INTJ | Worst Thing About Us

[@scarecrowsound8563]

INTJs are the definition of I know where I'm going and idc who comes with me

[@InternetLiJo]

Amen lmao

[@snowflakestarprincessakiko6013]

@Brett Wheeler I'm sure that all the INFJs and INTJs already know what you're saying, that is where being Introverted Intuitives comes in, even the goofy ENTPs should know this :). Although, ESTPs and ENTPs are probably all enjoying this chaos... Love you so much Devil Advocate Debating ENTPs! ~ Oh, how you guys and girls make life worth living :).

[@michaelc5386]

Or, "I know where I'm going and I only want one or two certain people with me, we're leaving at sunup with or without you"

[@kunai1362]

As an ENFP, I really like that vibe

[@lga.d3351]

In literally every little thing

[@jasoncampbell3955]

Hmmm.... Worst thing about being an INTJ is overthinking/analysis, trying to find meaning in banality, or the constant pressure of using time effectively.

[@vaper7753]

I think that those are the worst things as well

[@aidanwhunter]

Time is my enemy. Days should be 30 hours

[@Alex.Kalashnik]

@@aidanwhunter That is so true! Or at least 28!

[@TrinitaSR]

Over thinking yes. There is so much anxiety regarding being productive and trying to do all the things I want to do. 24 hours is just not enough.

[@ElodieN_INTJ_Typology_Insights]

Same struggle for me INFJ. Time is one of my favorite word/concept. Overthiking, Analyse, Time. In the last Final Fantasy 13, time least 26h. 30 would be great. I want to learn more and doing more things, and more sleep too.

[@mamu7976]

Hello Internet Friends INTJ- Worst Thing About Us: 1) Procrastination 2) Perfectionism 3) Workaholism Remedy Fi, Se. Thanks for the constant reminders! Still trying to change.

[@aplethoraofme2056]

Ma Mu interesting, do you follow CSJ? Lol

[@mamu7976]

@@aplethoraofme2056 Yes.

[@AnishBhola]

what's CSJ?

[@50shadesofcerakote]

oh for sure...

[@arturkvieira]

4) Existing

[@FreeWarrior0]

Human interaction is overrated..... I have achieved so many things in this lockdown its amazing!

[@InternetLiJo]

Haha yes! That is where I'm most productive as well.

[@danicleckley5404]

I began learning Russian and Polish.

[@zhxv2594]

@Prem Varun I actually have desire to meet some close friends to share thoughts lol

[@duskyracer8800]

As an INTP who is also in perpetual lockdown, I have achieved just as little as usual. :/ Its also really hot it makes me tired 😫

[@lga.d3351]

@@danicleckley5404 Polish? I didn't know people outside our country even consider learning this language

[@johnt.8205]

Finally I found my people! To be honest, the lockdown is where every INTJ strives. I became more productive when I disconnected from society.

[@user-en7cg3ve9u]

Me too. Applied for a job, had 4 interviews, got the job. Started the new job with great benefits. At the same time lost 10 pounds making me as small as I was 5 years ago. And read the whole Bible. What lockdown? P.s. I was also grateful for social distancing, I hate being touched.

[@kauffrau6764]

I wrote a book - my very first work of fiction. Would not have happened without the lockdown - gave me the time to let myself go inside my mind with no interruptions. Loved it! Now that the shutdown is basically over - I'm still staying in as much as possible. I'm still writing, but I'm into cooking now.

[@JReyesTbn46]

I fixed my diet and exercised every day because of lockdowns. I dropped 30lbs. I quit drinking. I got to educate myself on various things. I wanted it to last forever.

[@Chris-fn4df]

I almost had a breakdown when the lockdowns were on… because my job was not locked down.

[@sjevz]

Struggling to express empathy despite feeling it strongly. If someone makes me a meal, I say "it's very nice" when I mean what they would express as absolutely delicious. It's weird.

[@slugabug1]

I feel this! INFP here partnered with INTJ for over 3 years. Pretty much just had my feelings hurt the whole time. 🤣

[@sjevz]

@@slugabug1 uch us and feelings, just go by our actions and that will show how we feel more than our words

[@slugabug1]

Yeah, realized that later, but by then the damage already done? I don't know if that makes sense. I know more going into the next situation how to broach these personality differences.

[@Thinkerts]

Soooo trueeee

[@1chienandalou]

If I an entp actually slave and make a meal for you and you say it’s just “nice” you well may find it poured over your head. Because I don’t make a nice meal I make a phenomenal meal and I don’t just SE for anyone so you better make an effort to show thanks mfer!! I too am an NT type who struggles with compliments but I never not tried to show appreciation for a meal. That’s it! I guess what I mean is Not everyone gonna sit quiet and get feelings hurt like that INFP for years, you don’t appreciate someone they may not cook for you again! I’d eventually (pretty quick) take all my yummy goodness with me & go. Nice my ass. Lmao..i love INTJs but if you can’t learn to be less uptight and be a bit affectionate what’s the point? there will be others who can ;))

[@LiannaRepe]

My partner is an ESFP and I've been planning since Day 1 how we would get though this pandemic (ration food, supplies, indoor workouts, etc.) The whole time he said I was being paraniod and crazy and that I needed to just relax and now he's like "omg if you didn't plan all of this out we would've been screwed." Everyone thinks your hypefocused and crazy until everything that you planned for happens.

[@InternetLiJo]

Hahah yeah pretty much!

[@zgb3l]

My family said the same to me haha First few infected people in my country and i told my family: we should lock grandma up yknow She was superpissed at first but now we’re 3000 victims later in just a week and she’s feeling pretty smart about it

[@finite934]

Same here. I find it useful to view the infected as “zombies” to drive home the repercussions of getting infected, and it would probably be best to just take them out, to “stop the spread of infection”. We don’t generally own guns in my country but if we did, I would own several. Seriously, I’m just kidding, that was all a joke, please god don’t take it seriously 🙂. But seriously, they’ve got zombie written all over them 😛. All these people stockpiling toilet paper and in my region sweets and chocolate.... god....it’s the tinned stuff, and the frozen meat and fish, and dried rice, beans lentils in 2kg packs and the seeds for planting in the garden as a longer term solution. I just don’t get the toilet paper thing? A bbq and camping stove for when the electricity goes and I’m fine for 3 months with rationing.

[@ravindukumarapathirana1673]

Soo true. Couldnt agree anymore. ❤❤❤

[@PuzzleQodec]

The thing is that even if you're 'screwed', you know you'll be able to deal with it, exactly because you're that awesome INTJ. You don't have to fear a suboptimal situation, you know. - INFP

[@fleetingsynergy]

My INTJ best friend is like this. He goes into tunnel vision rabbit holes and it's so hard to get him to see that there's basic human needs he's missing lol Glad someone finally mentioned this! He can be so focused on his goals, he neglects everything else.

[@InternetLiJo]

Yes, that is the struggle! I'm sure as a friend you are able to help some :)

[@pegahm4239]

That's the best feeling ever. Going through hell to get what you want😁

[@Justforthelulz8]

Know the feeling

[@vishaltalwar5054]

I am so glad to find someone from my tribe. You express it so well. It is so funny, the way you talk about "human" things. I think, it is an INTJ thing. An INTJ always feels like an alien among others. It is confusing at first, being from the same species, and not being able to understand why other humans do some of the things they do. It makes INTJ feel they are someone else in a human body and are not human. Keep expressing yourself. Your insights are gold =).

[@InternetLiJo]

Thanks so much Vishal!

[@irenesantinelli2798]

As an INTJ, the fact that I isolate myself from reality whenever I have a project in mind, sometimes really scares me, because I also want a normal life

[@Donebycj]

You need that separation time to plan and mastermind an plot and pin point it but then it’s effective when we start to apply it 🎉

[@alexhendry2120]

INTJ: this is the worst thing about me Me, an ENFP: awesome, I stan

[@InternetLiJo]

Lmfaooooo hahahaha hahahaha idk why this made me laugh so hard

[@alexhendry2120]

@@InternetLiJo because it's true lmao. Love you guys 💕

[@عبدالله-ج6ز3ح]

Right why? Idk😂you re just awesome

[@zoozoomy88]

haha. I'm an ENFP too and I just totally agree with this comment😂The INTJs are so attractive.

[@allkindofshorts4940]

@@InternetLiJo because what you mention in this video are the things that we (ENFPs) really strive to be. i.e, being comfortable with the pressure, being workaholic, focused, perfectionism, etc. We do find things very admirable. How can be you, INTJs? 😢 haha

[@notionSlave]

INTJ's are good for thoughtful advice, but rarely for encouragement & acknowledgment of achievements & pats on the back. Feels like I'm asking a supercomputer, input/output. Input > dfakjfkjsfjsfjakjf waaaaaa 600000mph launch into space holy sht > some unique marvelous output, Any more questions human?

[@InternetLiJo]

Hahah damn 😂😂😂😩 this is so true

[@voiceofreason2771]

Lol, yep, thats me

[@noranems668]

I overcompensate bro like I don't feel celebratory but I force.

[@tomlathrop5382]

only those that have not worked on their integration...with effort the reward is the peace that is now earned and a greater ease in having others leave one alone without becoming labeled as mean..(now there will always be those that we can not train, but there are enough that makes the effort worthwhile)

[@deymi07]

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

[@lk6789]

As an older INTJ, life yets easier to manage as one gets older. You just need to take your own advice. On another note how is the isolation going for me it's great, feeling very free and relaxed.

[@InternetLiJo]

This is gold 🤎

[@ChristopherOrth]

Yeah, agree all the way!

[@Bgrosz1]

I like voluntary isolation, but not forced.

[@kauffrau6764]

oh yeah, loved it - now that it's basically over, still not going out much.

[@originalismisacrock166]

I found it like being on vacation, but I still got to do the fun parts of my job.

[@jonnyvelocity]

SO the thing you have to plan meticulously for and obsess over is making a phone call in 2 days, right?

[@concii888]

dont call me out like that

[@solideogloria007]

Yes

[@Donebycj]

Prettyyy much 😂😂😂 but if you’re great on the phones we have a perfect alignment for you 🎉

[@sericarose1828]

"There is a cost to every action you take or don't take." YES! The way I've always said it is "Everything has a price" which I worked out early in life and used so often my kids consider it my motto - which is sort of true. But what is interesting to me that that so few other people/types see this. Anyone else?

[@RialuCaos]

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. I think this law applies to more than just physics, though it is easiest to prove within the realm of physics.

[@sericarose1828]

@@RialuCaos True - but so try to explain to someone who is say ENFP.

[@MusicalInquisit]

@@RialuCaos you could state it economically: "There is always something you must give up, which has a cost, whether explicit or not. This comes from scarcity."

[@car0lm1k3]

@@MusicalInquisit and time is the most scarce resource of all

[@MusicalInquisit]

@@car0lm1k3 Believe it or not, in your Econ test, this is most likely one of the answers to "What is the opportunity cost of ______?" questions.

[@mac4398]

The evil villein archetype comes from non planners ... imagine living a happy go lucky life always getting by in the moment by skill or luck and how you feel and then meeting an INTJ master mind that has constructed a path that must be followed... AND the INTJ always seems to be right, but you can't understand how ... now imagine if that master mind turned against you. More than any other type, we have the potential for great acts of good or evil.

[@zgb3l]

oh THATS why my mil hates me lol

[@fbussier80]

Adrian from the Movie Watchmen

[@bigd7355]

No, it's INFJ which is most capable of great acts of good and evil because our thinking and planning is similar to the INTJ, but the INFJ understands people better and can actually influence people to do what we want, whereas the INTJ can create a master plan or system that's meant to be used for evil, the INFJ can do the same, and actually get people to go along with it. Think lone evil villain with his death ray, vs Hitler.

[@Sajotyn]

@@bigd7355 Yeah, and think what'd happen when two that NiDom will unite together I guess Hitler with death ray XD. But seriously the border is pretty thin, more I think about it more I can understand 8-personality model. As much as some INFJ can plan, scheme or think simmilar to INTJ, some INTJ also can understand, feel or relate to other people mind like INFJ. I think both types have natural predispositions to understand, manipulate, scheme and control.

[@lynnb2562]

@@zgb3l It's very likely that's the reason. I know mine hates me because she hates that I'm always right and she's not even though she's and esfj that thinks she is.

[@Coneman3]

The few INTJs I have ssen all seem to have kind of piercing eyes, a clarity and foucs to them. It comes across to me as a lack of worry about things the way a Feeler would. As an INFJ I think Feelers have a softer look to them. Anyone relate to this?

[@cherylbohlender7341]

Yes...INFJ's have a softer look their eyes, almost like a look of hungry fascination. As an INTJ I've been told about my eyes, I stare too much, I don't look in their eyes enough, I look intimidating, I look sad, I look serious...etc. Barely anyone can read my eyes properly. But when I'm focused...really focused...I can make a person look at me from across a crowded room. I can make a grown man run out of the room very fast when I'm angry. I also have an amazing poker face which leads some to believe I don't feel anything...which is why people poke at me hard because they think I don't feel pain. I feel like an animal in a zoo, some strange creature to be poked and prodded for a reaction. Live and let live!

[@ravindukumarapathirana1673]

Craterdigger, I relate to your opinion❤

[@i-..--..--..-i6985]

@craterdigger I get asked if I’m a cop at least once a week. Cops assume I’m a cop or a Fed all the time. When I ask why they think that they all just say because of the way I carry myself and look at people.

[@ElodieN_INTJ_Typology_Insights]

I confirm too, and I love this piercing eyes. Observe, focus, deep, void, don't care of the outside, know where I go and what I want, analyse, judge but will never tell it, I love theses deep mysterious eyes.

[@trixs90able]

@craterdigger i relate to this soooo much. Ive always worked in customer service, and a customer can be straight up yelling/cussing at me and I just stare at them silently. I get a kick out of people getting more mad by my lack of reaction. My former manager always laughed at how composed I can be. But my mom always taught me that the person that gets mad first, loses.

[@geebashiri3315]

Learning about being an INTJ and stumbling into this world on YT has changed my life sooo much! I finally feel normal knowing we have such similar experiences!

[@VortokMercadia]

"I have completely optimized this process..." "... at the expense of the other nine things in the overall goal. Dammit."

[@patrickmooney4135]

I wish I had this wisdom much earlier in life...understanding that "Life is the thing we should be focusing on." Well, I guess it's never too late. Thanks!

[@InternetLiJo]

Cheers Patrick :)

[@PenCapsandBandAids]

I’m very grateful to have happened across your channel. It’s refreshing and affirming to find a mature INTJ woman that understands and can articulate the same thoughts I have that no one around me seems to understand or care for. From one INTJ to another, thanks.

[@InternetLiJo]

My pleasure! Understanding = Everything

[@bojanalazicic-protic373]

Omg, shopping for outfit just freaks me out. I need to prepare mentally and I go every once in a while. On the other hand grocery shopping and buying new tools or furniture (things that are actually functional), that I adore... Weird 🤷‍♀️

[@InternetLiJo]

Lmao I relate. I hate shopping irl

[@tessabrantley3877]

I concur! I've declined going to functions just because of that. It's bad enough having to do either. But, both? I'd rather eat dirt!

[@KatanaKamisama]

As a man I just have multiple sets of the same exact clothes that I order online, and no one bats an eye. I imagine this would be more socially difficult for females. Good luck with that.

[@calyco2381]

@@KatanaKamisama yes, social standard has set unwritten rules for women clothing. I.e, women cant wear exact same clothes two day a row, except they are uniform.

[@lisafoster3494]

Having a minimalistic wardrobe of multiples of a few styles is my goal less thinking wasted on trivialities and social acceptance is not a high priority to me being authentic and efficient and competent matter more. After all society promotes duck lips, surface image for women etc..etc... Illogical nonsense!!!

[@mko-ai]

This was SO GOOD LiJo. I was diagnosed with Autism/Aspergers but I kept getting INTJ on these tests before the diagnosis. It was shocked that like, everything overlapped. This is actually one of the biggest.

[@jyll.7132]

That incredible focus is the hallmark of INTJ. It's so hard to tamp that down. It takes a lot of discipline to reign that in.

[@gracielagamboa4308]

I worked in a project for a year and a half and lost focus about everything else. Lack of sleep, lost weight, etc. When the project failed (because of things out of anyone´s control), I felt an intense feel of loss about both the project AND the normal, healthy life I should have led. Never again.

[@harperwalsh9041]

It's weird as an Intj I find working on projects and assignments far more easier to do than studying for an exam or test. When I'm doing a project I'm able to vision the goal and have the ability to execute and plan out the process of creating the project or assignment

[@jayrun4341]

yess so true. I don’t like studying because sometimes once I learnt something I find it cumbersome to revise and repeat it. I would rather do a project or learn something new.

[@tomdudar9863]

Oh my god Lindsay, I can relate.. This tunnel vision, 'one goal, smashing that goal, moving closer, NT' way of life has been my entire life and reality in the past few years... And however much I achieve, it's not enough... It's still not perfect.. And the worst thing is, when I look back at my past, I don't even like what I see.. I feel like I haven't really lived.. Sure, that intj flavour NT mode feels comfortable, but my happiest memories are the ones when I was completely out of that mode.. A date.. A weekend with a friend.. Etc.. As you said yourself, we have to realise that there's value in those other things..

[@revolutionfrommahbed4246]

I was curious to know where you were gonna go with this and yes - I agree 🤦🏼‍♀️. I’m an ENTP but my ex was an INTJ. His MO was to identify a problem/obstacle (on his own) spend days to weeks mulling over a “solution” and blindside me with “I’ve been thinking” and “I’ve decided” statements. Nothing was up for conversation or debate (imagine MY frustration 😂) and he’d just get really angry at me for wanting an actual discussion/ability to weigh in on any situation he had “solved” for. It was maddening 🤷🏼‍♀️.

[@InternetLiJo]

Ah I’m so sorry this was your experience. It’s a very distinct characteristic with us

[@slugabug1]

Yes! I feel this. Being shut out of the process. It sucks. :(

[@darianchristiandi1388]

The INTJ could easily enter the flow when working and learning but the drawback is they need rather big distraction to get out of the flow. If not, the time will elapse pretty fast (from morning into noon for example).

[@hanes2]

We think we are the best to manage this current health situation.

[@InternetLiJo]

Yeah I’m not too worried :)

[@christalphelps6186]

Yes! I have thoroughly enjoyed the isolation and the freedom to do the things I want to do. (I also forced myself to clean the house because I knew there would be no better time to do it than now...)

[@peterdentice5725]

It's just your everyday SNAFU. The SN hasn't changed, just what's AFU.

[@tmerema]

Does that make us trendy? Social distancing is so in right now, I’ve been doing it 40 years!

[@tessabrantley3877]

All I could think is...I'm going to bask in this being the only time that my children won't be bugging and telling me that I need to get out more. That is...after making a fresh batch of antiviral blend of essential oils, and natural hand sanitizer, for everyone. 🤓😛

[@reika707]

YES. There's no way to explain how much this can be an issue while studying a career. I was out of the world for almost literally 5 years which hurt my relationship with everyone while I didn't realize it, I didn't even percieve that time was passing since I was so focused on my... ladder. It's annoying because we have this as a confort zone that's both fulfilling and objectively effective, but it consumes every other aspect of our lives if we let it.

[@tessabrantley3877]

THAT IS EXACTLY what it is like!!! I was an accountant for decades. Not because I, particularly and necessarily, actually enjoyed it, but because I was exceptionally great at it. Had I actually learned about myself, after having tested as an INTJ with at least four official MBTI tests, through potential employers, I'd have probably steered clear of that profession. There was a week of closing, a week of preparing for closing, and about two weeks of entering data to prepare for preparing for closing. Twice a month I would literally put a sign, with tape going across the doorway of my office, during payroll, that read "If you want to get paid, do not talk to me"! 😳 I remember being confused as to why some people were offended by it. And, the worst paradoxical part is....I was a workaholic! On the upside, THIS worst part of being INTJ comes in quite VERY HANDY when taking on and fighting injustices for yourself and others, and for representing yourself in litigation. Aside from the fact that lawyers usual and typical intimidation tactics, of which typically work on others, don't faze ME in the least. And, it's kind of fun when you witness an attorney being stressed out by YOU, when you catch all of their illogical moves. So, it DOES have its benefits.

[@michilo200]

I've only recently come to really realize how important it is to get out of the NT hole and take a break every once in a while. In the past, whether if it's projects/issues in my personal life, I always tend to overthink and obsess over each and every possible outcome~ many of which are very unlikely to actually occur in real life. I think that getting out of that NT hole and doing something physical, like going on a walk, or cleaning up my workspace, or going out of my room and having a conversation with my friends helps me almost "reboot" my NT in a way, and redirects it to focus on aspects that truly matter practically.

[@InternetLiJo]

It's so important!

[@thepanthar]

The only bad thing about our type is that LiJo fakes being one of us and its ridiculous.

[@InternetLiJo]

Lol ok 👍🏻

[@AbbasAli-ib7lb]

first i know your comment was 2 years ago second the fact that she replied and didn't put a like on your comment aproves to me that she actually is third i think you're the one who fakes being intj fourth i know i shouldn't reply because this could be used against me as a proval that im not an intj but anyway i want to see that person dare to try and prove anything

[@Haannibal777]

Absolutely true, but you have only covered the half of it. Because we are so focus on this Thing, the intensity causes us to need to wind down at the end of the day or we will go crazy. During the wind down period, I don’t want to talk to anyone, nor do I want to do the simplest of task, not even opening letters. Assuming this Thing is somewhat of a big project, we start the next day hyper focus again. Yet at the end of the day do nothing. This hole we dig for ourselves gets deeper and deeper as friends and family are driven away.

[@Holliswoud]

Thanks so much! I just realized last night that the fact that I "have to" do quite notable energy management to plan a grocery shopping trip (or indeed any external activity) was not "normal", or rather, not the way most others experience such activity, and wondered if I was somewhat agoraphobic or something. Then today I see this, and realized that all of these issues have to do with external sensing, which is ... not my strong suit.🙂 So now I know that I'm not broken, it makes quite perfect sense, and it's just a "weak muscle", as it were. I am also becoming more convinced that I haven't been mistyped by the several online M-B tests and that I am actually an INTJ, since what you (and others) say makes so much sense to me on a deep level. So thanks, I appreciate you😃!

[@Holliswoud]

OMG, it's a cascade! So just got it that _of _*_course_* it's hard for somebody with prominent/dominant IN to: - focus their undivided attention on an external object/person; - accept the 'content' (if a person)/behavior (if an object i.e., 'this ladder is vibrating in an unstable manner') without (over-) analyzing and distracting one's attention back to IN; - meet your 'goal' (the purpose of the interaction with the person or object) successfully. I mean, are you _kidding_ ? Of course I have to plan that out, it's a massive energy sink! And that's perfectly normal! A weightlifter _trains_ to powerlift 450 pounds. A figureskater trains for _years_ to do a triple-axel. You don't just pull "hard stuff" out of your hat. So yeah, not broken, and now I've got something to strategize, to boot. Thank you for being (and thanks to YT for recommending this vid a year late 😉).

[@pineappleconroy]

I know you touched on it here, but I would really appreciate a deep dive video into the INTJ burnout. I’m in an INTJ Females facebook group and there was a post talking about our cycle of productivity getting interrupted by periods of, essentially, burnout where we can’t accomplish much of anything for a period of time. I was surprised to see how many of us experience this. We’re always supposed to be focused on the future, right? Getting things done, right? So I thought it was really odd that once I catch a break from busy busy busy, I can’t get myself to do much of anything. So I’d really appreciate tips on avoiding the INTJ-project-focus to burnout cycle

[@anastasiasongs]

I really love how eloquently you speak, your wordage makes me so happy to hear! I think I’m INFJ, but this Tunnel vision where I focused on “music business” in my earlier years, neglecting friendships for months to achieve and progress in my vision.

[@Mobiusquip]

As an INTJ I do agree with the extreme tunnel vision. I had to give a best man speech at my brothers wedding and I was nervous to the point of queazy for 4 months rewriting my speech a thousand times. Speech went great but I had a terrible time.

[@InternetLiJo]

Hah I can relate to that! Good job pulling it off though :)

[@richgroup2]

I wonder how come those are many INTJs who post comments, while this is my first one since 6 years of KZbin surfing. Really appreciate your channel though, this is truly a great one that force my lazy ass fingers to type something. And i think it is really important to support you since there are still many aliens wondering why they even born, questioning their existence and purpose. I think the age of silent learner was over for me. When it still takes 15 minutes for me to made this up, it is worth it. Warmest regards from Indonesian INTJ

[@melbeth79]

Thanks for making this because I have a friend who gets like this. For me, I often interpret it as her being cold and uncaring. I often find myself trying to phychanalyse the situation, and I try to understand how she can be so detached from what I feel is something she should take more seriously. She goes all in on ... (fill in the blank) and disappears for days and I'm like ??? Hello?? I've learned though that when she does this, its not me. I used to think, frig what did I do? We were talking great, then ghost city. Now I know it's just this intense zone that apparently blocks out everything else in a way my Fi/Ne just can't really understand.

[@Ragnarok540]

I think the key is self awareness.

[@n.j.1894]

I am becoming more self aware, but I don't know if I like it. I'd be analyzing and paying attention to my every move, catch myself staring deep in thought, or force myself to focus when I'm not feeling like it.. just let me be!!

[@pokinchan459]

This was so relatable it gave me the chills down my cheeks a few time throughout this short video. It made me look back to comments family members had made about me and realize it was my personality. Glad that you are balancing and it sounds like you found relief. All the the Best!

[@josephmarch7142]

This has been one of the most difficult things to overcome. I've literally put my life on hold to achieve whatever process my Ni mind comes up with. It was do everything to get to that point. It was borderline fanaticism. It literally could be just going to the supermarket. But I would tunnel in. It would be this sequence of events that would be perfectly executed, and has to be! But any interruption of that? Ooof. Woe be that thing/person/event. The thing that I'm really good at, is also the thing that also can hold me back in really fulfilling parts of my life.

[@kb-ih7ni]

Like everything, literally everything, is a fixed sequence of tasks that should be done my particular way because it’s the only way that makes sense to me, lol yes.

[@sdsloveslife]

Thank you LiJo for this. INTJ having a lot of problems with the worst part of being an INTJ and this helps me understand myself and start to change by incorporating more humanistic parts to my life. At times I’m scared that being an INTJ will mean I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.

[@ixxx3542]

I'm an INTJ, and all of this is right and so accurate.

[@rickcamps7769]

This could not be said any better, love the way You put this.

[@Encryptus1]

My father calls it being a freight train without brakes. It pushes aside everything in it's path.

[@InternetLiJo]

Very true way to say it!

[@jerusalem4492]

The ridiculous thing about the ladder analogy is that the “ladder” itself could very well be having to climb a literal ladder.

[@InternetLiJo]

Lmao... its the damn truth.

[@Cassiel75]

snakes and ladders was the original boardgame /-It is pointless, arbitrary and stupid /-but it is fair

[@haildamage6247]

Even at your worst you are better than most

[@ChristopherOrth]

Great stuff! When you talked at the end about being uncomfortable doing some things other people do... yeah... wow... that was a huge one for me for a long time until I finally understood how that was working in myself. Personal example... sitting for three hours in a restaurant listening to people talk about food they had eaten at some other meal! Uggg! I felt my life literally draining away. This is super draining for me, and not at all restorative. So I just stopped doing those things, and started re-framing these invitations from people into something that was more restorative for me. Instead of a long boring night out for dinner, I would instead set up a shorter lunch somewhere at or near where I wanted to go spend some alone time. One hour with friends, then a solo walk around the marina. This gave me more incentive to leave my own personal projects focus, gave me some balance from people stimulation, but also a personal treat at the same time. Over time I figured out some rules for myself (yeah, imagine that, an INTJ with personal rules for social interactions! haha) like, "never go to a family event without a car or means to leave at any time", and "instead of sit around at someone's house visits, tell these people to meet me at a museum so I have something to stimulate my brain while we visit". I feel totally ok saying no to things that don't add some value for all involved. I don't go to loud sports bars, for example. I don't camp. Hard stop. The people who love you will appreciate the time with you, and gradually begin to realize that all time with you is valuable for them too.

[@InternetLiJo]

I love the idea of restorative re-framing!! Great insight Christopher :)

[@terrajennings8172]

This is so amazing. I didn't think there was other people who struggled with this. My constant fight in the last two years has been trying to find balance. But then also struggling with how much I'm not being as productive with my time because I need to allow the distractions in my life so my health and relationships don't fall apart. I feel constantly torn.

[@juanpabloramirez8396]

The description provided is accurate and fits this INTJ-A here. I would only add a couple of things: 1. It's not just oneself finding hard to let go of something that works... the environment, especially at work, hugely reinforces me going through "the process", finding solutions where others have failed and consistently realizing outstanding achievements... so it is hard to quit or even want to quit doing things my way, and 2. While "balance" in general is an appealing idea, I think it must also be considered what stage of life one's in, what one's goals are at the moment and what each and every one values...not everyone's scale is the same... I find my type very convenient and am very happy with it.

[@zacariahrangel398]

Totally agree, when I was going to have my final thesis evaluation, i also had a conference of metabolic diseases. Everyone said I seem calm and collected, but in my head was thinking all the different questions and things that people can ask me and all the information that i had to transmit. I barely slept for a week.

[@Alyssav90]

I'm an INFJ and this is very good advice, I've been struggling with this a lot lately. Thank you, it's a relief to listen to you, sometimes I just feel like the only one like this.

[@InternetLiJo]

Glad it resonated with you Alyssa :)

[@troywesterbur706]

For me i have to give up perfection to get everything done. I have to prioritize what needs to be perfect and what just needs to be done. As for real world it very much is the real world maybe not anyone else's but its my real world and i have learned to except my world is different from yours and everyone is different as well. So i don't bother with trying to fit in. Its not my problem if i don't. I am not going to be fake so other people are comfortable. With that i learned to keep my mouth shut and not say what I think most of the time. Because most of the time people want sympathy or something and i have trouble giving it.

[@InternetLiJo]

Yep, I relate to this very much Troy.

[@Delimon007]

I think I'd rather be overprepared than to think of the future and forget about the present, preparing for something that may or may not happen isn't exactly great imo because things can change and you live in the here and now. Though I've had times where I've been so focused on things that I was willing to sacrifice things that I should not have to achieve those goals. This is extremely unhealthy and I know any INJ has experienced this. It's really stupid and illogical, really stupid. Would be nice if we could realize that.

[@AndeAndrea]

Yes. 2:35 Same, I’ve had many people tell me they don’t think they could get me excited over anything & also comment on my incredible focus. Even currently so many people in the world are freaking out, a number of INTJ’s I know in Se grips or running, but I already have a plan recalibrated for the next year so it’s fine.

[@InternetLiJo]

Hahah yep the recalibration always wins!

[@pruje]

Great video. I'm an INFJ and a lot of this still resonated with me. Ni tunnel-vision is something I am very familiar with. The main difference between our types is the feeler focus. And for that reason, my tunnel vision is more chaotic than an INTJs would be (one of the reasons I like INTJs). Your thinking function is higher in your stack than mine is, and you will not be impaired by the feelings of other people in your quest towards your goal. I won't be as organized or methodical as an INTJ, but I will be every bit as relentless. Once I am focused on a goal, and if I believe that goal is actually achievable, I will make it happen or kill myself trying. The only thing that will stop me is if my progress risks hurting people (even emotionally).

[@InternetLiJo]

Aren't the functions amazing!!

[@mkclovee4791]

Great explanation and breakdown of the mastermind and the focus of INTJ, I have been waiting a long time to hear an explanation like this, as INTJ are so hard to understand in this aspect. - INFP

[@Elizabeth-nk1hx]

I’m an INTJ pastor who’s starting a church. I’m in my Christian Ministry program for my Bachelors and they had us take the Brigg Meyers assessment... all of the problems I was finding with starting my church came into startling focus. First, I’m 99% introverted... a problem when your vocation is talking to... people. Then I realized that I was struggling with showing the greater plan to this church I am starting. I have used my architect mind to build a highly efficient and socially valuable church but I am painfully introverted and can’t get other personality types to follow the master plan of my church... Lindsey, you’re helping me out so much with your videos. Once I learned about my type and how it was impeding my ability to bring the love of God to others, I decided to over learn about it so I could get out of God’s way.

[@InternetLiJo]

So glad you made it to my channel!

[@BlueMarsh27]

This is so true! It still happens to me, but I’m also trying to be more balanced. I think the best way to achieve balance is by reminding ourselves that the final goal is to be happy. When I remember that, it helps me disconnect a bit to go out for a walk, read a book, talk to s friend or something. I agree that’s definitely our greatest weakness. We can become too intense and forget we’re humans! Great video, keep it up!

[@Zen36977]

Spot on!!! I annoy myself over preparing for everything. Tunnel vision. All of it. Thank you!

[@okwatever3582]

It is so true to balance things out. Over high school, I’ve learned to just take a walk in the woods to simply let my brain rest from all the workload before getting back into it instead of working on it nonstop.

[@aaronsjones5887]

I have definitely alienated friends and secluded myself because of an obsessive compulsion to plan for every variable. It comes out with a vengeance when I'm preparing for a backpacking trip. Thank you for pointing out the discomfort, I have been using it to let me know that's where I need to be within reason.

[@alejandrapineda3300]

I have to think prior before going to a restaurant or the damn store at the corner if I am starving. I have to close my eyes in order to see all scenarios and decide which one is the less uncomfortable. This means I am still starving but my mind is so busy.

[@cuemonga]

This has been my biggest struggle in life. I focus so much on what I'm doing that I ignore everything and everybody else. I don't have a balance. I don't know how to. I try, but I get anxious. If I have to break the process of the perfectly well-structured work that I'm doing just to go and have a coffee with a friend, I get anxious. I get annoyed. I hate it. I never show it, though, I have managed to learn how to be pretty decent in social situations although it exhausts me, just for the sake of not losing my friends. Not that they wouldn't understand me being away for some time, but it's just that I'm 99% of the time already away, so I have to keep coming up with excuses and at some point they'll just stop trying to reach me and I'll get upset and blame myself. That's why I spent my whole adolescence showing everyone how I don't care about them and don't want them around and being a bitch. Truth is that I do care about them and I want them around, but... just when I want to, just when I can give them some of my precious time. But I love them so much. The way I show them that is by listening to them when they need someone to listen to their problems and help them out. But just regular social interaction on a daily basis is not my thing.

[@emilysundquist270]

For me, being an INTJ with ADHD, I already have trouble keeping focused, so if I get into that mode of hyper focus, I have to stay in that mode as long as it lasts or else it won't happen again and I won't get done what I need to get done

[@mattk.d.1794]

Very true! Sometimes I even ignore my own bladder because I'm so focused on figuring out something until I really have to go!

[@Sarcho93]

You're able to explain things so deeply and accurate in a way that I haven't even been fully aware of yet myself! But it makes so much so sense to why I feel the way I do in certain situations and not many people get me when I feel my frustrations.

[@anielyantra1]

The INTJ 'process' is borderline OCD and 'on the spectrum'. The only difference is it is insanely coherent, unlike the schizoid part of OCD. NASA ground control have thought out their mission possibilities a lot like an INTJ normally does. Chess masters use the same kind of thinking. I find my biggest fault is in not trusting my hyper planned decisions. I get conformation my planning is perfect even years after.

[@lisafoster3494]

So relate to this... Get so hyper focused on goals that I stress myself out... My Infp daughters favorite saying is “Just Breathe”. She encourages me to go take a break. And now that I think about it I have another person in my life telling me to “Let it go Elsa”. Just realized I must come off as really intensely focused. So I would agree balance. Thanks for your Insights!

[@InternetLiJo]

Thanks Lisa!

[@jonathansmall4969]

You touch on something really important: In order to get that balance in life, we have to be comfortable sacrificing some of that end result quality. aka we have to be comfortable with imperfection in the result. I find that it's often difficult to do this because these "perfect" results often bring so much positivity in other areas. It is definitely a balance. Thanks, this was a very insightful video.

[@jeanl2570]

I completely agree with the intensity and consistency...it’s also very stressful. I think this is what’s keeping me from being more chill to get prego with my substance. I also am learning how to relax. Thanks for the video!

[@okwatever3582]

Tunnel vision and the sense of “impossible to pull myself out from this ‘processing of information’ before a ‘big event’” sometimes drowns me and completely separates me from human interaction even when someone is asking to just pick up a lunch box in my yard.

[@seleneoftheheavens]

I can attest to this. I actually didn't sleep for 48 hours in order to finish a project to adhere to my standards. People think it's great and the output is flawless but the toll it had on me is... well now my sleep cycle is messed up. I am still trying to recover. I just get obsessed about what I am doing and need to do it well. People have no idea how much work it takes and how it burns us out most times.

[@i-..--..--..-i6985]

What is this “Sleep Cycle” that you speak of? 🤣

[@seleneoftheheavens]

@@i-..--..--..-i6985 It's a little complicated to explain on this comment tag. Just look it up on the internet.It's always good to learn about something new anyway. Blessings.

[@syebethel]

I disagree.... I don't think INTJs need to be more balanced. This personality type is what makes things happen in this world, not just for the individual, but the world. I find I'm not very effective in my own life when I try to "go out" or "achieve balance"; then I have to apply extra effort to get back to myself. The balance in life naturally occurs BECAUSE we're different personalities co-existing. You're absolutely correct in saying others are more at peace after an INTJ plans it all out; other personalities aren't able to be so thorough, so INTJs NEED to be that.

[@InternetLiJo]

Right, but just because we are achieving balance doesn't mean we won't be doing those things. We will always do the things we are good at - we can't help it! My point is in the value of expanding the mind so we have the tools to leverage in any situation.

[@syebethel]

Expand/ improve if you need to, but I'm INTJ 🤷‍♀️

[@ravindukumarapathirana1673]

This explanation is so satisfying. I relate a lot to your points. Especially @3:17 ❤

[@InternetLiJo]

Ah thank's so much!

[@jerryolgrist5605]

I have similar processes of planning before climbing trees that are difficult removals. One time, I freaked a client out by showing up the day before and staring at their tree for a couple hours...just thinking how I wanted to take it down the next day.

[@JJ-rp2df]

Fellow INTJ insights and experience really help to validate our self awareness I find. Seems relationships, myopia and self sabotage like procrastination can keep frustrating even our best executed ideas if we can't introspect.

[@Acumen928]

INTPs WISH in their wildest dreams to have such focus. But INTPs are also proud to have mind -malleability in embracing different views/paths and seeing a new way after having considered all the views/paths (which takes time and is exhausting). - From an INTP.

[@JonathanLink-i6q]

Ni can use imagination to play out all the variables to get the best way quickly.

[@1tempy]

To prepare for and expect the unexpected scenarios from beginning to end is the blessing and the curse. To see little to no value in the frivolous interplay between people to illicit positive emotional connection when mutual benefit should be enough is logical. All people interact with each other and the world for purely personal gain to think otherwise is just wishful thinking. Good video. Thank you for your efforts.

[@anonygent]

Older INTJ. What I have noticed is that none of the things I have planned for actually happen, while one or more things I didn't plan for actually do happen. People in particular end up not doing what I expected them to do.

[@Alazsel]

Yeah I really do feel for intj’s but don’t know what to do to help them. I have a general idea of what they’re thinking but can’t directly assist them and have to take a roundabout way to offer them help. Hope you guys keep being outstanding humans!!

[@t5396]

Why are you thinking about helping INTJs?

[@Alazsel]

@@t5396 Are you asking what benefit/motivation does it bring me? I guess none. But if I had to say one, I have good faith in their actions that I want to support them. Which probably doesn't help...

[@Alex.Kalashnik]

Wow. So true! I have to mentally prepare myself to do basic human tasks, like getting a haircut or getting my car services.

[@ChrisReher]

Geez, so true. I want to put up a shade sale in the garden. It will take some McGuyvering because of where I have to attach it. I bought additional hardware, rope, and even a wall-mounted flagpole hanger and a length of PVC pipe to make it fit. Now I'm procrastinating on carrying out my clever plan because I don't want the neighbors to see me putz around with all this and not have it work perfectly.

[@rlrlhyatt]

Lijo, good description. At age 71, and retired, I can say for certain I went through what you describe. Later in my career I would say "I have to do this thing. I will go to your desk in 30 minutes." And then I did... This helped others perceive me as working and yet able to step away.

[@neilshepherd1904]

Hi Lindsay. Sometimes we try so hard to fit our type/stereotype, reality can become a lower priority. Just putting it out there. Peace.

[@InternetLiJo]

I agree Neil!

[@CorneliaIndoorCyclingVideo]

Hi, I personally think this has to do with strong anxiety due to perfectionism, ... possibly intjs do have a tendency in that direction but I don't think they are specific intj traits.

[@stylishemerald3181]

More likely to be in turbulent category. I suffer on that sometimes.

[@finite934]

Ahhh shit... 46 yr old just recently started getting anxiety problems. Think I’m probably intj but sometimes think it might be infj... difficult to really know, but I relate wholeheartedly to the perfectionist thing. My current hobby project and goal has been going for 4 years, but 13 yrs in total with less intense focus, and I’m 1-2 years away from goal. 9 hrs minimum a week spent on it outside of work/family life, and I’m starting to feel the strain of trying to achieve goal, but I’m so laser focused on achieving it, that I spend a lot of time thinking about it. I suppose that some goals become such a strain and have such a negative impact on the rest of life that you have to at some point re-evaluate if the end goal is really worth it to you. The risk is that things go too far before you’re finally willing to say enough.

[@Beyondflix]

Trying to become more social. I'm NiFi all the time and that shit does NOT make me happy

[@jays7259]

It pisses me off because my ESFP friend literally just does whatever comes her way and ends up perfectly fine in the end or ..does she ? Either way the things she want always get done and if they don’t she easily moves on to the next thing.

[@vivid4182]

wow as an INTJ I totally feels what you say sometimes I lose balance in my life and it’s fine by me cuz I was like this all my life but it’s hard for people around me

[@justanothersherlockian7058]

INTJ here! I'm 14 and my mom is wondering whether we should move to another city or not, and she's asking me which I prefer. I told her I have no attachments to either of them, which is true. No friends, no relationships, and my dream job (private investigator) can be done anywhere. Fellow INTJs, don't you find it SO FREEING when you can do whatever you want/go wherever you want? My mom doesn't agree with me, saying that people need people, so I told her: when I'm older, I will be able to do anything. Ties "tie" me down.

[@hnanetoo]

The worst thing about being an INTJ is being prisoners in our own minds ..and it really gets lonely there in our brain even if we’re surrounded by our families or close friends…

[@robgoodsight6216]

Tunnel vision is not always good. Yes there are some instances where it is expected to work for specific tasks. I personally learnt to take things on the lighter side...because I chose to. My balance is more important, and actually it gives me more energy and time to discovers more "the things" 😊

[@jphillips5088]

I love your videos. I am intp and have many intj in my life, one being my son. I often advise my son to maintain balance in his life, let's go outside for a walk or bike ride, explore the world e.t.c. thanks for confirming we need this and he needs it.

[@Stephanie-yw2xk]

In 2018 I was overthinking about the future so much I gave myself social anxiety and worsened my depression, Im still recovering from it, but recently, with covid ive found the dread of a future after this overwhelming and I have to figure out what that future is going to look like. My head hurts.

[@a.j.shileikis4456]

These videos are great! Thanks again for sharing!

[@InternetLiJo]

Thank you 🖤

[@JeffreyWillis800]

When my wife of 20 years was dying after just turning 40, from a sudden and aggressive stage 4 breast cancer diagnosed out of the blue, I was incredibly focused on doing everything I could to save her, even though she died 5 months after diagnosis, and left me and our 5 year old son behind. But she sent me on some random errands, and so now I wonder if she did it to break me up from my intense focus on keeping her alive, my mission to keep her alive, which ultimately failed miserably. Thanks for this video.

[@cyber.shahriar1]

INTJs don't have hearts? The moment 3:30 Lindsay said it is psychotic, I thought of what I was doing for my girlfriend. I loved her but she ignored me. I painted a painting of her face but in an imaginary environment that I created in my mind. The psychotic part is that I painted 23:30 hours long every day for over a month and this 30 minutes off wasn't quite for sleeping. I thought, cried and suffered. The fact that I was a refugee in a refugee camp with no civil rights literary ruined me. Every second I was thinking it over. Like how did we get there? Why did this happen? What was the way to win her heart again. No family, no friends, nowhere to go, no distractions at all. Just thinking and thinking and thinking. I never understood the reason we broke up and I never recovered fully to this day after five years. This is the worst part of being an INTJ. Failure, an unsettled problem, a mystery I know I will never get it over no matter how hard I try.