Is He Dateable? | JD Rodgers

What makes a man dateable by God’s standards? We tend to let feelings and culture cloud our decisions when it comes to who we date. In this message, we’re asking three questions that help us decide if he’s truly dateable or not.
Is he dateable? Is she dateable? Are you dateable? In this series, we dive into what makes one ready and able to date in a way that honors God.
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[@MonaLisa2495]

"If he ghosts me he needs the Holy Ghost!" 🕊🎯🤣

[@MK79797]

Lol when he said that I said “say it louder for the guys in the back.” 😂👀😆

[@TheJessicagardner]

The worst is when he ghosts you but is super involved in church ...

[@agnesr.4664]

@@TheJessicagardner Just weird and very childish. 😅 I have experienced it ONCE and I seriously lost my respect for this behavior. As brother in Christ, may God bless him. Without me in his life. 😊

[@GodLovesWarriors]

​@@TheJessicagardner Give thanks to God that He showed you his true colors by showing that boy's character, that he isn't a godly man but a boy playing games. Hugs

[@shamiso_t]

🤣🤣😭💀

[@mirandajoyy]

This just changed any mindset I have built up in my head about a Relationship outside of Jesus. I am forever changed.

[@jendryalpizar4370]

I was just thinking the same thing! I’m proud of us for taking this step in the right direction for a new destination, the one God intended us to have all along.

[@emmabarthelmess4076]

@@jendryalpizar4370 I feel so safe knowing that other girls have gone through the same thing

[@Righteous_randa]

My name is Miranda Joy!! What a coincidence!!

[@marissarodriguez2152]

I've been to a lot of conferences and have heard a lot of people speak about purity and dating... and as a female college student this is BY FAR the best talk I've ever heard on the subject. I needed to hear this, thank you

[@alisonp.8753]

I agree

[@mariahconklin4150]

At the age of 37 this was a wonderful sermon I absolutely loved it! This guy knows his stuff!

[@NicoleBernadette]

So thankful that I found this video!! As a junior in college, relationship-related things have been a struggle :') Kinda glad no one has been shown interest in me, perhaps God wanted me to hear and really internalize this message and be secure in Him before He sends someone into my life🙏🏻❤️

[@talisikid1618]

Wisdom right here.

[@beckywelch5865]

I am 37, this is a great message, but it is sooo hard to see guys around my age, loving God, serving God and be serious about it...

[@daughterofzion333]

Find a chruch that has a strong faithful marriage and offers all sorts of Bible study groups and volunteer events. There out there!

[@amarahtanael2188]

I am praying for you and your future spouse.

[@ellaandriyenko9333]

Literally the best sermon on this topic!! Exactly what I needed to hear! God Bless you guys!

[@victoriakaethler2160]

this is by far the best sermon on dating! Thank you!

[@jesusiskingofmyheart]

Wow. This sermon has truly blessed me 🥲 So thankful I came across this in my season of singleness! God bless you 🙏🏼♥️

[@belenfletes3785]

This was so good. Most definitely confirmation !

[@madisynconnelley]

So powerful and on point!! Thank you

[@MK79797]

Preach it! Love this sermon!! It gives so much wisdom that needs to be distributed in the church for Godly relationships! Love it when he said that girls overthink and it’s a guy’s job to bring down all the thoughts to one. It makes so much sense I overthink so much!! 😂

[@melaniebrown6274]

Wow! I stumbled upon this message and it was NO accident!! Thank you

[@je39981]

Blessed by this sermon.

[@jesuslovesyou4634]

I love this. It is so convicting!!

[@T-She-Go]

23:00-24:30 AMEN! 😂🙌🏾 I thought that I was crazy busy overthinking about this guy in my life. But thank you pastor for the clarity 😌

[@gracelynch9438]

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

[@michellekaronji6333]

I could not like this message enough times!!!!! Literally the inside of me-- yes! YES! YES!

[@midnighthymn]

Excellent message. Thank you!

[@melaniemartin4319]

🤯🤯🤯🤯Help!

[@user-ll5ik3fm6f]

Thank you, You have opened my eyes that I have not met anyone that is marriage material according to God's word and I am close to 50. I believe its time to heal

[@paulbotello1289]

I grew up without a Father. So many walk that same path of life, never knowing the TRUE guidance a Father can provide, the sense of protection, the unwavering love a Father is supposed to extend to his children. It only got harder once I had children of my own, HOW do I be a Father, when I don’t even know what it means…so many abandon their children asking that same question to themselves. God changed everything, God began showing me what it meant to love, to care, to nurture…but not just my children, but those around me “thy neighbor”. I realized I knew no Father, just so I could come to know THE FATHER, when the time was right 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 We are going to have “Moments of Uncertainty” But that is not as important as the element you use to relieve yourself. Many followers of Christ are still indulging in our vices and addictions to relieve our “Uncertainties” Lean on God in your darkest moments, lean on the word that says you were created with meaning and purpose, lean on the Grace of God…let it steady your mind, your heart and your body. I don’t know who I’m writing to, who’s reading this, but God is ready, and waiting for you to seek him, through Jesus Christ, whom he sent to die the death meant for you and I. Not just on Sunday, not just when you “need” him, not just when you’re desperate…but every day, hour, minute and second of your life. Develop consistency in Christ, and you will come to know what it means to “Be still, and know, that he is God” Glory be to God 🩸🩸🩸 If I still have you here, God bless you, join me as I take you inside a moment of my own personal “Uncertainty” in life, while never forgetting God has me always 🙏🏽🕊 kzbin.info/www/bejne/jInJiISqrdOqp8U 🕊🙏🏽🙌🏽

[@arthurbenke974]

Verryyy goood Thx for the advices

[@melonnelon855]

Damn..this is perfect..thank you so much. ♥️

[@william44011]

Is what you said at the front foolish speaking or godly edifying?

[@maggiessweettooth3022]

Wow wow wow. So so good!!!

[@jonusmatthewpasta5571]

I wish I heard this two years ago

[@codfishjoe9232]

I know of a man who is sacrificing every day for God. He is laying down his life for Christ. His actions preach to me. That is the most attractive thing to me, as a woman. A man who SHOWS a life of laying down his life for Christ. That is a guarantee of his character. That he will commit and value the relationship with his wife. The relationship with God shows their future relationships with others, and especially their spouse.

[@pjay8302]

I’m 22 and Im waiting till marriage. I know finding godly women is so hard these days. But I keep praying to God and I know he’s gonna give me one.

[@ashleyacevedo4296]

Man oh man 👏🏼🔥🙏🏼

[@brycecayton2851]

I’ve been with this girl for a year and a half and she introduced me to Jesus. I was agnostic when I met her and didn’t believe in Jesus and then I saw how she lived and she rubbed off on me. She was raised in a church and I was not. I’m still trying to find my bearings and I’ve let my lust pour over into our relationship and I’ve lead us into sexual sin. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t lead her the way I should and I know that and I feel like it’s too late to even try to lead her when she’s been the one leading me this whole time. I dunno we’re only 17 but it’s so much to think about. May Gods will be done

It's never too late to get back up and walk in God's will. If I were you I'd give myself some time to go to church for myself and grow in my personal relationship with God. That way, if God wants you to pursue that girl, you'll have a firmer foundation to be the leader of that relationship😊 I'm praying for you two young people🙏🏾

[@Ana.D_10]

So happy to hear that you encountered Jesus! The blood of Jesus covers that sexual sin you have committed. He broke those chains. It's ok if you haven't been a good leader in the past because if you are in Jesus Christ, then you are made into a new creation. I encourage you to take everything you have commented to God. Talk to Him about all your relationship with her, your doubts and confess all your sins. Ask that He renews you in Jesus Christ and that He gives you clarity on if you should continue pursuing a relationship with that girl. God bless you both!

[@catluvvr]

It’s never too late❤️

[@MrAllysonn]

That was a really good sermon along with JP. I personally have never meet any Christian guys like that. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@melaniemartin4319]

What happens to us...when we don't keep the love spark burning?!🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@dapperdan1017]

They're around just very hard to find. Get into community that is passionate about running towards God and start serving vigorously in the church. When you're out on projects, missionary trips, serving days etc you will start to see the same people running along side you and there you will find such men. Dont lower your standards, lengthen your patience. Pray persistently. After 4 years of praying for a spouse and 2 years of dating I just proposed and we will marry next year. Dont give up hope :)

[@RenewalCreations]

@@dapperdan1017 totally agree. When you are around people in ministry, you meet higher caliber of men and women. That's how God opened my eyes to the fact that there are some really godly men (brothers) out there.

[@TheJessicagardner]

The worst is when he ghosts you but is really involved at church ...

[@JB-kx9bx]

That’s really messed up if someone does that.

[@TheGreatAustino]

It blows my mind how neurotic the young adult community is in the US church is when it comes to opposite sex relationships

[@melaniemartin4319]

Dating is a sin...I believe!!🤰🤰🍅🍅

[@robindear5043]

@@melaniemartin4319 I don't believe it's a sin, BUT I do believe only people who are READY to get married should date. I have heard so many married couples say that, that if they had to do it all over again, they would only date when they were ready to settle down and get married. Makes sense to me, and saves a lot of time and misunderstanding.

[@TheGreatAustino]

Point proven.

[@loismunteanu4929]

This made me laugh so hard. It’s true! So sad but neurotic is the right word. :/

[@GrantJolanta]

truly christian love this

[@JAKEBrakeModel94]

Is there going to be a version of this for guys? I haven’t listened to this yet, so it could be coming, but I believe the Christian community needs to be more willing to give advice to men and women. As a Christian man, I find it hard to find advice on who to date as a guy. In the search, I find plenty of content for women. Again, this could be coming.. I don’t know. But I felt the need to say this

[@bgaanpwns15]

When I saw the title is He dateable, that tipped me off that I should watch this to know “hey am I dateable as a dude?” Whether it is “is he dateable” or “is she dateable”, they both are very applicable advice to both genders. For example, as a man, in this one I go into it thinking “do I meet these requirements?” Or if it’s “is she dateable?” Then I’m thinking “is this what I’m genuinely looking for” and if the answer is no to anything then check yourself. You have the wrong mindset going in.

[@JAKEBrakeModel94]

@@bgaanpwns15 I don’t have the wrong mindset. Sorry. I listen to these as well to see if I fit the categories to hold myself accountable. I have just found that it’s harder to find Christian content discussing what to look for in a wife.

[@calliegilliland8327]

There’s a video called “Is She Dateable” by JD!! God bless & remember if He put you to it He’ll get you thru it :)

[@nicood5691]

Refer to the Word of God, it is the best ressource to understand what to look for in a Godly partner (Proverbs 31, 1 Peter 3, Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 14, 1 Corinthians 7). Some parts of this video were quite unbiblical and you have to have discernment when listening to preachers nowadays ! Hope this helped :3

[@way2girly]

Also search “ how to find a godly spouse or what to look for in a Christian spouse “ also check to see if your church has a ministry for marriage or pre-marriage. You can be single and still go to those. Also check out the men’s small groups or mentorship .

[@jillh440]

Look at actions. Not words. A narcissist will say ALL THE RIGHT THINGS. I don't think this guy knows enough about this.

[@cathys2307]

‘If he ghosted me, he needs the Holy Ghost!’ I wish I should have heard this earlier.

[@kayligo]

I wish I had one of these churches near me

[@jourdandavis9915]

Amen.

[@anasofiacoronado9755]

🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@ben2808]

Jesus loves you

[@jillh440]

If he's ghosting you hes very likely a narcissist or a gaslighter and trying to break you down emotionally to where you will be obedient out of desperation for him to throw you some crumbs. You'll keep trying to recreate how amazing it was in the beginning. They ignore you. To get you desperate to listen and do whatever they say. Then they will throw you crumbs again, and you're so grateful just for the crumbs that you try not to do anything to upset them so they won't leave. It's a total form of mental and emotional abuse.

[@michaellemmen]

Hi Jill I believe I am one of these men (boys) and I am realizing it now that I’ve become a Christian. Do you have any advice on how I can stop this? Should I seek help? I’m afraid because when I was in the world and sought therapy it messed me up further.

[@fanelemcunu]

🙌

[@TheVonWeasel]

I'm so lost on the "men ghosting women" and poor communication part. It's always been literally the opposite for me and every guy I've ever talked to. Women do the ghosting and always refuse to explain anything and just expect you to know what is wrong or that they had a bad day at work when they stop by with a big smile on their face and no body language to show it.

[@sayshapoppert6417]

As a woman, I can say that most of the time, the guy comes across as really nice or someone that you'd be interested in pursuing, but then they start doing something manipulative or showing signs of abusive behavior and even after you tell them you're not interested anymore, they start doing more of that manipulation. This can be seen when a girl says "hey, i noticed that you're doing XYZ and it's not something I'm comfortable with" and the guy says "no one ever likes me. I'm always a failure. I'll never be good enough. Oh yeah, well you do ABC..." I have began talking to several guys and it goes like this sometimes. I will then try to talk about it and explain why that right there immediately told me everything I needed to know. Guys that do this usually let their emotions control them instead of God. There's nothing I can do from there except pray and move on. If they continue reaching out with negativity and manipulation, I block them. Then they say "I was ghosted..." 😂 That's just from my experience. I'm not sure y'all's perspectives.

[@tracyjacquet1902]

@@josephfaraday5003 Put it this way, if she ghosts you then she needs the Holy Ghost. Women need to be communicative as well, that communication part isn’t one sided, that’s why the last R is responding to what was said. This is why when you say something, how she responds is just as important. No response is a response. She’s lost interest. If she can’t communicate that, then she’s not a woman. Just as women cannot be lead by boys, you cannot lead a girl. You cannot mix maturity with immaturity because the latter always taints the mixture. I’m sorry that your experiences haven’t been the best, but I hope this sheds a better perspective for you. You cannot read her mind, and sometimes you’ll never know why. Job never knew why he was tested, but at the end of the day it didn’t matter. How you got there doesn’t negate the fact that you’re there. It’s what you do now that determines whether you’ll stay there or push forward.

[@way2girly]

If anyone is looking for good marriage and dating advise, you should look up Voddie Baucham . He talks about godly women hood, godly manhood and marriage topics.

[@esmecelest]

but what happens if you dont have parents where the bf wants to ask for your parents approval??

[@bucketmanblu9691]

Tell him to ask your father, your father God 😉

[@mangoice-cream5748]

Then to ask your care takers or legal guardian I’m assuming

[@sierraclark6129]

Jesus Christ is waiting for you with His arms open wide!😁

[@michaellemmen]

I am the immature boy and didn’t know it. I’m 28.

[@jacobortiz4376]

GO AHEAD GET SPICY JD

[@jillh440]

Asking yourself is he faithful or flaky? How the heck would you know if he's flaky or he has evil intentions and he's putting on a good show all the things that you would be looking for he would be getting green check marks all the way down the list but once you get married then you realize the whole thing was fraudulent if he's cheating if he doesn't have integrity if he's flaky you're not going to see that if we can't catch him in it so people have to consider these things as well

[@GodLovesWarriors]

Be connected to God in prayer, if you feel anything off with any guy you are dating, that's the holy spirit trying to save from heartache. Ask God to show a person's character, He will because guess what, the mask can only be there for so long. You can know someone based on the fruits of the spirit. The people around him, the elders in the church, etc. What is his conduct, character, what are his actions saying not the words? God said there will be wolves among the sheep but we must stay vigilant.

[@jillh440]

This is a great message for Christians but there's a lot missing people can get out of prison or be new in recovery and be on fire for Jesus but haven't done any work or had any time to process and do some self work and change who they used to be. Just because we are sold out for Jesus doesn't mean we're not dealing with things like codependency or mental health issues or Integrity issues. Someone can be radically on fire for Jesus and be a sex addict and not delivered of that yet. You can marry someone that is new to recovery and they are on fire for Jesus and then you get married and wake up and they have relapsed and you're married to an addict. There's a lot more that goes into it than what's in this video. It's a great guideline to go by but if you're going to procreate and make human beings with this person what is their family history of abuse of mental illness of addiction of physical illnesses? On top of that if you don't even know who you are you haven't been any self work how do you know what's going to be a good match for you long-term. Everybody goes through changes and grows and becomes a different person than they were when they were young so what fits for you now may not fit for you in 10 years. Being a personality match is super vital. Being a match in your integrity is super vital. You can't have integrity in most Arenas but cut corners on some things and then get with someone that doesn't have the same level of integrity and expect them to operate at your level. Eventually is a little foxes spoil the vine. Many narcissists come guided as a man of God but once you're locked in the wolf comes out and it's too late you've made your vows. Be careful. Check out mentalhealness

[@michaellemmen]

Thank you for this comment because I think this is me, as I am on fire for Jesus so I tried online dating, only to realize I’m reverting back to my worldly ways when it comes to relationships, although I truly have been saved by God and I know he is real.

[@michaellemmen]

And it makes me feel worse when I hear sermons like this because then I think: okay, I can do all of this, but it turns out I’m just doing steps I’ve heard, I haven’t fully changed my behavior patterns yet. So then when things don’t work for me, I feel as if I am defunct or helplessly broken. I am a narcissist. It’s so hard to admit that. I come from a narcissist background. When I see people raised by Christians in the church, I just can’t relate to it. I also envy it to an extent, because they are just so… healthy (I know they’re not perfect and I don’t know what they are like in the em secret place), but it’s like this: I’m a born and bred narcissist. It’s what I do and what I do best (I even type that with pride, how sad). It’s how I survived up until now. So when trying to relate with people at the church who come from healthy families (not perfect, but healthy), I find myself trying to keep up with them/ undo a lifetime of training and it’s so exhausting and then I feel as if I don’t belong there among then. And then I feel as if I need special treatment by the people there, because that’s what I’ve received in my life up until now (to an extent- I have good and bad in me like the rest of us). What’s worse, is then I feel more spiritual than the people there, because they haven’t ‘been though what I’ve been through.’ I notice all the things I do to people in church… give them a glimpse of some amazing part of me… and then hide it away, or never reveal my true self… keep people intrigued but never let them see my full self… a normal human like the rest of us.. I never let myself get to that point of vulnerability… because I fear I cannot handle the rejection of my true self… I wait for people to come to me exclusively, and if they do, I feel no need to make the same effort. I truly need help and I thank the Lord every day that he found me and at this point I’m rambling, so.

[@rubenthompson5900]

A wise theologian by the name of Paul Washer has 3 words that should be the stance for every Christian concerning the topic of dating, “Dating is Unbiblical”

[@melaniemartin4319]

What were the scriptures? I find dating taboo!😪😪🌚🌚❣❣

[@je39981]

@@teemushy7685 Well said. This is a perfect example of dating and I had no idea till I saw this post.

[@JokeSwag]

You shouldn't have to ask a woman's father if you can date them. This is the person you're going to trust your kids, your food, your home, and your finances and she can't even make a decision about whether or not she wants to START talking to a man of the opposite sex with Daddy's approval? Let me guess, she didn't have to ask his parents to date him, she didn't complete a full on interview with the parents either. Someone please explain to me how this isn't misogyny hidden under the veil of being a "Christian". This guy openly says women can't be trusted to make their own decisions without an extensive approval and vetting process.

[@happycamper3561]

You have it all wrong. This is about showing the woman respect. It’s about earning her trust by being honest and transparent with her family. I have nothing but respect for this kind of communication. My dad never cared who I dated or went around with. I dated losers who ended up using me for sex and I was also date raped. My dad didn’t teach me about men or care about how they treated me. And it hurt me.

[@happycamper3561]

@@teemushy7685 yes absolutely agree. Our culture has gotten so dysfunctional that many fathers don’t love and protect their daughters as they should. They let their daughters navigate the dating scene with no guidance or support which is why many women end up giving in to hook up culture. They will have sex with a guy just because it’s the only male attention and validation they’ve ever gotten. When a father is absent from his daughters dating life it really hurts the daughter.

[@loismunteanu4929]

^^ This is what it looks like to miss the point. It’s not about permission, it’s about respect.

[@JokeSwag]

Notice how you all missed the point, this is mysogyny. Did the woman do the same for the man and his parents? No, she didn't.

[@mazal9895]

@@JokeSwag lol that’s not misogyny! In relationships, specifically traditional ones, men and women are equal but not the same. What a man looks for in a women is not entirely the same as what a women looks for in a man. When a man approaches a father about his daughter there is an understanding between them - man to man: can you provide for my daughter? Do you have the characteristics to lead the family in the right direction etc.. the family of the man will also will vet his potential partner but perhaps not as openly.

[@ellens5109]

"I'm not saying his daughter is a machine" but he IS saying she's her dad's property... YoU'rE tHe LeAdEr. Just transferring the property of the dad to the boyfriend to own --- I mean "lead."

[@amandapanda9231]

No that’s not what he’s saying! Property is replaceable and people are not! He’s talking about having reverence for her parents relationship not just that of the dad! He asked her parents for permission to date their daughter and used the dad as an example of how he wouldn’t just let anyone date her since he raise her/cared for her all his life. When he talks about leading he talks about following Christ in a way that steers their relationship in a godly direction! The same applies to women! She can lead her husband in godly direction or not! Def not talking about women as property of a man, had you watched the whole video you might know that!

[@ellens5109]

@@amandapanda9231 If you look into gender complementarian theology that is exactly what he is talking about. If the daughter didn't belong to the father, then why did he need to ask permission in the first place? It's basically a transference of power over the woman. "Leading" a woman may sound nice, but it's just fluffy language for subordinating her. I'd suggest reading The Making of Biblical Womanhood and Jesus and John Wayne as an introduction to the ideology he's talking about. Also, he made a direct analogy between asking to use a lawn mower and asking to use a daughter - and he said the analogy broke down at the machine part - not the property part.

[@michaellemmen]

@@ellens5109 what does an ideal marriage look like to you? Does the woman lead, then? Or do both ‘lead’? And how does that work?

[@ellens5109]

@@michaellemmen it’s a relationship of equal partners and friends. When you’re with your friends nobody has to be the “leader” or have the final say. You figure it out together. Otherwise it’s not a very good friendship - it’s more like boss and employee.