Integrated Attachment Theory: Transform Your Love Life with These 5 Powerful Pillars

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Transform Lives & Build a Fulfilling Coaching Career with the Integrated Attachment Theory™ Program attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/iat?Ev1whG8H0S4&el=youtube

[@gregvanpaassen]

On abandonment: most children who were in daycare have experienced this, repeatedly. Often while they were too young to be able to remember it as adults. Insecure attachment as adults is no surprise after thirty years in which daycare has been the socially approved method of raising children. Males become avoidant, females often anxious.

[@GeoffreyAngapa]

Informative video. As a former sufferer of OCD, my advice to people trying to change something is insight and action. Remember, a lot in the mind is a lie. A phantom lion roaring in front of you. Change the actions (prove that the lion is counterfeit and made of smoke), and the thoughts change. In short, you've got to do the opposite from what you've been doing, in order to break the shackles. Translating this to attachment problems, it means that the avoidant needs to do the opposite of avoidance: closeness. And the anxious, distance. The fearful avoidant needs to adopt both approaches, doing the opposite when nature says otherwise.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you for sharing your insightful advice! It's amazing how changing our actions can impact our thoughts and feelings! ❤

[@culalamola2]

I reeeaaally love this new way of presenting your knowledge Thais. Thank you so much for teaching people what you know. Your help is so appreciated ❤

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Your support means the world to me! I'm grateful for the opportunity to share what I love and happy to hear it's appreciated! ❤

[@markcafebrown2883]

I always have had the fear of abandonment because my dad passed away when I was 9. I’ve never quite figured out how to get past that but to work on never abandoning myself.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you for sharing your story. It's inspiring to see your determination to work on yourself. Be kind to yourself! ❤‍🩹

[@LeeChrissy]

This sounds so familiar. My dad died when I was 8. I didn't realize I had a fear of abandonment until I started PDS last year. I usually opt not to date because the anxiety I feel investing in people who might eventually leave is too much for me. I test secure now that I've done the work, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm almost afraid to set myself back by dating again. 😢

[@markcafebrown2883]

@@LeeChrissy i hear you. I gotta say though, as hard as it is to lose someone you love, it’s the most beautiful feeling when you are in love with someone who is in love w/you. My wife is in therapy for complex trauma from a past abusive relationship. She gets flashbacks of things that happened to her and it made her afraid of me. Now she is healing and I’ve had to put my fear aside and focus on her the kids and her healing. I know if I can do that, you can put your fear aside and let yourself fall in love. As long as you have yourself you are going to be all right

[@markcafebrown2883]

@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool aww thank you Thais. I appreciate you so very much. You are so sweet and thank you for sharing your knowledge of attachment theory as it helps all of us who watch your videos. You have been a god send to me while my wife is in therapy healing from past relationship trauma. You have helped me see how to communicate better w/her and to really understand her better and you are making me a stronger person

[@LeeChrissy]

@@markcafebrown2883 thank you. I wish you and your family well. ❤️

[@alswls01]

i love your content & hope to be able to utilize your integrated attachment system in my future profession. i would also love to see a video regarding navigating the modern dating world with the different attachment styles after being single for a while. Returning to the dating scene as a fearful avoidant who has been working on myself has been challenging to say the least! Thanks so much!

[@insiderbe1981]

Great summary

[@jonqualey2204]

Some of the dismissive avoidant behaviors appear to (at least superficially) cross over into high functioning autistic behaviors. Particularly the feeling of being different or defective and being socially distant or disconnected. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

[@NOSTYLECO]

I’m not really sure the reason for the comparison here. I suppose the emotions an Allistic person feels can also be experienced by a person with ASD and vice versa. The mind however is developed completely different offering up an array of distinctive struggles with intellectual, social and work readiness skills for a person with ASD. Also due to its negative ties with n*zi Germany the term high functioning has been replaced with level 1 or low support needs by the medical and autistic community. NPR has a great article on the origins of the term.

[@mariarossi6719]

Just discovered you and love your content. Do you think it’s not such a good idea to train as life coach if we have codependent tendencies? People often tell me I’d be great at coaching but I’ve just found out I match a lot of the criteria for codependency.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Coaching might be the perfect opportunity to break free from codependency by empowering others to find their own strength. It's all about turning weaknesses into strengths! You'll also be learning a lot of different ways to heal your own codependent patterns ❤‍🩹

[@mariarossi6719]

@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Thank you so much. I was afraid this might take decades to reverse.

[@SK-no2pp]

Can someone help me: avoidant man while calling me 3 days in a row now, is telling me “you should find a nice guy.” But also expressing romantic interest in me. How should I respond to that? When he tells me to find a nice guy to settle down with…meanwhile we’re on the phone for 4 hours together. It’s so perplexing. How should I respond