INFJ Perfectionist Paralysis

[@FrankJames]

🔴 Here's another video you'll like: Unhealthy INFJ: 7 Signs You're an Unhealthy INFJ kzbin.info/www/bejne/d6ikhadrlNOLhK8 ⭐

[@lindawilson7035]

Frank James I am an INFJ You are truly Amazing and describe everything perfectly. Good Luck to you!💙

[@jennifergablah1422]

Perfectionist paralysis. This kind of keeps us a step backwards. May be.

[@SantanaBanana47]

I do this all the time. I think of all these awesome projects or ideas, but will never start it until I brainstorm and plan out how to make it perfect. Which usually takes a really long time or me realizing I'm not good enough to do it.

[@hardrok312]

You're awesome Frank James, I absolutely love your videos. I am an INFJ, Empath, Heyoka, scapegoated black sheep. So if you can imagine what that'd be like, then you'd be imagining me. LOL. I'm so dyslexic when I try to explain anything of importance so I've been working on a book, if you know any good editors let me know. Hit me up on Facebook, if you find me as interesting as I do to you. 😘

[@2esquared]

You are so right Frank- the ideas and thoughts and especially dreams in my head are so fantastic and perfect that I never get to do them, I don't even take a first step. It's very frustrating.

[@celestianaluna9578]

"It's a perfect idea cause it's not real." - Frank James That one hit me hard!

[@ireneedmonds4712]

Damn I had to watch this video twice

[@limealishuss]

Literally why I'm single, childless, and going to die alone. Two thumbs up!

[@FrankJames]

This made me laugh so much because it's like something I would write

[@-csotanypure-5106]

Hi, you said all my fears do we know each other? :D

[@anninazuber7715]

Yep, same :D

[@yajnialla641]

How about you hide your infj and got a girlfriend. Without telling her that you were an infj because you did not know it 10 years ago, got married and had a child. Girlfriend turned wife and notices you have the symptoms of infj, decided to leave you with your child. Now you are alone, watched this video, identified you are an infj and realized that you are not the one who is experiencing this amazing gift.

[@jasminemariedarling]

Yep. Half the time I can't even leave a comment on a video because of over thinking.

[@jasminemariedarling]

hieuwey Lol thanks, I think? Checked out your channel, nice! I love watching other INFJs!!!

[@kellylaher7512]

me too!

[@bloominwild7]

Me too but I do get it done quite a lot of the times...just takes me like 30 minutes lol

[@dew3422]

I thought I'm the only one 😂😂

[@recoveringsoul755]

Jasmine Marie I tend to leave really Loooooooong comments. I need to tell a whole long story. Sometimes I'll have the urge to comment, realize how long it would take, and just go Nope, And keep my fingers shut.

[@bbsizzlegirl54]

As a fellow INFJ: When I listen to you talk, I feel like I’m listening to myself talk about myself. Your monologues literally feel like exactly how my brain works when I’m extroverting the feels.

[@yazajag]

@cheri moya Same here, I thought the exact same thing. It was like listening to a psychic and I even said many of these things to myself this week.

[@melanyancat5687]

Same

[@mikeychungus2229]

Good luck writing any kind of academic paper as an INFJ. It's a real struggle.

[@emdiap]

😔

[@91splamy]

I feel you! I sucked at that part of school.

[@ItsTooLatetoApologize]

Not even to save my life. 😭

[@CarissaJenkins]

omg honestly!!

[@yumnatyer901]

This. Oh my word.

[@jpedrovianna]

It feels like we are friends and you've made this video for me. I have been struggling with the INFJ Perfectionist Paralysis for my whole life... It gets worse when I'm depressed... When I'm depressed It feels like I just want to ignore everything and everyone and I just want to stay in my bed for the whole day.​

[@bebekeykey]

Yes, me too!!

[@Bubbles-ug3vr]

I swear I’ve never related moreeee! Yessssss this is exactly how i ammmm

[@osamatahir1149]

Damn! it’s like I am seeing myself in the mirror this words resembles me .men I feel u just take it easy

[@melanie.l6282]

Me too!! i worry all the time i am going to make a fool of myself and it terrorize me!! it's so hard...................this perfectionist part of me makes me hate me because i am not perfect the world is not perfect..................;so how can i make perfect stuff??

[@evalaylatusstatistik1710]

Disconnected from the world

[@swish6754]

So, while I no longer worry about perfectionism, I do procrastinate a lot. Is procrastination perfectionism's ugly cousin? Hmmm, I thought I was past perfectionism. Is procrastination a passive aggressive form of perfectionism? I have Perfectionism Paralysis Procrastination Passive Aggressiveness :-) Shit, so much for being older and wiser.

[@FrankJames]

Ha ha, yeah I think you're right about procrastination being the ugly cousin. It's like perfectionism affects things you want to do, but procrastination affects the things you *have* to do. Hmmm I may make a video about it...

[@recoveringsoul755]

Frank James We want it to be perfect, but we know it won't ever be perfect, so not only do we procrastinate, sometimes we don't bother even trying because we know we will fail. Several years ago I heard the perfectionist and procrastination put together into a made up word like Spork: It's Procrastifectionist.

[@Viking102938]

Procrastination is the apathetic result of perfectionism. It sounds something like "even if it comes out the way I want it, I probably wont like it, anyway." If perfectionism is a form of anxiety related to results, procrastination is a form of depression linked to the method, Perfectionism says "you must be this tsll to ride", whereas procrastination says "the ride probably isnt that funanyway". I think theres a tendency to be hard on ourselves, because theres this public pressure to do something that means something to others (and Im not saying that as a bad thing, but we live in a culture, i feel, thats a little too ready to see the results of your efforts, while shunning the smell of persperation -- we have the term"try hard" in Western culture thats the perfect example of how engrained this is in most minds). Procrastination is the sound of a well running dry -- you dont feel inspired, but pressured, the tick-tock of passing life-moments spurring you on. My advice? Dont double down on the guilt, but look for what legitimately inspires you. Get a little Ne and explore some concepts, rather than just trying to hit the bullseye. Doodle, dont draw Tinker, but dont invent And when you find something that wakes you up in the middle of the night and leaves you unable to falla asleep again, thats when you know youve hit the spring at the bottom of the well.

[@AmyLouiseYT]

Recovering Soul I am pretty sure I have that.... all the time. It's frustrating

[@Anonymous-lt4jk]

I know. I really dont want to grow up. Literally right now this is all too much like I have deadlines and might have to start a job and literally I'm afraid of like doing anything because of all this. It's the worst and currently I dont even know how to speak to like my best friend in the whole world because shes thinking I'm crazy coz I just wanan talk to her but everything I say is never liek right

[@danniinnab]

Damnnnn this is legitimately describing my life. I always just considered myself a lazy perfectionist, because I wouldn't even try to go for my ideas but this is definitely why. My expectations are just too high that I dont even want to try because itll never be as perfect as what I envisioned. I love this channel!!

[@rmm2370]

INFJ writer here. Had to pause this every half-minute because everything was so ridiculously on point.

[@aliciag6973]

Same😂

[@fayz-dayz]

Me too😫😭

[@bon80]

Loser here

[@yndygo2660]

oh mY GOD SAME. I KEPT CREDITING IT TO WRITERS BLOCK BUT IM JUST AN INFJ BISH

[@lauram8973]

Yes, this is why writing is cathartic and excruciatingly painful.

[@sophiecastle4674]

"better done than perfect" was my first small step towards leaving perfectionism behind!

[@jlmadd]

I left it behind too

[@laraoneal7284]

I call it analysis paralysis.

[@rainofcali]

Lara O'neal Ralph Smart does you mean

[@ireneedmonds4712]

Oh my god I freaking love this, I'm using this. FJ needs some merch w this fr

[@melissachappell1320]

I think the problem lies in translating the FEELINGS into words

[@CarissaJenkins]

this!!!

[@weirdmargaret8659]

INFP messy perfectionist. I start projects and get frustrated and give up 5 hours in because I feel like I'm a talent-less piece of trash. I always say I will come back to them later and i never do.

[@JAMBERJ]

Same

[@randymossfan9883]

Lmaoooo

[@titaniumtiara4573]

This is me. Gotta fight against this sh*t. Fail forward and all that. We need to be humble and allow ourselves to look stupid, silly, a failure, be judged by others, grt rid of false pride...

[@domedweller4202]

Progression not perfection. I still struggle with this. 🌹

[@TheCloverAffiliate12]

Angel blessings Now that you mention it, I had a therapist tell me almost the exact same thing: "Progress, NOT Perfection. Take One Step at a Time. BREATHE." (Stylized how she wrote it.) I'm getting it as a tattoo to help with coping. Thank you for the reminder.

[@domedweller4202]

Glad I was able to remind you.I was thinking of painting this on a piece of wood.Progression Not Perfection.😌

[@TheCloverAffiliate12]

Angel blessings I could definitely see that~

[@joubinha333]

Thank you for outlining the exact reason I have never made a video... Fe tells me to do it, Ni knows it would inevitably suck and not be perfect, and Ti gets out of it by being overwhelmed with the thought of editing.

[@kellylaher7512]

joubinha333 your explanation is perfect!

[@bebekeykey]

Yasssss!!! Completely this comment. 110%

[@jlryder97]

Ha! Also aptly explains why my living room looks the way it does. Unrealistic goal for tonight: clean living room. Ni/Ti loop I'm about to enter: Blade Runner 2049. Again.

[@joubinha333]

jlryder97 Sometimes I have to invite someone over just to give myself enough motivation to clean. Lol

[@kellylaher7512]

joubinha333 🤣🤣🤣🤣Yes!

[@enso496]

Fellow coke cancer boi here. I got this quote in exchange for your quote: "What nobody tells people who are beginners… is that all of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, and it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not… your taste is why your work disappoints you… We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this… It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions." Ira Glass

[@mbw6785]

enso that’s awesome

[@redburningfires]

It's the first couple of years that I would love to skip, so I could be at the accomplished level of doing artwork. I'll think on this.

[@thejungianastrologer]

wow thanks... INFJ PhD student here. Writer’s block everyday

[@lillimarl2022]

Do you have any methods that help you with this? I am still an undergrad, but thinking about doing a phd sometime in the future and sometimes I am so afraid I will destroy all my potential :(

[@thejungianastrologer]

@@lillimarl2022 a PhD, if you chose a field aligned with your soul, could only illuminate your potential

[@lillimarl2022]

@@thejungianastrologer Thank you, I think I did, I am studying history

[@InvadableHarmony]

I love your butchered quote haha I totally agree with everything you've said. INFJs should embrace their greatness and just keep moving forward. "Done is better than passable" 👌

[@Bellasie1]

I actually liked the "butchered" quote better than the original one, it felt perfectly ;-) concise.

[@alliemw]

All. Day. Long. ANALYSIS PARALYSIS is the phase my therapist used. I have so many projects I've thought of that I wear myself out planning them in my mind. This goes on and on and on...the research, the order of the steps, the sudden tightness in my chest, the nausea in my stomach, I'm so tired now, I need to lie down. Tomorrow, I'll start tomorrow.

[@uyentbj]

U literally just described my life 😂

[@lalakuma9]

I'm an INFP but a lot of things you're saying are really similar to what I experience. I also tend to develop and try to perfect concepts in my own head, and afraid to bring them to reality because I'm afraid they won't be like how I imagined them. I often feel not ready to express them, and when I do, they turn out to still be abstract blobs. I guess maybe the main difference is in how Ne, as opposed to Ni, form the ideas in the first place, because I tend to bounce around in my mind to gather knowledge and experiences (often blurry) that would support my ideas. I've always had a difficult time understanding what Ni and Ti exactly are, and your recent videos help explain a lot! But at the same time I'm sort of confused with how INFPs and INFJs have such similar experiences when they don't share a single main cognitive function.

[@Kim44422]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hXqriJiVlpV0pac Leon (INFP) explained that very well...

[@ohnoproblemchild]

It's like you're talking to me directly. Thanks for your videos, they make so much sense to me and make me feel a bit better about myself knowing I'm not the only one who feels and experiences things this way

[@aveuch]

I love (the idea of) you.

[@almostafarm6394]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@madridejosryuchan]

I have been told exactly that by a former boyfriend. He said he wants to marry someone like me, but not me. My world crashed when he said that. 😔

[@marktravels9601]

I have been told that too. She said that I was in love with the " idea of her ". I didn't understand it at the time. I do now.

[@ireneedmonds4712]

I had to cackle at this one lol

[@sliverhalo9286]

This is the most accurate thing ever

[@ruisenor8993]

I'm almost crying. I can't believe you understand me so well. I'm a writer too and I've definitely experienced this. I like to tell people that I have genius ideas and terrible execution of them. I also compose music and sometimes it's even worse. I've only ever finished one piece of music and when I showed it to the orchestra teacher at my school to see if the Philharmonic orchestra would play it he was completely unimpressed. I was crushed. I've definitely been feeling paralyzed because of my perfectionism for a long while now. I'm trying to stop, but it's hard--I feel worthless when what's on the paper doesn't match what's in my brain. If you could just look into my head and see all that's in there--it would be so beautiful, so perfect... But instead I'm mediocre.

[@Kathryn4268]

Thank you for posting this, I am going to show it to my daughter who is very bright and capable but has mild Aspergers and really struggles with Perfectionist Paralysis and Social anxiety as well as generalized anxiety, which leads to depression, I have mentioned your videos to her and hope she is watching because I really think you are very encouraging. I am very curious to see if she is an INFJ type or maybe INTP because there are so many things that seem like a description of her. She has all the lovely traits as well.

[@shyinsomniac]

This resonates so deeply within me. This is a huge problem I have and why I've been stuck in the same place for the past few years. I will start something, and not finish it or throw it away because it isn't the perfect thing I imagined.

[@vizuz]

This INFJ perfectionism is a strange thing. Like you said, part of it is fear that reality is not going to line up with your own vision. But I noticed in myself that, at the same time, that there is also a fear that reality is actually exactly going to manifest as I envisioned it. Like a double-edged cluster fuck, lol. It is because I think that us Ni-users we actually want our reality to kind of line-up with our visions, but not perfectly, because that would be boring. And there would be nothing else to do when we do actually achieve what we set out to achieve. We actually do need that friction of reality, even though in our minds we initially do not like that friction at all. You gotta embrace it. Set your aim point and let it roll, have fun in seeing life throw you curve balls. And have fun in trying to catch them, and don't be too discouraged when you miss a few. Life would be so boring if every ball thrown at you was perfectly straight and exactly how you want them to be thrown. Just don't be so harsh on yourself. Life really isn't trying to screw you over, it's trying to give you a challenge. Something to play with.

[@lee1612k2]

Awesome

[@ebsebs8512]

This makes so much sense. I can't do the things I want because I think that it's going to hurt me if I try and fail so I am left with lots of ideas and dreams and i can't start the action process. I hate it so much! I made lots of mistakes in the past by trying and it hurt really bad. And now, I can't even start because I remember how it hurt and I am scared! There's this constant dilemma in my life and I can't get out of this loop! I am learning though.. learning myself and who I am more. That really really helps! Thank you!

[@katiegrant2482]

this is ME lmao. also I feel ya on the soda. it is so bad but tastes so good.

[@FrankJames]

sooo goooooood

[@knmonlinemedia]

my vice is pepsi zero (or diet pepsi if i can't find it). i shouldn't touch the stuff but it tastes awesome

[@mandanicole6294]

This is meee. I have all these ideas but I never even attempt, because I have such high expectations. These expectations cause a lot of self doubt, to the point that I just feel paralyzed. I even struggle with day to day things like cleaning my house. Things become so overwhelming that I just give up and kind of ignore and isolate. I'm also afraid of failure, so just this video makes sooo much sense to me.

[@kiana1337]

Hey Frank, I just wanna say that I do enjoy your videos. Watching them makes me feel like I'm weirdly understood. This is probably one of my fav vids of yours.. only coz Perfectionist Paralysis is something that I suffer most in my daily life. Also, there's nothing much for me to say bout the vid itself, only because I agree with everything you've said. Thanks again and I'm looking forward for the next one. Good day. :)

[@taylorrae8832]

Imperfect completion is better than incomplete perfection. It’s a hard lesson to learn in theory and even more so in practice. But I will say that seeing the end result, despite how poorly executed it may be, does feel so rewarding.

[@Stevo1361]

Your insight into infjs is incredible. When you started talking about delaying action to learn and then achieve a goal for “10/20 years” to tackle it when you’re better skilled or knowledgeable, i was dumbfounded. It is a terrible habit that has in some ways helped me achieve but im sure has held me back even more. Action and failure are probably even more important than absorbing knowledge. You can only learn so much by listening and reading, when you start putting it into action is when class really begins.

[@crrnan_thrr_brrbrrrianrock9092]

It's been hard for me, why I'm not very social, watching the news drains my internal battery, I didn't realize this until yesterday when I watched the news before work. So much dispair and terrible people on this planet my brain just keeps firing and firing trying to figure out why, it doesn't stop. When my brain begins to try and rationalize the negativity I experience it doesn't stop until I'm exhausted. I had a major headache all night and had a rough sleep. I finally understand why I always try to find the silver lining and why I hate negativity, it's drains me. I'm going to look into talking to a therapist. Again, thanks so much for this. I promise no more text walls!

[@JulietteTLin]

the greatest thing i've heard in terms of writing is "the worst thing you've ever written is better than the best thing you've never written" which I always keep in the back of my mind to remind myself just the act of creating itself is so important, but yet again, my infj perfectionist paralysis prevents me from doing so. glad to hear you finished writing your novel!

[@MyHealingShelf]

Thank you for this! I now have an actual line for when people ask me out and I am totally uninterested, "I'm sorry, no. I don't want to go out with you. I am an INFJ and you don't live up to my imagination. Thank you though, I appreciate the thought."

[@angiesoundtick]

Thank you so much FJ, KZbin suggested this video, and I'm so thankful to learn more about INFJ's with your videos.🧡

[@alisiaknoll7052]

“Little did I know I was in fact butchering the quote” had me choking on my salad hahaha

[@magnoliaflower3310]

You totally hit the nail on the head with this topic about perfection. I have an idea of how to make this amazing cake. But once I tried executing it, it doesn't look anywhere close to what I imagine in my head. It still taste good, but ... The description about perfect mate is so accurate. Thank you for putting my thoughts into words.

[@amyw.251]

Frank! Finding you on KZbin has been a Godsend. Kismet. Nirvana. Whatever. It's been REALLY HELPFUL SO DO NOT STOP DOING THESE VIDEOS, PLEASE!! You verbalize my thinking. You talk about things that matter deeply to me. You make me realize that there are other people in the world who think, feel, and process life in ways that are like my ways. Thank you for helping me know that I am not alone in my perception of this world. Keep up this good work! You're doing a great job!

[@carahoglund5266]

Oh, honey. Just found your videos and channels recently. As an INFP with a whole bunch of traditional academic training, I get it. Thanks for sharing.

[@ginawhoever9734]

story of my life. even though Carl Jung never actually identified this kind of state as an actual Archetype in itself, i found it very helpful to do so on my own. The Imperfect Paralysis Archetype (i see it as a man sitting on the floor with a perfect picture in his mind, looking down at the very imperfect object of it in his hands). people so often think i am the epitome of laziness because of this. i have come up with so many ideas for short stories/writing but because i must have every detail worked out in my imagination/mind first i wont get to the first page... but i may tell someone about it and they will say "are you crazy that is an awesome idea just fraking do it!". i will paint 10 paintings and trash like 9 of them every time over simple things like a color not drying the way i wanted it. and when i had more friends, they would often say "i want that one!" just so i wouldnt throw it away... Frank, you really do a good job explaining the metaphors INFJ's see in life that make it difficult for others to communicate well. and you also do a good job painting an image of certain Archetypes that INFJ's gravitate to. though i notice you don't seem to mention them in that way... do you ever listen to Jung talk about the Archetypes at all? i know i mention them a lot, but it is because they have helped me so much. also Frank, i am terribly sorry if my *grammar* disturbs you... hahahahaha. but i have severe neck damage and have for years and it has really messed the nerves/nervous system all down my arms and in my hands... i cant keep up typing with what my mind is giving me to say because it makes my hands and fingers go numb/tingly, and just really weak. it also gave me heart failure which can make it harder to focus, but i don't see it as some awful thing so no feeling bad from anyone *please*?

[@elnightwolf]

It's like when you think about that delicious bread you ate at that italian place and feel how good it tastes, but have no idea how to make it. Same with ideas, you just feels how good/perfect it is in your head, but have no idea how to actually make it real. You know

[@lindsaycarlson2986]

"That's the only way to get the perfection, ironically, is to go through the imperfection." Love it!!!

[@mistybeethoven3630]

Ha ha ha! I am a notorious perfectionist and I wrote a novel too and it was ghastly! Really diabolical tripe! But after my initial disappointment, I thought to myself “Hey I wrote a novel! It’s bad but that’s pretty awesome that I wrote it!” Passable, even crappy, can be better than good - I agree whole heartedly. This was an intensely inspirational video for me Frank! I know I am on the right path now and I get your message 100%. Thank you so much, chuffed to bits!

[@Milothatch17]

As a fellow INFJ, I'd gladly buy your draft and would probably find it beautiful. We usually shy away from releasing what we write because we find it crappy as perfectionists when, in reality, it's probably very decent and enjoyable.

[@kevincoffee3238]

Yep. I never write fiction. Wrote a short story, thought it sucked, stuck it on the shelf. Always remembered it. Ten years later, re-read it, damn, it's quite good. Imagine that. Way better than I remember.

[@lexisage9432]

I just found your channel today but holy shit i would order your book in an instant. Fellow INFJ here, had no idea there was Myers Briggs people on the Tube! I will be binging for days. Thanks for being willing to put your perspective into the world since most of us are too terrified to do it ourselves. 💚

[@FrankJames]

Dang, I gotta get that book finished so you can buy it, ha ha. Thanks for watching and commenting!

[@eireannleigh4963]

The Perfectionism is the immature or unrealistic attitude behind a rigid approach to life. Although it can sometimes be a fuel towards uncompromising vision seen through to realisation or activated manifestation, it may more often risk rendering the creator into a paralysis and stay stuck into a limited limbo of the theoretical. It may very well be a beautiful and sincerely and genuinely preference or vision, however, in over-fastidutude, it equates to nothing being created in the outside shared world, and hinders more than helps. Then before you know it, you're a middle aged still-self-proclaimed recovering-perfectionist, who has finally woken up, only to realise that they've spent all their formative and prospective years and decades, having half lived, and only in the astral... Noticing how their 'being uncompromising of one's vision' *didn't* get exactly help them and their dreams anywhere.. Only blindly shackling one to sit on the fence one's entire life, in a dream of eternal indecision, never tackling head on the negotiation between the petty pipe dream preferences of the hypothetical, and the other side: the place of both accepting and committing to what is, in this world, and to finally opening one of the still-open wonderful doors ~ taking some active steps to dare to live in all it's imperfection as is ~ To living life more fully... Good luck to all us INFJ's, and everyone...

[@futuristica1710]

That really hit hard. I’m 51, INFJ, and … half-lived 😢

[@eireannleigh4963]

@@futuristica1710 All good, Welcome to the club. FWIW: Now is always the time for opening the mind and accepting ones agency and commitment to greater active living and intentional acting. Ive read how procrastination is a function of depression, yet overgeneralsations never helps: There are plenty of reasons folks tend to avoid or put off one task or project beyond another. Ie: the TCM perspective, that someone just needs to tone the spleen for grounding to maximize their decision making abilities, or a subconscious choice to put offe a harder task in order to accomplish lighter or simpler ones first, etc... I friend of mine pass a book along to me, about Living ones Life Fully... Because I was expressing this very thing that year.... I never managed to read it, because shortly thereafter, that very season, I fulfilled some of my greatest dreams and wishes for my life. And the rollercoaster of this only has time enough to harken back to that crossroads. I wish I had more of the time I used to, yet with greater agency built in to life for me well these days,, automatically, I trust and intend the agency to help me carve time and space out to accomplish equally great things in service for the many. ... Perhaps the time is always now, for all :)!

[@SilvieMesen]

I have become addicted to your videos. Not sure yet if it your eyes, the understanding of who I am through the light your throw on this subject or just my shadow projecting on you in general. I am a Christian, and in the process of spiritual growth (or the transformation of one's self into the spirit of Christ), I felt my personality was changing, so I started to research a bit on behavioral psychology, personality types, etc. and thank God, it's been a relief to understand that this "change" I thought was happening is just reaching the balance between the dominant and recessive traits, which is also very interesting , the thing is that I am starting to find peace by a deeper understanding of this aspect Christianity, which most christians don't even question nor talk about. :)

[@StephanieDouglassMusic]

I love this and it rings very true, especially to how I used to be when I was in my very early 20s. (I even wrote a song about writing songs that was like, "What if the world could hear it all, before I was ready for the world to hear it all?") I have to say I appreciate my position as an educator, where I teach the same lesson 4 or 8 times in a week. By the 8th time around, I've worked through all the kinks in delivering the lesson. By the following year, everyone gets a great lesson. On the flip side, my perfectionism completely paralyzed me when I came back to work at the end of March after a long health leave. My program was not what it was and I wasn't afforded the mental (or physical-no classroom) space to work through how I could limp through the rest of the school year. One of the tools that has helped me immensely with the perfectionism paralysis is making music. (Sorry it's all I ever talk about.) Especially with other people. They are depending on me to do the job, and while it's great if it's perfect, it's still better than someone not sitting there playing the part. Thanks again for a great morning think sesh!

[@ani_n01]

Stephanie Douglass what broke your barrier in terms of writing and sharing it please help? I have a little trauma from my teenage years my mum would always find my poetry and say horrible things about it and I would end up feeling ashamed and judged for the way I think. I'm ashamed of way I form lines and progress with topic more than of content itself at this point. I'm thinking to start anonimus podcast to read /rap my things to people who don't know me, do you have any other ideas how to let go of.... Being ashamed of myself?

[@StephanieDouglassMusic]

Sharon is there Wow Sharon, I am so honored that you would ask my point of view on this subject. It is probably one of the hardest (if not THE hardest) feelings to shake and can take so many forms. I love that you are planning to broadcast your words, that's an important first step. Thinking about this only briefly, here are the two tools that stand out as helping me the most, and it just depends on what form the shameful feeling is taking. When it gets very bad and I start thinking negative things about *myself*, my job is to counter that with at least 3 things that are great about me so I can convince the mean voices that those thoughts just aren't true. When I get paralyzed with fear about honoring my *craft,* I remind myself that everything is a process and nothing is ever really "final." Your product is more of a snapshot of what you could express at the time. You can reliably improve as long as you take honest assessments of your growth. But there's nothing to assess if you don't have anything made. The beginning part is usually the most fun and exciting because you'll see big improvements, really quickly. Staying disciplined and committing to having *something* on a regular basis will reap deeper, intrinsic rewards. Best of luck! 💛💛💛

[@ani_n01]

Stephanie Douglass thank you so much for your answer it's so comforting to hear that someone understands... Can't share myself with people and can't live without that part of me either. Thank you so much again it's 7 am here, you inspired me to be productive today. Best of luck with your work🌹💜

[@eireannleigh4963]

Dear Sharon is there, Good for you!!!

[@kimpastabowl1058]

Eireann Leigh If we don’t listen to criticism then how can we grow? I heard an interesting perspective on this from Jordan Peterson. The example was say your dad full on yells at you, telling you everything you’ve done wrong. 90% was wrong and harsh but 10% was true and that’s why it stung so much. If we strive to pursue the truth and grow, I think we’ll all live more fulfilled lives and be able to better help others accomplish the same. 💫

[@janetlomax2295]

This is why we need to live 300yrs ... we can spend 150yrs making all the mistakes...and the next 150yrs we do all the excellent things that we get perfect...💚💜❤🧡💙💛

[@stevenbakos]

Yes!!!!!! Never get it off the ground because we lack everything we need in order to make into the perfection in our mind! Every.damn.day.......

[@thisisnotmyrealname6046]

I don't know if it means anything to you, but I think you have the most calming voice I've ever heard.

[@addictedtojack]

FJ you are so cute 😁 Hugs from a lazy, perfectionistic, messy weirdo INFJ!

[@xrockangelx]

XNFP here. I do the perfectionist paralysis thing, too. It drives me crazy sometimes because I feel like I need to keep doing things to keep growing and being productive in creative ways, but when I get stuck in this state of constantly invisioning/imagining and preparing for this, that, or the other thing I want to do, I eventually just start feeling frustratingly stagnant, boring, and like I'm failing. I really just wanted to say that I love George Harrison, though, and I appreciated spotting "All Things Must Pass" on your bed behind you (on vinyl, no less). So props, I guess, haha. ✌️

[@kimpastabowl1058]

Noreen Pitts XNFP??

[@spacecat5517]

In high school, took a shops class which was incredibly stressful. Part of it was a machine class where I was making a waterproof match container. Drove the teacher insane with questions, kept going over the procedure while most of the class was half done. My teacher: just start and try!!!! 😂

[@DarkBlueNutrition]

Ugh this both helps and cuts deep because it’s so true. Last year I FINALLY got over my fear of starting my own KZbin channel despite knowing my first several videos wouldn’t live up to my own standards... but since the beginning of this year my depression and perfectionism has taken a toll once again and I feel myself finding excuses to not create because I don’t feel worthy of giving advice or creating videos because of my post-grad school, quarter life crisis-y depression. Done is better than perfect, keeping this in mind ❤️ Thank you!!!

[@GH-vu4qm]

Two of the greatest writers were believed to be INFJs: Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. Once INFJs can express their ideals on paper, they can delve so deeply into human behavior and experience. Looking forward to you finishing your book!

[@teresatriumph2780]

Thanks for your videos Frank, they're healing. I appreciate the experience that I am not alone in these ways of functioning in life. Perfectionist paralysis, overthinking, analysis paralysis, thinking and behaving in a loop, big picture necessity but yet questioning every single minor detail of life, and everything is pondering toooooo looong on the "but why?" like a 6 year old, isolation, depression, nagging thoughts, loop, loop, loop, edit, edit, edit ((sigh)) aha ha. Mistakes are my friend. The most annoying friend that makes me a better person every time they invite themselves to hang out.

[@teresatriumph2780]

candice m. I learn the best that way ✌🏻

[@anewlifeforme231]

Kinda random, but do any of you guys clench your jaw tight and grind your teeth at night? I thought it was from caffeine but not anymore.

[@futuristica1710]

Yup. My dentist prescribed me a night guard.

[@vinaarie]

Thanks for this, I've been getting through bitterness paralysis, this video helps me with moving on, 🙏💕 FJ

[@wildanfirdaus1342]

OMG!!!! SO Freaking related! Like finally I found someone that can articulating what's in my mind and the good thing is find its reasons!! Thx frank for making this video

[@aquilathered8444]

That's why my art career never took off! My ideas are so lofty I never get it started in the first place! This whole time I just thought I was a loser lol. But I now know I have a better purpose and commenting here is making me realize other potentials.

[@aquilathered8444]

When I always think it's not good enough it blows everyone else's mind so there's to it but to do it! Believing in myself is the worst. Planning isn't even integral in what I do I'm best on the fly

[@spacecat5517]

Ohhh can you read an exerpt from your book?

[@amjPeace]

Lauren Sapala has written a book that might help you over the perfectionism hurdle among other stumbling blocks to your book. It is called The INFJ Writer. Quite a gem of a book whose insights can be applied to other areas of your life as well! Good luck!

[@sammyj1183]

This video has left me speechless. ¡Maravilloso! 👌🏼

[@stevethea5250]

0:39 this dodgy text was imperfectly perfect for this video!

[@wendyraye]

I love the saying “done is better than passing.” I can use this when I have to write reports at work- I will rewrite something 10 times when the reality is that it doesn’t matter because the people “auditing it will tell me how they want it worded. (Edited 3 times.)

[@amandagraves3024]

I'm so glad I found you, I have literally brought my life to a hault because I'm so scared of having to live "perfectly". Once I learned who I was just recently, INFJ it makes me feel like I want to live again.i feel your wisdom. We want to touch people on a level no one can reach with our wisdom. A lot of getting stuck for me is just the overwhelming and exhausting effort it would take to create the perfect whatever it is you are wishing to do.

[@Wolfsings1]

I've had so many ideas I have lost count, and, I just might use that term to tell myself, being done is better than perfect. (LOL) I want to write, draw, sing, and dance about the Human Condition. You have my admiration to even do your vlogs. BTW you do a most excellent work with your vlogs.

[@dragonfly33is]

So glad I found you. P squared...hilarious 😂 New INFJ fellow subscriber here.

[@k.d.4030]

Why are you so charming? 😂💘💘💘

[@olivialovhagen391]

I know exactly what you mean by perfectionism. I’m highly imaginative and creative, but I struggle getting what’s in my mind onto paper. I like your hair much better like this .

[@openrealm]

"Done is better than passable." This is like divine knowledge right now and what I need to realize. Thanks so much.

[@cirumutura1843]

Oh wow....!! I have been called a perfectionist all my life but here you really define our INFJ perfectionism like I've never heard it and it completely describes me - I have a ton of ideas I've never implemented because they are still perfect as ideas and become not very good ideas when I start to roll them out and then just abandon... or table them for later. Great stuff Frank - thanks for giving me a place to feel understood - finally!!

[@me00775566]

"It's a perfect idea because it's not real." me irl

[@bobbyclark6116]

Been trying to write something for 40 years, the perfectionism caused by the imperfection I see is now easier understood. I think it's not because I can't express my idea, it's that the idea looks so small written down. There seems no context, no vision of what's going on where you're not focussed sort of thing. The only writing I kept after school was a few years ago when I wrote a series of recurring dreams just as they appeared to me. It was so satisfying.

[@jennypi]

When we allow ourselves to "fail" we begin to no longer fear it -- and that is when we become truly free. Also, this quote: "There is no such thing as failure, only feedback." Also, I'm a perfectionist and used to see it as a curse, but have slowly learned to tame it. I have "failed" many times and have grown the most from those experiences. I still don't like the feeling, but am not afraid of it as much because i know there's always a golden nugget of wisdom being imparted. I say, bring it. I want all the golden nuggies. Also, thank you for your golden nug.

[@glorias.5220]

holy shit. i feel so called out right now. this is literally why i have tons of brainstorming documents, even fully detailed story plot lines for books i want to write. but i never actually write them, or i start writing them and i'm so hypercritical of them that i give up. wow. maybe this video will help me realize when i'm doing this and hopefully learn to move past it so i can keep going?? or at least now i'm aware that's what i'm doing...

[@OhemaaOduro]

"The only way to get to the perfection is to go through the imperfection" I love that. Thanks!

[@michelledavis6293]

Oh my goodness think Perfectionism is the hardest part of being an INFJ! It’s so hard to change this way of thinking! And stop the anxiety! I don’t wanna make mistakes. But I do like what you said about doing is better than not doing... not sure if I can do that lol but I like it!

[@kimberlyhamel8936]

Frank, your INFJ videos are the only ones that really resinate with me. Thank you so much for these, it honestly makes me feel like I’m not alone 💜

[@Cassy858]

omggg im literally trying to break out of this loop im in and your videos are really helping me. i get so paralyzed before i even try.

[@vivalarach3929]

This is beyond spot on. This is the best explanation of what it really is like to go through it. I'm constantly working on just doing it and trying to get out of my head. Progress not perfection has been my mantra for the past two years.

[@t.anderson6069]

I feel you. I always thought that my dissertation would have been great if written by someone else.

[@shaunekaiser1695]

You spoke my life. Thank you so much. This is helping me a lot. I’m a writer, always under a pseudonym as the attention would kill me, but my best ideas and plots actually never make it onto paper. I tell my INTP husband the stories and he loves it, but when it comes to bringing them to life on paper, I am so super respectful of the characters I created, that I feel I can do neither them nor their story justice. I’m going to start right now. I wish I were as wise as you obviously are at a young age, but it is never too late to learn. Thank you.

[@annland781]

This is what's going on with me?! I've been trying to figure out this weirdness for years. Ugh.. Thank you.

[@sharonjessen]

Frank, you make me laugh! What you say in this video is so true of me too. In my mind I'm a writer. However, I can't seem to get an idea together long enough to formulate an outline. Kudos to you for getting your first draft done. I have watched videos and read advice from writers who actually write and they say the first draft is usually a POS and they rewrite many times before they have something written that is moderately close to what they want. Don't despair. I suggest you go back to it again when you are ready and work on it some more. Is your book an INFJ comedy too? LOL

[@laurakmetko5400]

Got that! I Write songs with melodies I can barely sing. Maybe write for others then eh? Anything that overcomes that infj perfectionist is a victory in my books!

[@mikewalker4260]

I recently discovered that I am an INFJ and also recovering perfectionist lol.

[@evy6887]

Oh- this explains why my hubs & I joke that I have no hobbies! I pick up things to dabble in but let them go knowing I'll never be able to accomplish The Thing to the degree I imagine. Thank you for explaining this concept! It helps to name it to work through it.

[@ecegulsan9707]

I guess i'm in love with you🙈

[@recoveringsoul755]

Ece Gülşan I think what might be happening with everyone who says they love him, is that they love themselves, and they see themselves in him. As rare as INFJ's are, I don't expect I will ever meet one in real life, or I might not recognize them. Good thing I'm old enough to be his mother, but he is adorable.

[@racheldahliamusic]

All us girls are. And none of us stand a chance lmao.

[@ontolog5871]

@@racheldahliamusic I am too, and I'm not even gay or bi 🤔

[@kylejohnson8302]

Damn. I thought it was just me.

[@truere4lity]

@@recoveringsoul755 Mother, you have explained exactly why I love Frank so much. I used to wonder why I love to watch his videos just to hear him talk, while simultaneously learning about myself more. Now I realise it is because I'm an INFJ, like him, and it feels like it is myself explaining myself to myself!

[@fikaindriyanti7926]

been watching your videos for long time and it really entertains and fulfilling what my sould been questioning all this time. i'm also grateful for you bcs when i watched your videos i feel like im not the only type of species who feel this complicated feelings and overanalyzing something, you too always try to give alternative solving to this infjs issue..well maybe will not always suit everyone but it really helped me to think way better.. so..thank you from a very bottom of my heart😭 God bless you!

[@fikaindriyanti7926]

i' working on my thesis proposal it get rejects and i need to revise it a lot of times. before i stumble upon this video i was feeling like "should i just quit" bcs i feel real tired of trying hard for Godsake.. but then after watching this i kind of get the feeling to keep the good job and keep steady mind to what i just started..thank youu😭

[@spleenog]

Why, why, whyyyyyy...are you drinking battery acid? 😩☹️

[@narcsinart7179]

battery acid has a ph below 1 , cola is around 2 and a half

[@recoveringsoul755]

Celine And aluminum is found in the brains of dementia patients (post mortem of course). I drink water, or tea, sometimes coffee with hot chocolate i a reuseable thermal mug. Actually I drink distilled water because there isn't fluoride in there.

[@racheldahliamusic]

Cos sugar is far more toxic than artificial sweeteners.

[@mbw6785]

Because all my batteries are good and this shit has a use-by date

[@maristellaw3110]

'done is better than perfect' Damn those are some soothing words

[@pearlpaz3937]

you are a very eloquent speaker :-) I hope you will make a video about our inferior function (Se) since nobody really talks about it and I want to understand how Se works in us and thank you for making videos... it makes me feel being completely understood...

[@ElusvOptmst1]

@Jam Paz You need to checkout Bo Miller, another INFJ. He explains a lot about Se and how it works for us INFJs.

[@pearlpaz3937]

thank you :)

[@cc-wn8yb]

Totally get this. It feels like pushing a huge boulder up a mountain getting the idea from my brain and onto the paper whether art or writing or whatever. I like to think about how I can extrovert my ideas that's cool. It is messy I agree, and its ok to make mistakes. Thanks

[@melizabeth623]

GEEZ this is like every story idea I come up with! Most of my stories never, ever get written. Writer. You're a writer. Actually, to be honest, I almost prefer a ton of edits. It breaks the video up in appropriate portions (at least you do). Also, I'm a superfan of all (I say all, and I've watched maybe five of your videos) the music excerpts you put at the end of your videos. Classy. Oldschool.

[@deananightingale8197]

I can relate 100%. Thank you for all you do.😊