The DUTCH BIRTHDAY = SHOCKING to foreigners! (confronting if you're Dutch)

Dutch language students and expats in the Netherlands share their observations about the Dutch birthday party (Nederlandse verjaardag)...
If you're Dutch... this may be confronting! Apparently we don't have the most exciting birthday parties... at least, according to these foreigners. What is your opinion? Write it in the comments!
If' you're watching this on the 22nd of October... then you can get the learndutch.org flashcard app for free (normally paid). Watch the video to find out how!
This video was recorded with students of the BLC Dutch Summer School
www.dutchsummerschool.nl
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Video made by:
Bart de Pau and Nicolás Bálbontin
Editing: Claudia Macchiavello
Music: Sunlight Audio
To know more about our:
- Dutch Summer School: dutchsummerschool.nl
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[@zhenzhang4271]

Gefeliciteerd!!! I was also a little bit shocked when the first time heard that you need to buy your own birthday cake on your own birthday.

[@LearndutchOrg]

Haha... yes, it's like that! Thank you!

[@NadaNadida]

Yes, sometimes they had to make it themselves!

[@cheshirecatgrin7680]

My Dutch Husband will ask me to make a dessert for him to take to work to share with his colleagues on his birthday. He prefers homemade to store bought and I love to bake.

[@zhenzhang4271]

Lucky husband :) !!

[@zhenzhang4271]

I once attended a Dutch birthday, and the cake was with the birthday woman's face on it..hahaha

[@rachelle10]

The circle is not on purpose. It's just that the first people start sitting on the couch, and when there's no room left on the couch, you grab a chair, and you're not gonna sit with your back to anyone, so everyone ends up in a circle. Now I'm curious how other people would celebrate birthdays.

[@carved_cuts]

YES! Finally someone gets it 😂

[@arev]

Maybe with 'staantafels'

[@ianoort7247]

@@arev that most for outside but yea some people put it inside but still its almost the same as a circls but then smaller and already a circle

[@sonjakramer282]

Samee!

[@keptins]

Around the table maybe? Hahaha seriously there is no excuse for this weird circle.

[@MrF4R]

The kind of birthday party described in the video is a birthday party which you would throw for your family. If you throw one for your friends (as a teenager/young adult), it can look more like a house party.

[@connordegan9763]

Ja dan komt de alcohol te voorschijn

[@getyourmetalon9687]

@@connordegan9763 WHAHAHAHAHA ZO WAAR

[@ErwinRoossien]

Confirmed 😁🙌

[@samw2310]

MrF4R true, but with my family there is also a lot of food and music and we do not sit in a circle cuz there are to many people for that

[@xitsmeblue]

MrF4R As adult I would probably get wasted on every party with my friends

[@iclaimthisname9767]

We, Dutch people, are very straight forward with gifts. We say exactly what we want for our birthday; and we usually ask for something that we need (for example a pan, money, a watch etc) sometimes we even say the exact type of item we want and where they can buy it. I think it is a very practical system, since everyone gets what they actually want and need. No one is let down by the gifts they get, because they get exactly what they asked for.

[@ambervanderhooft]

I prefer getting no gift over getting a useless gift you never wanted. I am thankfull for the gift, but some things are absolutely useless and I will feel quilty if I throw them away. I am glad people always ask, so I can ask for things I will actually use. And good for them, they do not have to spend money on things I don't like😅😂

[@onbekend1642]

ik ben het hier met je mee eens, maar als iemand (zoals in de video gezegd werd) zegt "dit heb ik al, kan ik het nog ruilen?" beschouw ik dat ook als onbeschoft. ik ken persoonlijk ook niemand die dit ooit heeft gedaan. maar goed uiteindelijk heeft iedereen andere belevenissen.

[@ambervanderhooft]

@@onbekend1642 dat is ook onbeschoft... zou ik ook niet zo snel zeggen.

[@Marpurrsa]

@@onbekend1642 persoonlijk vind ik dat niet netjes ook, maar het hergiften vind ik nog slechter. like je gebruikt een cadeau die je hebt gekregen als een cadeau voor iemand anders, dan heb ik liever dat iemand vraagt of ie een cadeau mag ruilen tbh

[@kaylsx3999]

Jungkooooookaaahhh

[@Niels0806]

Introvert 101: Just congratulate the birthday boy/girl first and their family Then just wave your hand and say "Gefeliciteerd allemaal!" Trust me It works You'll get your piece of pie sooner You'll love it

[@marcobarros4742]

Ik woon al 7 jaar in Nederland en ik wist niet dat dit kon.

[@fenneric8292]

Dit zijn de echte life hacks!

[@katoentje111]

Nou in Friesland is dat niet het geval als ik dat doe op een verjaardagsfeestje dan krijg ik een paar beste klappen

[@vuilkreng]

Wauw dat ik daar nog niet eerder aan heb gedacht

[@miles6766]

hahaha ja en als je weg moet gewoon “netjes gedag” zeggen (wel vooral leuk als je kind of puber bent(

[@ardvandis115]

Wow, very impressed by the pronounciation of "lang zal ze leven"!!

[@8bitbunny_VR]

die hebben dat zeer zeker vaker meegemaakt :p

[@femarily9493]

Ja, je een beetje aanstellen om te laten zien dat je Nederlands spreekt vond ik dat.

[@frankrault3190]

Heel goed uitgesproken! En gezongen! Super!

[@atesailesi]

dont forget kaas met vlaggetje:)

[@marliesvdlangemheen]

@PlayMoreZeppelin Hahaha! Ik ken dus mensen die het daadwerkelijk lekker vinden. Ik lust heel veel, maar vind dat echt niet te haggen.

[@kehbab]

@PlayMoreZeppelin swel lekker man, hoe heter hoe beter

[@kehbab]

@PlayMoreZeppelin wel liever warme gehaktballetjes in cocktailsaus tho

[@Guarroguapo18]

Word er nog getrakteerd op de lagere school, c.q. onderbouw? Volgens mij is dat ook weggevaagd....

[@Guarroguapo18]

@PlayMoreZeppelin Hahaha, nee, pepsils en zoute stengels zijn een goed alternatief, hahaha

[@Speculaas]

Ik dacht dat het zo'n beetje wereldwijd verjaardagen zo werden gevierd. Zo te horen hebben wij toch wel _Nederlandse cultuur_

[@wouterberings6535]

Lol in België is dit ook hoor

[@BC-so5ub]

Zijn Nederlandse verjaardagen echt zo veel anders... Blijkbaar wel

[@DiscoDevil197]

@@wouterberings6535 belgie is gewoon bootleg nederland

[@koekelakouwnt7949]

Zo is cultuur

[@nickgames1892]

@@DiscoDevil197 belgie is de china van nederland

[@Rimpelmans]

The circle + the congratulating everybody thing makes I always arrive early. I hate it and when you are early the cicle is still small.

[@moladiver6817]

I just plainly refused from when I was about 9 years old. Simply reject that nonsense and focus on the one who's birthday it actually is. And just greet everyone else as you please. And yeah those circles.. Yikes..

[@benjaminv02]

Just say iedereen gefeliciteerd

[@elisabethturner]

Actually I always arrive late so I just skip the kissing and say, hello everyone. Lmao- best option to deal with Dutch birthdays.

[@davidderuiter726]

I always say thank you but it is not my birthday and when i come at a birthday i congratulate the person and their parents because since i lost my mom (more than 10 years before my grandfather) i understand the reality of being blessed to not see your kid die. But when i just come to a birthday from my nephews or what i just say thanks but it is not my birthday.

[@ianoort7247]

@@davidderuiter726 i normally say "jij ook" people dont get it but it is like the same a your favourite team winning and saying "we won" you never did anything to help them but still poeple so "we" so this is like being happy for some one that there son or brother or what ever is still alive and in good health

[@FemkeFemke]

I live in the UK at the moment and whenever it’s someone’s birthday, i congratulate everyone and people just stare at me hahaha. And when it was my birthday i was very confused when people told me I couldn’t open my presents yet. Also the fact that people didn’t give me what I asked for confused me hahaha. Whoops!

[@whatisthis6590]

"influenced by American birthdays" what? They may be similar but if anything American birthdays were 'influenced'. Not everything started in the US.

[@marvelgamerz892]

These folks dont know their history on how the US came to be and al the stuff before that so just ignore their ignorance man, cheers

[@vessema]

Technically New York was New Amsterdam in circa 1600 so technically she is right in New York

[@gabrielbrouwer]

Dutch Chuck nope that means the Dutch influenced them.

[@gabrielbrouwer]

Gijs Schoonaard exactly

[@Illmatic1994]

Was looking for this.

[@cat5636]

In Flanders it similar but i was confused when it was my (dutch) boyfriends birthday that the guest came to congratulate every member of the family. Like oh yeah thanks yeah we do our best to keep him alive 😅

[@FireworksFun]

Cant Imagine that its strange to congratulate people that love the birthday boy. Its like saying 'congratulations that you had another wonderfull year with this great Guy in youre life.'

[@Kuroshiro575]

I’m Dutch but I don’t understand the whole congratulating everyone and not just the birthday guy or girl. I never go around the circle, to akward

[@ronansilverknight8218]

@@Kuroshiro575 Its not awkward if you arent insecure.

[@edofluit6568]

@@ronansilverknight8218 lmfao, by saying that i bet you are insecure ;)

[@ronansilverknight8218]

@@edofluit6568 lol idc what you think

[@FireworksFun]

The circel actualy is not a cirkel because we want it to be. Most houses there is a lack of space in the living room to put all the people. And you are not going to sit with youre back to all the people. So you automaticly get a cirkel when the room is full. How else would you sit?

[@boterham6474]

Fireworks & Fun i guess there will be certain groups of people in different places in the living room. not sure, i’m dutch too.

[@FireworksFun]

@@boterham6474 it's possible yes true.

[@Sanquinity]

@@boterham6474 The circle is probably also a way of not excluding anyone. We don't tend to form groups during birthdays. Everyone is equal. So we form a circle where everyone can see everyone. Though at the birthdays I've been to people who are in a longer conversation do tend to sit together to make it easier to converse. I personally just like throwing a barbecue though. My birthday is in the middle of the summer so yea, always a good choice. Invite a bunch of friends, bring out the barbecue, meat and booze, maybe some nice background music, and have a "gezellige" evening together.

[@HermanWillems]

@@Sanquinity As a dutch, indeed i hate excluding people.

[@xirisx1988]

This explaines a family birthday. Birthdays for friends is a lot more fun. We play (card)games, order dinner, staying till late in the evening, have lot's of snacks.

[@SYR1ON_Music]

card drinking games :D

[@anne_abrams]

xirisx1988 card games? Nahh

[@edofluit6568]

@@anne_abrams lmfao, its a card drinking game. how can you not like that? do you even know what that is? or do you just sit home alone?

[@edofluit6568]

​@@anne_abrams ?????????? dus jij vind iedereen die wat drinkt een domme hoer? en iedereen zijn smaakt verschilt. zo iemand als jij heb ik al een lange tijd niet mee gemaakt.

[@anne_abrams]

Edo Fluit jou wel ja. Jij noemt mij eenzaam? Nou alsjeblieft... ik ben 14 btw, ik snap niet dat er mensen zijn zoals jij🤠

[@NadaNadida]

Once I witness they gave shoehorn as a birthday present and the birthday person had asked it before. They would ask something they need, not just what they want. I personally like the culture, very straight forward, simple. Don't you think it would be much easier to just live like the Dutch?

[@FireworksFun]

Many people do ask 4-5 things they can choose as a present. So there is a little suprise element😂

[@HermanWillems]

At least that guy knows what to ask. If you already have everything, and don't like mess around the house and stuff you don't need. I rather not have any gifts at all. I rather just enjoy the company of friends and family. I also find it very difficult to give someone a present... most people already have EVERYTHING.

[@DiaborMagics]

I'm Dutch and I hate, hate, hate the traditional birthdays. They often quickly devolve into awkward staring contests because no one has any real interesting stuff to say, most people in the circle are fossilized artifacts of the past who like to do nothing more than bore you to death and indeed, too often, there isn't even any music. It's always much better if there's dinner involved. A barbeque, a buffet, something, anything at all! And if I know the host or hostess well enough I'll gladly get up and help them with cake, snacks and drinks, just so I can break away from the Circle of Boring Death and walk around and do something. Also, having to congratulate everyone in the room upon arrival one by one and then saying goodbye to everyone one by one when I leave has always been the biggest nonenese ever to me. I didn't come here for all those other people and even if I did, why the heck can't I just say "Gefeliciteerd allemaal!" (congrats to all!) and be done with it? Luckily my aunt makes some killer pie and amazing curry, spaghetti and what not. Going there isn't so bad XD

[@StudioMargalima]

I so agree with you, feel the same way too. It mostly first comes down to awkard silences AND/OR someone or someones is/are at a certain point going all "Popie Jopie" (For the non-Dutch: extravert, bit obnoxious alpha behaviour), culminating in lame jokes, lame remarks and stupid subjects, wich almost enforces the rest of the circle to react to and even join in. And if you're unlucky, your own remarks will always be dissed, in front of the rest of the circle, altough layered with some sort of humour. Pointless. That's why is it a far better idea to engage in activity together, but to keep it Hollands gezellig, it certainly helps if it involves food and sit with eachother, still, but NOT in that infamous circle setting. For instance in a restaurant would be fine. Wich directly erradicates most of that mandatory circle feel...But...The point is, if you invite people for your birhday celebration in Holland, then the expectation is that you pay for everyone..And that is, in return, costs too much money for most of the 'greedy' Dutch......... Even if buying snacks & beverages for an average Dutch home birthday isn't also cheap..

[@Maatjuhhh]

I'm a Dutchie too and I was very annoyed by the circle party from an early age. So whenever I host a party I make sure that the people doesn't automatically sit in a circle. Everyone has to stand or there are two chairs by each other and two other chairs on the other side of the room and if so, they are aside the table which has snacks or drinks. So people has to come or go for that. I also host a little campfire outside. So this would make my room more lively because everyone constantly switches around every 15 minutes.

[@SIG442]

The whole circle thing is actually based up on including everyone and allowing everyone to feel equal. Everyone should feel more at ease to talk to whoever they wish or about whatever they wish. It takes away walls that you may otherwise have. The kissing thing is actually based up on Napoleonic France, all of the (greeting) kissing in Dutch culture comes from that actually. The Dutch parties do vary, you do have parties that have music and are actually rather different from what is described in the video. The food isn't there to fill you, it's to snack up on. Also a French thing again which includes the croquette for example. Gifts are indeed opened right away, this is a Dutch way of showing respect towards the person giving the gift and sharing the experience of opening and the reaction with everyone. It's a social experience for the Dutch. For a duplicate item, well it is true that the Dutch are rather direct. Which is not meant as insult in any way. It is more about being honest and realistic. That last one is typical Dutch, not American. It's actually a very old concept which is also why it uses rather outdated words. I personally have not done anything with my birthday at all for at least 10 years, just can't be bothered with the pointless preparations if it only turns out you stay alone or end up with more to clean then you started with. Last gift I received was in my early teens, that is even further in the past.

[@mz8194]

Gelukkig zijn er veel nederlanders die het niet in een cirkel vieren.

[@cheshirecatgrin7680]

I'm a Canadian married to a Dutchman and we live in Zuid-Holland...the circle party with drinks and snacks/cake is absolutely the way my inlaws celebrate. For close friends or family, one person will collect money (whatever you want to contribute) towards a larger gift. There's usually some background music and sometimes a board game later on. It's relaxed and easy. I find congratulating everyone a bit odd and I'm a handshaker or hugger not a kisser.

[@iclaimthisname9767]

Cheshirecat Grin I'm Dutch and I find the thing where you congratulate everyone weird, too 😅 the kisses are also very awkward, especially if I don't know that family member that well.

[@MikMok]

I'm Dutch too like everyone in the comment section, but the thing about birthday party's that really bothers me is the 3 times kissing. Why can't we just kiss ones? Or at most twice? I just don't get it

[@ambervanderhooft]

I am glad my family is done with the circle birthdays. With my fathers birthday last year, we first made some nice meals together. In the evening we showed our parents etc. What our drinking games were like (so we played kingsen, bussen and other card games) and the they liked it a lot. Till they all woke up with a hangover next morning😂😂😂

[@ianoort7247]

@@MikMok its a traditie. You can also say why do we party when somebody is a year older that meand he is 1 year closer to death or why do we have chrismas. Its traditie so deal with.

[@MikMok]

@@ianoort7247 But traditions can be changed, right? The way we celebrate our birthdays this day is probably way different then we did 100 years ago. So that's not really a good argument for something like this

[@BeauVerwijlen]

Leuk om te kijken als Nederlander!

[@Frida_Suarez]

🤦🏼‍♀️

[@youtubefan9520]

Sws

[@victoria-qk5mq]

Beau! Ja echt he

[@ghoulss9570]

Yupp

[@jensmartijn8632]

Frida Suarez ik voel je cringe

[@AllissaBr]

Wij zijn veel te nuchter om het anders te vieren dan dit 😂 geef je nuttige cadeaus en ga dan maar weer weg. Doei.

[@annivlaflipfan9184]

👍😂😂😂

[@pannenkoekspek]

As a native Dutch i never understood the circle type of birthdays... not as a kid..and not as an adult. The expats are right about that one.

[@Frida_Suarez]

All those fucking kisses! En niet alleen op verjaardagen. 😖 kills me, every time.

[@luukok9743]

Wil je soms met je rug naar anderen toe zitten? Of zijwaards zodst je naast je moet kijken om te praten

[@Max-cb2ro]

Also congratulating e v e r y o n e in the room? What the hell is that about

[@ronrolfsen3977]

@@Frida_Suarez Then don't?

[@southeparkfreak]

@@luukok9743 Wat dacht je van gewoon een feestje? Hoe denk je dat die expats het doen?😂

[@guylianwashier4583]

It isn't weird to give someone a trash can on his birthday. You knew the person was moving, and he probably needed a trashcan for his /her new house. So instead of buying one, you just ask it for your birthday. This way you save money on buying a new trashcan :D.

[@specialunderwear]

Yes it is very very weird

[@kimservaas8858]

That's only with family. With friends we don't sit in a circle and just talk and eat.

[@akk8529]

Gefeliciteerd met uw verjaardag! Gezondheid en geluk! Dank U wel!

[@deblijvertjes1568]

Leuk om te zien. En ik heb ook weer veel geleerd over hoe je een aantrekkelijke video maakt! Nog gefeliciteerd !

[@nadinevandewater348]

I love our Dutch tradition on celberating birhtdays> I think it is polite and we are used to it that when you come in you congratulate others with the birthday of the party animal. It is also a way to introduce yourself to people you don't know, it makes making contact easier. You talk to anyone you want, and swop places. It is very polite to open presents directly, people put effort in it buying it, so you open it and after that you thank them with kisses of course. There can be music and dancing if you want to.

[@CitizenofTatooine]

nog vele jaren in goede gezondheid, meneer de Pau!

[@lithiumvids9448]

Yeah first it's like almost no food but around 7 we the eat krokketen frikandellen and bitterballen.

[@susievanpoppel5410]

Gefeliciteerd met uw verjaardag meneer de Pau!..Have a wonderful day..Dankjewel voor de gratis app...

[@samivanrijn8517]

Its almost insulting how people find our traditions odd, i mean i don't find other traditions odd why are the dutch, my people of all sorts so weird then 😂😂

[@theon9575]

Envy. These people come from places like the US and UK where family life has fallen apart. The whole idea of our families different generations "lekker gezellig samen zitten op een familie verjaardagsfeestje" even in a circle and just enjoying eachother's company is foreign to them.

[@samivanrijn8517]

@@theon9575 i made a joke dun take it as an insult. I have friends from around the world who react just like this. So i know all too good how it is for them

[@jenster29]

@@theon9575 ha you need to get out more. Families in the Netherlands are not very close compared to other cultures... Not by a long shot. Having regular contact and interactions with even extended family in the UK, for example, is very common. Not so with the Dutch... I've lived here 17 years and I see a huge disconnect in families compared to my own country, Ireland. Its forced here. People have to make appointments to go see your mother ffs. 😂😂.

[@kspdfl]

Gefeliciteerd met uw verjaardag meneer de Pau! 🎉😁

[@LearndutchOrg]

Dank je!

[@trappy3902]

Little did they know american birthday party's came from the Dutch

[@victoria-qk5mq]

Well not every Dutch birthday is like that

[@mrwizzardknight]

Happy birthday Bart mate sir! 😃😃😃😃👏👏👏🎉🎉🎉 I Hope you’re having an excellent birthday! 😃😃😃😃🎉🎉🎉🎉 You totally awesome lovely Dutch people keep making me wanna watch a film in Dutch, with Dutch subtitles on top with the English translation at the bottom! 😃😃😃😃 And ya also making me wanna meet one of you totally lovely awesome people in person! 😃😃😃

[@kiyaleelevyrunaya9495]

It's the same in Belgium. And the worst part is that you have to throw (and fund) your own party. If you work or go to school, it's expected that you bring sweets or cake or pie to treat everyone. Basically, celebrating your birthday here means everyone gets treated except you, the birthday boy/girl. Which is bs, if you ask me. But it also happens a lot that people go to clubs or raves or themeparks etc for their birthday, inviting friends. But again, it's still expected that the birthday boy/girl pays for everything. So it's pretty expensive to grow older over here xD

[@falconNL]

Just want to mention that Katie 's voice is really nice, and she looks to speak dutch really good! Great job Katie!

[@pamiparker5427]

Congratulations on your birthday today, Bart!

[@ritarodrigues6224]

Gefeliciteerd met jouw verjaardag!!!

[@LearndutchOrg]

Dank je!

[@Matty-yq5sx]

Gefeliciteerd Bart! En nog één keer, hoi docent Parya 😃

[@kpendill5918]

Gefeliciteerd Bart! Dank je!

[@somethingstuffguy4159]

1:30 i have never really seen this happen here not with my family not with friends not with friends of family

[@Felipe.N.Martins]

Feliz aniversário, Bart!! What an appropriate video for the day. ;-)

[@anoukvzanten]

My family usually sits together in the living room, with drinks and lots of food on the table. The moment a new person walks into the room, that person is to greet everyone and say happy birthday with your mom/dad whoever, to every person. We don't always give gifts, but cards and greeting are very common. Also when I was a kid, I got to choose my own birthday cake, when you get older you will have to buy the cake yourself

[@zahimiceciliacervantespadi2205]

yo if u eveg going to a dutch birthday party or party (mainly if hosted by a dutch person) in general eat before u leave the house

[@TheRedCurly]

Gefeliciteerd Bart! And dankuwel!

[@LearndutchOrg]

Dank je!

[@ArtSMRdianne]

I'm Dutch. You all described all the parties I had in my entire life 😹 Except the food. When my family has something to celebrate, we can feed a whole orphanage with the leftovers. Who's party is that too? 🤚🏻

[@lydias2832]

Here’s a big explanation if you have further interested in Dutch bdays. 😜 Birthdays for family and friends are celebrated differently. I know a lot of Dutch people (including me) who even mix it up on the same day. During the day your family and closest friends come. They just have some snacks, a piece of cake, some drinks and talk to each other. Because of this, my friends and family know each other and talk to each other. I like how personal it is. Usually everyone congratulates each other personally (with three kisses or a handshake) by entrance or just the bday person and main family members and maybe a general ‘congratulations everyone’ if there’s too much people. The guests choose the time to give your present (some friends wait for more people to come) and at that moment it’s normal to open it and show your appreciation. And it’s true that it’s usually something you asked for or they already know what you want to have. But it can also still be a surprise, because not everyone knows what they want for their bday and like to be surprised. Normally we end up in a circle to face everyone, but we can also have separate tables to stand around. Then we make a huge batch of pasta with salad (or any other easily prepared food) for whoever decides to stay for dinner (which is usually a lot of people). Sometimes we ask before who wants to stay for dinner, so we know how much to make. Family leaves during the end of the day or after dinner and other friends come during dinner time or after. Then we turn up the music, make space to chill and dance and get drunk. After that we all usually go to a bar or club to celebrate further. 🎉

[@a.k.1217]

It’s interesting! Thanks for detailed explanation. Who usually gets invited, if I may ask? Is it close friends or acquaintances?

[@hanapackard-haas5374]

Happy birthday, Bart. Hoe oud ben jij? I leer Nederlands aan jauw website en het is heel interessant en goed. Dank je for the application, it is already downloaded on my phone. Keep up the wonderful job!

[@1buki538]

Jouw*

[@zynifi]

@@1buki538 ze leert nog nederlands dus tuurlijk heeft ze spelfouten

[@theshoesinjiminshandsinmvo2367]

@@zynifi daarom verbeterd hij het ook, zodat ze weet hoe je t wel schrijft

[@DrCatdeJong]

Leuk dat je Nederlands aan het leren bent. Veel succes, je schrijft al best goed.

[@7Lee7]

I think the circle is mostly a rural thing. The part from my family from the country did that (and I hated it), the part in Amsterdam didn't. I like getting a big gift together, I hate buying/receiving a gift that's instructed up front. It's a gesture and a matter of empathizing.

[@quinten8234]

As a Dutchman this is quite entertaining to watch

[@filippovezzoli8406]

Guys but if you try and speak with rolling r, do you employ it even when it's at the end of words like "LATER", too?

[@umasharma4575]

Ab.. Thanks for sharing the birthday Song 🥰

[@jenniferh1416]

The cake is divided by all who arrive in your home for coffee and tea be it 10, 25, etc.pieces until it's all served. Don't expect a second piece. In school you provide the birthday snacks to your friends which is called tracteren (auto correct might mess this up).

[@Devilmousy]

"I already have that, can I return that? In the US we would never say something like that". And you guys still have Boxing Day where you literally return the presents that you don't like... We call it "Tweede Kerstdag" where you go to your other family to celebrate Christmas that you couldn't see the first day.

[@angeliquea.9034]

We don't ALWAYS sit in a circle at a birthday party and the food also depends from person to person.

[@queen_of_neptune7309]

1:30 perfect example of the directness of us Dutch people. If we have an opinion, we'll tell you right in your face. No hesitation.

[@teresaguerra7532]

Yes, I'm Mexican when I was in the Netherlands, I told my Dutch friend, she had a horribly congested chest from smoking and she got furious, she said it was from the weather. The Dutch always raise their voice about the environmental preservation of trees for clean air and they smoke like there is no tomorrow, socializing includes drinking and smoking. They are direct but do not like it when somebody else is direct with them. Directness starts in your own personal life.

[@susanakienigiel1729]

Gefeliciteerd met uw verjaardag !!!! But where is the app ?? Ik kan het niet vinden....

[@LearndutchOrg]

Thank you. Please, click the link in the upper right corner, that appears if you watch the video (not scroll) Or else, try: www.learndutch.org/learndutch-app/

[@TheSaintArmando]

So for you guys it is weird to sit around a table, eating and talking with family.. Realy? Is this So weird?

[@RebootedGaming]

As many have said, what's described in the video is a "family" type birthday, where all kinds of family members are present. Yes, you do end up in a circle, and generally people move seats during the party itself to talk to other people. This is so everyone has a chance to talk to everyone else, nobody feels excluded, and you can easily get up to go to the toilet/get a drink/get some snacks etc. People say "gefeliciteerd" generally to the people that are close to the birthday person (as well as to the birthday person obviously). It implies for instance "congratulations with your daughter" or "congratulations with your brother" etc. I don't know why it came to be this way but it's normal to congratulate people in the life of the birthday person as well. Possibly to make everyone a part of the celebration. The snacks are not there to fill you up (though at my grandpa's birthday party, who's partly Indonesian, we generally have a ton of food at dinner), they're there for well... snacking in between. Most birthday parties for family are during the day so there's no real need to get an entire restaurant worth of food in :P Though as said it can differ, if the party is later you can actually have some pretty good food at such parties as well

[@Nexils]

It's so nice to hear the other birthday traditions from the other countries. And my non-Dutch colleagues despise the circle, it's pretty funny. I personally am not a fan of it either. So... I moved the circle to a table instead XD what a difference. Playing some games, eating some snacks. It's just about the 'gezelligheid', really. No crazy activities or dinner plans... Just you, some friends, some little games. Just whatever you and your friends might like in general.

[@StefanVeenstra]

Dutch people reserve the big parties usually for special occasions. Like for the 18th, 25th, 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th or 80th birthday. Or to celebrate receiving your degree from school. Or for marriage or newborn. Often through primary school the kids get a bigger celebration with classmates and friends.

[@hemdanahmed2915]

Gefeliciteerd!!

[@kattimate]

As a halfy of half Dutch half Aussie and whatever is in-between, as a kid it was more time playing games and eating food with friends. As i grew older such as 15+ it was more of a circle along with my aunts and uncles, grandparents and parents birthdays too. A circle does not have an ending or a start so everybody is included, if more people arrive than expected, the circle expands. I was bought up it's rude to have your backs turned when someone aught to be joining in unless they well, go to another room to be alone, so a circle is inclusive and everyone is treated equally. Food is spread out, sometimes music is quiet in the background and sometimes not, and everyone gets whatever drink they want... unless they're too young, it's just fun and chill. I been to birthdays where folks were very exclusive and avoidant, so I'm quite happy with the b-days i got, it tells a story of treating folks well. Though not to stereotype, every family and every member of a family celebrate differently, however similar or different it is. Just a reminder for folks not to stereotype 'every' dutch person the same way, because people are different.

[@BoltonBolt]

Where is the link to the free app that you talked about in the email? Anyways, Happy Birthday Bart de Pau!!

[@LearndutchOrg]

It pops up in the video

[@LearndutchOrg]

in the right top corner

[@BoltonBolt]

Oh, dankuwel!

[@mirawenya]

The congratulations for EVERYONE was what confused me. Sitting in a circle I’m used to from Norway. It’s gezellig.

[@reallyjustme]

At our house, we have two kinds of parties. The circle one for the older family members with birthday cake, coffee and later on snacks and drinks. Then we celebrate for friends and younger relatives. All furniture will be shoved into a corner, people can stand or sit, doors will be open and a tent is set up in the garden (in winter with a heater). Lots of food and drinks, music and it will go on till early in the morning. Not boring at all. Even the circle birthdays aren't really boring. And our house isn't big enough for all our guests at once.oh, amd the kissing thing I really hate, I only hug or kiss if I haven't seen that person for a long time.

[@JaeRiottt]

I'm Dutch and it's very true, we sit in a circle and talk. But I usually put on music! Hahaha

[@Bb0909sh7]

its crazy, i’ve lived in the netherlands all my life and never experienced a birthday where everyone sits in a circle, we usually just sit at the table or in the kitchen with snacks and music..

[@lazyyyp]

i dont sit in a circle?? i litetally just get a cake, some presents and then it just ends lmao we don’t say “oh no i already have this can i return it” why would you do that??

[@dutchdykefinger]

pro tip: if you stay around until like 17:00-18:00, chances are they'll get some chinese or fire up the frying pan for everyone still around if the cheese and leverworst aren't doing it for you also, that was a very nicely sung "lang zal ze leven".

[@Gryudootje]

I can't really find myself in the situation given. I open the gift in front of the people giving it, because they want to see your reaction. If the gift is less desired I would never return it or regift it, for someone else's birthday or something. The circle thing is only during the day, when family comes by. In the evening we usually clear a space with high tables. It is not usual for Dutch people to expect a real meal, so that is usually not done. But it's not all cheese and olives, usually we have baguettes with all kinds of spreads and in the evening we put on the deepfryer for all kinds of snacks.

[@zahimiceciliacervantespadi2205]

i started singing along to "lang zal ze leven"

[@arposkraft3616]

You know what is a far more dutch thing then our birthdays...so much so that even foreigners pick it up... its leaving the last cookie... noone ever takes the last cookie , it's such an incredible phenomenon , youll see the plate go empty in 5 minutes flat but soon as it reaches that last cookie its done

[@Fengtos]

As a Dutch I don't get the circle thing either. I have never done it at my parties and I also hate it. It's awkward and weird.

[@SjoerdSoundz]

Those girls on the end actually sing it quiet nicely :) Greetings, a dutch dude.

[@rachelx963]

What birthday parties did they go to? I have never been to a birthday described here😂

[@helderboymh]

I'll admit that we are horrible at (adult) birthday parties. They are not bad but it's just more like a get together. It's nothing like super special (for the person whose birthday it is) Just practical that there is like a get together every once in awhile where you see all the people again (family etc)

[@mikek2001]

We also sit in a cirkel but we don't only get cheese and stuff but also music and bapao and stuff

[@superbiobabe]

I married into a dutch family! YES! They sit in a circle!! For like EVERYTHING LOL Showers, Christmas, birthdays . And the collective gift. And the cheese and olive! OMG ! I loved this video

[@mellchiril]

I usually don't go around and congratulate everyone in the circle... usually just the birthday person and their direct family, then I just shout 'congratulations!' to the rest of the people in the room before sitting down.

[@ikbengiso8503]

In Dutch birthday occasion its not always the actual day u gonna held ur celebration ,mostly it happens during weekend so everyone can come, then u have to greet them with geficileterrd and with three kiss. What i like is with coffie or tea then apple tart,tant pooes ,gabakt (you have to choose which u like ) after the beer or cola then after the big plate loaded with absorted sausage ,cheese,frikandel and an eeg its like cut into half .....also the peanuts and chips for the kinderen! There you go ,,,i dont have culture shock instead i found it amazing to celebrate that kind of birthday dus eideren is hebben gezzellig! 😅😊 P.s i am not a dutch but half of my hart i think i wanted to be a Dutch.

[@sebastianpeace3607]

What do these people do on their own birthday? Probably nothing.... A lot of younger people have great birthday parties, when they get older they just do it smaller.

[@lelovena]

I have friends who give out lists of items they want. With the links to the store page aswell... this or money... mostly I end up giving money and some alcohol... With family we indeed go in circles .. With friends we actualy go party or do fun stuff.

[@markdijkstra053]

The example is more a family kind of party. With friends it is not sitting in a circle but eating and drinking a lot thru the whole house

[@thomasbastiaansen3624]

Jezus christus we zijn raar of niet dan

[@mysteriousbluehat2035]

Love sitting or standing in a circle you can talk to everyone then. But not the lack of food in birthday or any kind of Dutch party.

[@mafelf3349]

That gift thing depends on which kid you give the gift (I’m Dutch)

[@Medii17x]

We don't all celebrate that way btw Its usually the like "older" people who celebrate like that My family just throws like a yard party and we bbq or they rent a place out and celebrate there with like food and a bar and a dance floor

[@marcelle5889]

So recognizable OMG !

[@ArtyFartyBart]

I don't get the 'congratulate everyone in the room' thing either, and I'm Dutch

[@makkie211175]

Thing that i found most weird about Dutch birthay parties is that you have to organize your own birthday party, where i came from it is normal that your friends and your family organizes a birthday party for you, mostly a suprise party. You don't have to do anything, because it is your birthday, here i am deadly tired when my birthday is over and i hate when my birthday is comming, because then i need to work for my own birthsay, kinda crazy when you think about it.

[@Wesselhelmond]

Hoe vieren jullie je verjaardag lol Bij ons is het gewoon meziek en feesie

[@oscarallenarchive7676]

2:00 Ik wou ook een keer een prullebak voor mijn verjaardag🤣

[@ccccbbbb]

I’m Dutch, but I don’t really recognize the circle principle? The other stuff is pretty accurately described 😂.

[@fr0237]

This is such a steroetype😂 on my birthday we do stuff like skydiving or racing in karts and stuff😂😂

[@mrsqueak4837]

Yeah, people seem to think we only sit in a circle, talk and eat... We celebrate our birthdays in other ways with friends and family as well. I went skydiving as well with a part of my family, but i wouldn't do that with my grandparents, hahaha.

[@fr0237]

Mr Squeak yeah exactly that i also went with some people of my family

[@myaschubert3976]

Toen ik voor het eerst kado van een Nederlander ontving, zat de bon er ook bij😂 Dat was verassend voor mij.

[@waltersteyger1215]

Even for a lot of dutch people a birthday is very strange. The problems is we do not know how to celebrate it in another way I think. Also I never open presents on a birthday ( I also do not want presents because it is about enjoying a good time with family and friends)

[@Lily_and_River]

Yes Dutch (family) birthdays are a lot like that. It may sound awkward or boring but it is a lot of fun when you are close to your guests. My husband and I celebrated our birthdays together and there were a lot of people who stayed for a long time. We talked a lot, but there can be drinking or playing games aswell. It wasn't exactly a cirkle, everybody sat just wherever possible, it's not that strange. Although I've heard that they tend to sit around a table in other countries, but that's not so different. What's definitely different is that we don't serve a lot of food, although a lot of Dutch people deny this, also in these comments. We don't realise this as most of us are brought up quite frugal. And it's not meant as inhospitable. However I've seen in almost all other cultures that they serve entire meals throughout the day/evening, often like an ongoing buffet. (I believe that's why they more often sit around the table aswell.) Also they don't serve people 1 piece of cake but let them have as many as they want. They don't run out of snacks either. It's the same when you visit Dutch people outside birthdays: it's very common to not get food or a meal offered unless you've been invited for a meal. You'll get coffee and a biscuit though 😜. My advice to foreigners is: try to appreciate the good parts of our culture and don't see the lack of food as rude. My advice to myself and other Dutch people: we should try to learn from other cultures and make sure we always have enough food to serve and leave a lot out on the table.

[@EssentialMeditation]

When someone his birthday is in my life it’s just everybody is talking to each other they’re away from each other it’s not that we sit in a circle and just talk it isbeverybody is talking with someone or dancing or something and many food ofc like fries or chips or just everything people want

[@michelf105]

Apart from the “Gefeliciteerd”, so not at all an accurate depiction of a birthday in my family. I do not recognize this at all! I do think though, that the south (the real south; read: Limburg) is quite different from the rest of the country (in many aspects).

[@nena1girl]

Michel Friedrichs definitely! I live in zuid limburg as well and this is not the way we celebrate:) One big difference: we have plenty of food! Vlaai, pie, snacks and a big dinner haha

[@nienkeengelen5351]

wij hebben altijd vlaai en vaak word ook nog gevraagd of je nog een stuk wil