The 3 Reasons You Still Don't Love Yourself

I'm going to be honest - loving yourself takes work. It's not as easy as just deciding one day that you're going to do it. What it takes to love yourself is not just about trying to stop feeling bad about yourself, but it requires that you first deal with the mindset blocks, or self-defeating beliefs that are stopping you from being able to do it in the first place. In this video I teach you 3 reasons you still don't love yourself - even though you think you want to, and how to start getting past these blocks so you can build unstoppable confidence.
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#selflove #selfconfidence #loveyourself

[@juliakristinamah]

Tell me, what's one thing that connected with you from this video?

[@laylavaziri3504]

Hi Julia. I really appreciate how you remind us that not loving ourselves, not being emotionally intelligent, or whatever, does not mean "we're a terrible person". It is emotionally helpful to hear that. Thanks. Do you think there should be a balance when thinking about the three reasons you mentioned? I'm thinking in friendships, on the one hand we should try not to read into things too much, and on the other we should not accept disrespect. And since we are all different we should perhaps draw those lines ourselves and be clear about them when communicating with others? Maybe then some people would leave us or not like it (negatively affecting that relationship) but that's okay.

[@elipz6405]

Thank You Julia💐‼️ I’ve been taught I should be meek and not self indulgent. I can see the BIG difference between self love and narcissism. You have been a great person in my life changes🥰🌺‼️

[@RickBrannam]

I need to have clean thoughts & beliefs about myself. The road to self love is a bumpy ride.

[@sarahrettell88]

Over all knowing it’s only us that can take care of us

[@christopher22859]

I have bpd and even caring about myself at all is almost impossible. I've been doing dbt and therapy for almost a year now and this is such an important topic. I'm hoping I can incorporate this into my treatment.

[@ChelseaSeburn]

A big thing I did that helped me love myself was I broke my chains from being addicted to external praise. I didn't have the vocabulary to tell myself good things, so I would use other peoples approval, expectations, compliments to say them for me. This left me feeling empty and always insecure. I've learned how to break away from this and grow myself worth from my true self. It takes time but it's worth the effort!

[@silentgrove7670]

Yes !! I am learning this also.

[@davidknn2]

How did you do this?

[@juliakristinamah]

Amen to this. It's nice to have external validation, but it's not a great strategy to rely on it for our sense of self-worth.

[@Evv_7]

what were the actual steps you took towards this?? did you just stop asking for validation and validate yourself??

[@tanvimehendale3391]

@@juliakristinamah can you make a video on this ?

[@donnamcnamara8740]

I sat quietly and listened to this, at the age of 60 or nearly 60, I have always struggled with self love.... Never have I felt comfortable, when someone gives me a compliment, I find it hard to accept... Today my daughter rang me for a video call, I turned my camera off, I wanted to see her but felt so uncomfortable that she could see me... If I take time for myself, I feel so guilty, I sneak away and don’t let anyone know what I am doing incase I am judged, even to exercise, guilt envelopes me. Family first and you must sacrifice for others, that is what I witnessed with my Mother who I adored and did not give herself any time.. I am just being honest with myself, I have never felt I was worth the effort but after watching this......I am! Thank you!

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes you are!! I'm so glad that you're starting to believe it Donna.

[@marymcnamara3706]

Thank you too, Donna, and I'm almost 70 (and I think we had similar mothers!), and this is the first time I've understood the importance of self love, and what that might look like! Wow! (Thank you Julia, you're amazing!) Like you, Donna, I've always felt guilty about 'indulging' myself, thinking that was selfish, after years of having that drummed into me by the nuns 'think about others before yourself' etc, and always thinking the good thing, the right thing, was to please others, serve others, take care of others, and any notion of self-care, never mind self-love, was complete and utterly selfishness! Oh boy! Hopefully you, and I can both believe it and start acting like self-love is the first step to being a better and more loving and accepting human being. Hey, we both have the same surname, maybe we're long-lost cousins! Here's to a brighter future! 👍

[@shan6033]

Often times we think we can only be loved for what we do, not who we are. You are worthy of love simply because of who you are, with your unique personality and quirks that make you,, you.. Such a timely reminder to work on loving ourselves. Thanks for this Julia.

[@christopherpape4823]

Ha everyone says you are worthy of love but they never say anything convincing as to why. Usually boils down to something along the lines of "well, you're worthy of love because.... well you just are." Maybe this is a result of living in a Godless society? I'm always curious to hear people in the psych community, or anywhere else really, attempt to prove that we are worthy of love without bringing God into the picture. I've yet to hear anything convincing. But no one will ever acknowledge God and all other arguments are just weak at best. And then people wonder why no one believes they are worthy of love lol. Like many non believing philosophers said, life basically becomes meaningless without God. You can't prove that you're worthy of anything. Just some thoughts...

[@Leoo117]

@@christopherpape4823 Well, there is that scripture at 1 john 4:19 that says that we love because God loved us. It makes sense too, because we only know how to love when our parents show us love. We literally have to be taught how to love by being loved. Interesting, right? As an adult that wasn't taught this, we can still learn it, and it would be even easier to learn it by drawing close to the God of the bible. Also, lots of the wisdom we have learned that is psychologically healthy for us over the years, has actually already been in the bible for years and years. Its particularly fascinating to me because I really enjoy learning about psychological things, so finding out that the same type of wisdom was actually already available for us is pretty amazing.

[@shan6033]

@@christopherpape4823 Hi Christopher, that is a great question, thank you for the thoughtful comment. Feeling like you are worthy of love because of God vs feeling worthy of being loved as you are comes from two fundamentally different premises. I have more thoughts on this but since it touches on religion which can be such a sensitive subject I am going to steer clear of it for now. Thank you for this comment - it has definitely given me some food for thought.

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes to this. Glad you're here sis.

[@johnps30]

@@christopherpape4823 You were once an innocent infant brought into this world and you deserved the love and attention of your parents for simply being you. You were entitled to their love and protection. Infants can't love or protect themselves - they need others to love them so they CAN love themselves. So that they feel safe to grow and learn explore and develop. If you didn't receive that love or those lessons, you will struggle with the issue. If you didn't get it, you won't believe it until you open your eyes to the fact you deserved it and were worthy from the moment you were born. Find a picture of yourself as an infant - and ask yourself - does that infant have to give you 'anything convincing as to why' you were and are worthy of love?

[@nauticalnads]

Hi Julia! Shifter here. It really resonated with me when you said that not having self-love can actually be selfish. You're so right. When I am not loving myself, I can feel myself draining my partner with the constant need for reassurance and taking things personally. I just started my journey in your group and already feel weight lifting from me. Really looking forward to going the distance.

[@juliakristinamah]

Hey Shifter! I'm so glad this connected with you. We'll be diving more deeply into how to become more self-loving this fall in The Shift Society - I think you're going to love it.

[@RickBrannam]

I've always been good at telling others they are enough, I need it for me as well. If I don't love me, who can?

[@juliakristinamah]

Big truth right here.

[@simplyjunkie]

I accidentally came accross your videos while I was doing random searches about "Self Worth", when I was feeling very low in life. Your videos are really a gem out there in the ocean of mediocrity. I owe my peace of mind.

[@NenaLavonne]

♥️🙏

[@juliakristinamah]

That means a lot. Thanks brother.

[@LadyofKaraoke]

Hi, I’m Laura. My boyfriend told me to watch you and when I watched this video it really spoke to me as I have struggled with loving myself my whole life. I have always felt not good enough for anything.... I’d like to continue to watch and learn from you... learn ways to love myself and be happy.

[@juliakristinamah]

Welcome Laura - so glad you're here. You've come to the right place.

[@LadyofKaraoke]

Thank you. I have been trying to deal with a lot of stuff lately and it’s just been really hard.

[@themisssuccess9998]

Self love is a big topic for me. So many ppl especially moms completely get lost in literally serving others. They are constantly frustrated and get into that trap of complaints. Meanwhile just like in the plane they say put an oxygen mask on you first before you put it on your child. Its not being selfish but understanding that you need to love yourself first to be able to share that love with others. Take care of yourself ladies 🥰

[@reenasingh-id9zh]

Lol i m in my bed with aching right leg ,taking turns right and left to get some relief .

[@reenasingh-id9zh]

Taking care of ourself puzzles me as i see no escape ,what task to overlook i dont know . But it felt good to get comment on moms because whenever i watch self development videos i cant get how to apply it in moms' case. People say take care of yourself ,take bath ,or get manicure or cook something for yourself but trust me when i get time i just want to lie down and do nothing

[@themisssuccess9998]

@@reenasingh-id9zh at thats the whole point! Do whatever makes you happy! Nobody knows what it is except you😊 if you want to lay down and do nothing - thats fine do it! I'm a mother of 2 with a 3rd on the way and literally last week I had to go to the doctor because of a heavy back pain. I got a stay in bed order and I still kept going until last Sunday when my husband literally forced me to bed moving my office to our bedroom ( thank God for him). The point is I was so blind that I couldn't see my need of rest until my body screamed it! And I'm a business coach and a life coach - I tell ppl to take care of themselves and yet I'm guilty myself. As mothers we juggle 50 different things ( thats why I always say women are the best managers😄) and we completely forget about ourselves, focusing only on being productive. But remember being busy is NOT being productive. You'll be much more productive if you give yourself a rest. You will do more, you will act wiser, your mind will be clearer and you'll be a better mom, wife or an employee/business owner. Its just universal whatever you do in life. We all need a balanced life. Thats the bottom line. Good luck my dear and get some rest this weekend 😘

[@reenasingh-id9zh]

@@themisssuccess9998 thanks a ton for the reply . Take care of yourself and baby too ,good luck and blessings

[@juliakristinamah]

Amen to this!

[@NenaLavonne]

For anyone who needs to hear this today - you are enough, and you are worthy. No matter what. You are deserving of love. What a beautiful video with such an important reminder that sometimes self-love takes effort, but it we put the time and work in to push through our blocks, we can get there. Thank you, Julia!

[@christopherpape4823]

Saying you are worthy of love just because you are isn't very convincing.

[@juliakristinamah]

This is beautiful. Thank you Nena.

[@sidlove5798]

@Nena Lavonne I send my best wishes of love health peace abundance to your stratosphere along with your family.. You are right.. we are enough..have a great weekend

[@susanwheeler-hall]

Julia, you're the real deal. I appreciate the 'gift' you bring to your talks, thank you.

[@juliakristinamah]

Thank you sweet Susan. That means a lot.

[@sidlove5798]

@Susan Wheeler-Hall..best wishes to you and your family..peace love..have a great weekend

[@psychologyis]

Beautiful. Self love is an investment into loving others.

[@juliakristinamah]

it sure is ;-)

[@christopherpape4823]

I've thought about the fact that everyone we encounter only shows the best of themselves, but we see and know all of ourselves, for better or worse. Kinda like what happens with social media.

[@dorothyanntalbert7070]

It makes perfect sense. I am raising 5 grandchildren and the youngest is under 2. I am taking care of my 75 year old mom and a drug addict son that I am trying to help stay off the drugs. I have no time for myself. I stay tired, I get angry easily. I hate my life at times. It's so hard for me most days to sit down for just a few minutes. At this time in my life I feel like my life is not mine!

[@leeclarke8993]

You cannot give from an empty tank. Love yourself without apology. Thank you Julia.

[@madmisskelly]

I can tell when my self worth is suffering because my self worth comes into question over the simplest things- burning dinner, not being able to do art or a craft right, when someone can do something better than me. The hardest is maintaining self-worth and even harder yet is untangling my self-identity from things such as school (I'm in nursing school) and work. My identity and self-worth becomes so entangled with achievement that I can hardly do things that are purely fun- reading fiction books, picking up a skill or hobby that I have no intention to benefit financially from or gain approval/attention from.

[@veronicabruce2078]

So true that if you don't take care of yourself you will take things personally, are more sensitive & bring nothing into relationships. Self judging, others judging, etc. So lovely that you are a counselor that shares her gifts. Thank You

[@juliakristinamah]

Grateful for people like you who are here doing this work and offering your support.

[@GokBenkpln]

“Not loving yourself is way more selfish” wow wow wow wow wow I have never heard as much as liberating and inspiring as that sentence. Evet. You’re way beyond great. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

[@silentgrove7670]

I thought for a long time that all love was on the outside. Due to bad parenting I had not been loved and they withheld love (if they even loved me at all) so love did appear on the outside. It created a skewed perspective of interpersonal connection. It also created scarcity mindset, always left hungry and not feel enough. I understand this more and I understand that our world and sense of self is a subjective experience that I can take ownership of and not leave it on the outside. It is like we all live in our own bubble , a paradigm unto itself. We are each gardeners of our own garden and need to nurture it. The biggest surprise is that most other people cannot see another person's garden much at all. I had thought others could. I have noticed something else on the topic of love. It isn't well understood in society. People are very adverse to receiving love. I love several people in various ways and I do not tell them. It is often too much for someone to accept. I tell other people how amazing and special the other person is though even with that I am careful who I tell as some people find that threatening one person I know even perceives it as a type of manipulation. The society I live in has a strange perception of love. It is probable that everyone understands love at the level of their personal growth and consciousness. I started to understand the latter points after reading "The Mastery of Love" and "Lying with the Heavenly Woman" I thank you for sharing your ideas to help me move forward.

[@estherann7407]

Thanks Silent Grove for your response. Many are "very adverse to receiving love"; I was married to a guy I later realized was a narcissist but, I just couldn't love that man enough. The more I loved him the more he hated it, the more I gave the more he tried to kill my love. We finally went our separate ways. Loving oneself is such a healthy beautiful life because it puts up the necessary boundaries that allows us to be who we truly are. BTW, I just purchased the Mastery of Love the other day♥

[@juliakristinamah]

I'm really glad this helped and that things feel a lot more clear now. Sending you love.

[@silentgrove7670]

@@juliakristinamah You have -- and I have recently joined your shift society. We will likely speak soon.

[@yamimngomezulu8402]

what you said about taking things personally is exactly what's happening to me. Eversince I started watching your videos I realise that I have changed abit....a liiiittle bit. The self love journey is a long one. I've been watching your videos for months and acting out what you talk about is hard sometimes but I love where I am now because I'm definitely not like how I was before I started watching your videos. I've even learnt how to self soothe and it's one of the best things I have learnt so far.

[@juliakristinamah]

Really glad to hear it Yami. Keep it up!

[@vius0013]

Hi, I'm a 31 women from a Latin country and I'm here because I don't know how to set boundaries, I'm not sure when is too far till is late. I'm a giver and most of the time if I love someone I always try to adapt to give support to the other person and prioritizing them. On the other side, I start to be very direct when things go wrong and an endless cycle starts between giving in and demanding... is very exhausted. Seems like I need to love myself more and respect (or have clearer) my needs. Maybe a video on this, how to spot our real needs? thanks for sharing your knowledge!

[@1shlooney]

Wow, You're so right. Thank you for making these videos as someone who's not able to get therapy watching these has been really helpful to me.

[@juliakristinamah]

So good for you for finding a way to do the work. That's HUGE.

[@sharon8276]

Love this! I'd like to add that sometimes loving yourself WILL piss people off. People that like to manipulate and take advantage of your inability to say no. And that's okay. That person's perspective of you doesn't define you. Choosing to love myself first gives me the capacity to serve others without feeling burdened.

[@juliakristinamah]

This is so true. Some people will get it and support it, some won't, and some will come around.

[@borninthefla]

I struggled with this with my Fiancé’. Sadly, our relationship ended as she walked away. Now I’m struggling with moving forward as I keep reflecting on what I could’ve done better.

[@ladbeethoven9]

Thanks Julia, since retiring from my job I feel a loss of self, who I was, insecure. This is what I needed to hear

[@juliakristinamah]

Sending you love Laura.

[@lizforeman9796]

This is me in all accounts, always giving to every one. Over analyzing, take it personally , obsessing about what every one says about me. I'm done with this I'm listening and working on myself every day. I cried when I was listening.

[@keishadennis389]

This is what I got from this amazing video: Loving yourself does not equal narcissism. Taking care of your mental health, your spirit, your well-being FIRST should not impact your relationships and it does NOT make you selfish. Give to yourself FIRST and watch what you can actually give unto others. When you don’t work, NOTHING works. So go ahead and invest in YOURSELF! I subscribed and followed your group on Facebook. Your messages are powerful!

[@artsguru1784]

I’m 64, went into therapy around a year ago and only now coming around to the idea that I’ve had serious self-esteem issues all my life. This has meant I was badly traumatised by a relationship breakup in my mid-twenties, leading to constant mild depression and sadness, with occasional episodes of incapacitating despair. Learning how to love myself seems as likely as learning how to become an Olympic athlete.

[@chania80]

This was powerful Julia. So, so true. I used to find myself judging when people were pampering themselves. I am guilty of what you mentioned, it's only just recently i'm learning to give myself too so I can give to others in a better way. It's part of our conditioning.

[@juliakristinamah]

I love that you are taking care of you now. GOOD for you.

[@Ss-ul1jo]

Yes i experience this all day every day! Its bringing me down. I just want to turn it off and love my self. I want to show up differently.

[@juliakristinamah]

I'm so glad to hear it. It all starts with changing how you think about yourself.

[@naturewitch8687]

Hi I’m Denise and I’m learning to love myself 💖

[@dreamytinge8129]

this woman is a wizard

[@jonwhitney9559]

I've always been myself- refusing to wear a " false face" to please or impress- but conditioning from my impressionable years involved a lot of Negative Reinforcement and Verbal Abuse- so, while I am true to myself- I have never had a great self-image, or sense of security in what I deserve- I'm working on this and these videos have helped me.

[@MrSir00007]

Hi! I do take almost exclusively everything that a person says to me personally. It is so exhausting. This is spot on to me. I really don't love myself at the moment. I'm happy that I can watch your channel and get good information about these things. Looking forward to a future of loving myself :)

[@juliakristinamah]

I see you Robert. Self-love is not always, but you're doing the work, so it will happen.

[@hunterdanielserpebecker5586]

What a great video! I continue to work on my self-love for what I have to say. Last week, I was so frustrated with myself because I felt that I did not do a good job in a class discussion that I wanted to contribute but I had negative thoughts about my expression and my ideas. That is what I must accept and love more about myself because I am good speaker with good ideas. I took it personally because I have believed that I could not speak well in class discussions, meetings, presentations and conferences

[@johnmcfetridge3974]

You put the stop gap here with me finally quitting smoking. Easy for some but I'm all over the place. Its the first minute and your the push. Haven't watched you in a while but really like you. Then bam. I knew smoking is hurting me and struggled with a mindset to just stop. Thank you thank you so much. This crap hurts me so bad because mind and physical work together. So much thanks for your work. Such a beautiful person.

[@kingrockkid]

I sat on this video for a long time, just let it sit there in a tab. I knew it would confirm every thought I had even before I watched it. Self-love is something I was never in my life taught, its been lacking completely to the point it isn't yet existent. For year now so many people I cared and invested time for I no longer talk to, a repeating cycle. The thoughts of me being at fault and that once they got to know me they didn't want to deal with me anymore and along with this, so many self-deprecating thoughts. It has gotten to the point where I can't stand who I am and just shut down. This year taught me more than over two decades ever had, and that is truly sad. I am starting down the road to self-betterment and beginning to realize I have to sacrifice the safety nets I built up in my mind and push forward into unknowns. When I look through the lens this video provides, I can quite clearly see how my relationships with friends and family turned out the way they did. It is my hope that my future children will take the lessons I give them on their journey so they don't end up like me, so they can learn to love themselves and be whole. That's honestly what it is to not love yourself, you aren't a complete you, and never will be until you do. Thank you for the video, I will be rewatching over and over, processing it, and trying to apply what I learn.

[@darrenkendall6834]

Psyche Master! Your good you! -not feeling worth, depression, fatigue. I have been defeated many years. Need to get busy living or get busy dying...shawshank. i know action cures it all. Loved ur 20 things keeping me stuck. Perfection paralysis, waiting to wait..etc. Thank you for your knowledge, self work, energy & enthusiastic non judgement. Xoxo Darren

[@mariaelizabethramos4975]

I’ve been following u for several time now and Im thankful that i did.. u had helped in a way in dealing with my “ healing “ process.. keep it going Julia ...

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks for being here

[@pamiewatkins7354]

That was a revelation beautiful person that loves themselves and the lack thereof it we don't do because we don't love ourselves my goodness what a good teaching looking forward to more

[@ahmedagour8682]

Hey Julia .. I am Ahmed from Egypt ... I do love the material u introduce and the way I say it .. My best regards and deep appreciation

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks Ahmed. I'm really glad it connected.

[@Deesknees2024]

I know I have this the wrong way round and this is why I need to change. Admitting I need to self love has always made me feel that there is no one else to love me. And so I feel even more inadequate.

[@andye454]

I am a 66 year old Disabled Veteran of 32 years of Service in the Army. I was taught others before self from the age of 6. Selfless Service is preached in the Army and I spent decades teaching this concept. I listened to your presentation and what I am hearing is to take care of yourself. Of course proper hygiene, proper eating and trying to get a good night's sleep ( have had Sleep Apnea since 1975 so I don't sleep well) I suffered from an abusive childhood, diagnosed with Dysthymia and later PTSD. I see a mental health professional once a year here in the Philippines and very little time available for discussion only writing prescriptions for medication. Taking care of oneself isn't self love, but merely maintainance. I had to take care of my rifle, my vehicle and clothing, I didn't love my equipment, I maintained it just as I maintain my body. I simply cannot fathom how love has anything to do with it.

[@resstv8307]

Hi I feel you. I also have a severe sleep apnea. Diagnosed at the age of 23 years old. Now I am using a cpap machine and it's been a struggle wearing it. I thought once I have this machine i can now sleep comfortable but it's not.

[@admirbarucija2018]

I swear your videos are always just what I need, and the way you discuss things is super comforting!! I’ve been getting better at self-love and not expecting too much of myself, but it’s a process for sure. I hope this week is treating you well! ❤️

[@juliakristinamah]

I'm so glad to hear it Admir. Good for you for doing the work and showing up so supportively here every week.

[@admirbarucija2018]

Julia Kristina Counselling I appreciate it very much! I’m so glad to be here and have the opportunity to learn a lot while taking the time to work on problems I’m having! ☺️

[@debbiemckenna5]

GREAT point you made about SELF LOVE. How loving yourself is NOT SELFISH but just the opposite is true. By NOT Loving yourself is SELFISH because ALL U R doing is THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF!!!!!! ME ME ME

[@melyndafrazer1962]

I’m a shifter, I do take things personally, I have a lot of work to do on myself still…it helps to come back to this this video to get my head back on straight!! Thanks Julia

[@anasfaiza707]

don't forget to fall in love with yourself first!! thanks julia a lot

[@smartypants1980]

Oh joy, I'm so happy this video came to my Roku youtube app feed thing. I am currently in a position where I'm doing all the thngngs of reading into things and wondering what my friend is thinking and taking it personally that she'll come to the pub to visit her friend but not me who luves right down the block from the pub. My feelings were that if a guy making a face in the beginning, and shouting a Oprah "Yes!" At 4:33am dispite my nieces sleeping on the first floor. Thak you times infinity!

[@Flobam]

Thankyou! I really need this ❤

[@lisag2680]

Just saw your channel. I really needed to see it. Thank you. I suffer with anxiety and depression and have been lost for very long. I also cannot deal with rejection. It shakes my whole world. I think of all my mistakes -latest one, over texting someone who I now realize just doesn’t care - and feel awful, embarrassed and depressed.

[@marymcnamara3706]

Hi Julia, I don't think there is just one thing, everything you said resonated with me, especially the over-sensitivity thing, and slowly that not loving myself is actually the selfish or at least unhelpful thing, and the more I properly love myself, the better person I can be, willing and able to love others. How often we talk about 'unconditional love' and how important that is...when do we ever think about extending that to ourselves? We need to be our own 'best friend' before we can reach out to others. Thank you for this, and for all your videos, I find them so helpful...and encouraging! So many lightbulb moments! PS Thank you for running... for you, me and all of us! 🏃‍♀️🙏😊

[@Politicallyhomeless18]

Your videos have the best comment feed on all of youtube...just a genuine group of people seeking insights on how to improve their lives and their relationships.... Thank you for your videos. It's nice to see the "common humanity" we all encounter

[@sadiaarman363]

Hi. I am Sadia. I have anxiety disorders, depression and some autism spectrum disorders. In fact I had a tough, tough time understanding social cues and communicating. When i entered career stage, the fear turned to phobia, later withdrawal and depression. I love your videos

[@Siventus]

Hi Julia, I've been searching for a solution to my issues and came across your channel. You're doing great job here. My mental part has been destroyed by my parents, whose mentals were destroyed by their parents... Lack of self love is hardwired to my subconsciousness. I've been through professional counseiling and I am still struggling with switching to better. Your videos are very helpful to me. Thank you.

[@juliakristinamah]

Glad you're here Siventus. This is the work and you're doing it. I hope you're taking the time acknowledge yourself for this.

[@jetpilot3714]

Excellent presentation and post on instagram. I have felt that I’ve been emotionally exhausted for a long time now. Just got out of an emotionally abusive marriage two years ago. I don’t think I’ve healed properly. Procrastination putting things off not doing things I should be doing is the worse for me. Thank you for raising my awareness.

[@juliakristinamah]

Glad you're here and committed to doing the work.

[@allisonkanahele9097]

Wow! That just freaked me out because I was just talking about how Taurus is born under planet Venus, the planet of love and it the Taurus' lifetime goal to learn to love themselves. As you say "love of self", not "selfish" love. It is a lifetime goal. One that is not easy to achieve. Thanks for your video.

[@juliakristinamah]

Really glad it connected Allison.

[@susanaoosaki5029]

i'm always taking things personally.

[@smuriel97]

U are AMAZING. What an eye opener for me!! The one thing that connected me to this video is that all this time I thought I loved myself, yet the obsessive and attacking/over thinking behavior that u talk about here is exactly what I’ve been doing in my relationship with my partner. U just made me realize that I am actually NOT loving myself like I thought I was. Although I do blame my partner to some extent for not allowing me to feel secure in our relationship, I still have to work on myself in order to have a ‘healthy’ relationship going forward. Thank u so very much.

[@Off2Marz]

You help me a lot with my emotional intelligence. I really thank you for that. I’m not sure why this isn’t openly taught but im appreciative

[@kathydecicco7480]

Omg Julia a light just switched on. I've always been told you have to love yourself to love others but the explanation of why and the effects of not loving yourself has never been explained to me. Thank you so much!! Love your channel. It's been part if my morning routine.

[@moniquedilella7969]

Hello and happy to meet you. I've been following along for the past few videos and have to say, you are an excellent teacher. Thank you. This video hits square on the nose and I needed that. 💖

[@antoniomontalto96]

Absolute nice your words.... I really love "... the opposite is true!".... so great impact such sentence Julia😍

[@SilentFigure1]

Excellent message!

[@liakiymhighborn8528]

Julia loved the video! And im so proud of you, almost 200k subscribers. Its so great to see how you have grown over the years, In love with your content, keep going and growing 🌹🧚🏻‍♂️❤

[@juliakristinamah]

Thank you Liakiym. That means a lot to me. I appreciate you!

[@nylevesemken]

Cultivating self love. The word cultivate was so much more acceptable to my energy. I noticed it shift from wanting/resistance to willingness. Thank you.

[@dougarnold7955]

Thanks.

[@shaewannapowell2484]

I absolutely love the color of your videos. Also, all of this is so true. So much so, that I feel guilty for taking off of work when I'm sick.

[@kailanewyork7484]

This was a really good one. When you don't love yourself you do think about yourself all the time!

[@apryl.connors5155]

I'm glad I came across your video, I'm having a problem loving myself and lack of self confidence and low self esteem. I will be watching more videos and may help me with this and possibly other things as well. I'm going through a lot right now and having a rough time. Thank you and I just subscribed!

[@tanjaaufdermaur9468]

awesome!!! thank you

[@keithhill2143]

Going to try the shift work. This is the one of my biggest blocks on moving forward. TY

[@juliakristinamah]

So glad you're in Joe. Get ready for your big, deep, shifts.

[@liberty6257]

That was awesome advice Julia! Totally makes sense. Thank you :)

[@tonikline7502]

All I can say is THANK YOU! I found you by searching gaslighting.. I lost count of the # of videos I've watched. Just know that you have helped me so much.. What you talk about definitely makes a difference to people who listen.. Again, thank you so much..

[@d.b.7525]

Thank you.

[@user-tk9wx8bl3s]

I did all that for myself too, until I got messed up with a narcissist. Now since out of that situation. I'm rebuilding! so I can get back to being able to get to that point.

[@MariaSantos-gm7ps]

Thank you”

[@kasey77]

There is a HUGE difference between being selfish and being selfing.

[@bossanovista]

This is important work. It is never too late to start taking the best care of ourselves so we can be kind and even help others. self love and creating privileges for ones self (like exercising) that do not compromise others can build a harmonious community. Thank you for shining a light on this subject. It is one I think of very often especially now.

[@RealtalkwithIhuoma]

I'm here for this💪🏽.

[@juliakristinamah]

I'm so glad!

[@raiderlove5923]

Thank goodness I found you, Julia. This video so describes me.

[@rebekahsquires2073]

Hi I’m Rebekah I’m a survivor of domestic violence and have CPTSD I have been working on recovery for about 6 years.

[@juliakristinamah]

I Rebekah - welcome here. Sending you love and healing.

[@georgiapeach4678]

Good talk! Love your insight!

[@taweya9633]

Love you Julia! Keep running! It’s good for you.... You make it sound as if everyone overanalyzes and has obsessive thoughts. You make it sound like everyone personalizes or magnifies things. You make it sound like that’s normal. It’s really touching how you explain things. You have a logical approach but it hits deeply.

[@triplekids3]

Thank you so much for your information,

[@chelseareid9771]

Just know that you're doing a wonderful job and it's really helping people thank you very much for your platform it's a blessing. Just listening what have you have to say really connected the dots and why I behave a certain way. Everything you said is so true. I don't even know why I was feeling so anxious watching this I guess it's because it really touch every part of what I am currently going through.

[@mohamad-nv7ec]

The main reasons that I'm following your videos are that you don't act like an actress, you don't use anything that artificially attract our attention(always Black and white) , you speak real and natural. That's very important for your words to be believable. ✌️

[@melyndafrazer1962]

I take everything personally and I don’t love myself and have so much work to do! Everything you’ve said is so true of what it means to not love myself 😢… it doesn’t seem to matter what work I do, it doesn’t stick. Sigh 😞 I know the resistance is there.

[@phoenixd9679]

Hi , thank you I needed to hear it again , very well explained, subscribed 💜

[@scottbonnell1453]

Julia this is the second video I've seen; I overthink alot I am slowly and definitely finding my way back to a somewhat normal life. Plus I take things personally which I know I need work on! I thank you for your videos so I can look forward to a better life!!

[@Kay-dn7co]

Thank you soo much for all your videos!

[@tomas9830]

Hi, i’m Tomas from argentina and i am 22 years old! I’ve found your channel like 2 years ago and it’s been really helpful to me, i go to college and i often feel lost on drive back home i think im not okay or good for my career, i honestly i feel like i don’t feel anything “good” about life. I’m jot depressed but i’m not motivated to do anything tbh and being in quarentine made it kinda worst, i’m still working on it you know? Anyways, the first block that you mentioned Julia really got me, i was about to start crying. Thank you for making this video!

[@skyedreams28]

Thank you!!!! Julia-I appreciate your authenticity, charisma, and positivity-very inspiring🦋

[@juliakristinamah]

Thank you J Marie - that means a lot. Glad you're here!

[@Jojo-sb1xs]

Exactly. This is brilliant. Thanku. So much love and appreciation to u ❤

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks Jojo - I always appreciate your encouragement and support.

[@saeedahpirzada6286]

I loved this and also learning to have boundaries does not make me selfish but that is me loving myself! Thanks for your insight 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@juliakristinamah]

Absolutely. I'm really glad both of these connected with you and have created these important shifts.

[@denysetorres5056]

Hello, you! Always enjoy your videos. Lots of great information. Thank you!!

[@christiabacon8001]

My daily therapy!

[@NenaLavonne]

😊

[@chokemebloo]

It's so funny that so many of the videos of yours that I am finding right now are all about the problems that I'm having, so I'm not even having to actively look for them. My partner and I watched 50 First Dates last night, and I balled like a baby. It had been a very long time since I had watched it, so it was pretty much the first time for me to watch it, and my heart honestly hurt. I know for a fact that my partner would do everything that Adam did in the movie for Drew, and I would do the same for him, without a doubt. It's even funnier to me, that you posted this video that morning after we watched it, because after I had finally calmed down, I realized that a lot of the struggles I was having, were simply because I don't love myself enough and didn't have the courage to admit it. I have gotten myself into a few scrapes because of that and have managed to get out, but I may have gotten myself into one not easily resolved, all because I didn't love myself enough. I understand now the steps that could have been avoided and am hoping I can get stuff done, but I do agree, not having enough love for yourself, ruins everything else around you, because you have no energy to actually give back to anyone. It is important that you start taking care of yourself and allowing yourself to be who you are; doing that will give you the freedom you're looking for.

[@Amanda-hu1ct]

Loved this video. Being selfish and pouring into yourself really does lead to giving freely to others without resent or need of outward validation. This video really hit me when you spoke about how selfish being insecure can be. It cut deep, but I needed to hear that perspective. Thank you so much for this video.

[@juliakristinamah]

Sending you love - this work is not always easy or comfortable, but I'm glad you're here for it.

[@SFLady88]

Wow. Awesome video Julia! Xo 😘

[@sashaparks6710]

Thank you so much for these videos! You're a beautiful person, and I'm so grateful for these ❤