College Student Survives Kidnapping at Knifepoint by Boyfriend

Kidnapped at knifepoint. Punched in the face and made to fear for her life. Those were the things 21-year-old Alexis Ruhlen had to endure in her toxic relationship. The New Jersey resident says she and her ex-boyfriend met on an app when she was a senior in high school. The honeymoon period didn't last long. About a year into their relationship, Alexis says verbal manipulation turned into physical violence.

[@mtb1015]

So he cheats on her but tries to control her and make sure she’s not with another guy. Classic narcissist and manipulator. Glad she’s safe:)

[@kayvillarosa7683]

And this will be normal if trump wins.

[@nuve9190]

That what my bf did too

[@jkgkj00]

My favorite part was when she took responsibility for her bad decisions and didn’t immediately blame “society”

[@rose.g.]

​@@jkgkj00 Abusers almost always hide their abusive behavior in the beginning. Most people don't chose known abusers. Then comes the threats to the victims and it causes a lot of fear to leave, because the abuse and threats escalate. There's a fear to stay, but often a bigger fear of leaving. Many victims that did leave (getting a restraining order and even relocating) end up dead, or their family ends up hurt or dead. This isn't about "bad decisions".

[@allye4228]

@@jkgkj00Really?

[@leroy44]

How did he get only 7 years? That plea deal was very lenient. Those were multiple felonies. He deserved at least 20 years.

[@AllAboutPurple]

So true, I won’t be surprised if they give him early release. I hope she moves far away & cuts off any relationship linked to him. They released some dude from Tennessee & he went straight to his victim & unalived her…sad Bricen Rivers is the name

[@jinxterpinxter]

The right complexion for protection.

[@Melissa.712]

20 years?! He should spend the rest of his life in prison!!

[@lottatroublemaker6130]

@@AllAboutPurple - What is that word I’ve been seeing lately «unalive». Why not say it like usual «k-i-l-l»??? I don’t get it… Please enlighten me… 🤗

[@seanna619]

The woman that stole chicken wings from her job a school got 40 years or something crazy like that and an abusive psychotic kidnapping boyfriend only got seven years America. We got problems.

[@WisperWoolf]

The “I couldn’t look people in the eye” because of an abusive relationship is the saddest truth.

[@candicesheryn]

amen, took me YEARS to be able to that again 1985 to 2003 is a long time to be brainwashed

[@Open_Your_Eyes]

YES! THAT is exactly how i knew it was time to get out. Im an outgoing person and i went to the store one day and couldn't look one person in the eye i felt shameful and ugly. I felt like everyone hated me ... Complete strangers .

[@ChebeGrowth]

I thought that was just me, abusive relationship really takes a toll on your mental health 😔

[@ChebeGrowth]

@@Open_Your_Eyesthat’s been me my whole life. Abuse started with my step dad to my mom to her boyfriend and then my kids father after he got out of prison. I have so much anxiety it’s not even funny

[@nancyellen8006]

@@ChebeGrowth Have you thought about counseling? Maybe changing your way of thinking about your abuser might help. I hope this pattern of abuse hasn’t been passed down to your kids. Good luck to you.

[@somozamaria]

the Abusive boyfriend should have his whole face plastered on social media

[@michelerenem]

He should be serving life in prison. he will hurt someone else or worse when he gets out. Prison rehabilitates NO ONE. Especially not in years, which he won't even serve 7 years. Probably half of that with gain time. Sick. Our justice system is a joke.

[@Sadbuttrue-ThatSwedishGirl]

Agree

[@Sadbuttrue-ThatSwedishGirl]

@@michelerenemAgree

[@Yelsapstar123]

Ditto that.

[@toastnjam7384]

Don't be surprised when he gets a girlfriend soon after released.

[@Lilith-bw9pq]

Why's his face not shown even once?! People need to know the criminals to stay safe.

[@LetsTravellChannel]

Have been seething throughout too!!!

[@nicolec907]

His name is Pawel Sliwinski.

[@redpillwoman9785]

@@nicolec907 He's Polish; that makes sense.

[@priscillae93]

​​@@redpillwoman9785 As If him being Polish has anything to do with it. These abusers come in many forms. 😅

[@kasiasse5781]

​@@redpillwoman9785 what do u mean?

[@amberbell1147]

I’ll bet this guy had many red flags before she even dated him. Raising awareness to help young women spot those red flags is so important.

[@icare4you123]

Which is another reason not to date someone that no one you know knows. He had to have history. Too bad his mom didn't clue her in.

[@Open_Your_Eyes]

​@@icare4you123 not true my abusive ex knew alot of old female friends i knew so i assumed he was a good man

[@jenninscho1980]

Right, "love bombing" was the start of the relationship the way she described it.

[@2FLIPS3.5TWISTS]

I love her spirit but she is in the early stages, imagine that was your first relationship, very interesting and good story to hear because the situation is unique.

[@kee7374]

Stop doing this mental gymnastics of trying to avoid holding men accountable. The whole point of abuse is successfully tricking someone into thinking you’re a good man, then once she is in love with you, start doubling down on the abuse. It’s physical AND psychological. We should emphasize women reporting, but should also teach men to not be entitled and respect women.

[@nicolejohnson4989]

" We met on a dating app while I was in high-school " 🚩🚩🚩

[@oopsthatwasme]

happens more than you think

[@hmqueenemiliei]

Where TF were her parents? This was out of control before he even got physical

[@MyHeart1955]

That’s all that needs to be said. Exactly

[@MyHeart1955]

And how’s that working for evabody. (Rhetorical)

[@nygalflheart333]

😂😂 for real lmfao

[@katewoolf6059]

I don't understand why abuser behavior isn't taught in public schools. It's a public health emergency

[@icare4you123]

I totally agree. Young women need to know the first signs of controlling behavior.

[@accessorygirlnyc]

Excellent point!

[@LovelyPeace-si7jp]

I just made this comment !!! great minds think alike and yes this is serious and our children should be made aware early on one of the ways to combat this epidemic is through education early on

[@flannelpillowcase6475]

because the public education system is controlled by males, we live in a patriarchy. males look out for males, they don't wanna pull the fire alarm on themselves obviously.

[@BA-hv7om]

I agree. 10000%

[@Artemis-re6yj]

Never tell children that they're women now or very mature for their age. They'll believe it.

[@Sydstuhz]

Exactly!!! That stuck out to me

[@Iamliterallythatgirl]

It’s grooming.

[@Iamliterallythatgirl]

Classic groomer line

[@anonnnymousthegreat]

When i was a kid and teen girl, i always was told i was mature for my age because of my mindset was not typically thinking at the level of a teenager or child. Never did i ever think it was an invitation to go off and do adult things. I knew that definitely for sure because i grew up in the hood and learned early on to keep my head on a swivel and never trust strangers, especially men. So this is not completely true.

[@rtrujillo5150]

Mature with the way she talks lmao?

[@luannestrickland4199]

He’s the epitome of insecurity in himself

[@rockon8174]

He cheated on her.

[@quinncreel6091]

@@rockon8174 Some people seek attention from the opposite gender to quell their own insecurities.

[@PlugChapo]

Her fault

[@PlugChapo]

She should’ve left when she found out he was cheating

[@goblin-night]

Nah, this is one of those pathological jealousy guys. He may or may not be insecure.

[@samantharose8744]

I love how much her parents tried to help her feel safe by changing things at the house & even offering to move all together. That's the kind of support that all victims need. 😇🤗

[@amberspaulding]

That was so beautiful. I was always told "he really likes you!"

[@thatgirl9532]

It’s surprising to me that people apparently “care” 👀

[@bunnylacy2097]

@@thatgirl9532what do you even mean by that?

[@bn_rose_gold]

She was her own hero. I’m so proud she had the courage to get out. And she inspired so many people!!!

[@lindagomes3839]

Totally agree. 🎉

[@pumpkin5490]

Question sorry I am younger but why wouldn’t she had lead him to the police, or had the police follow her home?

[@coriemmett1363]

God was her hero too!!😢

[@mrrrreow]

Just sad her parents or teachers didn’t teach her this was not normal or okay.

[@mirrrstery]

@@coriemmett1363absolutely not lol

[@Theoneandonly0818]

I went through the same thing for years! I finally got to the point where I was done! So I did what everyone said and I left. Two months later my ex broke into my house, kidnapped me and drove us both off a 70 ft embankment, hitting several trees on the way down, and landing in a dry creek bed Thank god it was dry because I would’ve drowned if not because of being unconscious. Luckily I didn’t even have time to put a seat belt on so I went through the windshield. I had over 450 stitches in my face, 10 fractured bones in my face alone, broke every rib that I have, punctured lung, completely crushed my ankle, which is now a titanium ball and screws. I had to learn how to walk again, I had to go through several months of physical and mental therapy for ptsd, anxiety, and depression. Me ex got a 20 year sentence for kidnapping and assault and only did 4 years and was released! He has a great job, making great money and living a great life! While I live life every day looking in the mirror and am reminded of what someone I loved did to me. It’s a crazy sad world we live in and domestic violence is not talked about nearly enough! I pray for you and any other dv victims!

[@heatherstewart9300]

4 yrs of a 20 yr sentence is INSANE!!!!!! WTF??!!!!!

[@traderLeah]

this makes me so mad. my heart breaks for you

[@mkuti-childress3625]

Was it because of “good behavior?” It’s always easy to have good behavior when your preferred victims aren’t in prison with you. Pedos and people who commit DV always seem to get out early for that reason.

[@Emma.S.]

Is there a way to appeal his early release? This is insane!

[@Adelaandhoneyandtiki]

​@@Emma.S. There is however, when the perp has access to resources it makes it a difficult upturn.

[@southbug27]

The first red flag 🚩 is an adult finding a high school senior online to date.

[@ninjapirate123]

It's not rare, I've heard most college aged girls date older men

[@MaddieElizabethMusic]

I'm a survivor. He didn't hit me but, he did everything else. He pushed me once and because I stood up to him in that moment and yelled at him, he left me two months later for the girl he cheated on me with. I reached out to her and told her if she needs anything to please talk to me. They ended up breaking up 7 months later after he broke her front door and shattered the glass door. We're best friends now.

[@jkgkj00]

He stayed with him for two months and wasn’t even gonna want to break up with him lol it’s so amazing how you always blame everyone but yourself

[@oopsthatwasme]

@@jkgkj00gross how you always blame the woman not the abuser.

[@allye4228]

@@jkgkj00You need help. I’ve seen you make a couple comments earlier downplaying abusive relationships. Go do something productive, and put the phone down.

[@ButterBiscuitGobbler]

Trauma bonding much? 😬

[@cee_el]

He’s trash but she also knew you were the gf no? But still stayed with him for 7 months?

[@Sara-mf3px]

“No one else is going to want me” makes my stomach churn. Narcissists love to used your insecurities against you and create more. Along with women’s health classes we should be teaching young ladies psychology and red flags. I wish I had known at 16 what I know at 40.

[@racheltarentino3314]

Every young woman should read The Gift of Fear

[@jenninscho1980]

Tell me about it. I think there should be a class for high-school students to learn the warning signs, etc. of an abusive relationship. My ex use to sing to me the verse from that 2000 song where it goes "and if you want to leave I can guarantee you won't find nobody else like me." 🙄

[@jenninscho1980]

​@@racheltarentino3314yes! A great book!

[@avastrawberry8519]

and not just the girls! teach the boys not to be abusive.

[@rose.g.]

Understand...Abusers almost always hide their abusive behavior in the beginning. Most people don't chose known abusers. Then comes the threats to the victims and it causes a lot of fear to leave, because the abuse and threats escalate. There's a fear to stay, but often a bigger fear of leaving. Many victims that did leave (getting a restraining order and even relocating) end up dead, or their family ends up hurt or dead. This isn't about "bad decisions". I'm glad she was one of the lucky ones!

[@donnawentz2221]

@rose.g-The abusers also make you believe it’s all your fault. With my situation I thought that if I hadn’t been doing drugs I wouldn’t have met my ex and wouldn’t be in this relationship.

[@Narnz80]

This is somewhat true, also a lot of people tend to turn a blind eye on the red flags thinking they're ok

[@jeremyness2395]

Wait so most abusers don't get physically violent on the first date before seeing if the abused would like to go on a second one? That don't add up

[@kristentrep5038]

The abuse starts slow, and they tend to make you feel so extra special! Your flattered by just how much they love you.. 😢

[@jeremyness2395]

@@kristentrep5038 Right because if assault someone walking them to their door after the first date a 2nd date and eventual relationship gets replaced by catching a case and probable prison time.

[@SEABIRDSYMPHONY]

There needs to be classes in junior high or high school or somewhere in this age range so the kids or young adults will know what to look out for and red flags or if you're with a toxic person. What's normal in a relationship and what's not normal. When you're just starting out dating you're young you don't know the signs and you need guidance from your family from your parents or some dating class. I'm so sorry for this woman I don't even know how she focused on her nursing school and classes. This is straight up insane!!!

[@nicolejohnson4989]

No it starts at home

[@meowsjy2456]

@@nicolejohnson4989as said not everyone has 2 parents or healthy relationships then they should have a class for it

[@rachelgoldfarb9390]

Agreed. I’m pretty sure they do educate children about healthy relationships. But not in the US. I think France does for instance

[@fandomtrash7505]

@@nicolejohnson4989 The whole "starting at home" doesn't help the kids who live in toxic homes.

[@Tori_T_Artist]

If it makes you feel better, I had a unit in class about this my freshman year of hs! It was a class that taught us a lot of important things, like this, the dangers of substances, phone use while driving, etc

[@esgiegee9576]

It’s never normal to have an abusive relationship. Never never never

[@chartmann43]

If he’s out in 7 years I think he would probably be looking for her as soon as he got out!

[@Kelsey-dk4vw]

Yeah I hope she’s gonna protect herself

[@danahouda5004]

I really hope she will be strong. May God protect her 🙏🏼

[@adw6894]

The laws need to protect the victims more. I feel like the criminals have more rights than the victims in most cases.

[@stephaniab2149]

7 years isn't long enough. I hope she is ready for when he gets out.

[@chantalleledesmaa]

He only got 7 years cause the other charges got dropped in order to avoid Alexis having to testify in court and protect her

[@lyperez0218]

I was thinking the same I will be so afraid of him getting out, he will be very dangerous for her and her family. I will move away and change my name.

[@NARCDELUSION]

The authorities know where to look if he comes for her. She changed, and improved herself a lot. He will find a different person, one that he doesn't know. More power to her, she did a great job to better herself.

[@Uncle_Fred]

@@NARCDELUSION He is very likely to go after her. It won't matter what kind of person she has become. His life will have essentially stopped the moment he goes to jail.

[@Fandar]

It's so outrageous and despicable that a male with no criminal history can, all of a sudden, be so evil, violent and hateful against a female he is/was in a relationship with, up to the point where he thinks murdering her is okay.

[@oopsthatwasme]

it’s insane how common this is

[@alexandranitana295]

He just never got caught before

[@babyjane87]

Well there has to be a first time and there will probably be more when he’s out

[@BlackGirlLovesAnime6]

No criminal history just means you weren’t caught yet. That’s why it’s important to be aware of the signs too

[@auroraborealis6671]

You think this was the first time he was like this??

[@julieunderwood525]

I'm a survivor of 18 years of Abuse I'm stronger and have my Eternity voice back !!!! Never be afraid to get help even if you think its Impossible !!!

[@ms.mojo_risin]

💜🧡

[@evarm7546]

I wish I had your strength to leave my 23 year abusive relationship 😢

[@jilllaureys4981]

I'm so proud of you! I just got out of a 22 year abusive relationship. I did try leaving in the past (3 to be exact), but he would charm his way back in. Thought I could change him, I understand now that it couldn't happen. I may be broke, homeless and alone... but I would rather have that then be his punching bag any longer. He's in jail right now, facing a class 1 felony of threatening to slice my throat with a knife (which is all on the 911 recording). He's looking at 10-15 years in jail!

[@Suezee66]

​@evarm7546 you do have her strength you do

[@rayharvey1330]

Seriously...they don't show the dude for the whole video?🤔

[@oopsthatwasme]

horrible men will always be protected by the media.

[@TheVitamin421]

Pawel Sliwinski- google it

[@JustASmallTownGirl85]

His name is Pawel Sliwinski you can Google his name to see a Pic. I thought it was weird they didn't show him also.

[@rayharvey1330]

​@@JustASmallTownGirl85 Thanks. Based off his pics...Looks like he might have dabbled in roids...and that could have partially led to his anger issues.

[@vladimirpetrov7530]

@@rayharvey1330 sure, make excuses for him, weirdo.

[@gigif8566]

That he only received SEVEN years for terrorizing her for years, kidnapping & attempted murder is truly INSANE. I'm thankful that she is telling her story & helping others. I've seen male & female friends, coworkers & sadly relatives go through mental/physical abuse in relationships and it's heartbreaking. When you know the signs you can help/warn that much earlier.

[@ginmar8134]

He's a classic abuser; starts out as Prince Charming.....Read Lundy Bancroft's "Why Does He Do That?"

[@KrystalAri]

They all do! Also check out The Power of Fear! Listen to your gut ladies or else 💀

[@GrainneDhub-ll6vw]

OMG I recommend Lundy Bancroft's book all the time and he's probably gotten a royalty check just from the number of books I've bought to give away. I'm always glad to see someone else recommending it.

[@ginmar8134]

@@GrainneDhub-ll6vw It is SUCH an amazing book! "The Gift of Fear," too, though it has some problems.

[@LightBlueVans]

and absolutely necessary book for survivors of abuse and ESPECIALLY those still stuck in the thick of it.

[@TinaTheGroomer]

My Mom with 6 kids was brutally beat by our step Dad for 15 years….. your comment leaving is the most dangerous time is so true…… so grateful that you had the wisdom to take your car and get to the police ♥️

[@roxiegs348]

Just because someone was given a felony title and was in prison for seven years, doesn’t mean jack. They don’t care about the laws. They should’ve pursued the highest punishment.

[@maxgomez4296]

Not in my culture - there’s nothing sexy about dating someone who is toxic

[@coriemmett1363]

Exactly

[@justicehayes4715]

Nothing. Not normal or ok.

[@stephaniecobian725]

Some people grow up in this environment and enjoy the normalcy. Also, parents should be educating their children about what normal relationships should be like. Most just come up with the idea that their children will live and learn so there’s no point.

[@Iamliterallythatgirl]

You never been in America then

[@socialmediamanagement1859]

​@@stephaniecobian725i agree with you!

[@jessicaelliott4243]

I had an ex hold me hostage in my apartment and beat me the whole time until I attempted to jump out my second story window when he finally fell asleep. He received 88 days to run concurrent with a gun charge. It's negligence on the laws parts for letting men get away with this.

[@Belovelyava]

But if you took him out in defense of yourself, the law would have been on his side. I’m sorry you went through that.

[@susanmcconnell6041]

He's a narcissistic sociopath. I'm married to one, so I know. He's so charming, and is so attentive to OTHER women. LOOOOONG story. Yeah, and I'M stuck, cuz he takes all my fixed retirement income, and I have a farm and animals to take care of. Then, he tells everyone how crazy I am. I rarely leave my farm, except for dr appts or surgeries. I prayed that God would get his attention. He recently had an emergency surgery, and they discovered a rare cancer. He hasnt changed,...yet...but I trust God WILL change him. He is a bully coward.

[@tumblingqueen2770]

Run and don’t look back.

[@rissasmithg]

People like him never change, please escape from him behind his back. Things can escalate at any time.

[@LetsTravellChannel]

I wish your prayer would have been: "i prayed that God would call him to the other side permanently". There fixed for you ma lady. Otherwise, sorry that you have to endure all that!! Stay strapped.

[@wendijones5942]

So familiar 2nd time around....

[@ChristinaMurillo-yt4si]

😢knowing that you need is income is a way of him to make you think you wouldn't be able to do it without him trust me girl you would be alot happier if you just make your own income and in a peaceful house

[@WolfHeartMedia]

You're so lucky to have a family that supports you like that, ive been through countless moments of abuse and my parents don't help and actively suggested i stayed with my abusers

[@Rangersarethebestintheuk2023]

Wait what

[@WolfHeartMedia]

@@Rangersarethebestintheuk2023 yeah :(

[@Rangersarethebestintheuk2023]

@@WolfHeartMedia feel bad man

[@WolfHeartMedia]

@@Rangersarethebestintheuk2023 ikr

[@Rangersarethebestintheuk2023]

@@WolfHeartMedia just letting you know I am here for u

[@Alice_mayami]

"I'll probably end up being hit by him but I'm not in danger here" This is scary and real. I have lived this reality, not to her extent but this type of thing is normal when you have no one to guide you and no one to show you the signs. Especially with the older generations who will talk down on you for leaving someone who is quite literally abusing you because they believe in "working things out".

[@LetsTravellChannel]

This!!!

[@ShellieCarter-qm6ow]

Hearing her story, I see alot of my own. Even though its been almost 30 years, when triggered, its like I'm there again, saying and doing whatever I have to, to survive. Being kept from my family, losing my friends, hiding cuts, bruises and bald spots, making excuses, the embarrassment, the threats, physical, mental and emotional abuse. It seems awfully easy for people to who've never been in situations like this to throw comments. Lucky you. Glad that you've never been in a place like this, begging and praying that you make it out alive. For so many women, making it out alive isn't the outcome. She is an amazing young lady, I'm so very proud of her and she will do fantastic things! Way to go sweetie👏👏👏💪👏👏👏!

[@pensacolafishin]

His name is Pawel Sliwinski

[@Kelsey-dk4vw]

Yeah weird they didn’t show him at all

[@teresacline6672]

​@@Kelsey-dk4vw I think she just wanted to focus on her own journey and her healing in her story 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@Anna.T.]

I wish they would have showed his face or name at least. Wtf. Women need to know who to avoid.

[@Kelsey-dk4vw]

@@Anna.T. totally agree

[@cece82gemini27]

He looked nuts 😳

[@weirdalpacagaming682]

This is a powerful story that should be a movie. I think it’s a good message for young girls in relationships today to recognize red flags. There were a couple times where I thought I would’ve gone to the cops. But we need to let young women know that this type of behavior is unacceptable. And obviously this guy had mental illness. She’s very blessed to be alive.

[@chailatecookies7341]

What a brave girl to stand up for herself and get the justice she deserves although 7 years isn’t enough. Glad she’s safe and well 💕💕

[@SuperSoli10]

I’m so glad you survived this and your safe now ♥️

[@LilyBecca]

He love bombed her, then started slowly trying to control her. Then manipulating and gaslighting and more love bombing. It's a viscious cycle.

[@TheDarkMEXiCaN2020]

You need to choose your significant other accordingly. Do not ignore the red flags.

[@katiemvp6536]

The love of parents!!❤❤ my heart breaks for you. He is still going to get out so please I pray for your continued safety

[@gaaaabbbyy]

“well you had wanted to watch that documentary, about the serial killer, well i’m gonna make this such a big deal to the point we’re gonna have a netflix series” sent chills down my spine.

[@yourenotfunny4631]

how insecure does one have to be to hurt someone at this high of a level

[@racheltarentino3314]

Its narcissistic sadism

[@hnichole]

Her saying "I've done harder things" really resonated with me. I'm a survivor of childhood abuse, and being 21 years old now and trying to work through that trauma, I say the same thing to encourage myself. I tell myself "I've been through harder things" when it seems like I'll never work through the damage that trauma caused me, I appreciate seeing another abuse survivor who does the same thing.

[@user-mt5lj8ot3h]

I'm a survivor. I was in her same position when I was young with someone a little older. It started just like this. Sending her all the love. We must do more to protect women in these situations. I was in the hospital multiple times but he was friends with the police & never had to pay for what he did. He was feom Greece and his mother insisted he could do no wrong bc he was the first born. She insisted it was my fault. I got out 15 years ago, moved to another state, he's STILL looking for me.

[@likethatidea9899]

To protect people*

[@esmeneely292]

Please be safe

[@kayvillarosa7683]

​@@likethatidea9899thanks for ignoring the importance of the message and giving an English lesson nobody asked for. It must be challenging to be perfect in an imperfect world.

[@AyathKhan-ni1ym]

I hope that things get better for you. Stay strong❤️

[@Any-Brilliant6935]

Lies, lies, lies 🤦

[@DD-oi3vh]

He asked why the pumpkin was still in the car, bc he saw it and was convinced it was proof you’d been elsewhere overnight instead of home, so he assumed it was proof of cheating. My ex was the same. Ended up with lifelong restraining order after he tried killing my baby and me. Spent last 23 years running and hiding from his psycho mood swings.

[@LetsTravellChannel]

You can leave the country you know! Instead of living in fear for the last 23 years!!! Also stay off social media

[@stephaniebrake1175]

When they go on their psycho rants they look at anything for proof of their delusions

[@snowbrry]

I’ve been in this situation and even years after I got out, he would still try to come back while also trying to hurt me (showing me all the other women he slept with) it took me a long time to finally be able to completely block him. It’s been 7 years and now in a healthy and happy marriage

[@mamajj8279]

Sooo proud of and happy for you. Many haven't been that fortunate. Good for you!👏🏾

[@ddoubleu170]

Young women need to KNOW to call the police. This is not human-like behavior.

[@oopsthatwasme]

expect the police don’t even believe them most of the time and brush it off.

[@oopsthatwasme]

calling the police is what CAUSES them to get violent

[@rose.g.]

Abusers almost always hide their abusive behavior in the beginning. Most people don't chose known abusers. Then comes the threats to the victims and it causes a lot of fear to leave, because the abuse and threats escalate. There's a fear to stay, but often a bigger fear of leaving. Many victims that did leave (getting a restraining order and even relocating) end up dead, or their family ends up hurt or dead. This isn't about "bad decisions".

[@tainamichelle2683]

It's sadly pointless most of the time. The police mainly ignore the warning signs and don't actively get involved until something terrible happens. It's just sad that this is the world we live in.

[@Fumblebeebyyourside]

@@rose.g.👏🏻👏🏻 So true. Well written❤

[@JenSwarbrick1966]

Why is there a suicide helpline warning on this? Shouldn't it be domestic violence? KZbin, you're drunk again, go to bed.

[@ajanoble1884]

I wish every survivor had or could receive afterward the amount of love and support she did

[@Loveroffood41]

My ex-husband was the same way, and he was 2 years younger than me. I am so glad that I got out when I did.

[@Hayley20605]

As a lawyer who hopes to help survivors like Alexis, Alexis, YOU INSPIRE ME.

[@coriemmett1363]

❤

[@NathalieCwiekSwiercz]

I dont know you but I'm sooo very proud of you! We need you! ❤

[@teresaguerrero531]

I admire your desire to help victims. In 1996 I met my ex when I was 17 and he was 25😬 I didn’t know he was a narcissist and manipulative person. I got pregnant at age 19 and moved in with him and my mom was disappointed that I got pregnant out of wedlock so he used that to say that my family was not good to be around 😢 I didn’t communicate with my family for 7 yrs. We got married 1998 had 3 kids I was thinking he will change when he sees I’m so committed and I’m a great mom and wife 😢nope it got worse. He always threatened to kill himself and have knives so I always had to convince him to please stop that 😢Nowadays there’s more information out there and resources I hope more people reach out for help

[@Hayley20605]

@@NathalieCwiekSwiercz aww thanks! I’m so glad to be able to use my JD for something to help women in any way I can!

[@Hayley20605]

@@teresaguerrero531 wow I’m so sorry to hear your story. So brave of you to speak up. Thanks for sharing. I hope to use my JD to help more women like you. My heart goes out!

[@navaskin]

Glad he didn't take you away. Thanks for sharing I hope this helps someone make a change.

[@juanakravitz3024]

The deadly key words in this sentence “ oh your talking to that person I don’t want you to..” BIG RED FLAG 🚩 the start of a deadly relationship. I’ve been through this when I was a teenager. All this story deals with fear 😧 control it’s sad that this still happens to people

[@dominicr9068]

In a relationship, u either trust the person or u don't. If it's controlling, walk away because it's obvious they don't trust u

[@rose.g.]

Abusers almost always hide their abusive behavior in the beginning. Most people don't chose known abusers. Then comes the threats to the victims and it causes a lot of fear to leave, because the abuse and threats escalate. There's a fear to stay, but often a bigger fear of leaving. Many victims that did leave (getting a restraining order and even relocating) end up dead, or their family ends up hurt or dead. This isn't about "bad decisions".

[@hmqueenemiliei]

Yes ☝🏼that is so true plus it's not easy to leave someone every situation is different could the girl have left him before any of this went down Yes but if he was willing to do this because she wouldn't answer the phone plus whatever else led up to that just think of how things would have happened or might have happened if she told him she was leaving him He probably would have killed her immediately without even taking her anywhere

[@thatgirl9532]

Devils advocate here but a lot of times people give the other person reason/reasons enough to do what they do… Idk man there’s a lot of truth to what she says with evidence.. but her lack of emotion is what questions it.. 🤔

[@dominicr9068]

@@thatgirl9532 there is no excuse for him beating on her. He's a coward

[@Gnomesmakemesmile]

Many don't realize that 1.very few can afford therapy 2. It's so terrifying even thinking or planning to leave 3. the fear impacts yoir ability yo make decisions 4. crimes against women aren't treated as seriously as they should be 5. the trauma does heal somewhat but never completely

[@tinaq1376]

He will come back for you once he gets out. I hope you learn self-defense martial arts or move to another city and don't use social media. Change your name.

[@RAWWJUSTICE]

What the actual hell is wrong with you ? Making this beautiful girl more terrified than she already is and way before it's even time for him to get released. She doesn't need these comments . I understand the concern but the way you worded it is way off putting I would rephrase and maybe say I would look into taking some defense courses just in case he has any funny ideas when he gets out. It's less aggressive which she needs right now otherwise she's going to feel attacked just by reading this. Just a suggestion and I know from personal experience I went through a worse kidnapping in 2016 and he just got out last month

[@xirus2]

@@RAWWJUSTICE I mean hes not lying, she doesnt seem like the brightest and she alsi doesnt seem like she has any survival instincts "having to decide staying in the car or driving off was the hardest decision" wtf

[@itsmikaa8496]

He’s obsessed with her .. gonna call from jail , harass and stalk.

[@xirus2]

@@itsmikaa8496 and thats why she should move

[@HurricanePatrick]

Never, ever, take a plea deal when it comes to Domestic Violence

[@miahill6864]

Brave young woman. May the horror you lived fade away with a better future relationship.

[@LetsTravellChannel]

A better future relationship with herself

[@noob_gaming1491]

0:20 "It's very normalized to be in a toxic relationship". No it fken isn't

[@meahdahlgren6537]

​@Juann-k5pright

[@ronnieeilert8491]

In some Hollywood movies, it makes it more dramatic.

[@marlyb176]

@@nygalflheart333 what she said has some truth to it. A lot of people don’t understand what a healthy relationship looks like and so therefore it is very normalised to be in a toxic relationship. I don’t think she meant it as in. It’s okay but it actually is normalised.

[@cece82gemini27]

She is saying the culture especially with social media, makes it look cool😂 and I agree. At 40 I'd never date today (if I was single) because everything toxic is glorified. People pay attention to these weird relationships where people argue and abuse each other over the internet. The more toxic, the more clicks and views and attention.

[@l.s.squirrel4226]

"Whirlwind, moving fast." Ladies (and young men), this is how abusers start. You get swept up in that early romance. Then the control starts. True adult love feels more like a friendship that turns into a partnership.

[@FawnNicholeA]

I was just abducted and beaten by my ex also. This is horrible and I hope you can recover psychologically and emotionally and feel safe.

[@rachaelcox4104]

This is 100% my ex ! I got away from him, with our three kids, almost three years ago now! He was so scary. It's so hard to explain how it is to live with someone like this. I'm so glad my kids and I got away from him. I pray for all the others stuck with someone like that

[@MsWDWFAN1]

This is why I don't want a man in my life! I did get out of an abusive marriage and it didn't get physical but it was verbally, mentally and emotionally which did affect me. I'm glad i got out before it would've gotten physical. I would never want to meet someone online. It's so hard to trust anyone these days! They can lie on their profile and be a completely different person or like in this case, start out great then thier true colors come out! So glad she was able to get out of that awful relationship!

[@tamarabuchwald507]

With men its not a matter of if but when, Better stay single then take risks with them

[@BlackGirlLovesAnime6]

Men like this can’t hold their mask up for long. His mask slipped pretty early in their relationship. Early enough to see the signs and leave before it escalates. The problem with this girl is that she was not taught about these signs and was naive since it was her first real relationship. Men like this exist in real life and online. They need to be outed and exposed more often.

[@springroll4U]

Unfortunately once he gets out he will find another victim with probably more serious outcome!

[@racheltarentino3314]

Yup

[@jillanejames4590]

Seven years is too short, I hope she has it in the back of her head to protect herself when he is free, I know of a woman that was murdered when her abuser was free after ten years. Sometimes they keep that anger for the victim and blame the victim for their time in jail.

[@riskey6788]

Guys now days unhinged ‼️BE CAREFUL LADIES

[@49ers_red_and_gold2]

It's always the man 🙄

[@isabella6075]

Typical behaviour from them

[@nuve9190]

Fr

[@Melissa.712]

​@@49ers_red_and_gold2YES Especially ones that look like you!

[@isabella6075]

@@Melissa.712 🤣🤣🤣🙆🏾‍♀️

[@astridy6631]

My lowlife ex started grooming me at 17 he was 10 years older. I stayed closed to 12 years before I found out his behavior was not normal.

[@TankPunisher-kr2yz]

The guys name is Pavel Sliwinski. You' re welcome

[@ddoubleu170]

*You’re 🙏🏾 Thank you!

[@Any-Brilliant6935]

It’s you’re not your actually ☝️🤓

[@kelly420s]

​@@Any-Brilliant6935😶🫡

[@sarahlu7378]

**Pawel

[@Anna.T.]

THANK YOU

[@olekmasidnoz9182]

I would be fuming at my daughter or son if they was getting abused and say nothing

[@pajgart]

This happened in Connecticut... and I never heard about it. I pray that she has been able to heal and flourish in life!

[@QHarbin]

New Jersey

[@MxichaelsRoblox]

longest Inside Edition video in awhile, wow Glad she’s safe ❤️

[@candiilorae1149]

My Ex boyfriend did the same thing to me . I was kidnapped beaten and raped repeatedly and he only got 6 years..Trust me I feel your pain stay strong Sis!

[@HKim0072]

How did this dude have his own life while keeping tabs on her 24-7?

[@LetsTravellChannel]

He probably had Spyware on her gadgets

[@spikesecho724]

She described him as an "older guy" but it was a three year age gap?

[@kikigam7113]

Because she was a teenager and he was in his 20s

[@user-mt5lj8ot3h]

It's a significant gap when she was still in high school when they started dating. Those years mean a lot.

[@SalveRegina8]

Yup.

[@Any-Brilliant6935]

@@kikigam711318 is not a teenager 🤓🤓

[@user-dn6bg7sb6u]

Why can't she date someone her own age?

[@MayuraTS]

She's definitely a survivor, but I also have to give kudos to her parents for supporting her. They did and were willing to do so much to protect her and make her feel safe. Glad she had thay support system.

[@BMCLegacy]

She says this so matter of fact. He was hitting her for a year. I wish she had people that were real friends and could have gotten her help. She was so naive. Shes still minimizing major red flags before hand. She needs therapy

[@Merrellina]

Ya I found this to be very odd.

[@gamerschannel9610]

Only 7 years? That should easily be a 30-50 years sentence.

[@Tina-ez5pg]

The second he started the text barrage she should ave called 911 IMMEDIATELY!

[@Amused_Comfort_Inc]

It’s not normalized to be in a toxic relationship.

[@spikesecho724]

Yes it is, nearly every romance portrayed onscreen (both film and tv) as well as written in books, is toxic

[@corriethomson4431]

​@@spikesecho724No, it's not. That's fiction. It's not normal at all.

[@Amused_Comfort_Inc]

@@spikesecho724 that may be your opinion but it’s not the truth.

[@omegasensei382]

​@spikesecho724 i think it's quite the opposite they teach to escape/breakup/breakfree from those relationships

[@scottthomas4334]

​@@spikesecho724😂 because women also go for the bad boy and leave the good guys in friendzone

[@ec164]

This girl was in high school but dating a guy 3 years her senior? Where was the parental guidance?

[@AJFreeman-oj4rp]

I’m glad she is safe and okay. The guy needs to rot in Jail.

[@jeannerosen9024]

As a survivor l know your story. Thanks for speaking out. In my day no one would help me. Yes leaving was the most dangerous and l am lucky to be alive.

[@angelique25m11]

Ladies, please don't fall for the older guys who chase after young girls and don't date in their age range. It's because they can't run game on mature women. Glad she's okay.❤

[@LetsTravellChannel]

She was 18 and he was only 21 ( just 3 age gap) - how is that older men classification?

[@angelique25m11]

@@LetsTravellChannel why you mad for?

[@imtheeastgermanguy5431]

That is utter nonsense. Only one guy is useless that doesn't mean that every older guy is automatically bad👎👎

[@earthchild21]

She is so so brave for sharing this! I hope she keeps speaking on what lead her to date this man. She could save a lot of girls

[@ADwan83]

I wish she had agreed to go to court….i understand she was fearful but 7 years will fly by and he will only have learned that he needs to not leave a victim alive next time….her wanting to avoid court may cost the next girl her life

[@unsocialsocialbutterfly294]

Or her own🥺

[@mallorypineda9293]

Domestic violence needs to be talked about more especially in young people. I’ve been in a domestic violence situation at a young age and it took awhile for me to get out so I applauded her! For staying strong and standing her ground

[@KirstenC-q2x]

The abusers mother calling the abused girlfriend. Classic.

[@Lionforaday]

Its funny that she says people have always told her she's mature for her age. She seems quite childlike in some ways. Not a criticism, just an observation.

[@jessiekatetheking]

What a lovely young woman. I’m so glad she’s ok! 😢

[@rachelp8183]

Poor girl, she needs counseling so that she can understand what a healthy relationship is. 😢

[@QHarbin]

She talks about therapy and how it important it has been to her.

[@dr.j1416]

Now I’m understanding why Women would rather be with a Bear than a Man.

[@imtheeastgermanguy5431]

Not every man is like this

[@Blub2cool]

@@imtheeastgermanguy5431i think the point is that they could be and it would be equally as dangerous as being with the bear.

[@imtheeastgermanguy5431]

@@Blub2cool you can still talk to a man and maybe he can change but a bear will not when it's hungry or angry

[@DayanaBennett]

Way to go, Alexis! Your story empowers victims and educates to avoid these toxic individuals.

[@saucegotti8538]

Where’s his picture?

[@Any-Brilliant6935]

On your phone? 🤨🤨

[@swiles59]

His name is Pavel Sliwinski.

[@Anna.T.]

My thoughts exactly.

[@rosatoledo5568]

The first time I went to my boyfriend's house I noticed there was a missing piece of the upper part of the bed. I asked him and he said he got so mad with his ex-wife that he hit it to avoid hitting her. I said that if he ever does that to me, I'll call the cops. He said I won't dare to do that. I told him, 'try me'. I was stupid enough to marry him. One day he got mad and held my wrist very harshly. I grabbed the phone immediately and faked a 911 call knowing that he will chicken out. Immediately he apologized because he's a coward. That was 20+ years ago. We have been married for 30 years and never again he tried mistreating me. I got lucky, but I encourage women that get into a toxic relationship not to wait a minute after they notice the first signs. It's not criticism of Leslie or anyone in her situation, it's just that thank God she was brave enough to go to the cops, but girls, run away as fast as possible. ❤

[@johnphilpot5205]

I can’t believe anyone could hurt a woman.

[@dafg1119]

What does that even mean?

[@jillanejames4590]

Sarcasm?

[@amycurtis535]

Funny😂

[@robrobertson4964]

Bullys do it all the time

[@hellloca4462]

It happens even more than you can think! That's the saddest part! Leaving is so hard! I thank life to be alive today!

[@autumnicole1000]

Thankful she had parents to show up and make her feel secure afterwards. ❤️

[@brroookkeee]

I’m glad she’s ok. She says her friends never told her this was wrong and they knew he hit her and was controlling? I hope she found new friends. Very concerning

[@Tommysays]

I live in FL. My ex threatened to dump me in the ocean. I LEFT

[@robinhoward4204]

Good for you - I will never understand another human treating someone so badly yet they won't let them leave. I was out one night with a man I'd been seeing for a few weeks. He started an argument about how moody and hard to please I was, even though it was he that was moody and sullen a lot of the time. I told him if he wasn't happy with me then let's call it quits. He then got angry and started to tell me everything he didn't like about me. I jumped out of the car, locked myself in my house and never talked to him again. I heard later that he had a series of girlfriends that he ended up being physically abusive with. I had a lucky escape. I hope you stay safe.

[@Tommysays]

@@robinhoward4204 was it scary. Being in ur house? I ALWAYS looked the blinds.didnt sleep an hour some nights

[@robinhoward4204]

@@Tommysays I didn't want my comment to be too long winded but he actually turned up one night at midnight about a month later as if nothing had happened. I did not let him in and thank goodness he left (revved his car as an angry gesture though). I hightailed it over to my mum for the night and yes I was very uneasy for a few nights, but he didn't bother me again.

[@Tommysays]

@@robinhoward4204 oh it's fine. I read it all. ☺. Thank u for sharing. I'm happy to know that you haven't seen him since.

[@samanthalsweeney]

She is a strong woman!