Is my relationship with my therapist fake?

On Ask Kati Anything podcast ep. 208, licensed therapist Kati Morton explains how we can get past the feeling that our relationship with our therapist is “fake,” how to support our students without being triggered ourselves, and how to know if we are retraumatizing ourselves. She then explains how we can know if we are a narcissist, what it means to process our emotions, and what we can do if we are ashamed of our life.
Audience questions:
1. How do I get past the feeling that the relationship with my therapist is “fake”? I have heard you say that you should feel ‘validated’ and ‘seen’ by your therapist, but I can’t get past the fact that the only reason she is talking to me is because I am paying her. Maybe this is my ‘child of emotional neglect’ talking, but the idea that anyone is interested in helping me is very alien but that doesn’t change the fact that my therapist isn’t my friend, never will be, and wouldn’t choose to talk to me if I didn’t hand over a lot of money. What am I missing? I do not understand why I should think that this person cares for me or ‘sees’ me. I know I emotionally ‘need’ the sessions, but I don’t understand how I should feel about this. 01:11
2. I work at a school as a teacher and I also work for the before and after program. I do a lot at the school. I work with a lot of different types of students. When I was a little kid I had a lot of trauma. When any kid comes to school with a bruise I think the worse. Sometimes it’s hard for me to see the kiddos cry. Some of the kids do come from rough backgrounds. They tell me things like no one loves me and cares about me. I try my best to let them know I care without crossing the student teacher boundaries. When I get home I just cry because I feel so little all over again. Because I know how they feel. My question is how do I show my students that I care without emotionally hurting myself or triggering myself. 12:26
11:01 ATTACHMENT WORKSHOP katimorton.com/the-shop/p/att...
3. How do I know if I am retraumatizing myself? (As an add-on comment: my ED was related to trauma. I worked and thought I did overcome the problem with eating. When my eating disorder suddenly came back, I wondered if this could be a sign of being retraumatized? 20:26
4. How do I know if I am narcissistic? And what is real empathy? 25:17
5. I have a question about processing emotions, feeling them and moving through them. How much is too much, and how much is not enough? And mainly, how does this change when it comes to processing something big like grief? I lost two people very close to me recently. I always try to stuff down emotions and don’t want to feel them, so I’m trying really hard to notice and feel them with this because I know it’s healthy and I need to. Sometimes it’s constant and it’s wayyy too much for me to handle and sometimes it’s nothing. What’s a healthy amount of emotion? 27:58
Hi Kati, what can I do if I feel ashamed of my life? Ashamed of what happened to me, ashamed of how much it affects me today and how little the events really were... I'm so desperate about everything that isn't working anymore and everything I would so deeply wish but can't do anymore.... And the pressure from others that I should functionate again is immense. How can I come out of this "being ashamed of my life"? 38:55
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[@craftyandtherapy2227]

As a therapist, I am working at two organizations. One organization pays $28 per hour, the other pays quite a bit more. Why have I not left the other position? Because of the clients. We love hearing your story.

[@FlorenceT_Ogden]

After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!

[@TeresaF.Dicken]

I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how??

[@Latasha-Vasser]

Thanks to my co-worker (Alex) who suggested Ms Claudia Vecchi Nese .

[@Latasha-Vasser]

She's a licensed broker in the states 🇺🇸

[@Latasha-Vasser]

After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.

[@VickiJ_Maurer]

The smiles on my family face is heart warming, every week when give the news that our $32,000 biweekly profit have been received to our digital asset portfolio

[@blauespony1013]

Actually, I like that the relationship with my therapist is not "real", so I don't have to ask them how they feel, don't have to care about their emotions, interests, how their day went ... basically I don't have to tune into their needs and that is quite a relief.

[@loveandlight6436]

Lately, my doctor looks like a haggard mess. I've been seeing a therapist under same roof who has helped me with the anxiety and depression I got from being a hairstylist and ppl dumping on me day in and day out. When I learned what to do (tell them I'm not qualified to help them with those things-- duh, except they train us in school to spot domestic violence. It's a surprisingly stressful job) POINT BEING my doctor was appalled at the notion of having those boundaries and said she would be offended if her stylist said that to her. She is the type who if I bet money, dumps on her stylist. I feel like she projects onto me, meanwhile I put myself together for my appointment she doesn't put herself together for her JOB. Idk what to do...

[@blauespony1013]

@@loveandlight6436 If the doctor shames you for your boundaries, is there a chance to change your doctor? Otherwise maybe silent treatment and hum a song in your head? I wish you good luck (and now I feel bad for my hairstylist ... though she tells me about her kids, we are kind of even).

[@loveandlight6436]

@@blauespony1013 this advice is so helpful!! thank you for your kindness :) you seem like a realistic, down to earth, cool person (based on your op and thoughtful even humorous advice.) Love the hum a song part!! That made me smile & actually lightened the pressure, I feel about the situation. Silent treatment (?) As in say as little as possible? That's my big issue, she asks a lot of questions and it's been more helpful to figure out meds bc it's way more than 15 minutes. But now it feels like she is just curious about me more than is professional. IDK I've only seen 2 psychiatrist and the first one spent no time so the meds didn't work. They actually backfired. So I'm scared to change!! --BTW-- From my pov, the fact you have a therapist/ solution focused and have a relaxed, friendly, welcoming vibe, it's doubtful you are one to trauma dump on a hair stylist. Many women treat the salon like it's supposed to be a spa and therapy and fabulous hair... I get that it's not easy being a woman let alone a mom, especially a single mom, (I know all too well) but boundaries. Geez. I don't expect my therapist to do my hair lol. That might have been a better route to take... make that joke... ultimately leading to "oh, you DON'T have a therapist...?!" A little bit of 'guided discovery' 🧘‍♀️💫♥ I was fortunate to experience many long term clients, we had a mutual exchange and it was life enhancing. Sadly I heard stylists dumping on their clients too!!! 😳 some clients like drama, some were just like, lol you could tell, suffering. All the best, thanks again 👍 😘 🙏 😊

[@blauespony1013]

@@loveandlight6436 Thank you for your very kind words. The mean thing about questions is that they compell us to answer. If you don't want to, you have to say "no" to a person. Setting boundaries did not work, so saying "no" directly does not seem to be an option (only if you want to escalate things. Than you can simply repeat your sentence until the other person gives up) or you can refuse to answer any question you deem to private (that is a way of escalating things, too) by simply not speaking. Or, if you want softer options: Only answer their question as short as possible (for example: A yes/no-question needs only a yes or a no answer, no more explanations - I think this one might be the easiest for you) or you can ask them a question back. Maybe even return the question that is too private. And when you get an irritated reaction you can say it is too private for your taste. So if the other person is uncomfortable ... Mirroring another persons behavior can be quite eye-opening (but that can be confrontative, too, depending on roles etc.). Or you can ask them why they need the answer to that question instead of mirroring. Maybe there is a good explanation. And if they say it would impair your answer if you knew, you can ask them to tell you the reason after your answer. A lot of people dump on other people. Boundaries are hard and very subjective. Some people love to listen, some hate it. We all have to be attentive to others.

[@TheLesExit]

Valid and so fascinating. For me I love showing my therapist care too and I'm thankful she has let me show care towards her in many ways. It makes our connection feel stronger and that connection is important to me for opening up.

[@Gemma2811]

Im training to be a therapist and I truly believe that if a therapist is in the job with the passion to help people they will be genuine and congruent with you at all times showing unconditional positive regard. They will honour and value your trust.

[@SweepTheLeg2023]

🤔😡 *My therapist keeps telling me that I’m obsessed with vengeance* … *We’ll see about that*

[@angko-pe]

Thanks for replying to my add on question (Q1). I actually don't have BPD, but I have abandonment issues due to severe emotional neglect in childhood. I was adopted as an infant and have been told my entire life that I am unwanted and unlovable. I have been "fine" my entire life, meaning I have been dealing with my shit as best as I can, but it wasn't until I started therapy in 2022 that everything fell apart. My therapist was not equipped to work with my kind of issues, and she ended up making things much worse instead of better. That's when this huge wound opened up, and it's like I am a different person now. So my new therapist is the one I'm talking about in my question. I have also been diagnosed with DID since ending things with my old therapist. My new therapist is helping me deal with my DID. PS. I've taken your attachment workshop and it helped a ton. Thanks! But I clearly need more.

[@ManyWeidman]

Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it.

[@DavidVelasquez9]

there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@ManyWeidman]

its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.

[@DavidVelasquez9]

this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.

[@mygoodeyeclosedCC]

Therapy is not meant to last forever because mental dis-ease is supposed to improve with a treatment plan. If a patient happens to bond with a provider, not only is that part of the therapeutic alliance, but it’s a benefit to the patient’s progress bc it shows them insight about learning to trust themselves and others. Therapists are like park rangers, we can help navigate you along the wild lands but the implication is that we help you so that you can continue your journey out there. And after you go, we can help the next wounded patient in need.

[@lemsip207]

Someone on KZbin likened the therapist to being the one in the front passenger seat while the client is driving the car. The therapist is more like the navigator but the driver makes the final decisions about the route.

[@VHoffses]

Your segment on grief and emotions is top notch Katie - one of your best pieces I've heard. Thank you so much

[@justsomeguy583]

I've been in therapy for over a year, and this video almost felt better spent. Thank you SO much. And I'm so sorry about your dad.

[@cindyfoster1351]

Shame, guilt, embarrassment, anger, sadness, all part of my past. I'm learning to live with a different mindset. I did the best I could at the time, with the information and skills I had at the time.

[@runw1ththehunted]

Thank you for posting Katie. 🌻❤️

[@stoffls]

About grief: my experience, when my mom died was that the grieving started when it became clear that she was terminally ill, a few weeks before her death. It really hit me a few days before she actually died, when a doctor said it is a matter of days, not weeks, as I had hoped. The first two months after her death I was unable to work productively, though I tried. Grief came and went in waves for about a year. And it never really went away totally, but I came to terms with it. But everybody experiences this differently, but one thing is sure: it will not be so overwhelming after a while. And if it is, then cry if you feel like it.

[@Touay.]

Many thanks for answering my question. Q1 (first part). I think you got it right, the factor that makes it particulaly hard is that i am also autistic ... with cptsd - (from the neglect and abuse). You asked about my other relationships... i gave up on those years ago. They were always so difficult and confusing and exhausting. If i maybe deal with some of the childhood stuff, maybe i will be able to improve on that!

[@user-kk8vc9ck3t]

The first time I saw a psychiatrist I felt that he was pretty cold towards me. At first I dismissed that feeling, but subsequent events confirmed my suspicion. I can see his point. My dad was paying out of his pocket for me to go to a private mental hospital, and all I could talk about in therapy was how my dad messed me up. My psychiatrist had a point, but I still think he should have given me more credit. I think a lot of that pdoc's reaction to me was due to certain aspects of my situation. I was not the only person bringing baggage into that relationship.

[@Surfer8652]

I remember having this feeling very intensely when I was briefly in therapy for drug addiction and being a recovering people pleaser. Once the idea got in my head, I couldn't shake it even though I knew it was irrational, and I ended up leaving. Since I had been taken advantage of in the past, I had a reflexive reaction to immediately terminate any relationship that felt exploitative or manipulative. Was also going through post acute withdrawal from multiple drugs so was extra combative at times. Still not sure if that was a great idea or not, but I've been doing better since then.

[@juliemickens1697]

Good analogy about covering the wire ends.

[@ihartevil]

Thank you so much for your silent screaming video Partly why i felt like i needed it i been dealing with fraud on my credit card and issues happened with the bank trying to get me a new one i wanted to make sure i didnt fall back into my old bad habits and being able to type about them made me feel better

[@themothman3726]

I've been in and out of therapy for at least 10 years. Most of that time was spent not questioning how tangible my relationship was with my therapist and I gained a lot from my sessions. That changed over the past couple of years. I've been getting less and less out therapy, I feel like I've done a lot of hard work related to being in abusive relationships, emotionally absent parents, ADHD, etc. Stuff that still stings a little bit I'm not hung up on a lot of that stuff anymore. Now I just feel like I'm a solution rather than a person. I've always been problem solver both personally and later in life professionally. It's become lonely and I'm just tired. Solutions, friendships, relationships, I don't find myself wanting them specifically. The thing is that I enjoy helping people and managing chaos but sometimes I'd kill just for the fleeting moment of a hug to feel like a human. It never comes though. There is always some sort of ethical/professional wall or reason why others can't show up. It reminds me of how I felt when I attempted suicide.

[@slr4092]

Before I even watch this, I can tell this is going to be heavy. I started seeing my therapist 20 years ago in college and reconnected for about a year now and my depression still makes me question this.

[@flowerchild89]

Same!!!

[@jackovoltraids5937]

Kati, I don't always agree with what you conclude, but somehow you make me feel better anyway. Thank you for what you do.

[@leonievh1223]

Thanks for sharing this❤

[@harrisonweston8681]

Hi Katie, My name is Blair and I’m a long term listener of your podcast from Ontario, Canada. Thank you for everything you’re doing for the mental health community! Recently, I bought my first condo. I am overjoyed that I have a job and family situation which allows me to achieve this milestone earlier than most in life (at 31)- however, even four months after moving in, I live in constant fear of things breaking. Some days, I’m at a point where I feel the urge to leave a work shift because I’m afraid I will come home to find my condo burnt to the ground after leaving the oven or a light on…or that I’ll find it flooded because a toilet leaked, a pipe burst, etc. It’s a lot like being a helicopter parent, but with a property instead of a kid. Every time I hear water running upstairs, neighbors hammering or nightly creaks every house makes, I am horrified it’s going to cost me thousands of dollars or that by talking to the condo board about it, they’ll either assume I’m “crying wolf” or gaslight me by asking “why I waited so long to tell them about ” in the event it’s *actually* an unfolding disaster. Is this normal? How can I get over it and enjoy my new space, while also not pissing the condo board off by constantly bombarding them with a list of minor issues that I think are masquerading as emergencies? Any insight you can share would be greatly appreciated. Love your content- keep up the great work!

[@MountainsoftheHeart]

I absolutely love the idea of work me vs home me. This is so important. I love my work, but it isn’t particularly feminine. It feels so nice to come home and put on something pretty.

[@brihawks]

Thank you for all your work. Question: Everyone talks about journaling, but how do you get started? My anxiety and perfectionism make me worry that I'll do it wrong somehow, or I'll just sound stupid.

[@christineewing3492]

I've been seeing the same therapist for 2 and a half years. In the first session I asked her if she was planning to move on to another job/position anytime soon. She said, "I'm not going anywhere." She has her own practice. Yes I have to pay but she gives substantial discounts to clients on very low incomes, like me. In the past, I've seen a lot of counsellors who work in the public system and have gone to other positions for whatever reasons. It can be devastating when they leave.

[@tracy8836]

Kati, don't forget that the self-employed also must be totally responsible for their own retirement; there is no company matching plan; and you also have to pay for your own medical/dental/vision insurance outright. Those are the big expenses that no one notices.

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

I feel that last one as well

[@flowerchild89]

Hi Katie! 👋 I really enjoy your channel!

[@Katimorton]

Thanks so much for saying so! 😊

[@whitneylee5993]

Love you Katie ❤

[@nancyliawoods]

Yay, here we go! Coffee in hand ❤

[@flowerchild89]

Same here 😊 ☕

[@leporiaantic]

Hey Kati- I was wondering how you may approach "toe-stepping clients" like myself (clients who may actually be a burden, inconsiderate, or have disregard for others) and how therapists view them. I have noticed I've acquired some narcissistic tendencies from my mother and father that I have been trying to work through. I realize that in today's world, you have to be "perfect" and stay out of the way- this includes moral perfectionism, which I think is somewhat toxic. That is not to say we shouldn't have repercussions, but some of us genuinely don't have a proper moral compass and truly don't know better, but we still need to fess up, face the music, face consequences, and do the right thing moving forward. Anyways, how does healing and a therapeutic relationship differ for clients who are "toe-steppers", and how is trust established? How do you hold them accountable?

[@CJ-ov1pl]

I tried therapy twice. Both horrible. First guy basically called me unattractive (not hot enough to compete), the next called me hateful. I think I'm done.

[@user-kk8vc9ck3t]

I'm hopelessly incompetent at so many things. I have two checking accounts with two banks, and both of them are shut down. When I get those accounts straightened out I will purchase some of your merchandise. I guess I could send a money order, but I'd probably mess that up too. There are other worthy entities wanting me to donate to them too.

[@moisesrosas7916]

Kati cuando tienes duda de tu terapeuta lo mas problable es que si lo sea. Es decir que si sea falso. No debería haber duda, ni dudas con tu terapeuta. Yo pienso.

[@ababy6074]

Hi Kati ❤❤

[@stacib1992]

One time I cried for 2.5 days and then i got a cold. So i try to avoid crying. The examples you gave of the narcissist matched my latest ex exactly. I have not been able to deal with men with like 3 exceptions. I am very not ready for a relationship with anyone because of my ex. Im very pessimistic towards people these days. I havent been this pessimistic towards society since teen years when i was deep in my ed. I see a therapist every week and she gives me extra time because im her last client of the day. She knows theres so much inside of me. I have a question of how do i deal with watching my grandmas alzheimers progressing? How do i trust people again? How do i connect to people again?

[@loveandlight6436]

Good questions. I feel ya on the narc thing for sure. Trust? Connect? That's the last thing I want bc I've been surrounded by narcissistic abuse all my life. Ppl who only want things from me. I think that being around the right ppl will make it possible. So I'm learning how to stop being narcissistic supply (narc bait!) It's challenging having been conditioned to be food to them, and mixed that up with love & Trust. Sooo, connection is easy, learning to trust myself after all the gaslighting which connections are healthy and dealing with the rejection now I am more up front and kindly reject them first. For now, that looks like a fake wedding ring too ;)

[@loveandlight6436]

So sorry about your grandmother

[@stacib1992]

@@loveandlight6436 I used to wear a fake promise ring around too to keep people away. And good for you for trying to work on yourself :)

[@shadowfreddy4044]

I rarely speaking about myself my doctor say I suffer from fatigue , depression, Anixtey when it comes to fatigue is a family thing that suffer throughout the family anyway I do suffer from sickle cell that cause me to feel tired and have pain as well my mental state isn't great when it comes to family are relationship isn't good I decided to push everyone away since I noticed people push me away first I lost friends and family are not close and not nice i can go on and on with more details about my life but i stop caring about myself

[@meherenow]

The relationship with a therapist is real..but it’s a real professional relationship where skills are exchanged for money not a real personal relationship where someone choose to seek out your company of their own free will. The distinction is really important. You can trust a professional relationship and experience significant change from it if the therapy works but it’s essentially a one sided relationship where the focus is always on the professional or therapeutic goals for one person..the client not an equal power relationship

[@christinelamb1167]

That is a very descriptive and accurate description of the therapeutic relationship. 👍It is not a friendship, but it is a very important relationship, nonetheless. Because of the unequal power differential, it is crucial to be careful when choosing a therapist. There are many very good therapists, but there are also a ton of really terrible therapists out there!

[@gracechapel2464]

Is it normal for software to be so involved with therapy today? I feel like my therapist spends more time paying attention to the computer than me. I was given a list of 15 disorders on a computer screen, from anxiety to thought disorder, and asked to pick one. What happened to just being asked questions instead of being expected to determine my own diagnosis to fill out a software form? Then when I complained I didn’t want to deal with the software side of it she said it was required by insurance or I couldn’t get treatment. She seemed frustrated I was so upset by this.

[@Jamiey-]

How do I develop a relationship with an online therapist regardless of sincerity

[@katherinemnusa]

My therapist hit me a blow…in the stomach…I told her everything, I am being verbally abused at home and I told her it doesn’t help to work with her because I go home to the same treatment. She said have him come in and she can help him understand how to help me by not verbally abusing me. He came in with me and and she turned everything around to blame me, and she knows a lot because she went to school for it. So now all I hear he mimics her words…along with the filthy words..currently I am waiting for a phone call to report this shoddy treatment.

[@sarahdixon7304]

I gave up on mine when I ended up counselling her. She was biting the sides of her fingers n then did a “Sharon Stone.” No joke…. It was at that moment, I knew I was healed n never went back.

[@scottybthebrand]

How can a therapist help two people with attachment issues uncouple?

[@Amber24426]

A therapist can’t force a certain outcome, but they could potentially help a couple become better aware of their own respective attachment issues, and with that increased awareness one or both individuals in the couple may find themselves better equipped to make that change at that point.

[@jmtrs79]

It’s alarmingly amazing how many therapists just “take the job” and don’t really care.

[@sofie1065]

That is sad. My experiences fortunately are better. Hope you will find someone you can really connect to. ❤

[@meherenow]

The relationship with a therapist is real..but it’s a real professional relationship where skills are exchanged for money not a real personal relationship where someone choose to seek out your company of their own free will. The distinction is really important. You can trust a professional relationship and experience significant change from it if the therapy works but it’s essentially a one sided relationship where the focus is always on the professional or therapeutic goals for one person..the client not an equal power relationship

[@ElijahPerrin80]

Any patient who is not aware of the difference between kindness and friendship, being friendly over flirting or the difference between a professional relationship and real connection needs to understand reality vs fantasy while showing the therapist exactly how you are thinking. Talk to your therapist about your emotional position and listen to what they have to say, you will be surprised at the answer and it may be very helpful to you to learn the truth and how to understand your emotions.

[@antonialovesyou4462]

Heather Taplett in Clackamas County Oregon seemed like she was in the wrong job.

[@oneofthetrue]

It's difficult for me to have a real relationship with my therapist, I'm new to therapy and have only been in 3 or 4 sessions, and I'm going through money issues so I am sensitive with my money and because I pay for therapy, I can't really feel a connection, I want to tell her some things but I'm scared.. I've told her I started therapy bc I feel like I've bpd, I've been told I might have bpd, I've read a lot of symptoms and I really relate, I've searched why this why that and it mostly lead to bpd. I want to get tested and I don't want to do many sessions cause I can't really afford it. I believe my therapist isn't struggling with money that much, because I've noticed some things, (though I can never be sure) so I'm not comfortable with therapy that much and idk how to tell her all those things I'm thinking

[@S.G.W.Verbeek]

Therapy is for those who have money. A good therapist is €200 an hour. I would rather spend that amount eating more healthy food for a month.

[@deannwagner9961]

A therapist may not be able to do their work if they don’t get paid, most of us can’t do volunteer work full time, but if all the benefit they received was money, it wouldn’t be worth it.

[@Loser_1.]

Conclusion: so therapists love therapy because it helps them better understand themselves and others.And for this cycle to continue they need money just like any other humen being, huh ! fair enough i see nothing wrong with that.

[@elainehiggins713]

I don’t care how much you train, how much money you make, your overhead or anything like that. I care whether you have anything to show for what you do. Are people really helped? Are they? How do you gauge your success in your work? How can you show the results?

[@clinch2010duce]

Hi Kati can you do a reaction of Norah Vincent. Reporter that researched the struggles of men. Or can you elaborate on the topic. Because she committed suicide

[@juton74]

I disagree, I'm sure narcissists do have empathy. That makes them so good at lovebombing. But they surely don't get so far as to feel or admit that they made a mistake! It's like they switched it on and off, they only use it when it helps them.

[@christinelamb1167]

Narcissists have what's called "intellectual empathy", meaning they have a good understanding of what makes people tick. But the clincher is that they DON'T ACTUALLY CARE how people feel. Their "empathy" is only useful to them in getting their needs met at any cost, not to relate to others on a heart level.

[@alcian33i]

If somebody is not wealthy and not loved, how will they reach their ultimate purpose to enlightenment. Other forms of enjoyment do not cut it.

[@loveandlight6436]

16:45 ❤️👌 ritual

[@loveandlight6436]

Grief is exhausting 😪 😴

[@Pinkrhodonite]

I think your relationship with your therapist is a little fake. But, I truly believe that most people who go into that line of work are there because they care about people and want to help. I also think therapists tend have just as many issues as we do.

[@user-um9sl1kj6u]

Why would a relationship be fake unless a cyber criminal is using a deep fake of you (or Me) for whatever ridiculous purpose?

[@user-cp9yo4jk9b]

you ever worked in sales retail or food service?

[@Amber24426]

When people worry about their relationship to their therapist being fake, they mean a relationship where the person (therapist) is not actually genuinely invested in them, the client. Though people understand that therapy introduces a specific kind of relationship, over time it can become extremely difficult to stomach the idea that this person whom you are sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with might not actually care about you beyond the time that you see them.

[@paulmfti]

You’re paying for a professional service…not for an artificial friend who listens to you whose bills you pay to cover their overhead…they are analysts, putting together a treatment plan based on on the presenting problem and analyzing a clients personal history, relationship style and thoughts and behaviors that maybe causing their problem…lead and direct their thought processes to create thoughts that lead to better emotions and behaviors…unless they are a subject of a smear campaign causing reactive abuse that presents as BPD or NPD…yeah and avoid transfer of the therapist’s bias or projections onto the client…or aka transference…

[@indridcold8433]

Therapy does not work for everyone. Unfortunately, I am one. I went through four. Each one of them made me far worse than I started. When my psychatrist recommended another therapist, I had to explain to her that I grew up isolated and quiet. I had no friends, and still do not. Thus, I never learned the customs and protocols for effective interpersonal, social, interactions and bonds. Speaking to someone about what crippling emotional pain I have is simply not natural to me. My psychiatrist insisted and I told her it would bed like her isolating herself. She told me to keep tharapy in mind. I agreed but, I do not think there will be another attempt. Someone that grew up isolated, simply can not associate with anybody to speak to about emotional pain. As mentioned earlier, there are no firends in my life, nor do I know how to obtain any. Thus, I do not even try.

[@elouan5092]

i'm sorry to read your story, but... you say you don't know how to make friends and so you don't try. It's a big mistake, i think. We can learn all we want, but we have to try for that ! If he really want to walk, a baby has to try a lot and fail a lot ! He has to fall and, perhaps, be hurt... It's the same thing for making friends, exactly the same thing... You have to deal with the possibility to fail, you have to accept that, yes, it can be hurtfull... Your problem is not to not know how to do, it's not a big deal to learn how friendship works, the problem is you are afraid to fail ! So you don't try and it's more and more difficult... because , yes, it's more easy to learn that when we are a child. But it's not impossible. Please, come on, try ! Like a baby ! Try and fail ! And again, try ! With the help of your therapist, of course. Not alone...

[@mrmaherani7077]

What a beautiful dress you’re wearing. I envy women who can cry more easily than men.

[@4745jay]

Kati. Why do you use the word patient instead of client? For me, the word patient refers to a person who is sick, damaged, impaired, and deficient and is in need of medical care. Like in a hospital or clinic and puts the theripest in a doctor-like position or someone in power over someone else, in which they, and they alone, have expertise on what is best for the patient. But the word client, on the other hand, was developed to signify a rejection of this medical way of thinking and replace it with the humanistic language of growth and change. In this language, it is the client who has expertise on what is best for them. Psychological problems are not illnesses to be cured but instead, states of self and social alienation. As such, therapy, in this view, is not about curing illness but about helping people to find solutions and new directions in life for themselves. I was just wounding your thinking on this. If I get a response at all, that is. great video by the way. Always like watching your videos.

[@Taylor934]

@Katimorton you are not gonna stop someone from being who they are if a man or woman is in a toxic relationship as long as it is not physical or ypur not forcing them to have sex they can do whatever they want but what you are doing is basing it on one gender with your feminine views

[@richardvaldes3959]

Yes of course it is. It's a professional relationship. And you cannot trust them with private information that they would share with the law. Therapy is Therapy it's not your mother or priest. People wake uo

[@janetslater129]

It's only for certain cases in which a therapist has to inform the law.....like if you're abusing a minor/elder/person with a disability, or if you are a minor talking about being abused that has not been previously disclosed. Even if they are required to go to court for this, they can only disclose so much. If they break those rules, that can cause them to have harsh penalities, and even lose their license.