Indiana Jones & the Goddaughter from HELL | Movie Review

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny Movie Review
Disney & Kathleen Kennedy have selected Indiana Jones as the next beloved franchise they wish to destroy with a shameless cash grab. Dial of Destiny tarnishes Indiana Jones's legacy and introduces us to Helena, Phoebe Waller-Bridge's insufferable character. Harrison Ford, who shares some of the blame for the damage this movie does to franchise, turns in a great performance but it's not nearly enough to save this movie from being a huge flop. The box office estimates spell doom before the opening weekend is even over and Kathleen Kennedy's job may be in trouble over at LucasFilm. BTW who had time travel to ancient Rome in Indiana Jones 5 on their bingo card?
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0:00 - Intro
2:47 - Recap
8:28 - Review
10:24 - Goddaughter from HELL
12:44 - Legacy
15:29 - Reception
16:17 - Kathleen Kennedy
17:01 - Future
17:26 - Outro
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Musical Credit - World Beyond Pioneers - Destined to Rise

[@rickelmonoggin]

it's not a great sign when the most unpopular character in a film isn't the NAZI villain

[@lordelpus2099]

Hahaha!

[@gkroll8467]

Indy geriatric and the broken back and bitch the commie side kick

[@gkroll8467]

Short gook killed mutt in nam

[@angelito2144]

I need a "H¡tler reacts video" based on this point 😂😂😂

[@Trainwheel_Time]

But... Thats exactly what she is.

[@morninglaughter2469]

When I was 8 years old, I wrote an Indiana Jones story where he went searching for Excalibur. People told me that was silly. Well, now we’ve had aliens and time travel.

[@BDTXIII]

That would be great, another adventure about searching another ancient mythical relic like The Ark and The Grail. Those sorcery elements are the ones that make what Indiana Jones about.

[@dr.charlesedwardflorendobr3952]

That sounds like a good story.

[@afoster1621]

8 yr old more legit than entire current Disney, non shocker

[@svetlanaandrasova6086]

id read it

[@deadpool-xr6dr]

At least, the aliens are a "mythical" specie yet.

[@whattheactualfook976]

Pretty sure Phoebe Waller Bridge didn’t have to stretch her acting abilities very far to play this character.

[@geralddemeulemeester4961]

The question is: does she have acting abilities ?! Not in this movie !

[@SymphonyBrahms]

It's not much of a stretch. Phoebe Wall of Bricks is no Bernhardt.

[@shisho_sos8093]

She doesn't even need to act

[@morzik12345]

honestly, Indiana Jones staying in the Ancient World would have been the most fitting ending for the series

[@emmagrove6491]

One moment that literally made me wince and squirm in my seat was when Indy asks her, "How did you end up like this?", meaning a deplorable excuse for a human being, and she smiles and says, "What, beautiful, smart, independent, resourceful?" Yuck. The movie wants you to like her while making her the most unlikable person on the planet.

[@johnrule1607]

True! It's a very woke, modern feminist retort.

[@pichelen]

I felt her character needed a back story/explanation for us to sympathise with her.

[@TheEvertw]

Disney knows what it is doing. It wants to let people think that "culture wars" are more important than economic policies and personal freedoms when election time comes. But they are not important. Taxation of the ultra-rich, prosecution of rich tax offenders, the right to vote safely and efficiently without intimidation, the right to decide what happens with your body, etc, etc, etc are much more important than a company that decides to bankrupt itself by sh!tting on their customers.

[@realtalunkarku]

she is none of those

[@TheWatchernator]

you actually watch this crap?

[@zohanrock]

Katheleen: I like to see myself in my movies, get me a british brunette. Writer: but the character is an absurdly awful unlikeable character. Katheleen: Perfect.

[@darrenporter1850]

I go further. I bet Katheleen loved her feminist show personally, told them to cast her.

[@wizrom3046]

Who is absolutely Fugly. Another check.

[@berndtherrenvolk1951]

You forgot "homely."

[@wizrom3046]

@@berndtherrenvolk1951 i said fugly.. Or did youtube delete my comment again?

[@ml5955]

Looks like a perfect KK wish fulfillment. Narcissistic, condescending, smug, unlikeable, chauvinistic misandrist with rich white female progressive super entitlement / privilege. Let’s destroy another icon male character because of Agenda. My side mission in life is letting everyone in my sphere of influence know how awful Disney and KK led Lucas Films is, so as they do not spend money on this propaganda.

[@rs5pdx]

Is it crazy to say Helena was a deliberate self insert by KK herself?

[@robertmaybeth3434]

...if you meant to say "Helena" as a deliberate insert of something phallic shaped up the fandoms collective arses, you hit the nail on the head alright

[@s3.14dervision]

It's not crazy, it's spot-on!

[@TheWatchernator]

It couldn't possible have been a movie about an experienced wise old adventurer teaching a young woman how to complete a quest, now would it? He could show her tricks, teach her wisdom, use wit, charm and sophistication, and she could grow to admire such a hidden gem that was hiding in an old near-to-retire professor.

[@schris3]

Well there were small hints that could have happened but ofc KK had to force Mangold's hand and just keep portraying Helena as a know it all that needs to teach old Indy new tricks, but that didn't happened, she was just a balloon blowing gas until she ran out. Gosh, Helena might be more annoying than Willie from Temple of Doom.

[@allegra0]

You are right. That way maybe it would have made for a better screenplay. But no - not to be…we end up with a thoroughly obnoxious female and a sad old man. Shame…the original was fun.

[@ci7210]

Would've been a nice wholesome movie. And a nice send off. They wanna pass the touch. Why not show Indy doing that wisdom, instead of Helena taking thr torch beating him with it and burning his legacy, all while being an arrogant bitch.

[@Biodelic]

Phoebe Waller-Bridge didn't act for one second. She was just simply being herself.

[@maxmazzotti6651]

She’s nothing but an insane 3rd wave feminist who should be blacklisted from the industry.

[@darthdmun]

a stuck up her own ass, never wrong, i want all my stuff for free NOW! is that her?

[@gordonthomson7533]

Indeed. She's a poisonous person.

[@76Superdude]

Hmmm showing 3 replies but none showing….KZbin police strike again. You losers!! PWB is a travesty of a co star in this film,she’s shockingly un likeable

[@Aaron-om6fm]

Damn right, I hate her guts

[@azzburgersaf1973]

I've seen Critical Drinker's review and he made a great point that Helena isn't just unlikeable, the writers also smashed multiple character types into her. She's a geeky awkward bookworm, a minute later she's a seductive Femme Fatale, the next she's a goofball loveable Comic Relief, and all of a sudden she's cold, cynical, money hungry, and is so ruthless she left good guy Indy to die. The actress has no skill and range to perform all this and to top it all off, she is always right and never loses an argument. I find the most ridiculous that she can somehow charm and seduce men when she was acting like a Femme Fatale when she looks like a flat chested giraffe that got its face burned.

[@kathleenhensley5951]

Sounds like a garbage human being.

[@powerbite92]

Replies getting shadow-banned already :)

[@mikerosoft1009]

That's not true, she tells Indy that the gum won't fix the tuk-tuk engine, she was wrong it did work. +1 for Indys gum.

[@xenomorpheus7376]

I wonder if her middle name is Mary Sue?

[@hv3115]

Plus, she isn't even hot. She has the face of an English pudding and the body and awkward gait of a giraffe.

[@theguybehindyou4762]

This is the type of character Kathleen idealizes. The fact that she and Helena look similar is also noteworthy…

[@bl8388]

The Crystal Skulls crew gets to say," Ours wasn't the worst film in the franchise, anymore."

[@greggreg9255]

Kathleen Kennedy won’t be fired, she’s doing EXACTLY what they told her to do- kill off as many FAMILY friendly franchises as possible.

[@NUKESDONTEXIST]

I've said this so many times! They know exactly what they're doing and they won't stop. It's not an accident

[@TheEvertw]

Disney is being paid to stoke the culture wars. All to take people's attention away from what is really happening in the world: the ultra-rich undermining democracy.

[@unnamed5603]

@@NUKESDONTEXIST but WHY, what is the endgoal?

[@simonescelsa]

​@@unnamed5603cancelling everything good about the past so that they can create the future they want.

[@Bhavyo]

@@unnamed5603 Social engineering. Re-programming of people. Hollywood is just a small piece from that big puzzle. Your question is quite big and you dont get any benefit from a youtube response that goes into detail. If you are really interested you really have to dig deep. If you think there was something wrong with 2020 and the big C you are right on track.

[@Vespyr_]

I'm still wrapping my head around Helena punching an 80 year old man in the face, so hard that he is unconscious for the entire trip back through time, and dropped off in bed where he wakes up in his home. That's just insane to me.

[@Wayoutthere]

Indy was not even granted his wish to stay there, that to was robbed from him by that bitch,

[@HoneyTone-TheSearchContinues]

The Indiana Jones character is written to be 70 years old in 1969. Keep in mind, Indy and the actor playing him are different ages. But, having said that: yeah, Hollywood is just ridiculous about the physical abilities and stamina of old folks. Punching a 70 year old man in the head so hard it leaves him unconscious for hours is likely to do significant brain damage, not to mention to the neck and face, and probably also to the skull from falling. Recovery, if it happened, would take days, maybe weeks. The Expendables movie franchise is the worst offender. Characters in their late 50s(?) supposedly deploying on combat missions for days and weeks at a time and engaging in battles and fist fights like 30 year old special forces ops? And then going out drinking? Yeah, right. Hey, bartender, can I have a glass of water so I can take my meds? And turn down the music - it’s way too loud. 😂

[@whos-the-stiff]

She also seems to have patched up his gunshot wound. She's a top surgeon too.

[@mackenziecumming9107]

@@HoneyTone-TheSearchContinuesI hate to break it to you, but action movies like the expendables don’t exactly aim to portray themselves to be accurate to real life.

[@daveroche6522]

Anyone else notice in some shots her head actually IS too big for her hair? Reminds me of the puppets in (the still awesome) Team America ("F^^K YEAH") - the difference being each and every one of them had character and personality (even sometimes being "so wronewree"). Just observin'.

[@thewolfpack7718]

"My friend was just murdered". - me hearing how they killed Indiana Jones.

[@donaldlind523]

Wouldn't surprise me if in one draft of the script, in the scene where Indy bears his soul about Mutt, once he finished his speech, the scene cuts to Helena who was either not listening or had fallen asleep.

[@RobinJohnstonphotography]

Pat Roach couldn’t knock Indiana Jones unconscious. But his skinny goddaughter can?! Seriously?!

[@chriswilkinson7636]

😂😂😂😂

[@thekitowl]

I miss Bomber.

[@chriswilkinson7636]

@@thekitowl He was in all of the original trilogy wasn't he? Actually in Raiders he played two parts I believe.

[@thekitowl]

@@chriswilkinson7636 think so, he used to train stunt men as well.

[@Treblaine]

They can't make female characters strong so they contrive weakness all around them.

[@matane2465]

Phoebe Waller Bridge is 37 years old. Dial of Destiny is set in 1969. Ergo Helena should have been born in 1932. She should have been 12 by the opening in 1944. Her father, Basil, apparently died in 1951 when she would have been 19, an adult. Why the hell would Indy have needed to be a father to a 19 year old adult?

[@iwatchthings777]

You've put more thought into it than probably all the makers of the movie lol

[@SammEater]

No one in current Hollywood can write a script that makes sense if their lives depended on it.

[@betterthantheavgbare]

It’s a Hollywood movie you fucking ponce. Ergo who gives a shit what the age of the actor is compared to the film age. Jee-suz!

[@HoneyTone-TheSearchContinues]

The age of the actor playing a character is not relevant (within limits, of course). The Helena Shaw character is written to have been 12 in 1951, and 30 in 1969.

[@susivarga7303]

What does her age have to do with the character's age? Don't you ever watch a teen movie populated by 25y olds, your head will be spinning.

[@datboi7160]

Helena also left Indie to die three times in the film. 1 She locked the door on him while nazis were shooting at him. 2 She drove off in a car and left Indie to die from gangsters attacking them. 3 She left indie to drown while Ellis were attacking him. Only to go back when he fired a flared gun

[@BookshelfQBattler]

Mutt (Shia Lebeuf) wasn't that likeable a sidekick in Crystal Skull either, but it was somewhat believable because he is jaded having grown up without his biological father Indy. I haven't seen this one yet but my question is did they give any reason why Phoebe's character is such a jerk or did they just have her be a jerk? I know a lot of people have problems with Temple of Doom but I liked it and honestly, Short Round was Indy's most loyal sidekick. Maybe Ke Huy Quan's recent career resurgence could give us a sixth movie where Indy works with a sidekick who actually respects him. Last Crusade really was a rare third installment that ended a trilogy well and Lucasfilm should have stopped there.

[@freddykrueger1162]

Well the main role of a god parent is to take in an orphan and they swear before God to do just that. She was orphaned, but Indy was too busy wallowing in the death of his own son to have seen her for 18 yrs since she was 12. It isn't clear her age when she was orphaned but her character is 30 and has been fending for herself since her dad died by selling artefacts to the highest bidder. She is presented as materialistic but she has adopted a street kid and has gambling debts.

[@BookshelfQBattler]

@@freddykrueger1162 i mean she's at least 35 and if it's 1969 and Mutt died in Vietnam then his death was fairly recent soooo I dont know how much you can blame indy really a 35 year old should be fending for herself at that point

[@LoganInThailand]

Imagine having to live with the knowledge that you're so unlikeable that characters based on your personality destroyed 2 of the most iconic franchises in human history.

[@lordelpus2099]

The dial of Diarrhoea.

[@FORTEtheSECOND]

*Lara Croft is next.* Nothing will be accomplished unless the normie sheeple decide to budlight the ones responsible into oblivion.

[@superfinevids]

What was the other one?

[@VOiDED50120]

​@@superfinevidsStar Wars

[@superfinevids]

@@VOiDED50120 oh duh, I miss read your message. Yeah how the fuck does someone fail so hard.... And still have a job.

[@MrWebweaver]

I’m old enough to have seen Raiders of the Lost Ark at a drive in theatre at 8 years old. Indy was a hero for us growing up. Luckily there are still only 3 Indy films, he literally rode off into the sunset in my favourite Indy movie. How is it possible to make a character so awful that if you cheered for the Nazis you would be justified in doing so. It doesn’t matter if KK is fired at this point, she has accomplished her goal, she butchered Star Wars and Indy. This movie should been Indy in a bar and some former students run into him and ask him about an adventure he never told anyone about. Indy starts the story and like Last Crusade old Indy looks up and a younger actor is playing Indy, let’s say Chris Pratt. This younger version goes on an adventure in late 30s. That way Garrison is included and you get a great new adventure. F Disney, I’m glad this bombed, and I’m never watching it.

[@hv3115]

That sounds like the The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles. The bottom line is nobody wants to see a 80 year old Indiana Jones. That's not appealing in any way.

[@ArtistFormerlyKnownAsShitlord]

@@hv3115 I don't think that Indy's age is the primary problem. The insufferable Mary Sue parasite is the problem.

[@eveapple4928]

Well perhaps someone better will make a reboot to that effect - like they did with Spider-Man.

[@minkles1330]

I remember hiding under a bunch of blankets in the back of my dad's Ford VB station wagon so we could watch Star Wars...... I was like 5 and fell asleep in like an hour haha.

[@rach5516]

Chris Platt would also be my choice, he would be perfectly cast to take over from Harrison.

[@EricHamm]

After watching this review, I am confident that The Last Jedi was not just Rian's fault, but more Kathleen's. The sad thing is that Disney makes so much money it is easier to keep her around than replace her with someone who actually cares about the art of making movies.

[@jamiebraswell5520]

Fans are to blame because they kept on showering Kathleen Kennedy with more and more money, never able to walk away. After Star Wars was so utterly destroyed two times already, fans gifted Kathleen with huge monetary success with the dumpster fire The Rise of Skywalker. Why should Kathleen care when fans kept on coming back with money in hand? It NEVER should have taken this long for people to turn away. The only thing from Disney I spent money on was Rogue One, and in retrospect I wish I wouldn't have done that.

[@jamiebraswell5520]

Just remember that Rian Johnson made things way worse by how he acted with fans on Twitter. I think that he and Kathleen were equal partners in how to ruin Star Wars. She even wanted to gift him with his own trilogy, remember? Whatever happened to that?😅

[@caligulapontifex5759]

I mean couldn’t Harrison Ford see what was happening during the filming? Didn’t he see what they were doing to this beloved character beyond his paycheque? He could’ve stepped in anytime during the process and say I’m not having it. He has has the clout and changes would have happened. Sad to say, but he’s as much to blame for this as Kathleen Kennedy.

[@MrTimeless101]

Ford is a Hollywood guy, he's a liberal. Trust me, he doesn't have a problem with any of it. their all team players for whatever agenda is being pushed.

[@JScottHamilton]

That seen when he gives her a look of "How could you kill my friends?" was more a look of "How could you kill my legacy?"

[@1three7]

Lol that scene of Indy saying "my friend was just murdered!" Seems like Harrison Ford just adlibed it because the script ignored it.

[@994pt4]

I had the same thought.

[@martaygarcia7444]

I hate that she says sorry but showing very little regret, with the tone you use when you step on someone's foot, and then forgets

[@user-kx2es7pi9m]

Not going to see it, ever. I am 64 years old. I saw Star Wars A New Hope in the theater. When Raiders came out in 1981 I kept going back to the theater probably five or six times. What a fantastic movie. I am saddened at what they have done to Indiana Jones. I won't even watch this last edition when it's free.

[@viewtifuljoe4412]

I am in my mid 30’s and I agree 100 percent with you. Many of us do.

[@wallacetuguru6692]

Same here sir. It is an abomination

[@danielpitti6030]

tarios 224 Agrega un comentario… I remember as a kid in my grandparents' countryside home exploring around with my satchel, a rope on my shoulder, and a big stetson hat larger than my head, looking after lost pre columbian temples, and hidden treasures...That's my level of fondness for tthe Indiana Jones character! The first three movies are Awesome pieces of entertainment, being "Raiders of the Lost Ark" the crown jewel of modern action Adventure cinema ... Adventure! That's truly a word that inherently has some mysthicism, at least That's what I got From Fiction, From media, enjoying the Indy series, as well the 80s Tales of The Gold Monkey, Big Trouble in Little China , or yes, even The Mummy (1999), because wether the NPC like it or not The Gen X loved such "scoundrels" like Indy , Jack Burton, or Rick O'Connel por their "corsair" spirit , but mostly, for The fun they gave us, FUN, a word sadly dismissed by the "Woke" ( Bolshevik ) crowd ...That's why I will ignore Indy 5 and its truly possible postmodernist deconstruction (destruction!) of a character, but mostly so, the swashbuckling Adventure cinema which I grew up. And we complained for Kingdom of The Crystal Skull! ... Never thought it was "bad" , just the weakest of the series.

[@4dstellatedhypercube558]

I just watched the first half hour online and it was definitely meh right off the bat

[@markjones8958]

Yep, I’m 60 and totally agree with you.

[@EliteRock]

The Helena character was probably meant to emulate the many male 'antiheroes' in film over the years - men who are vaguely devious and even treacherous, fight dirty, can't resist being sarcastic even if gets them punched in the face, etc' but in the end are revealed as "basically good people". The problem is that this kind of character is _extremely_ difficult to write (and act), and doubly so for a woman as it involves traits that are frankly about as unfeminine as you can get - it's very easy to end up with nothing but an irritating or downright hateful a-hole, and the writers and actor in this case clearly weren't remotely good enough to pull it off. Apart from that, note how conspicuously plain and unglamorous Waller-Bridge is - I'm quite sure she was cast because the idea is that she'll be 'relatable' to "ordinary girls and women" (as she undoubtedly is to the even plainer Kathleen Kennedy, who it's been suggested has developed a penchant for 'inserting herself' into movies she's directly involved with).

[@JScottHamilton]

Hehe, so the audience of both genders is supposed to relate to a leading woman who is neither completely heroic, completely anti-heroic, and doesn't have a backstory arc to even reconcile the two possibly in the same person? No character growth from hero to anti-hero or vice versa? No potion to explain why she is sometimes Jekyll and sometimes Hyde? And no grain of vulnerability, fatal flaw, or tragic emotional past to explain why she can be as douche-y as some male lead? To be honest, I've never gotten to know a woman who could identify with such a character who was not herself a narcissist or a sociopath. *cough* KK *cough*

[@mariahbrown2167]

Did no one notice the "female lead" is not female? No effort to hide the Adam's apple except at the beginning. Then it was transgender time all the way to distressing end.

[@jamiebraswell5520]

Simply the problem with these feminists who think they can do everything that a man can. They forget to just be themselves because they are too busy trying to prove to the world that they can be men too!😅

[@joshua42777]

So when he showed Ms Tuesday (Helena) laughing and indy emotes "My friend was Just Murdered" "Sorry " Tuesday's pathetic response, that told me everything I'm not watching this movie it doesn't exist.

[@mike91mdk45]

Sometimes you just know from the first trailer how bad a character may be. This was one of those times.

[@brandonscott5544]

GREAT HATEWATCHERS VIDEO INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY FLOPPY DISNEY'S DISASTER INDIANA JONES Legacy

[@CardiffOneOne]

In other words, you made up your mind without seeing the film. Pathetic.

[@CardiffOneOne]

​Loser

[@o-b-1]

I know It's called Capitalism

[@Darkstar_Dayne]

​@@o-b-1It's like she never went to school, how do you not know what capitalism means 😂😂

[@edmundcharles5278]

Sounds like a lot of Indy fans will simply ‘Bud Light’ this movie!

[@florinelenaradamilea]

Butt light this movie.

[@tskinner01oh17]

I wrote off Indiana Jones when Shia Lebuf was swinging through the jungle with monkeys like he was in the jungle hunt video game. Indiana Jones ended with the last crusade.

[@one7decimal2eight]

The fact that she has a hyphenated last name tells you everything you need to know.

[@lynnbarsby7356]

😅

[@LostOneOmega]

They discarded and killed Mutt just to make sure the franchise would be stuck with Fleabag. Same as they did with Luke and Han in Star Wars. Basically guaranteeing that older fans would have nothing to hold on to if someone else takes control from KK.

[@robl9141]

Add John Connor to the list.

[@TheSuperappelflap]

the fun part about introducing time travel is that someone could just go back and change all that...

[@TrueGamer22887]

We arnt doing revisionist history like anyone liked mutt are we?

[@TheSuperappelflap]

@@TrueGamer22887 trueeee

[@TrueGamer22887]

@@TheSuperappelflap that’s not even to mention how they probably just couldn’t get Shia

[@baccy81]

How cool would it be if the ending of this movie was Indy walking away with Archimedes and disappear into the depths of history like one if the relics he'd been hunting for. What a glorious end for his character

[@JScottHamilton]

Did anybody remember how Sean Connery's character of Indy's father in Last Crusade was a charming grandfatherly figure, not at all curmudgeonly? Now granted, Sean was in his late 50s when that movie was shot, but there is no reason why the writers couldn't have written Indiana Jones in Dial of Destiny as a knock off of his father, just older. They could have had Helena play catch up following clues on an archaeological adventure until she finally catches up with Indy. They could have even had Indy mentor the Helena character while taking a back seat like Indy's father did with Indy. It would have been a terrific homage to Last Crusade, while making it Indy's Last Adventure with a graceful exit. Then we might care of enough for Helena to carry on Indy's legacy, while appealing to the core audience's nostalgia for the character. Instead we get this feminist, Post Modern, critical theoretic trope that makes us dislike the whole setup as much as nihilists dislike life itself.

[@ThePrimeMinisterOfTheBlock]

There was never any possibility of my spending money to see this movie. I learned the lesson years ago. Movies these days really target audiences with massive chips on their shoulders.

[@marknewton6984]

I hate movies today. Take me back.

[@Visual_Writer]

Old Indiana Jones would have a castle full of treasures, protected by cool traps. This movie is just another expression of KKs hatred towards men.

[@TaoScribble]

The defense I keep seeing for all these irritating, insufferable new female mains is that "not all characters have to be likeable". The problem is that these are usually supposed to be _heroes,_ and even beyond that, your main character shouldn't be *repulsive.*

[@StimParavane]

And part of the hero's journey is to be transformed from being spoilt and immature. Not to revel it.

[@pianoman9421]

The natural response to that is "not all movies have to be watched." Disney continues to find this out the hard way. Glad there are enough honest reviewers out there that longtime fans of Indy know to steer clear.

[@TheSuperappelflap]

charactera dont have to be likable, but if they arent, they at least have to be interesting. disney produces female leads that are unlikable and uninteresting. no antiheroes or flawed people, just boring bitches.

[@Redfield70]

Cersei Lannister is more likeable than Helena. Think about that.

[@ThePrimeMinisterOfTheBlock]

I don't know. It's possible to write a charmingly insufferable, unlikeable character. Anti heroes are things

[@EVGriffinJr]

I’m glad you said that by the way! Luke Skywalker’s destruction in the last Jedi is still the worst I’ve ever seen! Indiana Jones in this film isn’t as bad, but it’s still pretty awful! Even Kingdom of the Crystal skull treated him more respect than this!

[@Mazra42]

In one of the earlier scenes in the movie, Helena locks Indy--her godfather--behind a chain link gate, trapping him with the henchmen who are trying to murder them. She doesn't know he can escape. She left him there to die. And I'm supposed to like her? This is before she goes on a rant about him not being a good godfather, by the way. I thought she was the villain up until I realized she was Kathleen's strong woman self-insert, and just like with Rey, I did not enjoy it.

[@miketan4803]

Not giving money to Disney just to see how bad they screwed up. #MyWalletMyChoice

[@realtalunkarku]

disny stop trying to get at my ass wallet

[@Orcl1100]

Need a strong female character? That was Karen Allen’s Marion.

[@KreatedbyKrause]

I think Marion is the reason why I could never accept the Marion-less sequels.

[@Orcl1100]

I always felt bad for Kate Capshaw. As good as she was. Clearly having fun with the character of Willie Scott. She was attacked by feminists groups. For not being Marion.

[@kaykutcher2103]

I love Willie Scott screeches and all. Her and Shortround made such a great pair of sidekicks, he was what we all fantasized we'd be like on an adventure with Indy while she was our reality check. Out of her element and scared shirtless. She grew as a character quite a bit by the final act getting the cart, punching a bloke, pulling Shortround to safety, and going with the flow on the bridge. Appalled? Sure, but willing to contribute on a whim.

[@gigicalcio]

Putting down the iconic male character doesn’t make a strong female character, not even close.

[@Hiraghm]

by the modern definition. yes. At the time she was unique. Unfortunately she led to decades-worth of "strong female characters" What's a "strong female character"? a _masculinized_ character, that's all. If you want to see strong _female_ characters, watch Gone with the Wind. Or The African Queen. Or a personal favorite, "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon". _That_ movie had a strong female character (the colonel's wife, Abby Allshard). I'm puke-sick of hearing "strong female character" when it's not female at all except in body parts.

[@nrgspike]

Yeah, you kinda nailed it. I watched it out of morbid curiosity the other day but even then I was still shocked by how viscerally I detested Helena! So much so that I felt like I had to have a go at re-editing it, mainly just to see if there was something there that could be saved. Ultimately I ended up removing a little over 20mins of footage that covered the majority of my issues with the film, so now... Voller is no longer fatally knocked off the train; Indy isn't introduced as a shambolic, barely functioning alcoholic; Many of Helena's worst excesses in personality, particularly in the first half are reduced or removed entirely. Teddy's kleptomania is mostly mitigated and he doesn't clearly murder the big bodyguard. Also since Crystal Skull obviously didn't happen, no need for any reference to Mutt or him being married to Marion; And most of the chase sequences are drastically reduced in length; It's still not a good film, but maybe now a 5/10 instead of a 3/10. I'll probably never watch even my own cut again, but I think at least it helped to exorcize the demons!

[@theanimationcritictaylorri1264]

But at least KOTCS paid their RESPECTS to the character also there were ideas that could’ve worked.

[@Leopardo_Bianco]

People use go to theatres to see physically attractive and charismatic leads. It's the proven formula that banks a large chunk of the box office even when the acting or plot is subpar. It's the escapism to experience someone far from the repetitive Monday to Friday real world. It's clearly obvious that the ultra-sensitive keyboard warriors hating themselves for not being born instant oil-paintings to Barbie parents, have made so much noise that Hollywood kneeled in offering them this Helena character, a mirror to who this very, very small, yet extremely loud part of the audience is bent in being.

[@JScottHamilton]

Steve Buscemi. Not easy on the eyes, but I'll watch him in almost anything. Magda Szubanski, who played in Babe and an episode of Farscape (her character there was unlikeable but in a good way), is a comedienne with terrific work. More on the plain jane side I also enjoy Sigourney Weaver and Linda Hamilton. I can't identify with attractive leading roles (almost a distraction), but I can identify with a memorable face who is on the hero's path.

[@ComeJesusChrist]

That broad-shouldered, straight-backed person with the slight Adam’s apple ruins everything.

[@TheSuperPsychoKiller]

The artifact is literally a Time Machine that Indy could have used to save his son and his marriage and his dead friend.

[@hv3115]

Not really. It isnt really a time machine..it only allows you to go back to one time, ie., the battle during Ancient Rome.

[@superpotato2387]

@@hv3115 It could have served the purpose SuperPsycho suggested however. Would have been maybe an alternate route they could've taken

[@ronaldoago-go5907]

@@hv3115 why would you not consider it a time machine? What else would it be called?

[@s3.14dervision]

PWB makes Willy seem a lot less annoying!

[@robinmaloney1069]

As an archeologist I enjoyed the overall story and totally understood Indy’s desire to stay in Sicily. On the flip side I didn’t care for all the chase scenes, violence and loudness. There were two many loose ends such as why the US gov’t was trying to get the dial and working with that odious Nazi physicist to do so. The narrator makes an excellent point that said physicist should at least have a scar after that incident on the train 20-odd years before. I also agree with the narrator’s assessment of Helena’s character. She was not an asset to the film whatsoever.

[@johnhaladay5541]

1. The plots of Indiana Jones movies are always fantastic, but at least they're interesting. The "plot" of this film was as boring as it was pointless. 2. The character played by Phoebe Waller Whatever was one of the most ANNOYING characters in film history. In addition to being the ultimate Mary Sue who - in one chase scene - extols her perfection, she's obnoxious, arrogant, uninteresting, smarmy, nasty, and repulsive. She embodies Kathleen Kennedy's contempt for traditional male heroes. 3. This movie was NOT about Indiana Jones. It was about his sidekicks. You could substituted Seth Rogan in Ford's place, and it wouldn't have made any difference.

[@stevehall4771]

It's sad when a studio, like Disney, thinks (and assumes) that they know what the audience wants. But then ignores feedback from the very people they expect to buy their product. I would agree that the trend began with the last 3 Star Wars films: emasculate male characters, chuck them aside, and then insert a strong female lead. The problem with this formula is that it backfired spectacularly. They gave us two characters (Rey and Helena) that are....meh. The former being uninteresting, and the latter being unlikable. And this is what Disney wants to carry on those franchises? As someone who saw the original Star Wars as a kid, i don't want or care to see a washed up Luke Skywalker. Same with Indiana Jones. Disney did both characters a tremendous disservice and it shows in their final products. But what really makes me mad is that Disney camp is directly blaming fans (such as myself) for the dismal reviews, and refusing to buy their crappy product. I am reminded of the brilliant South Park episode - "The Ring." This sums up everything you need to know about "Disney."

[@RealButcher]

"Under the sea" 😂❤ LOL

[@TheEvertw]

Disney knows exactly what the audience wants, but they are being paid to stoke the culture wars by their ultra-rich owners (Blackrock etc). Because they want to undermine democracy, and culture wars take people's attention away from what they are doing. Defunding the IRS, filling SCOTUS with their cronies, etc. The culture wars are a smoke screen.

[@richc2109]

You put more rational thought into your comment than Disney put into this entire film.

[@andrewpellman6605]

There's a silver lining here you don't see. This means you can bear witness to a titan crumble and fall. Every fuck up that loses money, is another nail in Disney's coffin. I'll be celebrating as carrion feast on Disney's ruined corpse. Disney is just the first though. Talk with your wallet, don't give any of those bloated studio scum a cent and watch Hollywood fall apart.

[@jamiebraswell5520]

Don't forget Disney's ruination of Willow.

[@tashrif46]

I dont want Phoebe Waller Bridge anywhere near the next James Bond. As a writer for No Time To Die, she made Daniel Craig's James Bond almost a second fiddle to Nomi who was insufferable. Now with a new actor, if she directs, she would make James Bond a secondary character in his own movie.

[@MWH12085]

Apparently, the character of Helena was created upon request to be written for Flea bag. So of course she played it well, she's basically playing herself

[@rahkuaschount]

The purpose of killing Indy's son is to demoralize the audience. It's not an accident or coincidence that these movies deconstruct and destroy our favorite heroes and their legacies - it's their entire reason for being.

[@josephsalmonte4995]

Correct. & So few people see it. "We will push our message at ANY cost"- Disney

[@HoneyTone-TheSearchContinues]

How does Indiana losing his son “demoralize” the audience? The character feels the pain, and the audience is probably empathetic toward him, but this is just life. Who lives to be 70 years old but never experiences the loss of close family? Trust me, when you get to that age there will likely be more funerals than weddings in your life.

[@georgestauber2636]

Its all about destroying the olds. Old Ideas, Old Culture, Old Customs, and Old Habits

[@CCovers1]

@@georgestauber2636 Bullsh*t nonsense from pseudo-academic BPS. Habits is a synonym for customs, and all of these could fit into culture. Stop watching his stuff for your own sake.

[@franceslynch2615]

Yes, the same reasoning is behind the removal of statues, changing of street names. The goal is to leave the conquered nation with no history, no role models, no heroes, no hopes, no dreams.. This is standard Communist doctrine, and we are in the mist of their take down of the US.

[@rateyesmertz3785]

Indiana Jones and his goddaughter meeting Archemedes is like Bill and Ted meeting So-krates.

[@sonykroket]

Nooo waaay...

[@mem1701movies]

I didn’t see it but did he speak ENGLISH?

[@kaykutcher2103]

​@@mem1701moviesOh please someone confirm this. I'm laughing myself silly imagining him with a Jersey accent.

[@razor6552]

​@@sonykroket😂

[@razor6552]

Bogus!

[@RavenclawFtW3295]

Disney has been literally destroying all the characters we love. Luke Skywalker: Vanished. Han Solo: Murdered. Indiana Jones: Turned into a loser.

[@gnarlin4964]

I'm convinced that some Disney executives have a massive long-game stock short scheme and that's why they tell Kathleen Kennedy to do anything and everything she wants.

[@dynamicdave2647]

Your criticism and negativity are totally on point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything kathleen kennedy touches dies.

[@sjdrifter72]

It's called the Reverse Midas Touch. Instead of turning to gold, it turns to shit, which is the only thing Kathleen Kennedy and Disney are masters in doing.

[@dronesclubhighjinks]

Harrison Ford plays the father of Kylo, who kills him. And he's the godfather of Helena who virtually attempted to kill him a few times. The movie sounds less bad than I expected in terms of plot, but Helena is worse than I expected. Who thought it was a good idea to have her physically punch an 80 year old man in the face? Is that what "strong women" are supposed to do? Especially after locking him in a room with the Nazis, while she steals something from him and runs away. Was there another scene where she tries to get him killed? What a horrible, horrible person. HELLena obviously is the perfect name for her. She is an excellent villain, but the fact that somebody thought she's a hero is mind-boggling. I need to know who wrote this movie, so I can avoid everything else that person has ever written. Thank you for the video!

[@metronome8471]

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny is a 2023 American action adventure film directed by James Mangold, and co-written by Mangold, Jez Butterworth, John-Henry Butterworth, and David Koepp. Wikipedia.

[@DrCheeks]

There’s a movie with Rosalind Pike called “I care a lot”. In it she is a sociopath who steals the life savings of the elderly while isolating them from their families. When confronted by an understandably irate (male) family member of a victim, she calls him out on his sexism, cos apparently if she were male and committed these heinous acts, it would all be fine Like Dial of Destiny she is a reprehensible villain who is for some reason portrayed as a hero. I just don’t understand the disconnect in writers rooms these days

[@HoneyTone-TheSearchContinues]

@@DrCheeks These days? The entertainment industry has been serving up unlikeable, immature, incompetent and mendacious leading characters for at least 30 years, maybe 40. Somehow we’re supposed to excuse them because they have a heart of gold, or they mean well, or some other such tripe. Most Adam Sandler movies, for instance, or just about any of the SNL alums really. The bad grandpa/Santa/take your choice movies. Why should adventure flicks be exempt?

[@ThePrimeMinisterOfTheBlock]

@@HoneyTone-TheSearchContinues yours was a wasted life. You bring dishonour to your family.

[@dronesclubhighjinks]

@@metronome8471 thank you! A shocking lack of diversity, Disney Lucasfilm. 😂

[@andykaufman7620]

The biggest loss of this movie is Indy, who is in the 1960s should have met Forest Gump on that Subway train. "That's all I'll say about that" says Forest Gump describing his meeting the world famous Indian Jones. My momma said "Adventures are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get'. The person sitting next to Forrest says "but what if you just look on the inside of the box of chocolates that tells you what each piece is? We then a Feather wave past Indiana and Forest, and then past the other people on the subway car, oh and Lt Dan is there too as his I hate the world self after the war. He says to Indy "yeah the world can beat you down can't it,'.

[@rach5516]

At least it is highly unlikely Pheobe is unlikely to be carrying on the mantle from Harrison if her character is that unlikeable.

[@michal5058]

Phoebe Waller-Bridge is true supervillain. I can only imagine how much Kathleen Kennedy wanted her in this movie after she murdered James Bond. Who can be better at destroying another beloved hero? Disgusting and heartbreaking to see my childhood heroes go down one by one by these soulless creatures.

[@harryg2453]

If she turned out to be the villian it would have been a much better film

[@TheSuperappelflap]

these movies arent canon. it didnt happen. they dont exist.

[@jonfreeman9682]

Well KK plan was to have her be the Mary Sue Rey to kick butt and save Indy's arse and then in future sequels wear the fedora and crack the bullwhip. Ford can't play Indy forever and surprised he agreed to comeback for another round.

[@RenlangRen]

The movie makes much more sense when you realize that she is the villain.

[@hugolehtonen2836]

Next Bond Will Be a woman

[@rodimus580]

Stop paying money to people who hate you and your heroes.

[@mhlkta8516]

All those big burly men with all kinds of weapons at their disposal couldn’t catch a doddering 80 year old, a skinny wildly uncoordinated woman, and an 8 year old boy! SERIOUSLY?!

[@carterkent4424]

They keep trying to make Phoebe Waller-Bridge "a thing". Phoebe Waller-Bridge ISN'T "a thing", and she's never going to BE "a thing". This is the woman who said punching a senior citizen is "funny".

[@Buford_T_Justice1]

Phoebe Waller Bridge walks into a bar. The bartender says “Hey, why the long face?” Badum tsss!

[@ed008ue]

I read that the original ending had Indy dying but having a vision of Henry Jones (Dad) asking him to accompany him to a bi-plane and flying to the sunset, with the credits rolling. it was partially shot and the actor portraying Henry Sr. was going to be deepfaked as Sean Connery. I would have loved this ending, this would have been a much more moving ending to the movie. but KK actually denied this ending.

[@jamiebraswell5520]

That sounds laughable.

[@SuperFitzieZX]

Problem with that ending is Helena would still replace him and she doesn’t deserve it in the slightest.

[@lifeneedsmorechill]

I was downloading this movie then the FBI knocked on my door, I was afraid then they told me to stop. Watching this movie isn't worth the pain and suffering. I listened and stopped in time.

[@MichaelAarons1701]

The ending wanted to be Sean Connery telling him to “let it go” from the much superior _The Last Crusade_ when he was succumbing to the same obsession of his father over the Grail and about to make the same mistake as Ilsa.

[@pvt.2426]

I saw the movie on opening day and your review is 'spot-on'. Helena Shaw's character and the actress that portrays her are unlikable. Some parts of the movie was good (never great), but there were so many 'w.t.f. moments' that offset the positives. Not a great way to end the Indiana Jones franchise.

[@gkroll8467]

They have succeeded in men hating women even more

[@toyvania]

It ended with Crusade. The rest are just cash grabs.

[@marknewton6984]

Long over.

[@slightlyistorical1776]

I just watched this film a few hours ago and it… was something. It wasn't THAT horrible, but the entire time I just felt a sense of dread. It had the same score and protagonist we all know and love, but it just wasn't an Indians Jones movie. The first 20 minutes were great and nailed it as a successor to the original films, but the entire movie afterwards completely sucked. Once the ending scene closed with Indie's signature hat and the credits appeared, I just felt sad and gipped.

[@wehosrmthink7510]

They took your money. I feel for you.

[@banyakakal4299]

Most of the reviews I saw, they say the same thing, the first 20 mins are ok. I'm guessing it's the part where it was only Indy's scene where its shows the origin of the dial?

[@schris3]

​@@wehosrmthink7510Yes, I paid $8.66 dollars for 20 minutes of a good Indiana Jones movie, but you know what? It was kinda worth it, especially now that good or fun things in films are getting scarce.

[@brsubwayfc]

I can appreciate where you got the footage for the review. Good work up here.

[@razor6552]

She's the very worst of Poochie, JarJar Banks, and Cousin Oliver all rolled into one. Then sprayed with the stench of the new Velma.

[@alxra]

Is Indiana Jones' goddaughter the "Rey" of the Indiana Jones fanchise?

[@dronesclubhighjinks]

Or the Guyladriel?

[@MrWebweaver]

Rey is not unlikeable. She is not likeable either, she is just a blank slate.

[@mike91mdk45]

Rey isn't a complete asshole. OP, yes.

[@aquiestapedro]

Is worst than rey… and rey sucks

[@mookyyzed2216]

Worse.

[@stevenkosmata6800]

So if I man were to have a sidekick who was a pubescent girl, we would probably think of him a some kind of pedophile; but somehow a woman with a young boy is okay? I kept thinking to myself what kind of a relationship do these two have that he keeps going along with her all over the world, commit crimes, as well as fly a plane. It's ridiculous.

[@shibalegend3982]

Because the story is very contrived.

[@johnrule1607]

Excellent point!

[@SonicHedgehog1991]

I see your point. Although Batman did also have a teenage girl as his Robin in Dark Knight Returns and in the CW's god-awful Gotham Knights, Batman straight-up called his sidekick "my little Robin".

[@MrJoe81]

I never thought it was possible to fall a sleep in a movie three times and still feel like I didn’t. Miss anything

[@captainwohop]

I'm going to find the Dial of Destiny to prevent myself from going to the theater to see Disney disrespect my hero.

[@armandop9082]

Wouldn't it make more sense for Helena to be related to Marcus Brody or John Hurts character from Crystal Skull ?

[@KDine0might]

Even if this film does some what decent this week, Mission Impossible is going to absolutely destroy this film next week

[@schris3]

I rather take this film than Mission Impossible, here Harrison Ford just pretended he was in his prime for just 20 minutes. Tom Cruise just wants to pretend he can keep going forever with Mission Impossible.

[@Aaron-ox8ye]

How about the kid with the chocolate milk mustache? He has never flown a certain kind of plane, but not only he could fly it even in a monsoon and travel in time

[@COOL-tu2qg]

"These movies are written by children." I wasn't expecting an insult to children when I sat down to watch this video today, but here we are.

[@robbiegreve652]

The train scene was in 1944. The rest of the movie was in 1969. In those 25 years, Indy aged over 40 years.

[@gregr3720]

That's what I said too. LOL.

[@SRMoore1178]

Hopefully this movie will end the modern cinema age of strong woman boss Bl*** assholes. Maybe Hollywood will finally figure out that people can't stand these characters, but I wouldn't bet on it.

[@hv3115]

And men especially, who happen to be the core audience of these movies, can't stand these type of women.. whether in movies or in real life. Also, men want to be the hero.. and occassionally save a damsel in distress. There's nothing wrong with that.. and in fact, it is a reflection of actual reality. Despite decades of fem inism, wom en havent changed when it comes to the type of men they desire and find attractive. They want a strong, confident, capable man who rises in the dominance hierarchy and demonstrates his worth and high social status. And, like in the state of nature, such a man is rewarded for his strength, skill and courage with young, attractive females. That is reality.. whether you like it or not.. and that's why heroic characters SHOULD be male rather than female.. because this is a reflection of real life. Women are risk averse, physically weaker than men and will almost never be heroes and sacrifice or risk their lives for anyone else.. with the exception of their children. They dont need to prove themselves or rise in the dominance hierarchy to be rewarded with mates in the same way that males do. In fact, the more "successful" a woman is, the fewer mating options she has because she looks down on most men who arent at her level.

[@andrewdutton3831]

08:52 I busted out laughing. "...a broken old hero, and an unlikeable @$$*&(#! " Wasn't expecting that description!

[@poppie267]

I was expecting Helena to be anoying but i was never in a million years expected her to be THIS BAD.

[@SerpentStar_]

Thanks for explaining entire movie so I don’t have to go now. Maybe they like wasting millions to troll us hard by shitting all over beloved characters from our childhood💩

[@Jaytee.]

How do you know that the opinion of HateWatchers matches your own? You may have a different opinion on the movie if you watch it.

[@jamiebraswell5520]

You didn't "have to go" to start with. You are not required to go see a movie.

[@kerravon4159]

"And what does she do?" Breaks her bony little hand on his jaw..... Oh sorry that was reality... Um knocks him out.

[@TrueGamer22887]

You ever watch temple of doom?

[@dennispeterson3691]

The best thing about Indy 5, is that I've found a number of new KZbinrs to subscribe to.

[@mrcat3493]

Disney can’t even sell tickets in China. The Little Mermaid live action film only made 3.6 million there. Lol

[@bonzodog67lizardking15]

Disney/Lucasfilm lost me at Fleabag.

[@MochaMan]

Phoebe Waller Bridge thinking she was Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible

[@flaws9288]

Two stars for this movie, one for Mads Mikkelsen, one for nostalgia

[@gordonsmith6784]

This makes Crystal Skull look like Empire Strikes Back.

[@monashsq4001]

I think the opposite, Crystal skull was not as entertaining

[@martinh1309]

@@monashsq4001 lmao, lowbrow

[@FelixDegenaar]

Phoebe Waller-Bridge made and starred in a mini series called "Fleabag". In this she was the perfect protagonist, well cast. It was a fun series about a free-spirited but angry and confused young woman in London. It was well made and quite entertaining. She played herself in it, and she did a good job. Completely baffling though why they put this person with this character and limited acting range in this Indiana Jones movie.

[@jorgynnn]

totally agree! wish people didn’t bash pwb too hard for this, when instead clearly the problem was her character’s awkward and indecisive narration. :)

[@wizrom3046]

"She played herself in it"... Yeah an ugly insuffereable bish. She's good at that.

[@robertodell9193]

I watched Fleabag. Phoebe's character is insufferable. She's obnoxious and selfish. The show is the video equivalent of torture.

[@FelixDegenaar]

@@robertodell9193 I think that that was kind of the point of the series.

[@wehosrmthink7510]

Phoebe Inheritance-Privilege does not care what you commoners think. She’ll get her way regardless.

[@mikerotch8375]

Harrison Ford read the script and said: "...eh.....fine." And I ask; "Why"?

[@robertsinfiniterealms1308]

Best quote I’ve heard is “The studio is saying see, you can no longer love what you love and the audience response is but you keep going to these films anyway.”

[@tomojay28]

Didn't Indiana Jones drink from the Holy Grail & now has everlasting life? Has this been explained away since the Last Crusade?

[@florinelenaradamilea]

Logic & reason have nothing on those incompetent movie makers.

[@soddof7972]

Only as long as he didnt pass the seal

[@tomojay28]

@@soddof7972 Thanks; I did rewatch that scene & figured that was it; would have been a good ploy to keep the series & the Jones character going by changing actors a la James Bond.

[@Kickinthearse923]

The original budget for the original Indiana Jones in 1981 was 18 million $$. Incredible.

[@cobanus2862]

They don’t care about money anymore because they’re subsidized by US taxpayers. Blavkock (zionists) owns the usa financial system.

[@WH250398]

You do have to factor in inflation, but I bet it's still far lower than 303 million.

[@jt1559]

​@@WH250398according to an inflation calculator, $18m in 1981 is the equivalent of $60m today - so 20% of the cost to make DoD.

[@tancreddehauteville764]

@@jt1559 CPI inflation isn't really relevant for film making. The price of eggs or milk does not compare to making a movie.

[@greenarrow219]

Now its $300 million and its dog shit.

[@joeya8721]

I left the theater after seeing The Last Jedi and that was it for me. I wasn't completely done at that moment, but seeing what came after, it put the last nail in the coffin. Shameful how KK has been allowed to plunder and destroy uncontrollably. It's as if George Lucas gave a gift and it turned around and kicked him and the entire fandom right in the balls for it.

[@whos-the-stiff]

PWB took out Bond like a bitch, she has infected the Millennium Falcon and now she's smashed Indiana Jones in the face. What's next on her hit list ?

[@kovacsj7823]

Lara Croft.....

[@katherinestives940]

So let me understand this. Archimedes is given the design for the dial at the battle of Syracuse? This would be the same battle that he died in? So . . . when was he supposed to make this thing?

[@btafan11]

I think he was working on it during the battle. The Nazis heroically scared away the Romans and saved Archimedes so he had time I think

[@johnrule1607]

Hmmmmmm....