Is My Relationship With Janet Really About Love, Or Just Money? 🤔

[@H.1965-s8p]

Whatever makes you happy. It's your life, live it the way you want.

[@gkeller9958]

All relationships are transactional. Both parties are fulfilling their wants and needs, emotionally, physical and financial. The only difference with a huge age gap is the financial is more obvious, while those in a relationship at a closer age it’s an understanding. Believe me if you told your significant other that you quit your job or have no money left, she will be looking elsewhere. I’ve seen so many comments about the dating situation in the Philippines that say “as soon as the money runs out, they’re gone “. If you think of it, that applies everywhere. Don’t kid yourself !

[@Matakui2011]

1000%

[@js7un165]

All relationships are transactional, but that's okay!

[@jonpritz9838]

You are a jaded person and will never find true love You are looking at Relationships without factoring in love. Western perpective Philippines old school family values - love is love age has nothing to do with it. I've been married 31 years to my Filipina who is only 3 years younger than myself. You just don't understand the East and Asian values and most likey never will.

[@homebasebelgium359]

I think both you and Janet have the right attitude towards relationships, Mike.

[@Logan-Cassadine]

Definitely transactional. But not to worry, all relationships are. You just got a maid w/ benefits which is far cheaper than the bar route. It's what I intend to do when I go back also

[@wiv2631]

This is one of the most honest and useful videos I have seen on the overall subject of marriage and aging!

[@linhaton4957]

You’re a smart man to consider your future and hers. Getting old will happen to all of us and your plan is a good one. She cares for you and you will provide for her after you are gone. In the meantime, you both enjoy the relationship. It is your kind of love and it’s reality.

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

Thanks for your thoughtful comment.

[@imrandin5893]

Jst make sure ur money dont dry out..

[@keithadams2368]

Appreciate your honesty Mike

[@FilipinaUnfiltered]

I had the privilege of meeting you and Janet in person. She’s everything you said on this video. I saw nothing but love, respect and care between the two of you ❤

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

thank you so much Corin

[@CTOOffice]

If I ever get to the point of moving to the Philippines. Mike you'll be my go to guy for information. Bless you and Janet and wish you both success!

[@jeremypick4132]

Thank you for this, Mike. I really appreciate your transparency.

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

You're welcome.

[@bflorezruiz]

The answer to the question of whether it is a transactional relationship is very simple: If you didn't have a dollar in your pocket, would that woman still be with you? I don't think so, but the only person who knows for sure is her.

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

who would date you in the USA if you did not have a dollar in your pocket

[@bryantc1701]

@@mikesphilippineretirement I'd say not too many women would date a guy with no money unless he was young and had aspirations

[@Wuestenwiesel]

And what if it is not love? Who knows....but as long she respects you, treats you well and you have a good time together. Feelings are completely internally, you love a person and this has little to nothing to do how much this person loves you or not. So enjoy!!!

[@sascha2634]

'a little bit transactional' - old F 0 0 L and and just a walking ATM who pays foe everything lmao. 🤣 'it took her day upon day to see me and get comfortable talking to me' Yeah, she was cheking her best options😂

[@jimscholz2997]

I am happy for you both.. Thanks for sharing your life with us...

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

I'm glad you enjoyed the video!

[@Neal-1958]

Mike there is one key point here all need to keep in mind. Your happy! Nothin else matters. It’s no one business. I think you did the right thing by replacing her salary. I think you had the right idea. She can’t touch the money. It also put in place a way to prove she is not in it for the money. It also leaves her with a nest egg if something were to happen to you. And the money you give her family. That makes her not worry about her family having money to live on. Also look at how the family has and will continue to help you. But the most important thing is “YOUR HAPPY! As long as you are happy nothing else matters! She always seems happy too. No one or anything else matters beyond that. Anything anyone else has to say about your relationship does not matter! Live your life. Enjoy your relationship.

[@alhoward6514]

Thank you sir. Great video. Wish you a lot of luck and health. God bless

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

Thank you so much for your kind words!

[@Charles-rd6ku]

Great video Mike. Very honest

[@catherineH4785]

Now my husband and I are both retired, I enjoy being at home all the time, doing more cooking from scratch, gardening and crafts and making things, and I'm not bored at all, plus we travel as well. When working I didn't have time for that.

[@wanderingdoc5075]

Props to you Mike for being entirely honest. Not the lifestyle for me but luckily in the Philippines weekend all choose to do what we want to. I believe the rules for foreigners should not be any different than for local Filipinos. I've seen Filipinas stay loyal to a Filipino man for over a decade who brought in nothing financially. Simply out of love and attraction. There is no reason as a foreigner you should be treated any differently. Just IMHO.

[@herbwitt7710]

Janet is a complete package... God has blessed you my friend ❤.

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

She's the best, I'm so lucky to have her.

[@brucesmith9206]

Nice video, Mike. I met my wife when she was an OFW in 2002. Both of us worked in health care, our paths crossed, and the rest became history. There is a 12 year age gap between us. She was 44 at the time and a widow. We planned our future and bought a condo in Davao for a holiday home in 2012. Now, with both of us retired, we live in Davao and holiday in Canada. Obviously, we both have pensions. In late 2020, she had a chance to buy a beach front lot in Davao de Oro, and she was able to start a beach resort aided by her daughter, who lives in Davao. Now, at 67, she has something to add to her income when I am dead and buried. Some of our relationship is transactional, but it is based on love. When two people are together for a long time like we are, and both have an income, with overlapping financial responsibilities, of course, part of the relationship is transactional.

[@kevinacker9843]

Your not the only one who married an OFW, married my OFW for 32 years and counting.

[@ecinaj1202]

Thank you for this kind words about us filipina Mike. Appreciate it a lot ❤️

[@NarcisoJr-v7j]

On point Mike, good relationship. Happy for you.

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

Thanks for the support.

[@warrenrobinson1525]

Your advice strikes me as very thoughtful and wise. Thanks for sharing. 😊

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

You are so welcome!

[@vetgs]

At the core, all relationships are transactional, the only difference is what transaction/s keeps the relationship going. People sometimes look down on relations where the main transaction is money. Other relationships have a balance between protection, money, and emotional support. If you both were the same age and the same background, the transaction percentages are different than if there is a +15 age difference. In the end, like Chris Rock said, "Only women, children, and dogs get unconditional love." As men, we need to provide, so I would not take it personally when they call a relationship transactional.

[@richardkingham7183]

Excellent video presentation. Nice topic and succinctly and honestly put forward. Thank you Mike

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

Very welcome

[@hrhamada1982]

Transactional means "give me this, I'll give you that" Traditional means being kind to each other, just because it is the right thing to do, not because you get something from it

[@robinwood1358]

great video again, thanks Mike

[@leonidajaum9697]

I'm looking for a man like what you have now, family oriented, family values.I can do all the household chores as long as my partner respects me and course a genuine love to his wife...

[@manuelmoraleda9684]

Traditional is for love. Transactional is the business part. Your transaction is quite reasonable and expectations are clear. 😊

[@RealGaryGibson]

Your relationship looks traditional to me and I think those are the best with Filipinas. You and Janet both did great! ❤

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

I appreciate that Gary

[@klidkliduhos3632]

Mike, you are a nice and courageous man.

[@annabellehurley7636]

Your relationship as husband and wife is the traditional one. A housewife that takes care of the house and the husband that provides. Thats lovely.

[@andresmith9212]

This is not "traditional" This is dirty old man from the west using his yankee money to buy himself what he can't have in his home country and that is a cute little girl half his age to cater to him as he dictates all the while hiding behind the smokescreen of "Christianity". Go listen to a few more of his videos.

[@Vaderbill]

Mike one of your best videos! Your feeling for Janet come right thru! Glad you found your partner! Good info on the whole relationship. Love is wonderful when it's there! ❤

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

Thanks for watching and for your kind words.

[@jefferystrong6852]

I was with my Asawa for over 2 years before we got married. She took care of me when I had a health issue and takes care of the house. She gets after me about my health and is frugal with our money. Yes I support her family as they have been wonderful in accepting into the family. They have never asked for one peso. Every marriage is part transactional no matter which country you live in. Great marriages can happen here. You just have to put in the work.

[@MushagasheNative]

thank you as always for your informative content sir.

[@RoadsterDriver-ks3uc]

I totally agree Mike you explained it perfectly thanks

[@BelusTraveller]

What relationship in any country is not transactional lmao, Every relationship is. I mean seriously, The man provides for his wife, Western Lifestyle, Her not so much, I know many where the wife actually works the guy stays home with the kids, To me its crazy but what ever works,

[@haighton]

@BelusTraveller Being a 'trad wife' doesnt require any form of education, right? So a dumb blonde will do. That will not work for me. What can she possibly bring to the table? Nothing !!!

[@BIGFOOT-BC]

I am in my 5th year of a marriage to a young Filipina. My relationship seems to give her the benefit of appearance of status some better living standards and in return I get an occasional hint of love. Not what I want but I am in debt and have to stay the course for now.

[@Charles-rd6ku]

Mike Janet and mine sound to be about 98% the same and that's great😂

[@mirage711]

Don't take me as rude. But I guarantee you it's 100% transactional. If you don't believe it you're in Fantasyland.

[@andresmith9212]

He is in fantasyland.

[@jamesP9566]

Good one, Mike!

[@notsocrazyjohn5348]

I struggle to believe some of the comments, if it's got tits, floats or wheels it is going to be expensive. Just a fact of life. Seriously, if you care about someone you will want the best for them,spouse, children, friends, even local kids if you can see you are helping ensure a better life for them. How often do you see a Uhaul being towed behind the hearse. Our legacy is not money, it is the positive impact we have on the people around us whilst we are here. How many of us don't have spare money available, assuming we are not self centred pricks trying to take as much as we can from generally beautiful people with so little but paradoxically still so much to give. Just my two bobs worth. Cheers Aussie John

[@nottelling620]

HI MIKE , If you are happy , thats what counts. I stillthink you and JANET make a good couple. TY GOD BLESS CIAO

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it.

[@paulwerdak5888]

Great video of the truth Mike, thank you.

[@breakdownbill1]

Janet deserves the best. ❤

[@hammertyme8392]

Without a doubt, it's transactional. If you were broke, she wouldn't be with you. I live overseas and I'm married. There's no way my wife would be with me if I didn't provide.

[@tomhunter2623]

Mike this was a great informative video and thanks for being open and honest.

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

Thanks for watching! I appreciate your feedback.

[@Phil4me-p1i]

I enjoy your thoughts and presentation Mike. One question that came to mind as I was watching this video is when it comes to decisions for the family would you say it's 50/50, 60/40 or? Thanks!

[@koufax174]

I respect you Mike. I respect Janet also. I don’t see your relationship as transactional. You described it perfectly. I can see the love between you and Janet. It’s palpable. Not just words but real deeds. Admirable. I also respect Janet because she is traditional and not like to many Duma Filipina bloggers dancing around half dressed needy for attention misleading foreigners. You are a good role model for me when I’m ready to settle down.

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

Thanks for your kind words and support!

[@M.Bodark1608]

The important thing is that the money doesn't become a means to manipulate the woman in your life,it can happen in some cases, thank you Mike.

[@judekidder]

Mike you have a great partner. Totally agree nothing wrong with someone being a housewife. Like in the states when both work if there are kids who take care of them obviously not the parents. Hello Janet

[@Fantusdrake]

You n Janet both happy that all what's better

[@fuzznakano]

It sounds like you have done very well. Good job.

[@stanlysteemer4872]

I say both with women no money no love. It’s traditionally transactional. Guess what my marriage to a Philippine woman is to. She still needs me so she loves me.

[@rorybellamy2533]

Marriage is honorable. see how happy Janet is when she is caring for everyone in her household and friends , Proverbs 18:22 the one who finds a good wife has found something good... Mike is genuine in caring for Janet , they both made a promise . much respect for Mike n Janet

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

Thanks Rory

[@davidkaiser810]

All relationships are transactional. You have to give to get, work is a contract, you get paid for the work that you do, if you have a girlfriend, she gives you love and affection and he gives her support support

[@AccidentallyRob]

Everyone has a threshold for what they will accept. Kids, money to the family. Some are happy and accept it and some will not and will tell you you’re not happy. Be happy.

[@lannyg]

I met my wife on filipina cupid and it's really worked out well. it did take alot of filtering through all the women and video chatting is a good way.

[@gibblespascack1418]

Building that fund for Janet also has some other advantages. If there is a point where the income is temporarily stopped, it will be there as an emergency fund, either to support the family or to get you back to the US to fix the SS income issue. Planning ahead is the best way to go.

[@CaliKid18]

Thanks for being Real Mike!! Great Relationship❤

[@jonpritz9838]

Helping family is a blessing - why people think helping Janets family is anything but a blessing and love is beyound me Philippines is different than US - they value family and senior citizen They still have a sense of community. Her family is your family and vice versa - that is what is the value of family Suggestion is its not Janets family its both of yours family - thats Philippines perpective - Stop looking at it thru the western perpective - you are living the Philippine dream. you left the West adopt to Philippine family values - its the number 1 thing in life is love God Bless you and Your family

[@Pr3ct]

Every relationship is transactional.

[@onysanchez]

You got a very good deal Mike

[@paulburney5713]

Thanks for sharing Mike. Your so lucky to have find Janet. I hope both of you enjoy your relationship

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

I am so happy to have her in my life.

[@asjka67]

Hello, sorry for my poor english, i just would like say : i agree with you, with your ideas. But the point is find a good woman. You are lucky, you find Janet very fast. But it's not always like this. Anyway, it's a good video, thank you for posted.

[@peterharrison2608]

For all relationships there needs to be something given/provided by each party. Just like for any contract to be legal there has to be consideration from each party (English law, don't know how this statement translates to American law). Anyway, it is an equal exchange of value - some people may see this as transactional - but it is just the way of the world.

[@haighton]

@peterharrison2608 In my neck of the woods, with a 'no-fault'-divorce, its very easy and cheap to have and get a divorce. Secondly, the money/wealth owned by one party stays with that one party. Thank goodness, we dont have that blimey stupid American system where the 'poor' party turn out rich after a divorce. And bec everybody knows this, a poor party will never marry a rich party bec the poor party knows he/she will stay poor (after divorce). Or it is about real love. And even then the rich party write a testament/will excluding his/her poor party.

[@newafricanforum]

My girl is always different 😂😂😂

[@AlphaInvesting]

You bought her your just blind to it your 70yrs old she worked 6 days 12 hour shifts and here you are her way out of poverty Is there anything wrong about contractional relationship NO but don’t try to sugar coated own it and be content with it that’s what a real man does

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

thanks for your insight

[@jameshudson5022]

I read some of the comments, everyone in the world wants Security

[@kennethso6811]

I’ve been watching these types of video for awhile. I think a lot of men come to the Philippines with very limited income. They expect a lot from these women and give nothing back in return. We’re not young anymore. It’s got to be transactional.

[@myraflorvaldez9790]

She's a good catch,getting rare nowadays...

[@BarakTheWonderer]

That makes sense.

[@Matakui2011]

Men, she makes you happy and you give her a stability. What else matters?

[@PatrickFoley-vf3lr]

If your money ran out and she had to support you, the 'love' would disappear, as it usually does. We like to think otherwise.

[@valmir144]

And this would happen only in the Phillippines?

[@pietro13]

Outside philippines or other Asian countries the chances of a 20 year old girl going with a 60 year are next to zero. So it is all transactional and all that bullcrap of love is delusional talk.

[@ecinaj1202]

Mike help me find one. I am 40 yrs old widow with 1 kid 10 yrs old. Got my own house and car and have a stable job I work one of the hospital here in Dumaguete. Just a good man that's all. I don't need anything material just pure love. ❤

[@4528-e1y]

You are on target. This is the way it should be.

[@donpyle4926]

Great job on this topic Mike

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

Thanks for watching!

[@KEVIN-p7j3p]

Hi Mike. Your relationship would be less complicated if Janet was at least over 45yrs old. You said in the past that you expect Janet to help you later in life when you are in you 80's and may need more help, But, Janet does not appear too excited about that, I would make sure Janet knows that you would also hire additional help so those years would not be so bad for here. I think that would make both of You happy and have more confidence that all will be fine in the end,

[@kevinsargeant762]

The costs of a good partner/wife should never be underestimated? In the west is the same but here like you said having a traditional wife with family values and respect that they show in abundance is what any man should want .My wife gets 25 k a month ,she buys the food and does whatever she wants with the rest of money . She may help her family or buy herself something so for me every relationship is the same ,difference here is the women make you feel wanted and or so beautiful.

[@maxhames499]

Ive never commented on here. Your a good man. Im jealous.

[@ricks3344]

Of course you recommend christian filipina since you get a commision for every click. There are just as many horror stories as any other dating site.

[@markt4297]

I was on Filipina Cupid for awhile and also looked at Christian Filipina (as a none paying member). The same scammers FC were also on CF and CF is very expensive.

[@bryonhogg485]

Yeah - All the Phil vloggers say go to that dating site

[@kevink1214]

some other vlogger said that Christian filipina reaches out to all vloggers to promote their services, even if you never used them. So many take them up on their offer just for the income. Their site is expensive and claims they vet everyone. Another site completely free is Date in Asia. You do not need to pay to join, nor pay money to send and read messages. The owner of the site runs a tight ship and if anyone gets asked for money the woman will be permanently banned from the site. Not all paid sites are gonna be worry free experience.

[@ovlov245]

@@kevink1214m8, they all be scams. I've been on them all over the last 9 years and CP is the worst cos it's super expensive and they make plenty of money so much so they call you and promise a deal which is just as expensive hahaha. Go there and find someone. I do date sites to keep me interested. Later I get sick of the obviously fake people and cut it out.

[@jsully4064]

Was lucky was born a Catholic, was able to reconnect with the Church because of my wonderful Pinay. Which there are a lot of Catholics in the Philippines. Definitely the relationship we have is real love. Women are not all stupid in the Philippines. Neither are they in the US. Most girls in the US would never date a homeless guy, of course they are going to look at your money and ask themselves if you will be able to support them long term. Who wouldn't? Great video, just remember it may take quite a while to filter though the women on the dating sites (especially if they are free dating sites) to find the one thats a good match for you. Thank you, Mike...Jim

[@wisconsinfarmer4742]

There is the strong element of caring in your marriage. life is empty without that.

[@reggie5495]

If you literally pay for everything then it's transactional. 99% of relationships with filipinas are going to be transactional to some extent. If you want to find out what the relationship is based on insist on splitting everything 50/50 or tell them you don't want to support them anymore and it won't be long before you never see them again.

[@CodgersCorner]

If she is doing all the domestic work and child care and your footing the bill then its a 50 50 split. It's team work.

[@reggie5495]

@CodgersCorner would you say it was team work if you hired a maid, a chef and a bar girl for other activities? Of course not. All are transactions done for money but you're just calling it something different.

[@Brandoloian]

I hope it is on love. And even if isn’t for any expat who goes to the Philippines or any country that still has traditional family values and hasn’t been corrupted by greed and materialism. At least Filipinas offer expats good sex and good food. Where as women here in the USA/the Western World in general just take your money, without any sex or food.

[@Peace-no1]

Yes, I understand it can be smart....

[@johnlanier3616]

I am happy for you

[@michaelchristophergutierre7244]

Transactional is a element of traditional marriages (and modern ones), most women choose men that can take care of them and the family they create From a biblical perspective or a social science perspective this is fact and not a negative. But transactiinal is one element. Commitment, faithfulness, working together, love, and trust are other elements. The important thing is you both do your part. And together can build a beautiful restionship. Best.

[@haighton]

@michaelchristophergutierre7244 When she and I are not able to have a conversation about current affairs, politics, sports, religion, education et al then I dont want her. It will not work. If she doesnt have a sense of humor then it will not work If she doesnt want to work, it will not work (its important she can manifest her cognitive and/or manual talents even when its only flipping burgers at McD) if the age gap is too wide/big, then it will not work. I am not gonna F a woman who could have been my (grand)daughter (age wise)

[@TexasTopBBQ]

Sheesh. I watch too many of your videos, Mike. LOL. Regarding the transactional: If you have a girlfriend leave her job, move her in with you, then just kicking her out may not be well advised. LOL.

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

thanks for watching...no one is kicking Janet out!

[@TexasTopBBQ]

@@mikesphilippineretirement I was referring to one of your previous videos where you explained that. 🙂

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

yes The Bob video. sorry for the miss understanding

[@kennethsouthard6042]

You and Janet are both adults and if you love each other and the relationship works for both of you, that's between you both and shouldn't concern anyone else. Especially, not anybody in the KZbin peanut gallery. That being said, I do think it's a problem when a man who is multi decades older than a woman has a child with her. By the way, whether you are Joe Blow in the Philippines or some rich CEO or celebrity, I feel the same way. To me it also doesn't matter how much she wants the child or if the man has never had children before or just feels for whatever reason he wants to again. Sure anybody can get hit by a bus, but the chances of a 70ish man (especially with health problems) living long enough to be an influence vs a distanct memory in their child's life are slim. Alos, wen the man has literally no money and does this as a means of boosting Social Security, this also makes the child transactional.

[@underdogrescueofflorida2313]

Human beings are complex and yet other human beings are all we've got. Depending on yours and Janets moral core with a side of unemotional financial planning you are doing as well as any relationship or future aging needs can hope for.

[@stan1027]

My little opinion, from what I've learned from listening, is that there is no concept of adulthood in the Philippines. There is only family. In western society, once a person reaches a certain age, they are expected to make their own way in the world. Sometimes parents will continue to support the child beyond that age, but that's not the norm. And it is extremely rare in western society for the parents to depend on their kids for support, although it does happen. So any expat who moves there needs to adjust their thinking to the Philippine way of doing things.

[@garrylafferty100]

That because parents have social security they dont need there kids money to eat philippines no safety net

[@nycpat5690]

My advice only the individual can answer this question ? Is there really love between each other or it's only about financial gain ? 🤔

[@Mikeyyyy_L]

I’m biased, but I’m being honest here. Mike and Janet have a great relationship that I bet anyone would love to have. Yes it is traditional and also a bit transactional, but if both side are ok with how that is then fine. Mike you did it the right way. You wanted someone 24/7 so you replaced the support Janet was giving her family. And like you said it keeps you in good with them. They help you move and also watch pj when you travel. Also you’re providing for Janet’s future.

[@karlenzmann]

Exactly…

[@GordonKistler-ns2df]

It's MR SAVE A HO!

[@m.y.4345]

It’s always transactional. Without the lifestyle, money and security she’d be gone in a flash. Her love is based on these things. When your money is gone, so is her love.

[@robertboll1503]

Yes and no. She has to survive and she has an obligation to take care of her family.

[@m.y.4345]

⁠yes, exactly, you’re making my point. It’s always about the money. Her love is conditional on your ability to improve & prove for her life and that of her family. When your money runs out, her love will be gone. It’s a hard pill to swallow but just think about it.

[@m.y.4345]

Keep this in mind too…she’s in the prime of her life while most of us are in our 4th quarter or on borrowed time. Can you keep up with her “needs”? If so, great but for how long? And…are you really? Do you really want to know what you don’t know?

[@m.y.4345]

I love the Philippines and have been many times. We have to keep a healthy grip on reality & develop realistic expectations.

[@jerrynewman449]

I totally agree with you Mike and my Asawa is like Janet.

[@ericg9092]

You found a great girl, Mike. Love the video.

[@mikesphilippineretirement]

Thanks for watching and for the kind words.

[@edsteward7717]

People are really judgemental. The same relationship in the US, and nobody bats an eye. Not like you're renting a girl. You're married.

[@carlosmark9840]

Good for you I would do the same thing if I decide to move. You have a very good deal.