Inflammatory Bowel Disease's Impact on Sex and Relationships 💩

[@lavitorroja2632]

As a gay man, having a fissure due to digestive issues is the most annoying thing to explain. It's ingrained in my community to think of anal sex as the only option.

[@Faith-sr8zw]

My ex has crohn’s and it manifested to his social anxiety which inevitably spiralled and broke down our relationship. It’s not the condition itself (because I couldn’t care less) but the MENTAL HEALTH IMPLICATIONS it causes

[@ghastlighter]

weird timing! im a nursing student and i had a lecture about IBD today. looking forward to bringing this up in our discussion group tomorrow 😄 sex and relationships are such a huge part of our patients’ lives and it’s always overlooked!

[@MeetSupergirl]

Tiny thing to point out - Crohn's can also show up in your mouth. Source: the symptom that finally got me diagnosed was my weird mouth ulcers!

[@xqueseraserax]

My husbands crohns was diagnosed due to a chronic eye issue, which is just wild to me.

[@Yourmomma160]

I have crohns (mostly in my colon) but I keep getting chronic tonsillitis… I’m starting to think it’s crohns in my tonsils 😢

[@jessicastevens5782]

re: doctors & sex - was diagnosed w/hemorrhoids @ 18 & had to have surgery to remove @ 22 (no discussion of bowel movements or why I was getting them). when I went for post-surgical check up & to have stitches removed, surgeon pulled a disgusted face and yelled: why are you having anal sex? Um, I wasn't (the poo that'd been causing hemorrhoids didn't miraculously disappear, and was quite painful). a doctor whose entire job is rectums should know how to handle both anal sex and no anal sex conversations way better than that.

[@timmer13]

I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. Doctors should be more professional than that. 💕

[@Sophie_Cleverly]

I had that accusation several times too, often not sensitively 🙈

[@WaffleSalad]

First of all so messed up that that doctor reacted so unprofessionally that way. Second I’m a little confused as to why he thought you’d had anal? Just bc you had bowel movements??

[@jessicastevens5782]

@@WaffleSalad sadly, he's not the worst I've experienced. he didn't explain, but some decades later, I think I have larger bowel movements than normal due to redundant colon, and the stool softeners they gave me did nothing, so yeah stitches were pretty painful & I imagine the area experienced more trauma during healing.

[@WaffleSalad]

@@jessicastevens5782 ouch that sounds painful😣

[@analaloo4371]

I love the way you educate me on things and be like „yeah it sucks. But its just life, isn‘t it?!“ A lot of things in life just happen to you and you decide how you cope with it and handle it 😊

[@daisywilliams2779]

Hi Hannah great video! I especially found this interesting as as well as being a mental health doctor, my partner has UC and this time last year had a total panproctocolectomy and now has a permanent stoma. (He found your video on permenant stoma vs J pouch with people talking about their experience really helpful to help think about what surgery to have.) Thank you for being so open and honest! x

[@Kiriafycso]

I have Crohn's and it impacts everything so much! People have no idea.

[@Kiriafycso]

Body image is such a huge issue for me. Of course I already had problems with my body image pre-diagnosis but it honestly did kinda wreck me that I didn't get skinny from Crohn's (Since my Crohns is in the colon) despite that being the sign that is mentioned all the times.

[@IshAmethyst]

As a recent graduate from medical school who is now working as a Foundation Year 1 Doctor in the NHS 100% love and appreciate videos like this, which help share the patient perspective! Although I have absolutely no desire to be a surgeon, my training still includes surgical rotations and even in my non-surgical rotations I am coming across patients with stomas/IBD so this is super helpful. Also from a healthcare professional's perspective would also like to shout out stoma nurses for being absolutely excellent, they're my first port of call when I have a question about helping a patient manage their stoma-related symptoms! I would also be interested to know the impact of IBS on sex & relationships, it's obviously less severe of a condition but still causes some similar symptoms - such as bloating and changes in bowel habit. I'm also currently under investigation by a gastroenterologist & so have periods of experiencing bloating/abdo pain/diarrhoea & whether it's IBD, IBS or something else & oh my days, strong relate to the impact of bloating on body image! Plus it's just uncomfy & I'm glad my partner couldn't care less about how much burping I do :')

[@camillasoderbaum3871]

As someone with IBS I can also relate to this video. I got lucky and my husband also has it. Not always romantic but the understanding is fantastic. If one needs to cancel plans last minute or had a flare up and the mood just takes a nosedive. But what has worked for us with the shame part is communication. Although I still feel a lot of shame around bathroom habits at other people or in public.

[@BeautyByHan]

I've had UC for 10 years now and I loved this so so so much. So many things that I don't think I've really heard anywhere else and really important. Thanks Hannah, you're a star

[@pauliejane2669]

Thanks Hannah, I could relate to so much of this. I started watching your channel because I was struggling with these exact questions about my sexuality and my health. I have shed many tears considering the impact of surgery on my body image and, my ability to have intimacy when I often feel so embarrassed and ashamed about my body. I’m so glad you mentioned voluntary childlessness; I’ve felt for many years that having children was not going to be part of my life, but explaining why felt bizarre when it just seemed to make sense to me. Thanks for discussing how common this is in people with IBD.

[@emi_fern]

thanks to everyone who shared their experiences for this video, really provided valuable perspective!

[@Rose-hh7mk]

I love how Hannah talks about aspects of sex that nobody talks about

[@jessicastevens5782]

1.6 mil in the US are *diagnosed w/it, but it is still underdiagnosed, despite pretty clear clinical markers.

[@lauradonk5688]

Thanks for this video. As a former UC patient, now with a pouch, I sadly recognize a lot of the problems mentioned. Luckily for me, it's mostly been solved now thanks to good additional care

[@cariiinen]

Loved hearing all the voices from your viewers

[@LolasTBs]

Loved the summary and all the research! Could you provide some sources in the description or something like that? I think it would make the video even more valuable! ❤

[@rachierelish]

Such perfect timing! Just been diagnosed with UC at 7 months post-partum so a lot of feelings mixed up with diagnosis/post-partum confidence. Mostly just feeling bad for my poor sweet kind husband! I feel very grateful to have such a great supportive husband, but the fear of not know what impact UC will have on our sex life long term is hard.

[@TheLunarFire]

Literally have been watching your videos for years and now it turns out I have UC as well...great timing for some UC related videos

[@ellenforster6822]

In the new tv series of Boiling Point on BBC iPlayer (follows on from that film) one of the characters has Crohns and she experiences really tough issues with intimacy with her partner and struggles to talk about it at first, first time I've seen this sort of realistic representation on screen.

[@chickpeapeace]

thank you for making this video Hannah! i wanted to email you an idea for a video but idk how to so i'll comment here i saw a person on tumblr talking about how they heard a trans woman talking about what most people would refer to as "penetrative sex" and how she sees it not as penetration but as 'being engulfed' and i thought that was a really interesting take about queer sex and subverting gender roles and the associated dominance with the act of penetration/piv sex. would really love for you to make a video on that sort of topic because it never occurred to me to think of penis and vagina sex as something other than penetration and how the language around piv sex is like patriarchal even in feminist descriptions of sex

[@nurichbinhier2864]

There's also the description as "circulating sex" focusing more on the vagina part

[@dragana]

I'm aware Hannah is not a doctor but when discussing the "three main factors" it didn't include how gut health/function is also deeply correlated to hormone regulation IN GENERAL (ie even basic things like progesterone, estrogen, cortisol, etc), thus impacting libido, mood, various functions, etc I was VERY confused. Like is this still hidden from the general public or ibd patients? I can't imagine so, given all the years of hype over "super foods", kombucha and wee-woo yogurt fix-your-flora commercials hehehe but I was just genuinely shocked it didn't come up beyond mention of the anti-muellerian thing..... and while research on it specifically is limited, the gut-adrenal and gut-pmdd connection is, at this point, pretty well documented. I suppose it was a little bit of an aside/more medical than the psych-social focus of the video? Anyway, just thought I would at least mention it in the comments since I do see other people commenting on it/asking questions in regard to this.

[@vi6126]

Very interesting video as always, Hannah. If you want to make similar videos on sexuality and medical conditions in the future, may I suggest epilepsy? It doesn't impact the mechanics of sex. But some anti-seizure medications can affect hormonal birth control, people's own hormone levels and pregnancy. Mental health problems and sexual dysfunction are also more common in people with epilepsy compared to the general population. Of course it's very understandable if you prefer to only talk about IBD because that's what you have personal experience with.

[@zapfanzapfan]

Space shuttle on the necklace? I approve! 🖖

[@CommonSandpiper]

You always make the most interesting and important videos!!

[@tess6536]

I appreciate your videos on IBD a lot. My father was diagnosed at 45, fortunately he has had quite manageable symptoms except for one severe flare up (that didn't require hospitalisation). I've suspected that I might have it as well but the healthcare system hasn't been very helpful at ruling it out or confirming. Two of the physicians I've seen about my gastrointestinal issues have said that I probably don't have IBD because it's more common in (cis)men so they didn't think it was worth exploring. I'd be curious to know if this is a common occurrence.

[@ClareDiston]

Fun fact! I'm a medical research proofreader, and most scientific journals ask me to check that research papers don't use terms like 'IBD patient' - I have to change it to 'patient with IBD', so the patient isn't labelled with their disease :)

[@thenopedetective]

Interesting! Has this changed at all with certain self-identifiers (ex. Autism) becoming more common or since it's medical does it stay with "person first" langua?

[@RebelGun4]

Thank you so much for this! I also have UC (though luckily very manageable right now) and when I asked OBGYN if anal was safe for me and she said “ask your gastroenterologist.” My gastroenterologist is an old man who knows his stuff and is a great surgeon, but not very approachable. On one hand I understand that the lower GI tract isn’t her field (maybe a liability thing too) and I guess she’s not a sex educator, but I was still frustrated that she brushed me off and her tone of voice and body language was very judgey and dismissive. Just made me feel shamed and unsafe confiding in her or sharing. So I got a new OBGYN.

[@IceNixie0102]

As someone with IBS (and kids) I 100% agree with all of this. It sucks when my partner and I FINALLY get some alone time, but I'm in a flare up and all we can do is snuggle on the couch. Might be handy to have a fecal fetish but eww.

[@coolestfoolish]

I have UC as well and my husband has an ileostomy. Sex is a science experiment with an inevitable blue ribbon! Love it.

[@rribbonss]

I hope you and your family & friends are safe

[@haleriam]

Great video Hannah & team! (Also - your hair looks amazing Hannah!!)

[@fenlandwildlifeclips]

Just recently re-discovered your channel. I care about my hubby very much, but there has been zero & I mean zero intimacy for YEARS. We used to have an enviable sex life. Now he refuses to talk to me about his issues. I've been trying to work out how to talk to him about this for years but he just clams up. To add insult to injury, I have recently had breast cancer & have had a singled masectomy. I now have zero sex life (not through choice) & I get very frustrated and now body image issues too. He never even gives me compliments any more or says he loves me. I can't leave him: he has health issues & no one else cares enough to make sure he's okay & I don't want to leave him anyway. Beautiful women are NEVER depicted with one boob. How do I deal with this? Given the number of women with breast cancer, can you cover this & also female frustration is sexless marriages. Both these issues are taboo. Even within breast cancer support groups, people just don't talk about the impact on body image & sex life. It feels like I am invisible. There are one or no boobed influencers but their followers are all women. There's no one I can talk to. No one knows how this is making me feel. It's come up in medical conversations with doctors & they have never even questioned how I feel about it all. There seems to be an assumption that men have the higher sex drive but it's just not true. I've always had a higher sex drive & I am constantly frustrated & I feel ugly. I feel unattractive & I don't know how to deal with this & I know I'm not alone. With 55,000 women being diagnosed with breast cancer every year in the UK alone, I can't possibly be alone.

[@thenopedetective]

It's unfortunate that it's impossible to love someone into caring. Do you have access to therapy to start prioritizing your own care?

[@TheYaemin]

Very informative. Thank you so much for posting this video.

[@ab-mc2nq]

as a crohnie, thx for making this. I learned a lot

[@IceNixie0102]

Also... get a waterproof mattress pad. That way your mattress stays spotless no matter what goes down (your GI tract) in the middle of the night. Also I keep adult incontinence products (pullups) in my bathroom. If my gut is acting up, I will 100% proactively sleep in one. No one like to do a 3am change the sheets.

[@Sophie_Cleverly]

Oh god, this is my life. Can't believe I missed the Insta questions. But tbh I have so much to say about my experience with Crohn's and relationship stuff I could do a whole video to myself 😂 Trying to be vaguely brief... Aside from all the obvious stuff discussed in the video, I would say my main issues have been: 1. Having "rare" symptoms. This led me to be undiagnosed for 10 years and meant way more pain and suffering than necessary. (My mum is the same and so far the UK's specialists have only got as far as saying she has unspecified IBD.) I had to have an ileal resection and fistula surgery in traumatic circumstances. None of that was great for my relationship or self esteem! 2. Contraception has been a nightmare. Progesterone contraception kills my libido and causes me pain that was (wrongly?) diagnosed as "vulval Crohn's", so apparently that's a thing. Took years of different doctors and I eventually figured it out myself. Then the combined pill made my Crohn's flare. 🙈 As you can imagine, not being able to use any contraception without awful side effects is real anxiety inducing. On the plus side, my experience of having a kid was great. I went to a combined Crohn's-obstetrics clinic at my local hospital. Best and most well rounded care I've ever had. I miss it! Your point about holistic care is so true, I wish I was able to get that but outside of my pregnancy experience it has been basically impossible to find.

[@alphabetsnoop]

8:35 I have a combo. I have an ileal pouch but also an end stoma because my pouch failed. To remove the pouch is too risky at this time.

[@fouetteallday]

This is such an amazing video - Thank you for sharing it

[@sarahheinrich9453]

❤ thank you for that Video!

[@bryonyw4739]

My partner has UC and no one ever mentioned to him if it is safe for him to ttc whilst taking all the strong meds he's on, no mention ever on fertility etc. So I was constantly worried that we shouldn't have conceived a baby whilst he was on the meds.

[@thenopedetective]

Were you able to discuss it with with dr/OBGYN?

[@GeorgiannaMiller5]

I have SCA3, a progressive, degenerative neurological illness. Stress is a flareup waiting to happen

[@rribbonss]

I just noticed this says it was posted yesterday - not sure if that’s just the day it was up for patreons, or if it was public and didn’t show up in my subscriptions box ? youtube annoying if that’s the case :/

[@xtegen]

What an amazing video. Im glad you're on YT doing so many great videos about IBD! I particularly found the section on anal intercourse so interesting. I had not considered the effects IBD must have on gay men. Thanks for making this video!

[@umhello3733]

This was such a good video

[@abitofpaprika]

I have UC, I was suffering with it for a year before I went to see a doctor and gone through the process and now diagnosed. Before I knew what it was, I had a really tough 2 weeks of non-stop pain with constipation and then diarrhoea. Rinse and repeat. I could even sleep normal. I ended up falling asleep in the de-bloating yoga pose out of sheer exhaustion. My ex ended up breaking up with as part of it. I felt like such a burden.

[@BeingHuman-ho4fw]

Ma'am kindly share your diet plan for ulcerative colitis patient

[@youtubeuserremainsanonymou9022]

Does emphasizing foreplay related activities make it any easier for people with IBD to have sexual relationships?

[@Birdsandnature2]

I have ibs irritable bowel syndrome I know it's not the same thing but I can be painful as I get stomach spasms regularly

[@Ulthar_Cat]

Awesome video! 💜 I love youuu 💜🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

[@laurahrobinson]

Do you have a list of sources? I’m interested in the fact that Cronhs disease is correlated with low Anti-muellerian hormone (I have both). I’m wondering if it means Crohns disease affects ovarian reserve or if it artificially lowers AMH levels so it’s not accurately indicating ovarian reserve.

[@lauracm1715]

The video i needed

[@robertlawsonjr.2501]

Great Aunt Great Great Grandmother Great Aunt Hannah!♥️♥️♥️♥️ Love you!♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@RandomGuyyy]

J Pouch here and yes, I feel way better about my body now that I don't have a poo bag hanging off me. There's something about having a plastic prosthesis on you 24/7 that never lets you feel truly naked. The closest you get is "naked + stoma bag". Plus I can sleep on my stomach now!

[@naturalexpression]

Your necklace is so unique! Did someone make it for you?

[@constructingadditionalpylo8597]

My IBS means I don't get to cuddle my partner in the mornings because I IMMEDIATELY have to poop when I wake up 😔

[@smelly-y]

Ugh that's one of the worst side effects of a flare up 😫

[@saraluna_37]

Omg same!! I hate that

[@albin2232]

Good luck with every part of your life ❤

[@JocktanianWolf]

Here are a few things you should try (separately, not as a mix) and I believe you'll thank me: 1- Mint: and by that I mean fresh mint leaves with hot boiled water and simply drink it exactly like tea. Remember, fresh, not dried. The choice of boiling them WITH the water or just boiling plain water then adding the mint leaves in the hot water cup after is yours. 2- Aniseed: no need to worry about freshness in this case, so you can use aniseed bags (identical to tea bags), aniseed powder or whole aniseed. Again, same as mint leaves, you prepare and drink this exactly as you would tea. 3- Chamomile: Exactly as aniseed, you can use the bags, powder form or natural form, boil it in hot water and drink it as tea. Use a fine mesh skimmer to filter out the chamomile if you boil it with the water in its natural herbal form. For all three drinks adding sugar for flavor is optional. Note that none of the above are meant as a cure, but the immediate soothing effect of all three hot drinks is incredibly comforting and it should significantly improve the quality of your life. And the mint leaves are the only one that must be in fresh form (nothing more than 1 week old, preferably refrigerated. If the leaves color changes from rich green to yellowish or slightly brownish from storage then get rid of them, they may do more harm than good or at the very least be ineffective).

[@c.morland]

Thanks

[@GirliestMammy]

💖

[@emmabarnes609]

hi

[@blubistheword]

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[@cfgp]

8:32 with a j-pouch, do sphincters still work? i understand that with a stoma, stuff comes out as it goes along, but i would imagine that if it comes out of your butt, you would need a functional sphincter?

[@marrrti28]

Yes, they do. The sphincter is kept when they remove the colon and create a J-Pouch. No functioning sphincter, no J-Pouch (at least as far as I know)

[@cfgp]

@@marrrti28 ok. that makes sense. thanks! :)

[@Sidistic_Atheist]

It doesn't redress the removal of the male G spot..

[@dcashley303]

This video was not poo 💩

[@Joseph-jw3he]

I’d take you take care of you

[@hondsdol7671]

There are many reason why silicone sexdolls getting populair nowadays... Can you imagine how terrible women have to be to make this industry possible?

[@roseblack3436]

😂😂😂

[@hondsdol7671]

@@roseblack3436 "The year is 2030.... Most men have sexbots. W0men in desperation yell, "THEY DON'T LOVE YOU LIKE A REAL HUMAN BEING!" Men whisper back, "Neither do you."

[@EuropeDominate]

Does your husband know how many sexual partners you've had?

[@JessicaChastainFan]

Not his business to know, unless she allows it.

[@rc31802]

Wtf. How is that relevant? Or any of your business.

[@TheYasmineFlower]

Does your mom know you're being a racist troll on KZbin?

[@Jiddy12345]

Hey, there's this cool thing going around people are doing and it's called minding their own business....

[@EuropeDominate]

@@JessicaChastainFan Its his business 100%. Also note how she's all about transparency and openness until it comes to the things that matter