Is this the most 'British' Empire Total War weapon?

[@UpstateGardening]

“It’s only a war crime if there are survivors”

[@realdragon]

It's not war crime if Geneva convetion doesn't exist yet

[@defensivekobra3873]

if a -tree- war crime falls over in the middle of the forest and nobody is there to see it, did it really happen?

[@jadenzantslayers6694]

@@realdragon That's something me and my bois say all the time when we play games like Civ 5

[@robertk1701]

@@realdragon and remember, the rules don't apply if you don't ratify. The U.S. never ratified the treaty banning hollow point bullets in warfare, so not a war crime if they use them. Per Wikipedia, the U.S. military had even produced some for special circumstances.

[@jackmaniscalco3392]

It’s called the Geneva Convention, not the Geneva Requirement, more of a Geneva Suggestion.

[@greenacadian4197]

Ahh, Spiff, putting the "casual" in "civilian casualties."

[@weblurker-stuffifoundonthe6208]

This comment implies the existance of competetive civilian casualties. And I really want to witness those.

[@cin2110]

@@weblurker-stuffifoundonthe6208 covid says hi

[@danielharvison7510]

@@weblurker-stuffifoundonthe6208 Well...not too get too dark or anything, but world war 2 says hello.

[@gaolmiralis2247]

@@danielharvison7510 More like the Thirty Years War

[@danielharvison7510]

@@gaolmiralis2247 Well, when a war goes that long, I guess people get sick of it after a while, and just go "screw it, just END it already!"

[@Twisted_Paradox1]

Me: How do I get rich in Empire: Total War? The Spiffing Brit: The secret ingredient is Crime.

[@Goekmoot]

it always is and was... perfectly balanced!

[@TheDolfanar]

Technically the secret ingredient was *lime*

[@mrginge143]

Technically the secret ingredient was *I’m*

[@TheDaltonius]

On a planetary scale

[@darkdragon10100]

Lol so true

[@studentboy87]

“The Welsh can have nothing as always” - I mean Spiff’s not wrong 😢

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎E‎

[@AxxLAfriku]

WARNING I am the unprettiest human YTer worldwide. Take the hint, dear 5om

[@johnconnorburns3269]

Cymru rydd

[@franciscohughes1757]

At least we have our leaks and mountains

[@SephirothRyu]

They can have lots of derilect old castles.

[@reallightfield5314]

Love the way he said:"Look at them doing a spin!".just the joy in his voice got me.

[@zackgraygray6554]

Fair enough

[@cigan900]

spain without the a

[@benedictul]

@@cigan900 or without the "s"

[@cigan900]

spiny pain

[@KasumiRINA]

Real historical description of live British commentary at battle of Trafalgar.

[@akramgimmini8165]

Spiffing Brit is using the tactics he used in the Yugoslav-Wars

[@MrJuancazzzz]

@Hayden Moore Spiffidan Britosević

[@herman1francis]

Aaaah yes, the city of lights, the beautiful Paris, and the two barracks that compose it. Splendid

[@scintillam_dei]

LOL For Advance Wars 2, I did a map of the world where a pixel represented a lot.

[@solomonaerospace5932]

I think it is like a fort outside the city (maybe)?

[@legionnaire4336]

@@solomonaerospace5932 It is

[@LordVader1094]

@@solomonaerospace5932 Correct, Paris is in the background off the map

[@bandenere7774]

@@solomonaerospace5932 correct. They are meant to be the fortress guarding the city.

[@MarlonMacielBrando]

Things to expect on a SpiffingBrit video: 1 - Horribly broken EXPLOITS; 2 - Tea (more specifically, Yorkshire Tea); 3 - *MERCILESS DUNKING ON THE FRENCH.*

[@bushit123456]

Was there exploits?

[@dimitriofthedon3917]

Yorkshire tea is WEAK

[@hiroshell7973]

So is Russian firewalls.

[@pamelasmith4230]

@@dimitriofthedon3917 Then you have chosen death

[@actuallyKriminell]

Every european dunks of the french. Even the french themselves

[@devinnie7572]

"Hopefully the pathfinding AI will..." No, that's not how you want to start any sentence in an ETW siege battle.

[@stoat7]

It's called "line battle" not "standing in front of someone battle" So getting shot in the back is their own fault

[@brijekavervix7340]

Wouldn't it be Spiff's fault for putting them there?

[@stoat7]

@@brijekavervix7340 psshhhh!

[@danielharvison7510]

@@brijekavervix7340 "The management accepts no responsibility for the behaviour of patrons. You stand in front of dangerous stuff, you gets the shots in the back!" "Also, the management is always right!"

[@brijekavervix7340]

@@danielharvison7510 remind me never to seek employment at Spiffco :P

[@Gormathius]

@@brijekavervix7340 Of course, there's no point seeking employment at Spiffco, at Spiffco employment will always find you!

[@Bzuhl]

"Warcrime" is a word loaded with unfair criticism. I prefer "creativity in the context of international suggestions".

[@trik-1032]

I just realised he did exactly what they did back then. Don't help the Americans and build a fantastic navy and make money out of it 🤣. Always enjoy and love Spiffs vids

[@argentandroid5732]

Personally, I think the American Revolution was a mistake. They should have appointed a representative of the crown as a figurehead and tricked the English into thinking they still had power over them like the Canadians.

[@AtheistIII]

and ordering his cavalry into a hopeless charge against an entrenched enemy

[@IKFtheGoat]

@@argentandroid5732 No

[@RavenholdIV]

His loss. If I remember correctly, doing some fighting helping the colonies would make them give all their territory to you as a reward.

[@treky4life488]

@@argentandroid5732 Great Britain had to contend with France and Spain still so the revolting colonies just needed to wage a war of attrition and hold out. Britain needed tax money to pay for the French and Indian War so not sending Britain money and making it spend more money to put down the rebellion all while still being in an arms race.

[@JonBrownSherman]

After the tea rant I didn't think Spiff could get any more British but then he went and literally invaded France

[@jacoboconnell7518]

"And the Welsh can have absolutely nothing as always" I'll be damned if that didnt make me laugh exceptionally loud.

[@dionphillips4573]

That one hit home and couldn't help but laugh😂

[@bubbasbigblast8563]

"Come on Mortar crews, the enemy is right there!" "..is someone going to tell him that these are howitzers, not mortars?" "He just shot a man in the back for spilling tea." "Right, Mortars were are, then."

[@broccoliface4501]

Pretty sure they were inside the minimum range no? I know mortars have one, but I can't remember if howitzers did as well. It's been a long time.

[@keoken9078]

@@broccoliface4501 they have

[@umjackd]

Direct fire artillery would have been fine for close range too, when he could have used another war crime of canister shot at close range. But hey. I can just feel all the military history commenters coming though.

[@danielharvison7510]

@@broccoliface4501 Just tip the damn things forward a bit. It'll work out!

[@WildBluntHickok]

Can I just say the guy who got shot in the back for spilling tea got what he deserved.

[@lukavrecar2586]

Never thought I'd see the day Spiff covers one of my fave games of all time

[@afatcatfromsweden]

And i never thought i’d live to see spiff do anything but hoi 4 timelapses but we’ve both been proven wrong. Spiff likes proving prople wrong :)

[@lukavrecar2586]

@@afatcatfromsweden ah yes, the one where you don't need to defeat the french, they surrender no matter what

[@mahieuwim]

...badly.

[@legateexpendable9308]

@@afatcatfromsweden he's long overdue for his next collab with Taureor

[@kamyarazarmehri5120]

@@legateexpendable9308 ahh, I see you're an og as well😂

[@k3nzxc584]

"And if you disagree with me, you're just wrong" - most of the internet nowadays

[@gen169]

-twitter

[@excalligator5529]

Watch somebody say you’re wrong in a few hours

[@k3nzxc584]

@@excalligator5529 I was waiting for someone to say it

[@katerinakatykat]

@@k3nzxc584 wrong

[@AbhijayAgarwal]

@@k3nzxc584 Checkmate, liberal. You're wrong

[@ytnewhandlesystem42]

Spiff: "We will be growing..." Us: "Tea!" Spiff: "Sugar!" Us: "uwotm8?!"

[@Karagianis]

Nah, India is where the tea is. Carribean is for Sugar, to put in the tea. :)

[@jojomaster7675]

@@Karagianis And to make biscuits with better flavour :)

[@doublea125]

"Not only did I follow orders, I created some of my own along the way." -Spiffing Brit revealing his war criminal status to the masses

[@sneezingidiot301]

It was one of the early attempts at the infinite money exploits before complications are to be expected

[@MrWeedWacky]

When you learn that artillery's different types of ammo has a "penalty" that can be off-set by holding alt when targetting and then targetting the ground about 1/3 of a unit's width to the side or behind to increase their accuracy, you will become a military strategic mastermind.

[@Skurai_X]

I love when Spiff makes new videos, I could listen to him talk for hours.

[@WillDa713]

me, a french watcher: awesome, a new spiff video! spiff, barely a minute in: let's cyberbully the AI and most importantly the french me: **sweats nervously**

[@crocworks]

Yay, an older Total War game! I'm hoping we get another video on Medieval 2 Total War sometime detailing the Merchant Stacking exploit. If Moors (or anyone, but they start the closest) walk south from Marrakech towards Timbuktu and capture it, there are like 4 or 5 gold mines there. Then you stick a soldier on top of the mine and then stack up to 20 merchants inside that military unit. All of the merchants will now be trading that gold, when normally you should only be able to trade with 1 merchant.

[@thegrayyernaut]

I've always preferred the way things reflect onto water in Empire's campaign map compared to the ever increasingly more realistic campaign map in later games. It looks like a toy map.

[@roebenjaminpeled2705]

"The best weapon, is war crimes" The spiffing brit, 2021

[@Gibby34340]

"It's only illegal if you're caught" -Me, too often

[@TyrDrum]

"War crimes are what we call being creative."

[@toxicsledgevlogs6477]

“Quebec has rebelled”. every Canadian has now gotten happier

[@danielharvison7510]

Wait...Canadian, French Canadian, or some combination thereof?

[@coreystockdale6287]

I mean if they wanna leave then we are gonna be outta maple syrup quite quickly

[@Gibby34340]

I've heard that Quebec is the Chicago of Canada, is that true? You can't walk down the street without getting mugged or shot?

[@danielharvison7510]

@@Gibby34340 I'd heard the opposite, actually. Quebec's supposed to be the nice neighbourhood there or something.

[@toxicsledgevlogs6477]

@@Gibby34340 you’re thinking of Manitoba

[@purplemnkydshwshr]

That crashing thing is apparently to do with having the forts in the map, lots and lots of not so tiny pixels just waiting to be hit by massed artillery, Darthmod can get rid of fort battles so it doesn't crash so often (>_

[@TheDolfanar]

It’s true that with Quicklime: Lime waits for no man…

[@anumeon]

For an added chaotic experience in this game.. The Darthmod makes artillery even more evil... :D (ohh,, and all the effects are way cooler as well)

[@Arno-s6w]

Shakespeare was a famous 17th-century diesel mechanic.

[@efulmer8675]

This reminds me of a silly run I did in Ultimate General Civil War where I played as the CSA, cheated myself an infinite number of 20 pounder Parrott guns, and then comprised almost 1/3 of my entire army with them under generals who were exceedingly good at making artillery accurate. The grapeshot barrage these things could do when clustered up just behind infantry in forts was absolutely legendary, and they could be just far enough back that they were very unlikely to actually get targeted for counterbattery fire.

[@KasumiRINA]

U're wrong about tea, even James Bond drinks coffee instead

[@aboldone8205]

When I clicked on this video I was not expecting an exact reenactment of history, with absolutely no difference.

[@camuor3645]

Imagine playing ETW without putting your units in one big line so more can shoot at the same time smh

[@WoodlandDrake]

Spiff: "I have absolutely no interest in helping the Americans!" Me: "He sounds like a man Americans would vote for!"

[@Mr-Trox]

C'mon man!

[@callmeravenlee1972]

I hate that you’re not wrong

[@mranderson718]

My country was created because rich men didn’t want to pay single digit percent taxes. What do you expect from us?

[@tanjeeschuan4999]

@@mranderson718 your country rebelled due to not wanting to be taxed without representation.

[@jojomaster7675]

@@tanjeeschuan4999 _You know there's a tax for speaking like that, right?_

[@TrufaTuttle]

I will not be concerned at other men is not knowing me;I will be concerned at my own want of ability.

[@KaguroDraven]

"It's an earlier Total War game, the pathfinding AI wasn't exactly the best". It hasn't exactly gotten better either Spiffing.

[@jaywerner8415]

Truely a shamefull display that is.

[@CodyLundberg]

It was literally better BEFORE ETW, it has gotten worse over the years, not better. "All the french look the same because it is an earlier TW game", unit diversity was also better BEFORE ETW and has gotten worse.

[@OneJazzyBoye]

This video is just a compilation of Spiff severely overestimating the effectiveness of artillery in ETW lol.

[@jaywerner8415]

Actully, if you use howitzers instead of mortors and manually target the ground instead of the unit (Cus the firing AI aims for hte SIDE of the unit not hte CENTER), you can commit War Crimes by the Hundreds.

[@JoshGolus]

Remember, it's not a war crime if you win the war and declare it an "extreme but necessary tactic".

[@Instictt]

My favorite line in this video will forever be, “there’s the man in his pajamas banging on the drums and he’s ready to cause some chaos”

[@ComicalRealm]

"There is no more serious crime than unnecessary war" - Beorge W. Gush

[@PiotrDzialak]

lol, good hint. I give a lecture about him on Monday and almost have mist that one.

[@bigboi1988]

“Now let’s drive into this sausage” The Spiffing Brit 2021

[@SportyMabamba]

Dive*

[@DarthRelas]

I was wondering why, of all the total war games, he hadn't done the one that literally had the British Empire in it. Now he has, so I can die happy.

[@VickyOscar-k8o]

Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more

[@cohenpierce1442]

0:54 I would expect nothing less from a proud British citizen!

[@Yeetmastr4]

This entire video made me think of one thing in particular: YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME A GOOD DEMOMAN?

[@Daniel-vq5cp]

"Sweden has eaten all of Denmark" I see no problem here.

[@JocelynWalton-jn1vo]

The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.

[@robertprueter3292]

I have a profound love for this perfectly balanced, not in anyway buggy game. May you commit warcrimes as you swim in your vault of gold coins

[@AtomicArtumas]

I remember specifically doing this in Napoleon TW, where I had 3 max ranked and max upgraded mortars that would average something like ~1600 kills each battle between the 3 of them. I don't know why exactly, but the mortars in Napoleon are like.... absolutely busted. You somehow have these cannons that can literally shoot all the way across the map with basically 100% accuracy and pretty much just straight rout whatever they hit as they kill 80% of the unit with one shot. And then you protect them with a combination of sharpshooters (who have significantly higher range and accuracy than any other infantry unit) and smaller cannons set on shrapnel shot, to kill whatever smaller remnants actually go after you. Though I still find the Shogun 2 "spam artillery ships and kill the entire enemy fort with 1 off-shore volley" strat to be the most effective overall TW strategy in existence, but it only works on coastal castles. Basically, if you have a completely max size navy (or multiple) supporting/blockading a coastal city, and you set it to max radius instead of focus fire, it'll fire something like 100 artillery shells across the entire castle, killing about 90% of the defenders without you even having to get within range. And the AI will never leave the castle, so... it's just guaranteed to work every single time. It's just a shame it only works on like 1/12th of the territories in the game because even half the coastal ones have the castle too far inland for a navy to get within range of them.

[@brandonsagoy6311]

Pretty sure if you mixed some regular cannons in with the howitzers and use grape shot you never have to worry about the ai getting close

[@Carter-h9y]

Don't focus on making the right decision, focus on making the decision the right one.

[@Khantlerpartesar]

Me: (drinking coffee) Spiffing: *coffee is the most horrendous thing known to man* Me: (👀)☕👌

[@helly9748]

Imagine the enemy forces are even able to reach your lines when you have Superior cannons in Shogun 2

[@nathanieltownshend2174]

"using war crimes to break the game." Now THAT'S what I call demonetization

[@CricketPulseByDanish]

Thanks to you , I reinstalled this game and followed your video. It was really refreshing to play game your way.

[@digishade7583]

4:06 in the argument between coffee and tea I say “why are you talking about tea and coffee? Hot chocolate cannot be trumped by either”

[@robertnett9793]

You are one of those guys, who just wanna see the world burn. Amirite?

[@Gormathius]

Milkshake is even more powerful. Especially the one from McDonald's which can be used as a makeshift club.

[@generaljackripper666]

It's an oldie, but it's certainly not a goldie.

[@SuperLane]

I thought war crimes were just Spiff's normal strategy in these games.

[@strogonoffcore]

and they are, but they always deserve recognition

[@ligmanuts2015]

This is 400 years before the Geneva Suggestion thus its not a warcrime

[@VRDejaVu]

The Spiffing Brit: "Time to invade Spain" ***sieges Lisbon***

[@alexandernyberg8668]

That feeling when you and the bois commit warcrimes in the wrong country

[@VRDejaVu]

@@alexandernyberg8668 And there is no bigger crime, at least in the Portuguese people eyes, than mistake them for any other country, specially Spain. Thats why my prefered way to annoy the Portuguese is just saying this "Portugal? Ohh yes, the Spanish reagion that speaks brazilian!"

[@arthurmorgan-_--_]

4:35. The Spiffing Brit: if you won't trade with britain we will go into you

[@mahieuwim]

They're called 'Line' infantry for a reason, you know. Mortars can fire over the infantry in front of them, so get a nice line of (tadaa!) line infantry, with your mortars behind them and you've got an invincible army.

[@DeniisClement]

If you really strain your ears, you can just about hear the sound of no one giving a damn.

[@jip5889]

Man I’ve been binging your channel for the last few weeks since I discovered it.

[@CamilleVan-b8r]

The door slammed on the watermelon.

[@danielhale1]

"Why are the Spanish declaring war on me?" Spiff, could it be the war crimes?

[@darkmage07070777]

You know it's a top-tier episode when war crimes are explicitly stated as the goal within the first 3 minutes of the video.

[@vomitman7533]

Spiff, you may want to install DarthMod for Empire to make the game a little less unstable and less ugly. It also improved the AI and effectiveness of each troop type in their specified roles. Most of the lag you get is from old particle effects that most likely expect a physical pixel shader. Lots of Mods fix this issue. Most atrocious of this are the fires from fort walls.

[@Brandon210-q4n]

"Father of toxic gas and chemical warfare . . ."

[@iaodfsh]

A well placed quicklime shot was the most satisfying thing to do in this game

[@alexanderhodgson928]

“You violated the Geneva Convention 192 times” said charge for international war crimes Spitting Brett “only 192 that’s really low”

[@mgunter]

I you dropped the tea tax then Americans never throw tea into the harbor, they never start drinking coffee as an up ours to England. You hold incredible power.

[@mostevil1082]

Dropping the tax is exactly why they threw it in the harbour. It was smugglers upset at the losses that legal tea imports caused.

[@ahmeddwedar8427]

I just came for the war crimes

[@Smelly556]

"I don't know how to use cavalry" -every empire/napoleon total war player

[@TheodoreSmith-wn3gx]

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.

[@firockfinion3326]

In today's episode of, "you can't violate the Geneva Convention if it doesn't exist yet..."

[@JoannaGallacher-u7m]

I believe in one thing only, the power of human will.

[@helly9748]

You will never speed up battle when using the Superior artillery in Shogun 2

[@JessWLStuart]

Carcass Shot + loose leaf tea snorting = GODLIKE POWERS!

[@TheAnalyticalEngine]

So, the moral of the story is - tea and cannons are the best combination

[@Karagianis]

Quick lime's not gas btw, it's powder. Nasty stuff though because when it mixes with water it generates a LOT of heat, breathe that in, or get it in your eyes you're going to be having a bad day.

[@mitkokatrandviev9912]

me a stellaris player:sees the word war crimes LAUGHS IN SITH LORD

[@talonator8244]

Unlimited planet destroying power!!

[@Jeren_TV]

Oh my giddy aunt, finally! I was waiting for an Empire TW Spiff video for ages!

[@WakarimasenKa]

Having played thousands of hours of Total War. 1000 in Empire specifically. I can say that while this strat looks fun and exploitative it is far more efficient to use round shot and cannister to wipe out the enemy. Especially since regular cannons have more range than indirect fire. And while it is tempting, you dont really want to conquer any of the major European powers until the end. Much better to steal their expensive fleets and sell them. Naval warfare is where the real exploits are in Empire. Something I havent quite been able to pull off in Napoleon.

[@lesdodoclips3915]

It’s all about canister shots. Unlimited ammo, incredibly powerful, greater range than line infantry.

[@kellyxxdegroot]

I was literally searching the comments for someone who was gonna mention the fact that you can just declare war on the big naval powers, keep surrendering their fleets no matter how large with a single 5th rate (literally the best and most versatile ship, every seafaring nation starts with them so stealing those ships only increases profits and prevents other powers from even accessing the sea with any of their fleets) and gain an enormous amount of money from it I also always delete every militia/melee unit in my army, leaving me with a way more efficient and cheaper professional army A strong economy is unbeatable in the end :)

[@imperialspacemarine1539]

You missed a golden oppotunity: empire Total War(crime). So much better *pats own back*

[@DDCRExposed]

Spiff is just letting us know that if England ignored all of the Americas and focused on making profit, the future would have turned out a lot differently.

[@DDCRExposed]

@Deborah Ajao Maybe they did??? I'm bad with history. 🤷‍♂️ I'm probably thinking more about the American Revolution.

[@lesdodoclips3915]

They absolutely did. The British empire only got larger, and much much richer, after the loss of America.

[@alienworm1999]

The bomb shell for mortars is even more OP than the carcass shell, its absurd When I would play multiplayer with my friends back in 2015, I would occasionally run an entire army of just mortars and bomb whatever they fielded out of existence

[@paulholmpileborg6340]

you have made me buy a countless amount of games spiff, and when you play them yourself they arent that awesome that you make them look

[@bensoncheung2801]

You'd need him to comment over your gameplay for it to actually be awesome.

[@AEONSaman]

I love how the game says: "Great Britain (You)" I wonder if Spiff shouted something like: "I AM (YOUR) GREAT BRITAIN!" and then laughed maniacally.

[@robertgray111]

You make world domination sound so lovely

[@SvengelskaBlondie]

"Sweden has eaten all of denmark" Danskjävlar

[@lordedmundblackadder9321]

"This should be an absolute wa-" Spiff: "-lk in the park" Me: "-arcrime"

[@baconknightproductions8297]

waarcrime

[@oddersisadog]

One Exploit you can do is blast a Whole into the walls. Place your men into a line to aim at it. Then Place a unit sideways aiming at the opening 90degrees. The AI will think you are trying to scale the wall and they will charge out of the fort into ranks and ranks of your men to get shot. The unit must be as close to the walls as possible before you turn it.

[@HanSolo__]

"Chemical Gas" - ahh yeah. The weaponry of the future!

[@strogonoffcore]

hmmm yes can't wait to feel the sweet smell of mustard gas, and then feel my organs melting

[@robertnett9793]

around 6:00 "Men .... AIM and SHOOTY-SHOOT" I love how he has historical verified commands and orders down to a tea. Very educational.

[@Da__goat]

“We’re going to invade the Caribbean?” Wouldn’t that make you a PIRATE of the Caribbean

[@chalukyajayasinghe9099]

Honestly spiff sounds like a complete and utter maniac

[@pyrosnineActual]

But I thought warcrimes were how you broke every game, including a few games that don't even involve warfare!? What's next, a video called "Spiffing Brit loves Tea and the Queen?"