Introverted Guy Turns Boring Conversation Into A Party Invitation - Episode #30

[@IndyIndie59]

I think I am a natural conversationalist. Wherever I go I manage to strike up conversations with strangers, and generally end up learning their life history by the time we say goodbye. Of course it might also help that I am an anaesthetic nurse so I have learned to talk a lot to strangers in order to keep them from stressing about the operation they are about to have.

[@chefray7066]

Indy Indie what kind of questions do you ask at first to get people to start talking about a lot more stuff and opening up more, and what do you say to start the conversation?

[@CodaBroda]

Another amazing video btw, I've learned so much from your channel! Very unique doing more hands on stuff like this, keep up the incredible work!

[@Opodyopsis]

He is very lucky that he got this far... ignored the other girls, which means they feel uncomfortable, and the girl feels like she's ignoring her friends... He's lucky that they were nice and instead of pealing her away, they come and talk... They probably knew she needed to get laid

[@rotierender_lurch]

This is not your regular club night.

[@valentinag.7633]

you're stupid.

[@pepa007]

LOL that was maybe the most awkward approach and conversation start ever :D But I guess the moral of the story is it doesn't really matter that much :-)

[@YourCharismaCoach]

Josef Richter Good spot! That is indeed the moral here!

[@Sepharite]

He wasn't really captivating, but he seemed genuinely nice and interested/interesting. That's what I think is important - showing that you actually care about the person you're talking to, and throwing back statements acknowledging that you're listening - in subtle but perhaps sometimes aggresive manners.

[@Wib0]

Have paused the video, cause just now I laughed so hard at 00:43, the asian kid stumbling down the stairs while filming with his tablet.. Sorry, will continue video now.

[@cake6103]

Just watched it over, now I'm replaying it like 5 times xD

[@peterpitcard]

hahaha

[@YourCharismaCoach]

Yes, the idea here was to demonstrate that if you push yourself to talk to people when you're not in the mood, and still get a great response, imagine what you can do when you're feeling ace!

[@alanpaton3916]

Great video. Nice and relaxed. I would have been really agitated if ppl started talking a foreign language while I was sitting there, but like you say. relax, you've either made a good impression or not so don't worry about it.

[@25tulsi]

It's a friendly, non threatening way of picking up a woman. And he doesn't offer to show them around instead offers recommendations... he's pleasant and doesn't ask for their name or number till they are completely comfortable. Doesn't use any cheesy pick up lines either.

[@VasileSurdu]

this is good if you want to have conversations with people.. but man when you talk with beautiful girls and you like them, you have to have that 'sexual vibe' etc.. in this video you seem like a 'nice guy'.. just a friend.. if you want to meet girls you have to change your conversations and be more sexual.. imagine if you went with them to the party.. you would only be there as a friend .. instead of trying to hook with them x) anyways good video man.. good for getting out of the confort zone..

[@kadenthedolphin1607]

the guy in the back that tripped at 0:45

[@YourCharismaCoach]

Thanks, though the purpose of this video is to show how you can walk up and start conversations with anybody, regardless of how you feel internally.

[@SamThomasDavies]

This is an aweosme video Marcus; it's nice to see it's possible to start conversations with women and not try to pick them up. I think some people have overlooked the purpose of this video.

[@richterribera4483]

Sam Thomas Davies yeah true that

[@studentbuilt1052]

I feel its comparatively easier to talk to a tourist. I would like see you talk to a local and teach us. The locals generally know everything that we know. The country where i live.,its just the locals with a rare tourist once in a while

[@YourCharismaCoach]

Most of the people I speak to in my videos are locals.

[@CodaBroda]

0:42 Look at the guy with the book in the background, nearly trips down the stairs xD

[@YourCharismaCoach]

Just be open about it. If I'd said I was out for a walk it wouldn't have changed the dynamic of the conversation at all.

[@otamanlvhs]

You're right.Marcus is trying to show how to have nice small talk with random people which is extremely useful but not so much with women.Women like to be teased.People who know how to tease and tell funny stories usually have no problem with women.

[@julianparra9552]

BRILLIANT! Awesome video :)

[@TheAngelofvengance]

a party invite seems more like a punishment really

[@adamwillis6975]

I recently worked in a place which was full of eastern european people and a lot of them were attractive young women. As an introvert i have a relative amount of confidence in social settings but i have a slight speech impediment which adds to the inability sometimes to strike up conversations. In my younger years i was often mute around people and told "wow, aren't you quiet". But when i watched this guy with this woman, it reminded me of the few occassions i tried to talk to these women, one in particular who i really found attractive, but like here she couldn't talk much english and it heightened the lack of conversation because like this guy, he was talking and the girl couldn't understand much of what he was saying, and because how she is trying to speak in english but not very well, makes the whole thing extremely awkward and for an introvert, a nightmare. I have not been a great success with women over the years, partly due to personal circumstances depriving me of that. I found that whenever i did get into a conversation with a girl, just being myself and not being afraid of being rejected taught me to talk to women like i was going have a normal conversation with anyone. Just because she is attractive and you want her, does not mean you shouldn't treat her like a human being. She is no more or less than you and this must be remembered. It's no so much confidence that women respond to, but genuineness, kindness and forbearance. Take any ideas of sex etc out of the equation before and during and realise, she is a woman. Like i said, a human being. And one thing more. Eye contact is ESSENTIAL! Shifty eyes and the inability to interact that way breaks an all important connection. If she breaks eye contact she is not interested but nonetheless, keep the conversation going. Unless she is up her own backside and walks away, but, what have you lost? Nothing. Learn not to take things personal and you will do fine! This all had a positive effect on the woman i'd be speaking to because to resort to using cliche methods can repel a girl from wanting that interaction because it is too scripted, methodical, obvious and deceptive because you are trying to be someone or something you're not! Do you really want to portray a false persona? Because if you end up seeing her afterwards you will end up being yourself and she'll see that the guy she met initially is not the same guy she has started seeing. And believe me, this is a very common problem. If she sees that you are not invasive and not trying it on with pre-scripted feigned rubbish she'll warm to you a lot better but i think that's more for the girls who prefer that kind of approach and don't like all that drivel. Let's face it, most people are like that in any situation, male or female, so it's always best not to put on a mask. The pre-determined intention seems to raise that nervous tension and floods of useless thoughts and doubts which in my experience is a recipe for doom. It adds fear and fear clouds judgement and overall the ability to think, be calm and rationalise, which again dooms the ability to think on the spot when maintaining a conversation. It also enables you to be humourous and not constantly assessing everything by a set criteria because this makes you think TOO much, becoming FAR TOO self aware instead of just going with the flow, interacting with her and what she is saying and doing physically in response. I'm far from an expert but personally i hate small talk, but sometimes it is necessary in very small doses to interact and spark up a more deep conversation.

[@YourCharismaCoach]

+adam willis Thank you for sharing your perspective and experiences Adam. Small talk is one facilitator of making people feel comfortable. Interestingly, it has for more to do with being present in the conversation than what is actually discussed!

[@sevensolaris]

Try this kind of polite conversation with American girls and see how far it gets you.

[@YourCharismaCoach]

Very far, actually.

[@silvergrey9728]

can someone translate what the girls said?

[@tronic4861]

Jesus...if I could do that , that confidence tho

[@YourCharismaCoach]

You can learn! I had to. Fortunately, I've distilled it all down and made it easy. Come to a training and have all the confidence you need installed right in.

[@DerZeppterdesAldi]

12:54 Its like she is looking straight into our souls thinking: Fucking Loosers.

[@alexishikula]

What skills??? The biggest thing is the "just do it" factor.

[@petter1396]

Heyyy dude!!! come on..... Most of South America speaks Spanish!!! And guess what? Argentina is in South America

[@valentinag.7633]

he didn't say it wasn't

[@unlimitedprogress3882]

Idk if it's just me, but I find it completely crazy and ridiculous that we're in a time where guys have trouble just talking to people ..without other sociable people having to make it look like some type of "skill" ... Weirdddd.... Probably because im from nyc and we do this all the time growing up since a young age

[@valentinag.7633]

It happens all around the world with introverts and shy people. Even people on NYC are shy, you just don't notice.

[@unlimitedprogress3882]

+Valentina G. You are right. But surely it's better to go out and experience then try to come to a video and learn lol. You cant teach someone how not to be shy.

[@devvv4616]

if it was THAT easy no one will stay shy. Its hard for naturally social people to understand whats happening inside the mind of shy people.

[@YourCharismaCoach]

It is that easy. The hard part is what is happening in the mind, which is where the real battle takes place.

[@Brancovtn65]

I wish this weren't the case, but unfortunately, it's what happens when severe early childhood and young adulthood trauma is never dealt with.

[@raczyk]

What if you are actually alone? is that somehitng to hide, or just be open about it?

[@hgsbrodi]

haha marcus, i´m from argentina as well, what a coincidence!

[@spotserafin]

That was kind of forced, but gettin out of your confort zone, i think thats what most matters.

[@thenewjord50]

Sebastián J how forced? i admit it was awkward to deal with people with language barriers but he made it to the point she's interested of him

[@YourCharismaCoach]

Don't beat me up!

[@gurungoracle]

You're good.

[@journalofseduction4959]

Criticism moment: This is not charisma. If you want to know who was charismatic, then look no further than the great leaders such as JFK, RFK, MLK etc. Charisma is boldness and leadership but the most important ingredient is the ability to persuade people to your cause. As a charismatic person you carry an aura around you, like JFK's aura of Camelot. It requires a following of people who help you, because you help them, show charisma. It's a result of feedback from your followers who believe in you. I would say, in my own opinion, this is really just social ease and extroversion which are good qualities in and of themselves. Turning an introvert into an extrovert.

[@YourCharismaCoach]

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. My motivation for creating a video like this was to highlight the issue of calibration. I was noticing that many students try too hard to create a desired outcome. The excessive effort becomes counterproductive to their goal. The aim here was to show that you can also turn the dial of emotional expressivity and engagement right down and still create interesting outcomes. I believe the happy balance is somewhere in between.

[@journalofseduction4959]

Yes, it's true. It needs to come naturally and apparently with little effort. I guess, they need to understand what is charming and charismatic about themselves, first, before trying to show charisma.

[@Sean-rawlins]

3:00

[@daimacku]

Wow! Do you really british people need instructions to talk each other?

[@valentinag.7633]

it's not only British people.

[@CandleClose]

English is not my first language so i have a hard time watching the video and read the annotations at the same time. Stop doing that... grrrrhhh