INTERESTING Dutch birthday celebrations and customs - US vs. the Netherlands differences

Dutch birthday celebrations and customs can come as quite the surprise to an American living in the Netherlands! In this video, I tell you all about it.
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I like to share my experiences of an American expat in the Netherlands. I describe both the unique and everyday aspects of Dutch culture, and life in Holland while enjoying every bit of it!
Blog website: www.dutchamericano.com
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[@AnagramGinger]

If you say to you dutch friends “I think I really wanna have a birthday party this year” the response you will get is “yeah, you should!”

[@i.k.8868]

You can circumvent the kisses by coming late. You can just congratulate the host at the door, and greet everyone at once when you enter the room. No one will be offended, in fact they will all understand and admire your courage to break tradition. :)

[@joostvm4350]

The kisses are really annoying and I also found it weird to congratulate everyone. Luckily Corona changed a lot of things, you can congratulate the birthday girl/boy and then wave at the rest. We try not to have a circle but still everybody gathers round and create a circle because usually it’s nice to see everyone again

[@NoName__..--]

Just wave at the rest and saying "jullie ook allemaal gefeliciteerd" is something I've done for at least 10 years now. I also hate and find it weird to congratulate everyone in person.

[@emmam3819]

And also "doei allemaal!" at the end! Did that before covid as well but still some of my aunts would run towards me and still want to kiss me.

[@poppetjes]

I have a contest with my brother: we try to confuse each other in the amount of kisses 😂

[@moshemordechaivanzuiden]

The 'congratulation' does NOT mean: you did it, you survived, well done. Rather, it means: we're so glad that we know you and that you are alive. Work and marriage celebrations are very similar. Also, 'round' years are especially noticed and celebrated: My 30th (even 35th) birthday. Women kiss everyone but guys-guys congrats go by firm handshakes.

[@AnagramGinger]

Men could also go for a one-second hug or by raising their hand.

[@minkes6691]

Nice pronounciation in your singing!!! Sounds very Dutch (Lang zal ze leven)!!!

[@sharonwillems2910]

I'm Dutch. I hate those three kisses with birthday parties. I often just shake everyone's hand in the circle 😂. But when I think about it, fewer and fewer people are doing the three kisses. Especially young people. Maybe corona has initiated a change? And it's so weird to me that you don't throw a party yourself when it's your birthday in the USA. Fun detail. Thanks for the great video Ava!

[@margreetanceaux3906]

Really the one and only bonus of covid: no more 3 kisses. I just tell people I’m truly glad to see them, missed them, wish them all the best - but no more kisses 🤐🤐🤐

[@penwithoutasword9459]

I started celebrating my birthday in an Amsterdam pub when I turned 25. I really enjoyed celebrating my birthday back then.

[@hildelouisevrijs774]

Ava, I'm 72 years old, but I don't recognize myself in your description of a birthday at all, thank goodness! I don't think it matters as much as you make it out to be. it really doesn't matter what you say and I've never congratulated anyone except the one who had a birthday.

[@jaila2806]

The most annoying thing is that you not only have to buy all the food and drinks, but you have to SERVE all your guests the entire time. Constantly asking if anyone wants another drink or serving the food and cake. When you are at birthday party you barely have time to even talk to the person who's celebrating their birthday. 😅

[@DutchAmericano]

Haha, that's true. You get to practise your hosting skills.

[@MeesdeFilmliefhebber]

@@DutchAmericano which is why I NEVER host my own birthday. Too much of an awkward bean 🙃

[@2Fast4Mellow]

Actually my in-laws copied the birthday circle. On several American birthday parties there are always a few people that don't really fit in. Often tagalong guests that are a bit shy or introvert. With a circle everybody can see each other, but you are also part of the celebration and can chime in the conversations. But the circle thing starts for most people in kindergarten on Monday morning when everything tells the class what they did over the weekend. Even as I'm already living in the US for over 12 years, from time to time I experience some new things that can be somewhat embarrassing. However my girlfriend and children know Dutch, so suddenly we start singing Dutch songs, especially the 'Hallo Allemaal - Luizemoeder' (kzbin.info/www/bejne/sJfVnot8ZrNjm9k) is very popular with my girls. Especially the oldest Madelyn when we start, she just can't stop singing the song and when she isn't saying the words, she keeps humming the melody. But I have to be carefully, because it can backfire. I once made the mistake to practice with Madelyn at home just before we left for a 2,5 hour drive to celebrate the birthday of my mother in-law. Guess what I heard all the way from Washington DC to pretty much Petersburg (south of Richmond)... While some celebrations in The Netherlands can be big, they can be very small. My sisters in-laws family talk to each other for about 15-30 minutes and than they turn-on the TV and they all silently watch the telly. After a few hours they get up and say thanks for the cozily party ;-)

[@2coixos]

A German friend always told everybody the story, that when he was on a Dutch birthday party he wanted to take a second piece of cake and the Dutch people there sad to him that he was very rude for trying to do that. So when me and a fiend visited him at a party at his families place in Germany that same story came up and they tried to force feed us 3 or 4 big pieces of cake.

[@MrAronymous]

Where I'm from it's common to offer another round of cake somewhere in the evening when everyone that's expected to come is or has been already there. I think it's fear of running out of cake (which are often more elaborate than a supermarket apple pie) when other people haven't had any yet. The thought of having no cake left for guests that might come later is absolutely horrifiying to a Dutch person. At a standard birthday party cake (or rather tart/pie) is a given. Of course you could always buy a lot more cake than necessary, but that's not the Dutch mindset of course. You buy around the amount of people you expect to come.

[@vogel2280]

The further south you go, the less this rule applies. In Brabant there (often) is a second offering which most people kindly decline. But if you go to Limburg and you 'd like a second piece you better eat fast because people just grab a second piece until nothing is left....oh and don't be late.

[@TheEvertw]

That is often the case when the host planned for each guest to have one and only one slice, so to take a second might mean someone else goes without. And it is ESSENTIAL that everybody gets a slice of the cake (or whatever takes its place)... Usually the host provides a variety of other foods to snack on, where such rules don't apply, but the cake is special. For instance, the cake is often served personally by the host, and the other foods are self-service. Also, the host will usually leave some cake in reserve for late arrivals to ensure they also enjoy a proper birthday party. The host will finish the cake the day after the party, when it has lost its status as "birthday cake". It has something to do with belonging to the circle of close friends & family of the one celebrating. When you are served that bit of cake, you are counted as belonging to that group. The host will apologize profusely if the cake has run out when someone arrives late to the party, and late arrivals who arrive after the proper time for cake, will still get that bit of cake. If there is a communal meal after the cake, for example, and someone arrives while that is going on, he/she will have cake before joining the meal, or at the least be asked if he/she would like that before joining the meal or after.

[@mischake]

So... gefeliciteerd, is, polite, but also short. Gefeliciteerd met jouw verjaardag is proper when adressing the birthday person themselves, and gefeliciteerd met (person) as you've mentioned is what you say to anyone that's friends or family of that person. The birthday song... we have several, and if you're in luck, one might end and another will begins. "Lang zal ze leven", "fijne verjaardag voor jou"(dutch version of happy birthday to you) and the ever so cheerful "twee violen en een trommel en een fluit" are just the basis of what you should at least be able to sing along with😄

[@MagdasMoestuinUtrecht]

You forget this one: Er is er één jarig Hoera hoera, dat kun je wel zien dat is hij/zij

[@okkiedekater]

luckily the three kisses are now often history because of covid

[@martianpudding9522]

I quite like that when it's your birthday you can have an entire cake of your favorite kind of cake (to share) because it's not super common to have cake at home the rest of the time. You may get a slice of cake at a cafe or something but a whole cake is pretty rare.

[@camillawilliams3954]

And also when you turn 100 you get a letter from the King!

[@Guytaryn]

And a visit from the mayor

[@eddys.3524]

I get a letter on behalf of the king every year... to pay my taxes 🤪

[@LordCucumber77]

None of the stuff you mentioned is actually mandatory. Yes you congratulate someone or tell them happy birthday, but if you're more comfortable shaking hands the kisses aren't necessarily. I'm Dutch and I generally don't kiss people I don't know well at parties. The birthday song is not necessary to sing along either, I usually just lipsync it 😂, because I want the local windows to survive the party 😂. The circle thing is true-ish. But that's more a social practical thing, everyone wants to see and speak to each other, and sitting in a circle means you get to do that.

[@MrBielok]

Hey! Happy belated birthday Eva!

[@tchjef6469]

Always good to hear from you. I´ve watched all your vlogs since you started. 😊Enjoyed them all!

[@ruudvisser712]

Wonderful insights, as usual! A nice detail (I think) about our Dutch birthdaysong 'Lang zal ze leven' is exactly that line: "Long may he/she live". I always liked that little hopeful wish in the song...

[@jackvandersluis1723]

Wow Ava, such a nice vlog, your Dutch is great! 👍

[@enricio]

Wonderful. 😁. You're just wonderful. ❤

[@leonbarens4815]

Hi Eva, Thanks for your videos on explaining the Dutch habits. As a Dutchman, I think you do a great job. To come back to the subject of Birthdays, I can explain only my own experiences. Both my parents come from large families, 12 children in my dads case and 13 children on my mothers side. The brothers and sisters of my dad came to 'celebrate' the birthdays of both my parents. That was always a great experience. I think the reason why we celebrate birthdays, as you say it, with completing another year comes from the fact that people died young at the turn of the last century. Child deaths was, unfortunately, not an unheard of thing in many large families. Hence, I suspect that this is the reason why we congratulate people with their birthday. To celebrate life! Keep up the good work! Leon

[@eddys.3524]

Hi Ava... thanks for the rather accurate description of Birthday habbits in the Netherlands. One thing disappointed me however, and that was that you didn't mention the result of your "Inburgerings examen", which you talked about in the previous video. I was hoping to be able to congratulate you on the result and sending you the 3 obligatory kisses digitally... So, if you passed the exam... concider them sent! ;)

[@DutchAmericano]

Ohhh, you're absolutely right about that! Well, I did pass! 😊 Thank you for asking.

[@NoName__..--]

@@DutchAmericano congratulations

[@Trimaran12]

Yes, congratulations! @Dutch Americano

[@BlueStarDragon]

Congratulations with passing your inburgeringsexamen. Your pronunciation sounds really dutch

[@Cherylgielow]

When I moved to NL, the three kisses confused me. It’s so different from the US, but I like the difference! I enjoy your commentary on life as an American expat! I have experienced some of the same things and am prepared for others!

[@CobisTaba]

I am purely Dutch but absolutely refuse the circle thing… it’s so absurd… but I know I am the odd one out ;)

[@MartijnHover]

So you go and sit in the kitchen? 🙂

[@CobisTaba]

@@MartijnHover haha, i just organize my birthday different. In my case we play boardganes together (my out of control hobby). Frufnds go to the pub together. I have done them where i deliberatly made several spots in the room to stabd around food and drinks, in snaller groups.

[@tomvdijk6405]

Hoi Ava. Je verhalen zijn altijd leuk om naar te luisteren. De laatste tijd zie ik minder uploads van je. Misschien eens hobby’s als onderwerp? Het verschil tussen USA en NL?

[@silentwilly2983]

The way you describe a birthday party as everyone being in a circle and singing sounds like a children's birthday party to me. I can't remember been at a party where people organized in a circle for decades. Singing does occasionally happen at adult birthday parties, but in my experience the default is no singing. At a children's party a circle is far more common, mainly for singing and some group games. Possibly also to accommodate the distribution of cake and lemonade. But to me the default seems to be chaos with children playing and running around. The Sara and Abraham are indeed a thing. I got threatened with that despite not celebrating my birthday for a long time now. Happily I got narrowly saved from that by Mark and Covid.

[@roybuis7646]

Also, if you turn 100 years old, you also get a letter from the King (or Queen).

[@josnuijten2761]

Thans Ava, this was too funny, i have tears in my eyes.

[@DutchAmericano]

😂

[@charlesvanderhoog7056]

I have a similar crazy thing as congratulating everyone for you. When I worked in Paris, each day I had to shake hands with every employee present before I could go to work. Others did this, too. You were shaking 10 to 15 hands each day before anything was done.

[@Lilrom2003]

Not only do you congratulate the various people, but if you don’t know their relationship to the birthday person, you first inquire about that to be able to congratulate them with the birthday of their cousin, uncle, grandchild etc.

[@problu9586]

Interesting coincidence, when I turned 50, took myself on a 3-week birthday celebration to Disney World, Florida. Thought I was the only person that thought turning 50 was a big deal. Nice to learn I am not alone in this.

[@VulcanOnWheels]

1:28 I do believe this varies between families. 12:40 Fortunately, I was spared this.

[@quatra1000]

Yeah, the three kisses. That's something that came up during the 90s, I think. I emigrated in 1980. My mother never participated in that but many other family members did. I always found it a bit awkward. It also requires coordination between the kisser and the kissee, sometimes resulting in comical situations. Parties? Not really. But you'll receive phone calls because you are on people's birthday calendar that's hanging in the toilet.

[@palantir135]

In the province of Limburg, there’s often vlaai in stead of cake.

[@rpfs2691]

The enthusiasm for the singing depends on how popular the birthday girl/boy/person is.

[@YouHaventSeenMeRight]

The three kisses thing is only for women, men don't kiss each other normally. The sitting in a circle seems to be a very Randstad type of thing. Where I live it is more typical that people sit at a (extended) table covered in snacks/chocolates/chips/etc or if it is very busy, we'll form smaller groups and just have conversations with each other. Also the congratulations to everyone also seems to be typical Randstad, I hadn't experienced it until I was at a friend's birthday party where he also invited colleagues from the Randstad area and they started this whole "congratulating everyone there" thing. As someone from North Brabant I was very confused about this as this is not customary where I live. His other non-Randstad friends were also very confused by this "congratulate everyone" thing, so I'm pretty sure it is not common in The Netherlands as a whole (as they come from Utrecht, Gelderland and Limburg). So I don't think this is a common Dutch practice, but more something Randstand or Holland related.

[@gordonwallin2368]

Hey, missed you. Cheers from the Pacific West Coast of Canada.

[@gordonwallin2368]

Bye the way, you've a great comedic delivery, it's like having a coffee at a close friend's home and meeting a friendly funny person, cheers.

[@Cheeseboiger]

Actually, there is no need for kisses, we also do hugs, handshakes, high-fives etc. The kisses are mostly done by adults, though. They you walk of the circle giving- most likely, handshakes saying “gefeliciteerd” and then sit down. If there come more people after you just give them a handshake while sitting down. If you yourself are the “jarige” you host a party at your own house, family and some friends come over. Most people are greeted at the door, then congratulate you then they give their gift and say hello to the rest. You host the party so you make sure there are snacks for everyone. If you’re a minor like me your parents/guardians do so. When you’re younger you also share food at school and have a “kinderfeestje” with your friends, when you’re a little older (around 12 - 14) you start just hanging out somewhere with your friends. Older, Idk because I’m still 13 lmao

[@charlesvanderhoog7056]

A friend of mine just celebrated his birthday by throwing a luxury lunch party of five courses in a sequestered area of a bistro for 12 friends. It was an all-male party to boot. These things are also a kind of reunion. The part lasted 5 hours and must have cost him a bundle. Perhaps the curious part was that the invitation mentioned that you did not have to bring any presents. That is impossible in The Netherlands, at least in those circles where you always bring a present, even on a social call like coming for coffee. So there was a table where he put the presents but it was out of sight and not mentioned once.

[@mischake]

Eva! You still exist😁😄

[@DutchAmericano]

Yesssss!!

[@mikepictor]

I am moving literally today (landing tomorrow), and my birthday is in December. I have been researching it a bit to make sure I "do it right" 😀

[@DutchAmericano]

Hahaha, and wow! Good luck with the move!

[@mikepictor]

@@DutchAmericano AND I'll be turning 50. I have some family there, but don't know a lot, but I figure I will need to bring in cupcakes to the office or something.

[@nfboogaard]

Are you moving to the US? With a last name like that it's rather cnfusing xD

[@MeesdeFilmliefhebber]

Be careful out there.

[@_maghetweten]

Wie jarig is trakteert. Meaning: you have to trow the party / give others a slice of cake. Makes sense since it's a family and friends ocassion to celebrate your birthday with others. Also: the birthday boy or girl wants to know how many people will come by. Makes it easy to do some grocery shopping. So one slice a person, 1 koekje bij de koffie / thee. However many Dutch in their 20/30 go their own way and avoid the sitting in a circle. I know plenty aunts and uncles who go away on holiday to have an excuse not to throw a party let alone create a circle for people to join whilst it's their birthday.

[@2zwaantjes]

Ik moet hier ZO VRESELIJK om lachen, tranen met tuiten (look it up). De 'circle of death'... daar heb ik zo vaak in gezeten, en ik haatte het... Nu woon ik sinds 25+ jaar in de VS en het heeft me heel wat moeite gekost om te wennen aan de Amerikaanse manier. En nu ben ik er helemaal aan gewend - dus geen poespas - en nu wil iedereen komen om me te feliciteren 🥴🥴🥴 NEEEEE!!!!

[@inge6280]

I never and have never given everyone the three kisses on these birthday gatherings. Some people sure, but the rest get a handshake or a handwave

[@kruimels]

We go in a circle, so everyone can get the snacks on the table. 😊

[@gertarkema9857]

Gefeliciteerd = geluk gewenst, means; all the luck for the year to come

[@rpfs2691]

"Gefeliciteerd /met/ /je/ /verjaardag/". Gefeliciteerd by itself isn't quite "happy birthday" you can say "gefeliciteerd" to someone who passed an exam, landed a nice job etc.

[@MrAronymous]

Gefeliciteerd by itself means congratulations. However, you can't "congratulate" someone with a birthday in the English language, something most Dutch people don't know.

[@dykam]

Just saying "gefeliciteerd" while shaking the person's hand is quite common.

[@JasperDamste]

I will turn 50 within 2 years and already dread the celebration so much, I very well might be on vacation somewhere abroad 🙂

[@rvelden1647]

It's your birthday, so you can do what you want. If you don't want to celebrate then don.t. And to avoid a surpriseparty you can go on holiday.

[@scriecumine913]

I love your channel. You are ADORABLE.

[@goudvismannetje]

I think that the three kisses depend on the family and age. (and now because of the coronavirus it also changed, but before it also was not on every Dutch birthday the same about the kiss or three kisses) Because when I was little it was normal to give your aunts kisses at a birthday, and other persons shake their hand, but after a certain age you not give kisses anymore you only shake hands to congratulate. But it depends also in which family, because at some birthday's it still is normal to shake hands to everyone, but at other birthday's you only shake the hands (and give kisses, but that depends on who's birthday it is) of the person who have his/her birthday to the other's you only waves your hand and says "Ook gefeliciteerd" (translation: "Congratulations too"). So it really depends on who's birthday you go and which age you are. The rest of what you say is almost every Dutch birthday the same yes, of course with maybe some small person differences, but yes in the big picture it looks all the same on a real Dutch birthday. 😉

[@myrtheengeman4787]

I'm really laughed a lot during the video today, but you forget 25 then you get a half Abraham of Sarah. At the country side (I don't know if its in bigger towns as well) you get a jar of mustard when turning 50, I think thats wierd 😂

[@hanspy2]

Don't buy cake for work. Buy gebakjes when you work with a small workforce . For a big workforce just buy a few kilo slagroomsoesjes. :) Everybody loves them and are handy to eat. Preorder them at your local bakery for a bit better price:))

[@toaojjc]

Birthday songs... in my kindergarden they had a rule that you could only pick 5....

[@Paul_C]

Yep, and I hate the circle with a passion, up to the point I not celebrate my or any of my families birthdays. A birthday for me is non existing, consequently I actually do not know how old I am, unless I calculate it... from the date I was born..

[@mz8194]

Most people don't have circle birthdays. They are annoying because you are stuck to the person you happen to sit next to. I know 1 person who does it and I just don't sit down. You just have to congratulate the person itself and the next of kin. With a grandmother, you don't have to congratulate a grandperson.

[@toaojjc]

You can say "fijne verjaardag" (happy birthday) to the birthday boy/girl in Dutch... it's just not that common.

[@eefaaf]

Not only relatives will create those Sarah/Abraham displays, but even the colleagues at work may do that. Decorate their office chairs, announce it with mug-shots of the 'victim' all over the place. I had the luck that I was (very temporary) out of a job at that critical time and avoided the embarrassment :). Mot having celebrated my birthday in ages, I did throw a BIG event about half a year later, though. Took that long to organize :). I always hated the obligation to shake EVERYBODIES hand and congratulate when arriving (and often leaving) a party when I was young. My mother had to really pressure me to do so, especially when I barely knew motst of the people (e.g. the relatives of a neighbour).

[@charlescorbee9498]

Bringing a treat to work, you can’t go wrong with a “Tompoes Or Limburgse Vlaai”

[@robertvaneersel3741]

Other local treats are: Bossche bollen and Zeeuwse bolussen.

[@H1SCOTTY]

We build 50 life size pigs and piglets for my father (we’ve had a little pig farm and for my mother fifty strawberry’s we’ve grown them when that stopped (she literally had the box in the strawberry fields and she was picking strawberry the week before my sister was born) she started at my uncle and when my nephew took over she stil worked there and she was called “pluk oma” (picking grandma as a sort of surrogate grandma). And of course the Abraham and Sarah dolls (luckily not the ugly inflatable dolls of six meters high). Also I didn’t hear about the banners with funny rhymes about the person (those you can also see with a wedding or twenty fifth anniversary and more and more when someone turns twenty five ore forty).. When a person turns hundred they also revive mail of the king if I’m not mistaking. (Just a printout nothing specific I believe). When a couple has their fiftieth anniversary it’s tradition in the neighborhood (buurtschap) there is a big fest with a soccer tournament or hexathlon. The street is decorated wit spar trees with paper flowers and a portal on the driveway decked with conifers and the golden fifty, because their wedding is turned “golden”. I was “jonker” (jonkheer?) with my nice at the fiftieth wedding anniversary of my grandparents something like the bridesmaids.

[@barbarawarner4645]

Except for the bday song, the whole thing is very low key. Yep. Hosted by the birthday person. A circle, one piece of cake with coffee or tea, then one or two cold drinks (beer, wine, cola) and savory treats. The entire shindig usually lasts less than 3 hours and could hardly be described as a “party”. It’s pretty ritualized in my experience. Not unpleasant but lacking zest.

[@emmam3819]

I think this is the best description I've read so far!!

[@bartlucassen9145]

In the south of the netherlands it is not that common to Kiss everybody, and we have high tables to stand at , and Seats for people who can’t stand a whole eventing.

[@vanpeethovenstudio]

The main difference is in the name. The dutch cellebrate the getting older ("verjaren"means getting older) of the person, while the rest of the world cellebrate the day of birth.

[@Guytaryn]

💐Ik ben zondag jarig jee🎂 in Nederland krijgen alle babies die 1 worden een moorkop met één kaarsje

[@nfboogaard]

🎉🎉🎉

[@emmam3819]

Alvast gefeliciteerd!

[@rpfs2691]

Billy bookshelves?

[@margreetanceaux3906]

At 50 there’s the (quite large - 40 centimeters…) gingerbread / speculaas Abraham or Sara. And of course Abraham snd Sara refer to this biblical very old couple.

[@piepkwiep4312]

Some people are allergic to sitting in a circle. I'm one of them.

[@MusicJunky3]

21 already ?!?

[@martinbruins6396]

dit is het moment ,dat ik me schaam om nl te zijn.. die verplichte liedjes.... verschrikkelijk.🤫

[@royklein9206]

on top of the special birthdays you mentioned we also kinda have half abraham or sara at 25 and at 65 (which was the pension age of old) it's also special. Over here in the eastern part of Holland we have a bigger party at 40 too but that is something originally from Germany.

[@martinvandenboorn]

well the netherlands althou a small country has major differances from place to place... where I live we DON'T kiss everybody... and we only congratulate direct family like parents... and about that birthday cake it's usualy a small cake but we have differant "vlaaien"... hahaha and singing... we only do that with small children... hahaha I've never had a birthdaycake at work... and I can't remember someone bringing one on his birthday... the bigger birthday's are 16, 18, 25 30, and then every 5 to 10 years depending on the person...

[@curacao11]

😀

[@Paul-iq6pw]

Dutch, but I guess I am more American than I thought. I do not wish everyone at the party a happy birthday, just the person who's birthday it is, their parents and siblings and that's as far as I am willing to go. It should be special for the one who's birthday it is to receive these wishes, and giving those to everyone takes that away. Another thing is that if asked what presents I would like on my birthday, I always ask and receive for the others to completely organize the birthday for me, so I can park my lazy behind on a chair and do almost nothing on my birthday. Yeah, I am weird ...

[@70ed81]

As for the typical "Dutch"Circle birthday celebration,....I think it's from back in the days,there are plenty of people here who are celebrating their birthday parties in a totally different way nowadays,....and I must say,they were Never my kind of style aswell....I'm not one of those "in a Circle" favorites at all......I'd say,give everyone a drink by entry,.....Show them where the Bar is,.....Have enough small snacks to serve around inbetween and some Good Music,.....For the rest, let them mingle at their own pace.🙂😉👍

[@MochaStoneheart]

i'd actually prefer to bring a cake tbh cause I don't like Cake, but if someone brings a cake specifically for you, your expected to eat it while as if I bring it I can be like "no I don't like cake y'all in enjoy"

[@r.a.h7682]

people that hate that circle have no good family, circles are great to have a conversation with everybody instead of having small groups where you dont talk to other small groups at all.

[@Pfooh]

Yeah right. As if people in the circle only speak one at a time. As soon as there's above 6 people, they will chat in groups of 2 or 3 as well, just like when they would walk around.

[@r.a.h7682]

@@Pfooh no you join a conversion much easier.

[@Pfooh]

@@r.a.h7682 no you don't. It's actually harder to join a conversation on the other side of the room, especially since usually all chairs are occupied. Walking around is a lot easier

[@r.a.h7682]

@@Pfooh how large is your family

[@Pfooh]

@@r.a.h7682 birthday parties are mostly friends. 20 people is a nice number for a party at home, above that could become crowded

[@yvonnebirch6026]

I am Dutch. Live in ca now. Never did the cake. We did a borrel. Drinks and appetizers. No singing, please !

[@robertvaneersel3741]

Turning 50 and then seeing Abraham comes from a biblical reference in John 8 verse 57: “You are not yet fifty years old, and You have seen Abraham?”

[@Nynke_K]

I'm never going back to the three kisses for people I don't know very well! And now that my first older friends are turning 50, the Abraham/Sarah tradition is starting to seem increasingly weird. 50-year-olds aren't old at all! I guess that was different in the past...

[@argenieuwenhuijzen2557]

When you're fifty you might also get an Abraham or Sara of 1 meter or larger made of (your 'favorite' ;-) ) raisin bread.

[@DutchAmericano]

Oh, gosh, nooooo! Don't give anyone any ideas! 😅

[@gert-janvanderlee5307]

I think you're mixing up a few traditions here. The one meter raisin bread (krentenwegge) is a completely different tradition. I think from the east part of the country. That's usually when there's a newborn baby.

[@argenieuwenhuijzen2557]

@@gert-janvanderlee5307 no, I’m not mixing up traditions. I’m from the south (Brabant) and the son of a baker. My father made quite a few Abraham-/Sara-dolls for fifty year olds.

[@gert-janvanderlee5307]

@@argenieuwenhuijzen2557 Ok but making them from raisinbread is unusual.

[@hjpool3159]

Well, as far as I know, it isn't raisin bread but ginger bread (speculaas).

[@Ipoop7colors]

I like the American version better. On my birthday I don't want a party and I hide my birthday at work and I hate the singing.

[@FrankHeuvelman]

Afterbirthday?

[@gijsvandenberg9140]

Eve. Eva. You are a lovely.

[@P0nyl0ve]

When my grandparents were married 60 years the mayor also was supposed to visit, but it didn't happen because covid:(

[@davidozz4068]

LOL😂🤣😂

[@Anonymous-sb9rr]

Forgot to mention that men never give other men 3 kisses. This may seem obvious, but you never know with cultural differences. I think men cheek kis each other in Italy.

[@vincenttayelrand]

Na meer dan vijftig jaar Nederlandse verjaardagen snap ik nog steeds niks van de ongeschreven regels.

[@TheEvertw]

That when you turn 50, you "have seen Abraham" is from the Bible. In John 8:56 it says: "Your father Abraham rejoiced that he would see my day. He saw it and was glad.” 57 So the Jews said to him, “You are not yet fifty years old, and have you seen Abraham?” From this text it is implied that when you turn 50, you do see Abraham. That is obviously a mis-interpretation, but it is a funny tradition anyway.

[@infrawiz]

in b4 'kringverjaardag' oh too late :D

[@josverberne8454]

I don't know where all that came from. Hate the three kisses and congratualating everybody. I believe it's just something that is invented in the western part of the Netherlands. Our party's in the south are not like that. Congratulating random people at a party is stupid. Let alone kissing them. Just don't do it. We gather, drink and mingle.

[@wisecat.]

My deepest apologies for being such a party pooper but everything you said in this video I hate. I hate dutch birthdays or any other including my own. I hate birthdaycakes, presents, songs. If people want to come over on my birthday, do not expect me to have a cake or anything. I just treat people as regular guests. They do say congrats but that's it. I don't need this constant reminder of turning a year older. I don't have banners and balloons. I don't visit birthdays as well unless i'm invited. But I usually don't bring a present and I certainly don't kiss. Still some people keep inviting me to their birthdays otherwise I would have just send them a text message with congrats and maybe an emoji like this 🥳. One positive thing, I will not ever forget a birthday.

[@Finnec123]

Wow, I would offend the whole population of The Netherlands if I moved there! [From DK]

[@mneoud]

Well, stay home i would say.

[@Finnec123]

@@mneoud That wasn't an intention, that was a regrettable fact. 🙂

[@HamiltonKC]

Your appearance looks like your from India

[@RogierYou]

I don’t recall birthday parties like this, but therefore I am from the Deep South 🤪

[@neilgurling8666]

I hate the Dutch cirlcle of death it's really intimidating and it gets really confusing as everyone talks across the circle, rather than the person next to you always someone opposite and in the end becomes white noise to me and impossible to translate

[@riconl2937]

Oooohhhh no, the famous dutch circle of death! One of the reasons that I don't celebrate my birthday.

[@DutchAmericano]

😅😂

[@Pfooh]

Don't provide chairs. Just don't. Bring them to a storage if you need to. There's a couch with place for 3, you can sit on the table if you want to, and otherwise, you can stand. Turn up the music, move a table to the side and put some drinks on it, and you've got a party.

[@legomattie3295]

Covid brought us dutchies 1 good thing: no more mandatory 3 kisses. I hate typical dutch birthday parties. So boring. Men sit with men talking about football. Women sitting with women talking about well women stuff like it is 1984. Such a modern country, but in this case we are just walking eeh sitting, talking stereotypes. And people wonder why i drink so much during "parties". Nope dutch birthdayparties are not making me proud for being dutch.

[@Guytaryn]

If you're having your birthday, what is it called in english? Hier ben je jarig, op je verjaardag, but on your birthday, Ava, what are you but a year older...🥮