Is Sex the Glue in Our Relationships? | Gaia Steinberg | TEDxShenkarCollege

Gaia discovered, at the age of sixteen, that they were asexual. Gaia is now a researcher on the subject of asexuality and lectures widely on the subject. In their talk Gaia discusses asexuality in the wider context of human relationships.
Gaia Steinberg is a queer activist and one of the leaders of the asexual community in Israel. Gaia’s work mainly consists of talks and workshops on sexuality and gender, with the belief that face-to-face conversations will bring about change. After discovering the asexual community at 16, Gaia was exposed to a new world that did not fit the romantic narrative told in movies. In their talk, Gaia will lead you through a journey of alternative relationships and untouched worlds of intimacy, bringing forth the messages the asexual discourse holds for relationships in general. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@wintermoons1215]

I’m 26 years old and ace/aro and the future Gaia describes envisioning for her and her friend is EXACTLY the one I want for myself someday. The way she described feeling that she was going to end up alone when she first figured out she was asexual is exactly how I felt and it’s something I’m still grappling with. But it’s something I feel better about after listening to this. I’m so grateful to Gaia for this amazing talk!

[@pranavlimaye]

I believe Gaia's pronouns are they/them. But thank you for sharing

[@alexisrausch1735]

This one hit home. I've been scared to embrace my asexuality but I feel like this is something I will think about years down the road. Thank you.

[@cathl4953]

Talia sounds like a great friend

[@fox-fluffl9002]

I'm aro-ace, and constantly feel ostracized. Everyone is looking for someone to spend their life with, maybe have kids or get married someday. But, I don't want any of that. I have a friend who I'm very close with, and she is really accepting of me. I want a really close and loving relationship with people, with physical comfort (hugs, sitting close together, etc.) but platonic. Nothing romantic, just a really close friendship where I know I can trust her with anything and she can understand, or if she can't then sympathize and comfort me.

[@kailiak4271]

Exactly this. This is such a great, but concise way of explaining exactly how I feel. Thank you so much for making this comment :)

[@gpettus9508]

Fox-Fluff L Lol Netflix & Chill platonically

[@AmusementVision]

I feel the exact same. I reallu thought I was alone but this gives me hope

[@amanagrawal3674]

Me too🥺🥺🥺🥺

[@christinaleisten6975]

this was really helpful to hear. i was brought to tears when they said that they thought they were going to end up alone and that they constantly felt like something was missing/inadequate, because that's how i've felt for several years and into the present, as i have slowly discovered my asexuality and have begun a new relationship. gaia, you are amazing

[@itsaibi]

This reminds me a lot about a queerplatonic relationship, where the relationship you have is sort of in between of just being friends and an actual relationship.

[@dwoktheraynejonsohn4849]

Yep! Although, I would change that last sentence from "actual relationship" to "societaly accepted relationship"

[@applesas942]

This made me realize why I miss my best friend in such an intimate way. I never wanted to date her, I just imagined we would grow old together and share a cabin in the woods. But now that she's past my life plans feel more messy and confused.

[@satishm5260]

It is so sad and unfortunate to see that people in west use a beautiful word like "relationship" to term a body-based ties. If we someone says that i have some relationship with a person then that can be meant as a brother/sister/friend/mother/dad.

[@rinsakami474]

Well, if we say only relationship than we mean the romantic type. If we want to address any other type we just hang the people involved at the beginning, like: Sibling-relationship, mother-daughter-relationship. OR we say bond: sibling-bond

[@TGP109]

Not really, we often speak of ''relationships'' with significant others who are parents, friends, etc.

[@satishm5260]

@@rinsakami474 it was not like that before, it is a recent happening.

[@satishm5260]

@@TGP109 Generally if someone says relationship, it is understood as some body based relationships.

[@kathrinel.j4382]

Just finding someone who doesent want kids is hard ... I hope she finds what she is searching for

[@AmusementVision]

@You- know-who same here

[@pencils7351]

While watching I remembered this series of conversations with a friend of mine about possible futures. We're both very ace and find dating weird, and unrelated to that want to be roommates after high school. Like, we've ever set out base rules on chores and stuff, I'll cook since she can't for example. I'm 16 and she's 18, I want to be a software engineer and she wants to be an actress, and we can't wait to be roommates

[@GaiaShirley]

That was literally me and Inbar a decade ago. At some stage she started teaching me how to cook, so she wouldn't have to do all the cooking on her own. We planned where we would live and what that would look like. Never got to live through it, though, since our relationship shifted before it was geographically possible. But it was the best to be able to dream together, and I wish you two the best of luck in living it as well

[@Jaya-ce8qb]

Enjoy yourselves!😁

[@MelRosenberg1]

Wonderful! A brilliant talk by a brilliant person! So proud of you.

[@GaiaShirley]

Ah, Mel, thank you so much. For the entire process

[@foxintrash9636]

This just makes me so happy and Hopeful

[@emmchen1101]

Best video of the year. Thanks, girl.

[@frey_finley]

Great Ted-talk!

[@miriamrosemary9110]

Excellent TED talk - thank you Gaia for sharing

[@iamalpha5576]

I would like to have a Tedx talk in my locale, how may I go about this?

[@idontwannabeanonymous4725]

I wonder why this is not gain so much viewers

[@shikhavats7898]

Thank u

[@Snow0-0]

You are amazing. ואגב, האם את ישראלית?

[@GaiaShirley]

תודה 3> אכן ישראלית (:

[@evanleebodies]

"reading our love poems we have written to our dogs"...? Are you for real?

[@carl_Grimes_drawz]

Is anything wrong with that

[@khulagukhan]

Short answer : Yes it is. If you are asexual dont waste peoples time. It sounds like a cover up excuse for next level of friendzone.

[@zerexz5502]

its not.

[@pranjalihanda8618]

IT IS NOT in some relationships and their ratio is super less.