LIMERENCE: Briefly You See The DIVINE In Everything (And Then You Chase It To The Death)

[@bodytrainer1crane730]

I like the idea that limerence is a form of spiritual hunger.

[@ayesha_kay]

How? could you elaborate

[@1BellaSoul]

I like it too. Because I have suffered and gained from my limerence. I’m glad to know that it wasn’t real love. But I like being able to use that attraction to correct my view of myself. I also believe that all things work in my favor. My Limerence saved me many times from severe depression and it forced me to move which created so many blessings for me. I pray daily so all things are revealed. I love feelings of love. Use these wisdoms to your knowledge

[@krystianurban5421]

​@@ayesha_kay I've heard on another video(on another channel) that limerence makes you chase people that have something that your inconscious thinks you're missing(like confidence, being able to make good decisions etc.), maybe that's what he meant

[@somcana]

I agree. When faith is low or feeling spiritually low the limerence feeling goes up.

[@gilanaf1347]

Sooo good. This is why I don’t like the concept of “when you meet the one, you just know.” Because some of us knew. Oh boy, did we know! But it was limerence.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Ha! Exactly. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@jarkachalmovianska7812]

But what if we knew... for real. You go through the life passing 1000s of people and nobody touches you or your soul but 1. What is it then if not something special?

[@repton007]

​@jarkachalmovianska7812 yeah and what if the feeling is repicericated but the feelings were too intense so you ran away not wanting to ruin it?

[@eurikavandyk6589]

Totally agree

[@smallypuppy22]

Damn 😂

[@ap0llx]

I recently realized how tarot and twin flame beliefs were fueling my magical thinking about a very plainly limerent situation. The bubble bursting has been devastating, more than I can put to words. Your videos on limerence have helped me understand what happened, and I hope that healing will start soon. Thank you

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm sorry to hear how difficult that realization was for you, I know how painful it can be. You're in the right place and we're all here to support you through this healing journey. -Calista@TeamFairy

[@loveinthematrix]

Yes..

[@sunnyhunn9315]

Very true. The whole twinflame narrative is such a demonic and excruciatingly painful reality to give your emotions into, it’s unfulfilling because it keeps you running around in a loophole of what you desire and the reality you desire with them that clearly this person doesn’t agree to go on with you. When the bubble burst, it’s heart shattering but it’s necessary because limerence causes us to bury our hearts in someone who’s not available to take care of it. I literally had to pray myself out of this nonsense, the soul ties it creates, I came across a Bible verse that says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life // Proverbs 13:12.” And another verse that soothes my heart is “The blessing of the LORD makes one rich, And He adds no sorrow with it // Proverbs 10:22.” When it’s a blessing from God, it doesn’t add sorrows into our lives but it enriches it.

[@aliyarahman85]

I have been down the twin flame rabbit hole, and found myself in emotional slavery. I was waiting and waiting for him, for any contact. I am now detoxing, and so much sadness pouring out of my heart space. This was by far the most compassionate account of what the experience is all about.

[@rachelross5829]

As a Christian, I knew these things were not right but delved into it and got trapped. I didn't make love to this man I thought was the one and staying celebat is key for me to stay free from any of it. Getting delivered from these things for me was done by grace of God.

[@glennasaurus81]

I'm 42 years old and the only relationships I've had have been in my head, it's killing me

[@lucybrowne62]

😢

[@305kaddillak]

Omgoodness..same! I'm just starting to realize how detrimental it is

[@erichminkle1167]

Dude.. you are not alone.. its awful

[@flexaeterna]

I’ve been a limerent person since at least 5 year old. My first limerent object was my teacher and i formed a whole world about our relationship in my mind! Then my whole life I’ve had stages of limerence, innocently thinking that all crushes were like this. The wake up call was more recently when a limerent object rejected me and it took me 2 years to get over. This is a very real condition of a confused heart and mind

[@samia6888]

How did you get over it?

[@flexaeterna]

@@samia6888 being more aware of it and using a bit of will power

[@samia6888]

@@flexaeterna you are over it 100%?

[@moonbeanification]

You have DEFINITELY found your calling Anna. You're a gift. Thank you forever ♥♥♥

[@theresabogart15]

I couldn’t agree more. I treasure your insights and demonstrations of what personal courage looks like.

[@sarahgwenable]

Great content👌, thank you so much! 🤍

[@Tass3030]

As I was listening to this, something struck me and I opened comments to comment on what struck me and this first comment is the same thing that struck me about Anna. Here’s my comment “ Anna, all of ur words are words of someone who has taken a lot of time and effort and reflection however it’s seems to come out of u in such an effortless wisdom. ❤ u lady!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wow, thank you

[@Chubby_auntie]

Yes! I literally said outloud “ANAAAA, I’m stuck, pull me out of it!” ❤ she’s my new obsession. I’m limerent for Anna 😂

[@Elsie144k]

This video is pure gold. Transmuting the shame of being limerant into something meaningful, purposeful, and transcendent. Redefining limerance as a fragment of contact with the person you really are; the version of yourself that wants to be expressed in this world. Thank you Anna

[@esotericdarkangel4971]

this comment really brought it all in for me

[@CarolSteinfeld]

Well put

[@moniquemichelle7295]

“There are different chemistries with each person. There are somethings you’ll never find exactly in another person or in yourself. The way we come together with each person who we become close to is unique and potentially quite special”. I stopped there because this explains how our uniqueness is our super power. ❤ Everyone deserves people who can and will be with them, exploring that unique chemistry.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes!

[@marilynking527]

🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@flexflow4602]

What we deserve and what we get is unfortunately not the same. You can claim, you can expect, if you are strong and smart you can work - yet, there is no guarantee nor right of nature that you get what you want.

[@mindsigh4]

@@flexflow4602 in the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity _to accept the things i cannot change_ ...." i ask myself, so, what are some of these things that i cannot change? 1. the past. 2. other people. sure, we influence, help & put each other thru hell sometimes, but what we think we want is not the same as what we need.

[@INFJ2]

Awe Limerance. The eacape from reality learned in early childhood to escape the horror of what was in front of us in abusive childhoods ...fantasy to escape reality

[@flexflow4602]

Obsession and idealization - yes! Yet, the void and longing is hard to take. That this kind of love will never become true is depressing, terribly sad.

[@ms.rlsteele351]

I have tried to work through this for 47 years. It's more difficult for two reasons: one, because we knew each other and reciprocal families for two years before the romance began; and two, because of when and how he told me that he had made the difficult but necessary decision to chose me or the other lady he had been seeing in his home town (I lived 4 hours away.) We are still friends and keep up on our own families and his work. They married and I married. After almost 20 years, we divorced. After 45 years, they are still in love.

[@taghazoutmoon5031]

So glad to hear someone not advertising self love and saying all you need is to love yourself

[@nckg_oe]

I was having limerence, and I was trying to regulate myself. What you said about having a glimpse of a version of yourself you want to become helped a lot. It's easier to process the feeling as a desire to be someone. I can self-reflect by telling myself, "You have a wish to be someone. It's OK to have the wish and it's OK if you don't get to be that person, and it's OK to feel sad about it".

[@loveinthematrix]

well geesh

[@AdventuresAwait123]

Yip yip!

[@asai1244]

I think this is probably one of the most important aspects of limerence, there's a quick glimpse of the heart of the divine, but is then misplaced into the external world. It can truly be a glimpse of the spirit of God. I think limerence can lead the lonely and brokenhearted to a closer relationship with the divine spirit that lives within, but the WAY to do this isn't very well understood and is very hard to convey. It seems that, in lieu of teachers who can teach this, suffering has to be the teacher. Thanks, Anna, I think this is one of your most important videos.

[@christinacatalano]

This comment is outstanding. ❤

[@Jothecake]

I understand this ,it's one of the best ways I have heard it be explained x

[@sarahalessa78]

Asai, this is absolutely exquisite.

[@Elsie144k]

Wow thank you for this comment. I have been so confused about the limerance I had for a particular person because on one level it opened up my lonely and broken heart to so much love I had inside me that I didn’t know what to do with. The walls and barbed wire around my heart were gone and replaced with wings. Ofcourse the pain that ensued when not reciprocated was palpable. But it sparked some positive changes in my life none the less. It was a kind of catalyst I suppose. I am now going within in meditation and have found much peace there.

[@asai1244]

@@Elsie144k, I'm glad you're finding peace now, that's ultimately what we all want, isn't it?

[@Duchesselouise]

Sometimes a limerant object serves us a purpose to reach our higher potential … we often admire traits in others that we do possess and have forgotten but we need to believe it - this can be a long process of it’s self!

[@eszterpeterfai3462]

Exactly. They call this repressed aspect of ourselves "the golden shadow" - and we tend to fall in love with people who display these traits which we seem to lack.

[@amandaburger2506]

My partner and I were both quite limerent on eachvother when we met. The magical aspect didn't stay and it was really hard when the illusions shattered the relationship was definitely near ending more than once. We've had to do a lot of work, be open to a lot of growth, and willing to keep working through the hard things. It's been worth it to have someone willing to work through their trauma and hold space while I work through mine, but the limerence is not what made it work or made it last.

[@_6-6_]

Thank you. This helped me so much.

[@flexflow4602]

Wow, it’s amazing that you managed to overcome that as a couple.

[@mookingbird]

There is limerence in every relationship at all stages. There is nothing wrong with it and people should pursue their heart. It’s rare to meet someone whom you can have chemistry with. We just need to make sure that we are not pursuing it selfishly and unrequitedly for too long. But limerence is an element that can be found in real relationship.

[@loveinthematrix]

wow that's amazing you both worked through together. rare

[@houston4290]

Amazing comment …we shouldn’t be ashamed to go after what we want …spiritually we understand what we need …reality is we gotta pursue …if it doesn’t work …leave

[@jamie.church]

What a beautiful take, Anna. As someone who has struggled with spending way too much time in fantasy thinking and limerence, through a lot of self work I have come to a similar conclusion about the fact that when we are stuck in these patterns we are responding to a call of something big and beautiful, but we're just looking outside of ourselves to get it, which always ends up leaving us in want. Thank you for these videos and connecting us all together as humans!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Well said!

[@flexflow4602]

Agree. Yet sometimes this living in fantasy and limerence is a life saver.

[@foley1family]

This was so helpful and absolutely destroyed the shame I had about being limerant. It was truly the last shame I had, and things are changing for the better so fast.

[@smileyface702]

Woo hoo!! I love Anna's compassion for this reason.

[@mint_soup9743]

I'm experiencing this right now. I have to say I was afraid to click on this because I'm already feeling disillusioned enough as it is, I was afraid to pour acid on an open wound. What I found instead is someone who relates and can help me move through this with both gentleness and practicality. Thank you so much, Anna. 💗

[@bacardichasers]

i've been having limerence episodes my entire life. actually, when it comes to romance, limerence is -- almost -- all i've had. i tried to watch your videos on the topic but i kept breaking into tears, so i stopped. anyway, thank you so much for talking about this. it just so happened that a few weeks ago i wrote a small poem (i hate this word, it puts pressure on me) about what it's like to be experiencing limerence all the time, to a point of exhaustion, and i'd like to share it here. what it feels like it feels like being locked up in an endless february night with no one to trust, with no one to say “it’s alright, it’s gonna pass” it feels like being left alone in the middle of a madding crowd hands suddenly cold, i make my way out then stumble on home, eyes down, reading the sidewalk it feels like facing your worst enemy that takes no prisoners he’s callous, grave-cold, insensible to reason, he breathes indifference to whether you live or die it feels like watching life go by through the bars of a cage whatever i do, wherever i go, the pattern’s never gonna change i’m a book with a thousand pages, all of them blank it feels like being told that you’ll never amount to anything real wrapped up in silence, i look at myself in the mirror she says to me, subtle and weary: “let’s go to sleep..”

[@theartofthefart523]

Beautiful poem! Please write more! You have a talent.

[@valess]

I agree, it's very beautiful, thanks for sharing that with us 💜

[@bacardichasers]

@@valess thanks, you're too kind

[@synchronicityrain8856]

omg i needed that... thank you, it resonates perfectly right now. i hope you find peace. and keep writing ❤

[@synchronicityrain8856]

also can I post this poem on my telegram channel?

[@l.landren544]

My deepest limerent experience, which also hurt the most when it ended, was healing in many ways. First I was surprised by the depth of hope and joy I felt, and how much beauty and meaning I was capable of recognising around me. This was when I was coming out of deep burnout and depression, and my old relationship was ending, so it had been a long while since I felt those feelings - so long that I thought they weren't for me! I was delighted to discover I was wrong. There was of course the delusion that this person wanted me too, if only the time were right, and I was so sure that they loved me, I convinced myself that people can love me deeply. We did become friends and had both good times and also terrible fights and soon ended things, and even though it really hurt, I managed to determine that the awful things he said were abuse, not truth. I'm now in a new relationship where I had a tiny bit of limerence type emotions when I was getting to know him, but turns out he did want me, and surprisingly when we got together, I stopped having my head in the clouds but definitely wanted to stay. For a time I was almost worried if my feelings are deep enough because they don't go high and low. Then I realised this might be my most healthy attempt at love ever.

[@flexflow4602]

So happy for you!

[@mariotcarreon]

If God wants that person for you, you won't mess it up. Thank you I needed to hear that. :)

[@HouseOfAliShali]

This reminds me of how Esther Perel said that often people cheat on their partner because they meet someone who shows them a new version of themselves, the person they might become. It’s not so much the other person but the desire for self-growth. I admit to being in limerence with various men for the majority of the last 10 years, watching tarot and love readings online, etc. Things are improving though. Appreciate your free content very much.

[@tia4936]

Insane u say this bc I had limerence w this guy (same name as u!) and I always saw his name everywhere (like now) and today I saw his name like 3 times today randomly (but I’m over it, and much better he just pops up sometimes) and I also indulged in tarot…shit gets real smh.

[@marilynking527]

Something that really struck me was when you said the belief we can’t go on without one person is false. This is something I believed for so long and now I finally see that life goes on and I can be happy without the one person I thought I couldn’t live without. Thank you Anna!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing! So glad you're here. -Calista@TeamFairy

[@fireflythinking1290]

I've been thinking about this for months, this question of "Can I really find that magical hope I felt around the othet person, in myself without them?" I keep telling myself that the other person did not create this magic, I did, it was my own perception that made the world feel beautiful and intense. But I don't feel it for true in my heart, and I can't invoke that feeling in me... It feels lost in the past.

[@smallypuppy22]

Give yourself time. I am finding it again. The divine is everywhere you look if you pay close attention

[@RockyRoad17]

my current object of limerence is someone who mirrors my wounds and it seems to me that they too are having the same experience as I. It’s by far the most destructive situationship I have had, in a matter of 2-3 weeks it all went up into flames and the intensity almost consumed me. But through it all I discovered my own strength and capacity for love and I am more aware now of how deeply my soul craves love and connection. I believe everything happens for a reason and I am grateful I got to learn things about me that are guiding me into healthier relationships. thank you for your content, thanks to you I have been feeling supported and less alone in this experience

[@layeokoh8006]

This is exactly how mine is

[@RockyRoad17]

@@layeokoh8006 thank you for sharing, my therapist did not understand at all 🤣 but because you do, I feel a lot better about going through this intense experience. Hang in there ❤️

[@Molly-t3c]

I could have written these words, Lou. The person I've been limerent for, I truly believe we did have a connection and, when times were good, it was like living life in technicolour...but, they turned out to be abusive, I called them out on it and everything collapsed. I'm a week in to going "cold turkey," no contact and it feels like hell, but Anna's videos and realising that other people, all over the world, also experience limerence - it helps to put it all in to perspective. Hang on in there, with getting through this, too 😊 🙏

[@mgn1621]

Mirroring your wounds is not a bad thing….relationships are our greatest opportunity for healing

[@trusound170]

Have you ever thought about something or someone until you feel exhaustion, yet you still just can't stop? I have had times when the thoughts were very much like listening to the same music on a loop all day. Like if you work in retail and they have the same 15 songs on repeat all day or night. Or like drinking or eating too much of the same thing all day. The palate becomes fatigued. Our thoughts are essentially consumed by our bodies and brains. I have come to be much more awre and conscious about what I do with my mind. I do my best not to allow it to just run wild and do whatever it wants. Thanks to this channel, I have learned to recognize limerence. I begin asking myself questions and doing a mental discussion, or even I do a flow chart or metacog on paper to work through the thoughts and feelings that are trying to consume me. It feel so good to regain control over this part of myself. I can't change my past, but the future is mine to create.

[@samia6888]

How are you doing now? Did you get over the limerence?

[@elvansavkl7972]

I have one advice for the people who listen others who have the problem. please please do not be eman and nasty and as a matter of fact. it makes it worse. just be gentle and understanding.

[@Choukobunbun]

When you say "maybe I could be more than I ever imagined I could be", that really hit me. I had a break up with my fiancé months ago, and ever since I have experienced the most intense limerance in my life. No matter how hard I try to stay present, my mind is constantly lost in fantasies of finally being that person I imagined I could be or more. I was never able to when we were together, and all I think about is us being together again and me finally being that person. I always loved him deeply and still do, but that makes me think that maybe the intense limerance is less about loving him and more about my failure to be what I hoped to be in the relationship.

[@AbbeBuck]

“Unrequited loves a bore, And I’ve got it pretty bad, But for someone you adore, It’s a pleasure to be sad.” These lyrics were written in 1936 by Lorenz Hart. Limerence is never reality.

[@Xarynnaxarynna]

I started at 11 with penpals, chat with men 10000 miles away , falling for unavailable people...narc. violent father , bipolar mother...I am the scapegoat...turned 40 ,no real relationship ... at least I understood what happened to me and can heal. Thank you❤❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@whimsypeace6927]

Great video. I recently went through an experience that felt like limerence, although there was no doubt it was a mutual connection. I felt myself falling into old patterns and codependency, so I pulled way back and worked on myself. I've really worked to view things logically not emotionally. Now it feels like the connection is gone but there is a chance of friendship b/c it has so many boundaries. Its interesting how disappointing it feels, there is a hurt to understanding it was a trauma response, that the person isn't as great you thought they were, and the connection that great. You'd think it would be a relief to no longer feel the pains of limerence. Or maybe it's the realization that they likely don't care for you since the feelings inside yourself are gone or changed now. Its a strange feeling coming out of limerence. I should feel relief, but I feel sad. And I think I doubt love or any idea I've ever had of love.

[@Elsie144k]

@whimsy peace I felt that way about love too but coming out the other side of it now. I am more hopeful now of a sweet tender balanced love grounded in reality without the highs and lows with someone who sees me and gets me and wants to stay. I believe it’s possible

[@lynnmarieanderson1744]

I can definitely relate to how you’re feeling. Years ago I had a brief relationship that now I can understand it was limerence going on. And I feel a lot of guilt and shame for getting involved with this person. It seemed amazing when we first got together. Then not much later when reality hit me I felt really used and like I fell for a joke. This happened years ago and I feel in some ways like I’m still not over it. For a brief time I felt like I was living the life of a character in a romance novel. It was very intense. I never thought I could feel like that about someone. And now he’s gone and I’m left wondering if I’ll ever feel like that about anyone else. This guy really did a number on me.

[@mntccd]

I wish we could know how they felt - good, bad, or indifferent. The whole unvarnished truth. I think it would help us a lot.

[@tamiz8895]

I wasted many, many years in this state. But part of me was always thinking that the fantasy was so much better than reality. That’s possibly why I never made any moves towards the objects of my affection. Being aware of this state of mind takes the power they hold away. I find myself snapping out of it because I understand it now, the actual logic behind it…that alone has helped me a lot -to have a “name” for it as well as an awareness of it.

[@BATgirl57]

The timing of this topic couldn’t have been any better! I just experienced limerence in a big way and while it lasted, I felt like a giddy teenager, on top of the world! THEN... reality set in and I started to descend into a dark place and this video is a godsend! One healing thing I did was to write a letter of all I was grateful for in this limerent fling and surprised myself with all the good I could be thankful for! I kept the writing in my journal to remind me, but I don’t feel any need to say these words to him- he doesn’t deserve me and now I’m relieved it didn’t work out! Learning, growing and getting better all the time!!❤️

[@BobSmith-kd4oc]

Problem is when these people get disappointed by the people that they have turned into an idol they get narcissistic and then they want to destroy you.

[@a.d.b535]

I'm still limerant after 2 years and just quietly comfy around him, but he doesn't show up the way I need.

[@Ikaros23]

It’s important to see that the fantasy’s where created to protect us, when we where children. Because if the caretakers around us where neglecting/ubuseing us, we were litteraly helpless/powerless. This created the trauma and dissorders in the brain ( codependency, narcissism, cptsd and others). That is to protect the mind from the danger it is in. But when we are no longer a child we no longer need the fantasy

[@existentialcrisis8321]

I definitely feel existential limerence. It's the best way I can describe it. It's not quite 'wanting to be in a relationship with the limerent object' for me personally, I feel like it's something a bit different. I want to be in a relationship with space, with the earth, with the human experience, but I'm somehow disconnected from it. Perhaps it comes from the fact that my life feels so small, and a lack of fulfillment. For me, limerence and grief/heartbreak are very similar feelings. Perhaps it's something more spiritual, though I don't consider myself religious.

[@jellysworld]

Wow learning about limerence has been very eye-opening for me. I've only dealt with this once and it was deeply painful I didn't realize cptsd and abandonment issues had something to do with it. I was caught in a loop with someone and finally broke it cold turkey also tarot readings added to it in the most toxic way possible. I'm glad to be out of it I told my friend it felt almost like a spell that was broken when it all became clear. Now I feel sort of embarrassed I let it waste a lot of my time and energy. 😓🙁

[@mntccd]

The most incredible thing she said to me was “You get me!” You get me. I will never forget that moment, or how it felt.

[@sudeshnam1672]

My addiction to tarot card reading is now understandable

[@Iudicatio]

I can sort of see this perspective. All of my real relationships have been damaging and no fun. When I have been feeling limerance I always imagined finally having a happy relationship with someone who values and appreciates me. And limerance was a way to Imagine that this is possible.

[@gymstrip]

This video is incredibly healing and validating. I’ve been stuck vacillating between savouring the crush and beating myself up for being so hopelessly limerant. This context of spiritual hunger and the glimpse is so reassuring. I have some place to go now and a softer judgement of myself. Thank you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We understand as few others can! I’m glad you’re here. -Frida@TeamFairy

[@camilla8129]

I can't thank you enough for this💛 I'm someone very prone to limerence, it happened to me many times even tho I'm young, but now I'm trying to break free from the most intense I've ever had. It checks all the marks, I found comfort in it by seeing my best parts in someone else, I found my spirituality and I'm still trying to separate my delusions and my actual beliefs, I found meaning. It's someone I'd still like in a different setting and I'm not bothered by his humanity, so I'm open to the possibility that life will bring him back when I'll be able to have a healthy attachment. But until now I've been using this connection to fill the voids in my life, and I'm starting to accept that I have to face them on my own

[@staceylugada163]

I love that you mentioned God (and hopefully the God of the Bible and Jesus Christ) but I've just been praying to get over this feeling and I found your videos. Thank you so much, it makes me feel so much better knowing I'm not the only one and I'm not crazy for thinking this. And thanks be to Jesus Christ for he breaks every chain that holds us captive. We can get over this, to anyone who is reading! 💝 Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth and the Life! Be blessed💓💓

[@staceylugada163]

I also want to ask, I find myself fantasizing over the future and plans I have for maybe a dinner I'm going to that evening like something small all the way to what my future apartment in a big city will look like in 3 months. Almost always these expectations are not met and Im unable to fully enjoy these dinners with my amazing friends or enjoy the moments because I wanted/expected so much more. How can I stop living in the future/fantasy and just focus on the here and now?

[@richardferrara]

I have personally experienced friend zoning someone to be met with resistance. There are many suffering from limerence with restraining orders, and are patients in state hospitals. I presently suffer from severe anxiety and recently lost a family member. The dynamic of limerence would make my brain explode. NO THANK YOU

[@evonne315]

This is like the obsession with my ex, who was manipulative and very damaging. Its taken about 3 years I finally feel there is hope I can stop hoping we can one day get back together. Like it would magically be healthy and he could ever be trusted again. I may never the feel the same with anyone else, life may never feel the same, but I know now thats a good thing. My mind has never been so clear as it has recently, detoxed from him.

[@RoseRUSH]

I've been isolated for years without being able to drive and barely walk. Seems this is all I think and hope and pray for that I recover from this. I was left for someone else and so many things I could not perform. I try very hard just to make it thru the day and when I do I tell the 14 yr old kitty ~ we made it thru another day ~ now for years.

[@creatingme7327]

This makes perfect sense. I had my first love feeling or crush the min. I saw him walking into the auditorium. It was my first day of 7th grade. It was love at first sight. My body felt this weird feeling and he was everything. After getting to know him throughout the year, He knew I liked him, I couldn't tell him because I was scared but I knew he didn't like me. I kept looking at him, smh I was gawking a little too much lol. We actually were somewhat friends. He was charismatic, nice, and cute, he talked like he knew everything or had great insight. I remember going home crying when I learned he didn't like me and I felt something was wrong with me and I remember even now I wanted that "love" that I had gotten from myself when I looked at him, I think more of the feeling as well as just talking to him. During that time I was also in my head even more and I was into anime so the visual in my head was shifting and changing as I was growing but I realized well right now, I was also not in a good head space, I was insecure and wanted to be loved cuz I wasn't getting it with family or myself. Right now at 27, I still think of him but the visual has modified into something else and I changed the name and think about this now person as a love that I love but I don't know how to stop it so that I can move forward. I'm in therapy but my therapist doesn't know about Limerence.

[@barbaraayarza5352]

Thank you so much for this channel Anna... I've shared it with my friend and family. I finally feel validated and understand what i need to change in my thinking process. I never knew HOW MUCH and HOW MANY my behaviors were related to my trauma. You have empowered me and I thank you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You're most welcome

[@healingwithtarot]

Recently I keep coming across vidoes where people talk about how things comes together later in life and all the "little things" here and there makes a greater picture. Like the puzzle coming together. I really need to hear that in my life right now, so thank you for sharing your story 🙏 I feel limerence too is "easier" when you haven't found your place in the world, because I think we search for it in another person in an unhealthy way. When we have that calm in who we are and what our role here in earth is, I think that we will be less prone to limerence. I hope so at least 😅

[@lisbethbird8268]

Yes I think you're onto something in the divine, magical, even supernatural sense of it. Even if you know the attraction is not appropriate or realistic, it wakes up a part of yourself that's been sleeping. I also thought that limerence plus obsession with it to be the polar opposite of the kind of dark hate and fear one might experience after narcissistic abuse is recognized.

[@jbucheli]

I love how you manage to provide a perspective of things that makes one feel hopeful, while remaining honest about hardships and losses. Thank you so much for what you do.

[@lorraineclark-sako6749]

This is right on!!! I just realized I have this light and magical feeling within myself without this person. It took 3 years to realize it.

[@biondna7984]

This resonates painfully and clearly. And this LO is by far the most challenging one I've had. The challenge is that he is an actual person of value: teaches law enforcement skills, leads swat teams, all the classic hero qualities. I'm convinced that my limerence is my spirit, mind and body telling me that it's time for me to stretch out of my current comfort zone, and expand into areas I'm passionate about, enlarging my life, my circle of influence and my friends. So I'm working on that. It's slow going, compared with how fast and hard limerence slams into one's head. But I know it'll work. This isn't my first time around this bloody barn. And life will feel sweet and promising again.

[@cuteotter2165]

I remember going through this when I was 16. It was the first person I ever truly liked, my very first crush. I was going through some trouble at home and I think it made me focus on this crush even more. For a long time, I genuinely thought there was something wrong with me because this one boy didn't want me. It didnt matter how much attention i got from other boys or how pretty people told me i was, my self esteem hit rock bottom and I got involved with an awful person just to try and forget about the crush. It derailed my life for about 8 years. Now I look back and just wish I could talk to my younger self to say there was nothing wrong with me. It was limerance.

[@StarOnTheWater]

For me, same situation, cutting him out of my life and moving on did not do the trick. There's a reason you get hung up on a specific person. I contemplated a lot on what it was, that he embodied for me, that I was not expressing in my life and the realisation really changed my life. Because now I am actually that version of myself, that I could be with him, but all the time. Your psyche knows what it needs sometimes and you need to trust the process but also do the work. I think working with a good psychoanalyst can really help also when it comes to things like this. It's usually not even about the other person.

[@ameliel8792]

Wow I love this. You've probably said this in another of your videos but just thought it was worth mentioning that sometimes limerence actually isn't about the other person at all. It can be a stand-in, a distraction from the emptiness and sort of lack of identity that abuse and neglect left us with. I think it can be very confusing to have this compulsion to revere and pour love into another while still leaving ourselves hungry for what we didn't have due to trauma. What do you think? Is this referred to by a different term?

[@northofyou33]

Amelie, I agree. And that limerence is sometimes returned by the limerent object, which makes the whole thing so very complex.

[@ameliel8792]

@@northofyou33 yes totally. Do you mean then we are left confused and might go into a relationship even if the limerence was misplaced in the first place? I've experienced feeling restricted to only being able to show love to another and not a lot to myself which can be so horrible and lead to resentment. What a mess.

[@flexflow4602]

Absolutely. When I met him … it felt like someone has thrown a rope and reconnected me to the bloodstream. Via him I could reconnect to myself, to the world, to everything around me. It felt like magic and pulled me out of depression. At some point the lie collapses. It’s terrible. It’s got the power to destroy you. But when you are strong enough to survive, something good is left.

[@zoooejenkins]

You said it perfectly

[@onlyhisopinion2958]

Thank you for this Amelie! Your comment is just...wow! Can we please get in touch? I would love to discuss this more with you

[@kelsangpagma3783]

Thanks CCF ❤️ you have helped me to potentially save a good friendship and connection with someone before it was too late. Assuming I can detox from the limerence… Such fantasies have been a coping mechanism my whole life because of unbearable pain, but now I am so grateful to face it and eventually show up to my life… finally. Thanks again 🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@brenojacob9728]

You are helping me a lot, im Brazilian and suffering with Limerance, i discovered your videos by accident and put my perspective on the right place. I don't even know the girl and fall in "love" and now i discovered that is not love. Tks for that.

[@CBaskins420]

Wife and I have been together for 20 years we worked in the same building at work and this explains exactly what she did to me and unfortunately the person she wanted to be with for a year now is married to a teacher with multiple kids and does not want to be with her. She was able to use Limerence to sabotage a relationship and develop a hate for me. Just got out of homelessness for a month and she found wants to thing to do with me and we lost everything. She does even care about the kids because of this field to see. This is one bizarre thing that I’ve never heard anything about until I came across your video and it explains it all.

[@Hinoirashi]

Thank you. Your video is the best of any video, book, or article I’ve read so far. I love how you take the focus over the course of the video away from the LO and onto the individual’s personal growth. So many don’t do that. I had limerence for 8 years, then 12 years, and didn’t realise the damage I was doing with the daydreams. Last year i gained a new one (each episode only went away when the next one came along) and I decided “Nope, we are not doing that.” It’s tough but I’m working very hard on it. Your video really helped and you must massively be helping other people as well. Subbed ❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for subbing, we are so glad you found the channel! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@lilafeldman8630]

My life has been nothing but facing painful truths and hard realities. Realizing that everything I've always hoped for my life won't come true.

[@naomiealexandre9026]

that’s not true, she has a video on wanting love and getting it

[@billybobjenkins2893]

2600 gentiles are suffering this fate. Do not give up.

[@Avenray19]

Listen to Possibility by Lykke Li. Good song, speaks to that feeling.

[@lilafeldman8630]

@@billybobjenkins2893 yeah, I realized that. After all that's gone on in Gaza this past year, so many people's lives have been taken from them, their hopes and dreams smashed. I'm learning not to complain. Thanks for your lovely comment.

[@mtrevelyan221]

Christmas time 2020 I got hit by this condition without knowing what it was. In my case I simply saw a really old photograph of my then first wife while we were courting. The photo was over 40 years old but the instant I saw it I knew something quite horrible had happened in my brain. I was racked with compulsions and intense desire to be with her but I did not know if I wanted to be with her as we are now, 40 years on or as we were back then. The next two years were hell and I mean hell on earth. I almost lost my marriage and I had to medicate with antidepressants and benzos. It was a very painful time during which I contemplated suicide on a number of occasions. The thing is that the mental heath establishment had little if no knowledge of Limerence. I tried all sorts or therapies with all these people telling me they can help me but I don't believe they did. The only thing that I believe helped me was time. Now, over 2 years later I am what I would say 90% my self again. I still have occasional chest discomfort and brain zaps but I am out of the woods now and hoping I don't suffer this hideous condition again.

[@rachaelmacnair7133]

I found your channel a couple weeks ago and couldn't believe what I was hearing! Growing up in an individualist culture, I always believed I was a "special case" and now finding that limerance and *all* this cptsd stuff is a load that other people actually go through, is actually a relief like it's not just "who I am" and that I'm not just "a f***Ed up person" and there's this light I'm actually working toward is so freeing and I'm actually excited to be the person I was when I was in a limerance state with someone, also last year, who is this incredible person I thought could male all my dreams come true. I'm finding I can do that for myself so THANK YOU for all of these videos lol I have something productive to be obsessed over, not just a fantasy lol!! 💗💗😏

[@turkanismail1848]

Thank Goooood you mentioned the twin flame trap.i fell in it and am recovering.Your god sent you've given me what ive needed to hear. If you look for it, you win from being limerant its part of self development, even im in pain im developing. Who knows the future of myself and this guy. Love what you say, such a relief to get on with me. If its going to happen it will no matter what. Thank you, your an amazing experienced woman who describes this experience perfectly. So healing. Im soooo inspired! xx

[@mnnew6772]

This is the best one Anna’s ever done. Prompted by a very direct letter that was focused on his own issue.

[@emilyhaymond3634]

I still am trying to fully come to terms with my past limerent experiences because they were so crushing and brought so much shame and even trauma and retraumatization (particularly when I was mistreated, obviously). By the time I was ready for my relationship with my husband, I never got limerent with him, and our relationship was never really very "honeymoony" (although we had more than one honeymoon trip - they were great) for a lot of reasons that include my profound, severe, complex trauma and a really horrible situation with his ex-wife and teenage kids. I'm SO glad I was able to get past limerent experiences and keep believing that doing the work of relationships was worth it because doing the work of a great marriage with my husband is SO much better than any glimmer or fantasy in my limerence ever was. Thank you for teaching so much about limerence and trauma!! It really helps (me and the world). How wonderful you found your calling and are living it. I believe I am beginning to do the same!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for your comment. I'm glad you're here. Nika@TeamFairy

[@Jenandr48]

I love how you spoke about generating conditions for others to step out of the dream. Wow. Thanks so much for sharing this. I’m in this phase of cultivating my gifts for the purpose of sharing them and helping others. 💕

[@jessieyancy1695]

Thank you for ‘granting’ me that. I needed to hear that. I have been told to “date myself” and it irks me every time. The way you explain things is so very helpful!!!

[@yearofthedragonjane]

This is SO helpful for me to be hearing. All of your content. I have always experienced limerance and I can’t do it anymore

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So happy to hear that! Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@35mmonrose]

oh my god. the food to feed the dream…tarot card readings. they have prolonged my attachment to people for way too long

[@lpgirl]

I'm so thankful that you've found your calling, There's so much insight and wisdom here, Anna.

[@sharingearbuds]

You're so meticulous, thorough and heartful in your delivery - a true gem of a person

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are so kind

[@twinflamerehab]

This perfectly explains a lot of twin-flame connections. 100 percent the spiritual connection can be there. But we have to see when our needs are not being met. Both can be true. This is our soul level person and a connection that will not come together in a healthy way this life time. These connections leave us with nothing, which forces us into facing our pain. A true gift!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad you enjoyed the video! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@mgn1621]

If it gets you on a healing and spiritual journey, then its a good thing.

[@knobuhdy]

I was limerent on someone and we dated for 3 to 5 months and then she ended it and I lost my job lost my car started smoking again I didn't relapse but I just wanted to shut myself away from the world and that was 5 months ago I still feel pretty terrible like I don't know what to do with myself but people keep telling me how great I'm doing so I guess thats something

[@hellenatwongyeire6005]

Me and my ex broke up years ago and up to now I randomly start fantasizing about him like a crazy person. Lately I label it and remind myself it’s magical thinking 😅

[@mads6847]

I actually got what I wanted with 2 limerent crushes. First one turned out to not be what I wanted after all, second was a sarcastic jerk and not what I had imagined when seeing him at a distance. I left both of them, now trying to be alone and focus on my life without any escapism❤

[@dariash2068]

Thank you for this great vdeo. I am in the process of getting over the state of limerence and what can I say, it does feel like I was stealing my precious time to figure out what my gifts are by fixating on an idea of a person I had as a limerent object. It's way easier to obsess over someone you barely know than getting to know yourself more. It's a distraction, escape and trap.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yep, exactly! Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@susanlewis1875]

Anna, you sneaky thing! I was getting ready for bed and saw this in the queue and thought, Oh, I have a few minutes, I'll just watch this - limerence isn't on my radar just now, but... Truth is, limerence still isn't on my radar, but I sooooo appreciate your comments about finding what you're meant to do. I've been feeling pointless for years. I lived most of my life on the east coast and had a great community around me. Deep, deep love, friendships and professional success. Then I moved to the west coast to take care of my aging dad and it all ended. I've made attempts to build new connections, but they never worked out. My dad died about 6 years ago but I haven't been able to find the old me again. Your words in this video have given me hope! Thank you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I hear you. I’m glad you’re here! -Frida@TeamFairy

[@tboned1]

Everything you do is really helping me get through a hard time in my life thank you

[@comesahorseman]

One good thing about getting older is that those limerance episodes are getting shorter, and I move on more easily than when I was younger. I recognize them sooner.

[@nicholettej1742]

You’re the only channel that talks about this topic! Please continue - it impacts & can tie us up in many ways & many years!’

[@YelenaNef]

How are you sooo SPOT ON on every point?!! It feels like you're talking to me personally, everything is so relevant. THANK YOU, ANNA💜

[@latteda4652]

What I don’t want to hear is exactly what I need to hear! I’ve been in limerence for about ten years with someone I’ve loved for over 40 years. It’s sad. I feel like I’ve lost all my joy and creativity in the past ten years. It’s hard. I’ve fallen for everything you mentioned - psychics, twin flames, soul mates. I’ve had people tell me everything you mentioned. How could I be so traumatized after all these years? I just wish it would go away and leave me alone.

[@TranscendingTrauma]

Do like she said. Treat it like a drug addition. There are actually 12 step programs based around love addiction. Get yourself sober and get your life back! ❤

[@latteda4652]

@@TranscendingTrauma Yes, I’ve been talking to myself about it all day. I can do hard things. I can do this

[@TranscendingTrauma]

@@latteda4652 you can you do! 💪❤️

[@FaniRagoussi]

dear Anna, I find you gracefull anyway❤ my point is that hundreds of people may stricktly follow your practices (as of any other spiritual teacher etc) but maybe few of them will change and find peace. It is Grace after all that is an element that one might be granted to or not! am 69 years now, with two adult sons, divorced 30 years ago and with childhood rejection... my only peace is when my sons are close and include me in their life, which is not good either for them or for me! I could not manage to have close people around as from childhood I lived in my head. I am an artist, painter and piano student, my house is colourful and warm but I am lonely! This part of my life - relationships- never worked. I have followed so many spiritual procedures, psychological as well, philosophical a lot, but I ended up a loner ... I think maybe the universe planned it that way for me thank for all your brilliant videos that you generously share with us! 🙋‍♀️🌺🌺🌺

[@timothymoore3218]

I think for me, what spurs me on in this whole process is the release of dopamine. It was like if I wasn’t spending time with this person everything else seemed bland and even sad. I had never experienced this quite like I did just a few years ago. I had just gone through a very traumatic time and this person came along. She seemed to be able to chase the trauma away…yet she was unavailable. Some of her behaviors after awhile, shutdown the limerence. I have always had this tendency to fall very fast. In a way this particular experience helped me by letting me know the early warning signs and that what I probably was feeling in large part was that dopamine release.

[@bp51082]

For anyone that feels qualified to answer: would it still be limerence if you dated and were both openly extremely into each other, but they ultimately decided not to continue and you're having a hard time letting go? Not asking for a friend, and quite frankly I think we were maybe both a bit limerant (or infatuated) coming out of difficult times.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, limerence can happen for an ex. It's generally someone you can't have, and key sign is that you search for hidden meaning in their communication that they feel more than they say overtly.

[@bp51082]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thanks! Hasn't been any communication because I'm being good and moving on, but I definitely did pore over texts trying to figure out what the hell happened initially. Spoiler: textbook fearful avoidant behavior on their part, which I now know how to spot. Upside: became aware of and am working on my minority AP tendencies stemming from my mom's alcoholic years as a kid (she was not abusive, just unreliable, and Dad works nights, and I had to parent her/turn off the stove etc way too frequently way too young).

[@randyupladek1855]

I haven’t felt this kind of pain since my mom died.. This person helped paint this beautiful picture only to do a total 180 and discard me like I was nothing. I later found out from her family members that she’s done this to countless others and has a personality disorder. The person I first met was like something sent from heaven only to be actually from hell and she took me right into the flames .

[@brucehartnell1475]

So much truth in all of this. I fell for someone unavailable to me, and I worked really hard to go no contact with this person, but now she’s been elevated to a semi-supervisory position within our work group. She doesnt directly supervise me, and she has been seeking me out for advice and emotional support. That’s pretty frustrating…

[@JL-in3zo]

What about when you are a better person with them? You get up, you actually clean your house, you cook healthy meals, you exercise, you make and keep doctors/dentist appts, you actually get things done like you haven't done in so long. How do I get back to that person for myself? Not for anyone else but for myself

[@paniq_fnite]

Agreed. Sometimes, I feel like limerence love tends to give us the most motivation sometimes!!

[@annalyn_]

You are right, Anna! I am one of the lucky ones you mentioned during the video. I ended up in an amazing relationship with my lovely boyfriend after almost a year of unrequited love on my side. It definitely is a deeper connection between us and it has been like that from the very first day we met. However, I had to go through a lot of emotional pain & growth to understand & love the real person that's in front of me, rather than the fantasy character I made him out to be in my head. There is hope for everyone to find their ideal partner, soul-mate, twin-flame or whatever you belief system guides to you think. Just keep in mind that finding the right person won't be a shortcut to happiness. It won't be a "Forever Happy After" unless you really work for it together.

[@SongofBeauty]

Wow! Straight to the point. I love it. Thank you. So beautiful. You’ve really reminded me of the truth. Thank you! I’m a lifelong limerent addict and wasted so much time in fantasy. Thank you! I look forward to recovery for me in Christ. I want to bring others to the love and healing in Christ. ❤️‍🔥🕊️✝️🙏🏽

[@somcana]

Is there a late onset of limerence? I see people who were stable all there lives and become limerent. I wonder if midlife crisis is type of limerence. I hope you can respond to this as a video.

[@faithfulness69]

I don't know why this channel showed up in my feed just now, but I'm so glad I aligned with it. Had I only known this word 3 years ago, I would've been spared a whole lot of hurtin' and saved all that time from being wasted. Better later then forever stuck! Thank you Anna ❤

[@pandora9092]

I'm limerent on my live-in partner. We've lived together for more than 4 years. I moved countries to be with him. I left a good position (which I'm glad I did, I wanted to change careers, and managed that, I'm very happy professionally). I gave away or threw all my furniture and appliances. He made a lot of home improvements for me and hired me in his company initially. However, after a few months, he started pulling away. We discovered the attachment theory 1 year ago, and it seems like we've been in the anxious-avoidant trap. I've had to live for about 3 years now with a man telling me he couldn't feel anything for anything, and that includes me. As time goes by, he's become more and more withdrawn. He's also had some condition since several years before knowing me where he can't eat without passing out and getting skin issues. No doctor's found what the matter is. So he thinks it's due to stress, which it may be. The result is that he can't enjoy his life, he can't go to any activities he used to enjoy, and being with me has made it a lot worse. I now have seen my uniqueness, and even though there's a part of me that still wants to be with him, the reality is that we haven't really been together in almost 2 years now. He's been spending more and more time at his summer home. He comes and goes for weeks. Now has been the longest time, almost 2 months. I think that letting him go is actual love, rather than trying to hold on to this relationship that is making both of us miserable. However, I have trouble stopping the fantasies of being happy with him, even though I manage most of the time. I also can't control the nightmares. It's only very recently that I've been able to snap out of limerence with him, maybe 3 weeks, so it's still very fragile.

[@mgn1621]

What is the difference between codependency and limmerence?. This sounds like codependency.

[@faith-manages]

Wow. I've been watching your videos and they really struck me, very close to home. I wish that I had found this info out years ago but then again I might not have been ready for it. As far as self-love, I think it's God-love that people need to find first, which is something I'm leaning into more and more. God's love is what we're all missing and trying to fill in ourselves and without receiving that first we'll nearly always be trying to find things to fill that hole that can't be filled by anything but God. I'm interested in checking out your course but what has helped me so far is really working on finding belief in my heart in God's promises, "For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans for peace and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." And every day I'm finding that future and hope, more and more!

[@grabbelton]

I'm so tired to do it all alone. I need someone to support me in my daily life. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@tc4062]

Wow, this may be one of your best videos yet! As someone who often struggles with limerence, it resonates so much. Thank you ❤️

[@cherylduckworth8185]

He had me at hello. I don't know what it was but it was something; almost immediate.

[@philu4621]

God bless you for this. Going through this as a broken male at 34. Youre beautiful woman inside and out with great wisdom.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment. We're here to support you! Nika@TeamFairy