Is there a way to deal with the loss of a beloved one? | Thich Nhat Hanh answers questions

Is there a way to deal with death of a beloved person? [In particular] How can a mother deal with the loss of the father and give the kids the best upbringing. Is there a way to take the gloominess away?
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[@andreawallenberger2668]

One could even take his excellent advice here on the anniversary of his own passing. RIP beloved teacher and guide Thich Nhat Hanh. 🙏 🤲 🕯🌍❤️

[@peytonbass5396]

May this great Master Rest in Peace and his words, actions, and examples live on to those of us eager to learn.

[@PedroPetipa]

Thank you for this talk. I lost my father two months ago to COVID-19 and it has been very hard to live without him. To think that I can see him in the actions he left behind, in what we enjoyed in common, in the way I am because of him, all these things help to reinvigorate me a little bit. Thank you, Thich Nhat Hanh, thank you very much.

[@foreveryactionthereisacons1683]

Losing a parent is so painful. I hope you have many dream visitations from your dad. Look for Cardinals as well, They're symbolism for father/grandfather. 💛💛💛

[@aniccaanatta1774]

Sadhu sadhu sadhu

[@LilAk101]

So sorry for your loss, i am also days away from losing my mother to cancer and i am just finding ways to prepare myself for this pain

[@darbkavon]

I lost my dad a month ago. I hear him in the birds and see him in the plants (he loved both). It is painful but also comforting. He taught me many lessons by how he lived (well). Wishing you some inner peace.

[@NikoHL]

​@@foreveryactionthereisacons1683 And if you don't live in America.. No Cardinals will come.

[@jennarentz]

Thank you 🌻❤️ No birth, no death. This beautiful cloud has now taken another form.

[@dan-andreivasilescu228]

The thirst of my soul is quenched, thank you, gentle being :)

[@Cil3464]

A cloud never dies… RIP Thich Nhat Hahn… I lost my partner of 30 years just a few months ago… I have many years been following Thay’s teachings… now they seem even more valuable and comforting… thank you so much to Thay, and to Plum Village for making all the teachings so easily accessible. 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️

[@marila1005]

Nothing can die. Nothing can be lost. Only transform.

[@ivyoakfernjungletreehugger5740]

I lost my mother and father and has been very traumatic and extremely difficult to carry on daily without not missing them.wish they were here😢

[@slane_design]

Most beautiful explanation of our continuation. Meditation on death has brought much healing and comfort. Thank you dearest teacher.

[@cats.m.2853]

My kind teacher. Thay brings me so much inner peace. I appreciate so much I am able to hear his words.

[@MikeRamirez4781]

Energy is not lost. Energy can not be created nor destroyed. Energy transforms into other forms.

[@nadernikmorad73]

I am very thankful for this. god bless him

[@valerieh5400]

Nothing can be lost. I love how he said this. Thank you for sharing your continued wisdom Mr. Hanh. I look forward to reading your words daily and watching your videos.

[@susannevins5077]

Nothing is ever lost as long S someone remembers. I learned that from A Rabi and there Are other wise ones who know that

[@susannevins5077]

As long as someone remembers

[@jenniechen24]

Nothing can die , nothing can be lost. Cherish life and loved one in this world. Dear Thay, I see you , I see Buddha.

[@RebeccaLynnMusic]

I cannot seem to find peace with my mother not here. I'm trying to see things as Hanh sees it. But I anguish almost every day. I need more help. It's been many years. But it's still fresh. I do love clouds, though, so I'm here to listen again. I feel painfully alone.

[@silentjoe4745]

There is no comparable pain to grief. And I always feel wrong to attempt to speak to another’s experience of loss. It’s just not right for me or anyone to attempt to assuage your deeply felt sorrow. No matter how gentle the words might be, it would be a disservice to you for anyone to interject and supersede what you know you feel. I will say, what is obvious to me as a witness to your hurting, is that the love you have perceptively lost is evident in the pain you feel and express now. It’s the same love, only it’s transformed to a different expression that now hurts. While it hurts, it also lends itself as a kind of pain that teaches lessons only the loving can truly learn. We want things to always be the same. To never change. We latch on to form even when we know form’s normal course is to fade. The natural order of all things in this universe is to transform. Transformation gave us life. And it inevitably takes us all back to that place before birth. We cling to life and impotently demand cessation of transformation for the sake of distilled happiness, forgetting that happiness itself is too a function of that same transformation. And like all things, the love that now acts as a disruptive force within you, will inevitably transform itself again into a deeper understanding of love. An understanding that only ever extends itself to us through the mechanisms of belief. I hope the understandings that true love offers begin to enter your life in a way that penetrates your conscious awareness and envelopes all you experience. There’s a reason we feel this pain. It’s worth the love and we always knew that, or else we wouldn’t ever love. ❤️

[@Camaya429]

Yes Rebecca I agree with you. Even if the energy of your loved one transforms to what ever it may be, the physical being is gone. You can talk to them, but cannot hear a response. My father was such a hard worker and so helpful to many of us, his absence leaves a huge void. I want to find ways to manage this grief, that is what brought me here. I believe it is acceptance and moving forward as best you can with a positive attitude, even if you're faking it. Negativity will only find you in darker places. Meditation and breath work have helped me, I also practice yoga. I can't explain it but it helps the mind. I wish you well Rebecca and blessings.

[@RebeccaLynnMusic]

@@silentjoe4745 I am only now reading this. It brought tears - typing through a watery mess in my eyes. I am going to read it again because I need to. THANK YOU sincerely.

[@RebeccaLynnMusic]

@@Camaya429 Thank you dearly for this, and I understand what a loss you are experiencing. Every day is an opportunity for us to learn. Sending love and healing.

[@Camaya429]

You’re thought of and best wishes 🙏🏻🌸

[@mangustac]

thank you so much! love is all we need

[@Suchness_of_Life]

The best ever lessons to overcome the feeling of losing someone.

[@Soumichakra]

Easy said than done for me

[@achi1950]

If that someone is not your only child

[@ctkdh]

Thank you, big big thank you. It is a big relief for me.

[@cheriseroot2386]

This is such a good video. Thank you.

[@ConexionHumanaOficial]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you deer Thay for these excellent talk, your words have helped a lot to accept the loss of my beloved ones. Evangelina Cortes.

[@varistizabal]

I think I need to meditate because I don't understand this. I lost my dad 3 weeks ago and I am lost. I am devastated. I am so angry! It's a suffocating pain! 😭

[@hereandnow3156]

@@varistizabal It's difficult and I think not helpful to try to understand the teachings when you are in the depths of suffering. The best advice I can give you is to accept your feelings and let yourself feel how you are going to feel. I promise the pain will go away with time but for it to go away you have to grieve. Once you grieve you can think about meditation and understanding this teaching but it likely won't happen right now. I wish you the best and may you be kind and gentle with yourself

[@varistizabal]

@@hereandnow3156 thank you so much! ❤🙏

[@buglady0505]

@@varistizabal this is exactly how I am feeling at this moment. My father passed last night and I’m angry at his sickness and the pain cancer put him though. My dad was the best dad to my sisters and I. I feel like I can’t breathe right now, I’m feeling regrets for no reason because I was there for my dad through anything that he needed, I’m feeling guilt and I’m feeling so sorry for him and I cry just when I have thoughts of him walking to his bedroom or when he would eat, when he would say bye and when I would pass by him bedroom and watch him watch tv. All those things make me cry… I just can’t believe he’s not here anymore… I can’t handle this feeling.

[@of8ightandse7en16]

our attachment is to that very form, of our beloved ones, physically human, with us, embracing, watching tv in living room, and spending time together.. though they may be in other form, it's the grieve and longing to their physical presence that we know and miss. i'm speaking from ignorance cause i've yet to experience what he says. i just fear so much of change, of losing things dear to me no matter how good sounding the spiritual gurus said it is, like all the bliss of enlightenment, afterlife and all.. listening to all the people grieving their loved ones for years make me depressed..

[@jcd3869]

We are conditioned by human thoughts to be depressed and be attached to the physical form. We think they are real but only conditioned thoughts. De-conditioning to the now takes away any depressed thoughts.

[@domINkl]

you are 100% right ..... we get very attached to the form......all the talk about no death, being a cloud - that fact is, I miss my wife like hell - I got very used to being with her for 32 years. Death is very, very, very real and so is grief - it sucks deeper than anything. But dont let this put you off loving somebody - its so good while it lasts - cherish every moment.

[@jaypalnitkar4400]

Death is the ultimate truth. Nobody can miss that. So no point being depressed about thinking something that will definitely happen one day

[@mitchelllee1339]

why don't the hold world understand Buddhism is so simple . peace of mind..

[@haych27]

thank you for sharing

[@kippapao]

gratitude

[@terrypotts7575]

He is so beautiful.

[@clarabuccinna1782]

Thank you, Thay 💕🙏

[@solomit1]

Thank you for message my mother passed away 💔😂💓

[@Soumichakra]

Not at all easy when one is so alone in this earth. I too used to believe in lotus site a but now I lost all that I feel like banking on...I know he had to go but I don't know, I can't manage myself

[@drshohinidas4051]

True. But we cannot make death our enemy

[@michaeldo1988]

i love you blessed one

[@James18925]

My wife died in 2014 and I can't stop thinking of her pain and loss she was only 50 and I walked in called her name at home and she was dead in the bed I Can't go on and I live with so much guilt 😭😭 I hate myself everyday

[@intensepassion3382]

May God bless you and soon release your guilt, grief and pain.

[@jcd3869]

Your here for a reason. Please forgive yourself. I am sure she wants you to be happy and not sad and full of guilt. Live on from here in dedication to her by allowing yourself to be happy and enjoy remaining time on this planet. God bless.

[@elendilnz]

Please don’t hate yourself James. Go into your heart and see your dear wife there. When you meet again, she will want to see your love not guilt ❤❤

[@yanamclaughlin1644]

Love you

[@DragonYeng]

Rip master

[@mile1060]

i think we'll have to take the medicine now

[@amandaking7621]

❤️👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️

[@Tracey319]

🌸🙏🏻🌸🙏🏻

[@97warlock]

But many of us...........NEED to feel that THEY understand our messge of love. It is not enough to talk to a cloud or to see a cloud in tea etc & talk to It, as if it were our loved one. Most of us need something a little more substanial for our grief.

[@duyenphan1168]

🙏🙏🙏

[@ojasshah7633]

I lost my fifteen years old daughter suddenly in misc long covid.a life cut short.shw was hardworking innocent child loved by all her friends.all prepared for board exams champion in sports.l feel so guilty l took her late for hospital.can feel peace any more.will she be born soon.will l be able to ask forgiveness n give her what she deserves

[@shivanidubenath4741]

Pls don't feel guilty ... It had to happen that way .. pray for her happiness where she is .. let go of the pain !! See joy in others by reaching out to them !! She lives on thru u!

[@DavidKarlsson-ti6sb]

Would the cougher please leave the room?

[@davidpugh696]

I have lost my 2 yr old granddaughter through cancer - how do you reconcile with this

[@cujfugvjhffhchch491]

I’m am so sorry for your loss , I have lost my parents early and my brother and many friends last year . I understand only way I survive is to realise we never die there is no death .

[@thuscomeguerriero]

I think Thai might say that healing a broken heart from loss comes thru mending our false perception. In this instance that a child of 2 years has died would be a false perception. The child was not 2 years old but as old as being itself. Nor is the child deceased..because nothing is ever lost..only changed. Perhaps into the form of a flower, or taken up into a cloud to become rain to enrich the earth. Now, I myself am a Christian. I believe Jesus is the Son of God who died on the cross to reconcile ourselves to God, and rose from the dead. His resurrection is the hope for all mankind. Scripture tells us "that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart God raised him from the dead you shall be saved" That because Christ defeated death we too, thru faith in his shed blood on the cross, will he raised to life when he returns in glory. We look forward to a time when God will "wipe away every tear"

[@judeirwin2222]

What a shame there was not a professional sound engineer in this event to set up the mics correctly. So much feedback. Unnecessary and makes listening difficult.

[@ivyoakfernjungletreehugger5740]

Truly outstanding teacher.🌍🌳🪵🌲

[@meditator433]

I wonder if there is a transcript of this talk. It is helping me cope with the recent loss of my dear sister.

[@melprincess1313]

There’s a book on Amazon with some of his quotes on grief, similar to this talk, very comforting

[@meditator433]

@@melprincess1313 Thank you, Mel!

[@hihowareyou0000]

🙏😌❤💯

[@createspaceone]

if a loved one is not lost where are they? because you will never see them or meet them in that form again?

[@nononononono1730]

"nothing can be lost"

[@RebeccaLynnMusic]

I really am appalled by the constant coughers. Had I been there, I'd have kindly begged them to please leave.

[@sicsempertyrannis9024]

RIP ❤

[@judeirwin2222]

Coughers, please leave the room!

[@chicalagata]

What is he rambling on about

[@tomshotton3046]

Why were there always so many people coughing and spluttering at Thich Nhat Hanh talks?

[@thuscomeguerriero]

Seriously though, why is it in EVERY talk Thich gives there is just massive amounts of coughing going on? I promise you its not cause they are sick..they just CANT sit still

[@I_Am_Youniverse]

I noticed that alot when spiritual teachers talk. Like when Alan watts speaks you can constantly hear coughing in the background in every talk. I think when people are hit with truth it does something to them, especially because we've never been exposed to such deep perspectives in our culture.

[@I_Am_Youniverse]

Mosf of the things we believe can't be scientifically proven, but this right here is scientific fact. "Energy cannot be created nor destroyed it can only transition from one from to another" - Albert Einstein

[@AurelioRodriguez1]

It is so distracting!

[@sidd123patel5]

They should be immediately removed from the room, I reckon.

[@helenab7390]

Right here in the stop coughing thread...ask people to leave? I was so invested in what was being said I did not hear the coughing,only occasionally but then the thought that life in its present form was there with that sound .....

[@Krillin1993]

But the science don't confim the life after death. What is if we are dieing forever? And there is no justice, no afterlife? Are we not lost then?

[@slimshany4602]

Why seek an afterlife if you're not learning to be the best version of you in this life? You get one chance, use it. Don't expect there to be a treat at every finish line, then you are just postponing and avoiding the teachings in this life, to get to the fun part. I find this 'escapism' very weird thinking. Live from the heart, be kind to yourself and others around you. That's all, good luck

[@kailasm]

Slimme Sjaan yes whole teaching of Buddha is to not to be reborn. For the one who isn’t ready for it yet rebirth is reassuring. We can play this for sometime until get bored.

[@I_Am_Youniverse]

It's a scientific fact that energy never dies, energy can only transition to a different form. Look up Albert Einstein's quote on death, "energy can not be created nor destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another." It can't be scientifically proven that there's an afterlife, but it is a scientific fact that death is not the end. Nothing can die, does a cloud die? No it can only transition into a different form like rain or snow. We are the same way, once we understand this, we will no longer look at death the same.

[@viw4879]

@@I_Am_Youniverse I would prefer to confirm, but how can energy never get destroyed for example you put an electric wire out of a Laptop. After a few ours, the Energy in the battery is used up. How could this electric energy transform into another? So the science says that we have some electric energy in our body. Isn't death just the situation of taking away the wire from us? PS: Sorry for my bad english, I hope its understandable what I want to say.

[@silentjoe4745]

Science is limited. Perception itself is limited and deeply biased in ways that are typically unseen. We are imperfect beings and use rationality as if it offers all answers. It’s deeply egoic of man to attempt to say we can definitively know the nature of the world through our senses. We are still like caveman using primitive tools.

[@RebeccaLynnMusic]

People who cannot control their coughing should leave the room. It's selfish to stay and distract.

[@VoidVanish]

It’s is also selfish to think they don’t have the right to be there too because they are suffering.

[@RebeccaLynnMusic]

@@VoidVanish Oh, goodness! Who is the awful person who thinks that they should not be there? I am referring to those who cough because they can and choose to. Not those who have no control. Not everyone coughing was sick. I have decades of experience studying audiences, believe it or not. I think some people just enjoy making sounds.

[@beantrader4723]

he's a pagan and a liar. Rev 21:8 "But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars-they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death". Jn 5:26 " “Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice and come out - those who have done what is good will rise to live, and those who have done what is evil will rise to be condemned". Job 7:9 "As a cloud vanishes and is gone, so one who goes down to the grave does not return. 10 He will never come to his house again; his place will know him no more". Job 8:12 "While still growing and uncut, they wither more quickly than grass. Such is the destiny of all who forget God; so perishes the hope of the godless". Job 14:10 "But a man dies & is laid low; he breathes his last & is no more. As the water of a lake dries up,.. so he lies down & does not rise; till the heavens are no more, people will not awake or be roused from their sleep". Job 16:22 “Only a few years will pass before I take the path of no return" Lk 23:43 "Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”. Dan 12:2 "Multitudes who sleep in the dust of the earth will awake: some to everlasting life, others to shame and everlasting contempt. Heb 9:27 "Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, Ps 78:39 "He remembered that they were but flesh, a passing breeze that does not return". Jn 9:39 "Jesus said,“For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”