INFP - Love, Dating and Relationships

[@dynov3946]

i feel like INFP's just don't date in order to keep their vision of a perfect date

[@syahrulshiddiq9733]

its the work of Si-child's loyalty, but they may be loyal to a fault because of their tendencies of always wanting to see good in people who hurt them or righting the wrong. I am an INFP myself btw

[@MrKillswitch88]

I say there is a lot more to it at least for the males as such isn't in vogue in this garbage society and unfortunately the ideal western male (the non chad version) is a cement block that is also a beta provider.

[@INFPinSA]

I can relate to that but it wasn't really my experience. Dating and romance were exhilarating for me, really scratched my itch for exploration and curiosity, if that makes sense

[@speedyboi349]

Idk if its that or i cant trust anyone or just i don't feel comfortable with the fact that someday you could get emotionally attached to somebody to just loose them and wreck yourself

[@raindropsonroses3919]

Very true. I prefer my idyllic romantic partners, to anyone I’ve actually dated

[@whitneyhoustonstan2472]

An infp would rather write or imagine their entire date than undergo the unpredictability of a real one

[@kristlecasey9506]

Yh u caught me 😳😳

[@mlandry491]

ooof! 😳youre not wrong. sucks. but youre not wrong. because good writers draw from experience, lines blurr. imagined heartache & rl heartache are identical twins. The tears impossible to tell apart. before the adrenaline of the first kiss, my mind can crush my spirit with an imagined parting. Fear of this can attach a body more to a pen than a person. truth.

[@michaelbarbera6222]

Holy shit

[@RosheenQuynh]

So painfully true...

[@pamboutilier3509]

...

[@evelynmary5050]

I am INFP. I've never been in a romantic relationship. One year ago I got to know a boy ENFJ who lives on the other part of the world. Now I'm in the process of moving there so we can date. Wish me luck. Life is too short not to be crazy. UPDATE : IM FLYING TO VANCOUVER JANUARY 17TH AND WILL FINALLY MEET HIM UPDATE 2 : I WILL MEET HIM FUCKING NEXT WEEK UPDATE 3 : WE'RE DATING

[@sharpiesarecool814]

omg love itttt. go gurl!

[@pippy959]

This is so INFP! Good luck!! 💚😊

[@writingthug]

Good luck. When I was younger, I met a couple of people through digital bulletin boards who became romantic partners for a time. Yup, I'm that old.

[@nourelhouda2628]

I love this!

[@uhdiva]

ARE YOU GUYS HAPPILY DATING NOW

[@RC-md4dd]

I am an INFP and I’ve been married to an ENTJ for 25 years. ❤He is cute, bossy, romantic, annoyingly intelligent and very patient 😁

[@Grimilliana]

Ooh!! Cute!! I really like this couple (entj and infp)!

[@hollylanevintagetreasures]

I also am an INFP married to an ENTJ. He is confident, patient, funny, sweet, smart, at times arrogant but it cracks me up. 😄

[@mangomadnnesss]

Marry an ENTJ. Noted

[@garbageMoonkey5834]

Thank you, I was wondering if I would seen to be too bossy to INFPs girls.

[@jenniferpazmino7139]

I'm an INFP and relationships are beyond difficult. Everybody knows I'm a good listener and they get my full attention every single time they need to unload, but nobody is ever there for me. Any time I'm upset about ANYTHING !!!!! I have to keep it to myself, any time I express displeasure the people around me act like someone just blasted THE WORST SMELLING FART EVER. It's so unfair!! I rarely lose my shit, but everyone around me does it all the time. It's just so much easier and more peaceful to be alone. I'd like to have a few nice people in my life, but after being burned severely, so many times, I'm not willing to try again.

[@sbear4616]

omg i can totally relate 😮

[@Vkim._]

Same here even though I am enfp

[@artprincess3996]

Hey! I can really relate to this. It's so frustating to always be the 'calm' one when everyone else are wreaking havoc. It's so unfair that I am there to empathize them but nobody has the time to do the same for me.

[@zayanhiin8950]

Find online messaging friends for fun and benefit exchange between you and different cultures of people

[@jarrahdahlenburg7785]

I’m an ENTP I understand but I find you guys so severely detached from reality it’s scary. They express feelings through wild delusional claims and accusations simply untrue and entirely false and that’s why people get frustrated and go off at them

[@lisaamoroso1737]

Haha I'm an INFP and I've never actually dated. I think I have such high standards for a partner and a relationship that I'm happier and more comfortable being by myself and reading about those relationships in books.

[@sharpiesarecool814]

that's actually a pretty beautiful way of living too

[@sash8099]

This is actually quite common for Infps and some Infjs. I've even met an Enfp and Esfj in the same boat.

[@nevamoore5192]

A ground line for me, is having a decent amount of emotional intelligence, and willingness to really listen. Self awareness is good too. Unfortunately that is not particularly easy to find. But then again I can't really talk since I don't get out much...

[@sash8099]

@@nevamoore5192 Self awareness is rare. Most people don't introspect.

[@amalksuresh2538]

Same here

[@Imaginarie]

I'm an INFP in a relationship with an ISFJ. She is very patient with me when I go on endlessly about the things I’m passionate about. I can open up and talk about my feelings easily and without any pressure or judgment. She’s probably one of the few people with whom I actually feel understood and accepted for who I am.

[@kelleynele]

youre so lucky. an ISFJ is precisely what i’ve wanted for the longest time

[@na.1971]

My bestfriend is an ISFJ and i agree. she may not understand me fully but i can definitely see her effort. She makes me feel so loved😭✨

[@roy.shrestha]

ISFJs are perfect partners/friends for us INFPs. One of my best friends is an ISFJ

[@aederiyan]

my ex was an ISFJ and my Si is still scratching me everyday hAHA

[@alexandra9944]

I also have a special ISFJ in my life. We are from different worlds but somehow meet in the middle. Communication is key though because without it and patience there would be too many misunderstandings.

[@schrijveromnia]

I'm an INFP. My greatest hobby is writing. My husband is an ESTJ. I tell him where I want the story to go and he helps me find the logical path my characters would take. We're a dream team in that regard.

[@sash8099]

Estj or Entj? Are you Infp or Isfp? Estj and Infp are a total disaster in the making. No compatibility whatsoever.

[@schrijveromnia]

@@sash8099 ESTJ. Not a disaster at all. Weshare the same first 4 functions, just in different order. We both have Ne and Te, so we talk a lot about the same stuff. We both have Fi and Si so we understand each other's Deeper rooted values. We're the perfect examples of 'opposites attract'. Basicaly his strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa. We compliment each other and we communicate similarly.

[@RealTruth27]

Wow it seems nice.. I'm INFP (son) and my mother is ESTJ and it feels like ESTJ eats INFP and not gonna take any burp. I'm really scared of ESTJs. I love my mother when she is in good mood & supporting me for my dreams.

[@RealTruth27]

@@sash8099 I agree. INFP 🔥 ESTJ Its life threatening 😂

[@schrijveromnia]

@@RealTruth27 Having an ESTJ mother is much different from having an ESTJ partner. Partners don't raise each other that way, the relationship has always been equal. That helps :)

[@ruthlessfairy]

INFJ here with an INFP partner, we share such a great connection on emotional and physical levels, best match I ever had.

[@SoniaJbrt]

Me and my husband arw both INFP. So, we sit next to each other, watching a movie, but really communicating with body language just how much we love each other. And that is really suttle. Just a glance, just a hand gesture, a little smile, and next thing you know we both are blushing and laughing and making jokes, totally ignoring the movie. That's date night for us.

[@val.2024]

I heard that 2 INFPs don’t work, because they have the same flaws. However, clearly, it has. How do you manage that?

[@theflashgordon193]

That sounds so cute 😂

[@litinupcito2044]

Me an ixtp:intresting

[@CaveyMoth]

Being lost in music... Yes! I would never just put music on just to play it in the background. I focus all of my attention on music when listening to it. It's one of the most important things to me. Being in a relationship is similar to me. I focus on my partner 100%. I always want them to be with me, to share feelings with, to be lost in. Being away from them for a few hours can be painful. But being reunited with them again is deeply healing. I don't know where I'm going with this. Just gushy wushy talk.

[@jaylynpayne1]

We are the same

[@aederiyan]

Same

[@cameronb4086]

Every time I try to explain the music thing to someone they don’t understand. I feel like an alien or something that I rarely listen to music in the car.

[@aurora_boketto7746]

Same I feel like I put way to much into a relationship. I just care to much and with music it's just so deep and emotional sometimes I can't help but attach feelings to it

[@downer2722]

Do you guys also easily memorize lyrics?i mean its not even just the lyrics i can sing along to the guitar solos without failling a note,its pretty useless but still amazing.

[@EmmaSimmonsViolin]

INFP with an INTP for 6 years - communication can be difficult (especially making choices), but we both see the world in such intense detail we create a beautiful dream world together. Basic chores tend to be procrastinated, and deadlines are usually forgotten...we are an angsty mess together.

[@goldenrain7421]

😂😂 infp and intp are so bad with deadlines good luck with that

[@captainpapership1892]

@@goldenrain7421 Hmm, I don't think Deadlines are a Problem for me. Chores though... They definitely are :D

[@judykappeler6963]

Me too, 17 years. Same great appreciation. I am curious if diminished empathy of your INTP is much of a problem.

[@rustycage7491]

I think as an INFP I generally am not fond of the idea around dating/courting not because I lack a sense of romanticism quite the contrary. The concept of dating has always been one of opportunism seeking to meet a qualification of standards rather that an attempt at a genuine connection this is even more evident in todays dating culture which is nothing short of toxic, where everyone just looks for the bigger better deal until something even better may come along or you poke holes in a relationship you deem to much of a hassle to patch. It truly lacks any real love but people mainly do it because they are bored or can't stand the idea of being single or enjoy their own company. As far as Te I feel mine resembles more of Ti not necessarily because it scrutinizes relentlessly but because it leans towards more of an objective consensus and more mentally so. I do wish I had higher conscientiousness which would correlate to the behavioral organization and structure you describe which often results in objective goal setting but I also know that it will come at a cost of compromising myself to the expectations and judgments of others and that is conflicting with my Fi

[@mitalivaidya8512]

You described me perfectly, and worded it beautifully too

[@danution7970]

Love you💞 (infj)

[@ijjekova]

Very well said.

[@cinthiagoch]

I think, overall, people put too much pressure into dating/courting. That's why I tried to skip over the process whenever I could. (INTP here, by the way.) The whole idea of courting had always seemed artificial to me, so I never bothered with it. And no, I'm not that pretty, I could never pick and choose among the droves of swooning men at my feet (before anyone comes at me with some misogynistic BS on these lines). When I felt like going to parties and kissing strangers, I'd just go and do just that, hardly any questions asked. When I felt like having a long-lasting and meaningful relationship, I looked around at people with whom I already had a connection, and who might be interested to take our friendship to other levels. Some didn't end well, but every experience and mistake allows you to learn, grow, mature. That's just... life. Yeah, it hurts like hell sometimes, but not all the time. Huzzah for contrast! I think people rush these things expecting a certain outcome instead of taking each day as it comes, and they do it with people they hardly know and end up hurting themselves and the other person. You can't forge a strong friendship in a couple of weeks, what makes people think they can find their soulmate in a couple of dates? It makes no sense! You can't forge feelings and connections out of thin air. Let them form naturally and give them a little nudge here and there if you want them to grow into different directions. If they don't, no amount of romancing and courting will make this relationship work smoothly. It can work, yeah, kind of, but a lot of things can work for a long time while still being partially broken. Eventually, they break down altogether. Unless you learn how to fix them before that happens. Because, you know, mechanical analogies are perfect for emotional problems! Heart, pumps, all that jazz. Either that or my Ti is showing, idunno. Having dished out these great nuggets of wisdom... ... my friends always said I had a heart made of ice, and I find the notion of being romantic toward nearly complete strangers kinda creepy, so what do I know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@bbjudyfit]

Wow well said!

[@DuBrot]

I am an INFP and I have been in a relationship with an INFJ for 5 years. He fully understands me and my feelings, never judges and loves me for who I am. What you described is 100% true and in fact it is very important for me to have someone by my side who is able to understand or even feel my deep connection to nature, music or our planet. My ex-partner was an ISFJ and he understood it too, but in the end his type could not accept me for who I am and always wanted to change me instead of just letting me be like an INFJ.

[@amyitis]

On behalf of INFJs.....you're welcome 😂 JK. That's beautiful that you're both able to provide for each other and support each other. It's good to know love is still possible! ❤

[@chrissynovful]

I have watched all of, if not most of your videos, and this is the first time I feel confident in being an INFP. In any relationship I have, the fun and laughs and connecting turns to fear of over staying my welcome. On the outside, cool and reserved. The inside? A squirrel in traffic.

[@janehuffleclaw1962]

OMG Same😍😍😍

[@alisonfisher1877]

An inner chaotic environment usually manifests as a desire to control the immediate external environment, i.e. the impression others get of someone. Blending your personal experience of order and chaos is a great way to tap into your creativity. 😊

[@freyashipley6556]

I do respond deeply to beauty, but to me it often feels more like a hunger for the truth of the human experience. (I guess that's what Keats was talking about?) When I get a transcendent kick from art, it's like a sense of, "That's it! That's the real truth!!" I think that's also why we INFPs are so ready to dive into darkness: because we're drawn to truth/realness whether it's joyful or not.

[@deadmanwalking1930]

INFP married to ESTJ, though she is more ambivert. At the start of our relationship it was very tough, almost divorced many times in first couple of years of marriage. Now been married for for 14 years. We still have hard times but we love each other. But I will say if we did split up for any reason I would be single until I die.

[@helenamartinelli1445]

@Gabriela Lima eu eu eu eu eu

[@raindropsonroses3919]

How???? 😂 Estjs are my worst nightmare (no disrespect guys, I admire you, it’s just you also TERRIFY me)

[@ifonlyunu994]

I know one ESTJ female Male INFP. Divorced after 30 years:( I hope u guys make it.

[@deadmanwalking1930]

@@ifonlyunu994 anyone can divorce regardless of personality. I've seen 2 infps divorce after a few years together when very different types last longer. To have 30 years together is pretty good regardless of type.

[@deadmanwalking1930]

@@raindropsonroses3919 many see estjs as heartless monsters but my wife is absolutely not like that. She is one of the kindest people I ever met. They really aren't so bad though depends on person, as with any type.

[@j03150315]

As much as I loved to be satisfied with the relationship with this ESTJ guy, the times which he told me “this is life. Stop whining.” Even during the time when I was devastated by my father’s cancer and passing. Eventually I decided to end this all. Too much pain.

[@DjokovicIsOurLordAndSaviour]

Wow, that is cold.

[@msandls]

I'm sorry for your loss...

[@writingthug]

I am an INFP married to an ISTJ. We have a deep love and respect for each other, which makes the relationship work. Communication is really the key for staying together 23 years.

[@manifest2963]

I am INFP, bf is ENTJ and it feels great knowing I can get support to organize and plan life events. He says I bring playfulness and creativity to his life. We are a good match and elevate each other together.

[@MrBOBhakimipendobombies]

Good to know -entj

[@PaperMicShow]

Advice me - entj

[@Pandatwirly]

Nice!! INFP here who recently divorced my ENTJ mate of over 20 years. We got along extremely well but he was so closed off and driven that I guess he didn’t value my chill, creative nature. Over the years his impatience (and my discomfort) grew to the point he’d get irritated/angry anytime I’d talk about something I enjoyed, which was only once a week at breakfast on Saturdays. When asked why he’d gotten so agitated, he said it was exhausting trying to follow my train of thought waiting for the point. (To be fair I always say my train of thought has no tracks lol). He said, “I just wait for you to be finished so I can get on with my day.” As an INFP this was devastating to hear as I rarely talk about myself in the first place. So it elates me to read that this pairing worked so well! I still think it’s a good match but of course best with two self-aware, emotionally mature people. 🙌🥰💗 I heard that any successful relationship has 3 things: kindness, understanding and shared vulnerability. Have to agree! 💗 Much love to everyone 💗

[@Toranghu]

Watching this to understand my two INFP friends better (and not step on their feet) 😁

[@Toranghu]

@PeterKartal1 Lucky me 😉

[@Toranghu]

@yoo chunyoung's Kind of you to say that, thank youuu 😊 I want to consider their stance and view on things, respect and the will to understand are important in a good and healthy friendship. I bet you have nice friends as well, you are a friendly and warm person after all 💚🌻

[@Toranghu]

@yoo chunyoung's Glad that it made you smile 😉 I am an INTP, which is the exact reason why I worry a bit about being too rough at times 😁

[@user-of4kk4in9f]

INFP here. Boss and one sibling are ESTJs while partner is INTJ. I prefer the INTJ frankly as we get into much deeper discussions than my ESTJ relationships which can seem superficial. they dont really get me but INTJ does - as much as possible!

[@bgm769-g2k]

Best friend of mine in college was INTJ. We had the same type of relationship as you describe. INTJs also seem to need their alone time, so I imagine a romantic relationship would be INFP and INTJ spending a lot of time separately. I love that my INTJ friend would think about efficiency and he helped show me some more efficient ways to organize to allow for more time to myself. My speculation is that maybe both types are quite passive in romance and each would be waiting for the other to woo them -- even in an established relationship. An ESTJ, ENFJ, or ESTJ might be more the pursuant type to woo an INFP. From memory, ENFP is supposed to be a good match for INTJ as ENFP since they have the same sense of wonder as INFP, but they show it all on the outside and are extraverted.

[@user-of4kk4in9f]

@@bgm769-g2k so funny but in fact me and INTJ partner spend our alone time togeher often, reading and sometimes discussing or just watching tv.We can be bit romantically passive i agree but the biggest issue is for me (INFP) not to mistake harmony for intimacy and make an effort to communicate verbally my inner world using Te language.

[@bgm769-g2k]

@@user-of4kk4in9f yeah that INTJ friend and I talked a lot about societal problems and trying to speculate about things related to economics, history, philosophy, political philosophy, etc. So I guess I had really developed my Te through high school and then even more in college. I'd say becoming a very good writer (like school essays and papers) and learning to express yourself linearly and logically as well as being involved in organized activities where there is leadership and responsibility help develop Te a lot. A college thesaurus from the 70s was one of my most used books in elementary school (I was born in '95 jsyk). I think there is this misunderstanding that Fi or Fe can never be explained logically, but Rational Choice Theory (aka Game Theory) also has a concept called "bounded rationality" which essentially just means that everyone has different preferences for what they want -- this is why some people sink huge money into certain items or hobbies while others don't. And this is in line to with utilitarianism. Beyond that too, virtue ethics for example is the idea that certain virtues and ideals are what people ought to strive toward. All this to say that it absolutely is possible to start with values, ideals, and intuitive feelings, to then use logic to construct a system around it. The first step is learning (by way of lots of writing, reading, and using tools like thesaurus and dictionary) to express how you feel. That friend of mine didn't always know how he felt about certain things or how to show his emotions (Fi is an auxiliary function of INTJ), but he was mature enough to get by and be cognizant of his emotions and others'. I think it's also natural that people learn to develop their inferior functions as they become adults. It's not their strength, but it's sufficient

[@user-of4kk4in9f]

@@PapaGolfRomeo As INFP i do hate communcating tbe deeper feelings but love talking about non- threatening things. I have not completely succeeded in intimate communication. It takes us more courage than we think we possess.. However a zoom. chat would be something your INFP could handle to bridge the gap. INFPs hate having security threatened however INTJs see right through us and we cant keep making excuses. Yes it sucks that you always start the important talks and we just coast along, disappear for hours doing something creative and then reappear. When confronted we can get very TE and critical but would prefer a life where no one gets mad ever, especially ourselves. But we need to stop suppressing for everyone's sake. Help your INFP feel that them expressing their negative emotions actually makes you feel *closer* to them, not further. it's a light bulb moment when we realise that. If you can handle this great. If you have an INFP who actually wants to try and do better you have gold. Our ability to search and explore fits so well with your honing and editing approach and we can do great things together. Sorry to ramble. Hope it helps.

[@user-of4kk4in9f]

@@PapaGolfRomeo thanks! I hope my personal experiences with my INTJ partner have helped you clarify things. We really are good together, when INFP isn't lazy about getting real.

[@kate4733]

As an infp I constantly fall for ENFPs. Best relationships have been with enfps. We’re so similar that we just get each other on many levels, but they’re more in the present moment and optimistic than I am so they give my cynical spirit a lift and get me out of my head when I’m stuck in it.

[@winxclubstellamusa]

I think EN types are definitely the best match for us! ENTPs are my personal favorites. I’ve yet to meet an ENFP in real life, but I’d love to!

[@melonoire]

I'm an ENFP and I fell inlove with an INFP :3

[@Borboleta1212]

Yes!! Ambivert INFP here and one of my closest and deepest friendships is with an ENFP who also has introvert tendencies

[@Pandorash8]

One of my best friends of 25 years is in an INFP, and I am an ENFP. We have recently started dating. Not sure how it’s going to go, as I typically am attracted to opposite types (my late husband was an amazing ISTJ). But you never know if you never try❣️

[@jeanettebjaras2470]

I'm and ISFJ married to an INFP. I really agree with what you said about them being cynical in some aspects of life but being able to see beauty in the rarest things. He will stand for an hour watching our hens having a sand bath for example. And it's really hard to say if he is a romantic person or not, because he is not traditionally romantic, though in his own way he is extemely romantic but in a very individual quirky way (INFP after all). My best friend is also an INFP (one who absulutely mastered the art of to-do-lists and organization) and generally I can say that I have started to assume that people I am instantly liking are INFPS since that often turns out to be the case when investigated. What's not to like about them? Their positive aspects are wonderful, and their negative aspects are just made to make an ISFJ feel needed.

[@sharpiesarecool814]

aw that's beautiful. I love ISFJs so much

[@littleforfeited]

aww man, If only some isfjs accept me like you do.

[@Pandatwirly]

😍🥰💗💗💗💗💗 thanks for this!

[@zerbstablackthunder3514]

"Seeing beauty in everything." Now I know where the optimistic mindset came from. Just can't help seeing the beauty in everything.

[@lovewho]

It really is a prominent trait I’ve noticed with INFPs. It’s awesome that you relate to it! ~ Nathan

[@risaboring]

I’m an infp married to an istp. We’re a great compliment. He’s highly intelligent and inspires me to go from planning projects to actually completing (or at least working on) projects. It took some time, but he understands that while he may not need to process his emotions as much as I do, that my energy spent on how I’m feeling is important to me and it’s part of who I am. It has also helped him connect with himself and become more thoughtful of his emotions and how his actions can affect others. He also helps me step away from ruminating on something for too long. He keeps me from getting stuck.

[@cassisclassforarts-n-crafts]

I was in a relationship with an istp as well for a few years and I had the same experience! (As an infp of course).

[@juliazhou692]

awww same here! i am an infp and I'm dating an istp, and i relate to everything you said! we get into silly arguments sometimes bc of our differences and when we're not being the best of ourselves (like when we're being immature/petty), but most times the differences make us very complimentary, he helps me to be more aware of the sensing/physical world and i help him with his self-awareness of his emotions. we're just in our early-mid 20s so there's still a lot of growing to do for the both of us, but I'm excited that i get to grow with him! honestly I'm like lowkey always so scared of so many real-world problems and just having him by my side gave me confidence and reassures me that i can do it! (hope this all makes sense lol)

[@sorudeurudeu]

Im an ISTP guy and have a crush on one INFP girl inside of our circle. She's been hurt before and some of her close ones said that she is now affraid to enter in a new relationship unless its a guaranteed settle for life (?). I have feelings for her for almost 3 years now, and I'm just acting as her friend and I think she is now slowly opening up to me. We share some hobbies like listening to kpop and Im also helping her (its only a very tiny help) on her art commissions. Do you think I have a chance on her?? Cause I don't want to tell her how I feel for her yet, as she is busy with her hobby and we are both college students. I'm an ISTP, I'm calculating my chances, and I think I'm still very far. I hope someone can help me, thanks for reading this long comment.

[@unknownplaceinside]

@@sorudeurudeu you leaved your comment at least a year ago so it's pretty late but.... how is it going? How are your relationships now? Are you dating? Still friends? Do you communicate? I'm just curious a bit :) As an infp I can say that there's nothing more precious in this world than a person who loves you and cares about you so much and for so long time. It touches my heart very much. Especially knowing you're an istp, infp/istp pairing is kinda rare I mean. But I really would like to have one istp in my life, as friend at least, so you give me hope that some istps also find infps attractive 😁

[@sorudeurudeu]

@@unknownplaceinside Hi thank you for the reply, but I'm sorry to tell you, she rejected me when I confessed to her last January. She really only see me as a friend. I'm used to hearing from girls that I liked that they only see me as a friend, but this one hurts the most.

[@TheTomo106]

I'm an INFP who have been dating ENTP for like 6 years. She's funny but communication really tough when I can't stop both of our thoughts/tangent to go on and on about things. She's very cheerful and understanding when I need to recharge my energy. I love her so much with all my life

[@dynamite9545]

I just want an INFP man for the nature thing, i'm sure that we will live a beautiful romance together: dinner on the beach, camping, watching susnet together, looking at each others eyes and feel the passion on everything that we do together and falling for the smallest thing that exists, thats how i see relationships .I'm also an INFP woman

[@dustinmcmahan9094]

INFP happily married to an INTJ. She covers my Te deficiency well, and I help with her with understanding the things she’s feeling. Having the same judging functions with different perceiving functions seems to round us out in a way that creates a harmonious relationship.

[@independentpsycho5039]

I am an intj and i do not really understand why my boyfriend won't take action? He waits for me to tell him what to do. it is cute but frustrating as hell. What must i do?

[@amistiel]

@@independentpsycho5039 accept it (from another intj with infp husband :) but actually he does make decisions fast in critical real-life situations, so like 2-3% of the time together, but where it actually matters)

[@miriosa]

My boyfriend is an INTP and we're both super nerdy and enjoy similar things so after being best friends we somehow ended up in a relationship. At first communication was kinda difficult because I'm very emotional and he couldn't really get me sometimes but after I got into MBTI it really helped with our communication. We can understand each other better now and appreciate our quirks

[@Mozzarella-and-Tomato]

ENFJ woman dating/loving/living with an INFP man. 10/10, would recommend. We're only 22 and 26 and have been together for less than two years, but it feels like we've always been together and always will be.

[@Batchick99]

As INFP I believe in 3 things for no good reason: truth - beauty - goodness, and I'm convinced that they're interrelated (again, for no good reason). I recently found out that this trio is called " the transcendentals." The beauty that is meant is not the commercial or conventional kind; it is emergent, as are the other two, which is key. Somehow the opposites are not contradictions but part of the dynamic process. How this relates to dating I'm not completely sure...

[@amygirl9534]

ESTJ is the worse for any sensitive type. I dated one. Prepare to feel emotionally neglected, or worse, gaslighted. -INFJ (who’s attracted to INFPs)

[@melissa7777]

Sounds like u triggered ESTJ defensive mode. ESTJs are actually very emotionally sensitive ppl hence their inferior Fi. But u have to be someone they trust to ever see that side of them, and its totally based off your loyalty to them. Those who dont see the sensitive side of an ESTJ are ppl deemed as untrustworthy and the ESTJ will emotionally turn off around you into protection mode. Why ISTPs, INFPs, ISFPs are fantastic at displaying loyalty in early relationships with ESTJs, and therefore become some of our best friends.

[@stevenmalham2234]

This INFP is enormously lonely and always has been. Such a waste of possible shared joy.. Still hopeful in my sixties...

[@coffeefrog]

I had an abusive ESTJ boss, but she also taught me some important lessons about professionalism I keep today. I think we respected each other on a certain level, but I didn’t deserve what she did to me. Now I’m rather Te-focused, which is partly unhealthy and overcompensating, but I also have a lot of respect for ESTJs in general. I’d just prefer to keep them at arms length. I don’t need another harsh boss in my life.

[@odettewinter]

ENTJ ex was verbally abusive, very confident to the point of cocky. INTJ ex seemed like a dream and then bc they didn’t want to be honest or communicate, led me on and broke my heart w little sympathy in a way I didn’t deserve. Now I have a crush on an ESTP which is unexpected but I appreciate that they are chill, accepting, ambitious, and adventurous. They’re pretty um cool 😎 and seem loyal and stufffff☺️umm we’ll see what happens

[@dollsellfish4520]

Me Alegro Por Ti Espero Que Tengas Suerte

[@misaaasa527]

I’ve noticed that when it comes to pairings, there seems to be this tendency to pair “opposite” types, probably because the expectation is that the two individuals would balance one another out. The thing is though, sometimes it has the opposite effect and just makes the other person’s presence really unbearable. There was an ESTJ guy in one of my old friend groups and as an INFP, I could not follow him, at all. His behaviour and mannerisms were just so vastly different to my own that being around him in itself became a stressful experience. My uncle is also an ESTJ and his wife, an INFP and their relationship has been at breaking point for pretty much as long as they’ve been together. Of course these are all individual cases, but I guess just something to consider.

[@sash8099]

Estj Infp worst pairing

[@Bubbles-od2tv]

Exactly. Why would I need a complement? - an INFP

[@meredith18352]

Your insights into the INFP continue to hit closer to the mark than any other I have seen on KZbin. I think you might know quite a few INFPs?

[@yeshalloween]

I agree.

[@pinklasagna8328]

He said he does have few infp friends

[@ahmedhabib2861]

I don't think I will go well with an ESTJ, they're tiring to me *no offense* I personally think, mirror relationships like ENFJs and INFJs would do better.

[@megofthemoon]

Interesting, as I have had two INFJs in my life (my sister and my ex best friend), and I find them quite exhausting. My sister is literally the bane of my existence lol. We are fundamentally different... Although tbh I’m not sure that our types really play that much of a role in relationships... I don’t know, i am sure there is some merit in typing when it comes to relationships, but I think it should come in *after* you’ve found and fallen for someone. Then types can be wonderful to understand your partner better. I think I see it this way because I am dating an INTP, and literally everywhere I have seen people say that they’re among the most incompatible types for us. Whereas my long term boyfriend and I get each other *scarily* well. But I agree with you, ESTJ types (although tbh I’ve been unable to type many people in my life so I don’t know any ESTJs personally) sound like the opposite of what I would enjoy in a relationship.

[@dianamlv]

I agree

[@dianamlv]

@@megofthemoondo they really say INTP's aren't compatible? I've never really heard of it but I feel like I get along really well with them

[@brumbybailey6599]

I love my ENFJ. We click more deeply than anybody else I've ever met.

[@brumbybailey6599]

We talk about deep stuff, have a lot of common interests, but yet are different enough to challenge and stretch each other mentally.

[@Gandellion]

I’ve noticed a lot recently the idealisation of relationships and being disappointed by the real thing.

[@TheyhemMayhem333]

I’m an INFP and my ENTJ boyfriend loved this video

[@alexandragatto]

INFP here who had a 6 year toxic on-and-off-again relationship with an ISTJ. I truly believe most of our issues were due to our radically different personality types. I don't recommend it! Objective Personality says the more different two types are the more likely they are to have a "sparky" relationship (drawn to each other but with lots of tension, flame out quickly) and the more similar the more likely they are to have a stable, non-turbulent long-term relationship. My experience totally confirms this to my mind. My ex and I still cannot communicate at all because I KNOW if we end up in the same room we will get back together even though we kinda hate each other and will be fighting and broken up within three weeks. We're like magnets. My mom, on the other hand, is an INFJ and we are great together, she's my best friend. I could definitely see myself marrying an INFJ because it seems like a good pairing.

[@aayushrandeep1981]

Stay away from Socionics.

[@alexandragatto]

@@aayushrandeep1981 Best believe I'm about to dive riiight into that thanks to this comment XD

[@aayushrandeep1981]

@@alexandragatto Typical xxNP.

[@sash8099]

Same quadra relationships don't work

[@5erytfshfjo97r7dygkpu]

I'm a ISPT. My boyfriend is INFP. We do okay because I try to be better at communicating...

[@vitor613]

I'm an ENTJ almost dating an INFP and ai feel such a deep connection with her. She helps me understand more the feeling world and I help her discover the material one

[@danann2700]

INFP in a 9yr relationship with an ISTP, so even more opposite than ESTJ in a way, he doesn't have the seeing abstract beauty in common things, I don't expect it of him or need him to validate that part of me. Same goes for him, he'll get me to watch a one piece fight scene or hypothesize on a zombie apocalypse scenario, which I try to entertain but have pretty much have no interest, we're so different but who knows why it works. We went through a lot of typical Fi x Ti battles at first, but that Ti Se combo is a killer and I've grown to appreciate it a lot.

[@risaboring]

I’m infp married to an ISTP and can totally relate!

[@kaitlyncoleman7872]

Different relationship here, but I'm an INFP and my best friend is an ISTP. It works so well, even though we're fairly different in some ways, and I would not trade that friendship for the world :)

[@carolin2220]

As an INFP, i find ISTPs so sexy. I think it can work, or at least it’s interesting

[@sharpiesarecool814]

yes! I really appreciate istps as well as an infp. they see the world in a way we don't and that may be why it "works" btwn you and him :)

[@5erytfshfjo97r7dygkpu]

I'm ispt. My boyfriend is infp. We dated for a long time. Our relationship is okay...

[@nevamoore5192]

I appreciate this comments section so much. It's one of the first places where I've seen people so many people working on incorporating interpersonal relationships as a main focus and talking about developing them using the information from mbti to supplement it in a way that it's not just about arguing about theories and stereotypes. I mean this does exist in many other mbti videos, but not to this extent. I'm not sure if I'm expressing myself well, but yeah, I'm just going to leave this here...

[@iingrid8691]

Me screaming when I saw this LMAO I love learning about myself... that sounds narcissistic 😭

[@RosheenQuynh]

It's not narcissistic, learning about ourselves is literally within our nature. Of all the things we want to absorb, why wouldn't our selves be one of them?

[@midnightsrequiem3909]

As an INTP engaged to an INFP I must say I'm only a few seconds in and I like the clarification of the stereotype because if I had not built damn there a Manual on understanding this girl I doubt many people would have given the time to learn how complex her simplistic looking emotions are

[@samanthaabellana4049]

INFP dating an INFJ we're the same but different. Like we come to the same conclusion but pass through a different process. He can read me quite well. But also, there's still so much i could express but i feel like it'll overwhelm him. Maybe slowly i could

[@sunshineandrain869]

Yes. Soup of feelings on the inside and yet so outwardly calm and still on the outside. I want to laugh when my friends say that I’m so laidback because...if they only knew! 😊 Side note - hell no to the ESTJ match, at least romantically. Another side note - it’s so nice to see another INFP video. Thank you!

[@TheGsn4mm]

Yes. ESTJ is a real terrible match. Even if it looked good in the beginning one day the ugly truth will be discovered

[@Julies_randomness]

I’m an INFP, my best relationship, to date, was with an entertainer type ESFP. I NEVER got bored and he was very organized and a great planner. We were each other’s cheerleader. In 4 years we never mentioned marriage or engagement. It s was great. Then he moved and I wasn’t in a place to go with him. We are still best friends

[@Multitudes_]

I agree with most of the video aside from the idea of an ESTJ being the best (or even a good) match for someone like me. I have a lot of experience with ESTJs and am very incompatible with them - there is zero appeal to such a relationship to me, and there's no way I could fall in love with such a person. I don't want someone to 'balance out my weaknesses' - I want someone to have the deepest possible connection with. I need someone who shares my essential values, is looking for similar things in life, can share in my joys and sorrows, and has the same level of depth and self-knowledge that I do. This generally means someone of or close to my own type. For me there's no appeal to relationships with 'opposites'. I already grew up surrounded by them, with an ESTJ father and ESFJ mother and a bunch of other extroverted sensors all around. It was rough, and I always felt alien and out of place. Additionally, both these experiences and the requirements of life in society forced me to develop some of my natural weaknesses whether I wanted to or not. Now I live alone, manage fine in most aspects of life, feel pretty well-rounded, and am very independent. I do prioritize my strengths over my weaknesses, but I also enjoy the challenge of tackling things I'm weaker at and building new skills sometimes. I feel responsible for making myself a balanced and fully functional person who can thrive whether I'm alone or with someone else. More broadly speaking, I tend to like people who are gentle and sensitive (though forcefulness driven by passion - not dominance or insensitivity - can be fine sometimes), intellectual, and/or creative. I've had a lot of good relationships with INTPs in friendly or professional contexts, though they don't quite tend to have the level of emotional depth that I need to be attracted to someone romantically. I care mainly about how people inspire me or make me feel - basically, how they feed my Fi or Ne (with people who trample on or suppress those things generally being the worst) - not about what they can do for me. That too is a way of prioritizing my top functions.

[@sunshineandrain869]

I know this comment is a month late, but that was very well said. I agree 100%.

[@sash8099]

Estjs are awful but try Entjs. They are good for Infps

[@Multitudes_]

@@sash8099 Don't need to try anybody - I already know who's right for me. Had a whole paragraph about that but deleted it because I thought the post was too long. I could never love a Te-dom. They only work for me in very platonic and impersonal contexts like school or work.

[@felixtownn]

How about IXTJs? Or even IXFJs?

[@DagToreLarsen]

I am INFP-T who happens to be married for 13 years with another INFP-T. I feel nobody understands me better than my wife. We are eachothers best friends, partners and lovers. All in one. And we have a 12 year old daughter who also happens to be INFP.

[@rachelmartina6097]

I think everyone has different needs in relationship regardless of personality. As an INFP, I am looking for a partner who can be a team player in relationship, not a supervisor. ESTJs with weak Fi prefer to be in control of their partner than listening to their partner's feelings and desires. It's so difficult to communicate with people who lack empathy and don't understand human emotions. For INFPs, ask yourself what do you want in a relationship? Is it equality, emotional connection, sex, or maybe just money? And explain these needs to your partner. If your partner can't give you what you want, or you can't give them what they want in relationship, then the relationship isn't right for you (especially if it's a long-term relationship).

[@alexandra9944]

Yeah exactly. XNFP here. What I want is someone who is a good team player and emotionally intelligent. Someone who listens to me and doesn't judge me. Someone who is PATIENT with me and in general, because I'm the least patient person on earth. Someone with similar morals. I actually do NOT need someone to organize me or whatever, I do it myself just fine. That's all.

[@DreamxCreature]

Oh wow, that's really profound what you said about people outsourcing their weakness to others. Can you make a video dedicated to this? I can see how this could play out for different types. Like for one example high Se users being prone to joining cults due to low Ni and cult leaders often being high Ni types 0.0

[@DreamxCreature]

As intp, presumably, I can clearly see how I outsource Fe, like using the internet to help me figure out what to write in a communal card for someone at work or ask friends what I shoud say in a relationship conflict. My colleague who is self proclaimed infp, is a bit too good at outsourcing Te by moving lots of tasks to other people... I could see how isfp can do this too like the famous pop artist Mr Brain comes up with lots of artistic concepts and has a team of people actually execute the ideas many times

[@DreamxCreature]

I think Andy Warhol did that too, had a personal artistic vision but then had a group around him helping him execute the tasks

[@nadiamadani4043]

Being an INFP is just beautiful as hell. A contradiction. Saying the truth and having strong gut feeling brought me more people with whom I'd remain as a very reliable person than peaceful relationship. It was never peaceful and I m more balanced when I m alone. Eventhough I m seen talented in my way to describe my emotions it s still never as intense as I feel it inside. Thus my perfect story that unfortunately didn t last was with an INTP who satisfied in a crazy way my strong desire for smart analysis of the world. (3 seconds of silence for the suffering while I m getting out of the shadow).

[@flowerchasethesunshine9063]

Eww no ESTJs! 😆 Maybe as a friend or a teammate but not as a romantic partner. If you look at the function stacks, yeah, I guess together we could go far in life, but most of all I would like to be understood deeply and appreciated the way I am. I don't think ESTJ would be good at that. They would be annoyed by my personality and they just seem boring for me. I'm daydreaming mostly about other Ne users and INFJs. I don't have anything to say about real life experiences though...

[@00Klingon]

I think the same thing goes for INTP - ENTJ pairings. They make great business partners and friends but as romantic partners, the results are very... shallow. INTP doesn't care as much how he feels, and the ENTJ doesn't care much how the INTP feels for example. Not exactly the best foundations for romance, but as business partners, the ENTJ can be the front man while the INTP runs behind the scenes operations, the results can be amazing.

[@kaitlyncoleman7872]

I used to think the same thing, and then one day I found out that the person I fell in love with, before I even knew about MBTI, is an ESTJ... I think my reaction to one of my friends telling me was yelling out "no!", lol. Then I looked into it for a while and mused about it, and then realized that he actually was 😂 We've been friends since we were kids, have always been a type of kindred spirits when we're alone, and although we present differently, we can just hop on the same wavelength so well sometimes it's freaky, because it's like a mirror image - the same, but opposite, (if that even makes any sense). It's a very interesting dynamic that I've not had with any other type, so it has its own special place to me. I've noticed it to lesser extents with other ESTJs I've become friends with over the years, but with those ones I'll admit I didn't like them at first impression, but warmed up to over time. :) That being said, we have similar personal values and world views, which is huge contributing factor.

[@bia1734]

I feel you.. all my relations with ESTJs were terrible... But ENTJs do better this role to help me with Te, i think. The intuition helps with the bond. But in relations i really like INTJ or INFJ. Even INTJ can be a bit brutal sometimes and really hurt my feelings.

[@sash8099]

@@bia1734 INFPs are compatible with Entj, Intj, Enfj, Infj, Estp and Istp. Other intuitives are ok too but Si with Si has less sexual compatibility.

[@jessiz-]

INFP here! Hi Nathan! Love your more realistic breakdown - everything feels so INFP ☺️ In a relationship, someone complementary would be nice - someone who offsets INFP weaknesses while genuinely seeking to understand the INFP. I think we definitely tend to romanticize things related to love, but over time, I've learned to be more grounded in reality. I get along quite well with xNFx types, dated an ENFJ and INFJ - I find many xNFJs inspiring and motivational, along with being more proactive and communicative than myself, and it's easy to see eye-to-eye on many things. Almost dated a couple of INFPs, but I think we're way too similar and wouldn't get anywhere - really love my INFP buddies! Personally find xNFxs more suitable as good friends. I'm more romantically attracted to xNTx types, and also dated an INTJ and ENTP. These were both pretty challenging relationships, mostly because of my own emotional immaturity, hah. With the ENTP, Ne led to some fun times, and while this ENTP was a very supportive individual, we often had Ti/Fi clashes that bewildered us both. We operate in very different ways, and it was difficult to reconcile these differences. I don't think ESTJs are for me, but my former manager was one, and I really admired and looked up to him (in terms of work and efficiency). Can't imagine a romantic relationship with an ESTJ though. Thanks for the video!

[@damamici]

I can tell a lot ot things about my imaginated dates with perfect people who never exists

[@misscogito9865]

That cracked me up 🤣🤣

[@hannahwhatley8373]

I am an INFP, and all of this is very accurate for me. : ) One thing I've noticed in my very limited experience with relationships with that as an INFP, other INFPs make the best friends but not exactly the best partners, not because they aren't amazing, but because our inner worlds, while holding the same value to us, are totally different and often irreconcilable. Two of my best friends (both of whom I had a bit of interest in once) and a guy I briefly dated were all INFPs, and I am platonically in love with them completely because we understand each other, but when it came down to it, we each needed someone whose inner world wasn't as chaotic and rich to give us stability. We couldn't give that to each other. I love your videos, Nathan! Keep 'em coming. : )

[@alexandra9944]

" we each needed someone whose inner world wasn't as chaotic and rich to give us stability" EXACTLY!!! Well said.

[@socratesandstorybooks1109]

I think ESTJs make great teammates for us but In my experience the ENFJ is our true kindred spirit!

[@melonoire]

ENFP dating an INFP here, he's my first boyfriend and he lives in a neigboring country 😊❤️

[@lindsaymorrison7519]

INFP here. Eternally caught in unrequited love (well, infatuation) or preferring my own company to "dating." I'm in my late twenties, and I've never really been in a relationship. I didn't even go on an official date until a couple years ago, and none of the dates I've been on have led to anything more. A guy held my hand once, and I had to stop seeing him because it felt so dishonest to continue when I felt so little towards him. "My alone tastes so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude." It's incredibly rare for me to get crushes, but not when I do, do they well and truly CRUSH me. I'm a bit of a homebody at times and, due to my line of work, don't meet people of the opposite sex with my values often. About a year ago, however, I met an ENFJ who dazzled me. I've always been drawn to ENFJs, but this was the first time I met an ENFJ who had shared experiences with me (both of us moved around a lot growing up, share a mutual love for the dark knight and ice cream, center ourselves on the same faith and integrity, etc) AND was handsome, single, and close to me in age. I tried so hard, perhaps too hard, to be the best version of myself around him, to be someone I'd want to date, and eventually I worked up the courage to admit (for the first time ever) that I liked him while I liked him... By writing a note, giving it to him, and making him swear to read it only once he got home. We had a very long phone call that was wonderful until he admitted he didn't feel the same, and I don't blame him honestly. I met him at a weird time of transition where I wasn't taking care of myself well and probably should've done more to not get all my waking thoughts to revolve around the idea of him... He has a girlfriend now, but we still see each other often, and it hurts that I still can't thinking about him, not really. It's definitely not as intense as it used to be, but it's preventing me from seeing potential in anyone else... Anyway, that's my story for the day.

[@ishapurohit8597]

I'm an INFP and I've never been in a relationship. I'm very self sufficient and self assured when it comes to my emotional health. Ik for a fact that I can go my whole life without being in one. But I don't want to. I want to someday get over my fears and uncertainties and try it out.

[@azirious666]

Total indifference - INTJ

[@xoalainaa]

“Outsource your weaknesses to other people..” Love that line! So true! Focus on our strengths, and allow the strengths in others to help keep us balanced. ❤️🙏 I certainly value Te and have implemented it more in my life after being surrounded by structured people. I don't force anything, I just naturally fell in love with exercising a weakness that I found a purpose for in my life. As I've gotten older, I have enjoyed certain forms of Te more (like sticking to a list, planner, etc. Nothing too rigid!). If it brings out the best in me and maximizes my creativity and joy, then yes!

[@RavingElectron]

Telling INFP's to associate with ESTJ's is like telling Luna Lovegood to spend time with Dolores Umbridge

[@cazbee6126]

I introduced an INFP to an ESTJ and they were a couple on and off for a yearish. She gave him a bowl of plush toy emotions. He had a bit of a look through and said, "Well yes, I've definitely got some of those".

[@cazbee6126]

Just looked online. They are called kimochis, in case you know a 50yo ESTJ who needs a bowl full 😆

[@Lebannax]

I am in a relationship with an INFP and it is amazing to feel truly understood and see the world in the same beautiful way. I think this is more important than a Te match, as I wrote code and use to do lists and direct debits to deal with that side of my life, but cannot use Excel to feel that magic we share together.

[@pararaeraven5777]

Me: clicks on LoveWho video KZbin: shows a "Ur Type" ad by Frank James Me: visibly confused

[@jbrubin8274]

I’ve currently doing some need self-reflective myself. As you can imagine it’s been a bit of a roller coaster for both myself and my partner. I’m still brand new but one of the first things I saw suggested writing down every thought that came to me, noting the time, explaining if you can why that intrusive thought came in. Then trusting my partner to get a glimpse of my 24/7. It’s not perfect yet but for the first time we’re starting to communicate in the tiniest of ways that he never knew really hurt but I was too afraid to admit. It’s on me, the man isn’t a mind-reader, nor can he see how I suspect many of us can- Be the first one to catch that something has happened or someone is in distress in any room. To me it’s clear as day, to him I sound insane.

[@msandls]

I recently drew a mind map trying to illustrate to my partner all the complex thoughts and emotions I felt surrounding an incident that caused a fight between us... It was hard to fit everything in but he appreciated the effort and took the time to study it. And the fact that he took an interest in it and didn't think it was weird made me feel really loved.

[@hortusxdeliciarum]

I'm an INFP in a relationship with an ISTJ and it's perfect! We are opposites in so many ways but that doesn't undermine our ability to understand one another. There's a great synergy there and a weird, unarticulated harmony that shouldn't really work but does every time. It's a relationship which comes with such strong feelings of security and comfort. As a teenage drama queen, I delt with so much instability, stress and deception in my friendships that finding the opposite of that in a relationship is something I'm grateful for every day.

[@TheGsn4mm]

I have an istj boss and he is one of the worst personalities I delt with. Extremly close minded. I can not use my Ne or Fi in front of him. He thinks he is the only right creature on the earth and all of us are very stupid. Any improvemnt I suggest makes him crazy mad. Good if not all istj are the same.

[@Xandliear]

I will say I am actually hooked on this other INFP... I know that infatuation is what is primarily driving this amount of investment that I have put into her already. Although it is not without reason. It is a complicated situation to say the least and it is something that is definitely testing my abilities. All aspects of my life more or less. She doesn't quite feel the same way how I do towards her and she happens to like someone else. She even told me last night that she does like me and just from feeling her pulse and the way how she looks into my eyes... I can feel that she does feel something towards me, especially in that way... to what extent is something that time will only tell. But I just honestly can't shake the feeling that she has for me. I am also just content with where we are at; being friends but she also allows me to express how I feel towards her. I am just doing everything in my power to make sure I don't take what time we have together for granted. She is also slower to open up then I am. I literally just put it out there.... all of it. And so it can be extremely overwhelming at times for people. So I just allow her to have space and time to herself. I am on the right path, whatever that may look like.... obviously there is a lot more to this than what has been described but I just thought I would give somewhat of an overview. I hope that this can help some people. And one last thing she is an INFP 9w1 and I am an INFP 4w5... but I think from how I have handled this so far... personality type doesn't quite matter at this point. It's how mature I have been during this and the amount of constant and transparent communication. She says that I have handed this all very well so far. So that is all.

[@kristlecasey9506]

Well have many people expressed that they like her (in that kinda way)? Because not many people do that with me so if I feel that someone might like me I kinda investigate them and try and find reasons to convince myself to like them back. In all reality I know I'm just being desperate but 🤷🏽‍♀️ btw idk what 9w1 or 4w5 is but all I know is that I am an INFP lol😭

[@Xandliear]

@@kristlecasey9506 One of the only reasons why I am not desperate and why I have been able to respect her boundaries is because of how much I investigate myself. My own emotions, motives, what causes these behaviors, how do I feel about the relationship as a whole? Am I on the right path? Where do I want this to go? What does she want from this? I spend at least 3-10 hours a week going over this... it can be obsessive at times so I have been limiting my time lately but it is honestly really helpful. I feel at least for me it comes from an understanding of the self that you can then apply to that one specific person. This is at least how I go about it. That is what keeps the desperation at bay for me... for the most part. I am prone to it just as much as then next person but it is up to my reaction. If you can handle it in a mature way and to know how to keep those boundaries in mind and in kind to respect them through action... that can go a long way. I have also been open about everything.... I am literally an open book and don't care all too much what people think or say about it. It is who I am and I think that level of sincerity has allowed her to be more at ease. To slowly open more, to see that she can do the same just on her own time and terms. It is all up to you. You can do this. Believing in yourself is half the battle and I have found my belief through that grueling introspection. It is a hard road to travel but one that does pay off in the end. Good luck in your journey and faith of one's self bar no doubt beyond what little we seek.

[@learnerdecuriousqueen3320]

@@Xandliear I'm sorry im being negative but please protect your heart because I see a very big storm coming up. ^_^

[@Xandliear]

@@learnerdecuriousqueen3320 That is something that I am willing to go through. I will take this blow when the time comes. I know it is foolish but I am adamant as to how I feel and what may lie ahead. It is quite honestly a risk I knew the moment she told me that she liked someone else. I am not here to run from it. I have run from other problems and have ended up worse than I started. This is no different to me. I am only 22. I have time on my side. And a sober mind as well. So as I understand the concern as many people in my life have demonstrated... I am going through this.. till the end.

[@Burtifly]

@@Xandliear it will only make you stronger, and healthier regardless. 👍

[@gozzywozzy485]

wow, some really thought-provoking stuff in this vid. INFP here, and I found your insights into the usage of certain tools (eg spreadsheets etc) as necessities for fostering organizational structure for creativity, simply fascinating! I've always wondered why I've gravitated and excelled at process, system and data driven roles/tasks and not creative pursuits, and yet I am most definitely an INFP. Perhaps it is because I have been working on my inferior functions unwittingly! Also, you spoke of compatibility and asked for some case examples of ex-partner types. My long term exes were: (1) First was an INFJ, we lasted 16 years together, and the second LTR was with an INTP which lasted for 5 years. Very different (almost opposite!) experiences, but I won't divulge details here in respect to my exes. Happy to discuss over PM if you're curious

[@terezarasovska8346]

I mean... it's so hard to explain. I have this imaginary perfect picture of how my partner should be and when I get to know someone I always get disappointed because I didn't imagine it like that. And my emotions and imaginations are so vivid and deep but I can never explain or I don't even try because it's hard to express with words so I usually keep it to myself and I've built really tall walls around my heart over the years. Also I need lot of time alone and in nature or creating and doing my hobbies and my partners never understood and never gave me the space so I better stay alone. We INFPS need to accept the fact that nothing and nobody is perfect and we need to make compromises and accept people as they are we are also not perfect. Also if we express ourselves out loud it helps. Nobody can read our damn minds. Oh, in theory it's so simple. I know it all but never do it lol. But I wanna give love to someone

[@leatewes9200]

I am an INFP girl currently in love with an INFJ man. The only thing we are lacking are conversation topics sometimes... we often just sit in silence together, but not the awkward type of silence 😁 do u think that pairing can work? I really hope so

[@sash8099]

Yes it can. Just pay attention to him especially the subtle Fe cues he gives to ensure harmony and anticipate his needs

[@priscalarissawatko7293]

@@sash8099 What about an INFP-ENFJ pairing?

[@liamhain2155]

That description of emotions is very accurate. On the inside there's a lot to deal with, oftentimes I feel two different things at the same time (e.g. sadness + happiness) but on the outside, I suppose I often look very reserved (my mother told me that I am emotionally cold because I don't express my feelings/talk about them with her).

[@FartherReach]

I have been in relationships with INFJ, ISTP, ISFP, and INTP. The INFJ and INTP became frustrated that I was not more like them, that we did not communicate more consistently in an intuitive way. I think this is because I enjoy Ti so much but don't use it consistently. When I leaned more heavily on Fi, they called me "stupid", "silly", and "inane." This problem was even more pronounced with the ISTPs, but I found their mastery over the physical realm to be more enticing and foreign, which made me more attracted than to the others. I vibe really well with ISFPs, but they're different enough to be intriguing. I have to say that the relationship with the ISFP probably had the most potential for long term comfort, but it made me restless at the time. It would still make me restless most likely. On the job I get along great with ESTJs, but I don't generally find them romantically attractive, which actually makes them awesome people to work with. ESFJs tend to dislike me and seem to find me perplexing and annoying. ISFJs think I'm irritatingly weird in a grandstanding sort of way (regardless of whether I'm grandstanding). I get along surprisingly well with XNTJs, but they also seem to get annoyed with me. XNTJs seem to understand my sense of humor, whereas many ENTPs find me not only irritating but incomprehensible. Of course, that keeps them coming back for more despite themselves which I find entertaining. ENTPs arouse my inner sadist. XNFPs are permanently in the friend zone. I tend to like ENFJs, but they dislike my "mirroring" qualities and sometimes devalue me to my face (arousing my inner masochist). i get along great with ESFPs but am not attracted to them romantically, which pisses them off. ESTPs and me = oil + water, even though I like to admire them from afar. I am only saving this comment because I want to know more about the secret inner life of INFPs and other types.

[@yeshalloween]

I am so melancholy though! I cannot help it! I’m just far too aware 😭 I’m married 10 years to an INTP. We understand each other very well in some regards. The two of us together have zero friends, REAL friends, which is sad. We find it hard to really connect with most people. I can’t do surface level friends. Give me deep conversation full of thought and emotion or nothing at all!

[@mattmatthewmatchuu]

Estj infp marriages in my experience end terribly. Before the divorce seems to be a long time without sex with the 2 si users just being loyal to their commitments despite being unhappy. Gay community debunks socionics romantic compatibility as infp estj in general are pure bottoms.

[@MrKillswitch88]

Well half of all marriages at least in the states ends in divorce as such were nothing more than just cash and prizes for one side while the other gets fleeced.

[@mattmatthewmatchuu]

@chimpanzee eagle i have an infp sister and a lot of friends. Not sure why i am even responding to you, nathan isnt infp estj either lol... yet you watched his video and commented on his board

[@manelrahmouni1216]

honestly idk who came up with the idea of putting an estj with an infp, but for it to work they both need an extreme amount of patience and maturity, and still i dont think they would get through it, by personal experience with estjs, unless i think the ones i met were unhealthy.

[@mattmatthewmatchuu]

@@manelrahmouni1216 initially you are going to be attracted to your own quadra. I have had good conversations and connections with isfj, but i can't be that dominant figure they crave

[@manelrahmouni1216]

@@mattmatthewmatchuu i think yes its possible, but as i said i think its only possible if both are mature, because seeing your opposing being unhealthy might be them being stuck in your highest function, and thats hard to witness

[@miri_chan]

I am an INFP and probably I'll try to overcome myself and ask the girl I like to go on a date with me... Honestly I'm so scared, but I really want to get through this experience. I want to stop dreaming about relationships and finally find a person to whom I can give my love.

[@alafiaj9802]

I think our best match is with ENFJ/INFJ or even an ENTP :) personally i find myself opening up effortlessly with these types, in a bare my soul kind of a way. The process is quite slow but grows steadily :)

[@felzy314]

ENTPs and INFJs are perfect

[@nacmegfeegle2310]

Way back in the day (I'm 70 now) I collected relationships like pokemon; it was so interesting and exhilarating! When I finally settled down in my 30's I left all that behind and put my whole heart into making my home and raising 4 kids, and developing a career in arts. You have mentioned the Magpie concept for INFP in several videos, and that is what I have always been, picking up and examining all the shiny things I come across and adding them to my nest, trying to understand life and the world through every possible avenue. Throughout it all, yes, I have felt I'm on the outside, playing parts but not ever feeling like I'm really one of you people. I do feel the connection between everything so it does not really worry me, I figure it will all turn out OK in the end.

[@starwounder]

its just so scary, i wonder how people make is easy to choose to date? or easy to build these friendships i have millions of them in my head and what I see or read in others but its hard for me to see in myself because I want to understand, its hard for me to actually put inrest in someone

[@flobelacqua8460]

As an INFP, I have found a huge bond with NFJ types, INFJ tends to keep me morally grounded, whereas ENFJ types are extremely reassuring and inspiring to me. Also deeply attracted to ENTJ types as they tend to be both structured but direct which helps me since I'm very literal, so I don't wonder what they are thinking, they just tell me. Saves time and emotional energy.. I had a ESTJ partner who helped me immensely, however it didn't really work out in the end as the differences were too pronounced. However, it has remained a healthy and wonderful friendship. The structure and straight-forward stability of the ESTJ is very healthy for INFP's I think, but the different patterns of thinking can be too much. As an INFP it will come as no surprise to you (I think you even mention it above), that I need my passion to be understood in a relationship, and an ESTJ struggles a lot with that.

[@flobelacqua8460]

In fact, my appreciation of art and beauty not only seemed incomprehensible but also annoying to my ESTJ friend.

[@suzannehutnick3170]

I couldn’t resonate with this more. Thank you for all your thoughtful and insightful videos that don’t perpetuate INFP stereotypes. I’ve finally been able to find myself here. ❤

[@charliecastillo2011]

As an INFP, I feel so called out and validated at the same time 😂

[@WhyYoutubeWhy]

I really can't see ourselves with ESTJ. They will just say we are lazy and constantly get annoyed at us for it. I'd rather be with someone who understands how it's hard to start something, particularly annoying boring tasks.

[@c.otooligan8278]

INFP here, had a long rocky relationship with an ISTJ - you pretty much nailed it on the head

[@Purple-ur2sc]

As an INFP passionate in writing, I agree! There are lots of pre-existing story structures and things that a lot of people find intimidating or constricting but I think is able to hone my abilities and make it better. I wouldn't force people to abide by anything that doesn't work for them, but it works really well for me and I think it's more like a suggestion on how to make a story stronger rather than a strict rule guide to follow, it keeps me on track where I might be going on side tangents about irrelevant things (and I think fellow INFPs can relate xD).

[@halgreen7808]

I'm married to an entj. We have some interests in common and he's kind and generally considerate. He does talk to me about projects that he wants us to work on more often than I would like and it feels to me like he is rushing things when I want to take more time to consider the options, but... if it were left to me, a lot less would get done, so it's probably for the best. I prefer to spend most of my time alone working on my interests, so I think he feels lonely sometimes. I have to remember to make time for him. He has helped me to learn to just suck it up and get things done and that sometimes having something finished is better than making it perfect. A couple of years ago, I built a 300 foot long fence around our yard. We were going to do it together, but he got sick, so it became my job. I preferred to work alone anyway, because then I could listen to music and imagine stories while I was working. There was one fence post that wouldn't go in properly, because of tree roots and I had to leave it taller than the rest. I was fretting over it, because I'd been very meticulous in levelling everything, and then he asked if it really mattered. I thought about it, realized that within 2 weeks of being done, I wouldn't even notice that the fence existed anymore, so it would bother me for 2 weeks and then it wouldn't matter at all. So... the fence got done. Anyway we annoy each other sometimes, but I think it's a good match, overall. I don't share much about my internal world with stories and characters with him, because he hasn't been interested beyond, oh that's nice, because I don't think he understands that it's more than just a story to me, but I share that with my INFJ sister who is just as weird as I am with stories and characters in her head. Any infps looking for a best friend, infj might be a good one, but... it'll probably take a long time for them to feel comfortable talking about their own inner world. I'm guessing infp will have to reveal theirs first. Don't recommend infj as a spouse though. Reality would become severely neglected. All that being said, the happiest time in my life was when I was single. I enjoy being alone too much. Living with other people who could interrupt my thoughts at any time is difficult, but I love them.

[@braininjurydiy]

As you say stoic and reserved looking, I've been called reticent and a very private person, people assume I'm aloof perhaps but I feel so deeply and have such emotion that I never express, those who keep me at a distance perhaps thinking I don't care will never know how deeply I think of them friends and family etc. Love is too hard few think about what I do so what is there to talk about and yes beautiy everywhere the sun in the sky, clouds, colour of the sky, moon and stars, bush mountains, bodies of water. I can't fathom others don't notice these things.

[@lisalanden]

I love your videos! I am an INFP. I enjoy all of the different types. People fascinate me endlessly. But for close relationships, ENFJ, ENTP, and INTJ take the cake for me.

[@meganlutz7150]

INFP here married to an ISTJ. Not a good match at all. My need to have a partner who can appreciate beauty just isn’t met or understood. For years I didn’t know what was missing only that I felt empty after interacting. I don’t need my partner to be exactly like me but only to “get” me on a deep level. I am wondering what it would be like with an INFJ. I do have a female friend that is an ENFJ. I love spending time with her. We really click.

[@vincent.mazkett187]

Am I the only one who screenshots quotes???

[@YotaQuebill]

quotes, rare interaction and conclusion of xtype VS xtype in the comment section, lol

[@hanjesse31]

Frank James was in the ad at first and i thought it was his video i clicked accidentally. For a moment i got confused because i know i clicked ''Love Who'' channel

[@aederiyan]

This describes me a lot in great detail, especially with the trees part being a beautiful contortion of sorts, with getting in depth into musical lyrics, and literary passages :D

[@BlackCanary639]

I grew up in a neighborhood of SJs with SJ pride and they wanted nothing to do with my crazy NF self, and although I agree with your point about structure and creativity, I wanted nothing to do with their SJ judgments about my NF craziness. I had to leave town to find dates.

[@samuelpardo1430]

I mean like, somehow I have like this magnet that attracts ESFJs Only, and it's exhausting for me to keep on track with that amount of extroverted feeling. Mainly because I won't absorb their feelings and they won't reflect mine. Nowadays I'm talking to this ENTJ, and it feels like ENxJs are practically the perfect match for INFPs. They just have this Ni Vibe that suits perfectly with the Fi Dom.

[@MrBOBhakimipendobombies]

I think the Ni works rlly well with your Ne to create incredibly fun and long conversations

[@samuelpardo1430]

@@MrBOBhakimipendobombies that's the key.

[@bunaz6221]

I've been observing myself for a long time and I think now I can say some things I noticed I routinely do with ppl I have connections with. Be it a family , friend , co-worker , student , teacher anybody. I think it isn't fully true that we mostly seek structured ppl or ppl who are good with the things we are bad at . We are actually ok with anybody . However we are very selective and test and observe the person before engaging. Because we very much hate wasting time and energy on someone who we don't acknowledge as important. Honesty True persona Motives Values Respect of personal alone time and space (very important) These are the things we check on the person . Also also if we come across someone. We don't completely become buddies and click instantly. Sure we can talk for hour . Will listen to them . They gonna feel like we are already best friends. But we in reality don't acknowledge ppl or give ppl chance to be in our special list. We observe the person . What they are like , what type of personality they have , they're strengths and weaknesses , what is their motive behind there approach , are they seriously committed , do they really value the words I say . Once they pass all that. They will forever be in a special place in our heart. Would definitely be included when life would flash before our eyes when we die. That level of deep importance we shall pour on them . Like you mentioned in another vidoe where you said . Infp's are constantly searching for their true self . And is constantly changing their persona and forms to explore and study themselves . Infps I think are natural born actors. Or a personality shifter. We tend to change our aura and personality according to the person we are with . It's like we are a blob that observes a person then change it's shape into the person that the other needs or seeks. A practical example of this is when I'm with my entj dad. I become this sensitive, empathetic, damsel in distress . When I'm with my infj mom , I became judgemental and critique just like her . When I'm with my intp sister I'm this strange alien creature doing weird shit like printing pictures of fish and throw then on the floor pretending I'm on a lake side. And she kinda understands the assignment and joins . When I'm with my other sis who's an esfp , I become this outgoing energetic person who matches with her extroverted energy . We become the exact person the other person wants us to be or wants to see us as . And it doesn't bother us because what I'm turning myself into is already been played on my head in multiple scenarios. We are the ones who would genuinely take the bullet which was aimed at our loved ones happily with no regrets . We value our partner and the ppl who we deeply care for . Oh yeah another thing . Whoever doesn't respect our need of having a lone time of ourselves and does not give importance to our personal lone time and personal space is 100% out of the list . I won't say it on their face . But they are the ones I genuinely hate .