Is Being Too Confident a Turnoff For Women?

Got this question the other day from a subscriber that wanted some feedback on how to look like less of a player...
Hey man. What I'm going to tell you is not because I want to show off. It would be cool if you could do a video about this, because most of your videos are about insecure guys who don't know how to get women. I am a guy who takes care of his looks well, is high educated, has cool stuff that ladies like (money) and has lots of women. I am really confident and smooth when I'm talking with women, because I do that a lot. I like to have sex with women and in my opinion that's completely normal. Sometimes though, the friends of the lady I'm talking to are telling her that I'm a player, and then she kinda avoids me. They tell her ''Look how cool and confident he is when he talks with you, you're probably number 200 for him.'' Then I heard someone saying that if you are too good and confident around women, they will think that you've done it a lot and they will not trust you. So my question is: do you think that being too confident and being too smooth is a turnoff for women? And your opinion about this topic please?Because honestly, in my opinion it feels like the friends of the girls are not 'protecting' her, but are just jealous.
If you decide to make a video about it, you can include my name (just my first name).

[@dh12.]

being over confident is only a problem if she can't find any vulnerabilities in your personality.

[@festernassociates]

absolutely... thats the problem i have when i start trying to decide... do i stay or go... i've had more than my share of issues... i'm quite well in comparison to my past... sometimes the 19 year old with no baggage looks so much better... then the question comes - am i reading too much into things? am I not giving enough space? I know this much... the grass is usually not greener... not so much anyway... i mean... usually its like... XYZ is so much better and so awesome... but then A through W is all fucked up... then you're like... well geez... the last one had ABC&D together... She was just fucked up from E to Z... lol

[@joeninety4740]

And she will.

[@annmitchell4663]

I think many women see over confidence and trying to be too 'smooth' as quite false, theres a fine line between confidence and arrogance, just as men dont like the girls who really love themselves too much and just expect to be noticed.

[@4Mikes4Mindset4]

The upside of burden of performance is working shit out

[@PremiumFuelOnly]

Ive seen cases where a woman was turned off by confidence and assertiveness while another woman in the same room was laughing and smiling. So the answer is, it depends on the woman.

[@davidm2823]

Premium fuel only totally

[@valuetainer3437]

Premium fuel only spot on

[@jodynomite0075]

What kind of answer is that? Well what kind of woman is that? How would I know depending of which kind of woman.? I ain't going to waste my time going from woman to woman and ask each one if she is cool with my confidence... Ugh, oh well.. Just bang em and go to the next.. Who cares..!😄

[@jplatter6629]

I just had a similar conversation, and here's what I heard: Being a know-it-all, and talking about yourself too much, is a turn off. It looks like you are trying to show off or trying to prove something. Confident, well-established men have NOTHING to prove- they KNOW they're doing well. I don't think you can be too confident per se, but make sure you aren't overfocused on YOURSELF. Focus on her- act like she's great, and you enjoy talking to her and learning about her life. THAT will win them over. :)

[@Darth_Bateman]

I feel like when you act like a cocky dbag, you aren't really doing anything wrong. . . Women are looking for reasons not to like you already, but to me it means most of them have made up their minds about you already. Who cares if some are turned off by confidence? They arent turned off by confidence, they fear it. Because if you're confident then she won't have power. Keep the ball moving and keep the frame.

[@stephenmilner6719]

Confidence is attractive, cockiness is ugly.

[@emeralddaughters]

There is confidence and there is being a player. There is a huge difference. It great to take pride in yourself. If you are playing around then don't be offended by being labeled the player. As long as you are up front about your intentions the less drama you encounter with women.

[@dudewat212]

Be confident. Acquire currency.

[@Onestopgas1]

I'm from London and never heard suck it up butter cup. Nice 1 Chasing skirt is all very well but remember what don corleone said " you can never be a real man unless you spend time with your family "

[@ChernobylPizza]

And yes some women absolutely do get extremely jealous/insecure if their guy looks better than they do. I used to know this beautiful, intelligent and hardworking young woman who had a near perfect GPA at her university. She would date and sleep with high quality guys at her school. Even though she was quite desirable, she absolutely hated how she felt when she would compare her body to these guys (they all had six packs). She was a girl who was very physically desirable and she knew it, but she still felt insecure compared to the guys she would date. Eventually she wound up marrying a pudgy looking guy nowhere near the same caliber of guy (looks-wise) that she normally dated. It wasn't because she waited too long; she was still in her prime. She just felt much happier with a guy with fat on his belly. This way she got to feel secure in her relationship as "the hot one".

[@annmitchell4663]

ChernobylPizza Bet they are both happy though.

[@marimac182]

It's so true, I started working on myself working out and I felt better about myself, my husband is very attractive nice body confident and I used to get jealous because he was fitter than I ,lol... I do enjoy when women say your hubby is very attractive, It's an honor lol..I enjoy him.. yes, I agree work on yourself don't worry about your spouse, women if you can't handle a confident men,please don't date them, especially if u are dramatic and jelouse, Stay away from them, it boils down to insecurity, confident secure men don't like toxic women... heal, workout, love yourself, and wait until you have no baggage of daddy issues to date, women always want a man that they are not ready for...... so they loose a blessing, and please don't date a skinny man if you are fit, if your triceps look better than his dump him, u defiantly don't want to look like the man...some men do get intimated by a fitter woman as well... 😉

[@karlkindle5275]

@@marimac182 What a dumb fuckin comment. Don't date a guy that's skinny even if you love him. What a world we live in and women like you are the problem

[@MrRainbowSprinkles]

She does make a good point of not dating a skinny guy if you want to feel feminine. Most girls are fine w somewhat skinny guys. But the girls that go to the gym a lot and have some muscle to show for it shouldn’t date skinny guys if they’re not comfortable with appearing a bit more masculine than their bf. Some muscular women actually go after skinny guys but that’s usually because they’re doms and not subs like most women.

[@jogwithjosh3707]

man, that engine sounds rad... im working towards joining the sick ride club.. chicks can go get dusted for now, priority is wheels

[@MorningCoffeeDaily]

A hot girl normally doesnt like a super hot or cute, first cause they think they will have affairs, attract more womens eyes, cheat on them, and mainly cause they want to stand out. Super hot or cute girls prefers more normal guys so they can outstand in the crowd. It's like beautiful girls like to have not so cute girlfriends with them so they can stand out. Thats why you see so many couples that she is super hot and the guy isn't but can provide and has a better economical background.

[@JP_AZ]

Intention is the key. Why are you being confident? To get something? Or because that's who you really are and you're not looking for favors or recognition. If its the latter, then a real women will be attracted to that--- a real man of confidence-- in spite of her looser "friends". You never have to lower your light, brother.... As long as it's real!

[@valeriek5020]

Confidence is so important. How he carries himself, how he connects with his friends, family and just every everyday event. Yes, how he handles road rage, the waitress, his money..........many other things. Every woman must date and even fall in love with a bad boy............she will then appreciate that special man when he comes along.

[@slguimaraes8]

Being too “smooth” in your approach can be a turn off because it seems practiced and disingenuous. However, being confident enough to come over and start a genuine conversation to find out more about us is very attractive.

[@samuelgoudeau2369]

I’ve had this experience with the past couple relationships I got into. All of her friends were telling her that I was a player, and to not get with me. However, that did not stop any one of those women from getting with me.

[@KaysianReigns]

I love being confident. It's so normal these days that I forget, girls end up reminding me which always shocks me back in to realization of who I am today. I wasn't that natty confident guy when I was younger. Now if any "hot" girl talks to me I don't get nervous or anything. I think they sense that based on the fact that they will continue conversation with me. When I was 20 I couldn't even look girls in the eyes.

[@robzombie5928]

People dont like knowing they are easily replaceable and thats what they dont like

[@cohesionfield]

I think the whole confidence thing with us as men, boils down to trial and error with a lot of women. There are some women that will despise you for it lol. I think this confidence issue in turn, creates a negative ripple and domino effect among a women's friends because of how they perceive you. I say try your luck and tone it down if you feel its needed to get the woman that you want. Unfortunately, a woman and her friends always have a mental checklist on you from the moment you enter their presence. These are my thoughts. good vid as usual.

[@shazlikd]

+cohesionfield Very, very good points. You are spot on - well done. It's a matter of assessing all people/situations differently and not blundering in blindly. I am anything but confident, but what I can say from years of tending bar and watching countless numbers of people, along with the kazillions of dates I've had (some good, some bad)....confidence is generally a huge plus. Can be a detractor in some cases, as cohesionfield mentioned, no question about it, but it's (generally) a plus. But must be smart and intuitive about it, and this is something (I think) women are far, far better at than we mere, mortal, males. Overall though, the main things that women notice are: Looks/appearance. "Apparent" wealth (clothes, grooming, car, etc.) Confidence, personality, demeanour, etc., play a huge part....but the two points above come first.

[@cohesionfield]

thanks, and excellent reply :)

[@jodynomite0075]

shazlikd / well damn, you are a real player and a baller if you have been with kazillions of women and can't find the main one to keep..😄

[@andrewvaldez8106]

Great video Brother!!! I find woman strange and to know exactly what they want is just too extreme!!! I also stay in shape thinking that the woman I know would find me desirable but they don’t!!!!! I find most woman are looking for unique and someone from somewhere else... I made friends with a nice girl on Facebook and she was already attracted to me before I said anything!!! I did not have to say or do anything and she just Loves me and I just return the favor and be kind and be myself.... So far so good ..... Thanks for listening Brother..

[@lyon9410]

I've even had a female friend of mine lie about me (I'm a female) to a guy I was dating to turn him off me. I got rid of her.

[@4Mikes4Mindset4]

Woman dislike women 10x more than men. I like my women like I like my coffee. I don't.

[@susanelaine7285]

Exterior vs Interior? Which is more important, do they often get presumed differently than actual existence? Is value determined by expectation or actual capability and willingness? Circumstances can change instantaneously in many instances, but the mind when open, expanded, and with useful information copes and deals with things differently. A developed mind has a desire to continue developing and growing and that requires all levels of interaction for some. Especially those in the development business.

[@alibertylover]

The problem with explaining a strategy or position in the pursuit of a relationship is that the human condition is so vast, (psychologically speaking), that once you " think" you have it figured out, someone will turn your world upside down......or throw you a curve ball. A relationship should never be based upon a "strategy " or agenda....

[@Nastyfinger1444]

Why worry sbout how confident you appear? Just be confident of yourself. Opinions are like sssholes. Everyone has one.

[@marimac182]

I love confident men

[@blairfranklin7320]

I understand this overconfidence. I was called vain, self absorbed amd everything else.

[@edwardwright7042]

Comments well-taken soaking up the knowledge!

[@ryanarthur5035]

Whatever turns the off I'll do it to get rid of them for good life's better without them. I love being single keeps me safe from bs.

[@saranjimable]

Confidence is a turn but arrogance is a turn off. Also, I don't want to be with a man that has been around that is a turn off for me.

[@willjames618]

Great topic and video......I think it would be dope if you shared the self improvement books you read to your subscribers

[@ktmaxwell8887]

I think that one's confidence works a passive selective tool to scare away women (and men) who can't deal with it. If you only follow your sexual drive (penis) you'll run into the "too much confidence" problem. The question of the video could be rewritten as "what do I have to change about myself to be attractive for more women?". Doesn't sound so confident anymore. Also I think there is a difference between confidence and the need to show off.

[@stevegwizzle3560]

I think in some instances it can backfire on you and on others it won't. I've had my fair share but when I really wanted something serious with a girl, it backfired on me almost always. So I've learned to tone it down a little depending on the situation.

[@ChernobylPizza]

All women need at least some attraction and some comfort. If you are confident and perfect and completely non-needy then she'll start to worry she won't be able to keep you. This is more obvious in conservative cultures like the Philippines for example, where any hint that you might be a 'playboy' is likely to end your correspondence with a young woman. Most guys in America don't experience this very often because they aren't confident or high value so they can't make beautiful women feel this way.

[@cameronjohn604]

I guess I'm lucky, women prefer that I keep my shirt OFF. lol

[@maximusdecimusmeridius4325]

Hey man, so I'm 19 and in college right now. I started working part time about a year a go and have saved nearly 8k. I'm wondering, if you were in my shoes right now, what would you do with the money? For me, I'm still saving (I want to save enough for a down payment on a house when I graduate in 4 years) and I have most of the money invested in a mutual fund. However, its been in the fund since August of this year, and I haven't made much money at all. P.S. I found your channel a few days a go and I love your videos. It's also awesome that you live nearby! I'm from London (Ontario obvs.)

[@KhoalBishop]

When you graduate will you have student loans? Never go into to debt with cars, credit cards etc. The above guy mentioned buy it straight out and he is not wrong but I slight disagree. I believe real estate for a property in which you live in isnt that bad. But before make sure you are 100% debt free, have 6 months of income saved, atleast 15% of your income in investments and have a sizeable amount for a down payment Id say atleast 40%.

[@vadimosm]

All people are different. Some do feel confident when other party is as well. Others do not. Due to various reasons indeed. Each case is a pile of objective and subjective factors played.

[@bookerbrickman3459]

it would be interesting to hear a video on insecure women. I have dated a few with anxiety and depression but i am talking about shy girls that don't think there good enough for confident guys. love your videos, keep up the quality advise brother!

[@slguimaraes8]

In my 20’s, I was always a shy girl who looks at an outgoing, confident guy or a very muscular guy and thinks, “if he is always this confident/attractive, women will flock to him. He would never choose me.” It was a self-esteem issue, and i had to work hard to address that. I’ve been to counselling, read, watched videos, etc. to better myself. Now that I am in my late 30s, in great shape, outgoing personality, have a great job, am working on my PhD and have a bank account, I look at them and think, “why wouldn’t they choose me?” It just took me a while to get there.

[@amando96]

I had the "player" label when I was a virgin. No joke. Being kinda autistic, unaware of social queues, and just doing whatever I wanted somehow came off as cool/aloof/confident, lol

[@CExume]

This is the very first video of Rich that I can say I disagree with. I find that women are easier to manage when they are in fear of competition. Whether it's encouraged by their friends or is coming from their impression of you, successfully shifting the responsibility of that fear back on them tends to make the relationship easier in the future... She has the choice to "man up" and raise her SMV or "pussy out" (to use fem-centric terms)

[@CExume]

To the question, are they turned off...? That has not been my experience (28 years old, divorced, been called a player most of my life). They get apprehensive and insecure while developing a growing desire to "tame" you.

[@shazlikd]

Good video. While I my not be able to provide any sort of answer or solution to the guy that raised this question, I may be able to shed a bit of light on this issue, taking a bit of broader perspective. First thing though, I have to make absolutely crystal clear that in no way am I saying that what this guy is doing is necessarily good, bad, right, or wrong. It's a free country, and each unto their own. The fact that he's confident and looks after himself - I take my hat off to him. Well done, and keep it up. And while in no way do I profess to be an A1 Relationship Guru, I have definitely learnt a few things along the journey - you can bet the house on it. Since the dawn of time, people have been socialising and hooking up with one another, often leading to the bedroom; nothing new there. But from my own personal experiences, both from dating and what I've seen around me, if and when any two people meet up and things lead to the bedroom....in the vast majority of cases, one of the two is going to want to see the other person again, and regularly. And most likely want to have some sort of relationship, or at least try. Is this always the case? No. But it is in most situations - you can take it as a given. Now before you even head out your front door to head down to the Bar/Nightclub, you need to etch this in stone and keep it in the back of your mind, whenever and wherever you go. The problem is, most people just don't realise this, or they choose to ignore it. Now, if you are sleeping with lots of different women, being a "Player", or whatever choice of words you care to use, only you know what you're really doing (or not). But again, I'm not saying any of this is necessarily right or wrong, just raising a point. Now *IF* you are sleeping with different women, what you need to understand is that in the vast majority of cases, this is going to cause problems because of the issues I raised above, plain and simple. If you continually go from one woman to another, eventually these women (or their friends) are going to get seriously p*ssed with you, bigtime. And this anger they're directing at your is not going to go away. If anything, it's going to get a whole lot worse. So for anyone that may be choosing to "multi date" lots of different partners, this is what they're going to have to deal with, cut and dried. Sealed, signed, and delivered. Now if you are not "multi dating" (read: sleeping with different women), and you're copping grief from your partner's friends, then if I was in your shoes, I'd be having a serious sit-down with my partner and clearing the air. Leave no stone unturned. Really sort out any problems or conflict. Hope I was able to shed some light on this for you. * Peace *

[@shorts26]

shazlikd not if you're up front and honest, because then they can decide if they want to roll or not

[@StayFractalesque]

isn't the point of being confident and smooth, uhm, not announcing that you're confident and smooth?

[@purplebutterfly2900]

Confidence is sexy and desirable in both men and women. A real woman appreciates the comfort of a real man who never apologises for being such. Cockiness, however is an immature attribute and therefore undesirable.

[@KC-wf1ox]

There is a fine line between self confidence and cockiness. Women love self confidence but hate cockiness! If you're a showoff,they will see that. There is a category of women that loves arrogance, cockiness ( or at least they don't care about)...they are called "gold-diggers"!

[@FlyingSoulworld]

I have the same "problem" Women consider me a player 'cause i'm too self confident.

[@davidm2823]

Flying Soul same

[@tmultd8070]

From a womans perspective it is that a man throws off a level of pheromones. Confidence is good but not the end all be all.

[@akonitony2]

You need to raise your headrest, bro.

[@shanegraham9077]

A beautiful female friend

[@istiklalcaddesi]

Well how about this. I have dated a girl while her good friend had a secret (for me it was secret as I have never thought as a fat and ugly girl also knows 100% that I go out with her gf would never even think about me , but later have found out what she has gone through) telling my gf 1st that (he is so good dont lose him etc, after seeing she s got no avenues of success with being with saying that (he is another guy and can cheat on you anytime etc) while forgetting my gf will be telling me what she told her. So I have become an instant player or a "forced player" ... Maybe its a good think and I do believe its a defense mechanism for women to distant themselves most of the time from a man who they know they cant get as he will be not even remotely interested in them. Let them call you a player because they can see that you can and will be able to play them, infact you are playing them and because of that, they need to call you a player and reject you in order to win the game of not being rejected 1st

[@dickweeeeeeeeeed]

wtf did i just read????????

[@bowilliam3865]

dickweeeeeeeeeed Translation they wanna fuck the guy but can't so they hating on him.

[@annmitchell4663]

bo william Thanks for the short and sweet translation,thought Id forgotten how to read for a moment😅

[@georgetan874]

U got it right

[@mrsbobanna]

Even men have issues with pair bonding if the partner count is too high. The count of partners needed is just higher.

[@breakingthemasks]

I'm quite interested in the science behind pair bonding... I've seen the studies about female body counts vs pair bonding hormones... But I haven't seen the same for males. Can you point me to those studies? Or can you summarize them? What is the male body count threshold for reduced pair bonding?

[@TheActionTourist]

@@breakingthemasks leaving comment for answer.

[@jre5811]

My ex loved the fact that I was "confident but not cocky", she had always mentioned that Wishing that bitch all the best

[@three_coffees]

no guy who is getting laid would be ever describing himself as "smoooooth"

[@benouiraneyoussef4506]

this happened to me last year in december im a shy guy and i acted super confident around the girl i liked and when i confessed to her she diden't belive me and said im a player ?!

[@karamlevi]

ATTENTION MEN: here's what to do: act self depreciating!!! Here's how: being super amazing but call yourself selectively a idiot. WHY? imagine a ultra fine woman who sometimes makes ugly funny faces... it's cute!!!!!!!!!! However when not pretty woman do it... omg is it ugly- So- if your poor or not Power successful yet don't act like a blue pill. However when your nails you gotta pop some blue pill facade! Eric Von Hagen said he purposefully fucks up his game just so women feel okay again. I had it happen to me before I was ever a player. I talk very well and it became a problem for me. Imagine you are not good with women but talk with total compassion and articulation... then you get attacked and told your evil, skeamer, bad guy... It was mind blowing confusing. These women required manipulation not sun like love and confidence. It was very unfair and profoundly hurtful!!! Anyways, now I know how to avoid people who hate... you gotta act dumb on purpose to help some other feel non threatened. Your a great guy is meaningless- Honesty means zero. The perceive you as xyz n so it is. Be aware of it- don't expect fairness in war of flowers!

[@pops1pops178]

People put way too much emphasis on dating

[@tankmeister8131]

Confident or too cocky and arrogant They’ll find you out Good luck with it

[@asparrow9876]

I would rather be rejected for being a player & winner than being rejected for being a loser. No such thing as cockiness or overconfidence. There is only confidence and arrogance.... Learn to discern the two. One has nothing to do with self-assurance, the other has everything to do with it.

[@dasein9980]

Sparrow your comment is a whole lot of nonsense, a superficial study of semantics. Overconfidence and arrogance are essentially synonymous. Cocky can be positive or negat, depending on the context arrogance is always considered negative.

[@GodricThe]

girl friend imo is the best

[@simonm1528]

How fast were you going man? haha it was like being at the airport.

[@edinkciku6449]

Just be yourself. Be authentic. And you will attract the right people into your life. There is only one unique you and you should embrace that.

[@tyronegilbert4383]

Is there any one way to be? Either way women are got pick the guy who she thinks is cute or she wants to be with !!!

[@fredszklenski1472]

Story of my life... i would date the hot friend of the group n the plain and ugly and fat ones would talk so much shit on me and tell her im just using her

[@coach_alpha_elite]

Fitshaming is real guys lol

[@wintergoosey6412]

oh my l hope my younger brother doesn't end up like you.

[@weliveforages7696]

GreenJuice TerraFast goddamn I've seen your comments everywhere on this channel, just fuck off.

[@MichaelLynMusic]

Why not do a video on what women really want...LOL...just kidding...men are unable to do this as it is a moving target...

[@Garium87]

The guy obviously is a player. Her girlfriends are doing her a favor.

[@jonathanforse7660]

Not a huge fan of this content. My preference is the topics of cars and business as your channel name promotes. I love that you are answering viewers questions through video but some of these seem a bit off topic and I don't tend to watch them. I don't like to look at relationships as a 'game' and there being strategies involved in 'reeling them in' because that tends to mean that I would be advised to be somebody that I'm not which clearly isn't a smart idea going into a relationship. I don't mean this in a disrespectful way! Just thought I'd add some feedback from my point of view. I always think feedback is valuable and I'm sure you would agree. Looking forward to future content :-)

[@EntrepreneursInCars]

Thx for the feedback, I'm all about cars, biz and being a better version of yourself. The last bit will sometimes answer questions about relationships and women... PS relationships aren't a game, but everything we do has rules of engagement, and understanding what is in your blind spot makes us better.

[@hipster2146]

It's not about answering questions from his viewers. They are giving him topics to talk about. So they are helping him, and he is also helping them and many other people who watch this.

[@annmitchell4663]

Mike B HI sometimes confidence can come accross as arrogance which is never attractive.

[@EntrepreneursInCars]

What do you think? Is Being Too Confident a Turnoff For Women?

[@los8389]

I'm definitely a Narcissistic Young Black Man!....

[@R24952]

At the same time if a woman thinks you don't attract other women she's not interested in you. She wants to be the one among the others.

[@cerebralmindgame9818]

Not If done right. If you're too confident and arrogant then "yes". If too confident and smooth with cuthe and swag then "no". A lot of women are haters and will negatively influence a woman to see you in a negative light if you intimidate them and give them a sense that you're out of her league. Over confidence works on women that feel that they fit your criteria unless your smooth enough to overcome her insecurities and influence her to accept your high perception of self appropriately. 👌🏾

[@mabeltasimeyie7315]

I was working for this older guy. 13 years older. I'm 30 there was a lot of flirting and after I finished working and took my coat to go out of his flat , he grabbed me and kissed me and before I knew it I was taking care of his johnson. I loved it so much but still worry if it's just confidence or he does that all the timw

[@Niko-SZ]

INTJ-Sigma-Male If you are confident you can't be arrogant, arroganz is an behaviour of weak man trying to look like they are confident. Intellectual confidence? There is not such thing like that, you are confident with everything you are or you'r not, there is nothing in between.