Is My Boyfriend’s Porn a Marriage Deal-Breaker?

[@CmRoddy]

Pastor John is 100% correct here. As a young man who struggled with pornography for years I can attest that getting away from that filthy habit has been one of the greatest blessings of my life, and my current relationship with my God and with my future wife has been improved beyond anything I deserve. The majority of the comments on here that disagree are doing so just so they can justify continued viewing of pornography on a regular basis. There is no interest in placing one's life under the Lordship of Jesus Christ and His command; there is no interest in growing in holiness and sanctification. These comments are disagreeing because they do not truly take the Word of God seriously. It's that simple. The dissenting opinions on here are unbiblical and the result of a low view of Scripture.

[@Raszcall]

Amen!!

[@elizabethchambers312]

CmRoddy AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!!!

[@niclofton9912]

Thank you so much for your testimony! Please keep those of us still struggling in prayer brother.

[@Bradmhj]

How did you beat the addiction. Did you use a porn blocker app on ur phone?

[@larryp5349]

I agree with you man

[@charis74Him]

"Women have a right to expect more from us..." Appreciate the above quote... respect is priceless, and the self-controlled man is respectable .

[@mugenel3712]

Men have the right to expect more from Women..." Appreciate the above quote... respect is priceless, and the self-controlled woman is respectable .

[@charlievanspock9868]

Women these days watch some crazy porn but yeah you are right.. But they don't get a pass just because this is known to be commonly a male problem

[@justonetime6179]

Charlie VanSpock glad you recognised it as mainly a male problem. And yes, porn addiction is a deal breaker (before getting into marriage).

[@douglaidlaw740]

Yes, and what creates or destroys respect is different for each couple. External advice has limited value. If you two can't discuss the issue now, you are headed for disaster.

[@leahwilliams3618]

"porn is unloving". Well said. I tried to reason with my husband using this perspective, he couldn't have cared less. Porn destorys a man's heart. There is no empathy or love or concern in them for any female. I've ruined my life and my children's lives for over a decade with a porn addicted husband. Im still in it and everyday I'm trying to figure out how to get out of it. I also want to say that he professes that he is a christian (for 40+ years) and has been respected by the church. He fools everyone. I have felt like i was living in the twilight zone. I have forgiven him and given him chance after chance. I have been activly involved in a recovery group (so has he) for 6 years. He still chooses porn. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. No Man is worth what ive been through.

[@CJKisame]

I myself struggle from pornography but it changes like only now because I convert my energy to exercising and listening obeying word of God. I prayed that I have the urge to devotion everytime. Pls pray for me with this journey! Thank you in Jesus name.

[@doubleghod]

I will pray for you right now.

[@Charles.Wright]

The grace of God has appeared to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires

[@ohnobo14]

Hope all is well friend

[@shayaandanish5831]

I am not a christian but hearing this pastor really brings tears to my eyes

[@ianmcdonald8648]

May yor tears turn to tears of godly sorrow that works repentance unto eternal Life and obedience to faith in Jesus Christ.

[@dv4740]

Please pray for me that i may conquer this sin. I always manage to be free from it for weeks or sometimes months but i never ever have gained compelte total triumph. It's been now 11 days of freedom and i truly want to be free that i have selfcontrol and that god can fully prepare me for my future wife. “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

[@mellie7533]

My family will be praying for you, brother. As a woman whose husband had hidden a pornography addiction for 4 years and has now triumphed in freedom from sexual sin for over a year now, I want to encourage you that freedom is possible for the rest of your life. If you're struggling with going back and forth, that's called lukewarm belief. You are capable of TRUE freedom once and for all. We are proud of your effort to change! Praise God! Believe in the power of God and that He offers you the strength to be free from this sin FOREVER. You can do it, and we are cheering you on! Even if that means you give up private use of technology or have to pay for a porn blocking app, PLEASE be willing to invest time, money, and sacrifice into fleeing from this sin because of your love for Christ who has saved you!

[@justonetime6179]

It may help to not listen to music or watch TV shows or adverts that are suggestive either... mute it, change the channel, avoid it like the plague. Distract yourself when the urge comes. May God strengthen you!

[@jjandregg693]

“Come out in Jesus Name” taught me that there is demonic involved. I5 makes sense that sin opens a door to evil. Deliverance work may help.

[@Decalto35]

i've been following john piper's 6 steps towards defeating lust and i praise the Lord for the great change in my life.

[@swhite7929]

Also, because a lot of comments mention grace, and forgiveness... you can be loving and full of grace towards someone who struggles with porn without marrying the dude!!

[@jjandregg693]

Yes

[@JohnSmith-bm6zg]

I have never heard such a comprehensive and prudent analysis of this issue. Thanks Pastor John

[@icecoolguita]

In this age, I think sexual sin is probably THE major sin we need to watch out for. I gave myself all kinds of excuses when I was younger, trying to find any loophole since the Bible never mentions pornography/masturbation directly. After many years, sexual sin was just a routine for me, sometimes I did it without even enjoying it. Eventually I got to the point where I wasn't even feeling any guilt anymore. I had deceived myself that this sin was okay since there weren't any direct commands about it in the Bible and nobody could logically prove from the Bible that it was a sin. This is what it means to be a slave to sin. I just hope I can encourage anyone struggling about this. I'd watched pornography for more than 15 years and didn't think I could ever fully give it up. If I can then so can you.

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

Completely agree about sexual sin being the major sin of our day. Oddly enough, when the gentiles were first being converted to Christianity, the 3 things the apostles said that they absolutely must stay away from were.. “For it has seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay on you no greater burden than these requirements: that you abstain from what has been sacrificed to idols, and from blood, and from what has been strangled, and from sexual immorality. If you keep yourselves from these, you will do well. Farewell.”” ‭‭Acts‬ ‭15‬:‭28‬-‭29‬ ‭ Abstaining from sexual immorality is a basic requirement and yet, it’s everywhere in the “churches”. Paul said that it shouldn’t even be named in the churches. It shouldn’t even be a thing cause we are no longer our own. We were supposed to have died to that stuff when we came to Christ! He sets us free from it. He gives us power to overcome. He bought us with a price and is now Lord of our life! I fear that many are deceived and on the day of judgement will hear “depart from Me, I never knew you.” 😢

[@gettingreal2453]

Trust me, porn is hell. Don't ever tie yourself to a porn addict. RUN!!!!!!

[@clare3791]

I ran!

[@rehabnow]

Amen. Had I'd known my husband was so into it before we got married, I would have not married him. It ruined everything but he wouldn't have it when I tried to tell him. Now my heart is hardened and he's my friend and like a brother but it drastically hurt our marriage and it is not what it should be. I feel nothing.

[@jjandregg693]

@@rehabnowI pray he be free and you be healed and restored.❤

[@apphea001]

I've noticed MANY times that guys who indulge in porn also cheat on their wives.

[@chaboi7]

To me I see many women who try and dominate their men while also cutting back the sex and that's what leads to porn or cheating.....never did a man chest who was respected at home and taken care of in the bed......its hard when you have an americanized wife who wants to wear the pants and she doesnt realize that theres ton of women out there who still get it, a man needs his place at home and many women are in direct rebellion against God when they dont give the man his place as head of the home then these women suffer heartbreak because some other lmwoman comes around and allows the man to be himself around them.....it works both ways...

[@guzlemuzle]

@@chaboi7 you need help man

[@NaggingThoughts]

king bibibear Are you saying that you were married to an Americanized wife that you watched porn & cheated on because she was in rebellion to God but now that you have a kinky geisha to fulfill your fantasy that you no longer watch porn or cheat?

[@chaboi7]

@@NaggingThoughts actually no, you've got it backwards...yes I was into porn but I was always having orgies and one night stands left and right....i was proud of the fact that all i needed was a couple of hours alone with ANY woman on planet earth and i could sleep with them..I lived that lifestyle until it caught up to me, one day I was sleeping in my bed and a demon woke me from my sleep. A beautiful demon wearing a glowing purple dress, i was aroused by it & we had sex, that haunted me for many years but I fell into porn addiction and sexual encounters again even making my own porn but one day I realized that all of this was evil, the look in the womans eyes in the porn movies and when I was having sex was most likely that same demon looking at me saying "I've got you again"......anyways, all of my lifes experiences led me to want one woman, a friend, a lover and that's what I've got now thanks & glory be to God......ijs, in my past experiences I came to know women very well, especially americanized women & yes, americanized women are a little macho imho l, not all women but the way I see alot of women treat their husbands I can understand how they atent having a good relationship.....I know theres tons of manchilds out there also but we are talking about women here for now.....imho if women knew how to actually please a man theyd stick around much longer....

[@NaggingThoughts]

king bibibear Porn & sex addiction has absolutely nothing to do with how the spouse treats him/her. This is a personal sin that exists independent of relationships. I was married for 18 years to someone with a secret sex life that I only started to learn about in the divorce. I could’ve behaved the exact same way because the marriage was so bad, but I didn’t cuz that’s not a problem for me. Sex addicts need to own their own sins. The choices we make to sin have nothing to do with anyone else’s sins or behavior. Also a geisha archetype is a sex fantasy that objectifies women instead of being an independent human being with her own thoughts. If you don’t recognize these two things, I suspect you haven’t really repented from you sex addiction & it still dominates your heart.

[@sarahalderman3126]

It most DEFINITELY should be! Without ANY hesitation whatsoever, it is 100% a dealbreaker. I would have never married my husband of 22 years if I had known. It has ruined my entire life.

[@dovaro2377]

😢sorry about that. May God bless you and heal you.

[@anniamarie3809]

Same here, married and brought kids into this world with someone who lied to me on purpose. Ruined not just my life but his and the children. Men can be very selfish. Unforgivable.

[@sarahalderman3126]

@@anniamarie3809 you’re exactly correct. It should be unforgivable to force someone into accepting the unacceptable.

[@swhite7929]

Thank you for addressing this - what also needs to be mentioned is that the women involved in pornography are more often than not victims of human trafficking, rape, torture, and all sorts of humiliations, coercions and degradations. It's not just that they engage in sinful behavior, it's that many of them were groomed or sold into it from a very young age. Many are STILL underage. So yes, it's not loving towards these women to consume porn.

[@rimwrecka100590]

I've been forever telling my friends, coworkers, etc., that I can't stand porn for that reason. I can't stop seeing the women as someone else's daughter, wife, mother.

[@SisupalanMartin]

This is upright view

[@fabianabenites61]

Yup

[@noellealdi881]

Amen. I stopped watching it for that reason (amongst many others) when I realized that could have easily been me. If it wasn’t for God allowing the court to have my mom take full custody....I could have very much been in that life. Pray over those women....a lot of them (most) were raped or abused growing up

[@vicdamone3313]

@@noellealdi881 See for me it was more of like a "Yooo... that's someone's daughter" Meaning It was more of a thrill and it turned me on, rather then it disgusting me. Now I'm clean from it, though I still face awful thoughts, probably due to the bond I had built with the sin. It's interesting though how as a female you had to put yourself in that spot. I just tell myself, I can't be a dad that watches porn, granted I don't have kids, it motivates me. Also I know it's not in my heart to sin against God, but now that I'm thinking I'm still to goal based rather than God based. Ehh I do it because of what he'll give me if I stay faithful and live as pure as possible. So idk... Im happy your over it and pray you never return. I havnt met any females who where addicted in someway.

[@D123-f9k]

Thank you for this. I am preparing to lead a group in studying Every Young Man's Battle. Please pray for me and the young men in my community that God is leading to this group. Pray that God makes our hearts humble, honest, and faithful leading into the start of the group in a few weeks so that we will grow in our love of God and build each other up when we feel under assault and weak.

[@BA86AB]

I’d include that men who watch them aren’t only watching women who WANT to participate but also endorsing sex slavery, sex trafficking and rape, because many women have been drugged, coerced or forced to do these acts and video taped. I think it’s important to make that point very clear. I pray that these men be set free, much like those who are in that industry.

[@BA86AB]

@John Nopey so because it’s a small minority you’re endorsing it, right?

[@christianrowbotham7386]

I doubt it, sure these are real issues but there also people who does porn that makes millions and they are just living the good life

[@swhite7929]

@@christianrowbotham7386 That's an extremely uninformed comment. The _vast_ majority of women want out of the industry, have been raped, tortured and beaten. Even when (if) they are making money, it's still extremely difficult for them to quit, because they are threatened with more violence and they face the risk of being fired of any normal job for their past. Many women die in that industry. More than HALF start underage, many as early as 12. Who even cares if some are 'living the good life.' When someone watches porn, the likelihood that they're watching abuse is through the roof.

[@whitneyw.7919]

This is 1000% a dealbreaker, leave now. If this man doesn’t quit out of nothing but his own desire to quit, he will just do it behind your back.

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

Absolutely true. My husband did behind my back for 15 years and had me completely fooled about it with lying and deceit until the Lord saved him 5 years ago and he repented from it completely and confessed it to me by powerful conviction of the Holy Spirit to do so. It’s been a tough battle of forgiveness but yes, over 50% of married “Christian” men secretly do it behind their wives backs and lie about it and hide it.

[@tromboneman4517]

It depends. If he is unwilling to do the work to quit, absolutely 100% yes. If he is absolutely willing to do the work to be free and you only find out because he willingly brings it to the light, stand by him!!!

[@helgatanny]

I was about to ask this question. What if he is willing to change and doesn’t please himself in the sin

[@marymacdonald1651]

No, of course, one shouldn't marry such a man. Do you want this kind of stuff coming in your house.

[@warriorpoet667]

Every young Christian man in the world needs to hear this.

[@megatron8490]

Praise the Lord for giving me enough strength to quit porn before pursuing a relationship

[@jeipina]

i recently lost my ex-girlfriend because of these struggles. i have been battling with lustful things since i was 3 years old. i decided to confess this struggle to her. i watch videos like these and it just makes me want to kms. i never would've thought i could hurt someone like that and ever since it all happened, i have just been overwhelmed with guilt. i have always struggled with depression and guilt but after this happened in my life, it multiplied x10. but at the end of the day, i feel like i deserve this and she deserved to be free from someone like me. God will get vengeance for her. i won't be able to stop God's wrath against me and i highly doubt i will ever have a wife in the future. but this is well deserved and maybe things can get worse for me. as long as justice is served, i am fine with it no matter if i have to die

[@stefaguilar5547]

How are you doing with this now friend?

[@HearGodsWord]

We all have sins and faults but if the guy is a Christian he should know this and should be battling to kill sin or sin will be killing him

[@Monado6]

Someone that struggles with extreme pornography lacls self control and discipline and is not ready for to lead and shepherd

[@NeerajLalu]

After being single for many years, I met a wonderful woman. I could not understand how naturally, without any effort at all, I had a natural sense of commitment to her. I naturally could not be attracted or drawn to any other woman, and everything this pastor explains came to me so naturally. The kind of love I have for her could only have been put into me for her by God Himself.I Thank God everyday for this love I have for her.

[@gettingreal2453]

Run run run...don't chain yourself to a sex addict!!!!!!! Never!!!!

[@utahcindy4114]

Porn isn't just sex anymore. It involves rape, torture and even murder. It's not just two consenting adults, it's men with children. If you call yourself a Christian, don't be deceived. Get out now before your soul pays for it. I know personally. My husband has been doing porn for 25+ years. I stayed for the sake of our son but now I'm ready to leave because my son is now an adult. I want to be loved. I want to be desired. My husband has cut me off from sex. I'm no longer good enough for him. I'm so hurt. Yes long term, unrepentant porn use is grounds for a biblical divorce. It is what the bible calls sexual immorality.

[@andrewkennedy4886]

There is no device of Satan that can so quickly and completely make a man or a woman insensitive to Spiritual things than an ordinant worship at the shrine of lust and passion! - Billy Graham

[@markdiblasi3061]

It is no longer I who do it but sin that dwells in me. Rom 7:17.

[@Bradmhj]

Mark DiBlasi yes we need to fight daily but if we stumble we shouldn’t be condemned

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

And you are responsible for that sin to master it by the power of the Holy Spirit. “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.”” ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭4‬:‭7‬ ‭

[@JenniferJohnson-v2w]

I would not marry a man who is a porn user. I realize that weeds out the majority of men. However, you will spend your life being lonely in this marriage and he'll be giving all his energy away to girls on the internet. I speak from experience on this one. Sometimes I wish I had run when I figured out there was an issue there. It has nearly destroyed my marriage and I'm powerless over his addiction.

[@FearofGodmom]

God loves you, and He will take care of you.💜

[@revlo1557]

SO POWERFUL! Thank you Mr. Piper for your profound wisdom.

[@173rdUSmilitary]

As a person who struggles with porn, shouldn't whether or not he or she is actively trying to overcome this addiction be taken into consideration? Though I understand its extremely selfish to watch, but I would assume it would have a negative effect on the person who is trying to overcome this addiction to break up over that? Also does anyone have any suggestions on how beat this? Such as software for your computer/phone to block these specific sight? Any input or advice would be greatly appreciated!

[@oivashina7]

173rdUSmilitary www.covenanteyes.com

[@chaboi7]

I'm going to be honest with you...if you really want to beat this just pray and put faith behind that prayer....you need to shut your cable off, downgrade your phone, throw away your computer.....maybe you need to take up outdoor activities like I have, I hike. I swim, I exercise.....I put faith behind my repentance and that's what God asks for....

[@gugligem948]

The lie : is that beauty will make you righteous, getting pleasure will make you righteous, her getting her righteousness from your beauty will make you righteous, her exposing will make you righteous - the truth : Jesus Christ has already made you righteous .. that is the only thing that will set you free. Ask Jesus Christ to give you his righteousness and take away self righteousness.. that’s what we were all born into trough Adam and Eve .. ask him .. he will take your old away and give you his new.

[@guzlemuzle]

well the problem being that they have been actively "seeking" to overcome it for 5+years, at some point you just enjoy the thought of maybe repenting/ feeling bad for yourself instead of Jesus.

[@RoniiiB]

Therapy

[@superman9269]

So if any man struggles with porn I encourage u to read the book wild at heart.

[@charlievanspock9868]

The struggle is real. Keep fighting the good fight men and women. Porn is way to accessible these days. The enemy is coming at us with everything he's got. Resist the devil and he will flee.. Fight your urges and conquer yourself. Fight fall down get up fight fall down get up fight fight fight fight stand firm.

[@morriswilburn9858]

If you get to the point that the only type of car you want to drive is a Rolls Royce, you will be dissatisfied with anything less.

[@kanwalamjad6187]

I am agree with pastor John.But according to me , if husband and wife both prayer for each other and love and care each other according to Bible,Then porn has no power .Actually, when we get away from God,desires of flesh invade us.And we get weak and porn gets powerful.Just prayer is solution,

[@vaportimenow]

Jesus tells a different story in Revelation 21:6 "He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. 7 THOSE WHO ARE VICTORIOUS will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. 8 BUT the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the SEXUALLY IMMORAL, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars-they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”” If we practice these sins, we will not see the Kingdom of God/Heaven. Be not deceived. False teachers are everywhere, even on this page. You must know the the New Testament. Read it and believe what it says.

[@chaboi7]

You also have to make moves with those prayers...put that faith into action

[@audreyperreault2036]

Absolutely a deal breaker...! It's totally up to her self-esteem.. and body image.. She shouldn't have to share her beauty, attractive and sexy-ness.. Absolutely a deal breaker..!

[@larryp5349]

He’s RIGHT Listen to him!

[@MLA22012]

Girl dont marry him. Porn has messed up my marriage.

[@chaboi7]

Wait but shes having sex with someone that shes not married to? That makes her a fornicate herself so she should stop blaming others for her own faults, she needs to fix herself before trying to fix others....

[@guzlemuzle]

@@chaboi7 when did she say that? I rewinded and couldnt find where she mentioned that.

[@chaboi7]

@@guzlemuzle it's in her question. Duh

[@db4419]

@@chaboi7 nowhere in her questions did I hear her say or imply they were already having sex. What did she say for you to interpret that?

[@wisetow10]

I bet you didn’t contribute to the mess ring up of that marrige huh?

[@fordaculture_]

Dang I needed to hear this

[@loriwhalen2321]

Pastor John,I really need your help. My 6 year marriage is unraveling quickly due to my husbands habitual porn use and his pathological lying about it.I have forgiven him literally hundreds of times. We read the bible,pray,watch Christian videos everyday. We have gotten council from our pastor.,but nothing changes. Even after a couple of serious separations,he promises to be faithful,but goes right back to his old ways. Our intimacy is completely dead. Even though I'm slim and considered attractive,he has no interest in me. I'm in a lot of pain and despite his good qualities,I'm at the end of my rope. Can You please give me any suggestions before we permanently separate? I'm a good woman who never signed up for this abusive situation. Thank You very much!-- Lori

[@idiotbun3552]

Hi Lori. How are you doing now?

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

You should separate. He obviously is not repentant towards you or the Lord. It’s marital unfaithfulness which is grounds for divorce.

[@loriwhalen2321]

Hi there. I've been separated for 31/2 years. He's been with multiple women now. I am gearing up to file for a divorce. Strangely I haven't had any desire to date, and haven't in over 10 years. I'm doing just fine by myself. God is good.

[@loriwhalen2321]

I'm going to file for divorce. You are right.

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

@@loriwhalen2321I’m so very sorry that that happened to you! We live in such a wicked and perverse time and I fear that many are being fed for the slaughter of judgment to come. 😢 Stay strong in the Lord! Keep trusting in Him and following Him! He’s coming soon. 🤍

[@sgusjsk]

I agree it is sad....I feel that this habit can be broken only by the renewing of the mind....by God’s word.

[@melissahaneline6544]

"Men are not victims" is such an unfair statement! Most men who struggle (not the ones who care not at all for women unless they can use them) were exposed to porn for the first time as children, & the chemical pathways in their minds were altered against their will to be tuned to this garbage. The struggle is often fought valiantly, & I was surprised to see so little compassion for how difficult this addiction is for men to overcome, even when they are fully committed to doing so. Grace, not legalism. Freedom is possible, but the man needs to be encouraged in his fight against this evil that seeks to ruin him.

[@melissahaneline6544]

@fredthe47th - You seem nice. I hope when you're in need of it, you get more grace than you're offering to others here. I didn't excuse or rationalize sin; I simply said that it would be better to have a grace-filled response to people who are in fact struggling, by God's grace, to be free of it rather than condemning them. We're all slaves to sin apart from grace.

[@melissahaneline6544]

@fredthe47th - We're not even talking about the same thing. I didn't and don't like the lack of compassion shown here, but I also didn't and don't excuse sin on some psychological basis... it's not an either/or situation, but rather both the victimization by sin of young boys and subsequent cooperation with it by damaged men, both need to be addressed. Show some grace.

[@melissahaneline6544]

@fredthe47th - Stubbornness is not a fruit of the Spirit. "Biblical truth" is no excuse for judging me unfairly as you have here. You know nothing about me, but Jesus does. He had a word or two of caution for those who condemn others too readily, so ask Him.

[@melissahaneline6544]

@@fredthe47th - That's precisely the problem! I'm not excusing anyone! I'm calling for compassion toward those who struggle since Jesus did the same. Do you "just stop" all sinful behavior in your life? Have you never felt as Paul did in Romans 7? Grace is often a process, and that isn't excuse-making at all.

[@melissahaneline6544]

@@fredthe47th - In order to be fair, I listened to this again, and even Piper mentions the damage that is done to a man when he engages in porn, and you've missed the point almost entirely, in that my comments were relating to men who engaged in pornography prior to knowing better have been damaged and victimized by that sin's effects. Simply looking at the way that men who have engaged in pornographic behavior struggle compared to those who were not regularly exposed prior to conversion is enough evidence that there's more to it than what you're allowing to inform your largely legalistic stance. It seems to me that you overreacted to my statement about being victims and inferred a great deal more than what was necessary.

[@elijahatkinson2990]

@Topsey Kretts I don't want to necessarily put you on the spot but you're not quite correct. There is a line women need to draw with modesty BUT it is NOT their fault that others fall into lust! If a man sees a woman (say wearing short shorts) and he desires something that is not his, it is his sin. I am responsible for my own lust. I can do bad all on my own. The woman or man is not held responsible on judgement day for their immodesty. That is something God will convict them of, not us. In other words...it's us that is the problem to lust and not them.

[@marymacdonald1651]

Ross Knight I disagree with you, Ross. We shouldn't lead one another or tempt one another to sin. Women who don't dress modestly cause men to sin with their minds, if nothing else. We should all help one another to be good.

[@Painfulwhale360]

Elijah Atkinson it is a sin to cause others to stumble

[@justonetime6179]

Mary Macdonald how about if it’s non-christian women dressing immodestly? Not all women are christian, but all christian men do have eyes. It’s best that christian men learn to practice self-control to not lust after immodestly dressed women (as some are in fact worldly). Worldly men will do whatever they want.

[@boomersooner1972]

How do we submit a question? Thank you for sharing this.

[@SrFlipsAlot]

What if it’s your girlfriend who’s struggling?

[@VendieSolde]

Dump her

[@Andrea-gs9ht]

wow. sooooooooooo well-timed

[@bellarose8511]

What if she finds put her hubby has a problem w/porn AFTER they get married? Since you (John) say it's adultry then According to 2 Corinthians she then can divorce him for infidelity? Just clarifying. thx

[@MrsFJohnson]

Bella Rose she may have grounds, but he should seek repentance and reconciliation.

[@chaboi7]

Nope, that sounds like an excuse, you married that man & you're there through thick and thin, if he hasn't gone to another women physically then you have to stay there and try to fix that marriage

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

Yes, it’s adultery. It’s a sexual EXPERIENCE outside of the marriage. It is grounds for divorce according to CHRIST. But God also hates divorce so I do think reconciliation and repentance should be sought first. It’s not your fault that your husband was unfaithful or that he was a liar and a deceiver about it before marriage.

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

@@chaboi7nope. It’s adultery and is grounds for a divorce. Any sexual marital unfaithfulness is. People need to learn to be faithful.

[@chaboi7]

According to jesus even if you look at someone with lust youve committed adultery in your heart so be careful when youre at work, on vacation or even watching t.v​@JesusIsESSENTIAL

[@oldmedicinecrow]

Yes! It has to be a deal breaker! The Christian men I know think porn is fine and not cheating

[@fireflames3639]

They aren't christians then

[@oldmedicinecrow]

@@fireflames3639 that's the truth right there

[@whatstwelveohnine]

Why is this ridiculousness even a question. The fact that "Christians" these days need to think twice about this is just profoundly disturbing

[@buggsdummy]

Thanks, John...

[@AnitaBarneycastle]

thank you for validating my perceptions.

[@ramoth777]

I'd sure as hell say so, just like a guy's alcohol and/or other drug addiction would be a deal-breaker.

[@ianmcdonald8648]

Question: If porn is oggling - looking with lust on nudity in real life or in images (of any kind mind you) and porn is adulterous, then why do you make a distinction with homosexuality? A man will lust after another man, or a woman after another woman, either through the media, or in real life, and this is also classed by Jesus as adultery, or, fornication. The issue is one of the heart first and then comes the outworking of what is in the heart.

[@ianmcdonald8648]

@@trevrockrock16 yes Romans 1 testtifies against unrepentant sinners, as does many other passages. Let us keep our robes white and washede in the blood of the Lamb. Homosexuality is but one of many sexual perversions - which I would put under the broad heading of fornication - even though it is detailed separately.

[@ianmcdonald8648]

@@trevrockrock16 On what point does Romans 1:21-32 differ to what I said? I was referring to the whole testimony of Scripture. That is the way that we are meant to understand any passaqge. It is ONE COIHESIVE MESSAGE FROM GOD. But go ahead - enlighten me.

[@ianmcdonald8648]

@@trevrockrock16 the concept of abomination ocurs about 150 times win the Bible (KJV); it appears as - abominable- (ly) abomination,/s. In a few instances it relates to what is disgusting between different ethnic gorups - eg; Egyptians considered shepherds of sheep (Hebrews) as abominable. There are different words for in the Hebrew that are translated as abomination etc. as there are two different words in the Greek. In the NT the word the most often wused word is "bdelugma" (946-Gk) and means destestatione; and especially includes idolatry. (947) - bdeluktos - is idolatrous The referenes for 946 are: Matthew 24:15; Mk 13:14; Luke 16:15; Rev 21:27; Rev 17:4-5. 947 occurs in Titus 1:16. 948 which is the same word in a different form occurs in Rev 21:8. All but Titus 1:16 specifically refer to idol worship. Because Paul does not specify idolatry or homosexulaity or any other sin we are unsure as to what is specifically meant - but none theless it is pretty disgusting to God. One Hebrew word is pigguwl (6292) and means to stink; properly - fetid; it can be translated as ceremonially unclean, abominable. Lev 7:18 The same Hebrew word that is used in Lev 18:22 for homosexual or lesbian acts, is 8441 is 'toebah' - something disgusting, an abhorrence; especially idolatry or an idol, abomination. The same word is used in proverbs 6:16 "These six thimgs, does the Lord hate, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: a proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocnet blood. An heart that devises wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaks lies, and he that sows discord among brothers." Proverbs 6:16-19. Sp clearly the Scriptures show that not only homosexxuality or bestiality are an abomiation to the Lord but also other sins. However, in spite of all this, Jesus Himself said that there is ONLY ONE SIN that will never ever be forgiven - Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and lest we be in doubt as to what that is - we need look no further than Mark 3:22-30, and the specific detail is made plain by the Holy Spirit in verse 30. All other sins, including those that cause reprobation are forgiveable. Jesus NEVER said homosexuality can never be forgiven. No apostle ever said that. In fact Paul says - "Or do you not know that unjust ones will NOT inherit the Kingdom of God? DO NOT BE LED ASTRAY< neither fornicators, nor idolators, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous ones, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor plunderers shall inherit the Kingdom of God. AND SUCH WERE SOME OF YOU, but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord jesus and in the Spirit of our God." 1 Cor 6:9-11. (LITV) There you have it; although homosexuals are described by Paul as being given over to a reprobate mind in Romans 1, in his letter to the Corinthians he plainly tells them that you used to be numbered with evern homosexuals, but thaty is in the past, because of what Jesus has done in you and the Holy Spirit. And it is important to note that Paul had a practice - to teach the same things in every assembly and this is found in the last phrase of 1 Cor 4:17 - "even as I teach everywhere in every assembly." I leave you to ponder on that. Peace in Jesus

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

Porn is absolutely the same kind of depravity as homosexuality. It warps the mind the same way. Most that continue in pornography will dive into more and more depraved content as a result of their depravity. Many even watch lesbians or homosexuals. So yes, it’s the same depravity of Romans1

[@Leon-xo5os]

I did this a lot through my marriage I hate it I stopped its been a little while since I last watched it. I stopped and don't want it any more I never wanted any other other women. I love my wife and now want her more then any other I see what has done. I now flee from lust. I love Yahweh and I have been grieving from it the way David did when he gave into his lust for Bathsheba and kill her husband it hurt David so bad in his heart that he repent by putting on sack cloth and though ash on his head and feel down apostate and fasted for 7days and the bible says David was a man after his Yahweh's own heart. I have cried and prayed for Yahweh to forgive me for what I did I have said it hurts me to do what I did to you for so long. I cried and cried out to him so much in pains of tears. I love my wife I don't want that stuff any more I desire my wife more then ever and want to focus on her but it is to late she is leaving and once a woman has made her mind up it doesn't change no matter what I do to show her that I'm done.

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

Sin has it’s consequences. Porn is marital unfaithfulness. The Lord forgave David of his sin but there were still consequences for that sin. I’m so sorry that you bought into the lie of the enemy that it’s not that big of a deal or isn’t really being unfaithful and are now paying the price. 😢 Sin will ALWAYS be found out and it always destroys.

[@gugligem948]

Why is pornography always defined as a man looking at a woman? Pornography is porneo is Greek it means fornication ..fornication means ANY sexual contact/activity, infact even in thoughts getting your righteousness from anyone’s beauty (Jesus’ teaching Matthew 5). If we start teaching what pornography really is we will actually start to see that we ALL are committing pornography from childhood. Every time we say ‘oh it’s just a crush’ or ‘he’s just cute’ or ‘she’s hot’ or to your children at kindy ‘is he your boyfriend’ ... ya .. start teaching a child what lust really is from the time they are young. It’s not a man watching pornography it’s a man or woman who thinks that beauty, pleasure and masturbation are forms of acceptance instead of Christ. Why would you marry anyone male or female who is an idol worshipper? What about that woman who lusts for large penises? Should you marry her.. I’d suggest not. She may not be ‘watching’ porn but guess what she’s also committing fornication. When are we going to start dealing with the sinful nature in mankind .. ‘I’m not a woman’ ?! Seriously Piper as if it’s a woman’s issue.. it’s a Godless issue .. men who are selfish and who blame pornography for their ‘struggle’ can’t lead.. Adam blamed woman from day one so why are we surprised when men still blame women for their behaviour .. if there were no women on the earth they’d be lusting for each other .. oh wait they already do that! So c’mon let’s teach people the truth.. this is not a man vs woman issue, it’s a Godless human issue who are in rebellion to the truths of God and pornography is just an easy excuse

[@Steven-jf8hq]

The truth is tough to swallow

[@VendieSolde]

Trying to throw the blame on women...wow, that's weak. You sound like Adam when God called him for accountability in the Garden of Eden

[@gugligem948]

@@VendieSolde I think you missed the point of why Adam blames the woman, it’s called the sin nature, it’s also why the woman was also accountable for her sin.. she blamed ‘the devil’, but you accusing me of ‘blaming women’, which I wasn’t doing, rather pointing out that women also need to take responsibility for her role and sin In pornography, proves that you also much like Adam also have a sin nature.. and enjoy blaming me rather than understanding that pornography is not a male or female issue it is a SIN issue.

[@VendieSolde]

@@gugligem948 God didn't question Eve. She is not leader. He questioned Adam, and like a weak man does, he blamed God.

[@gugligem948]

@@VendieSolde well I’m not a male I’m a female .. but I do know that both male and female blamed someone else but GOD held them BOTH accountable for their sin .. Leader or not they both sinned and that is the point

[@jamescorsey6041]

I pray I can give up porn I struggle with so much I need prayers 🙌🏽

[@stand4truth607]

The biggest thing for men or women to turn away from the sin of lust and the addiction of porn is them seeing the wrong in it. My marriage suffered to porn and I tried so hard to make him see the wrong in it. From the beginning if he or she does not see the wrong. That is big red flag. You cannot make them see the wrong as much as you nag or cry to them about their problem. Only God can show them that error. So if they don't pray to God for that. Runn! Save yourself the trouble. I wish from did before wasting 7 years.

[@everythingchanges1563]

Thank you for talking about this subject!

[@ashtonfoy5450]

All of this is so accurate

[@HotelCharliHill]

"But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” - Jesus Himself (Revelation 21:8) Friends, this isn't legalism. Jesus, just as the apostles warned while inspired of the Holy Spirit, is stating that people who habitually do the above works of the flesh ARE NOT SAVED. Even if they prayed the prayer and attend every Bible study and prayer meeting and serve in ministry, their fruits make it evident they've never been born again. No godly woman (or godly man) should yoke themselves to such a person for they are of darkness.Men, let us be the men God has saved us and made us to be. We simply must repent, confess, and surrender wholeheartedly to the Lord. Be blessed!

[@FearofGodmom]

Yes and amen.

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

Amen!!

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

Even if they don’t habitually practice it, sexual immorality shouldn’t even be named in the church. It shouldn’t be a thing. David committed adultery ONCE. He sincerely repented and never went back to it. People allow sin way too much these days and pervert the grace of God

[@HotelCharliHill]

@@JesusIsESSENTIAL right but don't forget he had sex with a MARRIED WOMAN and then killed her husband. That shouldn't be downplayed. That's far worse than struggling with porn. He also had more than one wife because as a king he could "have" any woman he "wanted"

[@DomoArigatoMrRobaito]

What if you can't get married?

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

@@DomoArigatoMrRobaito still no need for porn. After Jesus talks about the grounds for divorce the disciples told Him that it’s better not to marry and Jesus basically says, yea for some people. And then says this.. “But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19‬:‭11‬-‭12‬ ‭ If you can’t marry or don’t want to be married, better to become a eunuch than to live with the struggle of sexual sin. It’s that serious. Marriage between man and woman is the ONLY outlet for sex. It’s the way God made it and all other outlets are sin.

[@Cubeazza]

But surely you should love and help him overcome it not reject him for it and leave him alone to overcome it?

[@chaboi7]

If you're not married you're in fornication anyways so if you take away your own self righteousness then youd realize you're half the problem

[@Gabriel_Wangai]

@@chaboi7 who said helping means having sex with him?

[@richardwright1226]

if self control is no law then what does it mean

[@brandykaiser3512]

Sooo good❤

[@elijahatkinson2990]

Ioan is correct. I'm 14 and I know what pornography is and I know Piper is right.

[@susanmainridge3331]

I don't need to ask anyone about porn and lust as a deal breaker for a future husband of mine - I'm Christian and you would be unequally yoked. SO THAT WOULD BE A BIG NO. A HUGE RED FLAG. NO WAY. I would only accept a husband that God picks for me and He would not give me a man who is committing adulttry in the heart and possibly would take it further to another physical conquest. You know how I know? Because I've been down that road. And everything he is saying is what I already went through. It's heartbreaking and destructive 💔 I was married. In the middle of the marriage I got saved and he never wanted Jesus. So it fell apart and was devastating.

[@aurabesque9268]

What a counter-cultural statement. Very refreshing to hear.

[@Leon-xo5os]

Will not love another woman when she leaves it is her and only her I love. I'm admitted I'm and adulterer in the relationship now I can't marry any one else. I going to be alone for ever with a woman this hurts. I know I have Yahweh and yahshua in my life and I should live for them and focus on that and growing stronger in my relationship in them and I will not be alone. I still want someone here to love. I don't deserve love from a woman for what I have done.

[@steveibs3856]

While I don’t necessarily agree here, I like that he’s speaking like this. I think it’s important for a pastor to reflect the biblical text as much as possible. There are many mysteries in the Bible. Offering guidance in this way is biblical while at the same time not tenable. What then are we to do? There are two options and neither are wrong we can default to the teaching offered by Piper if you so choose and we can also implement or apply the biblical principle of grace. There is biblical warrant for this.

[@fireflames3639]

What do you not agree with

[@g.williams2047]

Porn is the most powerful weapon of our enemies, those who hate Christ. As Al Goldstein, the Jewish creator of hardcore (what would now be considered tame) pornography said, "The only reason that Jews are in pornography is that we think that Christ sucks." Don't let Satan's most destructive weapon into your life, like I and many men once did.

[@Medietos]

Thank yolu dear man for loving and wise words. It s right what you say, although there is more, it is (potentially) worse than you say with cartoon and now AI-porn which is so highly addictive and killing the life forces (health and life length expectancy).. Pornography is much more depraved, crude, dark, adictive, evil and deadly = weakening, sickening and life-shortening than it was 50 years ago, and humans more exposed to it with the disappearing of Christianity (values and awareness) for most people.. Like any other sin, it is highly addictive and treacherous in its slow, seemingly safe beginnings. But visit SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous or ASD (Anonymous Sexually Dysaddicted), do their online test, read about the devastation of sex addicition, talk with boys/men who do it, see and feel how it sickens them to body, life-energy, soul and spirit. It is bad enough with internet games addiction, which is also deadly, although as this wise, loving man says, it destroys normal ability and energy for sexual intercourse with a real woman and is hurtful and abusive to her.

[@loriwhalen2321]

Amen.Thank You!

[@bilbobaggins4403]

Doing all sorts of stuff or Just standing there?

[@Aaron-mp9sy]

I am curious how Pastor John would answer the question if the genders were reversed? Say the boyfriend wanted to know if his girlfriend's romance novel collection was a Marriage Deal-Breaker?

[@Romans-10-9-13]

Why would a Christian woman read romance novels? That is a rhetorical question by the way.

[@Aaron-mp9sy]

@@Romans-10-9-13 it is not a rhetorical question. I want an answer.

[@Aaron-mp9sy]

@@Romans-10-9-13 Many women love reading romance novels including Christians. In fact there is an entire genre devoted to Christian women called Christian Romance.

[@SajiSNairNair-tu9dk]

👉marriage deal by money Not soul's 🤔

[@ronaldkulas5748]

There is enough porn walking around in public. A person does not need to purchase it or whatever.

[@justinbirkelo6806]

So... Question. What do we make of Paul's instruction in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, where he says, ' "To the unmarried and to the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. ***But if they cannot exercise self control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.***" (emphasis added)? Given the background of temple prostitution, and how the men (and women) would continually be facing this temptation to sexual immorality on a nightly basis in Corinth as the prostitutes would descend from the temple into the city, I think Paul's instructions here are far more accurately applied to our society. I think it would be absurd if Paul were to say, "Men, the women of Corinth deserve more from you. You should be able to exercise self-control when the temple prostitutes come down to the city and start dancing all around. You need to get your act together here." Listen. I don't mean disrespect here, but Pastor Piper is simply wrong on this issue. In a culture that is absolutely saturated in sexual perversion, the answer is not to deprive one another of the ***godly alternative and solution*** (marriage) to this problem of flagrant, prolific sexual immorality. Deprivation of our natural sexual hunger will only fuel the intensity of the desires we have, and in a culture where access to temptations where we can relieve those urges are so prolific, we should not be putting a yoke on the neck of young men and women who struggle and fight against this sin. The answer is Godly, Biblical marriage. Not to expect perfection in abstaining when temptations are so rampant. A person is not "dissatisfied" with Christ if he or she does all they can to find water after three days of not drinking. God gave us needs. Sex is counted among those needs for most people. I urge ya'll to listen to Paul on this issue, not Piper.

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

Yes, marriage is supposed to be our outlet. Far too many continue to have an additional outlet with pornography even after marriage! What’s the point of being married if you’re still committing sexual immorality and now adding adultery to it as well as lying and deception?? It’s just adding sin to more sin and they’re even worse off than before they had married. They need to kick the porn first! There is absolutely no need for porn! I understand struggling with masterbation before but there is NO reasons to struggle with porn. That is also adding sin to the sin of masterbation.

[@MrThundermouth]

And the woman that unbeliever within every congregation from any gender should be quiet when the man talks.

[@marialange9509]

For me its a deal breaker im done

[@LouisaWatt]

Thank you

[@inmate0054]

he is talking about this from a will power stamd point rather than an addiction stand point. the difference being addiction controls you. you dont control it. therfore thinking of the pain you brong people only makes you feel worst therefore becasue you bad you do bad, going back to addiction. im not saying she should be with him cause obviously he needs to work on some things so that he can nurture a healthy relationship. she isnt married to him bit she should ask herself is she willong to be in the relationship while he goes through the process of freedom which can take, statistically forever

[@Theranchhouse1]

You have too small an image of God/Christ/The Holy Spirit....Christ said 'I have overcome the world' THAT SETTLES HOW you defeat porn addiction !!!Piper is talking about it in spiritual terms Because it is a spiritual problem.

[@gugligem948]

Addiction is a choice .. you start it .. you can choose to stop it.

[@josh_final]

​@@gugligem948 addiction is a habit.

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

@@josh_final and habits can be broken! So tired of people giving in to this helpless mentality. Has the Holy Spirit lost His power?? Does Christ not set us free?? My Bible says yes and I believe God, not man. Also, we don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do. The problem is that people want to. They could get rid of all their electric devices. But they don’t want to. They could get a chastity belt.. but they don’t want to. They could do all that and fast and pray for days. But they don’t want to. And that’s what it comes down to. They don’t want to.

[@TheDebscook]

I agree and yet I disagree because the bible says that I good reason to get marriage is if a man has a problem with lust. (with is touched in 1 Corinthians 7:8) Therefore marriage is a perfect barrier against porn, however the only deal breaker here is, is your boyfriend doing anything to stop? Does he want to stop? Unfortunately, sometimes it is so hard for a reoccurring sin to be broken. I personally believe this is a perfect reason to get married if your boyfriend finds himself continually tempted and giving in and is struggling. It's just does your boyfriend know it is wrong and wants and is trying to stop. I would not want to leave my boyfriend alone in this :P . Also I have a problem here. Most men I am pretty sure if they are honest have a problem with lust. If they cannot get married surely it will be a lot harder for them to combat against lust.

[@stevenhulbert6973]

TheDebscook we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. while the Bible acknowledges the frustration of unfulfilled desire, that's not an excuse for meeting it in ungodly ways. and if a guy can't be self-controlled in the spirit in this area there will be other areas he can't be controlled in. this is speaking as a single guy. in short I agree with the video.

[@MrsFJohnson]

TheDebscook problem with lust is not the same as giving into sin. temptation is not sin. and the fact that Paul addresses the men and women marrying it was sexual immorality in their relationship, not that if the man struggles with sex alone then he should marry the woman. different concept.

[@raquellpn7482]

marriage is not a barrier for lust. try getting married with a person who had lust issues. he will be lusting after other women

[@chaboi7]

I think the question needs to be asked is she is having sex with this guy outside of marriage because if she is then she needs to repent and fix herself before she tries to fix anyone else....

[@chaboi7]

Most women have a problem with lust also so calm down there lady.....btw, do you have sex outside of marriage?

[@olegborlak2197]

Systematic Theology By Wayne Grudem

[@ruggedlifejewelry]

Yes it is trust me

[@beithamidrash1960]

A Christian struggling from porn doesn't need condemnation, he needs unconditional love and forgiveness.

[@swhite7929]

Yeah, from God, and his brothers and sisters in Christ. But it's not condemnation to choose not to marry the guy.

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

@@beithamidrash1960 he needs to hear the truth and that is to repent. That is THE most loving thing you can tell them. Otherwise they will be dragged to Hell in their chains the same as any one else in the bonds of sin.

[@jamesadcock5235]

porn is not good for you. always puts u in in a bad place mentally speaking

[@deanos86]

I like really like and appreciate your work John. But we both know very well that both men and women are not completely sanctified before or after they get married. Part of my sanctification process was meeting my girlfriend who became my wife way before all that marriage paperwork. Your holding some random man to Gods holy standards and he fails miserably, just like you and I do right this minute. So in the end, should this woman marry him, well yes, if he is a Christian that has even the faith of a mustard seed! But its really up to her to figure out all the details at the end of the day.

[@princesskayla10013]

Dean B this is essentially why God places such importance on singleness. The Bible is clear in saying that the marriage bed is undefiled - showing God’s intention for the creation of a strong foundation to be built upon. In marrying the man who is struggling with habitual sin, just like your situation, God will use that circumstance to better you. This does not mean, however, that it is his divine will to do so in that manner. We’re not called to be perfect but we’re called to be equally yoked. In the difficult seasons within their marriage God dedicates overcoming this issue, God may have originally intended to elevate her elsewhere in her singleness. So I understand why you’d say that she could just marry him but it’s the unnecessarily longer road.

[@chaboi7]

I'm sorry but this girl is having sex outside of marriage, the real answer here is for her to repent of her fornication and leave everything behind or shes just as bad as the guy...theres mo having sex outside of marriage

[@gugligem948]

Get sanctified then 🤷🏽‍♀️ why use that as an excuse

[@AngelicHelper]

Fiance? Break up Married? Stay married.

[@VendieSolde]

Nope. Adultery is grounds for divorce. So if married, file those papers and save yourself!

[@jimkiser1429]

For this woman, if this is really, REALLY her primary, most important item on her list of things in a mate, there is only one solution that will guarantee that she will not be disappointed. Marry a God-fearing, good Christian eunuch. Other than that, she is going to have to make some decisions and compromises that will NOT guarantee her success. She could remain single, which would be the Apostle Paul's advice.

[@gilbertvirgo5672]

She's not looking for a perfect man. She asks Pastor John IF it is a dealbreaker. Pornography is a massive deal if you are the wife of a man addicted to it. Some men, by the spirit, have conquered their addictions to pornography (just read this comment section for proof!) -- it is far from impossible with God, and she has many a man to choose from.

[@chaboi7]

@@gilbertvirgo5672 also, she could try not having sex with anyone unless shes married to that man in the first place

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

@@jimkiser1429 umm there are still true Christian men in this world that don’t have any desire to watch this Satanic garbage

[@Bearlytherely]

He doesn't actually answer the question. Waste of time.

[@Emo8007]

is my girlfriends addiction to watching terrible reality tv shows about relationships then also a deal breaker? How does anyone in the world ever get married if they set these high standards

[@MrsFJohnson]

gunner kicks God has set those standards of purity in our flesh. When we commit sexual sin, we sin against our God FIRST, but also against ourselves (1 Corinthians 6:19). If your girlfriend in extremely vain or a busybody, then no. she may not be mature enough to marry.

[@Emo8007]

no one can get married if they must adhere to these standards, sounds like works based salvation

[@MrsFJohnson]

Marriage has nothing to do with salvation. You're saved if you believe on the name of Jesus Christ and repent of your sins. If you fail to keep repenting of your known sins, but instead engage in them without conviction, you should question whether you are in the faith. Marriage is a gift for some people. Not everyone is called to be married. Being prepared to be married requires maturity in faith. You don't have to be sinless to be married, you just have to be obedient to the call that Christ gave concerning your role (Ephesians 5:22-32, 1 Peter 3:1-7, Hebrews 13:4). Perfection is one - but not in our own strength or ability, but in the LORD. He has given us His spirit to enable us to carry out the things necessary in our flesh. We have been given His nature, that is greater than ours, so we may fulfill those things that seemed impossible. Our affections for sinful and worldly things can be swayed - sometimes forever, sometimes it's moment-by-moment - by the Spirit of God working in us to fulfill the good works He created us to walk in from the beginning of the world (Ephesians 2:10).

[@Emo8007]

it may as well be about salvation

[@MrsFJohnson]

How?

[@tessalogan586]

YES

[@rbypack]

For him to say that men viewing pornography “don’t give a rip” about the parents of the women, is just flat out wrong. Most men who view pornography care about what they are doing and carry a level of shame that most on the outside don’t understand. The sexual urge is the strongest there is, and for people to be shamed and called “unloving” for being victims of it is wrong. Why did Christ say, “forgive them for they no not what they do”? Man commits sin and don’t understand the full impact of those actions. We do our best, and when we know better, we do better...

[@LeoEnlightened]

I agree porn is bad, but i want to make the point, what about the men in the porn movies, or the trans, seems that its only offensive and wrong if its a women, just want that to sink in, think about it.

[@chrismcclain6518]

This answer angers me greatly... Not because I struggle with porn (Not in the way most men do) but when I did I prayed and prayed and wept and fought very hard for years. I would not even date because lust was so great I did not want to lead someone into premarital sex. I’ve remained single to this day despite slipping up with porn maybe once every few months compared to what was an every day thing. The reason this response angers me is because I’m not confident John Piper understands what porn addiction is…You don’t defeat porn addiction. God does. Suggesting that you can is a lie. There’s winning battles and winning the war. MAKE THE DISTINCTION! And give credit where it’s due acknowledging what men can do and what they cannot. When I was free of porn there was no change in my heart, daily prayer, or walk in Christ it just stopped…I was freed from it. To suggest that men have any control over defeating it is very misleading. What do I mean by control? I mean that you can take all the steps to remove temptations from you, but you can’t simply turn it off and here’s why… IT’S EVERYWHERE!!! It’s in movies, it’s on TV, it’s in music, it’s on KZbin, Reddit, social media, the internet, it’s in the air of modern society, it’s in the way women dress when they walk out that door. And if you’re a woman that signs up, joins, or supports any of those you’re a contributor 🙂 It’s easier for a man to kick crack addiction than porn. You at least have something you can physically avoid. This does not excuse men who are not remotely trying, but for men that are the worst thing you can do is reject him BECAUSE he hasn’t defeated it despite actively trying. What is trying? I will say if your husband or boyfriend is only struggling every other day and WAS doing it everyday HE’S TRYING! and probably sleep deprived too. It’s not the “no” part but the reasoning that’s so self-righteous. Why? First off, no woman is qualified to decide for themselves what that trying is because 1.They’re not men (proof enough) 2.As long as you support and join all the places of the internet/social media where it exists, don’t dress modestly, watch movies/tv shows, listen to music that pushes sexual content to men then you’re second handedly contributing to the problem. Fun fact: When men start an instagram account, unlike women, Instagram’s explore feed show them sexually explicit content because they know that will attract men to stay on their platform longer. So no, I think if men who are FIGHTING porn they have every right to marriage as anyone else who’s defeated it because those who defeated it did not defeat it themselves. It was not I but Christ. If the passions of the flesh are to strong for them let them be married. I’m very disappointed in Pipers response to this and I’m sure it’s damaging to a lot of men to hear it. Whoever reads this and thinks I’m a bitter…I am and it’s because I’m tired of seeing men being so discarded for their sexual sin when modern society (including the church and this pastor) contribute to it in every way for the sake of profit or entertainment. Disgusting.

[@swhite7929]

Marriage isn't something you're entitled to. You're still allowed to get married, you just can't demand that women be interested in marrying you - and we should not encourage women to lower their standards on sexual purity because of men's struggles. I wholeheartedly agree that women should cut back on social media, makeup, immodest clothing, promiscuity, and watching/listening to anything with degrading and explicit content - but they still get to reject a potential partner if they don't want to tie themselves to someone who still struggles with porn, and you have to accept that it's a very important message for young women to hear. Godly women are better off single than in a bad marriage, and unfortunately, porn is a homewrecker. I commend you for your honesty and your celibacy, but as painful as it might be for men to hear, it's not women's job to fulfill random men they have no obligation towards. That goes both ways btw. I struggle with laziness and selfishness - I don't consider myself a worthy potential wife yet, and if I'm never up to the standards of the men who are up to mine, so be it. In the meantime, men should uplift each other and support each other, but pastors are right to warn women of the dangers of bringing porn into a marriage.

[@douglaidlaw740]

That is entirely your choice. Talk it over with him. You don't need to bring religion into it. If it will stand between you and him, don't marry him. If he squeezes the toothpaste tube at the wrong end, don't marry him. While you two are quarrelling, intimacy will become impossible. There will be enough real differences to deal with. (I was lucky; over 50 years ago, I met my perfect match. So did our 3 girls.)

[@beithamidrash1960]

Man cannot cure his porn addiction, only God can cure. Don't be dependent upon yourself but on God. Marry the man who struggles with porn because he is a sinner just like you, he needs the same grace as you. If you reject him you are saying to him that I cannot marry you because you are a sinner and you are unlovable. A man watches porn out of ego, he needs love and forgiveness to be free from porn. That is the wife's job. Marriage is not all strawberries and daisies. It is a brutal, it is roses with sharp thorns.

[@FearofGodmom]

Do not be unequally yolked. Ladies, please do not partner with the sexually immoral.

[@JesusIsESSENTIAL]

@@beithamidrash1960 would you want to marry a woman who’s addicted to having sex with different men? Probably not. Same thing.

[@InezKatrina]

For those people who “unliked” this video, I pray for your salvation!