3 things that Extroverted Feeling is NOT

This video is less about what Extroverted Feeling is “doing” and instead provides perspective on what people with great Fe are NOT doing.
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#LiJos #Fe #ExtrovertedFeeling

[@ireleee]

When i was learning about functions I thought that Fe was kinda a "weak" and "shallow" function but when i get to observe Fe practical use i realized that Fe is almost like a "social glue" that has the power of keeping the harmony between people and i got the see its real power Fe doms are lowkey carrying society on their backs

[@diplomat2623]

💯💯💯

[@vlandorrackhum5420]

agreed

[@charliecastillo2011]

Fe carrying society on its back…when put in these terms it makes me as a sociology-loving INFP like me feel less resentment towards Fe users. Fe is just another way of existing in the world.

[@InternetLiJo]

Social glue is a brilliant way to look at it.

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

@@charliecastillo2011 Took you long enuf. Om Shanti

[@elliottcomer5352]

“You’ll tell them what the correct thing is. And y’know what? They’re still not gonna think about it.” 💀 PREACH, SISTER.

[@InternetLiJo]

Only Ti is thinking about the Ti lol

[@elliottcomer5352]

@@InternetLiJo The most truthful! Like, yeah I’m hearing your cute correction while simultaneously reaching a conclusion about your cute social limitations and weaknesses 😇

[@SierraBravo347]

As an Fe user,(infj), possibly we as feelers should try to understand Ti's outlook on the situation as well. ✌🏼

[@kyurei4478]

Yes especially because we have Ti ourselves. We should be able to understand and just find the best way not to hurt anyone and validate the Ti user in the same time.

[@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied]

Mine fight constantly. -INFJ

[@SierraBravo347]

@@kyurei4478 You are correct! ✌🏼

[@SierraBravo347]

@@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied You know the struggle then! 😆👍🏻

[@jethrolagon8511]

Fe dominant here (ENFJ): I have to tell you that it takes a lot of effort in absorbing other's moods but is so useful when relating to others, identifying the dynamics of groups, protecting and fixing individual/group morale, offering the right kind of support where needed, and just basically trying to glue everyone so that everyone can function and get through with their day. I've worked as a Nurse-in-Charge and I'm comfortable appraising other people's concerns and constantly encouraging collaboration among others so that everyone (including myself) can get what they need. I do feel like extraverted feelers have the natural ability to carry society on their backs.

[@mrx4814]

hi, in the spirit of understanding each other, from your opposite type a Ti- dom, how does your Fe work? is it a feeling thing where you sence people moods and motives using empathy or instinct, or is it a thinking process where you conciously and actively figure out peoples mood, and feelings and their motives social??

[@RlyOverBored]

(This is a long one) Man, Fe is the most annoying function and being self-conscious at the 4th slot makes it worse. U see this odd force field in 3rd person of like "No other judging cognitive functions allowed, you gotta match the Fe energy or else..." as we can see how u describe untimely use of Te, Ti and Fi. Yet sometimes it might actually be necessary, but u think to urself twice when aware cuz of the sensitivity of the people or situation (its bogus). The 2nd one on the call out was a call out on me, especially back in high school where it would bite me idk how many times and I probably deserved that. So I toned it down, and I became much better at trolling the tribe. However, I would honestly prefer avoiding people with this Fe facade or force field at all cost bcuz the conversation gets really dull and unauthentic if im NEVER (keyword never) able to use any of my judging functions and only perceiving ones. The really good Fe users understand that we have to be real, kind and genuine about ourselves and know its okay to use Te, Ti and Fi even in frustrating moments to solve problems from time to time. Although ofc, Fe doms would have the better timing and understand on when to use it. Now Im lowkey seeing this, lets see if this is accurate: - ExFJ will always feel responsibility to directly conduct an organized Fe oriented vibe (could be genuine, a facade or used maliciously) 99% of the time. It's a natural for them. Ti call outs are usually ethical judgments (sometimes pre-conceived judgments) on people's values. - IxFJ are ur chameleons (all those that have Fe in their stack can do this but its more prominent in IxFJs) and lowkey watch birds to keep check of the vibe in order to maintain it and throw in Ti ideas to help the tribe out or Ti call out the chaos to maintain order (which is very uncomfortable). If im accurate, that must be an annoying sense of responsibility. - ExTPs and their Fe child are just the trolls/clowns of the tribe in which could be really successful or really backfire. ESTPs have a blunt and instigating sensory approach and ENTPs have a witty and instigating intuitive approach to throw people off their game with their Ti call outs. Its all intentional to see and understand the social value and u can see why guys like Jordan Peterson have great insight in social/human behavior. - Ur IxTPs are ur outsiders in 3rd person observing the tribe which is why we are kinda awkward (typically the INTP and our Se-blindspot). The very same awkwardness is the very reason why u could be accidently funny for some reason. Although, ideally, the observation is intended to study the tribe and how to deal with it. Our Ti calls out are typically considered too aggressive or critical so we are likely to take notes from IxFJs or ExTPs on delivering our messages in an "approved Fe package" if u will (in other words, to kindly probe the tribe's values while still being honest). Taking notes from ExFJs is way too much Fe, although, grace and mercy towards others are actually pretty valuable Fe stuff to consider implementing. Basically, what LiJo was trying to tell us but Te explained it.

[@Toni7926]

"lowkey watch birds to keep check of the vibe in order to maintain it and throw in Ti ideas to help the tribe out or Ti call out the chaos to maintain order (which is very uncomfortable). If im accurate, that must be an annoying sense of responsibility" I can't agree with the first part, but everything else can happen. I feel the need to apologize for it, it's also annoying for me. I would like to have a Fe-perfect world, but with some types and situations it's just not going to happen. Sometimes it feels like I can only force these uncomfortable situations or be unhappy with disharmony around me. I think if you try to achieve harmony with an IxFJ, it's going to succeed. If you prioritize other things over that, it will be rough. I just have to say at this point as well: I just love IxTP "outsiders". They feel like very lovable and authentic people that you can't really get upset about. I also love how these "Fe packages" help out both sides.

[@realitycheck8371]

Exactly, authenticity is the real key in the long run ;) trying to make a Fi user a Fe one is like trying to make a cat to be a dog ... nobody is really happy in the end.

[@RlyOverBored]

@@Toni7926 Indeed, these "Fe packages" are a must. It seems as tho I unfortunately nailed the IxFJ analysis and with ur additional info, Im beginning to see how IxFJ are processing of taking the backseat. U got it rough, out here feeling the need to apologize for Ti call outs, even when ur right. Come on now! Ur in the right! A perfect Fe-world...interesting. That thought made me realise the Te-blindspot (prone to being too lenient or being a "pushover" for the sake of the harmony of the tribe). Something u might need to watchout for if im accurate once again. Thx for appreciating the IxTPs. After ur reply, I will add that Im starting to commend IxFJs efforts to actually fulfilling the struggling role of "watch bird", I aint about that life. Yall are nice.

[@frozenbattery]

Jordan Peterson is actually an INFJ

[@isaytheenay5961]

All functions are important, in balance both within individuals, and within societies. The reason one person can afford to put so much attention towards one function, is because someone else is picking up the slack. Without Te, we waste time, proceed inefficiently, and probably starve. Without Fe, we work alone or at cross purposes, and probably starve. For a hyperbolic example.

[@galaxyvision417]

This is an amazing explanation, LiJo! I look forward to hearing about each of the other judging functions in this way.

[@InternetLiJo]

Thank you!!

[@august_19]

@@InternetLiJo a series in this format would be great

[@thequattro20v]

People talk non truths for just a vibe????? Can't deal with this shit.😂😂😂

[@InternetLiJo]

wild right?!

[@thequattro20v]

@@InternetLiJo That would be something i would think in my head and just leave early, really poor "time management" talking to vibe. 🤯🤣

[@Kimbonessness]

I’ve often wondered about INTJ Fi tertiary…the can’t deal with this part is that like the Fi environment getting too chaotic for comfort and inferior Se is like I need to leave these people stat?

[@abufzrman9580]

The first point is the equivalent of: A: "Sorry I'm late I had an emergency" B: "Well, take an earlier bus then." Person A lost the will to see person B ever again.

[@jasongodmere9882]

Anytime you talk about Ti, I always get a big-sis vibe; Like you're talking us through the do's and don'ts of our first day at a new school. Thanks for lookin out 😐 (that's my face trying to smile)

[@InternetLiJo]

Haha I’m here for that 🙌🏼

[@bodhisattvaFM]

Actually, it's "Well, actually...". Sorry bout your vibe but this was very important.

[@InternetLiJo]

🤣🤣

[@FionaA17]

I FELT SO CALLED OUT ESPECIALLY IN 1 & 3 as an INTJ. I don’t know whether to thank you for this video or be annoyed.

[@InternetLiJo]

My pleasure Fiona!

[@henryayanna9401]

@@InternetLiJo "my pleasure" on the Fe vid? Reminds me of that one OP video lol

[@DIAvs89]

Me too! Especially on the first one. I'm ALWAYS teaching lessons to people who display feelings, especially when they don't make any sense lol. I mean, if you're upset for an important and real reason yes, I'm still there teaching you how to not doing it. But if you're upset for something that doesn't make any sense, especially if you're upset at ME, then I'm like trying to teach people that the thing didn't exist or didn't make any sense at all, and then act as if I'm now the one who is more upset because they're angry at me for a stupid reason or something entirely made up by their minds and I now have to deal with it. I'm like WTF, just think, and understand why you're so angry and see if it's "right" to be angry at me for no reason. I'm well aware of this pattern but... I mean, I don't lash out at people because of something *I* felt. I try to understand if they actually did something before getting angry, why can't they? LOL

[@AntoineLavoisier]

Great video! To back up point 2, even lead feminine Fe can get trumped by Ti if the statement is inaccurate enough. Once I was with friends having a good time and one said that Bermuda was part of the US. Right away I perked up and said it was British and challenged them to look it up. That changed the mood real fast.

[@d3vinette]

As a lead feminine Fe, this was such a good explanation of Fe! There’s so much Fe slander going around and it’s really nice to see an accurate representation. Here’s my Ti stamp of approval

[@InternetLiJo]

Ahhh thank you!!

[@josecastle4731]

Imagine having to think about how to act to try and act normal but still feeling completely uncomfortable I’m going home

[@alexeysaranchev6118]

5:43 Was expecting a - Hey, come on, it's Joe's birthday. - Who's Joe? ...HAH! GOTTEM!

[@vivianvennicia]

So just sit quietly and laugh when everyone else laughs... Unless they are crying, then look sad... Got it.

[@janetperez2589]

😆😆😆

[@vivianvennicia]

@@janetperez2589 😜😈😏

[@Kimbonessness]

Mwahahaha

[@vivianvennicia]

@@Kimbonessness 😈😈😈🙂

[@adolfohernandez3606]

I understand now... and I feel overwhelmed.

[@mamu7976]

Congrats on getting to 30,000 subs LiJo. You're channel really grown over the years, but the content is always brilliant. 3 great examples. At this rate you may overtake that other INTJ, davesuperpowers with number of subscribers. Great job LiJo.

[@InternetLiJo]

Thanks so much for hanging around all these years Ma Mu

[@hirsch4155]

What Fe also is not: doing something to be superficially popular. That’s a misconception, because popularity as a concept is very Te. Being personable in an Fe way should not be impacted by the going trend. This needs to be said because there’s lots of Fe users who feel totally left out of some vibe because the vibe was just following the crowd. It’s a misconception because people assume Fe is inauthentic , which it is not. No function is. I’m both a Ti user and an Fe user (double decider)and if I think people are acting stupid, not that I think they’re stupid, but if I see that then I won’t bring in my Fe just to join the vibe. I’d rather feel left out than not be true to myself. And that has nothing to do with Fi, but rather my Ti logical reasons.

[@bradwilliams7198]

LiJo, you've done a great job explaining this function--even more impressive since it's your "blind spot" function!

[@InternetLiJo]

Well thank you 💁🏼‍♀️

[@SierraBravo347]

MBTI "Dad joke" du Jour: As an INFJ, I'm Not Fi Ne...😁😁😁

[@InternetLiJo]

🤣

[@SierraBravo347]

@@InternetLiJo 🤪

[@shanaj5621]

Fe is my inferior function. I've gotten better at it over the years, but I know what you mean about having to resist that Ti urge to correct people in order not to kill the vibe. I'll hear people say something inaccurate and I'll have to debate whether it is worth saying something or letting it go. I've gotten better at just letting it go if it's just something minor over the years because people generally don't like being corrected all the time.

[@Kimbonessness]

The way my Ti dom family member does it is he thinks on whether the person is worth his time, because he’s Fe inferior…it’s almost like he channels it haha. If it’s not a family member or close friend, he’s not going to correct them…but you will hear of the frustrating encounter he’s had afterward of holding it in and the correction he would have given😂

[@shanaj5621]

@@Kimbonessness As a fellow Ti dom, I can relate to that. The struggle is real.

[@missnellie33]

I just have to chuckle at the making of a how-to video about helping others improve their Fe. This is probably the most Te concept ever, but hey: that’s why we call them our Saviors, right? 😂 *Point 1: Don’t teach them a lesson.* In this Te Tip, I teach you a mini-lesson about why teaching people lessons will not help you Fe-connect with them. *Point 2: Don’t make it about accuracy.* In this Te Tip, I explain that - _actually_ - focusing on logic, facts, and accuracy will not help you Fe-connect with others. This tidbit is especially for all you Ti Saviors out there, even though we know how much you hate our overly-simplistic Te Tips. 😉 *Point 3: Don’t take the emotional spotlight.* In this Te Tip, I guiltily lament about how we Fi users (especially those of us with Demon Fi) process our feels at the least appropriate times possible and become total drama queens when even remotely emotionally triggered. You can’t Fe-connect with others if you’re constantly either ignoring or co-opting the collective vibe! (*Psssst:* This video is really about helping all of us Savior Tes process our Demon Fi so we can have meaningful relationships with other human beings. Thanks, LiJo! ❤️)

[@HKVDay]

Oh my god this video is relatable to a highly frustrated INTJ. I wish people who need to vent would just stay away from me. When you want a solution, then come to me. I can never tell when people are escalating things to me (objectively and rationally) because they need me to take action or simply venting because of “feelings”. I’ll try to use some of the coping mechanisms cited in this video - but if I’m being honest - I wish people who just “need someone to listen to them” would kindly go away until they actually want to talk solutions.

[@ACDBunnie]

What I find helpful is asking people if they want solutions or they want someone to vent to. Cause then I know what mode to go into beforehand. If they say they want to vent then I turn off my critical thinking hat ("these are the issues I noticed and this is how they cam be fixed") and put on my reflecting hat ("these are the things that made them feel bad and these are the opinions they stated so say those things back, as if you agree with them"). If you reflect their opinions back then it proves to them that a) you were listening b) you understand how they're feeling c) you're on their "side". If you go into problem solving mode when they want venting mode then they don't think you are on their side because you're saying that the way they went about things / handled the situation wasn't correct. They interpret it as you saying it's their fault the bad thing happened, even though that may not be what you're actually saying. So I just find it helpful to ask ahead of time if someone wants solutions/advice or just wants someone to listen to them. So I know what mode to be in. Cause most people want both, it just depends on the specific instance which menu item they want.

[@HKVDay]

@@ACDBunnie this is useful. What happens if you’re not “on their side”? i.e. you don’t agree with them and think the are either the source - or a contributor to the problem. Do you just stand up and leave or shut up and nod?

[@bpsahoo1888]

Is it possible to type a 14 or 15 yrs old? Can it be accurate?

[@charlespackwood]

I can see an existence where I would be telling people valid thoughts and for each & every instance, I would go home to a lecture on maintaining an ambiance of a cool vibe. Probably, why INTJs don't mind staying home.... alone.

[@delynnsimpson3640]

🖤well done. What helps keep my Ti in check is perspective. People are saying "red flag" worthy stuff all the time, and so a couple of questions float through my mind when I'm contemplating addressing it. What impact/truth/history is behind the person's statement? How might this perspective--if enacted--of theirs impact themselves/others? Do we have the sort of relationship where they would safe/comfortable knowing that my curiosity and concern is coming from a place of care, not just a need to be right? From what place is my discomfort coming from *personal internal dissonance with way of thinking, or objective red flag as determined by previous questions*? There's more questions, but I think that's a good foundation. Not everyone is aware of or puts deep thought into how they in a very real way impact the tribe. So Fe/Ti brethren: Be compassionate. Be curious. Stay in your lane. Thanks, LiJo--Quality as always.

[@InternetLiJo]

Fe validation - thank you Delynn!

[@Kimbonessness]

Omg, what’s your type because this is the brilliance that keeps social harmony!

[@delynnsimpson3640]

Are you talking to me or LiJo? She's double masculine INTJ (Ni/Te) and I'm a suspected jumper INFJ (Ni/Ti)

[@glueball214]

hmmm.. my comment didn't post .. must have made an Se error.. but thanks again and massively good stuff 💙🎄

[@InternetLiJo]

Thank you!!

[@Azdaja13]

My Te brain during during this whole video: "ERROR. Does not compute."

[@DreBars]

"ACTUALLY!!!!"

[@lishayost144]

People with Fe first are also weirdly not always the best at "Fe". If they don't side with you for whatever reason, they'll let you know and argue with you, or worse yet, make you feel shame. Sometimes people with lower Fe are better at times supporting someone, even if it doesn't come naturally. My husband is ISTP, and even if he doesn't agree with me always, he knows when I'm in an emotional state to just listen. It is good to just have a listening ear. I do my talking and can usually come to the conclusion I need on my own. I don't need someone to "take my side" or solve my problem. Definitely don't need someone to argue with me at the moment. Anyway, I've known people with Fe first who have ruined vibes as well, whether it be in a one-on-one conversation or a group setting. Actually, I kinda think Fi people are the best for going to someone when you are having a bad day or are upset about something and you just need emotional support. I don't know why that is, but that's my experience. Maybe it's because they're not trying to solve your problem, they're not afraid of emotions and aren't trying to fix emotions, and they typically don't take the side of the person who isn't currently present. When I talk to my ISTP husband about my feelings, I know I'm overwhelming him, so even though he's a good listener, I know I'm making him uncomfortable. Fe people might correct me or point out what they think I did "morally wrong". Te people will try to solve your problem to get rid of the emotions. And Ti people are just inadequate with emotions. Fi people seem the most fine with accepting that others are expressing their own emotions. I think it's because they know that the other person's emotions are separate from their own, while Fe users tend to take on the emotions of others, so negative emotions make them feel uncomfortable. But yeah, with Fi, in a group setting, or if they are having a bad day, it can often be about them, which is fine, but true. So when I'm in need of emotional support, going to an Fi person that I trust who is not currently struggling really badly with something themselves can be the best for me.

[@marcwemtrust1480]

Thank you much LiJo for this very thoughtful and creative explanation. Brilliant perspective and very helpful. Have a great sunday. :)

[@InternetLiJo]

Happy Sunday Marc and thank you!

[@TaylorVero]

This was such a helpful explanation thank you. I cringed a bit because I know that I jump to "what can we learn here" mode a lot. It comes from a good place, but yeah, I see it painfully now 👀

[@ericaaaafj]

Great video, as an high Fe user I’ve really appreciated this!!! And I admire the fact that a Te user is saying this! I’ve always noticed this differences between (my) Fe’s prospective and other judging functions’ ones; so interesting to hear that here now!😍 I found myself titter amused when you called Te, Ti and Fi out, one by one, felt that!🤣

[@InternetLiJo]

Sometimes the best way of speaking to what something is, is calling out what it isn’t 💁🏼‍♀️ Glad it resonated with your own Fe - validation cookie for me 🍪

[@fjersnam]

Guilty - especially #1. How do I Fe/not Te better? It's like a language that I understand and appreciate but cannot speak.

[@pugninja7037]

Very good video..

[@InternetLiJo]

Many many thanks

[@valerievaughn5495]

I really resonated with this video. So easy to see that Ti in a coworker come out in meetings. Easy to point the finger away from myself. Not so easy to hear the Te and Fi tips. I have work to do. I keep trying. Getting better each day. Thanks LiJo for another good one!

[@nymphadoratonks158]

As an Fi user, the third one has happened to me a couple of times. I haven’t always considered the impacts of my feelings on others and it’s ended up ruining the whole vibe. It’s not that i didn’t care about the group’s vibe before and now i do, it’s just my first reaction to feeling something has been to ...well stop and feel that. It took me a while until i recognized this pattern and stopped doing that.

[@InternetLiJo]

🙌🏼 you get it!!

[@Beyondflix]

I have Fi lower in my stack and am currently learning to feel emotions when they pop up. So pushing them down again would be a step back for me. So I gotta be like fuck the vibe ATM.

[@Kimbonessness]

I would say the main thing is to still feel that way but because everyone else can’t hang (can’t handle it) don’t voice it? Unless everyone feels the same way, then for sure voice it. Find the right crowd for it because you don’t want to keep bottling up your opinion/thoughts/feelings

[@theultimateshadow7232]

@Nymphadora Tonks, very relateable

[@BlueHazyDreams]

I wish I could say it's happened only a couple times, lmao. My feelings are strong, hard not to focus on them. And just not feeling them doesn't work cause they don't go away if I try to suppress them, and then they get worse.

[@ideasonnotes-intp-intj6245]

Do talk more about extravort there design to be special or having a purpose in which they lile making history > being a legend Where as are kind are made kinda less talk and more alone EXtravorts are like wolf's and buffalos there lions ( INtroverts are bears and cats (and lions 🤫) Also besides EX the IN can be good at acting on there terms and keep it smooth > the key to communicate to people : EX .

[@richy3417]

WOW! Their problem is making ME uncomfortable... Nail, Head, Cablamo! Thanks :)

[@noms3434]

as usual, i doubted that i had Fi again but now it is once again confirmed that i do have a high Fi

[@dialiann]

This is PERFECT

[@jmiller1977]

You were very descriptive in your explaining of of FE FI AND TE AND TI I understand them better , I USE NE and Fi so I’ve always struggled with under standing FE

[@LilacSnowBun]

15/10 Your dog’s ears 💖

[@lazyscholar7932]

Te is making social problems into teaching moments to avoid the problem again. Does Fe ask questions to figure out how the misunderstanding between people occured? What about process tracing to figure out how a vibe got ruined through complex social dynamics? Or is this Te dipping into Fe?

[@Undercovermotherfcker]

Thank you for this because damn, I've just realized how selfish Fi can get. I'm an ENFP and now im thinking back to experiences where i was more concerned with my values rather than of those around me, without the intention of being selfish of course.

[@julieolson1402]

As an INFP with an ENFJ older sister, I always felt completely lacking in my ability to do that "thing that she did" with groups of people. After watching your video I realize that is far from the case. The Force just will never be with me to the same extent as my Jedi sister. I never wanted to be great at it. I just wanted to be able to do it when appropriate. And I, apparently, do. Thanks.

[@a.d.8827]

ENTP here, that's so me, it might not work with everyone but if you need to complain I'll happily join you, we can even plot the murder of whoever hurt you

[@mtdarkness82]

Good tips for non-Fe doms. The technicality thing is useful information for Ti. Noting that most people don't care about what's right highlights Fe because we're talking about what those around us value. Choosing to care about what they care about over a need for accuracy is Fe in action. CS Joseph often says the INTPs growth is found in being more affiliative. Caring about what others care about is the very heart of Fe.

[@ACDBunnie]

If Fe is in a group of people how do they know what each person cares about or values if everyone is hiding and keeping their true feelings to their self for the sake of group unity? Cause I find myself having to keep my values and feelings to myself and even lie about them for the sake of the group. And I don't think Fe picks up on people like that

[@mtdarkness82]

@@ACDBunnie all extraverted functions are, as a rule, more broadly focused but shallow. It's more about what might cause disharmony or what might improve harmony among the entire group rather than zoning in to one individual with such detail. That's usually where Fe begins to bleed into Fi. But us Fe users are generally more emotionally shallow than those with Fi in the same slot, respectively. Some of us are good at reading people, but that's separate. My ISFP friend is really good at this with his Fi-Ni. But I am as well. I'm very sensitive to the inner lives of others such that I have to pretend to not notice most of what I notice so people don't feel scrutinized by my perception.

[@Mart-Bro]

Really good shit here

[@InternetLiJo]

Thanks Martin

[@Darija-d3y]

Cognitive functions help explain the psyche and its tendencies, but the more I learn, the theory of everyone being a rigid type fails to make sense. In childhood, we form an identity and mental habits, but everyone can certainly develop in any way by training some 'function'. Meaning you can be a logical planner and socially emotionally developed, it doesn't have to contradict. Why are feeling and thinking polar opposites? How is 'caring about people' even a function? While we are social creatures no way emotions contradict logic, its irrational trauma that contradictory to logic, not emotion. FE makes more sense as a mystical function, one that has to do with vibrations and the 'weather', the energetic tendency of the object/subject and its consequent activity/expression. While thinking is busy physically organizing reality, feeling will dictate the tendency on spectrum from good to bad. Not in a sense of value(reasons), but as destruction- creation dynamic. etc

[@eval4495]

Great video, I sometimes doubt whether I'm using introverted feeling because I'm kind of a people pleaser but it's true that I can get stuck in my own emotions and not see how it affects the people around me. 😅

[@sandradibiaso7316]

We introverted feelers need to ask other people if they are ok? We need to ask them how they are feeling. We don't know how other people are feeling. Only extraverted feelers know how other people are feeling.

[@livebetterhealthcoach9197]

Te guilty (add blast first and omg) - hard lessons to learn!! Slowly getting there

[@kaioxys]

Fabulous how quickly you got this out after it was requested. 👏

[@samuelfunner2373]

I'm trying to pay attention but the dog in the backround is distracting me

[@smathew8810]

As an INTJ, Fe is my least favorite function. This was really helpful, thanks.

[@Beyondflix]

urgh... aren't Fe users responsible for equally valuing every Fi user's emotion? If my Fi feels underrepresented, why shouldn't I express myself? I'd be suppressing my emotions and that's something I didn't wanna do anymore.

[@timothyc.8666]

Fe actually wants you to express yourself so we don't leave any Fi voice behind when we take the tribe's feelings into consideration. It's when Fi user's suppress their individual values and become upset at the tribe for not considering their values that Fe gets irritated. It makes emotional management harder for Fe as Fi can become demanding in a state like this and then poof..... the equality is gone and we are left working overtime to restore it back.

[@ACDBunnie]

Nah I feel the same way. This exactly! I can't let go of my Fi and focus on others because I rarely come across someone who makes sure I'm feeling okay. Like 90% of the time it's "well just put on a smile, have you tried being happy? Have you tried not having your feelings so you don't inconvenience others?". It's rare to find that person who actually makes sure you feel safe, happy, and included and isn't just putting on a show, pretending they care about everyone, but telling those who they deem "problem individuals" (aka individuals who don't feel included) to be quiet

[@kmk403]

Me @ the beginning - "oh I'm good at this!" Then you said 3:32 and it hit home - 😶😅 Although I do laugh when I see other people do this.

[@ΔΕΣΠΟΙΝΑΣΩΤΗΡΙΑΔΟΥ]

I got exposed really bad here

[@wmindofchristdiscipleship]

I can so relate

[@ideasonnotes-intp-intj6245]

From Analyst Interesting video

[@cameronvalentine6207]

I'm play last with Te so I think it's safe to say it'll be a minute before I get decent with Fe💀

[@somesoul9362]

Honesty If I were to get a criptic message out of no where without context right out of the blue I would be genuinely confused 🤔

[@somesoul9362]

Maybe even a bit concerned

[@YourNickIsTaken]

Birthdays....

[@InternetLiJo]

ugh who needs em ;)

[@YourNickIsTaken]

@@InternetLiJo everyone needs them. Once. The rest is just nostalgia :)

[@ellenvanderveen6576]

🥰🌈☀️💕

[@nateo200]

ENFJ here, great explanation my Fe and Ni make understanding things like this or explaining them especially hard and my INTP and INTJ mentors sometimes just kill the vibe or come off as uninterested in emotions all together.

[@mauritsbol4806]

I like to compare extroverted feeling and introverted feeling with the queen and king in chess respectively. Extroverted feeling is keeping every piece on the board safe, especially the king. It is a bit of a show of if you look at it from the perspective of the king. Introverted feeling is the king, and without it, extroverted feeling and introverted feeling loses. The king can survive without the king, the queen sometimes even sacrifices for the greater good, but the queen can’t survive without the king. It isn’t about love, but it is about safety ~ entp

[@mauritsbol4806]

So thought process of entp I want to get ideas from others I want to achieve that using logic I want to control safety for others So that i can ultimately provide for others Note, there might occasionally be a case of where there is a intj entp power-struggle. I want to control your safety vs i want to control my safety. There may be a certain overlap with attachment theory.

[@mauritsbol4806]

Just some thoughts i wrote No one is protecting entp’s, and intj’s and entp’s are protecting intj’s. You are overprotected and we are under protected. But that is fine, until my protection becomes your protection. I need to learn to sometimes be a king to keep you safe, or at least not blunder my queen away for no reason. Fi’s need to learn that to keep themselves safe, they may need to actively care for others’ and others’ vulnerability. Power, what intj’s have, comes with great responsibility. Otherwise, they ultimately remain weak.

[@lishayost144]

As an INTP, I relate to being the Ti killjoy of the "party". I put party in quotation marks because it typically happens when I'm in a group of about 4-5 people. I know in that instance I ruin the "vibe" because everyone stares at me and it goes silent. This is why I don't like being around people. One-on-one is fine because I can usually save the conversation pretty quickly and change the subject back to whatever it was we were talking about. But in a group, I just get mortified and feel like I ruined everything because everyone is looking at me as if I did. It's difficult always stifling my Ti and having to scrounge up whatever Fe energy I have when I'm in a group (or even just with one person). What bothers me is that I'm one of the people in the group too, but what I have to say doesn't usually matter to people, especially the more people there are present. I always have to cater to everyone else, and they're all allowed to be annoying or whatever, but any time I say something that I really want to say, I'm just a killjoy, or weird, or whatever.

[@enfieldjohn101]

I know what you mean. This may be one of the best descriptions of what we really mean when we INTP or INTJs say that being in group situations is uncomfortable or that we have 'social anxiety'. It's one reason why I'm very quiet and mostly just listen when I find myself in a group discussion. There's an old saying: 'Better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.'

[@eval4495]

I guess this is why my brothers [Intj and intp] don't like going to family reunions as much. 🙃 They always send me as their "representative." lol - infp, also the oldest.

[@saelzano]

I love the new background. So aesthetic

[@InternetLiJo]

eeep! Thanks!

[@HKVDay]

Question: I am an INTJ male and quite quite an extreme one. I am dating an ESFJ female. I am finding it very challenging. Based on what you have observed and/or any studies of relevance that you have read, is this doomed to / or more likely to fail? Feel free to caveat but please don’t sit on the fence.

[@nora_8080]

Needed to hear this

[@DRAVIASTUDIO]

After quite a while without coming to this place i have to say Thanks You Lijo. I have learned so much.

[@BrockMak]

Ah, so I do Te just as much as Ti. But the way I do Te is a way to self-regulate my demon Fi, or to supress my Fe in case if an Fi user tries to unload on me.

[@DenisStarikov]

Excellent review of how Fe people annoy FI people. 🤗

[@InternetLiJo]

Lmao

[@pugninja7037]

I know I've already made a comment, but I love Te.. I have no idea how you are so ABC in your thinking as a intj , it's fascinating.

[@InternetLiJo]

That's Ni at work - Ni reduces and organizes the concept and Te makes my communication integrated to the needs of my audience :)

[@pugninja7037]

@@InternetLiJo as a Ne dom, I'm soooo jealous :p

[@Kimbonessness]

@@InternetLiJo I loved when you used the alphabet in the video, XYZ when you’re at Q…my thoughts are usually A, M, Z and everyone’s trying to fill in the letters in between and getting lost, meanwhile I continue into numbers totally going past the alphabet. What is that Ni or Ne? I think it’s Ni without Te because at least it’s following the line but it’s patchy leaving out parts that people need but you don’t need. Actually other intuitives are the only ones who can follow along that line even with the holes/patches

[@cczz2172]

@@Kimbonessness You’re really cute! Do you like INTJ’s?

[@Kimbonessness]

@@cczz2172 The number one thing I’ve seen from an INTJ is don’t waste my time and I always wonder if I’m going to waste their time😅 Frankly that’s a very Te thing to say…but I also think INTPs have that perspective too but they’re caught in awkwardness because of inferior Fe which is my dominant function. INTJs are fine, I think I only know one…are you an INTJ? Do you know mine?

[@maxb5640]

Great vid! Thats a perfect summary of fe deaf abysmal failures in emotional situations #3 is probably worst

[@Kimbonessness]

Oof best video ever, my household is dominant Te and Ti! And I’m dominant Fe so you got us all. My Mom is dominant Si and tries to rein in my Dad and brother😂

[@enfieldjohn101]

Man, these things are so hard to avoid doing! I catch myself doing them almost every time I'm in these situations. When I catch myself in time to prevent these thoughts from turning into speach or actions, I can try my best to give the hurting person what they actually want: a sympathetic ear. All too often though, I don't catch myself in time and have to make amends later if I hurt their feelings.

[@IM-uh5tk]

1:01 don't try to teach them a lesson - Te 2:26 don't make it about accuracy - Ti 4:15 don't take the emotional spotlight - Fi

[@cczz2172]

Thanks dude.

[@perhaps5095]

If you're trying so hard to sound smart why do you only talk about the basics of typology

[@InternetLiJo]

Not trying, this is just the content I cover on this channel.

[@perhaps5095]

@@InternetLiJo why delete every non-serious video off your channel then right after PDB started calling you an ESFP

[@ideasonnotes-intp-intj6245]

One more comment I will say an IN group is small no should be completely alone Like In the wild the predators attack what is out side of the hoard the group are group maybe be different but it is kinda obvious Also there is not complete story if it is eye it's like living in the desert nothing there .

[@jamaiks.8526]

Haha I think I see what you are doing here. Kinda sorry for that last Te rant. TY once more for pointing out something so helpful.

[@5idi]

Can we just stop referring to Fe or feeling in general as "chemicals"? All functions rely on chemicals. Fe is not always about feeling good and chilling together. It's not even always about the vibe - vibe is just a huge social priority because guess what, if affects everyone.

[@Beyondflix]

was that some Ti right there? :D Unlike the others, I enjoy your precision

[@5idi]

@@Beyondflix I'm self-typed ISFP, but I had a dream tonight that someone typed me as TiNi, so go figure. I blame my precision on Se - highlighting the details of a concept and recognizing when information is incomplete or misused. Many functions are often misinterpreted because someone "got the idea." And man, Fe doms are experts in ruining vibe for some greater value.

[@5idi]

@@Beyondflix I also happen to enjoy a little chemistry and biology, so calling one cognitive process "chemicals" really bothers me. Emotions? Also not specific to F - we can get emotional using any function, either because we're good at it or fail it miserably.

[@InternetLiJo]

Hahah yeah, I just feel the chemical word as a Te user makes sense of the Fe. You're right about it not always being about the good, that's why I spoke about how Fe joins the other person for the downs and the lows as well. It's such an important part of Fe.

[@5idi]

@@InternetLiJo I know what you mean, but it's misleading people who learn from you. It's like saying that vegetarians are those who eat vegetables. No, everyone eats vegetables (should), and vegetarians eat other stuff too. The vegetables (or chemicals, in Fe case) are not the point and not specific to those people. It's hardly related.

[@tamtamtheexplorer3476]

I like this practical advice on how to exercise a cognitive function so you can get better at it.

[@johnny_roots]

Great explanation as usual!

[@diplomat2623]

As an ENFJ I say THANK YOU.

[@InternetLiJo]

😭♥️ my work has been validated

[@peterdentice5725]

😆

[@Takosaga]

I probably am a debbie downer.

[@InternetLiJo]

or a debbie upper?

[@Takosaga]

big downer cause I want to get into deep convos and don't want to vibe haha

[@d3vinette]

@@Takosaga vibing and deep convos aren’t mutually exclusive?

[@Beyondflix]

@@Takosaga I'm with you on this

[@Beyondflix]

@@d3vinette they are in group situations

[@17x71]

3 things that Lijo is not 1. INTJ 2. Dominant Ni 3. Not dominant Fi

[@Beyondflix]

you're absolutely wrong man hahahahaha

[@Kimbonessness]

How did you come to this conclusion exactly?

[@Kimbonessness]

And so what type would you say she is?

[@17x71]

@@Kimbonessness 100% ISFP without a doubt. She's just an ennea 1 and an ennea 4w5 and all the ennea 1 ISFP's plus any feeling type that possesses some intellectuality (which in this case comes from the 5 in her 4w5) think they're INTJ or some other thinking type. On top of the primary desire of ennea 4 being to want to feel special and unique, she, as an ennea 4 is going to want to be INTJ over generic ISFP. And on top of that, ISFP's are still basically "INTJ" in a way it's just they don't value their INTJ side as much as they do there ISFP side. So she still knows what she's talking about 90% of the time, and can pull off the "INTJ" persona well, but in reality, the INTJ side of her isn't the main person she is. And so the 10% where she's wrong is her coming up with some bs excuses for why she in fact prefers Fi and even Se over the INTJ's dominant functions which are NiTe and it's the same generic bs excuse "oh I just want to develop my lower functions". Which is bs. Developing does not equal prioritizing. An INTJ with developed Fi or Se still does not prioritize or favor those lower functions over their Ni and Te. MBTI is literally about which functions you prefer and prioritize more. So if you prioritize or have an inkling more toward Fi then Te, then u are an Fi Dom or aux and most definitely not a dominant Te end of story etc. You can't even debate that.

[@17x71]

@@Beyondflix you absolutely don't know wtf ur talking about Daniel