INFJ vs INFP: Different Struggles and Fears

[@majacleo862]

My mom: "You can´t take criticism well!" Me as an INFP: "Why is everyone criticising me? Why does everybody only see my imperfections? Why are you so critical in the first place?"

[@koala4996]

I feel like this a lot of the time as well. My mum is an ISTJ too so she finds plenty wrong with me XD

[@mouchi2]

@@koala4996 omg my Mum is istj as well. How has it been?

[@mirothe_melancholicdreamer4234]

"thats my life" 🎵

[@puppet9577]

Same and same. ISTJ mom.

[@mbatesxx]

Dude, YES 😫

[@kumamarru5492]

Me as an INFP: Throws phone at wall in a fit of rage Also me: Picks phone up, dusts it off, and apologizes to it.

[@shinobuss2620]

Infj: throws phone on the floor as hard as she can, then waits someone to get it for her Literally my sister, she’s infj

[@savagewaifu4694]

If you throw your phone at the wall you should probably get some mental help or learn self control

[@kumamarru5492]

@@savagewaifu4694 3 days straight of no sleep because of severe tooth pain will do that to you.

[@savagewaifu4694]

@@kumamarru5492 Bro, fix your teeth

[@playertoo9730]

my gosh ive apologized to trash for throwing it away this is so relatable

[@chewedupgum4989]

" why did you delete your text ? " INFJ : i messed up the grammar INFP : i felt like it was being mean to the other person :(

[@lilvamp8355]

* correcting * why did you delete your text: INFJ: bc i talked too much about myself. (we're not THAT practical man !)

[@chewedupgum4989]

@@lilvamp8355 as an INFP , i dont know much about INFJs , thanks for correcting me

[@lilvamp8355]

@@chewedupgum4989 it's ok :)

[@user-do2ls3jx3m]

You have no idea how many times I google basic English before typing something down.

[@isisphoebedenc.delsocorro7807]

As an "ISFP", I am just like that lol

[@helenadetroya9265]

I don't know, I'm an INFP, but everytime I have a problem I feel that is because I'm not enough or capable. I never put the blame on other people but myself

[@ellismoon]

same here

[@utkarsh3708]

Too much of self-blame is not good. Sometimes we should forgive ourselves. ☺

[@boi2805]

I think it doesn't really matter, just depends on the individual.

[@uwillneverknowwho5232]

Okay YES EXACTLY but like I am a person so I guess I'm blaming a person, but I'm not like,,, blaming people, just myself??

[@shantay11]

same.

[@Lifeletnothingholdudown]

Is true INFP's can ignore people but it's usually because we're over-stimulated and need to recharge.

[@yenneferL98]

That happens to me. Whenever I'm having a hard time in life and have a lot of thoughts I tend to not listen to others because I can't concentrate on my problems and theirs at the same time. And I always realise I'm doing that and I end up feeling really bad because I care about people, I just don't have the energy sometimes if all of my energy is spent on my problems.

[@bokononlives9071]

I think that's true, but I also think people tend to not be as forthcoming with their feelings as we (INFP's) are, and that can throw our powers of perception off. So it's not so much that we are ignoring what others think, we just need more details before we can truly consider/prioritize the importance of what they are saying, or more likely not saying. It's that lack of information that usually causes problems. And maybe we didn't get enough info because we were over-stimulated or too far in our head and we missed it lol. Or something like that...

[@EastmanEditing]

@@bokononlives9071 Yeah I agree. I can listen to people very well if they are willing to talk about their deepest darkest fears and worries, but I do have a habit of tuning out people who aren't as deep. Like, I cannot give relationship advice to anyone who doesn't know every possible thing about themselves already...I'm like, do you LIKE this person? And they're like, "I don't know..." how do you not know??!?! But it all makes sense now with this video. I always thought I was an INFJ until this exact moment. It's been 15 years that i've been living a lie...lol. And my first thought is, "oh no! What will everyone think of me when I tell them I'm actually not an INFJ?!?!"

[@ausernameiguess7058]

Eastman Editing yeah me too. I’m introspective to the point where it’s unhealthy. it’s like I know myself too deeply to know myself in the way others expect me to, if anyone knows what I mean. I do tend to resent people who ignore others or cancel plans because they need to recharge because I feel that they should be glad they have people to ignore or plans to cancel. For me I don’t really get mentally exhausted by listening to other people’s problems it’s just not as fulfilling. It’s also true about needing more details to work things out with people but when I give too many details it tends to throw them off.

[@Blueocean91115]

It always happened for INFP's. Till people can miss understood about what INFP's think. Cause so many things full of mind and INFP's just wan't to hurt anyone around them.

[@carrieugh1237]

INFP: WHY ARE PEOPLE ACTING LIKE THIS? INFJ: what causes people to act this way?

[@vindric8330]

I see the difference

[@gravy9218]

I'm an infp but especially now days I identify more with infj for this and some other factors. I'm trying to work out if this is just because of my obsession with psychology that makes me think this way

[@Kiwi-np3sy]

@@gravy9218 I’m an INFP, and I also think about “what causes people to act this way?” but tbh before that I think about “why are people acting like this” I also have an obsession with psychology and I also have an obsession with astrology too, lmao

[@xxevilellisonxx]

Philosophy beard on

[@scarletttttt]

@@Kiwi-np3sy exactly 😭😭

[@sarahs5340]

I love people, but I’m so sick of them😷 - infp

[@sept09am]

Sarah S lol

[@vaughnrob4548]

I love people and hate them at the same time. XD

[@WikaFILMY]

omg it's me

[@SherryOLN]

I love people, but I'm so sick of them. When I'm not sick of them, they're sick of me - INFP 👏🏻

[@Suzy292002]

LMAOOO THIS IS SO ACCURATE

[@fluffysugakookies9580]

for me, an INFJ I think of life as "If i do this then this will happen, so what can I do to avoid as much tension, issues, guilt and conflict as possible?"

[@Ziggy788]

That's so true

[@eveningyay6462]

I am an INFP and I sometimes recognize with INFJ experiences, just like this one. But of course, I am still an INFP. Is it because I somehow managed to learn thinking this way? For example by watching movies with INFJ characters, admiring them and subconsciously trying to mimic them? I am really confused

[@sarcadistic9762]

Have you checked out the enneagram? What you said sounds exactly like a type 9

[@viktoriajuhasz1419]

hi army i'm an infj too 🥺

[@spinocario9721]

Same man

[@joizz101]

What an INFP watching this hears: Frank: "You take things too personally." INFP: "No, I don't." Frank: "You just got defensive." INFP: "No, I didn't." Frank: "You just denied it didn't you?" INFP: "It's not true!" Frank: "Now your upset because you realise I'm right." INFP: "Fuck you Frank. Get out of my head."

[@MVPA-io5ee]

🤣🤣🤣

[@srambition]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@nelsonsousa9775]

I hate when people analyze me man, like for me its ok if i do it bc i feel i can help them if i do, but when they do it to me im like, STOP IT DUDE YOU MAKING ME FEEL NAKED, SHUT UP

[@Kiwi-np3sy]

@@nelsonsousa9775 ikr, lmao

[@Kiwi-np3sy]

This is so me

[@MMM-rw6bl]

INFJ: Why is humanity here? INFP: What is humanity doing here?

[@lightdarkequivalent7143]

INTJ: Humanity is pathetic, we shouldn't be here

[@helenasvachova444]

Perfectly put!

[@VarnaIswara]

@@lightdarkequivalent7143 hahahahaha

[@roff000]

My mind is really bugging by both of it. No joke.

[@anyone359]

@@roff000 My opinion as an INFP: the first question is useless. We are here because of evolution. There is no purpose. We make (or don't make) purpose but humanity itself is not here for a purpose. It's like asking "what's the purpose of rain". It's raining because the water evaporates and condensates because of the sun and so on... Not because the plants need water or something. We just happened. But as humans we can shape our environment, including society. So the question is "what kind of world do we want and why? What would we have to do to get it and what is my part in this? (use your strengths)"

[@TantėsTelikas]

"Stereotypically an INFP is gonna be 'Hooray I listened to someone else'" So true. I legit think I deserve a medal every time I hear an opinion I dont agree with and DONT ARGUE back lol

[@8moltovivace8]

Lmao same bro

[@loverrlee]

It’s not that I don’t want to listen to other people’s opinions. I’m just not sure how to acknowledge their option while still maintaining I respectfully disagree. I am never saying they have to change their opinion. I merely shared mine, like they shared theirs. But everyone assumes you’re trying to start an argument if you don’t simply lie and blindly agree with everyone and anyone who shares their opinions with you. 🤷‍♀️

[@simonbendixborregaard6376]

@@loverrlee Then you just have to change communication, include a formal invite to your preference in discussing.. it could be Socratic dialogue that you use as a guide or anything the like. Think about the mediator stereotype, you are not just the mediator for people but are able to mediate yourself as a character.. Remember Shakespeare's: "All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely actors".. Taking a meta-step up lets you switch character within your own skin.. ..try it out :D infp wall of text, again..

[@evilunicorn6696]

We don’t argue cause we hate conflict and we don’t want to hurt the other ones feelings. Lol! How do we even get through life?

[@kuldeepgogoi3766]

Yep

[@melanholic8671]

I'm INFP and when bad things happen, I blame everything to myself. "This happens because I talk to this person" "because I'm lacking.. I'm stupid... I hate myself"

[@elartz5669]

:( don't do that... never be so rude with yourself please u.u

[@fati-korea8220]

I think like that too ☹

[@shawnmcgill1900]

Yes! I’m an INFP, but at this point in my life I don’t blame the world or other people. I blame myself, because I’m the only person I have control over.

[@mysterygirl30011]

Sounds like self-condemnation. These are not your own thoughts

[@MinYoonGi-pz2hq]

Yeah same..

[@expeng]

"INFPs aren't freaks who sit there talking to their seltzer water because they think it's a person" *casually chucks out the memory of a time I apologized to a chair while crying because I threw it down while upset*

[@ricardogiorgi7854]

Same 2

[@alekzc9109]

Oops

[@z_bennet4208]

omg same asuhsdecueh

[@elizabethweeks539]

I apologized to my bike 2 days in a row for not being gentle enough with it 😥

[@orinvoncarstein]

I think if I'd hit someone with a chair, I'd feel bad about the chair having to go through this (infp)

[@o0Marilyn0o]

I don't know who I am anymore *hyperventilates*

[@einsame_Maria]

In one of his Video DaveSuperPowers said that this thing with wanting neurotically to narrow it down to one thing "aka what is my type??? I need to know it," is an IJ thing

[@o0Marilyn0o]

THANK YOU.

[@grease4790]

I

[@MCJOHNSON95]

Yes but that doesn't mean for sure

[@nocowardsoulismine]

@@einsame_Maria That may not apply when it comes to typing, since personality type relates to identity. An INFP might have more difficulty not knowing who they are than an INFJ, since they lead with Fi.

[@xF3ARL3SSx43VR]

"INFJ's are like the parents from home alone that were like 'I think we forgot something' and they forgot Kevin, except it's their whole life" holy shit as an INFJ with ADHD this really hits home

[@LiamRobot2014]

dude the adhd struggle is real lol

[@northernstar5941]

Infps prioritize emotion over everything...I've literally felt slighted by rainy weather, as if it's personal. The depth of emotional reactivity is insane.

[@arfabutler4391]

Right on!

[@nancy9324]

Ikrrrrr

[@ninajohansson7015]

Haha! Just realized I do this too! I really hate warm weather and if I have to go outside with the sun shining I’ll hate everything and everyone, especially people who seem to be enjoying the weather. And it’s a personal attack, like why would the world do this to me?! Only once did I overcome this mentality. I was going to the store, it looked like it might rain but I didn’t bring an umbrella anyway. After maybe 15 minutes it started POURING. Initially I was furious but then I realized if I had brought that umbrella I wouldn’t look like a drenched cat, I had no one to blame but myself. And after that I just enjoyed the moment, it was quite liberating!

[@itchyanklez5045]

Right! And it bugs us when we can’t feel anything

[@juliejohnson3057]

I feel ya

[@samreenmulla3926]

As an INFP I struggle with extremes, i.e; either completely ignore what I want or completely ignore everyone else’s opinions. The challenge is to get somewhere midway.

[@sanjanatak8076]

samreen Mulla so true. I can relate

[@sewaller1384]

All about balance, which I’ve yet to achieve.

[@uwillneverknowwho5232]

Soooo truuueeee

[@zellhound156]

This! I either focus too much on myself and my wants and needs because I deserve to be happy, or I focus too much in others because I hate myself and I give too much of myself and I'm an empath, I switch back and forth as my energy builds when taking care of myself, then go and give it all to others, then get overstimulated, say fuck them and focus on myself again and repeat that cycle.

[@noone1602]

Same

[@stephieann6541]

I did a test. 4 times. 3 times I was INFP, one time INFJ. Still have no idea which one suits me better. It seriously feels like I'm both 😆

[@RebeccaHani]

Me too haha (ik that you commented this thing 2 y ago lol im sorry:_)

[@stephieann6541]

@@RebeccaHani no worries 😉 I can update that I'm a proud INFP without a doubt now

[@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied]

If you have to ask, you are clearly an INFP. -INFJ

[@mariatheyoutuber]

Same

[@stephieann6541]

@@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied Assuming a lot

[@skyblazeeterno]

I read it somewhere else. The infj dreams of the perfect career while the infp dreams of the perfect relationship

[@rosco3516]

You can either dream a little life or live a little dream. I would rather live it because dreamers alwase chase but never get it.

[@monikaroj4884]

Well.. I dream of both. Infp here

[@sanjanatak8076]

Omg this is so true. I m infp looking for a perfect partner and don’t know where to find one. Sad situation:(

[@Wallebm]

skyblaze eterno i do both, i legit can’t find out which one i Am

[@maniacessential5561]

As an infp I want to figure out and create something new, I would like having a stable career, but I don't want to be stuck with one job when there are so many things I can do

[@catiesteas]

STORY TIME! As an INFP: When I was young, I used to have both nice and cheap hangers, and I would hang clothes I didn’t like on the really bad hangers to “punish” the clothes. And I would try to make them feel bad. And I would give the good hangers to my favorite clothes to make the other clothes jealous. And I forgot about all of this until he mentioned talking to a seltzer can 😂😂😂😂😂

[@jiweiwu225]

Catie Simpkins Holy cr p，did you spy on me lol

[@1sabella]

I DO THIS

[@catiesteas]

Sierra Louiza lol! Looking back, I do feel bad now too 😂 But they were clothes parents forced me to wear, so that’s my justification 😅

[@claryfray4434]

Oh my God I just realized, I still do this 😂😂

[@claryfray4434]

@@catiesteas I agree, I especially hate those party clothes that are too tight and too uncomfortable

[@FrogBassoons]

FJ: INFJ's have difficulty taking in new concepts and ideas. Me, an INFJ: No I don't! Me, after thinking about it for a while: I see your point.

[@davidcook680]

You always have to analyze opinion questions for awhile. To really find out what your true opinion is. I can spend days on a single opinion type question.

[@keegster7167]

@@davidcook680 YES! Yeah I think I am an INFJ. I thought I might be INFP, at first. I was confused for a while

[@theresacane8784]

I'm INFP and... I do think my seltzer water is a person. When I throw away inanimate objects I feel sorry for them. And, yup I'm INFP- I don't like other people telling me what I should believe, unless I already believe it.

[@embee5375]

I thought it was just me!!

[@fatehazlenecabangon2482]

This is me

[@alchris8041]

Right?

[@XxAdromedaMiloxX]

Honestly, the personification of inanimate objects has lead to me becoming a lowkey hoarder...

[@skrimpshidy]

I definitely anthropomorph (sp). Like, Man!

[@NAOMIEA3]

INFP: struggling to not exit after hearing the self centered comment

[@loverrlee]

NAOMIEA3 Yeah that one cut real deep 😅

[@tharumigajanayake6777]

Totally 😂😂😂

[@hariboi8840]

Yeah, it's just so true. Remember when Aragorn, although INFJ according to 16 personalities, left Rivendell early in the morning to avoid seeing Arwen once again, so he had not to tell her that, despite their love, it must be over, because he thought it would be easier for him to carry the burden alone instead of speaking to her and having both of them deal with the emotional struggle they were to face, anyway? That's exactly what I often tend to do, taking others' burdens alone without even asking them, in the worst case feeling to some degree worthless, abused, and alone in the aftermath, ending up with the thought: "I love people, but they're assholes. I should not get too attached to them too often, it's not good for me." The sad truth is, that I did not commit those deeds out of love to them, but to myself. I haven't abused and diminished myself, but them. Others are exactly as worthy as I am, and the only way of dealing with them is on eye level. "Caring" about them but not their opinion means caring about myself, diminishing them to less than me, less than a human, thinking "I can take it better than them.", implicating: "I *am* better than them." It's arrogant and self-centred, objectifying others by depriving any subjective aspect. INFPs must face some anxiety towards people if we treat them this way...

[@bena-n]

Imagine your mom like this. And you can't run. That's my real nightmare.

[@Elise-iq8cm]

This made me laugh so hard 😂

[@Iamabananagirl]

INFJ here. I thought it was funny because I remembered out of nowhere that I’ve been listening to the same 80 songs for 3 years now and I refuse to explore new music unless favorite artist come out with a new song and I know sometime I will explore new music but it’s going to be a pain and it’s going to be a lot of work to get out of this comfort zone of just playing the same playlist over and over cause I have to actually listen to new things and ahh just thinking about it makes me feel weird...

[@anjithaa4521]

Me too

[@kaguya7588]

I can relate

[@yoongoongi4349]

me with BTS and i get annoyed if i have to listen to different music... but if i hear it enough times i start to like it lol

[@ltgumgutt]

I felt this

[@codevhorriblesolutionsgami7102]

I do the same with anime and hobbies so i can't game and watch anime i can only pick one to do for a while and it takes a lot of effort to switch which one i do or even genra of anime its like please just enjoy both

[@keithmustanggt]

I’m an infj and my best friend is infp, I feel like the biggest difference between us is that I’m very punctual, organized and plan oriented whereas he’s very go with the flow, always late etc

[@fifi7367]

Im infj and i don't really like being organized lol. And i'm punctual only when i need to.

[@InHimAlone]

I am INFJ and my husband is INFP... this is very true for us, haha. Luckily we have both moderated each other a little over the years.

[@thatcoffee]

Keith Golden I’m pretty sure I’m infj and I would describe myself as punctual but not organised. Like I’m never late and I never miss a deadline but I’m always making it in just in time, at the last possible moment, the process of me getting there being planned/thought-out, but executed hurriedly and chaotically (though polished in a way that hopefully muffles any signs that give away that I handled it at the last possible moment). This is me in most aspects of life unfortunately lol

[@stardusttodust25]

I'm like... A mixture between the two. Like, I have plans, but only for specific things. I turn up late to stuff sometimes, and my room is a mess, but I get upset and thrown off when I don't get to eat exactly what I had planned in my head to eat for breakfast, or when someone doesn't plan a social event down to a tee a week or two ahead. I often do things the night before, but I love making plans and lists.

[@fabulouskelly3438]

same except i’m the infp

[@ratnapippo]

I don’t want to fit in, i just want to be myself and happy about it.

[@loverrlee]

Ratna Wati As an INFP I want to both fit in AND be completely authentically myself. I’m slowly learning at the age of 30 that that’s apparently impossible... “Be yourself!” They said... “It’ll be fun!” They said... 😞

[@claryfray4434]

@@loverrlee I am 20, and info I hate being in spotlight, so I still try to fit in so I don't stand out, I am so sick of this duality though but I fear that people won't accept the true me 😣

[@onlyhuman5669]

@@loverrlee Yussss

[@MK-oe5md]

FJ be calling me out lol Me as an INFJ: I will only read romance novels because I know how they work and this is what I am used to Me after reading dystopian novels: Wow! I actually enjoyed that! *ridiculous amount of self praise for getting out of my comfort zone*

[@AvaRosss]

Well, I don't know, as an INFP most of my problems are caused by putting others first and ignoring myself. And I can actually benefit from listening to other people less.

[@loverrlee]

AvaRoss Ironic we feel this way and yet everyone sees us as the complete opposite, huh?

[@AvaRosss]

@@loverrlee Probably one of the most misunderstood personality types. But yeah, setting healthy personal boundaries is good for anybody and we're not an exception.

[@atomiccritter6492]

@@AvaRosss yes its weird being called selfish when you are trying to please everybody and not cause problems

[@pizzadohpaz]

I do think there is a spectrum of INFP. How selfish you are likely depends on how you were raised or what your value system is. If your value system is: put all people before myself: then as an infp, you're gonna be really good at it because that's what's important to you. On the other hand, you *could* (not trying to be mean or dumb here) be mistyped. I'm an INFP and I know I'm selfish, even when I try not to be. You *sound* more like INFJ in this comment. Again, this is just my opinion 🤷‍♀️

[@AvaRosss]

@@pizzadohpaz Yes, I agree. I'm definitely an INFP though - I've carefully studied not only the 16 personalities but each of the cognitive functions and their expressions too (very interested in the subject) and I've come to a firm conclusion. So it seems there really is a spectrum of INFP which shouldn't be a surprise since above all we are people and all people are unique.

[@meiii37]

“Let’s take a quick commercial break” **actual ad starts playing** Me: Surprised pikachu face

[@argerking6275]

OMG SAME

[@oopzs]

Same for me too i was very impressed

[@atomiccritter6492]

@@oopzs I think when a video is uploaded the user can specify when ad breaks take place

[@sabserab]

Hard 4th wall break!!

[@MCK682]

Same here. It was beautiful.

[@sarahs.9678]

My husband is an INFJ and I’m an INFP. Conflict is fun lol. But honestly, I’d rather have him than anyone else in the whole world. Although he frustrates me, he’s excellent at helping me grow and I’m excellent at helping him grow too.

[@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied]

If he is an INFJ, he doesn’t like conflict either, you know…

[@unicornicecream8984]

"It doesn't mean that INFPs are some friks who like, you know, talk to their seltzer water" --Not now water, I cannot speak now.

[@elsielf]

OMG ahahaha im dying

[@polyhymnia701]

"Good morning, chair!" - me every morning to my chair before I sit down to have breakfast 😂

[@aubriehamm809]

@@polyhymnia701 🤣🤣💀💀I cant with these comments

[@anissaabdullah6853]

sometimes i'm INFJ sometimes i'm INFP now i'm confused 😅

[@rmsttnc2958]

Same lol

[@chris_coffin]

RELATABLE

[@stephanvillavicencio5679]

keep testing yourself...maybe you're 50%...or not...

[@desraebrown683]

Ahhhhh, I know! It's so confusing lol.

[@Lethany]

I get INFP normally, but get INFJ when i take test at work lol

[@shaylacain7325]

INFJ here. In stress and problem solving, I 100% disregard everything else and focus on the overriding concept and my goals. I get rid of anxiety by writing a happy ending to my story step by step. Whether it's escaping the present to plan for retirement, researching grad school programs, or figuring out if I'll be able to buy a house, I take notes and try to "end" it in a way that feels satisfying. No matter how bad things are, I can make it temporary. Life never ever seems to play out the way I plan it, but doing this gives me a vague abstract feeling of control over my destiny and refines my goals.

[@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied]

Precisely.

[@lorenaboliveira2000]

i'm an infp and once an bug bited me while i tried to sleep and i literally got so hurt, like what did i do to you ??? and I stayed upset with the bug for a week

[@kiraborachealjmahg736]

Waaaaaaaatttt? You guys are so emotional. 😲😲😲. I am INJF

[@kekelottas]

There are dogs i walk by in the morning and they typically bark at everyone passing by, except for me, so when they do bark at me I feel so hurt. Like how could you do this?? i thought we had a bond?? I'm gonna, instead, think that you'd like to play with me rather than thinking that you suddenly hate me😖😭

[@sol-oh1gc]

Same here. I got hurt when a cat stole my fav cake and even cried. I also hate ants for years so I bought an anti bugs pesticide. But I'm more likely an INFJ and now getting more confused 😂

[@ruixizhang5733]

This literally happened to me rn as I was reading your comment. A mosquito bit me and I got so offended asking why couldn’t it just leave me alone. Lol

[@LennyTheHopeless]

PMS really doesn't help either😂

[@AnnaLMakeup]

INFJ's are controlling... You got me there. One of the fastes ways to my bad side is to ignore or chance the routine or plan I've already created in my mind and make me adapt to something new on last minute. I can't handle that at all. :D Which is why I always try to keep myself on top of everything and make other people excited about something I propose instead. I don't even know if this is a INFJ thing or not but I do think we are quite independent, especially when it comes to our own decision making.

[@kristianjensen5877]

The reasoning behind what you describe is probably because we, from the moment we've committed to plans, already start imagining how events are supposed to go and this kind of gives us a roadmap / model of the world to follow, allowing us to rely less on Se and more on Ni to navigate our environment and interactions. When our plans / routines are shaken up by changes, we are forced to shift into Se mode and take in the world in "as it is" and act on our feet, which can feel challenging or draining to us - so we prefer to stick to our plans / routines when possible. The best way to facilitate that is being the ones taking initiative to do something instead of going along with the plans / direction of less "disciplined" personality types / simply refusing to go along with them / trying to convince other people to stick to the plan. This can make us seem quite independent or decisive (we stick to our guns), when in reality it's probably more like a coping mechanism against the amount of chaos we experience from being in Se-mode.

[@chasingtheunknown3763]

I think I'm an INFJ and I'm not controlling at all. What's Fe for anyway? When I'm with people I definitely am flexible and can do whatever they want as long as it's a novel thing, a smart plan and not a time and resource-waster. Otherwise, I'll say that it will definitely faze me. People will definitely hear from me and it'll show on my face if I don't like something. But I won't insist on what I want if the majority prefers something else. My rationale is I can always do what I want alone. That doesn't mean I'm indecisive and dependent unlike the INFPs I know, I definitely have my own preference. It's just that when I'm with other people, my purpose is to be with them and experience their world unless I'm really craving and itching to do something. This is not always a good thing though. As I usually fail introducing them to my world.

[@recoveringsoul755]

Kristian Jensen YEs, I cannot stand it when my plans, routines or expectations are ambushed. I never was able to think fast on my feet to respond and adjust. I think about something a long time, consider every possible angle, and then make a decision. So when someone else screws that up, I am completely lost. And I married someone who loved to ambush me, and keeps doing it still.

[@kristianjensen5877]

+Chasing TheUnknown I think going along with someone else's plan, even though it might not be perfect for us or something we initially want to do, is kind of an Fe thing. It depends a bit on our motivations. If we are feeling "Egh, I really don't want to go/do the thing and I'd rather do this other thing, but I probably should go to/do the thing that the other person invited me to, because I don't really have anything else planned" about something someone else has proposed, and we end up going anyway, it's most likely an Fe response to the situation (because not showing up might make the invitee feel bad). I think our stubborness / surlyness (which is how I interpret the description of your reaction above), when it manifests itself as a reaction to sudden changes in plans, isn't as much about us wanting to have things our way as it's about sticking to what we agreed to do / participate in - if we are invited to go for a coffee, we kind of expect to go for a coffee and not go skydiving all of a sudden. We'll still go skydiving anyways, because "FINE! *grumble grumble*", but we really would rather have gone for that coffee. :)

[@sylveandescapism7502]

Oh my god yes

[@AnaCosta-sq7lo]

I am an INFP and definitely self-absorbed... but I am not sure how much of it is due to life-long problems with depression/ anxiety that make me always exhausted and in survival mode. I tend to live a lot inside my own head, stuck in negative thought loops.

[@pauladelabarreravargas4429]

X2

[@Whatever-xu3np]

the way you saying this makes me think you're INFJ analysing yourself

[@adelalovesmadara4062]

I too am an INFP. Self-absorbed... I feel like I don't want to be like this, but it's like a root that can't be or doesn't want to be taken out. I'm perpetually stuck in these pools of negative thoughts and feelings. Basically, I'm doomed haha. I'm definitely not a healthy INFP.

[@maryolguin4372]

I can definitely relate to the seemingly self-centered emotionally exhausted negative spirals. I’m realizing now, that that’s not really who I am despite how much my brain has tried to convince me. In the past, I’ve had so many doctors dismiss my complaints of low mood, low energy, etc., but now that my underlying health issues are finally getting taken care of I feel much happier! For me, it was anemia and vitamin D deficiency, probably caused by years of an ED, caused by not being taught how to emotionally regulate as a child and having way more feels than I could handle. But I can handle the feels now, and for the first time ever feel genuinely optimistic.

[@Bunihime]

This relates to me on a personal level

[@celladoor_uk]

Man. I am an INFP -T and you have for real hit so many nails on the head describing our the flaws, struggles and fears, from where I am standing at least. Thank you for the insight. :)

[@bittersweet7145]

But for real though, why can't people just accept me for who I am? - INFP XD haha

[@zanbudd]

Bittersweet They don’t accept themselves for who there are, it’s a concept no one else relates to - I wish I could tell you something else, but it’s better to know and figure out ways to deal.

[@Shreyapreaches]

I whispered "exactly" while liking this comment.

[@loverrlee]

The funny thing is I don’t even think THEY know why they don’t like us 😂

[@pineappleonpizza8128]

As an INFP-T (with I,N,F,P all above 70% - up to 95%) I definitely see in myself the quality of being “too self-centered”. While most INFPs claim themselves to be very genuine & nice people- and generally I do too lol, I often find myself behaving in certain ways just so I would be considered a “good person’, or so that people would ‘like’ me. I wouldn’t put it as being manipulative, but whenever I catch myself doing it I tend to subconsciously judge myself. For example, when I’m faced with opinions that don’t necessarily align with my values + beliefs, it’s not rare for me to subconsciously disregard all aspects related to that subject. If someone said to me “I don’t actively try because I believe life’s suppose to be chill, and so I go with the flow.”, That point onwards that person would probably be filtered out completely in my world into another dimension, and I can t help it. 😂😂😂 But then I’ll spend 2 days in my head reflecting and criticize myself for being such a horrible, fake, closed minded person 🙂 My mind is filled with self-doubts all the time, but dare I say there’s always been a weird sense of superiority or righteous deep down (in the most non-arrogant way possible). I can’t exactly put it in words, I’d beat myself up for every single little thing, yet it comes with a stimulating motivation to overcome absolutely anything, My self-exceptions sometimes bring pain, but I could only be expecting this much because I believe I’m overwhelmingly capable of overcoming any challenges.. Ok I’m starting to sound like an arrogant ass, I forgot what my point was when I commented. To conclude this unnecessarily extensive comment that nobody asks for: I get how INFPs could come across as defensive, self-oriented individuals, because the truth is we actually are? We can be very empathetic and caring, however the thoughts of emotion usually get projected /associated with our own experiences and feelings. Not that I don’t care about how others think, but I find the question I ask myself the most is: “How do I, me, Frank, personally feel about this?”, and this applies to every situation I encounter. I guess perhaps being ‘selfish’ or ‘narcissistic’ is when a person acts 100% based off of self interests, and in the process might cause harm to others. And “self-associated” is more about connecting received information with one’s root feelings, but because things that get connected connect so deeply, everything else seems to disconnect very easily. The difference is, I think if INFPs were told that their actions caused hurt, they would probably feel sorry ( I, myself feel horrible about me, myself for causing hurt, so I, myself should feel sorry for what I, myself have done), exaggerated but pretty much it. For a ‘selfish’ person would be more like ( I caused hurt, is “not causing hurt” a thing I wish to do? No- Therefore, I do not mind it). I made zero sense. I get that all INFPs are different, I’m in no way trying to say all INFPs think the same way that I do, You know what I’m just gonna leave now ._.

[@linguisticsnerd433]

Wow this one really resonated with me, I'm also an INFP-T

[@linguisticsnerd433]

@sleepy • 16 years ago T stands for 'Turbulent' but I don't really deeply understand what it means.

[@jacobhollback2879]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, this really resonated with me as well. I too feel that innate sense of superiority and do that unconscious filing/filtering out of opinions, thoughts or sometimes a whole ass person while externally seeming to agree with them or at least be non-judgemental because I want them to feel validated and important. It only occurs to me later that acting a certain way to their face while systematically trashing the entire being is a very dishonest and borderline manipulative mode of behavior. But it's automatic, and it's something I'm trying to work on. I think the feeling of righteousness has it's roots in childhood experiences. Perhaps since we are more capable than some in understanding patterns of emotional behavior and acting as a "healer" or "mediator" to people in our lives (as an instinct, not from a conscious desire to inflate our egos) and we got validation and positive reinforcement from that, and internalized our abilities in that area as our main source of self esteem and pride. And not understanding how everyone else can't see what's so obvious to us, kinda made us feel special and needed and valuable. So it's a smug little personality nestled deep in the brain, but it's not a malicious one. I hope that makes some sense? I think that's the difference between true narcissism or selfish behaviors and our default way of thinking. All the information we take in is run through our analysis center and sorted out, and applied against our way of thinking and relating, and generally speaking, if we feel we need to make adjustments or changes, we do that. And we genuinely don't want to hurt people. A narcissist intentionally engages in abusive behavior as a defensive mechanism to feed their fragile sense of self esteem and ego, they have very little capacity for self analysis.

[@iamyu]

I am an INFP but watching this vid confuses me cause I relate with both INFP and INFJ. when he said INFP don’t think of other people, I don’t know what to feel about it. when I’m in a conflict, I get stressed by thinking “how can I help these people from arguing with each other” or “how can we reach the same conclusion”. usually, i’ll sit there thinking “I fully understand why this person is behaving this way and what makes this person think this is the correct decision even though I don’t necessarily agree.” but at some point when things get prolonged, I started to lose my mind and started blame other people like, “why can’t they seem to understand other people’s value?”, “I hate people who thinks their decision are the most true and the best way of doing things.” and when in situations where I feel I couldn’t do anything, I’ll just agree with what the other person thinks is correct even though I fully disagree. I think my problem is I hate conflict/confrontation because sometimes I know I couldn’t make them change the way they perceive certain thing (and just straight up agree with me) and I also don’t want to change the way I perceive thing just to cater to them. so it kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth, because it kind of challenging my values as well. most of the time, me not agreeing with them in certain situations just because it hurt my values might makes me look like I’m selfish, idk.

[@totaltotal8481]

one of my best friends, for me (an INFJ) the most typical INFP I've ever met, is exactly like this. He is a very loving, sensitive and genuine person in the way he cares about others and he really tries to be open and welcome everybody else, but deep inside is this part of him (some people would call it really dark), that is self-absorbed, judgy, close-minded and manipulative. We've had extensive conversations about this and how we both similarly are in this kind of loop were we think we are the worst people ever because we deceive others and lie (or not share the truth) and are ultimately judgy (when we are honest to ourselves, we think most people are beneath us and kind of irrelevant and uninteresting), then continuously punch down on us and hate how bad of a person we are, so we compensate really hard by being the nicest, most loving and giving people ever because it actually hurts to hurt others, which just feeds into our egos that we are better than others and have power over them. It's really paradox and there are differences in the way we approach others etc, but we came to a similar enough conclusion and experience we shared with eachother, that no one else seems to really understand like that. It is very much paradoxical and I don't think neither him or me really like to show this to people. One difference I have noticed is that he filters everything through himself as in what the relation to him is, while I am bit more focused on the outside and what I can find out about that and the patterns it creates (of course I'm not egoless, not at all). So honestly yeah, you said what you are saying doesn't make sense? It really does and I'm intimately familiar with this exact spiral or ping-pong because of him, so yeah, there are probably other INFP's who are similar to you ^^ But on a side-note, could also be a result of specific childhood traumas and mental illnesses we both inhibit where we are fighting our way through. I think I really want to show him this comment ^^

[@loverrlee]

As an INFP: But I have to be self-centered because nobody else will be my friend! And nobody will be my friend because apparently I’m too self-centered. What a catch 22! 😭

[@gioovannabp]

I feel it too

[@davidcook680]

As a INFJ I have no friends. Because i won't talk to people ever. While I set and analyze all the reasons having friends is bad. While wanting a friend.

[@emmaventura8778]

When handling a problem an INFP would also escape to their fantasy world where they'll continue to stay until the problem dissolves or gets worse. LOL

[@paloma_g]

i relate to this statement too much 😅🥲

[@Umeshukitsune]

I have ADHD so one of those would be bad but together lol

[@Robidu1973]

I'd use that internal world to actually _solve_ problems: Whatever is bugging me in RL I just import into my internal world, then let the residents there handle it (backgrounding it helps, because it prevents the problem from blocking precious space in my conscious), and as soon as the solution presents itself, I'll reexport it to RL. It may take some time, but whatever is coming out of this usually turns out to be quite viable.

[@HealthyPlanet]

INFJ: “Why am I recluse?” INFP: “Because of me.” INFJ: “Finally. Someone understands.”

[@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied]

This one is brilliant.

[@aubreymarquardt1818]

i’ve been struggling with whether i’m an INFJ or INFP for a while because both sound like me. i’m still confused lol but this vid had me leaning a little more towards INFJ

[@aubriellesims9407]

Same here

[@efzedkay]

I'm both too. Not all personality tests are accurate. But I did come across one where it gave a lot of details. It included a picture with how much percentage I had of each personality. With infj and infp having the highest percentage of equal amounts.

[@poshnosh222]

@@efzedkay Thats not How it works 🙄

[@jordanbatka033]

INFJs never hear the truth being spoke by INFPS. They hear it but don’t comprehend it because they choose not too

[@Keke_Poutri]

Same, but mine is more towards INFP

[@scorpzcorpz4017]

The mirror effect, that's a good way to explain it.. INFJ feel like they do what the INFP does, an the INFP feel like they do what a INFJ does. Lmao

[@Rawrieatjoox3]

I came to this video because i had this exact thought! I've scored an infj every time ive taken the test but can relate to the infp too so i thought WHAT IF IM WRONG 😂

[@rickross80]

@@Rawrieatjoox3 S A M E!!! 2 years ago I took a personality test and it said I was INFP. I wanted to do this test yesterday since a lot of changes went through my life while I moved out of my house and went to college AND the test said I'm INFJ and I was sure I changed from INFP to INFJ BUT... Something was off, I wasn't completely an INFJ so I took this test AGAIN- 4 times! And 4 times it said I'm INFP but I can't completely relate to it either *SO NOW I DON'T KNOW WHO AM I ANYMORE*

[@tamaerl]

@@Rawrieatjoox3 same! I feel like i'm more to infp but when i try the other mbti method to know if i'm more to J or P, it comes out that my J's percentage is so far higher than P. And my t and f is 50/50. Of course there are many stuffs that i can relate in infj, but though i feel like i'm not like that, i think i have experienced many infp things. I've heard that infps don't really think they're like how they are in some ways though. But that goes for both infj and infp for me

[@Rawrieatjoox3]

@@tamaerl You know it just gets so confusing lol because i've heard the infj is able to mold and relate to other personalities but still remain an infj.

[@tamaerl]

@@Rawrieatjoox3 THIS. i do relate to to other personalities but i might be just infp who think in those personality's head. I mean, i heard that infjs' emotion absorption is happened without they even know why (which i don't really know if it's really like that) and infps are just thinking what if they're on the same situation as someone else (which i might be relate more?) But well, there's still some other personality references of these and i still can kinda relate them but idk..

[@hajarhanani5241]

As an INFP, I used to say thank you to ATM machine after I got my money 😂

[@antzooma]

this empathy will come in handy when the robots do finally take over...i think ?

[@terezarasovska8346]

@@antzooma lol

[@guest0407]

I did the same thing to the ticket machine in the airport parking lot 🙃

[@batjon1963]

Someone gave you a thumbs down. I bet it was Two-Type Timmy. I never liked that kid.

[@FrankJames]

that little stinker!

[@brittanys8217]

Four types???!!! You've gotta be kidding me😂😂😂🤣👌 I wanna meet this epic special unicorn with laser beam eyes. Introduce me plz!

[@brittanys8217]

No doubt a Phoenix has risen from the ashes and it poops gold nuggets. People are funny...lol. I feel bad for the rare legend tho. He/she must have so many problems due to having four inferior functions. Must be a lonely life fraught with sorrow. Good thing I only have three types. I'm an I/ENF/TP you've probably never heard of it.

[@brittanys8217]

It just means I am the most compassionate, the most inventive, and the best at understanding the dynamics of my social environment. I'm basically the most impressive, radiant human being you will ever meet. 😂😂😂👍 No im just a regular old Enfp whose farts are contributing to depletion of atmospheric ozone, like everyone else's. And as you can see, I'm very strange. But I make awesome quesadillas!!! At least. Hehe. Yes you are right. I love it!!! So many interesting characters to observe and it's a fun challenge to try and form a morphous idea of their character repertoires via textual communication, with all its limitations.😀👍 you are an interesting commenter Anise. I like your quirky, fun and poetic style.😎👌

[@melbeth79]

I guess some skip over three type Therman and head straight to four type Freddie...

[@calguy2285]

Thirty years of doing this? Did you start at age five?

[@Avenray19]

we INFJs try to solve the puzzle of existence since birth.

[@jehouse61]

I was just trying to calculate the same thing!

[@user-vg3yc9lx4q]

@@Avenray19 lmao I used to ask my family how do I not die, like why die if you're born in the first place haha

[@yvonnecampbell7036]

@@user-vg3yc9lx4q My first traumatic thought was when I was about 5 contemplating my parents dying in a car crash......

[@yvonnecampbell7036]

I think he was about eight.

[@nickel865]

I was such an unhealthy INFP in my early teens. ended up ruining a lot of friendships because i was only thinking about me and my needs as a person and i never entertained the fact that other people thought differently than what i think. i thought that everyone who went against me was the villain.

[@timefortee]

Yeah a teen's brain is still developing, no matter the type. As long as you've learned your lesson and try to help others now...

[@jaqui4524]

Im still thinking of that in my 25s🥺🥺😔😔😔 am i inmature?

[@infernal..]

@@jaqui4524 yes.

[@guineapigsarecute6104]

"that doesn't mean that INFP's talk to their water because they think it's a person" Uhm well I'm INFP and I definitely talk to things like they are a person. Not because I think they are a person but because I feel for objects like I feel for living things. So yep, I do apologize to the painting on the wall when I put it on the ground for a second.

[@melanielin0210]

I used to rearrange my stuff toys every night so they don't "feel" bad about not being close enough to me

[@guineapigsarecute6104]

@@melanielin0210 I still do that. And I'm 20 🙈

[@kumamarru5492]

I'm 25 and I still do that

[@elisa4620]

I am not sure of my type yet (just started to be interesting in MBTI last week, I relate tobothINFJ and INFP) and I do that too (feeling for objects as much a people).

[@gemmarium4337]

Wow this interesting. I’m an INFJ and don’t do this.

[@pelqel9893]

INFJ here. I hate to admit it.... but you're right. I've been absolutely screwed several times because I wasn't willing to give certain information its due importance, and suffered because of that blindness. I need to watch out for this... Spot on!

[@rosesalvatori6217]

My sibling is an INFP and I am an INFJ. I just started binging your videos and find we both find them not only relatable but accurate in how we as siblings act. It's interesting because our parents think we're like oil and water while we ourselves think we're more like salt and water; we get along but sometimes we just need time apart because if we spend too much time together we can really annoy each other with our anxieties. We're both learning to be more self aware and when we need to step back. She's going to be my roommate in May and so we are actually finding our common ground early before then.

[@Alystra17]

I’m INFJ and my mom is INFP:)

[@Solozolo_]

“Yay I listened to someone else” It’s so true I’ve been listening to the same 5 bands for 8 months

[@linda.elia.]

@Aziah Wiltsey marry me

[@typicalpoet]

@Aziah Wiltsey wth sameee

[@helenasvachova444]

I'm an INFP and you explained the differences perfectly. I'm in a lot of spiritual communities on reddit and other sites and I recognize INFJs (who are a majority anyway) immediately because they kind of... don't really consider humanity as a set of individuals and don't really feel the need to interact with people and get to know them? 😅 I've always found it rather paradoxical, considering they always declare their mission is to "help humanity," while their approach is so wildly theoretical. It's refreshing to see an INFJ who actually recognizes this tendency in themselves. Edit: Oh and so that I don't just diss INFJs, I definitely am pretty self-obsessed and I used to be extremely concerned with what other people think of me. It's definitely still important to me but I've become reflective of that and try to actively manage it. It's interesting to watch people grow and change, even though their type is still basically the same.

[@morganaluna78]

Helena Šváchová you get me. I want to save humanity, and hate people so much at the same time. Because of how wrong they are.

[@lordbunbury]

I am infp as well and never really get upset with humanity in general. Mostly just by unfair rules, dogma’s and ridiculous social conventions. “How are individuals supposed to be good if the rules of the game are so crooked!”

[@BloodNAshez]

I think INFJ care for humanity in the larger sense but maybe feel unable to change things in the individual sense but we still care a great deal. We find individuals to be trying and rather hopeless. I have said many times I have a love/hate relationship with humanity. They mainly just make me sad a lot because they are destined to destroy themselves and each other slowly. We are not all that intelligent, not really, It's a lot of hype on the backs of a minority of geniuses. I was accessed as a INFP but i know that's incorrect. I am definitely a advocate INFJ.

[@BlessedDivine77]

Very well said. I found im an infjp even though im leaning towards the p. I got 50% for p and j equally. Im very organised but my issue has always been people either their crazy about me or dont like me because i intimidate them because i excel in many things

[@rhaena8259]

as an INFJ I absolutely agree with you, I want to help people for the greater good, but on personal level prefer to be left alone (because people are very exhausting to me and I feel like I personally don't get anything out of interactions for the most part). Why are we like this? I wish I knew lol.

[@sync3471]

I’m an INFP and my emotions are immature. I can get EXTREMELY mad at someone, and then if they apologize, then even though the logical part of me knows good and well that I shouldn’t forgive them, I do.

[@IndieAuthorX]

"Why am I on an Island" INFJ: because I sank the boat. INFP: my shipmates threw me off.

[@kristianjensen5877]

Curse that Two-Type Timmy!

[@candycryptid2832]

ENFP: Our ship wasn't cannon.

[@candycryptid2832]

(thanks a lot, fandoms.)

[@sylvial1985]

ENTJ: Peons! Grab some planks, nails, hammer, and let's get going!

[@lalakuma9]

More like INFP: I don't get along with my shipmates, so I'm going to voluntarily jump off the ship, because they suck and I'd rather be by myself.

[@xantisant]

Put your hands up INFPs (or your unicorn hooves) whoop!

[@treasurem2491]

Whoop whoop!!!

[@RebeccaAnnSinkula]

holla.

[@nopeimout3182]

Whoop!

[@honeyjar2970]

@dylan thoms yes

[@scaledaddymushroomking7549]

I only have enough energy to hold up one finger, but it's the most meaningful one

[@missparadoxa3905]

I feel like some people may have misunderstood the part about INFJs not wanting to learn. It doesn’t mean that they hate school and exploring and learning about new things - it means that once an INFJ has an opinion on something, they will defend that opinion and become stubborn towards other possible options unless given a set of good reasons. At least in my experience.

[@davidcook680]

I can be stubborn once i have a opinion on something. I can become closed off to people with different opinions. I'm trying to work on being more receptive. It's just so damn hard. I don't just form a random opinion on things. I research and analyze. Put alot of thought. Sometimes I just want to say to people you are wrong. Let me explain it jn away you will understand I'm right. Sit down and listen. Lol.

[@kylewood2715]

@missparadoxa I feel that is how it should be, though. If you have taken the time to form an opinion through reason, discussion, and research, then you should defend it as stubbornly as possible, up until new information comes along that either invalidates your opinion or updates it. The trick is always remaining open to the possibility of being wrong, even when you have every reason to think yourself right

[@estelerundil4497]

Once AI-generated info really takes over the internet, the INFJ approach will probably be the best option for everybody. Just go with the truth you already know, and if you see some weird story that totally doesn't fit with everything you've ever heard, just throw it out.

[@AriaAR]

Thanks, this video helped solidify that I am, in fact, an INFP. I love new information, people are the problem! Or rather, when I'm stressed out, I focus on people & whether I'm fitting in, & then deciding who needs them anyway. That's ultimately pretty self-absorbed, though.

[@jengildz9104]

Awesome analysis...hi I'm a hardcore INFP Merry Christmas to you 😘

[@Devb0mb]

I feel you. When the problems come up, it's almost on a guilt or social, being/existential or emotional level, and usually involves "people" in some way, even if it has nothing to do with people, if that makes sense.

[@zephdo2971]

i always thought, for introverts. people were always the problem. the more you know huh?

[@coryhoward2340]

I tend not to listen to people a lot of times because they want me to change in ways that aren't possible. They can't understand I'm different and can't live life the way they want me to. I find myself in conflict because they treat me unfairly. Another reason I don't listen to people is because they can be very dishonest and manipulative. I rely on my intuition

[@BlessedDivine77]

@@coryhoward2340 omg yesss i resonate with every word you said. As infps we dont like people for legit reasons. Ive been betrayed,manipulated used and im tough imagine if i wasnt tough people would take advantage of me and eat me alive whew lol!

[@titeufpif]

I'm an INFP, I have an INFJ friend and we both totally agree on what you said it this video. Nice work man!

[@FrankJames]

thanks!

[@jessparks86]

INFP: first sentence "I'll do it myself!" And thinking 'why won't anyone help me? Why are they judging me!!"

[@Robidu1973]

Simple reason: If you are going to get at some task, you are making sure to prepare well (that is, figure out how things work, gather the required knowledge, then put all the bits and pieces together to get the complete picture). When getting other folks into this project they simply don't understand what you are about to do, don't see what you have done beforehand and think they still know better (aggravated if they are just being smart-asses), or they are completely lackadaisical about it, thereby screwing things up. Then, however, they don't see how it is _they_ who have blundered but instead start shifting the blame on you instead. Been there, seen all of it myself (even with the "practical" xSxJ types). Greetings from an INFP-T.

[@E3boss2003]

Accurate

[@ColinBurmingham]

MB typing is a rabbit hole. Before you know it you find yourself dancing on the train tracks.

[@FrankJames]

you're on to something

[@ColinBurmingham]

Poor Timmy

[@tc0336]

Colin Burmingham Yes

[@mimimaria3]

exactly

[@k.strive46]

ur right i quit.

[@DeltaVe]

"I know I'm missing something." That's me every time I'm packing, getting ready to go somewhere, or just trying to remember what I was going to do next. I'm constantly worried I'm forgetting something, missing some important, game-breaking detail, or running myself half to death trying to make sure I didn't actually forget anything.

[@elisa4620]

Same. If I don't plan ahead and make a list I am very likely to forget something so it doesn't help this fear.

[@vrucewayne]

If you are an INFJ (also me) feeling bruised by what he just said, here's is a silver lining: you're out here looking for new information, listening to him constitutes as that. well done you (also me), keep going keep doing it more!

[@stephelisabeth3143]

"When you cause problems it is going to be because you ignored everyone else." Pretty much.

[@helenarosno]

I think this video just confirmed that I’m an INFP. I think personalities can sometimes shift and no one fits in any of the boxes perfectly, but I think INFP describes me fairly well

[@jaredbowles7269]

I think the INFP thoroughly listens & is open minded with people, but when bad things happen, a switch hits, they shut down, & don't listen bc they feel like no one is for them. I had some bad things happen to me as an INFP & it took me forever to set my own emotions & feelings aside to just listen to a friend & take in their advice bc im so caught up in wondering wtf is wrong with me, why does this stuff happen, what caused it, etc.

[@lyra3060]

As an INFP, I found myself nodding and laughing at a lot of this. Especially the "ya! I listened to someone!"

[@Entanglementful]

I'm an INFJ, my friend is an INFP and the video, in general, helped me understand some differences between us. Also I can see this trait in myself that whenever I (have to) talk to new people, being a true introvert, I kind of say to myself "Well, at the very least you might learn new information which may turn out to be helpful sometime".

[@LaceCoveredSkies]

I’m an infj who really really tries to be proactive and organized. I put a lot of effort into staying on top of things and not ignoring things. Like the other day I was doing 2 loads of laundry, making some dreaded phone calls to fix a problem, making doctors appointments and seeing if approvals went through with my insurance, having tea, and working on a project at my desk while on these phone calls waiting for my laundry. I thought it was a pretty good multitasking system to solve all these issues in my life. But OMG it stressed me out so much that I seriously felt sick after. I got everything done but it was such a struggle. Then I started feeling like one thing would go wrong and I wouldn’t be able to do the other thing(s) that I aimed to do within that 3 hour window. So yes I try to master this function and be as planned as possible while doing so but it is such a struggle!

[@taraingram6756]

“Why does this keep happening to me? Why is everything breaking down around me? Why am I always surprised by new crap? Why can’t I get on top of all this information?” Dude, how are you inside my mind?!?!?

[@annabelle3762]

As an INFJ, I can confirm these fears and struggles. I know I take in information really slowly. I can be quite hardheaded until I have no choice but to acknowledge or accept it. Also, I love to KNOW. I MUST KNOW. it's hard to NOT know. So true man.

[@PHE4_]

I'm an INFP. I accept what you say completely and I understand the difference SO much more now.

[@sarahs.9678]

One of the hardest things about being an INFP is not feeling like I can really let other people understand exactly what I think about something. I just want to feel like I can communicate well with people and sometimes I think I delivered something so clearly and someone is like, “I have no idea what you mean” or “Can you describe that differently” and I’m like. “That’s literally the best way I can possibly describe it”. Ugh!! 😭 I want to speak the same language, dang it!!! And I thought I was until someone comes back with “I have no idea what you’re talking about”. 😑

[@stevebennett625]

I’m an INFJ and find your channel and videos excellent and helpful! Great work! Thank You!

[@ianmatheus7178]

The "creating your own problems" really caught me off guard to the point where it was actually funny to hear. Even that I have mostly of (should I say) 90% of the problems and mind patterns that a typically INFJ would duel with, there's sometimes when I struggle too much on the thinking of "Am I a INFJ or a INFP?" to the point of overthinking. I discovered that this mindset is a way of my own brain trying to put myself in just one pattern so I can somehow "predict" things and feel safe by knowing my personality in a controlling way, when actually just because you know yourself it doesn't mean that you won't have to deal with new information and the real world, or that you won't change. If you're a INFJ, or just relate in some way with what I said, remember that you DON'T have to know everything, and you DON'T have control of what's outside of you, sometimes even what it's inside of you! Identify the things that you're struggling with and focus on changing for the better in the now. We believe in ourselves! Edit: I learned cognitive functions more deeply a while ago. Found out that I'm really an INFJ after all.

[@riamne1166]

I can relate as an INFP but I have ASD traits so this might be why I can relate to INFJs so much

[@Vuji222]

I'm an INFP and I'm loving this video. Your explanation and delivery are great. I laughed out loud at several of the not so great INFP traits.

[@sarahcollins190]

I don't think INFJs are trying to force ideas or new information to fit into a concept. You need to remember Ni is all about pattern recognition, that's what intuition is. So what we want to do is find the right place for that bit of information within the broader bigger picture pattern. But what if there is nothing yet to hang that new piece of information on to. It's called an anchor of prior knowledge. Young INFJ have this problem in particular as their lack of experience means they don't have the prior knowledge needed to hang things on, and if you ask them to do something with this new piece of information that they haven't yet found a place for in their big picture map it will completely throw them and they quickly get overwhelmed. I am a teacher and I see it with Ni all the time, these are the kids that ALWAYS ask why because they need to connect it with the bigger picture. Ti types often do something similar, but they ask how, so they can figure out the logic of how it works. Si ask what does it do, because they just want to know the effect and Fi ask am I good at this because they are most interested in how it makes them feel.

[@StephanieDouglassMusic]

This makes a lot more sense to me. I'm a teacher too. :) And I think about how I receive new concepts in PD, being a single subject specialist in an elementary district, "Does this fit with what my team is doing? Does it fit with how I teach?" It gets frustrating when it doesn't. But usually it does in some way.

[@judibemellow6261]

In 5th grade, I was the one asking, Why are we learning this? Teacher had no answer and i knew she didn't appreciate me or my asking, unfortunately. And then, same 5th grade year, I remember wondering to myself, the neverending life defining question, "What is Love ?" After all, the Beatles let me know, it's all you need 😌

[@micks336]

Why should we listen to the teacher when she blows a wistle. Let's stay here and keep playing see what they do. I had a few kids stick around. Lol

[@JillPflugheber]

You are SPOT ON. Ni LOVES to gather pieces--preferably with a place to hang the pieces, but even just acquiring the pieces with the possibility that they may be used later. This is why we have so many breath-taking AHAs, as pieces of one puzzle come together, usually while we are doing something entirely different. Others don't "get" this, because it can be a super slow process. I would never win a debate, unless you can give me two or three days to process and eventually surface with the perfect answer. I can rarely do this on demand or "under pressure". But I WANT every possible piece of information for potential future use.

[@sarahcollins190]

@Jack Daniels It's not forcing a square peg in a round hole. It's a peg that has no hole. Big difference. It's information that is just hanging out there, without a hanger. Like discarded clothes on the floor. It's untidy and trips you up. It could be the most ugly piece of clothing/concept in the world that the INFJ would never use or agree with, but it still needs to be hung up.

[@elisabethball2184]

“INFJs are narrow minded” actually so true. I can’t comprehend why being open minded is considered a virtue. I know what I believe and I know what I want. Why would I need to hear other beliefs and ideas when I already have it figured out? That’s my INFJ thoughts anyway.

[@omermanjo7459]

*INFP gasps* Bro....why?? OPEN MINDEDNESS IS A VIRTUE!!! *Angry INFP noises*

[@TheSdennis89]

Hey Frank, I like your points here but I think they're a little oversimplified and I realize you were trying to avoid the function jargon but it's important to clarify more when these situations arise for an INFJ and INFP, because these are both not their normal states of functioning. These 'missights' you mentioned tend to occur fundamentally when a) either party are under pressure and feel trapped, or b) when they are severely underdeveloped, so generally these two points cover the over-reliance on the dominant function. An INFJ when under pressure (or underdeveloped) will retreat into their dominant function Ni, not interested in new external information/stimulus (Se), other peoples feelings (Fe) or information that they've checked and determined is true (Ti), they'll just beat the point of their perceived all-knowing, but in reality out of touch Ni. My Dad, unfortunately, is one of these INFJ's, he has been undeveloped his whole life and is an oddball to say the least. An INFP likewise will retreat into their Fi, blind to the thoughts of other people they will also appear stubborn but in more of a selfish belligerent way, they're only interested in protecting their existing model of values and emotions. They can no longer adapt it to suit possible external efficiencies and thoughts of others (Te) and they're ignoring their perceiving functions where they could remember similar situations in the past (Si) and how to potentially get out of it (Ne). Now I don't personally know an INFP like this but I imagine they would be very bitter (everyone hates me) and quite unpleasant to be around. These are the two traps we NEED to avoid as INFJ's and INFP's - if you identify with this as your normal state you need to change your life if its pressured, or work on putting yourself in situations where you can develop your functions. Both of these outcomes will lead to you being viewed as either unpleasant or weird. Nobody wants to be these things. Healthy INFJ's behave the opposite what is being described here, they seek truth and clarity and are forever working and refining their Ni and Ti, they want external stimulus (Se) but not too much (because of the stress) but they will use that to strengthen their Ti, learning more and more all the while cycling back to (Fe) when appropriate. The Ni will always rule but with balanced use of all the other functions, this is where the label of 'insightful' comes in. Similarly, a healthy INFP will be using their strong Ne and Si to understand how other people may feel in a possible situation, Si will help them get better at not upsetting people as they get older as they recall how situations played out, and Te will balance out their fixation on their values (Fi) to ensure that they are organized and purposeful in their external lives. This is how the INFP has accrued the label of empathetic.

[@ommogi5700]

I absolutely agree! I was thinking the very same thing. While I like DaveSuperPowers and his method, I believe it vastly oversimplifies pretty much everything. It's like a baseline of information to be built on top of; the bare minimum. I think everyone feels proud when they learn something new -- it's not like I pat myself on the back every time I go looking for information, though. It isn't a feat for me to use my inferior Se. In fact I feel like I use it in a healthy way all the time being an artist. People are too complex to fit into a lot of these molds we've tried to create in order to understand personalities, I think.

[@infpbubble7549]

Omg ! This is so me (INFP who has been unhealthy in the past but in a good place now)

[@miriamw.]

He said he was going to focus on the negatives. I figured that meant this is not the "normal" state of each type, but a negative state. Did I miss something?

[@TheSdennis89]

My point was the video is missing the 'how' and 'why' - I'm not throwing any shade on him, I think he's awesome and his points were good and accurate, I guess I just wanted to beef it out a bit.

[@miriamw.]

@@TheSdennis89 I didn't think you were throwing shade, I really thought I was missing something. Just the fact we each saw it differently might call for some clarification.

[@ohsokitchy]

I was super confused if I was INFP or INFJ for the longest time but the more videos I watch of yours, the more apparent it is that I am definitely an INFJ with an INFP best friend. Thanks for the videos! They helped explain so much.

[@girodiboanottetempo5931]

I have finally understood the difference between these two types by looking back to my conflictual relationship with my mother (who died 2 years ago) and who was clearly an INFP (while I am an INFJ) and the root of any problem was always the same: her focus was on her self centered approach, by relating any event to her way to feel, to perceive it and she could never accept to look at the things with a more impersonal approach, therefore any objection to her positions was perceived as a form of criticism, a distructive criticism of her values, principles and ideas. I struggled all my life in the attempt to compromise and find a balance within the relationship with my mum but it was a serious struggle. I used to show my feelings and emotions, and I am quite honest and sincere but that became a weakness because allowed my mum to 'use' this Achille's heel to attack me when she felt (unjustly) attacked by my logical reasoning. I sometime yelled at her: "with you it's always me me me, I see, I think, this is my point of view etcetera" There was never room for a different perspective on certain things. I found this exhausting and I ended up closing myself emotionally. Over the years I became more and more 'cold' and keep the distance to futile discussions and not relevant issues. I have a wide, profound inner world, a sort of realm of Narnia, in which I bury myself when I don't want to deal with the stressfull practicality of the 'outside world'. I hate when something or someone breaks my routine, I wish I could be left alone with my thinking, my reading and writing, my dreaming, my deep conversations with few people, with my walks and my dogs and cats and nature.

[@jojo-xk8ri]

this video is so interesting to me idk i like analyzing myself. I'm an INFJ.

[@Nix7123]

Something I find really interesting is that I used to be an INFP, but I also had untreated Social Anxiety Disorder at the time. Years later when I finally got treatment for it I felt a lot less focused on what other people were thinking of me. So, out of curiosity, I took the test again and was an INFJ. Goes to show how mental illness can mess with your personality.

[@demonbabykay-o9w]

I was an infj and had a major life change and started smoking weed and now I am an infp

[@Exusted]

I cannot tell the difference, I am alot focused on myself, my emotions and my own wellbeing, I have quiet BPD (severe symptoms), so its either INFP or INFJ BPD...

[@boomboom2591]

Infp: “I do like people...” *“From afar”*

[@MLELELELEL]

Oh wait what YESS this is the most perfect for me

[@theofields6359]

We like people's true selves but usually they present a persona or a false self altogether which we don't like. Or they are just broad but shallow(er). I hate presenting a persona, it's extremely difficult for me. I don't know how others do it.

[@denisesiddon7241]

Ditto. Love people but they drain me interacting too much with them

[@lisawitcher6423]

As an INFP, I feel personally attacked for you seeing right through me... 😂❤️ I’m subbing for more brutal honesty. 😊

[@desireez5740]

Love Dave Super Powers too! I agree; most straight forward and understandable. Awesome having him as a guest. I'll be waiting. 😊

[@theliterarytarot]

It took me a long time to realize I was an INFJ not an INFP and everything was illuminated thereafter…and really just here to say I hope you grow your hair out again bc this 5-years-ago-hair was badass

[@maibv.]

I took the 16personalities test on two separate occasions. I was an INFJ-T two years ago, but now I’m an INFP-T. This video was really interesting to watch, so thanks for the info! ^^

[@sugarvegan9143]

This really helped me. I wasn't sure if I was INFP or INFJ, but this video made me really think about my past issues and the way I handled them. I definitely think I'm an INFP.

[@chica3824]

God yeah- I'm an INFJ and when I am stressed I become so controlling - like I have to have minute by minute planning of my day so I don't leave any room for unexpected 'new information'/ chaos. My INFP friends find this very stressful, and just want to be allowed to be more spontaneous / follow their own path a bit more. And I relate hard to that about when things go wrong. My thought is always 'why am I always so surprised when X happens' or 'why didn't I see that coming?'

[@krane8349]

INFJ’s being narrow-minded and over controlling ?? You got it. I am GUILTY. Hahaha. I also get overwhelmed by new info I love your sense of humor. Your content is great, you’re very creative!

[@micks336]

Probably why a lot of us infjs are single. Don't want to divide the control.

[@tc0336]

SAMMEEE OMGG

[@MistaCizm7]

Narrow minded and controlling? I really don't see how that could relate to Introversion. Can someone explain? The closest thing i can think of are covert narcissists

[@amiratazkia]

MistaCizm I think it's inside them that they're narrow minded and controlling, they don't usually let it out in case it hurts other people

[@loner4life83]

When I am depressed, I am an INFJ, when I am not depressed, I am an INFP. 😆

[@toad4112]

For me it’s like the opposite😭

[@darling_doe_]

Samee I’m also the opposite

[@jim_0903]

it's the opposite for me

[@mytruthbekind5793]

Narrow minded and controlling are things I have been working on. It is awesome to open up and let go. It gets easier over time.

[@stephanvillavicencio5679]

I love the part where you say "INFJs are like the parents in home alone where they ignore new information until they realize what they left at home (pause) Kevin!"

[@allanapaoli1503]

I remember watching this a while ago and getting so offended (I'm an INFP) lol but after having a better understanding of myself and INFPs I see that this video is actually super helpful, specially to watch out dangerous tendencies that I have. Thanks, Frank

[@rurublu9614]

frank i just discovered your videos and i have to say that the character development your hair went through is magnificent

[@bendingbananas6540]

right?? something in him just changed

[@nyxlecatte]

This video is actually really interesting to me because my sister is INFP and I'm INFJ (we did the Myers Briggs test several times over the years) and we're really close and very similar in many regards. But it's also so interesting to have someone explain the differences between us that we've both witnessed before, especially the reaction to problems. She's currently ignoring/ghosting everyone because she's having a stressful exam phase. And I'm sure I've been ignoring something but I'm not even sure what it was by that point and it's making me paranoid. But we're a good team so that's fine.

[@Partyfreak]

First test: INFP. The 2nd time I was INFJ (decisive category: 51%/49%). So this was kind of confusing, but this vid and the comments really made me realize I'm an INFP 😂

[@Enzo-pr1mj]

Got the 2 results too, but really I can't really relate 100% to neither one of them but like, both?

[@denisesiddon7241]

Typing back and forth between these two types for months and also isfp. I've finally realised I'm infp

[@navparadise]

omg infp is so accurate. i’ve started a new job and my only fear is that i won’t have the same friendships with my colleagues that they have with one another

[@jedhigh1443]

I did same few weeks ago. Then I was like wait I here for cash and if I make friends that’s cool. I don’t really seem have much in common with folks there anyway. So I just do my thing and go home.

[@loverrlee]

Oof that one hurt a little it was so relatable 💔