Is this the reason you have problems in bed? (ADHD and sex)

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00:00 Start
02:30 Sexual Hyperfixation
03:33 Difficulty Orgasming
04:30 Struggling with Presence
05:27 Self-Medicating with Sex
06:27 Inability to Switch Gears
08:00 Open Communication
09:12 Exercise
10:05 Eliminate Distractions
11:00 Get into the Zone
11:48 Consider Medication
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[@Daddystracted]

I deal with so many of these things. One thing not mentioned is rejection sensitivity dysphoria. Getting brushed off can really impact us.

[@ramzee8207]

Yeah that’s probably my main issue with all of life. RSD is not as associated as other stereotypes and not as well studied but I struggle with this daily. With how my friends treat me to feeling betrayed or left to coworkers “talking down” or about me…it’s tough to keep emotions in line and not get upset or overreact when it’s probably not as crazy of an issue that I made it out to be….my way of figuring it out is my EXPECTATIONS! I over expect my abilities or others and that affects me most

[@slashf]

Oh, boy... the RSD. That's been a *big* problem especially prior to my adult diagnosis. At least now I recognize it for what it is when I experience it, which helps to manage it.

[@franksauer6329]

13:46 I’m the one without ADHD in a 30 year marriage, with the last 26 years without any sexual intimacy or touching. She was diagnosed and was using mediation for the first 4 years, then stopped. I talked with Caitlin V (extremely helpful and supporting) and was going to get coaching from her, but my wife refused, and there was not point in doing it alone. My wife has no interest in sex, which she blames on menopause. I’m now 77 and she is 68. When we were having sex, it was obvious there was no presence in the sexual activity. When we were dating, the lust hormones overrode the ADHD, plus any extended travel seems to do the same thing to a lesser extent. I love the woman, she had given me a family and a life (stepdaughter, grandkids,etc). But I am healthy and would really like some sex now! But I’m not willing to “step out”, altho I understand those who tell me (including Caitlin) that a sexless marriage means there can be no cheating (I think that is an oversimplification) since there is absolutely no sex. Caitlin was absolutely right on the symptoms of ADHD, especially no presence. But I think she minimizes the emotional content of any attempt to have an open conversation. In our case, it always devolves into arguments and denials that the symptoms are that bad. Caitlin did not mention that unmediated ADHD people also miss a lot and that affects their memory of the events. They substitute their interpretation of what happened and why for the parts they missed. Thanks Caitlin for the video on the subject, but I think there is need for a lot more.

[@mikeobier7913]

I would love for you to make more videos on this subject. This video creeped me out a bit. It was like you were in my head. I knew all of this but I didn’t at the same time if that makes any sense.

[@nicholasstockmann5989]

Caitlin thanks for everything you do!

[@donniereidjr]

As always thanks for sharing your wisdom. It’s extremely helpful and important.

[@lukylittle8642]

Thank you for talking about this matter . I wish you had more time to talk about it

[@Vulgarapparatus]

Thank you for making this video- I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult a year ago and have struggled with all of this to varying degrees. Big +1 to the comment(s) about rejection sensitivity dysphoria. The mental games and avoidance it causes have made everything from dating to communicating to sex itself much more complicated. Also, Caitlin @HowtoADHD might be able to point you to some additional resources and has at least brushed up against the topic of sex and ADHD in the past.

[@JonOvereem]

Thank you for this video. I “suffer” from many of the points you mention, and until now I hadn’t even considered it could be my Adhd. Too distracted, I guess… now I know what could be the cause, really helps me accept the situation and find a way to learn to deal with it. Thank you so much!

[@CaptainTrivia]

I do not have ADHD, but my wife of 18 years has recently been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum. I told her that Caitlin must have read my mind when this vid popped up on my feed. Would like to see more stuff on neurodivergence and it's impact on sex.

[@richardjessiejohnson9108]

112% to everything in this video. I have it. It’s real bad. lifelong. And I’ve had a lot of partners who’ve had it. I will be sending this video to some of them lol. thank you for everything you do for us

[@TheMk100000]

Hey Caitlin, do you have an onlyfans profile or any other online profile where you do direct messaging/advice? Mark X

[@slashf]

Glad to see you covering this topic. I was only recently diagnosed as ADHD well into adulthood, and I am still learning how it impacts my sex life. Along with non-sexual issues, I have long wondered prior to my diagnosis what is "wrong" with me and why when I had tried to discuss my experience of sex with my wife, she just doesn't get what I'm trying to communicate. The diagnosis has helped me immensely to identity how ADHD likely impacts intimacy (multiple characteristics memtiomed in this video apply in my case) and motivated me to manage or direct it in more constructive ways. I'm still trying to figure out that last part, but at least I'm no longer always just assuming misunderstandings between my wife and I when it comes to sex are solely because of character flaws on my part.

[@banksofbarcelona3893]

With my Adhd I start to think and then I sink into this video like an ink, as i'm typing I'm distracted in between the line, I escape when I finish the line, I love your show

[@patrickplummer1027]

Helpful flawless genius Goddess

[@claytonbroadfield313]

Twisted ankle!!!!!😃. Nice save.

[@franksauer6329]

Thanks!

[@robvoccola]

Hey @caitlinV, Collab incoming with @HowtoADHD? You both produce great content. There could be a whole series here?

[@tommythecat350]

Hyperfocus helps. Some of us hyperfocus on going down and have wives that are eternally grateful. Gets fun for us too.

[@stevenchatelain2732]

Great subject and video. I struggle with ADHD and High functioning autism (AuDHD). Is it possible for you to do a video on how High functioning Autism (Aspbergers) can affect sexuality and some recommendations? Especially problems with transitions from one task to another. Love your videos.

[@deadandblue]

I asked that myself

[@darkstarphotography9153]

Hello, i am Michael Kowis, i found your channel the other week, and my partner and i have variations of Cerebral Palsy i have not yet seen any content on the intersection of Physical Disabilities/catheter questions, and sex, if you have produced such content i would LOVE to learn as much as i can, for me and for my partner.

[@skullkrusher-dx4kg]

Me listening to this video on a treadmill to help focus.

[@spookerredmenace3950]

ya as a man who has ADHD, i have found it hard to maintain a hard on due to how my brain likes to think about other things, i found if i took one of my meds before sex, i could focus better. also with the girl guiding me

[@DIYDomTheBuilder]

I agree with @Daddystracted When my romantic advances get turned down by my lady it has a much larger negative impact on my mood & overall drive to do anything productive for most of the day. Conversely, at time when my lady gives me the hint early in the day that she wants some loving later that night, my motivation & productivity goes through the roof! Then I spend the rest of the day trying to get as much accomplished as possible before I get home & it’s time for our own “fantasy league” to take the field. 😜

[@deputyowl]

Catlin, I suffer from Parkinson disease which effects my dopamine levels and I am adhd. I take medication for both, how can Improve my sex life

[@user-bg7jd5hh5s]

Make a new video on how to eat out

[@mr.thanos6636]

Yea, this was surprisingly for me, my mind is always just everywhere even during bumping uglies, haha

[@shadowman8325]

I have a doubt how did you become so lean and sexiest in 3 years hardwork? What is your diet?

[@chcgostyle]

As an adult with ASD/ADHD, orgasm with my girlfriend is difficult. She can come over and stay the weekend and if I'm lucky, I'll have 1 orgasm. Most of the time, I don't. She does, and loves the 30min. non-stop sex and multiple orgasms. I will admit, sex without orgasm is just exercise... and even I don't like doing that all the time!!! 🙂

[@novacaine_]

Your gf sounds satisfied, teach us your ways

[@xbaker3868]

Wow, this is my experience too, to a T. Sucks too, because it can make my gf feel like she's having all the fun and isn't doing much for me, but I'm like you, if she's enjoying herself and I'm getting a good workout in, Idc about finishing as much.

[@eminbey3382]

Paylaşım için teşekkürler efendim KZbin kanalımdan herkese selamlar arkadaşlar thanks KZbin video

[@kevingonzalez3673]

Dang my disability makes me think of xes when I am not having it.

[@damnablethief]

What about psychosis? Is it even possible for a man with psychosis to be wanted?

[@beerman1957]

This is me.

[@bill2066]

You'd be much Happier if you Find Jesus Christ In your life. I Promise.

[@Rehabsockstar]

Hi Bill, I'm a bit confused by your comment. I'm also a Christian and the advice I've gotten from this channel has been super insightful in me and my wife's sex life. Important lessons no one ever taught me.

[@bill2066]

I hear what you're saying, but the love of sensuality is sortof my point here. It has destroyed our country and world. Blessings. @@Rehabsockstar

[@glennquagmire3258]

Giggity gigity! Wanna go yachting? @Caitlin V