In Love with a Co Worker?? How to Deal With That.

[@followingfenna]

Followingfenna.com for my help in your limerence

[@aaaauuuuuu-be8iy]

i had an obsession over my coworker, then i was fired and that was my blessing

[@followingfenna]

I can imagine, that was actually a good thing 😀

[@terrycraig6386]

May I ask why you were fired? Did your LO tell management ? Did you disclose to them?

[@aaaauuuuuu-be8iy]

@@terrycraig6386 nah, it wasnt related to LO, just job cuts. No one knew about my obsession, im a good actress

[@terrycraig6386]

​@@aaaauuuuuu-be8iymeaning you could hide your feelings well? Good for you for doing that.At least you weren't fired for " harresment ".😊

[@BetweenStations77]

I was in love/limerence with a co worker for 10 months - when i sat next to them. it was miserable- it took me 4 years to recover. I was happy when my contract ended and after 10 months i left the job but it destroyed me forever. we were both single yet he didnt like me back. he enjoyed my attention and my light that i shone on him. we did develop a bond but he didnt like me back. it damn near killed me. never again.

[@flower_7890]

I hear you but please try not to romanticise the whole thing that happened , like it was big love etc🙏 I'm sure there were people in your life you didn't like back and it doesn't mean there was something wrong with them, attraction just wasn't there, period. So this time the roles were reversed, not a big deal, happens all the time🙂 second thing- try next time remove yourself earlier when you see your interest isn't reciprocated so U don't get attached. Best wishes 😊

[@flower_7890]

You're not destroyed forever, you just had bad experience x

[@d1v1n1ti]

omg this is me! thank you for sharing it's sooooo hard! not only does he enjoy my attention, he texts all the time, invites me out and over, at first he was even paying for everything until i insisted he let me pay. He has 4 more months until he can go to a different job! I can't even sleep with other men without thinking of him or feeling guilty, I feel absolutely insane! I can't wait for this to be over

[@BetweenStations77]

@d1v1n1ti So sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. What I found most hard was that I always felt that I was alone in having unrequited love - but now I know it was limerence and even though it is the most painful thing that I have ever been through - i made it to the other side: - 7 years later, and that I am not the only one whom has experienced it. Sending love from London xx

[@pomchi250]

"No buying see-through blouses" LOL you're hilarious Fenna! Thank you for making your videos enjoyable and entertaining to watch during this difficult time for us limerents.

[@followingfenna]

You are very welcome and thank you for the compliment !

[@DempseyArnold]

Thanks Fenna. 8 long years! No more in 24!

[@deniseblack7253]

YES! A video in this topic, I have been suffering so much.

[@followingfenna]

Hope it helps Denise :)

[@Diachachimba]

I never want to think of her again.

[@cheesenoms]

I am still in this situation... I tried to cure my limerence by telling her how I feel so that the inevitable rejection (she has a boyfriend) would be my reality check and stop the limerence. It didn't work! Yes, I got rejected and she didn't talk to me for months actually (which was hard) but the obsession still hasn't gone away. I keep convincing myself one day she will leave her boyfriend and get with me instead... I'm feeding the fantasy. I like what you said about it being a behaviour/ choice because I do sometimes let myself fantasise. I've gotta work hard now to stop this, before I go mad with the irrational hope. Thanks for the video

[@followingfenna]

Let reality sink in if you can and start to grieve. Grieve the fantasy , the hope and grieve this person. Good luck !

[@RockListeningChick]

Thank you for uploading this here Fenna much appreciated.

[@followingfenna]

You are very welcome 🙏

[@accionaptime4276]

I have felt limerence for my co-worker for probably over a year now, but I can honestly say that, taking the approach in this video plus some other measures, I am not in the same level of pain I was when I first started starving out the feelings. Yes, not being able to go fully no contact is a disadvantage that unfortunately could be prolonging the process, but I have come to accept what I feel for her as background static in my mind that will simply stay with me for a while. It's distracting and it's frustrating and sometimes it hurts so much that I just want to clamp my hands over my ears, but I have what it takes to turn the volume back down and keep it low. And then hopefully, one day, maybe I'll think about it again and realize that I don't hear it anymore.

[@5gx673]

I wish you well. For me it was like a cloud of gnats around my head

[@followingfenna]

Wauw, thank you for sharing this. I hope so too and congrats on the progress so far!

[@ba-dum_tss]

In my past I managed to use my obsessive feeling with my coworker for managing hard to meet deadlines. I take it as blessing that I managed to do that because of the coworker was mature enough too to understand what was going on. And was very mature to handle me.

[@followingfenna]

Good to hear that!

[@flower_7890]

Very good content 👌 thanks I cringe because I've done all of them things😬 I would add: not listening to a music and thinking of them/ fantasising.

[@followingfenna]

Good point! And we've all done all of them : D

[@ebackvon]

Well done, Fenna! This is a universal theme that is very prominent in the workplace. Professional boundaries can get blurred with social interactions. Sometimes, it is tough being human or living as a human being 😊

[@followingfenna]

Thank you Eric. Yep we are human, with everything that comes with that

[@marzlove97]

It's been a year and 2 months since I fell in Limerence for my co worker. 7 months since we stopped working together and still my Limerence is so strong for her. I wish I could go back in time and never get close to her because this is the most painful thing ive ever felt in my life. I can't see a way forward

[@followingfenna]

Just keep going, it will get better, really.

[@flower_7890]

Yeah keep going, I've been where you are right now and believe me you'll be ok, happy again. It took me 2 years, now I'm happier than ever 😊

[@Tilltheend670]

I was in that situation twice. Three episodes in two different workplaces. In one case I was lucky because I got fired and never saw her again. During the second case, I got also lucky, more than I could imagine. My LO resigned from work and I dated her briefly and almost got into a relationship with her. As soon as the possibility of a relationship arose...my limerence suddenly burned out. Both women were the same kind of women, basically borderline/narcissistic. The same person with a different "package". I always felt limerence works like a script. My last episode was very short, but it was also the same type of woman and yet again the same workplace as episode no.2. Three episodes in 10 years, I miss the high and I'm lonely as ever. Don't want to settle.

[@followingfenna]

I understand you miss the high. Good luck to you and thank you for sharing.

[@manuelg4870]

Thanks. Very interesting topic here.

[@followingfenna]

Thank you Manuel :)

[@maryrowery80]

I am joking that I always need to have "vicrim", a person to go crazy about - whether I am in a relationship or single I usually will end up with someone I fantasize about on the side. Usually from work, in the past school. It used to go hand in hand with eqaully strong limerance (if cam be called si as well) about completely made uo characters. I belive I used to suffer from maladaptive daydreaming, which is kind of "cured" now. The limerance is still active part of my life. I also think that being prone to addictions (substance addictiona not active at the moment fortunately) comes from the same place, its all interchangeable

[@followingfenna]

Yes it is, was there unpredictability in your childhood? Thank you for sharing this information!

[@maryrowery80]

@@followingfenna nothing extreme in my childhood, but if you look closely I was left alone with my thoughts a lot, trying to hideaway from conflicts, depression and general dysfunction between my mom and grandmother (no father in the picture). I've certainly was in these imaginary, limerent relationships way more then in real life relationships, which are usually very hard and painful for me - but I do keep on trying :)

[@billcarney829]

I just recently learned what limerence is. Now, after watching your videos, I now realize that this sounds to me like it's a SILENT EPIDEMIC. I almost wish that I was totally ignorant of this phenomenon. It sounds like, at times, being stuck in a maze that's on fire. The rest of the time you're on cloud 9.

[@followingfenna]

Haha well in the beginning you are on cloud 9 , not after a while

[@sleeplessss78ss]

How can i get rid of it? no contact is impossible. i have to see him every day at work. 15 years ago i refused him bec.of being limerent for another boy, now he has become My co-worker. I regret for refusing him every breath i take, but he is unavailable, married with children. Please help me Fenna.

[@followingfenna]

Of course I have one on one coaching for help and guidance And I'm very sorry this happened to you. You are not alone Sleepless

[@emmadedic4483]

Like the movie '' Love actually'' , there were to of the characters in limmerance. I think that movies have influence why we develope thendencies..

[@followingfenna]

watched it a long time ago, maybe i should watch it again

[@kurtallen12]

Could use more on this topic. I have been limerent for a co worker about a month now. She's been there a year or so, and I didn't used to be limerent for her, and during that time I got strong indications she was interested in me. We got along very well, and I probably fed some of that, but didn't act on it bc we work together. Now I've realized I've developed limerence for her, and I tried to distance us for a few days but just couldn't keep it up. She's also going on random dates frequently and because we've talked extensively so much in the past, she keeps telling me about them and it's tearing me apart. My thoughts are nearly constantly on her. Anybody here have advice they think would be helpful?

[@followingfenna]

Well, why would it be impossible to be together?

[@kurtallen12]

@followingfenna Well, I suppose it wouldn't be impossible but it doesn't seem like a good idea since we work together and I'm a level above her. I believe there are also some incompatibilities. And I also feel that interest she may have had before probably no longer exists, which is why she's going on so many dates now. And that's assuming I wasn't lying to myself back then. I still get *some* indication of possibly interest but I'm convincing myself that it's just my brain perceiving what it wants to be true. By the way thank you very much for answering Fenna.

[@sychiang88]

Thank you Fenna. Every Wednesday, there will be team lunch, shall I avoid that too? But it will leave the LO to have time with our manager and I don’t like that, either. Thank you.

[@TonyA-vu1zt]

I was in a similar situation and it is hell, I was jealous about other male coworkers, checking to see if she’s texting while working. 5 months of this and I finally had enough. I tried everything in this video (nothing works) It’s a very heart breaking situation. Not only did I quit my job, I moved out of state. I even had to break most contact with some other coworker (good friends) so much fear of finding random info about her. I was terrified to walk in the office and hear her talking about a date she was going on or she met someone. Anything that would feed my mind to go crazy! I am still in limerance with her, but it has greatly diminished since leaving. I hate to say this but you may want To seriously think about a new job Sorry

[@Romantina333]

I've gone through the exact same thing, and this hurts like hell! Good for you for being brave and doing what's best for you to get away from that situation. If I don't shut down over my LO soon, landing a new job is my next move. Best of luck!

[@followingfenna]

avoiding is best, good luck!!!