfdna788]

It’s very hard to show women the truth they usually won’t come back.

[@nux2k]

Also post nut clarity is a real thing... The way you feel before nothing after nut is drastically different

[@henriboylan7361]

The friend waiting for the opportunity to smash is a much greater phenomena than the woman waiting for him to see her, but the chances of his coming out of the friend-zone are much less likely to happen. And a lot of those times, he's just waiting for the opportunity to hit it. And, of course, there are a lot of guys who really do want more than that. But a woman opening the doors to the friend-zone to let him in is very rare. It may be rare for that woman to get that man she's waiting for to see her if you're talking about a real relationship, but I think a lot of those times the guy just settles for a meantime affair until he finds someone he really wants. She would be a woman he could easily have a FWB relationship with. Or he's settling, because he realizes he can't do what he considers better than her. It's the rare occasion in either of these two dynamics that the ensuing relationships become successful, unless a lot of growth and development have taken place. just realizing out of the blue doesn't work.

[@stephenfoster1257]

When he explained that monogamy isn't the nature of men.she said it felt like an excuse.Yet if a woman hyper reacts she'll explain it away as women are emotional as part of her nature.

[@thestandardrlc]

It's not an excuse. It's been since the dawn of time. Men have always craved sexual variety.

[@gregorylagrange]

Men's range is a product of him advancing in productivity or raising his value. And the funny thing is, the most obvious example to illustrate that is often shamed by women. The man works all his life to get to the point where he can do some of the things that he's always loved but could never do. Gets the kind of car that he's always wanted to have. But women try to label that as a mid life crisis. He's gotten to the point of building a retirement, getting a house locked up, putting his wife and family in a very good lifestyle to enjoy, did all that still has enough left over where he can get a few items for himself that he's had a life long passion for. So his core personality doesn't usually change. But it gets shamed as "a mid life crisis". That's why Rollo Tomassi described it as it's really a mid life actualization. And while she's asking shouldn't men change how they deal with women if their biological imperative is to have as many women as they can, she needs to think about how serial monogamy is like men resulting to lying in order to fulfill their biological drive for unlimited access to sex. Socially enforced monogamy has a benefit to having a stable society, but women don't use it for that purpose. And if women were honest about their intentions like she wants men to be, then they wouldn't be able to have any success like she thinks men wouldn't have.

[@whatmymamanamedme]

I am the luckiest man on the planet!

[@MassiveReset]

I think she is TRyInG to understand and I respect the attempt but something inside herb just won’t accept what’s being said. Men accept the chaotic changes that come with a woman’s cycle but women vilify the behaviors that come with increased levels of testosterone in men. He is right that theses interactions need to start from a place of empathy

[@cahawks]

I think the interviewer had an agenda coming into this. On numerous occasions, he admitted to the shortcomings of teenage boys in respect to having sex; However, when he tried to make the point that women also do the same thing when it comes to getting married, she didn’t want to hear it and completely dismissed it. The purpose of this channel is to foster a meaningful and constructive dialog between the sexes and I think she did it a disservice by not even acknowledging the objective truths when pertaining to the way the sexes interact with one another.

[@Wait---What]

I think the biology thing can be tricky cause a women could use that same argument on why she picks a guy or looks for comfort financially over a mans character.

[@bplayerr1]

Diff is men own this, women dont.

[@Seancarter2010]

He’s not pushing back enough on men being deceptive about sex. It’s the same thing as women being deceptive about relationships. There are far more women who lie about relationship expectations than there are men lying about sexual expectations. I’d argue the relationship lie is far more damaging because it usually results in unwanted pregnancy and a ton of resentment. Her narrative always falls back to men need to do better without any examination of what women should do. It’s rare that these conversations are balanced. It seems like women are incapable of being fair

[@RM-uk4xq]

Women lie about the baby being yours. I’ve learned when women insist on a behavior from men it’s because they don’t want that man to treat her the way she KNOWS she’s going to treat him. A woman that always talks about honesty is probably dishonest herself. Just remember for women, it’s never about you.

[@bplayerr1]

💯💯💯 agreed to the point Im starting to feel these convos are not accomplishing much unless the interviewed woman is coming with accountability and openness

[@jl6523]

Surprised you both didnt bring up the fact that maybe casual sex is the issue. Hard to manipulate someone when the boundaries are clear -- no sex before relations. But the new standard is sex before relations, so lower bar, poorer quality of outcomes.

[@RockyMaiviaMiami]

Women will never understand the need for a man is like the urgency of drinking 3 gallons of water and holding it. Thats the urgency…. And there’s no such thing as platonic friends

[@MonDieuMaCauseMonEpee]

Bro you failed in explaining to her the full scope of our interest as a men in connection to our desire AND OUR RESPONSIBILITY to society in COMPETITION with WOMEN'S!! desires and their interests RESPONSIBILITY to society.

[@Blackout300]

Welp you tried. They never listened long enough to get it! There have been studies that prove that monogamous men , when introduced to a different female , his sex drive damn near doubles. He has sex with both women way more. Even studies with rodents that prove the same point. Variety is the zest of life for men. Wanting women to understand that shouldn’t be rocket science. That is if they can get out of their feelings long enough to listen. She never did my man. She never did. Good convo.

[@KIDTOOREAL]

I don’t want to be a woman’s friend. Zero benefit for me.

[@375army]

10:51 at the same time women use the excuse for men not to be able to do such a thing

[@ManofPrestige]

The solution is to identify WHY

[@obedirect5491]

Why means why physically as well as personal history, ie, psychology, past traumas.

[@johncapo2843]

# THE SOFTWARE NEVA CHANGES the devil is winning

[@sotosotoa8120]

I got to push back on that -it's a man's nature to not be monogamous. That's bull shit, that's a cop-out. The dudes i hung out with don't cheat bcuz we know what's it like to see a women/mom get hurt by cheating. So it's set in our mind that we won't treat a woman like the way our mom have been treated. Is there temptation, yeah, but we know its not worth the trouble bcuz our conscious will eat us alive . So why bother. Cheating is an immature mind set and ,or, sometimes an age thing. Women, don't let a man tell u it's biological. Thats bull shit. He's putting me in his category and I'm don't appreciate that sht. We men know who's a cheater and who are not cheaters, don't care if I'm off code. I'm 50 yrs ,and don't give a fk

[@clintonwizard]

You're saying the same thing. You don't cheat precisely because you don't want to hurt your woman not because you don't want sex with other women.

[@jaamal6369]

@@clintonwizard Exactly lol

[@themarathoncontinues4211]

@@clintonwizard women also want to sleep with other men bro, that’s not a male/female thing. It’s just being an animal

[@jameskent8165]

@@themarathoncontinues4211 no women want to sleep with the best option they have until they believe there’s someone more “alpha” than him. Women are hypergamous by nature meaning they want to marry up and reproduce up. There’s not enough men who qualify by their hypergamous standards for all those women. How many times have we seen a 5 day age wont settle for a 5 man. For a modern society it does help us to have monogamy. But polygamy is compatible with a woman’s true nature in “dating up”.

[@jameskent8165]

@@clintonwizard facts women will say “I don’t want to hurt my man’s peace” but naturally with the hormones chaos is tempting and acted on often. We need grace for both.

[@sotosotoa8120]

When it comes to women. We do see some for play and some we take seriously. All men may want to have sex or consider having sex with 99% of the women we meet (referring to single men). Depending on her looks an attitude will determine when that time comes. the fun women is for sex only. Some, can be out curiosity-which may lead to taking her seriously or not, some, can be on a friendship basis. But the serious one, sex is the #1thing on our mind, knowing u more is #2, but we don't won't her to feel pressured, so we wait, doesn't mean we won't shoot our shot- that's biological, it just mean we'll wait. And yall got to help us out, don't be doing stuff, knowing it's going to get us in that mood-bcuz we r already n the mood-ladies!😖😤

[@user-nd8is6ey4t]

The young lady is not fully grasping what he is saying. A 17-18 year old may actually think he loves a woman simply because he lusts for her heavy. You only realize it was lust once you have been intimate with her and that “new car” feel is gone. Now she is like an other woman. Hormones in young men are strong, but she is making the same mistake that many women make. The assumption is whether a man knows, it’s biological, or plans it it is viewed as against women. Women do the same thing. Do you have sex with a man and not really want a relationship with him, but because they were intimate with him, they’ll try to be with him.

[@charlesadamsjr7255]

Man She talked to MUCH

[@germiatejenkins4772]

I wish he would've asked if she has ever went on a date with a man that yoy had no interest in

[@SoSuave3]

She seems like her only question was why isn't it always the Mans fault! Explain yourselves.......

[@tamunosakiwestscott-bloack2229]

100 episodes riding on Kevin samuels name as opposed to your own merits.

[@josephwhite3486]

2 categories. Wives and women

[@diasporaman5419]

Weird

[@mackhook]

Omg she seems controlling and combative. Always trying to take men to task. Our biology and mating strategies are not the same. The same way you consolidate your needs and expectations to one guy. Our drive to hunt and conquer varied prey is innate and should be empathized with. Just like his menstrual analogy. Y'all forever use that to excuse being a ass and we supposed to understand because we don't have to experience it knowing that if you were a guy acting like that you get your block knocked off. Understand a man's desire for variety and appreciate those of us who have options and don't exercise them and better empathize with the ones of us who do. Hell if y'all wasn't out here trying to be like dudes being more sexually liberal there would be less opportunity for guys to "cheat" but we not ready for that conversation

[@bigbeats1]

You'll are throwing this term "manipulate". From a man's perspective, it's coerce! A man is going to try to convince a woman to go to bed with her....he shouldn't.

[@SdotWebb]

This was a great discussion but literally mens wants are just as important as females wants. We want something she wants something. Theres little manipulation same with how women cough "trick" men into marriage.

[@dennisrobinson8008]

When they force things they usually unravel badly.

[@nux2k]

Every woman should go through a short dose of testosterone replacement just to feel what it's like to be a man.... They'll be grinding on the arm of chairs not knowing what to do with themselves 😂

[@the_distillery]

The young lady seems unable (or unwilling) to remain objective enough to truly understand male nature...

[@singingchef23]

Respect the work, cant respect the female. Women who speak on topics from the utopian POV, provide little to towards progress. The perfect context to the uselessness of her pushback is the men who manipulate for sex, are majority of the men women seek. Another example is shes saying an 18 year old male is responsible and knowledgeable enough but we hear women call women under 27 babies, too young. So when she speaks, her disengagement with the majority reality of the community helps whom? If shes speaking from her "good perspective of those around her", vs the reality of the overall community. This is why we struggle to progress, these debates dont move anything forward because there is one side coming to the table with a minority mindset or disingenuous arguments that are proven false. Again its clear women cheat as much or more.