Indiana Jones 5 Is A Crime Against Cinema

[@peteg1696]

How do you create a multi-million dollar Hollywood franchise? Give Kathleen Kennedy a multi-billion dollar Hollywood franchise.

[@shazanali692]

She obviously has secrets about lucus and Spielberg, me too comes to mind, for all we know Spielberg is a rapist

[@Frithonor]

This film was doomed to fail. Harrison Ford is 80; you can’t ask him to do even 1/10 of what he needs to for an action film. Kathleen Kennedy or Zack Snyder…wouldn’t matter. This was gonna bomb.

[@The13thRonin]

Bold of you to assume she wouldn't reduce it to a multi-tens of dollars franchise.

[@peteg1696]

@@The13thRonin hahaha, Sorry my bad

[@justsomeguywholovesberserk6375]

Harrison Ford starred in not only one but two franchises that got mutilated by Kathleen Kennedy and Disney

[@nicholastotoro7721]

In all fairness, he knew what would happen and willingly participated. It did help him finish his trilogy of absentee dad, angry old man characters: 1) Han Solo 2) Rick Deckard 3) Indiana Jones He’s basically Mark Hamill-levels of cringe without the constant verbosity.

[@alexfriedman918]

Yeah, that’s the sad part! Ford probably didn’t know what was in store for Han Solo, when he signed on. But after TLJ, there was no way he didn’t realize what KK was planning to do to Indiana Jones … and he did it anyway!

[@jonathanpeterson1984]

He’s a white male, naturally she hates him😂

[@TheMartinTD]

And he is also the a constant factor, the guy doesn’t care about IJ just like he didn’t care about SW. If I didn’t care I’d take the crazy money they gave me too even if it meant shitting all over it.

[@l.aliban5122]

What was the first? 🤨

[@FOF275]

It's kinda hard not to notice how "strong independent women" in these movies are always stealing a man's shtick. Whether it's Rey, Batwoman, or this chick in Indiana Jones, they're always taking up the mantle of supposedly inferior men They're so strong, independent and better than men that they can't build their own legacies and piggyback off of men's. Hell, Rey stole Luke's last name even

[@LadyFairChildVideo]

super mario bros should have been called super peach's b*tch*s

[@MarvinPowell1]

That's the funny thing about being insecure and incompetent. These loser women don't hate men, they're jealous of men (or what they THINK most men are.) That's why "strong independent women" nowadays involves being a shitty, wanna-be Alpha Male with a vagina, ironically every instance of what they claim is "toxic masculinity" is okay if it's a 5'6" 120 pound woman doing the same thing. Like Rey, or Captain Marvel, or Teela, or female Ghostbusters, or an androgynous Terminator.

[@FOF275]

@diomedes7971 Making them have easy encounters robs them of great moments their male counterparts have Strength comes from overcoming great odds not easy challenges, so that's why they'll never be as popular

[@HankJWimbleton-v1m]

@@LadyFairChildVideoIronically enough, there's actually a Mario game that was literally called "Super Princess Peach". No, seriously.

[@LadyFairChildVideo]

@@HankJWimbleton-v1m the movie was all about her pretty much and luigi and mario almost completely lucky braindead morons.

[@petrri323]

Helena is an evil character. Through the whole film. Murder. Sabotage. Subterfuge. All for personal gain. It’s insane Disney thinks we’re gonna like her by the end of the movie.

[@firdanharbima6997]

and literally kidnapping and manipulating an old man while at it........ and we must think this character is the good guy disney?

[@jonfreeman9682]

But she later redeems herself by saving Indy and doing the noble thing so she wasn't all bad.

[@firdanharbima6997]

@@jonfreeman9682 SHE PUNCH AND LITERALLY ABUSE INDY AN ELDERLY OLD MAN FOR HER OWN GAIN WTF?!?!?

[@soundscapefusions3101]

@@firdanharbima6997 Nope Indy old man as you say retired had hung up his whip,the tough selfish pushy character was needed to,be pushy and harass and goad Indy back into action,can you see a pretty" please pick up your whip again" having the same effect,and when a tough action at end of film was needed to prevent Indy from erasing his own history and future you are not looking for a delicate sidekick.

[@firdanharbima6997]

@@soundscapefusions3101 pushy ≠ harassment you dumb dumb ape LITERALLY PUNCHING INTO KNOCKING INTO TYING HIM AKA KIDNAPPING HIM IS NOT PUSHING HIM

[@JohnDoe-vm5rb]

I absolutely disagree on your video. I have every confidence they can make a worse film than this.

[@LordofSadFac]

Oh definately, after all they originally were going to kill indy, erase him from story and actually replace all of his achievements with Phoebe Weiler by badly photoshopping her over Harrison Ford. This was the actual ending they had for this movie, but after the script leaks and awful results of the test screenings they forced themselves to change it into this.

[@FestArc]

@@LordofSadFac That's not true. That was made up and the bad photoshop you're talking about was made by someone at home on their computer. That was never filmed or part of any script.

[@JohnS-il1dr]

Yup Star Wars with Ray as the builder of the new Jedi Order. Another KK insert

[@cosmojames]

Fuuuuuu

[@nedmurry7283]

Ooh they did with Ezra as The Flash.

[@AdachiSimp]

I still think that killing Indie's only son off screen was just petty

[@Pussyrepelent]

That’s coming from Adachi

[@WH250398]

It absolutely pissed me off. I hated how they also took away the respect everyone had for Indy. Indy's students adorered him, and his lessons in archeology. Of course in this movie, everyone hates him and falls asleep. It was so mean spirited.

[@HankJWimbleton-v1m]

@@PussyrepelentBased Adachi

[@iggy9790]

I agree. I would very much have like to have seen Shia LaBeouf die on screen.

[@skeletorrobo]

Just like John Connor.

[@neildennis7294]

She literally steals artifacts for money, but he’s a “grave robber”. Sounds like a real Fleabag of a woman to me.

[@CasiodorusRex]

Temple of Doom beginning Indiana Jones is selling a diamond to gangsters for money.

[@petrri323]

@@CasiodorusRex a diamond. Not a historical artifact.

[@mallardtheduck406]

@@petrri323 Indiana Jones is exchanging the remains of an Emperor "Nu Hachi" from the Manchu Dynasty to a gangster in return for a diamond, then the Chinese Gangster double crosses Indy and wants both item' s back in return for the antidote he slipped into Indy's drink. Remember the round mirror glass sliding table at the booth, where they exchange object's? That is where Indy's friend who is either relation or friend to Shortround is shot quietly in the sequence with Cate Capshaw after the "Anything Goes" performance, for being Iniana's backup in the bar.

[@jonfreeman9682]

And she was selling it dirt cheap. At her private auction that priceless time travel McGuffin was bidding at a few thousand only.

[@megapeebs2631]

​@CasiodorusRex to be fair Temple of Doom was a prequel to Raiders his mindset changed as he went through the movie which is why he is so "it belongs in a museum" around Raiders of the lost ark

[@WestTexasForce]

To me, Indiana Jones ended with The Last Crusade. Same goes for Star Wars as that ended with Return Of The Jedi.

[@rodgermurphy5721]

15 years ago I never thought I would see the death of Hollywood in my lifetime

[@rbu2136]

We want our heroes to be heroes. Not ridiculed and hated and despised.

[@miam1074]

Yes, because we are children and have an infantile view of reality and expectation. Also it hurts our fragile feelings!

[@keithhanisek2465]

@@miam1074 stupid comment. 👎

[@JeikuAnimeReview]

@@miam1074 ??? No it's just a bad film and trashing on our heros to push a "message".

[@bdleo300]

@@miam1074 perhaps we are children and have unrealistic expectations from movie characters. That's why >heroes< exist in human myths, art, literature since ancient times. Perhaps we want them to be something more than pathetic, weak, worthless failures portrayed by Hollywood today. No doubt it's your reality, but no one wants to watch this...

[@joeschmo4170]

@@miam1074 yeah like the original Star Wars Movies Yeah the Alien Aliens movies Yeah like the Indie movies. It's a genre and it's ok. YOU grow up. This trash is anti hero actually anti male..again.

[@Dec4AllTimeAlways]

Kathleen Kennedy is a crime against humanity. Phoebe was also the feminist droid, L3-37, in Solo. Another Harrison Ford character Kathleen and Phoebe ruined.

[@russian_knight]

At least that robot was sort of interesting and was killed off before she got annoying

[@nicholastotoro7721]

@@russian_knight KK got the last little "dig" by putting the droid's consciousness into the Falcon.

[@jonmcclane7433]

I love how Teddy hot wires a Plane, steals a plane, takes off in a Plane, Flies the Plane, goes back in time, and then lands the Plane on a goddamn Battlefield. All while never once flying a Plane.

[@LunarAtlas]

Lots of irrational things occurred in the films before Crystal skull. One can argue that luck played a factor in them all, so why not luck for Teddy flying a plane and not crashing? It could be argued that Teddy had flown before, as well, before just being able to practice to keep himself fresh for the activity without a plane. Or, conversely, he could have been a prodigy, a natural born, who could absorb the lessons he received from other aviators and apply them to the real thing. Everything that occurs within the action sequences in the entire franchise is unlikely, fortunate happenstance.

[@jonfreeman9682]

You could say she's the male version of Mary Sue.

[@LunarAtlas]

I don’t know man. I liked it. And nothing felt like it was trying to ram a “woke” message down my throat. If anything they seemed to have personally made the female roll villainous and unlikable, at least in the first half of the film.

[@MrCopernicum]

I remember how everybody hated the prequel trilogy to star wars until the sequels came out and now most fans are like: "yeah, JarJar was annoying, but looking back, those movies were actually quite nice." Same with Crystal Skull. The movie is still bad but compared to this BS it sure deserves some appreciation for how it at least tried to respect the titular hero!

[@adolfolerito6744]

Absolutely agreed. Compared to this, Crystal Skull is like a Shakespearean poem, as much as the SW prequels are basically Oscar material compared to the utter waste that KK shat out…

[@sofajockeyUK]

I enjoyed all the Star Wars movies from IV, V and Rogue One at their best, to II and Solo being ok, but each one has a good deal to enjoy.

[@sofajockeyUK]

@@diomedes7971 Why would the makers attack the customer base? The customers are the ones that enjoy the movies?

[@j0ste1]

@@sofajockeyUK actualy Disney ( mostly Kathleen Kennedy) did attack the fans, by saying, that star wars fans are hatefull bigoits, who troole the internet, from their mothers basements. After the blowback of the trainwreck, that was «the last jedi»

[@vin8754]

the difference in the prequels is that there is still a good story and concepts/ideas in them (eg the clones, maul, qui gon and dookus relationship etc) its just that a lot of it gets caught up in the questionable stuff like bad side characters like JarJar, questionable dialogue that Lucas wrote and other stuff. ROTS has the least amount of the questionable stuff and that film is actually comparable in quality to the original trilogy (in my opinion anyway). The new trilogy is the complete opposite, it felt like they had a good story going in the first film but then they just completely threw it away in the other 2, and theres very little to actually appreciate in them

[@doghouse6413]

Sorry, I have little patience for these movie stars, after making it to the top, going along with this mutilation of their characters. And without any pushback. It’s cowardly in the end.

[@jerryjeromehawkins1712]

It's the epitome of boring, predictable, uncreative writing.

[@countryjoe3551]

It's all about the paycheck...

[@dmomintz]

Disney execs are clueless. Never forgive what they did to Luke and now Indy.

[@circomkt]

And Han also!

[@ViJt-oq5nq]

Not clueless... It's intentional...

[@circomkt]

@@diomedes7971 I remember clearly watching TFA's 1st teaser trailer - the one that starts with John Boyega in the desert. It gives me goosebumps till today! I had so many expectations and even the new characters were very promising. But then... Kathleen Kenndy, Bob Iger, Ruin Johnson, Jar Jar Abrams and (let's neve forget) all the Disney board completely vandalized Star Wars.

[@jimbeaux89]

I’ll never forgive. I was a huge Star Wars fan since my birth in 89. I went to senior prom in my jedi robe for crying out loud. Disney made me completely detach myself from Star Wars from what they did and are continuing to do to it. I feel so bad for Harrison.

[@circomkt]

@@diomedes7971 And they made the Leia Poppins too! By the way, the Mini Leia in the Obi-Wan show is another display of wasted talent (the little girl is so cute and fun!) and character misunderstanding by Disney.

[@philippekogler]

They killed Han Solo and Luke Skywalker, blackfaced Cleopatra, changed the gender of Hulk and Batman, ridiculized Thor and shaved dwarfs, now they killed Indiana Jones. What´s next?

[@7resist7tyranny7]

Our kids

[@DH-xh3pg]

You forgot they killed James Bond lol. What’s next? They spit on our graves when we did …

[@isaa8521]

@@7resist7tyranny7 trust me no one cares about your kids. Most people aren’t trying to have kids. They are smelly and annoying. Please keep your kids far away from everyone.

[@jonfreeman9682]

Let's see when Snow White comes out. They'll think of something new.

[@timothypacker4276]

Vote for Joe Biden again. 😞

[@dogstar5927]

I saw it yesterday. The first 15 mins was good and nostalgic. Everything after that was utter garbage! The audience kept booing every time Phoebe Waller Bridge was on screen. Don’t waste your money, and more importantly- your time ! 🙄🤦🏽‍♂️🤮

[@greenking615]

and then everyone stood up and clapped.

[@kmasonsos]

@@greenking615right lol

[@michaelreich4827]

KK knew 2 important things: -How Spielberg took his coffee -How he liked his duck sucked

[@clintoruss153]

Michael : Hahahhahahahah😂😂😂

[@VashStarwind]

Yep very much so... lolol

[@MarvinPowell1]

And 3: -How to interrupt people with bad ideas.

[@PrivateVoid1]

Ageism - the one prejudice that Hollywood seems to think is still fine in 2023.

[@wydryfly]

Ford was very happy to play Indy’s character one more time as long as his paycheck had the right amount of Zeros at the end of it. His promotional interviews clearly showed that.

[@AJadedLizard]

"Fanfiction" is thrown around with reckless abandon but...the main character does nothing and is upstaged at every turn by the new OC. This *is* fanfiction.

[@Eidolon1andOnly]

It's not fanfic because it wasn't written by fans.

[@Lestat21500]

You forgot to mention the writers completely forgot that indy was wanted for murder. The ending re-shoot was so rushed with that fade to black...it came off as lazy.

[@mrtraveller2020]

i didnt even realise he was wanted LOL. it was so trash, that CIA agent was just a total waste of my life.

[@SirDerp909]

It's more like _they_ forgot that they mentioned that Indy was wanted for murder.

[@SirDerp909]

@@diomedes7971 To tell the truth, stuff like this, that happens to incidental characters, never counted. They were just there to advance the plot. But the movie set up Jones being at least wanted for questioning about a double homicide, with the camera focusing on his bloody handprints on a phone receiver. And no one ever said there would be a 'reset' if they went through that time portal. They went back the same way they came, and to the same time period they just left. Disney fumbled the bag, big time.

[@sleepygunplaboi5797]

Disney I don't think you have any right to talk bad about capitalism when you thank a concentration camp in china

[@mrviking2mcall212]

And refuse to allow Spider-Man to be carved on a child’s grave because it would ‘damage company image’.

[@burnin8orable]

The script writers can have different opinions from Disney.

[@logicaldude3611]

The Last Crusade is the ending to the Indy saga.

[@guiguijol]

The real crime is to expect something good from Disney. Thinking it's not done on purpose.

[@serlancerlot315]

It doesn't help when the main actress looks like that. Aww.

[@taylorpepper110]

Lmfao I agree

[@modetraining2961]

Marriage and children is the ultimate lifestyle choice. Disney wants this way of life destroyed….hence depressing crap like this

[@JUSTNELLA]

One of the first objectives of the communism! And no religion

[@TurdJesus]

@@JUSTNELLAfuck religion too. God damn simpleton adults who believe in such old childish fairytales and magic. Idiots 😂

[@bdleo300]

@@JUSTNELLA megacorporations like Disney are many things, but communists? Nope.

[@nicosogrecos]

They are destroying all our movie heroes, look what they did to Bond.

[@WH250398]

Glad you agree on that with me. I felt very alone on feeling that No Time To Die ruined everything that Bond stood for. Hated that movie just as much as this one.

[@nicosogrecos]

@@WH250398 In my opinion Skyfall was the start of destroying him, they made him the butt of jokes as him being a relic and a dinasaur, then he was inadequate to pass the tests, also his butler came up with all the traps in the house , then he failed to save M, it was dreadful in my opinion. Now killing him off was the final insult.

[@svetlanaandrasova6086]

I pirated this movie and still felt like I got robbed.

[@RamboZabikuch]

😂 so did I. But i only saw the first half. I have this with most films today. Avatar 2 for example...

[@resonancetides7196]

Right choice. Don't give them any cent.

[@jackspring7709]

Glad to see these creepy hollyweird studios are finally putting themselves out of everyone's misery.

[@lassanamasso2687]

Right in everything aspect...cinema is dead..Women killed it..

[@asiantom4935]

Bad writing and blatant nostalgia bait did it

[@MALICEM12]

Like so many other things

[@SlumParadise]

Women always try to ruin anything that's fun 😂😂😂😂😂

[@MALICEM12]

@@SlumParadise nature's shit test

[@SixSioux]

@@MALICEM12 ur mom included I guess

[@Gen_Kael]

I have watched this for 3 seconds and i can already tell another strong independent woman is going to destroy another once loved franchise

[@kennethwilliams5668]

Yes totally agree its a pathetic movie total waste my money

[@damienrobertson1593]

I grew up on Indiana Jones movies and enjoyed it at the theater with my kids last night. It’s far better than Crystal Skull and the way they brought the female character into the story was not horrible and made sense that she would be smart and crafty based on who her father and god father were. Then again of course everyone does have a valid point that an 80 year old Indiana Jones should be quicker and more agile than a woman leas than half his age. Because that makes more sense.😂

[@georgeedward1226]

If female empowerment means denigrating men, it doesn't say much about females if chopping down men is the only way they can elevate themselves.

[@markjohnson3196]

Great point

[@LSB001]

Making men look artificially weak is the only way the can convince themselves they're better. Because they know humanity is a male-dominated species, and no amount of identity politics propaganda will change that.

[@iggy9790]

It's not even elevation. Bringing something down to your level is not the same as rising up. Strong females aren't about destroying men. It's about being a strong woman. By having them be better than men by acting like ruder, meaner, more arrogant men than the message being sent is that women ARE weak and can only not be weak by being men... Not a great message. Could you imagine and movie, video game or anime where their strong female protagonists slammed every male on screen the entire run time? Jill Valentine telling Berry, Brad, Wesker and Chris to check their privilege in every cut scene? Could you imagine how hard a time Samus in Metroid would have had if she refused to pick up missiles because they look like penises?

[@atomicdancer]

My favorite moment was when Helena said, "I have to go now. My planet needs me," and then off she flew back into outer space. So stunning... So brave...

[@MarvinPowell1]

@atomicdancer Top comment! 🐕‍🦺

[@SirDerp909]

You forgot the slide whistle sound. 😄

[@I-Fail-A-Lotl]

So you can't make woman not be mary sues, but you can make a movie about bullying an old man

[@lightningbug276]

Theaters should show Raiders of the Lost Ark and watch it make more money 😂

[@bandjolyn]

I would go see that in a heartbeat!

[@darthcheeseburger]

Saw it last night and I'm just really sad and defeated at this point. They've managed to destroy all our favorite film series one by one over the past 40 years.

[@bones10145]

There was no reason to reunite Indy and Marian. They already had a happy ever after in the last movie. They should have never been broken up again!

[@modetraining2961]

They didn’t break up. This trash film doesn’t exist

[@yelsahblah3270]

I just don't understand how Short Round's actor wasn't asked to come back. What a reunion that would have been.

[@josephsalmonte4995]

It would've taken attention away from strong woman.

[@bvang0520]

If someone has to continuously tell people how beautiful and smart they are, they aren't.

[@BrickFighter13]

Kathleen Kennedy has done it, she has officially killed all 3 Lucasfilms products.

[@chasehedges6775]

She is the destroyer of worlds

[@blackdynamite_5470]

The *real* OPPENHEIMER eat.your heart out Christopher Nolan

[@Enigma75614]

She hasn’t murdered American Grafitti yet.

[@stevenesbitt3528]

I do blame Ford for this, he didn’t have to do it, he doesn’t care obviously so why should we?

[@Slipvayne1]

I miss when movies were about telling a story instead of trying to force beliefs and agendas on people. Also wish they would stop milking franchises to death until they become unwatchable. Just let things end and be. Endless remakes amd sequels are getting ridiculous. Same with F&F, not even about racing anymore its turned into a Mission Impossible franchise.

[@suenzhong7891]

Even though I disliked Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (especially when I compare it to the previous Indy films) I loved how Indy, Marion and Mutt became a happy family in the end. Of course Disney had to take the one good thing that show had and destroy it.

[@pdas4182]

I know right. I really didn't mind crystal skull that much. Mutt was actually an interesting sidekick+son since he had no idea who Indie was and along the movie he came to appreciate him as a badass and as his father. It was a really good happy ending too. And here disney have it all destroyed. Mutt's dead and Marion's split. Wow. And then they basically give him the same ending as crystal skull by replacing Mutt with this girl. Why.....?🥲

[@Enigma75614]

It’s ridiculous that Phoebe Waller-Bridge complains about capitalism despite the fact that she clearly benefits from it.

[@Pessimisti_56]

She complains so that others don't have to. That's stunning that is. And more, its brave. And financially she only accepts expenses.

[@Enigma75614]

@@Pessimisti_56 It’s not brave at all because all of woke Hollywood does it.

[@Pessimisti_56]

@@Enigma75614 Hollywood has always done it. It has always exploited people, traditions and trends. The only difference to my mind is that the original studio founders and bosses were far more intelligent than today's pretenders.

[@Th3Kingism]

That pretty much sums every socialist living in the west.

[@scottw5315]

Anyone know how much she was paid?

[@xaviervega468]

There are 3 Indiana Jones movies. Period.

[@megaman37456]

3 Indiana Jones movies and 1 spinoff (Crystal Skull) it was good enough to at least be considered a spinoff and not an actual Indy movie.

[@AdaTheWatcher]

As a 19 year old who was introduced to indiana by my dad. I absolutely love the old movies. This just makes me sad.

[@tankwfw]

Harrison Ford is my favorite actor, but I have to say he's really phoned in his roles the last 20 years

[@artzreal]

remember "the future is female"? well, it's here and it stinks.

[@underthepale]

Yeah, the future is female, all right. Lonely, and barren.

[@nannerl6243]

I'll say we knew that.

[@BoleDaPole]

They say the future is female without being able to define what exactly a female is.

[@Anchor-Supreme]

It’s pretty obvious that Kathleen’s original goal was to make Phoebe Wallet Bridge the new Indy, but this just didn’t cut it man. If you wanted someone to replace Indy, there should’ve been a movie about Indy mentoring someone like Chris Pratt to fill his shoes. You could’ve easily done a movie with Chris Pratt being an aspiring archeologist, searching for someone to teach him more about the ins-and-outs.

[@nerychristian]

They should have just reboot the franchise with a young actor. No need to show an 80 year old man trying to pull action stunts.

[@greenking615]

yea man, Id love a movie where Harrison ford talks to chris pratt and teaches him how to be an archeologist bro. Imagine a scene where he like teaches him how to like read a map bro ON GOD ID BE SO HYPED. Id clap when it showed Harrison ford showing chris how to like shoot a gun because he's too woke to know how lol and then like have him show him like how to dust off an artifact bro so fucking sick. Oh oh then he could like show him how to like climb rocks and shit and ooooo maybe even like how to jump and stuff and be a total cool man.

[@beyondnow1600]

@@greenking615 😅😂

[@kevinkunzmann8782]

Walt Disney mortgaged his house to start Disney and now Disney is being destroyed by greedy executives who are a blight on the company 😀

[@ObliteratedZane668]

I will not. I WILL NOT see my boy Indy get this kind of treatment. I will not support it.

[@MissPerriwinkle]

when we saw it, whenever her face appeared on the screen, the audience erupted into ferocious boos...

[@toddrose4208]

Dang... where did you see it? Proudboyville, Florida?

[@MissPerriwinkle]

@@toddrose4208 i wouldnt set foot in florida.....

[@CasiodorusRex]

Why? Her character was really no different than any of the other female leads.

[@nikosvault]

and then you woke up.

[@Yherarc]

You’re wrong and everything wrong with Hollywood. Not sure if you’re a Kathleen Kennedy paid troll.. But this movie pretty much has Indiana’s character sidelined as a sidekick to Phoebe Walkers character who insults and mocks Indiana the whole time. I hope to God Kathleen Kennedy gets fired for this. It’s now two franchises she has destroyed by implanting a female character no one’s asked for.

[@alexfriedman918]

So, let me get this straight: Indiana Jones would have wrecked history, had he stayed in Syracuse, but machine gunning down a bunch of Roman soldiers, at least several of whom probably weren’t supposed to die at the (successful) siege - no problem?!

[@SAIIIURAI]

... don't forget the crash landed plane! ^^

[@brianboyle2681]

Also - Isn’t an existing effect on the timeline alluded to when the find what turns out to be Mikkelsen’s skeleton in the tomb? With the frieze including the propellers etc? Maybe I’m misinterpreting this because the whole thing was such a confusing shambles for the audience. As I said above - the original versions of this movie were probably more comprehensible!

[@MarvinPowell1]

"Don't ask questions. Just consume product, then get excited for next product."

[@goofyman]

​@@MarvinPowell1fellow Critical Drinker enjoyer

[@brysonfreeman7226]

I absolutely agree that the fitting send off for Indiana Jones is: The Last Crusade, which should’ve ended there in 1989

[@haslahali746]

It did..

[@darrylmars]

Life is not fair, but giving Fleabag millions of dollars to wreck Indy while talented writers & actors are out of work is just wrong..

[@pinkyndebrain4578]

Your last words “F**k this movie” - I really felt that! Indy 5 is quite the cinematic turd.

[@gasgaslex_photos]

It's sad that there is only Tom Cruise left making watchable movies

[@Rad9000]

All the main stream news sources covering the faliure of this film at the box office won't go near the real reasons it failed, which are illustrated here perfectly.

[@jmc2830]

what did you expect? the past 5-10 years of movie making as had the express intention of destroying or degrading anything that came before. the industry is run by talentless hacks... anyone with integrity and passion was ousted years ago.

[@jaredbezes7806]

I don’t know why anyone would be surprised by this, it was made by Kathleen Kennedy

[@miketocci]

This video didnt pull any punches. It is also completely correct. Current day Disney is trash and they produce nothing but trash. Disney's acquisition of Lucasfilm was one of the worst things to ever happen in entertainment.

[@xavierghostlink3856]

how does disney managed to kill 3 blockbuster franchise

[@rytlocknroll]

Literally one of the most uneventful, mundane, unhappy endings to a movie I’ve ever laid my eyes on, in the history of my 20 years of existence on this planet. It irks me that Mutt Williams, Indiana's son, was not the next badass archeologist. Instead of following in his father’s footsteps to preserve history, they give us “he died pissed at his father in the Vietnam war” and for what, to prove a point? Because he’s a male? You would think that after 14 f*cking years, we would get some development from Shia LaBeouf's character, but nope! He dies a pointless death for a pointless reason in a pointless war, because he’s a “toxic male” with a deadbeat father who got the Luke Skywalker treatment; legend turned a total bum, and overshadowed by the self-insert of a narcissistic sociopath with an agenda. Though I guess it’s a bit of a bittersweet ending for the people that actually love the vestiges of George Lucas' legacy. Though Kathleen Kennedy may be gone (and hopefully soon) there is nothing left for her to destroy. How or why she wasn’t fired at the beginning is beyond me, but at least it’s over now, right?..

[@MarvinPowell1]

She hasn't been fired because she's basically got an Epstein Client List on all of Hollywood and uses it to blackmail them.

[@Puggy42069]

Truly an awful film that makes crystal skull look good. Easily the worst movie of 2023 and the year isn’t over yet.

[@So_pho_king_awesome]

Plot twist. Kathleen Kennedy got rejected by Harrison Ford 40-50 years ago. So she “worked” her way up just to destroy his legacy in Star Wars and Indiana Jones 😂😂😂😂😂

[@florianlemysterieux1689]

the moment that immediately took me out of the film was when Indiana says "I don't believe in magic", like Indi did you see the 4 previous films?

[@danielheartfire614]

Sounds like exactly what I expected from Disney. A failed organization only loved by failed people. Shia Lebouf can be happy he was not in this.

[@troyhm6936]

I can't buy that she'd be able to punch out Indy. The suspension of disbelief ain't holding up that bridge.

[@SirDerp909]

He had lost blood from being shot.

[@planes3333]

Honestly I think the worst insult in movie history was watching Princess Leah as a child out running three grown adults. Not only that the poor girl runs like a todler while her perusers are getting caught in low hanging branches, my goodness I havent felt that type of cringe for a long time!!!

[@LukeLovesRose]

When your movie is worse than Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, you know that you screwed up

[@wendyburrows4178]

Definitely won't bother. Will leave Indiana in the past, where, let's be honest, we'd all be much happier

[@scoobykitty]

I don't understand why they had to destroy the Indiana Jones character in order for his neice to be a hero. A sequel isn't going to be successful when you replace a loved character with someone unrecognizable.

[@tadpolegaming4510]

How come none of the people in the comments section praising the film have profile pictures?

[@Kittensinurface]

The female lead -- Phoebe whatever, has a weird bony face that's unpleasant to look at for too long. She's like Kathleen Kennedy's mary sue fantasy.

[@moserfugger6363]

best comment ever!!!! so true!!

[@jwroot]

And the fact that she thinks she's beautiful is just so hilarious! XD

[@8yerbrain]

I can't wait to not watch this movie.

[@abh3designs364]

its not a bad movie by any means

[@theunknowncommenter725]

Indiana Jones ended with Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Indy and Marian and got married, reunited with his son, and lived happily ever after. Anything Indiana Jones NOT done by George Lucas and Steven Spielberg is non-canon.

[@modetraining2961]

💯

[@HankJWimbleton-v1m]

You know, I've always imagined that everything in this movie was nothing more than just Indy's weird fever dream. It's one of the moments where the whole "it was all a dream" twist is a better conclusion than what we got right here.

[@Outlier777]

Sadly, at this stage it's cinema itself that's the crime against humanity.

[@thethe6232]

I was hoping we got a raw , unapologetic Indy movie , similar to Logan! I would of liked to of seen this one as the definitive Indy movie. They could of just called it simply “Jones,or Indiana “ and striped the narrative right back to its origins . Indy could of grown a long white beard and become somewhat eccentric in his ways and reactivated by some worthy course to then sacrifice himself in a blaze of selfless glory in Hue Jackman style . All the elements were available to make this movie a great send of for ford , but Disney chose to self-indulgent in its ever spinning web of Wokery !

[@jonfreeman9682]

Logan is too heavy for Indy which is a light hearted comedy adventure. It wouldn't work with fans.

[@iamchico]

*could've. Not 'could of'

[@doublep1980]

One of the dumbest things in this movie is the fact that Mads Mikkelsen´s Nazi villain, employs a black woman as one of his -henchmen- eh henchpeople. Because even evil Nazi villains have diversity quotas, I guess....

[@Mondomeyer]

Well, Japan...

[@jorgecas5678]

Thats a American delegate, she was killed by the Nazis when they showed their true colours. Did you saw the movie?

[@Unapologeticweeb]

Also how the fuck does a Nazi in modern time get anywhere near that amount of people? there ideology has been dead for centuries

[@Dclin9]

This movie makes Crystal Skull look good. And that makes me very sad.

[@BlackGold-fc7tu]

We can all help by only showing our children and grandchildren that there's 3 Indy films

[@jeffkillingsworth5750]

Should have ended it with THE LAST CRUSADE!!! Hense the word in the title is "LAST"

[@gamingmoth4542]

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull viewers: "Perhaps I treated you too harshly."

[@timm_3r]

I cant help but think a better actress that didn't have a face like Beaker from the muppets could have improved this film 100%.

[@mhlkta8516]

Agree.

[@ChillinwithChet]

maggie Gyllenhael or Joan Cusack equally barf

[@Darkstar_Dayne]

She looks like a goat

[@timm_3r]

omg, they all must have the same fugly father. lol

[@lancebaylis3169]

Imagine ending Indiana Jones' story with him as a miserable old man, after doing exactly the same thing to Han Solo and Luke Skywalker already, and wondering why your audience gives the movie the "no thanks".

[@jonfreeman9682]

Well at least they didn't leave Indy in 240 BC Sicily. 😆

[@thomasloney612]

What was the point of bringing up continental drift? It makes no sense. They end up finding a fissure any way, and we are led to believe they are sent to 200 B.C. because the coordinates are wrong only to be told a few minutes later the dial was specifically designed to take people to 200 B.C. So in other words, it gave them the right coordinates, and continental drift had nothing to do with anything!

[@billbillinger2117]

If the only way to glorify your new replacement protagonist character in an existing IP is to have them humiliate, denigrate, and immasculate their predecessor...your character might just be terrible. These movies are written by angsty teens I swear.

[@thaelon5514]

And the movie is enjoyed by low iq morons. Reading some of the comments confirms this. I remember when The Force Awakens came out, I hated it, but it was received pretty well overall, and it's the same with this movie. It's not so blatantly offensive that it's Cleopatra bad, but it's still so obivously terrible to anyone with a functioning brain. It's infected with the same trope of inserting terribly written, rude, morally reprehensible female characters to replace the older male leads. These films come off as incredibly smug and all I can think of is the Disney execs going ''Yeeees...the peasants will like this one.''

[@alexfriedman918]

I love the part where Roman soldiers calmly and easily take down a fighter…

[@VinceLyle2161]

We're all supposed to not notice that these "heroines" all faintly look like what Kathleen Kennedy did 40 years ago?

[@alysha2162]

The self insertion is strong with this one

[@michaelcarrasquillo4781]

@@alysha2162I understood that reference

[@dyerseve45]

Excuse me. Did you say they meet archemedes? Looking back i now wish indy had been melted when they opened the ark

[@abominog888]

Harrison Ford doesn't care about the fans. He's only in it for the paycheck.

[@saschaberger3212]

Maybe that's some humiliation fetish thing I don't know. No kink shame. Poor old man

[@Nico_Robin1033]

She calls Indy a grave robber, but on the Roman trireme wreck she quite literally destroys the remains of several centurions

[@greenking615]

She wasn't calling out his lack of morals for being bad, simply questioning why he is attacking her morals when he himself inset a saint , context matters.

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

Indulge me, would you? Here’s my alternate reality take on the opening. We open up on the quaint but good house of Indiana Jones, happily married to Marion. We pan through the hallway and see pictures of Indy and Mutt having good ol moments together; drinking at a bar together, fishing, etc. They managed to patch a gruff, manly father and son relationship. show a pic that restless Mutt joined the Army, with his proud dad next to him. Right around the Vietnam war. And then…the folded flag. The dog tags. Indy passes it, touching it fondly, before sighing heavily and continuing on down the stairs to go to his hobby/job. Indy is content. Content, but…bored. He’s an old lion, but a lion nonetheless. He still yearns for the adrenalin rush of a good tomb raid, but he lives in the modern age. There just aren’t tombs to raid anymore. So he teaches about it, but he’s BORED. RESTLESS. But damn, what should he do? Enter Helena. She initially shows herself to be a brash, smug little minx, but that’s part of her arc, hold on. At first, we’re meant to hate her. She tries to get Indy into this one last ride, with this confidence that she’ll get it done. He rejects her, because he’s Indy and he’s old, and what’s she saying about time travel? Crock of shit, lady, f*ck you. Only, she reveals later in a moment of desperate vulnerability, she’s been at this her whole life because she loved the stories of the Legendary Indians Jones growing up and wanted to have a name just like that. But she’s failed, time and time again. Show an amusing montage of her TRYING some of the Indy classics and barely not dying But who better to teach her resilience in the face of rough times than our hardened as leather and beloved Indiana Jones? And hey, if she’s wrong, he’ll still probably get a good run out of it, maybe make some money along the way. He begrudgingly takes her under his wing (after a good conversation with Marion in which she lovingly supports her old husband having one last adventure, but her hip surgeries will not allow her to follow, but we see a moment of tenderness between the two that causes us to root for Indy’s safe return) and off they go, to a grand adventure. Helena learns to drop the overconfident act and reveals she’s a somewhat charming if not bumbling hero. She’s not a femme fatale, but her earnest and enthusiastic energy is endearing and attractive. There’s even a moment where she gets to wear the hat and wield the whip, and as they’re fleeing the bad guys he’ll be like “how was that?” And she’ll be grinning and like “like I’ve been waiting to do it my WHOLE LIFE, this is so awesome” and he’ll give a gruff smile like “yeah kid, it is” That’s all I’ve got so far, but are you more interested in this draft? No salt if no.

[@ericfrancisco6615]

After watching that abomination thanks to a free ticket, I would've preferred this. Keep going with it.

[@RichardForsyth-et2qb]

This movie was so boring that it was hard for me to even watch a sarcastic review of it. It's kind of impressive, really. I'm so bored with this dumb movie that I'm getting bored writing this.

[@satisfied656]

If there only was scene in the movie, were "Indy slapps the sh*t out of Helena"🤗 i honestly would go to the cinema and pay to see this!😏Maybe with these re-shots "Indiana Jones V - The dial of Diarrhea" will be a #blockbuster🤔

[@willpeony5534]

I feel your pain, I'd recommend James Gunn's recent stuff as how these sort of comic book movies should be done.

[@Crusader3455]

This movie was absolute garbage I can’t believe they did this to one of our greatest heros

[@speedycerviche2380]

Nah dude. Disney corp doesnt care about money. Its about, "ThE MESSAGE".

[@Kav82a]

@@thomaswilliams6690 Nonsense.Their stock is plummeting, they are firing people, Galactic hotel is closed, they are cancelling TV shows and they keep making stupid woke remakes and live action films over and over again blaming the audience when their movies flop.If Disney wanted to make profit Iger, Kenedy and several others should have been fired years ago.A company that actually wants to sell, listens to its customers and provides what they want. Disney has become political and their target is to push their agenda no matter how much money they are going to lose.

[@michaeldavis2001]

Actually, Logan was a movie about an ageing, now broken hero, who is replaced by a female counterpart. And then he dies. With the bonus that Charles Xavier is an ageing, now broken hero, and then he dies. James Mangold is vastly overrated. Disney is an ageing, now broken studio. Let it die!

[@marychocolatefairy]

I agree, this is a cinematic crime. I will say in Ford's defense, when he signed up for this, Spielberg was going to be the director. But Spielberg left after Disney kept rejecting his scripts. Not much has been revealed about his plans (that I've seen), except that Indy and Marion were still married and that Karen Allen was going to have a relatively big role. Then Mangold came on and redid everything- and it was his idea to turn Indy into a pathetic, lonely man whose old age was the focus of the movie.

[@SkyExplosion]

It's funny you think Ford cares past a paycheck

[@GenesiisDavid]

Damn, it's truly a terrible time to be a fan of old franchises. Everything sucks now. Terminator sucks, Predator sucks, star wars suck, Indiana Jones sucks.... Everything fucking sucks.

[@oldschoolgnrfan6035]

The ‘Creed’ movies were good, at least the first two were. I didn’t see the third because Sylvester Stallone was not asked to be a part of it.

[@Afineaddition]

Rocky, Top Gun, and Karate Kid came out unscathed at least

[@olliefoxx7165]

​@Afineaddition Give it time...like a plague of locust they will eventually find the nuggets we still enjoy

[@GenesiisDavid]

@@thomaslabat prey was good. But before that it was just sad.