Interview with an Agile Coach - Sprint2

Agile programming language
Another agile video: • The Agile Paradoxon
Interview with an Agile Coach with Josh Doe - aired on © The Agile.
Programmer humor
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Agile 2022
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Scrum jokes
kanban
agile manifesto
time boxing
planning poker
waterfall
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#software #jokes #agile

[@Yogii0000]

The fact that these were uploaded a "sprint" apart is a detail I appreciate.

[@nephisto2]

This one is shorter scope. I'm sure the next will be late.

[@psikosen]

The fact that it's late, makes your comment event more brilliant

[@AndreiDinTheHouse]

it's just an increment. VELOCITY!

[@wangyiming9207]

Yahhhhh! VELOCITY ! Magic word!

[@alexandremachado1014]

´"The company was working fine, before I introduced scrum". That one got me 🤣

[@wherami]

truth

[@SlackwareNVM]

"I'm so used to it, I don't even hear the waterfall" This is truly sad, and yet so funny.

[@VijoPlays]

I hate how accurate it is

[@evennot]

​@@VijoPlays waterfall can be fine too, like the scrum. Lead just needs to have a precognition of the problems that will arise during the development. Also, I recommend tarot instead of scrum poker and ouija board to determine product's needs. Way more accurate

[@infienite9215]

"Don't give customers what they need, give them what they ask for" Democracy, in a way

[@Greenthum6]

The customer is always right. But make sure you can bill for the hours.

[@user-vm8yn4hb4w]

based im gonna use this phrase in on-site interview

[@cauchyschwarz3295]

Your comment implies that people are fundamentally incapable of looking after themselves. And that their 'betters' are. Quite the sorry worldview. Belongs to varieties of fascism really. I'd suggest you read "Manufactoring consent". It gives great insight on how much PR effort & strategy goes into keeping people this divided and distracted.

[@PeterLeder]

This nails it. Your company was consulted to find a solution, the client thought they couldn’t solve on their own. Yet somehow the client comes up with some sketchy ideas, no abstraction, no change of perspective. Your company doesn’t even try to analyse the underlying problem to be solved. And we as developers end up implementing instant legacy systems 😭 software nobody likes, nobody really needs and even the devs lack love for their work in the end.

[@marceelino]

@@cauchyschwarz3295 lol. You are a really nice joke.

[@OOD2021]

"That's why they have me, to make waterfall look like scrum" This is one of the most true jokes I've heard so far :D

[@pertsevds]

Right on point!

[@remka2000]

So painfully true 😂

[@steve16384]

"I can't remember what I was doing, but I'm going to keep doing it." This is every stand-up.

[@SamuelSmithJ]

We need "Interview with a DevOps Engineer." "What is DevOps? It's whatever the developers tell me my job is this week."

[@DaveO0808]

LOL🤣

[@rwelton83]

The accuracy

[@Jonas-Seiler]

it’s gone beyond that, now ever dev is expected to understand operations as well and do all the work regarding it on the side next to all the actual developing they still have to do

[@JohnVance]

"to help them make waterfall look like scrum" goddamn every scrum I've ever been in

[@MrFroggster]

As a Product Owner myself i can say it is accurate. The best part was "we reduced the number of meetings and increased the number of scrum meetings and let waterfall Look like scrum.

[@taylorkaplan2614]

"I was a horrible developer", doesn't follow through with a positive 😂😂😂😂

[@pilot8720]

God I fucking love this channel. Also please do Senior C coder!!!

[@user-vm8yn4hb4w]

are u senior c coder?

[@pilot8720]

@@user-vm8yn4hb4w no

[@MrRiVoS]

Yeeesss!

[@CommandantNOVA]

Senior Pure C coders? That's basically just the people who invented IP or Databases itself.

[@TheRighteousDawn]

@@CommandantNOVA I thought they used Linux lol.

[@dylanclarke9497]

As someone who’s in the middle of switching over to Agile working, this content is eerily accurate to watch. Still trying to figure out why we have an arbitrary deadline to finish by when all that happens if we don’t is that it gets put into the next one.

[@winsomehax]

Why didn't it get done? If you aren't looking at that, learning from it and instead just rolling it over to the next sprint... then there's your problem.

[@talhaabdurrahman9407]

@@winsomehax mate, the problem is that people don't set sprint durations based on the stories to complete, they just set stupid deadlines to meet the sprint deadlines. It's honestly funny and irritating for me at this point.

[@ace90210ace]

If you have arbitrary deadlines you probably not using agile right or not a good Agile framework. with agile you set your own estimates (not deadlines) for bits of work you are confident you can do in a sprint (normally two weeks) so its not arbitrary unless you decided to not estimate and make a abritrary number up (which i assume you dont). The reason for the two week cycle is to not commit to large long pieces of work all at once which would prevent you being agile and changing to the situation as needed. It also over time allows those who set the roadmap to more accurately estimate when things will get done as they have a list of stories you estimated and alot of data on how many you normally do in a sprint. and so long as its reasonably consistent in how you estimate (event if its consistently widely out) they can (relatively) accurately estimate the roadmap. theres allot of downsides and funny points in the video but the "deadlines" part just isnt one ive ever seen (as part of the agile process)

[@dylanclarke9497]

@@winsomehax doesn’t change the fact that it’s an arbitrary deadline to begin with. Also, planning tickets two weeks ahead is great and all but doesn’t account for high priority tickets that come in immediately after that planning, and NEED to be completed within the sprint that didn’t account for them, further making the sprints redundant as they aren’t stuck to, and can’t be for us to be able to deliver necessary updates on time. The whole process is confusingly unnecessary and apparently makes things more efficient but I’ve seen no beneficial changes yet.

[@dylanclarke9497]

@@ace90210ace the concept of the Agile deadline being every two weeks (roughly) IS arbitrary. “How much can you do in two weeks?” Is the strangest way to get the most work possible out of people I’ve seen. There isn’t an actual requirement for the work to completed by the date the sprint ends (usually) and as I’ve said above, higher priority work usually comes in during a sprint anyway that needs dealing with there and then, not putting into a sprint one/two weeks away. I just can’t see any benefits of Agile are applicable to the day to day life of the team. I can see instances that it’s useful, such as breaking down a more complex ticket or estimating how long a necessary update will take, but for every ticket? I just can’t.

[@johnelliott9823]

During start of lockdown Agile coach insisted we physically stand at home when saying our piece during standups "in the spirit of agile" Two years on not sure where he went..

[@liraco_mx]

He became one with the spirit of agile.

[@boltyk1]

you're lucky it was not plunk standup meetings :) but you now, sometimes I want our standups to be during everybody making plunk. It's ridiculous when what supposed to be a quick standup status check become a half to a one hour meeting about everything.

[@illegalsmirf]

What are you supposed to say while standing up?

[@johnelliott9823]

@@illegalsmirf what you did yesterday, blockers, what you will do today

[@illegalsmirf]

@@johnelliott9823 what if you’re not sure what you’ll be doing today yet?

[@Samir-Kahvedzic]

"Now are are only two weeks in delay, I mean.. 2 SPRINTS in delay"

[@MrLordZenki]

I worked in a company where they decided to adopt Agile and Scrum and literally the first thing they did was set how many hours are in a story point.

[@pregret]

x2 😂 it doesn't make sense... But kind of makes some sense

[@EspherMercury]

We spent two hours talking about how a story point is abstract and not a unit of time, but the 'smallest' effort item or w/e, and then went we went up to trying to sync across teams immediately said "OK, so when you're estimating across teams, these can differ, so instead think of one story point as one day". I get that it's to set a baseline across teams and to give you 'something' to start with for calculating velocity/capacity/load, but it cracked me up.

[@ArisAlamanos]

"...to help them make waterfall look like scrum..." hahahahahahahaha

[@the_broly_arms]

Oh, my God. The hard cuts in this video have me laughing so hard it actually hurts. Please, I beg you, never stop making videos. 😅

[@mikemegalodon2114]

Exactly, these cuts are making it 😂

[@diegoleao]

So accurate 😂 Scrum is just a template for organizing your development, nothing more. But the agile coach will $ell you that if you "do it right" it will solve a billion problems. You did it, and the problems are still there? Well, you didn't do it right.

[@LandonBrainard]

Sounds like how people describe communism to me 🤔

[@twinters8]

Ah, the no true scrum fallacy...

[@50733Blabla1337]

@@LandonBrainard Pretty much how neolibs describe capitalism :)

[@MichaelBattaglia]

You forgot about passing out personalized poker planning cards that use Fibonacci numbers 😄

[@mehoprelivoda]

with 0.5

[@jesusallerdiez]

3 layers of abstraction to determine the time it takes a storie. M -> 2 -> from 1.5 days to 2.5 days of work aka 11 to 18hours dafuq?

[@lunaticberserker5869]

"I'm a horrible developer" *looks at the camera confidently*

[@thiscris-qj7ce]

Test driven development! or a regular manual QA tester. We are hungry for more!

[@drybiscuits]

The awkward moment when everyone's standing up and looking at one another knowing someone's about to lie

[@dtrippsbold7931]

I can’t get enough of these videos

[@sboneloshezi6529]

We need more of these videos bro. I have watched every single one at least 5 times to date and recommend this channel to every developer who crosses my path.

[@BradenJohnYoung]

It should not be possible to love something that makes me absolutely livid, but here we are

[@devvilboyy676767]

" Reduce the amount of meetings. Increase the amount of scrum meetings" that shit broke me lol

[@doresearchstopwhining]

"I help them make waterfall look like scrum." pure gold....

[@zlackbiro]

When we can expect QA/tester interview? 😂

[@TimothyVogelsang]

Yes you can complain, make it a story in your backlog 🤣 You have the best videos bud -- keep rolling!

[@h3um]

we deserve cloud architect next.

[@dylanclarke9497]

Nice timing! Loving this content!

[@lmh4162]

Keep up the awesome work. You videos are very enternaining :) . You should do interview with Android Developer, iOS Developer, or DevOps. A sketch or interview of a Remote Only Developer would be fun.

[@DjSqueekz]

Its been way too long since we've had a new video, please discuss any blocks you're having 😅 But for reals, I would love to see you do a portlandia-style hipster character that's obsessed with all the css frameworks, but doesn't actually know any css!

[@zanepearton5766]

Absolutely brilliant 😁👌

[@douglasmaclaine-cross9976]

"they hire me to make waterfall look like scrum" - lol

[@kencharles7048]

I love these videos so much. I laugh my head off every time.

[@Sarubotai]

"We solved the problem we didnt even know we had" I just got coffee all over my desk - this is gold 😂

[@victor_TH]

Even better than the previous sprint!

[@OOD2021]

"Yeah you can complain, make it a story in your backlog" lol

[@delayed_control]

"To help them make waterfall look like SCRUM" I'm dead

[@wouterschols3345]

Got an actual add for an agile coach before this video

[@ea_naseer]

"Don't give customers what they need give them what they ask for..." 5 mins later I'm still trying to process this.

[@FLMKane]

Its the opposite of what Steve Jobs would say

[@Jaracara11]

"and hold people from lunch" This is too real

[@stormarrow2120]

best quote. Make waterfall look like scrum. I love it.

[@ivanvoid4910]

"make waterfall look like scram" lmao I'm dying here XD P.S. Do pair programming! Do pair programming!

[@Hexagonaal]

HAVE YOU TRIED PAIR PROGRAMMIIIIIING

[@mrherpes2971]

Thank you for this. We need Sprint3

[@elbjorno]

We need more!

[@elbjorno]

I check this channel manually every week to see if theres another vid lol :p

[@robertszustakowski6622]

Will we ever get a Sprint3, or did you go back to full waterfall?

[@JoFuSoA]

You are a Genius, Love your videos

[@rodrigo2112-]

Looking forward to a Kanban video 🤣

[@jacquesmarais8498]

"How do we know this guy can be trusted? We don't know him." "His name is Josh doe."

[@tomonabudget]

This video is so accurate, it gave my partner who worked as a product manager, PTSD.

[@user-vm8yn4hb4w]

i've been waiting for you from korea

[@toyyibomolola6284]

Nice one always 👌

[@exokristian]

Is it a solo creation? Awescrum, fanscrumstic delivery!

[@tomarik]

Got "velocity" into this one!

[@leonredman2109]

Love these... need one for Wordpress developers rofl

[@Ace-uc5jn]

"I don't remember what I did, but what I did I will continue" this is me every DSU

[@reaper84]

Hey! Any updates on the latest JJQuery version? 🤣

[@glthegamemaster4197]

"I don't remember what I did yesterday, but I'll keep doing it" I feel attacked lmao

[@SanKlks]

This is gold.

[@miletacekovic]

Part 2 is even better than Part 1!

[@johncastorina8310]

this is brilliant

[@dendrites]

"I help business make waterfall look like scrum"... hahaha

[@primalmotion]

This is perfection

[@sagivfer]

"Some people believe in this, some people in this, some people believe in scrum" Crying over here

[@davidbasil3161]

"I was a horrible developer"

[@pietrsmit]

“….two sprints in delay. “My god.

[@Stefan-vz7op]

Love it 😂

[@moosethemucha]

this is way too real

[@elixexo4011]

A master of disguise.

[@dagadagad]

"It didn't work because..." :))))

[@douglassamuel]

AWESOME!

[@alighathorc1549]

Hey man, are you ok? It's been a while since your last video. I hope you are ok. Keep doing this s***! Love the channel!

[@JohnBelluci]

"Dont give the clients what they need, give them what they ask for" roflmao

[@sammy961119]

notice his screen is finally on at last.... just Jira 🤣

[@haydenthai935]

Can we get a video about C?

[@golubevslife]

Waiting for video about DevOps :)

[@davidbakin1953]

"Help them make waterfall look like scrum" - and here I was thinking he wasn't going to talk about SAFe _at all_ !

[@ClydeHobart]

As one for hobby, I'd love to see one of these videos about Rust developers!

[@phil-l]

“Im so used to it, I don’t even hear the waterfall”😆 1:30

[@alexanderlogunov5147]

Yay, it's renamed from Part to Sprint in the Title. 💘

[@emiliog07]

“That’s because they have me as a coach… to help them make waterfall… look like scrum.”

[@wherami]

this is too real lol

[@DesignerDave]

Comedy gold. :D

[@danielconstantin6273]

Do a DevOps interview next 🥰

[@BrettMorin]

1:20 OMG I feel like that is what I am in now.

[@Jadinandrews]

Please do a video on the tech ceo that uses tech jargon more than they have the right to

[@ChristianRodriguez-tv4ct]

Gold

[@kairatkempirbaev7183]

waterfall look like scrum Totally agree.

[@csibesz07]

Every word is true.

[@kerbolax]

I miss getting things done, before agile

[@kerbolax]

I love having meetings with people who failed out of doing the job they're trying to tell me how to do

[@kerbolax]

They'll also always be the only ones wearing a suit in a casual office

[@RedShift5]

Can you make one about the SQL language please?

[@Bulkje]

Lol the mug isn't just taped over. Please do automation engineer!

[@Franchyze923]

🤣 this is hilarious

[@caleb-hess]

Can you make one about "Test Driven Development"?

[@mehoprelivoda]

Asks for an estimate and treats it like deadline, constantly change scope and add new stuff without new estimates and if its not respected team lacks selforganisation, commitment and responsibility

[@toofpastetool]

The more you use it, the more you realise it doesn't actually exist

[@TaqveemKhalid]

make waterfall look like scrum! 🤣🤣🤣

[@chaoticmasterpiece]

He looks like a young Johnny Depp.