Insecurities, Self Esteem & Confidence | My Story | Tea Time

[@MituDjakarian]

Man, I don't want to go full on absolutes, but you're the best youtuber in this website. I love listening to what you have to say because it's so close to what I think and at the same time, you always bring something new. I know you don't like the word influencer but you influenced me SO MUCH all these years in so many aspects of my life. You made me happy and gave me energy when I was feeling down. I am an organized person because of you. I am so so happy that another introvert, deep-thinker person decided to create a channel and inspired us all. But I don't see you as an untouchable idol, as someone who won't fail. I see you as an amazing, real human being, and that is the best part. Thank you for facing your insecurities and bringing so much to us. Man, YOU are the Beacon. I only feel bad for not having a way of giving back, but hey, at least I teach the pasta pesto recipe to everyone. I don't even know where I am going with this but i love u, k, bye.

[@Loepsie]

😄❤ thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me

[@KraftyScorpio]

I just realized something about myself after watching this video. I didn't see that coming. Thank you for doing these type of videos.

[@heidih.7286]

I can feel you, dear Loepsie. I was called ugly in school many, many years. It ruined my childhood. Now in my 30s I don‘t care what people think about me. It makes life so much easier for me. It feels like people like me more since I think this way. Wish you all the best 💕 I love your channel!

[@fictionalhuman]

This really touches a chord with me. Where you were talking about you know you are following with what is right on your moral compass, but the criticism and judgement still comes from others to where you feel like you have to prove yourself to others strikes home to me as well. I am very happy with myself as a person, but so often feel that others aren’t happy with the person I come across as to them. I love that you open up to talk about this and so many other things. Your channel is always a delight to me. I’m so glad I found it this year. Thank you for being a bright spot to so many peoples’ day!

[@kh9214]

I can’t believe anyone would be rude to you! You seem like such a nice easy going person!

[@maritrolljenta]

Thats so interesting! Thank you for making a video about that :) I used to wonder why I was so shy but at the same had such a high self esteem... and in the end I guess I just thought that thinking I have high self esteem was false if I was that shy. But now I realize that thats not true. I have always been happy with me as a person. Just like you, i think a lot and act on my believes. But I've always been shy, introverted, anxious, very sensitive and I always thought a lot about how people viewed me. I feel like I am very confident with me as a person but not in the way I interact with the world.

[@misscaffy]

I do feel like that most of the time, and I usually have LOOOONG arguments going on in my head with my mother, father, aunts, grandmother, cousins, trying to make them understand my point and why I'm doing what I think is right and don't follow the path they think I should go by. But thats all in my head, and it drives me insane, because it doesn't change reality but it does make me frustrated and anxious all day long.

[@cloud_lost_in_thought]

I do the exact same thing....I know that any conversation in real life would lead nowhere fast, but in my mind I still go through it...

[@scoutofthewoods]

that's called ruminating, and if you can -- if anyone sees this and relates -- it's really great to interrupt those thoughts! i do it too, but when i find myself going thru fake conversations (esp. ones i know i won't ever have these convos irl) i go 'this isn't real' 'this is unproductive' etc and get myself back to thinking into the present!

[@65LME]

I just recently subscribed to your channel, and am enjoying checking out your older videos. I have loved the ability to go back and see what has inspired you over the past ten years. As a 50+ person, whose parents internationally raised her to reject peer pressure, I can relate to most of what you said. What I am now shocked by, is the personal realisation of how much societies attitudes have actually affected my self-esteem. Please know that the strength of your character is probably what attracts many of your subscribers, so don't let comparisons to anyone else diminish your joy. People have intentionally made time with you a part of their lives, and you draw them into your life. (People can make back money, but they can't make back time.) What a privilege and honor you have, to touch so many lives, even if only for 10 minutes at a time.

[@herebecause]

I love your explanation of this! I realize this video is 5 years old, but I've resonated a lot with the idea of neurodivergence and how it's more about what society is willing to accommodate rather than a medical condition. Sad but relieved to know I'm not the only one who feels like an alien observer sometimes. Thank you for sharing! 💜

[@ritagein490]

7:57-8:57. This is so me, too. I can not fit in, no matter how hard I try and I've slowly just been distancing myself away from society, over the years. I think it's the best thing to do. No one can hurt you, if they can't see you, then. You're lovely Lucy, too nice for this world. Don't let life's a*seholes destroy you. Xx

[@michellebec]

Bravo to you. I love your channel, and YOU not looking "perfect" all the time was a big reason why I subscribed (aside from the fact that I really enjoy your topics haha). You are a real person whom a lot of people can relate to, without feeling sad about themselves or having the feeling that they need to change. I love the fact that beauty is just an ephemeral topic in your videos, yet you inspire the audience to try out those amazing tutorials (see, that is talent!). Your channel is my N° 1 favorite

[@Hevynly1]

I totally hear you, but it's so difficult to believe someone wouldn't automatically like you! You seem so sweet, genuine, and lovely!

[@owlcatxx]

I pressed “like” right after you expressed bafflement that “logic isn’t necessarily all that people go by.” All too often I’m baffled by that too! Love your channel and perspective and personality. 💜

[@thecraftyfaery]

I'm so like you with my personal values, and I like being different but it's also nice to know there are others and I'm not completely mad to be how I am! When I was at secondary school in the 90s, it was even more "uncool" to be different - I feel like the world is slowly moving toward the idea that "different" is cool and edgy. Everyone was just wearing jeans, t-shirts, shell suits, bomber jackets, sweatshirts when I was at school. I was arty, and although I was painfully shy and introverted, I felt so strongly that my identification was my own decision and shouldn't matter to anyone else that I wore what I liked. I was a mish-mash of boho, goth, new romantic. I got a lot of flack for it but it didn't really bother me and I think that's why I got less and less of it from people in the end. "Hippy" used as an insult was about as clever and imaginative as insults went. I used to get funny looks from people in the street when I wore this gorgeous red velvet cloak my sister made me, but I gradually stopped noticing the looks and didn't care and sometimes I think the less you notice, the less people react. I had as many complements for my unusual but romantic choice in clothes. Came to the conclusion that probably a lot of the time it was a form of jealousy when people were mean, whether they like what you are wearing really or not, it's you confidence to wear it and not care that they envy. I also can't comprehend a lot of peoples negative ways towards others and I know that hasn't always won me popularity, but I have also found it really does tend to weed out the fake friends from the true ones, who'll accept you and like you for who you are. As an introvert, I prefer a few really great friends for life than a huge circle of friends who only like me because I conform to their idea of a cool friend. :D I'm 38 now, and still exactly the same and still love the same sorts of clothes. I say let the freak flags fly! As long as you aren't harming anyone else :) :)

[@gaiushka]

11:51 ok, this one really got me. a person’s mannerisms are part of their character. getting rid of them is literally sacrificing your own personality for beauty. that’s just terrifying to me. not to sound like a hippie, but people are beautiful *because* their personality shines through them, through their speech, their expressions, their style... and i love it.

[@rosebudjess96]

I relate to this so much, over the years despite knowing what I think is right and wrong having society disagree with me has made me reluctant to act upon them which I really wish hadn't happened. Sadly I have both low self esteem and low self confidence I've been trying to work on it but I'm so lost and confused and I'm still afraid of society

[@aprsonalaccnt2235]

Those "weird faces" are part of your charm and personality, part of what makes you Loepsie.

[@indahalfiani2269]

This video makes me feel better. I think we are same. I like to spend my time being alone, and thinking about my self a lot.

[@AnnythingAnnyone]

Wow, this is by far one of the most relatable videos I've ever watched on the internet. Thank you so much for putting into eloquent words what I tend to feel so frequently in day-to-day life.

[@kirstenpaff8946]

I can definitely relate to your teenage experience, though my respect for teachers was very much dependent on how competent they were. While I got along really well with teachers that I respected, I would definitely correct or talk back to those that I thought were stupid. Even as a kid, I only cared about the opinions of people that I respected. This usually meant teachers and other grownups, because I found it difficult to make friends (my family moved around a lot) and, like most children, I was under the false impression that most grownups knew everything and had their life figured out. Most of my self worth became linked to my intelligence rather than my appearances or whatever else teenagers think is important. Now that I am finishing up grad school, I am anxious about going out into the real world, because I question whether I know as much as people think I know. I am not as confident as I was in High School, because if more than eight years of studying engineering will teach you anything, it will teach you that you know nothing.

[@hamerful]

Don't worry girl I was anxious too when I went to university. I felt so small and insignificant. These things pass with time, but what you do with your time is tremendously important. Read a lot, study people, be bold, exercise your talents in fields you never taught you would succeed. p.s. coming from someone who is 30 years old now :D

[@Loepsie]

I can definitely relate to intelligence being the thing you respect/look up to most in people. I'm trying to work past that myself as I feel it's unfair sometimes and I'm learning other quaities can be admirable as well, but it's in my nature to value intelligence the most

[@krykat.]

Girl, you are beautiful!!! You have cute mannerisms and you have such an authentic presentation. Anyone with a heart who watches your videos can get a sense that you must be nothing but genuine. So glad I stumbled upon your channel and this video in particular. I have a birthmark on my face and was teased for that all throughout school. I'd like to think most people hopefully grow up and grow out of those rude, disrespectful tendencies, but that obviously isn't always the case. You are uniquely designed. We all are. And it's people like you who make people like US feel a lot better about ourselves :) Thank you.

[@Amy-hm9cp]

To me, beauty is so much more than just looking pretty. I think it's a combination of high-self esteem, confidence, and knowing that I look good and feel good even on days when I am battling insecurities, physical and emotional pain, and even something simple like pimples. It's being able to look in a mirror and say, "I am beautiful," without laughing like it's a joke or looking away in shame. Thanks for this video. It really helped me think.

[@ladymissviolet6848]

you articulated so many things about having low self confidence, especially socially so perfectly! It is so cool of you to put this out there, I love your videos in general, and it's eye opening to see someone whose work you enjoy experiences the same kind of insecurity

[@me.universe]

Ahh I relate so much to a lot of the things you said. I also hated it back then when my classmates would "bully" our teachers, but I was too scared/shy to go against the whole class, so I would end up sitting there in silence. And that thing about being triggered by comments that remind you of high school-I felt that on a spiritual level omg because SAME. Basically, high school (for me) was the worst lmao 😩

[@catherinepapa4519]

I could never think of you having low confidence because the first time I saw you ,I said"wow what's a beautiful face!"

[@jjelazcezar2405]

Loepsie i can totally relate😘 i think that high school and collage are places where people destroy your confidence.

[@mona-fy4oj]

Thank you for sharing this. The thing you said about not feeling like you are a part of a group is so relatable. I was bullied in school and often left out of things for no reason at all and even though now I'd say I'm quite a confident adult I still feel left out and disliked in groups.

[@gracec.7929]

I can relate, Loepsie. I’m a very logical person, and don’t really understand certain social things or why they’re perpetuated. Growing up, I tested with a high IQ, and was always ahead in school, was always younger than everyone around me (I was 11 in high school). I’m introverted, I found safety and comfort in my own thoughts, and mentally dissect things to death, still do really, trying to understand and relate to the world around me. Looking at things and people from the outside, from a logical perspective. I don’t really understand how people can be illogical and act or behave from illogical, unempathic place. Empathy and logic should go hand-in-hand, I feel. I hope you know that it’s not just you, you’re not alone out there. Been watching you’re channel for about six months now, and you’re very talented! Happily subscribed, can’t wait to see more. ☕️ Lots of good thoughts! ☕️

[@malicalmen]

I can relate so much with not identifiying with groups, doesn't mean that I don't enjoy being part of them thoug, I just cant stop the feeling of being an outsider and not caring that much about a group recognising or accepting me!

[@LucyRue-hh6er]

You know, I've been watching for a long time, and I've only ever thought you looked like yourself! Keep being you! I love what you do because you are true to yourself.

[@binkybombastic6200]

Loved this video! Some of the things you mentioned I can relate to (cannot deal with peer pressure, why are there even peers, why not only have just a few very close friends) and some I cannot relate to. But I think it is so great that you’re making these videos because even if I cannot relate to them myself it helps me understand others who I think might have (had) the same problem!

[@AynneMorison]

Hello Lucy, I have some of the same problems and I'm still working on them at 60. I've gotten much better over time, but some of the little 'voices in my head' still make me question myself. I started a little youtube channel and am surprised every time I get a new subscriber just because I can't imagine who would want to see a 60 year old with a blue mohawk putting on 'club' eye makeup. I keep expecting to be lectured about being 'too old' for all this. So far so good. I love your channel, you are so down to earth and usually very happy. Babble all you want - I'm good with it.❤❤❤👏👏👏🌹

[@anngenaske4648]

I know exactly what you're talking about! I couldn't care less how I look, I don't wear make up and the only time I look in a mirror is to make sure I don't have hair sticking up or that my clothes are properly covering 'bits'. However, it is others misplaced importance on appearance that can make me feel anxious....for a very short time. Great video! Thank you for sharing!

[@s.v.4786]

I get what you said about beauty and I wish I thought the same! My problem with beauty is that I have understood that in this society (or at least where I live) looking pretty "pays". What I mean is that I know most people (expecially men) will be more kind to someone who looks at least a bit pretty, and I want people to be kind with me because most of the times I feel weak. That is why I feel lost in trying to always fix my apperance while I feel I am neglecting other deeper things. Sometimes I feel like an empty shell beacuse of that, I feel like a 'pretty' doll with nothing interesting to say

[@minounah]

Thank you for this beautiful, honest, and deeply personal disclosure. All I can say is people who feel horrible about themselves will do everything they can to tear down another who displays any kind of confidence in themselves, real or not. It's horrible. As to the resemblance thing..hell no. If you have a feature that reminds someone of someone famous, it does not mean you look like them and are not who you are which is a young, lovely, conventionally attractive woman! Inside and out! And I SO love what you said about everyone looking fine as they are. And I am deeply admiring of your independent thinking. Imagine how the world would be if more people were just like you and didn't throw away common decency and compassion to belong to a vicious peer group? Don't change

[@52hello25]

I'm really late to the discussion, but I can identify with almost everything you said. I've also experienced people making negative comments about my looks (I've had friends give me the "You would be prettier if...." comments many times) and one thing I've learned is that these people typically have very low self-worth. They're so consumed with always looking pretty because they feel bad about themselves, and it confuses them that other people aren't constantly worried about their appearance like they are. They can't understand what it feels like to have a healthy self-image. It used to hurt me in the same way you described: I personally never cared about my appearance and felt fine with myself, but once these comments were made, I would feel really self-conscious and sad that others judged me so harshly over something so trivial. But as I've gotten older, I've come to understand that it's about them projecting their insecurities on me. It's undeserved, so I've learned to let it go. I hope you're able to do so as well

[@elliyo4286]

I love your views, I love your character. This video made me so happy. i am insecure about one thing that is really stupid, but this video made me feel so much better. I also think it is so great how you place no worth on how a person looks. I related a lot!

[@sabanoor8564]

I'm so glad that I have found you here.

[@evelyneca7454]

I'm also an introvert and I feel the same way about tons of stuff you said. It's funny cause I never hear others formulate it like you did! I'm also sorry about those people in your highschool and the strangers on the street. Whenever I hear stories like that my mind is blown. I can't imagine people are actually that aweful! I don't think you make any strange or funny faces! Love your video's, love you're laugh and you're idea's! Personally I am insecure about how much of an introvert I am cause teacher would often tell me 'come out of your shell ect' while I was doing perfectly fine. One teacher once said to me AND my parents that it felt like I had no personality. That one kind of messed me up :// and now I get anxious about not being loud or bubbly. (she also send me to a counselor cause she thought I was too thin… she was the type that was a bit too eager to have troubled teens to 'save' ) Like IM totally fine being the way I am but the fact that others might get the wrong idea about me because I'm so quiet makes me nervous. Its hard to not care about what others might think of you.

[@stefani1skrunky]

Thank you for speaking about this! I also relate to the whole outsider perspective and not understanding the crowd mentality. I've never heard anyone say exactly how I'd always felt! I was always a quiet and a good kid, and I guess I was being naturally rebellious in my own way by not doing, acting, or wearing what others did. It just didn't feel right. It's so sad how cruel people can be towards someone, solely based on how they're dressed. You weren't hurting anyone. Thank you for explaining the differences of the 2 terms because I also feel the same. I too feel secure in myself as a person and knowing that I'm doing what's right by me. But it's hard not to let the bullying and negativity from others get to you. It's such an alienating feeling when your self-esteem and confidence don't match. Great tutorials with in-depth facts and a personality to match, I love your videos!

[@freyabk]

Wow I have never been able to relate that much... To anyone. It's the second video I watch from your channel and it's so nice to find someone like you on KZbin!! I don't think I've ever found anyone like that.. So thanks, keep on doing what you're doing, and I'll be watching more of your videos for sure!!

[@abigailwallace2356]

I definitely feel this video on a personal level. This is actually very relevant to me right now. I’m a violin major at university and my violin professor is so frustrated with my confidence level. I know I have a self-confidence problem, but I prefer to view it as being honest with myself about my abilities. I guess that’s just a symptom of the low self confidence.. finding excuses to keep it where it is.

[@quixotic4233]

This was a really enjoyable discussion. Surprising it doesn't have more views. Have you considered using the KZbin tags (or hashtags or keywords) to promote your teatimes and Q&A sessions? There is a nice community of beauty, history, sewing, and "chat" video viewers you might be able to reach if you get your videos to come up in the recommended lists of certain other KZbinrs. You deserve more!

[@veerjap9214]

Omg I connect to a lot of things that you said ! Gone through similar things and high self esteem but low confidence and negative thinking! It's ok we can rewire our minds!one step at a time! Its

[@christinawoosley2802]

I related to this so hard! I always have felt right about my mind, world view, and self-expression, even though I find myself straying so far from the norms at times. But I guess I don’t feel confident around others at times because, despite my strong inclination to solitude, I do love feeling connected to other people. I feel validated when someone approves of me or understand me, although in another way it is true the only validation I need is my own!! Thank you for your video, you described perfectly this phenomenon I felt I was experiencing all alone 😶

[@hamerful]

I got to know your youtube channel this year. I subscribed after seeing a couple of videos. There was something about you that attracted me more than other girls who make videos about make-up, beauty beacons and so...Then I realised that what I like about you is your bold personality. You say that you have low-confidence but in the same time you are bold! I also have low-confidence at times and what I realised is that I don't need each person on this planet to like me - only people that I enjoy being with. Thanks for opening up Loepsie. I enjoy videos about self-esteem and confidence. I think you should do some more.

[@Loepsie]

It's much easier to be bold when there's no chance of getting interrupted by the other person, and when you don't see their facial expressions and body languge change as you speak. I'm also filming this with the knowlegde that the viewer is going to click this knowingly because it probably sparked their interest. In coversations I can often feel like the other person doesn't really want to be there/talk to me 😅

[@hamerful]

@@Loepsie nah...I taught the same once...but I realised that it was just my imagination. It would be helpful maybe to find ''your tribe''. Like-minded people who would be interested in the same things as you are, the same values, similar concepts. Forgot to mention that I lOVE the way you dress. I learned a lot.

[@vinayajoshi7810]

ohh..its so relatable.. thank you so much

[@SS-rw4qb]

Thank you so much for putting yourself out there, it takes a lot of courage do do things like this, this is so relatable to me! ❤️

[@teageellington1925]

Why haven't I heard about this before?!?!? Thank you for defining this! It's been something I've been struggling with for a while now!

[@aristopoieo746]

This is a pretty old video that i had never watched before for some reason, or at least not completely (and i wonder why considering that every single video of yours is so calming and both mentally and visually appealing, no stretch). I do resonate with this a lot. Like i said in another comment im an infj, a pretty stereotypical one too. I have a deep knowledge of my limits, my goals, my ideals, my sense of right and wrong notwithstanding the numerous contradictions that live in me. When i was in middle school and even now that im basically 18 i still feel that deep sense of justice and rightness that i felt when i was in that hell that was middle school. I think i am exactly the same, i have high self esteem (or at least, i have no trouble in looking at me in the mirror and saying "ok this is me, i look like this... alright!" And id say that i like the way i look, given that i do put a lot more importance into the way i personally look). Continuing off of that, i think my main problem with self identification and "recognisation of self" whether it is me looking at myself or people looking at me relies in the fact that not everybody thinks the same things that i think. I am always so convinced im doing nothing wrong and that everybody is as chill about stuff like this as i am, but i have often been told that i look weird, that my hair looks weird, that im emotional and so on, and those things hurt me a lot more than i want to admit. Despite having high self esteem i have low confidence... i just cany really seem to let my opinions be known, my thoughts be known, the things i like be known, just because im afraid people will actually judge me. I never think about people's judgement until i start thinking about the fact that the judgement of people exists (if that makes any sense 😂) This was a lovely video!!

[@k0hina]

This resonated so strongly with me and I do identify with a lot of what you talk about. You seem like such a lovely person and the thing I think I find most unfortunate is that I don't know you in real life and can talk more about it 😂. Thank you so much for sharing ❤️

[@MillsSkits]

I got something similar about "making faces" from a friend as a kid. "You'd have more friends if you didn't make so many faces." And in school, teachers would point out to the class when I was making a face. Honestly, in my everyday life I'm not intentionally "making faces." I have a very expressive face. We're all different from one another. It's a shame people feel so open to pointing out things about others' appearance, especially things that can't be helped.

[@Loepsie]

My expressive face got me realy high grades in drama class because the teacher loved all the different subtle emotions I was able to convey without speaking, which was the best confidence boost ever in that department! I now proudly talk with my eyebrows and feel like I'm able to express things more clearly because of it. Can't see any negative points to an expressive face, really! 😊

[@MillsSkits]

That is so good you found the value of an expressive face! 😊 And for you it works GREAT for being a KZbinr! I like having one, too. One of the positives I've found is that when people share things with me, they can easily tell how I'm feeling and that I care about them.

[@adriennegonzales2636]

I always enjoy your work because the value you bring is in the quality of your content. You speak knowledgeably and in at a depth that is interesting to listen to. It's a good balance of joy and logic to each topic ...and that is lovely.

[@derrickjenniferwatkins1394]

You are such a cool person! Thanks for your honesty and openness.

[@onnalynn7004]

I just wanna say, b4 i even finish watching the vid, that u r one of the most beautiful people ive ever seen. So stunning, naturally!!!

[@vicky3589]

I always thaught that I am the only one who ist like this...it helps me to know that I am not alone..Thank you so much!

[@marinaadi494]

I can totally relate. I have always liked who I am and I have made decisions based on what I think is right. But I have had major confidence issues because I stutter. It's not severe but still really bothers me on a daily basis.

[@cloud_lost_in_thought]

I relate to you so much! I'm sorry you had such a crappy teenage-hood...so did I...I was bullied to, including by strangers on the street, and I, too, have quite a high self-esteem (though it wasn't always the case), but very little confidence...and yes, it based on the fact that in our formative years whatever we thought was ok, and normal, and maybe even beautiful, the world around us bullied us on. so whenever we want to put anything out there in the world, no matter how great we feel about it, there's always the fear that we will be rejected for it. Hope this makes at least a little bit of sense :) I love your channel and your videos, and I think you bring value beyond beauty in every single video! xoxo

[@luzsoto2961]

Wow I just feel so identified with what you said, love this tea time videos

[@Giaduccia91]

I totally lack in both, which is very very difficult

[@heatherdennis3191]

Loepsie, you should really take a Meyers-Briggs personality test. It’s free online. It will tell you your personality type, information about your type, famous people with your type and can teach you about yourself and others and help you understand how they/you think and feel. It’s very cool. I like it because I was always so insecure about the way I act and function in groups and I too cant grasp that ‘herd mentality ‘ that you talked about, this website helped me understand myself better and realize that I’m not the only one who thinks this way.

[@sofie27]

I can relate to everything you talked about in this video. So nice to know it's not just me thinking/feeling that way. You are so inspirational and I really appreciate that you talked about this topic.❤👌🏻

[@agentmothman5343]

We're very similar!! I've always dressed like a "freak" because it makes me happy and isn't harming anyone *but oh my god* the disgusted glares from strangers kills me. The whole 'your looks/way you present yourself are a measure of your worth' mentality that society has is completely alien to me and, quite frankly, I don't _want_ to understand it. Like, why does it even bother people anyway? It literally makes *no* sense to me. P.s, I first came to your channel for your history-inspired looks but I'm staying for this kind of content. :D

[@dorothear8833]

Thank you for bringing this topic up! It felt really heart-warming listening to your experiences because they are something I have experienced and I think many others as well. Also, it feels like you talk straight from your heart and it touched me as the viewer! I wanted to share few of my thoughts and experiences here: I have always felt a bit different much the same way as you descriped. At school me and my twin sister were often outsiders because we behaved well, did our homework in time and did well at school. We had friends but somehow we also "got on the nerves" of others because we weren't like the rest. We didn't like to party or drink alcohol or act against the rules etc. I guess it came from home, this mentality, our mother has always been like this as well, not because it would be "wrong", just that it wasn't our thing. So we were the epitome of the "kind girl from the neighbourhood" and well, one can see why it wasn't always liked, even though we never judged anyone's actions - we just didn't do what was considered cool or rebellious as a teenager. We were seen as somehow less worthy than others, unfortunately that was also how we viewed ourselves at the time. Some friends didn't want to be with us anymore because we were uncool. School is a big battle of this "popularity" hierarchy. If you fall from the top, it is going to be hard. Thus there were some people who really liked to hang around us - I have never thought that I or my sister were dull company even though at other things I didn't consider myself that well - but at school they wouldn't show themselves with us for the fear that they would be considered as uncool as well. Now as older I do attend parties for example but I don't enjoy heavy drinking or night clubbing. I have found my way of what is fun and exciting, my way of living, even though sometimes, when I was younger and at the first years at university, people would question me why I didn't continue to afterparty or why I didn't do this or didn't do that, just simply why I behaved differently than what I was "supposed" to behave. Just like you said, I also recognise in me this moral compass that is strong and I want to go my own path. It is still like this but I feel like the older one gets (I'm now 26) the easier it is to find people that don't judge the way I have chosen to live my life for I haven't judged theirs or never regarded my choises as "better" than someone else's. I feel like there are people who go against the current more heavily than the others, but they are much fewer in numbers and I guess sometimes one might feel lonely or lack confidence in one's actions because others do notice when someone doesn't behave like the rest. It takes courage to stay true to oneself and being who one wants to be. It's okay to be different things at times and change and try out different things. But to be something just because of the pressure, just so that we were accepted, does hurt as well just like it hurts to be different. But for me, I have noticed, it would hurt more to be someone I am not. I do however, in some cases, go with the current, for I am afraid of not being liked, even though mostly I want to stay true to my heart for it makes me feel better. You brought up the appearance. Your take on it is really admirable and healthy and really reminds me of my sister who doesn't care that much about how we all look in this world. I, however, have had intense episodes of not liking how I look and trying my hardest to look my best version of myself. I have often been told that I am beautiful by my family which I should be grateful of but I guess at some point my identity and self-esteem became really attached on my looks, not only because of the feedback I got but also how I read the society - I don't say it's anyone's fault, it is just how it happened and how my mind interacted with the cues and signals around me and summed it all up. I became really afraid that if I didn't look my best everyday - wore fashionable clothes and had my makeup and hair in place - that somehow I wouldn't be of any worth anymore. People wouldn't like me anymore. So I do understand where it stems from that one has to do things just because they feel like that's what one is supposed to do in order to be liked and feel that one belongs. It's the fear that dominates. And it is so understandable. Rejection hurts. We are social animals, exclusion from a group in our primitive days would mean almost certain death. We have the immediate need to be liked and to belong. And our society, unfortunately, works in a way that there are us and there are those others who are different and people try really hard to huddle into this big group of us to not become the "those different ones". I wish that we could become more aware of these patterns so that we wouldn't feel so threatened by others who aren't like us. That we would let everyone follow their own paths. And admire them, for wanting to find their place in the world and being brave in doing that. I admire your bravery and wish you all well in everything you do! Sorry this became long! I study psychology and I guess I got carried away by the topic, haha! :)

[@EVGMoviemaker]

This is such an interesting topic! I can definitely see myself in there; I'm pretty confident in myself as a person, but always a bit nervous about what other people think, possibly also as a result of high school encounters, haha. I'm pretty shy and awkward as well, but sometimes I can also talk a lot around strangers. When I'm being quiet I think they must find me boring, if I talk a lot they must think I'm strange and airheaded. Great! I spend a lot of time thinking about my own personality, there are so many components to the way you feel, and that can be really confusing. It feels weird to really like yourself as a person while still being scared of how the world will treat you - am I confident or not? And it's also frustrating and reassuring at the same time to trace parts of your personality back to past events. It's annoying that bad experiences made you into a different person, while at the same time it's good to know why you feel the way you do- it gives you more grip on the situation, I think. Anyway, thank you for making this video and sharing your thoughts!

[@angiet7380]

I completely identify with this and I think you'd be a great psychologist

[@lauriebrousseau]

The most relatable video I've ever seen!

[@BinaBecker]

You sound a lot like me, even though I'm Canadian...and about twice your age! I got razzed and ostracized in school a LOT, and stalked on the street, and just generally terrorized. Well, okay, one difference: I'm not compared to any famous person, living or dead. And yes, I'm drinking tea right now, too.

[@LizaLavolta]

A lot of the things you're discussing- not going with the pack, outside looking in I can relate to. They really seem to be pretty common for introverts :)

[@SweeneyPotter202]

This is very fascinating. Thank you for sharing your experience. In a weird way I completely understand. I feel like I have gone through similar experiences- like people seem to not like what I do or say or how I dress- and I couldn't understand why. So I always defaulted to 'people just don't like me so whatever' which contributed to me being 'the quiet girl'. I love who I am but no one else does so I have really low confidence in myself and what I do...darn that individualist nature haha. I am just so thankful that you shared your story so now I know I am not the only one who has had this experience.

[@vero9883]

I feel the same about myself. I have high self esteem and medium to low confidence. I feel that my medium to low confidence comes from me being so shy and not knowing what to say when I am around others. I just like taking life in and enjoying my surroundings, but society makes me feel that I need to be a social butterfly or else I am not friendly, and because of this I have social anxiety. To much pressure. Lol I too have a strong sense to do what is right even if it is not the popular choice and for this we are confident. We are still willing to stand out to do what is right and at the end of the day we feel good about ourselves. I think if you have high self esteem you have a good measurement of confidence. It is just our shyness that makes us feel that we are not so confident. If that makes sense. Any whoo... Thanks for Tea time. I really do enjoy watching your videos.

[@zajaiva5]

Your channel feels like home to me!

[@bethfriends]

I am sorry, I have compared you to said comedian but I didn’t mean it in a bad way! I think your uniqueness makes you so beautiful! I wish I had your face shape! Anyway I can totally relate in a lot of ways to this insecurity- high self esteem and low confidence. I also have a high sense of what is right and wrong and following it to a T and get confused when others don’t feel the same or do what I see as having integrity etc. I have often been told that someone didn’t like me and not that they had any reason. But I have grown to love myself despite these interactions. I do however have a really hard time with confidence and it is a battle every day. Thank you for sharing

[@bilges9536]

Love you so much girl and i can totally relate to this. Love it when you do sit down chatty videos ❤❤❤❤

[@curledrocksy]

You were brave enough to create an account on the internet (and keep it alive for 10 years!) and let lame people comment bad things about you. This takes guts and I applaud you, dear Lucy. ♥

[@jencasey316]

I totally hear you on pretty much all of your points. I dont usually feel like I'm on the outside looking in with a group and I was much more confident in HS than I have become, but the rest. I never thought of beauty just being your face but to me it was always more about what your body could do and how you could use it (I was a dancer). And being a dancer probably helped my confidence because I was never picked on about dressing differently in HS - I came with practice clothes on most days because my dance teacher would pick me up from school and if I had to change that would cut into my warm up time before class. But all my classmates knew I was a dancer and that I was super serious about it - a lot even came to see the Nutcracker when I had (shared) top billing. They treated my "unusual dress" the way they treated the guys who were on the elite private hockey team who came from practice to school in the morning and generally still in their practice jerseys. It was only after my accident when I couldnt dance anymore that I started questioning myself and lost confidence. Also as a teacher now, I love that you respected your teachers - the students that show respect are my favorites - it doesnt matter if you are a straight A student or one that struggles to understand, as long as you are respectful you are a well liked student for your teachers.

[@bubble_bella6199]

First! I love watching your videos before school 💓

[@faycoleman9023]

I can relate on the topic of not fallowing a group. I rarely do. I didn't have many friends in high school for that reason. I tend to think others overlook me or don't like me. I value looks in other people a bit but I am more interested in a persons personality. So their looks are subjective. As for myself, I know I am attractive. I think I am less attractive than others perseive me as but aside from mild isucurity everyonce in awhile I really don't care. I don't worry about if person is gonna like me for my look. I worry about if they will like me for my personality.

[@coracastleberry866]

loooove this kind of content so much !!

[@Girlwithadeathnote]

Love your personality so much, and I relate to a lot of this. I was homeschooled almost my entire life and now I'm in university. Because of the way I was raised I sometimes feel like my values are completely different from those around me and I often feel like an outsider. I've learned to be okay with idea that some/ many people might not like me. Also it sounds like you have a view similar to the Wiccan rede (and it harm none, do what you will) so i was curious have you ever looked into Wicca?

[@Loepsie]

I have 😋

[@Girlwithadeathnote]

That's really cool. I think it's really interesting. 😊 Love watching your videos! I've been a fan for a while.

[@CresentMoonEnergy]

Hmmm, I fluctuate between low & high of both: My self esteem & confidence. At this time I'm high esteem, high confidence, but the crippling thing is ... 0 drive & self discipline. I think that's what bothers me the most T^T My energy levels for doing productive things (including hobbies outside of reading & gaming) is at an all time low. I think I just put a lot of pressure on "I can only do x when alone" so it limits me a lot. I like spending time glued to my fiance's side.

[@manalika27]

Hi Lucy, can you tell me what lipstick you're wearing in this video? Thanks

[@Loepsie]

It's NYX Liquid Suede in Soft-Spoken 😊

[@manalika27]

@@Loepsie It's a lovely shade :)

[@iliveforzelda]

It's human nature to recognize facial features, but it's society that teaches us to judge. I'm sorry people chose to speak on it in a negative way. I may have been reminded of that comedian once but it only brought up warm feelings because I really like him, his work brought my family together. seeing a slight resemblance only reminded me of the warm impact he's had on me. I hope its okay for me to say that, I just wanted to show some positivity on that subject.

[@Loepsie]

Oh definitely, don't worry about it! I don't mind the genuinely surprised-in-a-good-way comments that much, but many of them are more along the lines of "LOL where's your teddy" and that's just plain horrible :(

[@iliveforzelda]

+Loepsie yeah I understand. I understand how tiring it must be despite the resemblance being far-fetched. You did resonate with me when it comes to beauty not being a value. It's more of a joy right? thank you for helping me reflect on my own self-confidence ❤

[@onnalynn7004]

I agree with the whole beauty thing. I believe that everybody is beautiful in their own way, i hate the word "ugly" or any other form of that word. I grew up with the mindset that i was created unique and i was pretty in my own way and nvr really thought about it, i just wore and did with my looks what i liked... Then when i was 15, i chose to go from homeschool and private christian school to part time public school, and i found out that apparently i had an amazing body and a okay face with a huge ugly nose, but i was also too skinny and needed to eat alot of cheeseburgers, my belly button is too low on me, my boobs r too small, im too pale, i have too many pimples, my hair is too thin, my eyebrowns are too uneven, my teeth r funny, my shoulders are weird looking, i have man knees, i have too many moles, i have an adorable smile, i have beautiful clear blue eyes, i have cute freckles all over my shoulders and forehead, i have cute girlie feet, i have cute ears, my stomache is perfect, my body is like a models, my boobs are super perky, my legs are so long and beautiful, my hands are pretty, my cheeks are cute, i have cute dainty lips, my voice is adorable, my paleness is gorgeous, me being tall is like a model, my hair is so soft naturally... Those are just some of the comments i got as a teen...so of course i became VERY self conscious! I thought i was the ugliest thing in the whole world! I went from not giving a damn, and thinking we are all beautiful, to seeing the flaws in everybody, especially myself... I hated myself more than anything... And especially my nose, and how skinny i was... I started trying everything i could to gain a few pounds...and trying to hide my nose with makeup and long bangs covering half my face... It was a very tough time for me...the comments were 50/50, good vs bad...and of course i only focused on the bad. Luckily as i got older, say about 18 i slowly started to accept myself more...but i still had low self esteeme... It wasnt until i was 23 years old and pregnant with my son that i really started to not give a fuck anymore...but i didnt 100% turn back into who i used to be b4 i started public school at age 1t, until AFTER i had my son... My son looks EXACTLY like ME...even his nipples, and toe nails, and the cowlick in his hair...his face is a perfect replica of mine, besides his big full lips, and green/brown eyes...and i knew he was extremely beautiful, and if he is then i must be beautiful too! Also, i didnt have as much time to care about what i looked like anymore, and i had a room full of people looking inside of my vagina, and a bunch of strangers and my mom and sons dad watch my take a poop after giving birth... So i really got a "i dont give a fuck" attitude about what people thought of me and what i looked like. Now i just turned 28 a month ago and im glad to say my thoughts of beauty are almost jusy like yours. I believe that we are all beautiful, in our own way, God wouldnt create an ugly person, the only "ugly" people are the ones ugly on the inside. I dont think about if people will accept my looks anymore, or care if my style fits in with others around me. I wear the clothes i want, and do my hair and makeup the way i enjoy...i do what i like, despite if that style looks good on my to the world or is "in style" or fits in... I wear whatever i feel happy in! I have accepted my nose the way it is and accepted that my motabulism is extremely fast and i cannot gai.ln weight even if i tried real hard...i had a baby and lost weight... My looks and other peoples looks are one of the least important things to me...i believe we should all style ourselves the way we want so that we feel happy inside! I dress vintage mostly in the 4ps and 50s because it makes me happy, but sometimes i dress 20s or 30s, or 70s, 90s, or modern, or lolita/japanese/sceneish... I do what makes me happy. And could care less about others opinions on my looks or how others look. I do tell people that they r beautiful, and its true, because they r. Their unique beauty is what i see. So yeah...sorry how long this is...and im sure i couldnt explain exactly how i wanted to... But moral or it is... I agree with u, and we r all beautiful in our own way! Theres no such thing as ugly, only and ugly soul, heart. We r all beautiful! So dont worry about looks too much, theres much better things to do with ur time and mind and emotions.

[@Clarytee217]

I can soooo relate! Thanks for sharing. I've always been considerd an introvert and to some extent I guess I am but I enjoy and draw my energy from things that are consideres characteristic of extroverts. I got bullied for being shy, for liking what I liked, for many aspects of my outward experience, changeable or not. There are a few things that make me laught at the bullies from back then because to most people I look up to 10 years younger than I actually am. Whenever I tell someone my actual age I usually get a "wtf!". And I now get a lot of compliments for my hair since I figured out it is curly and am taking good care of it. Before I'd always brush and blow dry my hair and ended up with frizzy waves that gave no indication of being actually curly. (Thank you Fructis for producing some so ineffective products that I noticed I had curly by using one of your straightening balms). I'm also pretty happy in and with my body at this point, even though I'm probably bigger than I was in school. Not that it truly matters what others think but I'm having some petty fun with it.

[@jenny4444js]

I think we might be twins! Love the honesty in this video. You are an awesome person and I like you the way you are, don't ever change. 😊💖 Jenny Xx

[@bad_egg000]

i can feel you 😅 cheers

[@annemariesant9836]

I can so relate to this. It goes both ways cause I've been bullied and pushed away just because I've got a good figure and looks. Jealousy can make life hell for you too and it continued all the way to University. I believed it helped my self esteem cause now when I look back I laugh... I seriously do laugh cause they seriously where pathetic morons with not much of a life now. And I also value standing out of the crowd. Never had a problem with peer pressure and I love doing the opposite. Please make more of these videos :)

[@jennifergrove2368]

Omg, I do relate to this so much. I never thought about it before but yeah, I think one can totally have high self esteem and low confidence. It's usually said to be the other way around. It seems like the high confidence and low self esteem people are the ones to be most toxic. And maybe it's the one's that are the other way around that are high self esteem and low confidence that are the kind of "co-dependent" types. (Not that anyone is -completely- one way or another, but maybe we each have a little bit of one variation or another.) Fun fact: I went through a phase in high school where I wore whatever I wanted however I wanted. I distinctly remember wearing a robe tie thing as a belt once. I wore a detachable bra strap as a headband once. And I think I may have even wore a bra on the OUTSIDE of my shirt. Can't remember if I actually did that or not but I do remember thinking about doing it. lol!

[@StrongFives]

"The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do." - (Unknown, Reddit)

[@BasicMemory]

Feel Safe, Take care, I love you, Stay strong, Always hope, You are wanted.

[@sailorskinlefay2747]

One of your best videos❤︎

[@karoma5805]

So relatable-I value doing the right/good thing over the nice/easy thing, in social circumstances this has lead to me being more isolated in ways. For instance, when it comes to group situations, and it depends on the group, but I have found at times the 'majority' group may stick together and outcast certain members for whatever reason. I don't believe in turning your back on people in group situations like that for no good reason so I will talk to everyone in the group-however with time it seems people start to then turn their back on you for not also isolating that person??. I don't get that, I think people don't want to be associated with someone that might potentially make their status in the group be viewed differently-but I think this is wrong and have also been in situations where this could have happened but everyone was open and welcoming and believe this is a far better philosophy to go by. Anyway thanks for the video, I've recently joined your channels and have really been enjoying the content

[@PercivalHoward]

I am so similar to you!!! Great video

[@alesci3605]

You look like a young Angela Lansbury and it's a compliment, but it's not important! I like what you say in the last part of the video ;)

[@victoriansquirrel]

I like what you said about beauty. I have realized that no matter how a person looks, if the personality is right, their face will become the most beautiful to me. Even if I wake up, look in the mirror and see an ugly little goblin, my friends will think of this goblin face and think that it‘s cute. :)

[@tradingaddress]

Loepsie, when someone says you look like or remind them of an unattractive person, they're not saying you're ugly! They just see a resemblance. Please don't be offended by it.

[@Loepsie]

Many of those comments are unmistakably intended to offend, though :( It's not necessarily the resemblance itself but the way it's used to ridicule me. I'm fine if that's not the intention of course, but quite often it definitely is...

[@andreamichellerosa9582]

Fuck all people who made you feel that way, you are such a lovely person Lucy ❤️

[@basiagorska3362]

I can super relate! Are you maybe a highly sensitive person? Have you heard about this?

[@Loepsie]

I have, and I can definitely relate to many of the characteristics. Could very well be :)

[@basiagorska3362]

@@Loepsie I really relate to what you are talking about, especially the thing about "beauty" and being astonished how other people care so much - and the high school bit! Here is an article which resonated with me so much (as an extrovert HSP), it didn't change my life but made me understand why I am the way I am: hsperson.com/introversion-extroversion-and-the-highly-sensitive-person/

[@rosalie2762]

You go girl!!