Is Urbanism Just For Childless Cat People?

[@vgalis]

As someone who lived in very walkable environments until I was 11, then moved to a more typical suburb the idea that suburbs are better for raising kids feels so backwards. I lost my freedom to hang out with friends after school since I wasn't able to drive at that age or really do anything on my own outside the house.

[@usernameusername4037]

Same boat - lived on the NYC subway through elementary school then moved to a suburb where even joining any after school clubs would require me to walk 30 mins on a loud arterial to get home :(

[@MasonAlex-f9p]

@@usernameusername4037 sad that people have to be homeless due to greedy developers

[@adambubble73]

Intended side effect because then it’s much harder to be friends with people in a different socio-economic class

[@dealbreakerc]

​@@MasonAlex-f9pthey weren't homeless. They didn't literally live in the subway. They meant that they lived on the subway line/route.

[@MasonAlex-f9p]

@@dealbreakerc oh, I'm unfamiliar with NYC.

[@eannamcnamara9338]

The fact people believe that ubanism is bad for kids is wild. I grew up in Paris and the idea of not bring able to hop on the metro at 13 to go to school, then to go to the cinema with friends before heading home, all without my parents horrifies me. I dont get how kids in the countryside or in car hells around the world survive with so much reliance on parents

[@Davmm96]

Ben tsé, au moins en campagne tu as tout le terrain pour t'amuser. On faisait souvent des feux de camp en dormant sur place. Plus vieux on jouait même au airsoft pas loin de chez nous et j'allais voir ma première blonde en quatre-roue (aka quad/VTT). Pis t'a pas trop de le temps de t'ennuyer aussi vu que tes parents t'amène faire les récoltes ou aider à faire X job chez quelqu'un (genre repeinture une grange).

[@DiamondKingStudios]

@@Davmm96My father took me to the town where he spent much of his childhood in Pennsylvania, only a short distance from a medium-sized city. It was rather small (one stoplight back in his day), with plenty of nearby farmland and a cornfield practically in his backyard, but the houses were arranged similar to most suburbs, but the streets were calm enough that he could ride his bicycle to school or to friends’ houses (as if his neighbors weren’t already tolerant of him using their backyards as shortcuts to get there) and there were nearby parks and a community swimming pool. Their parents could even drive them to the Susquehanna where the water was shallow enough they could just stand in the middle of the river and fly-fish. It seemed to me like the sort of childhood I wish I had, but he told me he didn’t like it as much as Connecticut because “there wasn’t really much to do.” A lot of Pennsylvania towns are like that, being developed before car-dependency and having homes fairly compact and centralized rather than randomly scattered around.

[@PinkyThumb]

most parents in sprawling suburbs are fear-mongered into protecting their children at all times. Most suburban american kids can't go out alone until they're past 16, and i believe it greatly impacts their development.

[@DiamondKingStudios]

@@PinkyThumb Affected mine, for sure. The crazy thing is there is a general expectation here that every parent who can send their kid to college must, so imagine only being allowed to go out by yourself for two years and then just being sent to be on your own. No wonder high school kids are so reckless; they’ve only two years to do whatever without little consequence.

[@Winnas]

But.... countryside has much higher brithriates?

[@smallmj2886]

One thing I've noticed in your videos is that you often focus on pedestrian and cycling safety for children. Good urbanism is better for children. Congratulations on the new family member. May you all be happy and healthy.

[@kenny1514]

I have an 11 year old and I am a single parent. I briefly lived in the suburbs with my ex when our kid was young and I can tell you with confidence it made parenting a lot harder! Parenting is a lot more convenient when you don't have to drive, when grocery trips are done by foot, getting the kids to activities by transit and cycling, and kids being exposed to a lot of entertainment options like art expos, festivals and community pop up events. Oh and my kid has acknowledged liking the more urbanist lifestyle he has while with me, compared to the isolating suburban lifestyle he has with his mom. They spend more time at home and driving to things/places than actually doing family things and activities.

[@16randomcharacters]

100%. I'm a parent of a 6 year old in Brooklyn. We walk to school in ~10 minutes, walk to the grocery store, walk to friends... Everything is close and convenient, and there are few things that are "trips". I grew up in the suburbs, and I remember almost everything was a trip. I'd never want to live that way again.

[@joycevanrossum1811]

Yesterday, I was walking my dogs and I noticed two young kinds on small bikes going up a hill and going down again it again with mom on the bike waiting for them to have their fun and then go on their way again. They were all enjoying the transit from school to home, it wasn't just a chore and lovely to see. I wish every parent something like that.

[@grisflyt]

Absolutely. Americans invented "quality time" because virtually everything has to be planned. "On Saturday, we're talking the kids to the play center." Kids used to just go outside to play. Our whole society is whack in this regard. Helicopter parenting isn't about the children. It's about the parents and their ego. "Look how involved we are in our children. Look how much we sacrifice for our children. Look what great parents we are. We have full time jobs, too. Yes, we are that great."

[@HelloKittyyQueen]

@@grisflytYeah Exactly my mom is annoying i can’t even go on walks anymore without her breathing on my shoulder!

[@HelloKittyyQueen]

@@grisflytfinally someone agrees ( even if it is a adult)

[@scpatl4now]

Congratulations on the soon to be new arrival!! Your life is about to change in ways you can't even imagine (most of it good)

[@midcenturymoldy]

"And people should be able to get home from bars without driving." Don't you know you're supposed to drink at home? Preferably alone. In front of the TV.

[@AntiBunnyStudio]

We have a whole song about it.

[@DiamondKingStudios]

Honestly, George Thorogood is probably a musician that one would associate rather strongly with suburban white dads. Frankly the whole genre of 1980s blues rock could fit into that.

[@yuriydee]

My friends and I always joke about how like 99% of bars in suburbs have big parking lots, almost inviting people to commit crimes by driving after drinking.

[@DiamondKingStudios]

@@yuriydee I’d frankly prefer bars have those “porte-cochere” things hotels have, to make the job easier for “designated drivers” or rideshare/taxi drivers. Make the outside look like a gas station for all I care. The only parking should be for bar staff, maybe extra for that one guy in the carpool who doesn’t drink but tags along anyway for some reason.

[@user-gu9yq5sj7c]

​@@yuriydee Watch Yet Another Urbanist on drunk driving.

[@samuri2011]

Urbanism is essential to healthy adolescence... I'm finally moving out of the suburbs at 29 and I feel that I haven't been able to get experiences that teach me to be independent just about all my life. Empty, lifeless places, car crashes daily, parking lots..

[@shaunbrowne3963]

I live in my own 15 minute city. It’s not of my own choosing, however. I’ve been diagnosed with dementia, lost my ability to drive a car, or even a bicycle, so I’m forced to walk everywhere. I have a bus pass, and people who can drive me. But, mostly I walk. Fortunately, there are 5 coffee shops within walking distance, 2 libraries, 2 food stores, even a chocolate shop. All within walking distance. Even though I wish it otherwise, my 15 minute city is quite acceptable.

[@CHAOS80120]

Where is it?

[@louiszhang3050]

I'm sorry to hear you've been diagnosed with dementia. I'm sure it's not easy, but I'm glad you have a place like that for yourself. Many people I know with dementia lose their freedoms completely and become confined to a singular building like prisoners in the US.

[@truedarklander]

Aww man, it sucks you got diagnosed with dementia :( Wishing for the best for you ✊

[@shaunbrowne3963]

@@CHAOS80120 We are in Galt, which is part of the city of Cambridge, in Ontario, Canada.

[@jocelynnielsen9154]

​@@shaunbrowne3963 Oh dang, I grew up in Hespeler! I used to walk to school or the park and visit friends without supervision, I would just call my parents and let them know where I was and when I was coming home. I've moved now and I miss how easy it was to get to like, the grocery store, even.

[@SnapDash]

All the best in your upcoming adventures in parenthood! I think transit is great for families. It turns travel time into something social - a big improvement over locking a child into a car seat and either ignoring them while driving safely, or driving distracted in order to engage with the child.

[@Pundit07]

Not only that, but transit is also great for children’s development and navigation skills.

[@DiamondKingStudios]

@@Pundit07Definitely. I was fortunate enough in my teenage years to live in a neighborhood where local streets were calm and safe enough that my mother had little issue taking my sister and me on evening walks around the area quite often. This would give me a chance to observe street signs, but I didn’t really feel an immediate need to pay attention to them until I had to learn to drive at 15 and 16 (though the navigation app on my phone kind of hand-held me through that). I eventually began to spend much of my free time on Google Maps Street View, surveying routes before I would drive them and seeing what viable routes I could take to walk the mile or so from my school to my house (the limited sidewalks made them rather winding compared to driving). By the time I got to college, I spent a lot of my time just walking around campus and the nearby town to get a lay of the land. If I am ever to have children, I’d want to encourage them to be more independent than I was, and making sure they can safely navigate around town or neighboring towns, if necessary, would be a good start. If I have relatives or in-laws in places fairly accessible to transit, I would hope that they would be able to, by the age of 15, purchase a train ticket between our town and that relative’s town, get to the station and get on the train in time, arrive at the destination, and know which transit route would take them to that relative’s house (or just which streets to walk down). I think it would be possible for someone of that age, if properly prepared for that task. Prior generations have expected more from younger children.

[@andyl4565]

People have been raising children in cities for centuries and the recent backlash against cities is purely political and given the current environment it's only going to become more hostile.

[@MrBirdnose]

There's some truth to it; noisy kids bouncing off the walls in an apartment is hard on the neighbors, and not great for the kids, who have nowhere to play. I know someone who had to move because kids pounding on the walls next door kept them up all night, and the apartment complex management said they couldn't do anything because enforcing the noise rules could be seen as discriminatory.

[@gumbyshrimp2606]

It’s a recent trend that only occurred because of a mass demographic shift which brought crime with it.

[@MasonAlex-f9p]

@@MrBirdnose then build a parkette

[@MasonAlex-f9p]

@@gumbyshrimp2606 It's not a trend, it's a movement, and don't be ageist. Don't associate graffiti with teenagers.

[@MasonAlex-f9p]

Hostile to nimbies. How do you think people raised children before WWII? There wasn't car dependent suburbia back then.

[@EggTamago7]

As someone who grew up in the suburbs, I absolutely hated how little autonomy I had. I had to be driven everywhere until I was deemed old enough to walk around safely. There was a lot of "go play outside", which basically equated to "exist outside on a big lawn" or "ride my bike around in circles on the driveway". Cool. Once I was allowed to get around on my own, my options for getting around were very limited. Friends lived far enough away that I'd still ask for rides constantly. Ditto with school. If I wanted to go to the mall or anywhere more interesting than a gas station or a cafe that was seemingly always closed, I'd need to take at least 2 low-frequency, meandering buses and spend hours in transit... or ask for a ride so I could make it in under 15 minutes. If I wanted a part-time job, I had no chance at finding a place that I could get to myself. So, once again, I had to ask for a ride. So, big surprise I mostly just stayed at home in my room, playing video games and gaining weight. As a result of this, I felt basically forced into buying a car as soon as I could (ie. tens of thousands of dollars wasted while attending university), and I felt like I was thrown in the deep-end of general independence and autonomy, since I had basically no opportunities to develop any of that as a kid or teenager. That sheltered suburban kid stereotype is real.

[@mattmontgomery2800]

Congrats on the pregnancy, you two will be great parents. When we went to Paris last year with a baby, we originally had a hard time with all the stairs and the stroller, we quickly learned we could carry it like a stretcher up and downstairs with our son inside. Super easy, unfortunately not an option for everyone to be carried up stairs while they roll along.

[@KyrilPG]

Recently, the region's (and IDFM, the Greater Paris transit authority) president announced that she now fully supports a complete accessibility transformation of the historical metro and launched a series of conferences and meetings to prepare the move. So, this should massively improve in the coming years with both the fully accessible Grand Paris Express humongous expansion (essentially doubling the size of the metro network), and the new accessibility features to come on the historical metro network. Furthermore, 20+ new stations and nearly 35 kilometers of new,fully accessible extensions to the transit system have opened this year (metro, tram, and RER). Visiting Paris with a stroller should get a lot easier in the short and mid term.

[@charthepirate]

Also, at least here in NYC if you roll up alone to subway stairs chances are someone will stop and offer a hand to get the stroller down.

[@kaitlyn__L]

@@KyrilPG that's great. I use a wheelchair and Paris has become effectively off-limits for me to visit, unless I wanted to budget a LOT for taxis.

[@KyrilPG]

@@kaitlyn__L There are plenty of buses, they are not as efficient as the metro but they'd work. Right now, the RER in Paris core city and a good chunk of the region is mostly accessible, with some exceptions. All 14 tramway lines are almost fully accessible (there are maybe a few stations that are not ideal or a couple rare inaccessible ones in the distant suburbs). As for the metro, M14 is entirely accessible, M11 is accessible on the new extension, and the 2 stations on the historical route leading to the new extension. New stations on new extensions of other lines are also accessible. All new lines of the Grand Paris Express gigantic metro expansion will be fully accessible and following best practices. Most bus stations are accessible, and when they are not ideal, the transit agency tried to put one that's ideal next to one that's not. So, you can already visit using a wheelchair but just not as efficiently as it would using the historical metro. The historical metro should be upgraded for accessibility but it could take 20 years. It's very much manageable right now with alternate routes without relying on taxis too much. (PRM too, but not in a wheelchair except on bad days or longer excursions). Certain attractions won't be entirely accessible, like the Eiffel tower where you'll have access to the 1st and 2nd main levels, but not the top one (I don't either, due to the crutch as all visitors to the top level must be able to walk down a very long set of stairs by themselves in case of emergency). The sewers museum is fully accessible, despite being underground, but not the catacombs, because there are historical stairs to access them. (Though visually impaired and blind people can visit with company because they can't use a white cane). If you'd like to know more about accessibility in Europe, I participated in a video of Type Ashton about the subject a few months ago. It's "Europe's biggest mobility issue (not what you think)", by Type Ashton, on June 30th 2024.

[@KyrilPG]

@@kaitlyn__L There are plenty of buses, they are not as efficient as the metro but they'd work. Right now, the RER in Paris core city and a good chunk of the region is mostly accessible, with some exceptions. All 14 tramway lines are almost fully accessible (there are maybe a few stations that are not ideal or a couple rare inaccessible ones in the distant suburbs). As for the metro, M14 is entirely accessible, M11 is accessible on the new extension, plus the 2 stations on the historical route leading to the new extension. New stations on new extensions of other lines are also accessible. All new lines of the Grand Paris Express gigantic metro expansion will be fully accessible and following best practices. Most bus stations are accessible, and when they are not ideal, the transit agency tried to put one that's ideal next to one that's not. So, you can already visit using a wheelchair but just not as efficiently as it would using the historical metro. It should be upgraded for accessibility but it could take 20 years. A Paris visit is very much manageable right now with alternative routes and without relying on taxis too much. (PRM too, but not in a wheelchair except on bad days or longer excursions). Certain attractions won't be entirely accessible, like the Eiffel tower where you'll have access to the 1st and 2nd main levels, but not the top one (I don't either, due to the crutch as all visitors to the top level must be able to walk down a very long set of stairs by themselves in case of issue). The sewers museum is fully accessible, despite being underground, but not the catacombs, because there are historical stairs to access them. (Though visually impaired and blind people can visit if accompanied because they can't use a white cane). I collaborated to a YT vid of Type Ashton about the subject last June. "Europe's biggest mobility issue (not what you think)", Type Ashton (June 30th 24).

[@stevemiller7949]

Bless you for this. I expect urbanism is going to be challenged for the next 4 years. Fortunately, a lot of people will find urban living makes sense for them. Our cities will find a way to survive because they are a vital asset, I believe. Keep up the good work.😊😊❤❤

[@djspacewhale]

**oof**, the school thing is one of the viler bits of US domestic policy. Our public schools are largely funded by property taxes in a given "school district", and decades of explicit and implicit segregation combined with cultural emphases on a "fear of crime", "the traditional family", etc have led to the vast majority of land wealth centered in these suburban neighborhoods and therefore the vast majority of school funding

[@davidhorrocks]

You might want to check the data on this. I'm most familiar with Maryland, where Baltimore City spending per student is the highest in the state. Where local revenue falls short as you describe, the state budget is subsidizing. Other factors are at play. dls.maryland.gov/pubs/prod/NoPblTabPDF/2024PerPupilTrends.pdf

[@cmmartti]

For anyone wondering how it is in Canada, schools are funded at a provincial level according to need. This is largely based on the number of students*, but other factors do come into play. This means that the quality of schools across the country is incredibly consistent. It was mentioned in the video that in Ontario, the Catholic school system is perceived as higher quality (and there were plenty of non-Catholics who attended), but I don't think there was all that much truth to it. * I remember that the principal of one of my schools we were switching to mid-year requested that my parents enroll us a few weeks earlier so that we would be counted in that year's funding. I think there were five of us in that school, which likely would have been a relatively large funding increase.

[@Excelnaught-f4b]

Perceived school quality is rarely about academics or funding. They are trying to avoid badly behaved children with neglectful parents, who make life hell for their classmates. Both catholic schools and schools in exclusive suburbs have this advantage: your fellow parents are the kind of people who are willing to make financial sacrifices for their child’s future. In that situation, the only neglectful families you need to worry about are wealthy ones for whom money doesn’t matter. And they tend to send their kids to fancy boarding schools you can’t afford, anyway

[@MGoodSilver]

My partner and I deeply believe that urbanism and growing up walking is healthier for kids all around. We’ve been able to achieve that while they’ve been in daycare, but next spring we will be moving to the farthest NW corner of our city for the elementary school. We are firm believers in public education, and did the math on private education to allow us to keep living in a more dense neighborhood; it didn’t make financial sense and we’d still have to drive. We toured 12 public elementary schools in the last year, and the only one with the resources we needed for our kids and curriculum we wanted was in a car dependent area. On the bright side the houses all back up to a large state nature preserve, where the school kids also regularly get to hike and learn during class time. We bought a minivan. We’re moving to the far reaches of our city. The trade off is different for everyone, but if you have a kid that needs specific resources, you’re going to upend your entire worldview to get them what they need.

[@nolifenerdwhohasnevergotten]

As someone who grew up in a smaller city (50,000 people) and who lives in a big city (Toronto), I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather raise children. During the summer, I love looking out of my balcony to see the diverse group of like 20 kids all playing soccer or on the playground together. I love seeing the kids going around the city on their own on their bikes or by transit, it's so lovely to see them go on adventures because they aren't reliant on their parents for rides everywhere. Not only that but the density means a broader tax base so there are so kickass playgrounds that I would have LOVED as a child.

[@oliviergrattongagne]

Where can we find a kickass playground in Toronto next time we visit? I enjoy them as much as my kid 😂

[@jeanbolduc5818]

Toronto is built for cars and not a green city . Doug Ford wAnts more roads , more cars and no green space .

[@OpeongoLine]

@@oliviergrattongagne There are many nice little playgrounds, but if you want something more extraordinary, there's the Jamie Bell Adventure Playground in High Park (west end) and the playgrounds at Corktown Common (east end).

[@la-go-xy]

The (downsized) suburbs should be improved for children/pedestrians/cycling with sidewalks/shortcuts/bike paths, safe crossings, schools, small businesses... Then the families could choose from different but equally attractive settlement styles.

[@JacobMendozaturtles]

This is why Im such a big pusher of single staircase here in America. 3-4 bedroom apartments need to be a norm and it should be avaliable and competitive with single family housing

[@MasonAlex-f9p]

We need more options for housing, not less. Having some dude live in a 6 bedroom house isn't very smart, because he only needs 1 bedroom.

[@n8pls543]

@@MasonAlex-f9p They didn't disagree with you, they just said that the availability of an extra option should be the norm?

[@neubro1448]

Need more options on how apartments are constructed. North America has a really low minimum height requirement to mandate two staircases and is why apartments are so ugly. You could build taller apartments on smaller lots with four units on each story and only one staircase.

[@MrBirdnose]

@@neubro1448 I mean, those rules didn't come from nowhere. They came because people died when fires blocked the only staircase.

[@3of11]

Yeah I have noticed so many 1-2 bedroom only complexes. When they have a dog park but no playground you can tell what they expect their client base to be.

[@peanutnozone]

Love your channel and congratulations on the addition to your family. I love that you're going to raise a child in the city -- this happens much more outside of north america and this needs to happen more here in our cities!!

[@ericquest1802]

First of all Congratulations!!! So happy for you two. I'm a father of two living in downtown Vancouver in 1100sqft. We have no problem with the space. One thing we gain by living downtown is COMMUNITY! I can't walk out my apartment without bumping into another family we know, which means my kids are always surrounded by friends. Amenities like community centres downtown are amazing social gathering places. Honestly, I'm jealous of my kids'childhood because they always have friends wherever they go. I feel my suburban upbringing by contrast was at times far more isolated. Looking forward to more urban family content!

[@MatrixTheKitty]

1100sqft downtown?? How many arms and legs does that cost?

[@punishedkid]

This isn't related to the topic, but I always found it sweet how you alternate between speakers in your videos.

[@AnotherDuck]

It's a good way to have more variation in the videos.

[@yuriydee]

Your comment at 7:42 immediately made me think of CityNerd's tweet from a couple of weeks ago about people willing to vote for fascists if it meant safer public transit. Overall the video made me realize that as someone who doesnt have kids and just at different place in my life in terms of priorities, it can become easy to dismiss other people's concerns of public safety. Its definitely noticeable when I travel to other cities and see these "urbanist centers" where new apartments are built, they are usually heavily catered to singles or young couples. We do not get the healthy mix of different generations that Ive seen in Europe or Japan.

[@jacobpowell1882]

I think that’s a big reason why at first concerned many family oriented people don’t embrace urbanism. What we see as the target demographic in all the down town new builds are young working professionals. Makes us feel not welcome.

[@davidhorrocks]

Congratulations!!! Your thoughtfulness and open mindedness about your new priorities shows you will be such great parents!

[@EdwardM-t8p]

Growing up, I lived in nontypical suburbs --- a streetcar suburb within the city proper, a suburbanized small town in New England which kept its character, and a baby suburb out in the countryside. Each in its own way was walkable. It wasn't until going to college and taking a job during the summer that I found out what typical US suburbs were really like: boring autocentric hellscapes!

[@DiamondKingStudios]

“Baby suburb out in the countryside” Either that or “suburbanized small town” basically explains many boroughs of Lancaster County, PA outside the main city, many of which used to be connected by an interurban (Conestoga Traction Co.), and where my father grew up. I couldn’t imagine taking a bicycle to school where I grew up, but he could just fine because the streets were quieter with fewer people.

[@droson8712]

I live in a Philly streetcar suburb which is still pretty car dependent but many people, especially immigrant families who can't purchase a car right away traverse the area on foot and train into the city and trolley into the outer burbs which is why we're here in the first place.

[@Excelnaught-f4b]

Most suburbs throughout the country are more similar to your childhood experience. The “hellish autoscape” is common only in California and about a dozen badly managed metro areas that I wouldn’t want to live in, anyway.

[@mausmalone]

(a) congrats! (b) Don't worry so much about having to lug around a huge, bulky stroller and diaper bag. That phase is real, but it's very temporary. Once your kid starts walking on their own you can easily get away with a small diaper bag and lightweight umbrella stroller for trips around the neighborhood.

[@cmmartti]

Strider bikes are great for toddlers, they can easily keep up with adults without getting tired, and the bikes are so small and light they're easy to grab with one hand and toss in a closet. My brother's kids have used the same one for many years, in turn, until they learned to ride real bikes.

[@doctorkiwano]

I was going to say something pretty close to this, except that before your kid can walk on their own, a sling is often a good alternative to a bulky stroller for trips that don't require you to be on your feet for too long in a single stretch (which would include most trips where the accessibility of transit vehicles/stations to a bulky stroller would be a consideration). So not only is the kid-can't-walk-yet phase very temporary, it also doesn't amount to being sentenced to poorer transit options until it's over.

[@tebryenton]

Can confirm

[@LP-bb6pi]

Yes, I also wanted to add the idea of wearing babies. I did it in the Montreal metro often with 2 kids (elder in umbrella stroller and younger attached to my back) and it works fine. And although it feels like a significant part of life, it does pass rather quickly. Bu the time we were considering the feasability of a cargo bike for child transport, they were already getting big enough to cycle on their own (or at least with a follow-me)

[@dothedo3667]

And practicing walking places once they're toddling is great. They get used to it, have fun exploring, and you don't have to bring around a big stroller all the time. We never took the stroller to our nearby park but would always see our neighbour take their 4 year old in a stroller and I could think was how heavy it is pushing up a large stroller and child up the hill when they're perfectly capable of walking. Idk, maybe it's just me, I'd rather not bring the stroller and just pick up the child in moments when they get tired. You know how they are, if they see the stroller then they're more likely to always want to be in it. It's helpful to not have to pack and bring a big stroller for two kids when we do take the car somewhere.

[@aquaarietta]

I'm also currently pregnant with my first child! Very much looking forward to more family-oriented urbanist content you two put out. And congrats!

[@MIRobin22]

Man, your commentary is so balanced and sensible. Always refreshing

[@crowmob-yo6ry]

Exactly why OTU are more respected than NJB, as they deserve to be.

[@amg1591]

Congratulations! I’m so grateful that channels like this exposed me to urbanist ideas before we had kids. We have 2 now, and parenting is SO MUCH EASIER bc we prioritized living in a walkable area. Kids bouncing off the wall? Walk 2 minutes to the park. Out of milk? Walk 5 min to the store. Late and need something essential? 24/7 shop on the corner. And that’s to say nothing of the amazing access they have to the library, museums, constant events, and a huge variety of activities for kids Having tasted urban parenting id sooner die than try to raise kids in a typical suburb

[@aidanmccarthy9249]

"You wouldn't take a child into a smoking restaurant, if those still existed" They still existed when I was a child(90s). And my parents always chose the smoking section. I absolutely hated it. I remember one of the lung health advocacy groups would come to my school back then talking about how bad second hand smoke was and whatnot. They were mentioning talks of Ontario banning smoking in cars with kids, and me thinking it couldn't come soon enough. But sadly it didn't come until I was in my mid 20s.

[@pogCibi]

They still exist in my country

[@IshmaelPrice]

People with children are even more in need of affordable housing and transportation. It's kind of absurd just how much people value car ownership and detached houses compared with every other positive thing you could do with money. People sacrifice health, education, enriching experiences, and so much more just to pay for cars and houses. Makes no sense.

[@stephensmith1509]

Congratulations! Looking forward to much content in the next few years about urbanism for new families!

[@Coffeepanda294]

Grew up in semi-rural Norway and was able to get around everywhere on foot and bike (and, occassionally, skis). Then we moved to Houston for three years (from I was 15 until I was 18), and I was suddenly dependent on my parents to drive me everywhere that wasn't within walking distance. We were lucky and lived near the edge of the suburb, so we did have shops, gas station, and a LAN gaming place within a hundred metres or so, but still. The difference was striking.

[@naturallybikes2313]

Congratulations, on your exciting family news, and another great video. I love your point that walkability, density, housing variety, mixed use, and transit are not always confined to the downtown core. When my partner and I moved out of High Park in Toronto to start a family in the suburbs, none of these urbanist concepts existed, or if they did, it was anything but mainstream, and understood by a few intellectuals at best. And yet, here we are 25 years later in a neighbourhood where the school is still a safe walk across a huge green park packed with kids, the GO station is a ten-minute bike ride (I took it downtown every day for 15 years), library, rec centre, hockey rink, pool, high school, groceries, restaurants, fast food, wine, beer, post office, ice cream, Tims, Starbucks, etc. are even closer -- very walkable. A vast network of multi-use recreational trails is literally 50 meters from our door. Somehow we knew the immense value of this location when we picked it, without actually knowing what we were doing. Now that the kids are grown, I can see how this (the burbs, but a certain kind of burbs) was an ideal place for all of us to grow together.

[@marksandoval5361]

Many people live in the suburbs because they can't afford to live in the urban center. The further you get from the center the less expensive housing is. It's not uncommon to be able to buy entire house in the burbs for the price of an efficiency apartment downtown. Follow the money!

[@theuncalledfor]

Why would downtown housing be more expensive, if people don't want to live there? Those people make no sense. If housing supply downtown was better, prices wouldn't be so high. And yet these people still argue that the suburbs are better somehow?!

[@famitory]

yes, but not having to own a car in the city makes a pretty big offset. not enough for every situation, certantly, but it does help

[@Pundit07]

@@theuncalledfor Not to mention, whatever amount of money they save by living in a car dependent suburb will instead be spent on their car, maintenance, gas, etc.

[@MrBirdnose]

@@theuncalledfor It's always going to be that way to some extent. Building tall and dense is more expensive per square foot.

[@theuncalledfor]

@@MrBirdnose No, it's not. It's only more expensive when you build _really_ tall. And putting buildings closer together isn't a factor at all.

[@egelmuis]

A stroller is not really necessary and often inconvenient in public transportation. A baby sling or baby carrier is often much more convenient from our own experience. If you do want a stroller, look for one that is also good for carrying groceries and other goods. Congratulations👶

[@BlueBD]

Cargo Strollers if you wanna go shopping with a child. a Sling or carrier if the child in the only major cargo your going to be hauling.

[@SayNoToDemocide1]

I'd even argue that walk able cities are pro-natalist and pro-family, since parents aren't forced to watch over kids 24/7, and can work or enjoy themselves, while the kids have better childhoods and get more experiences on their own. The car-dependent suburbs and car-centric/pedestrian unfriendly single-use-zoned cities are a post-WWII aberration in human history, and more of an Anglophone post-WWII aberration at that. Also, all of the high total fertility rate countries are not Anglophone countries with car dependent cities, but are mixed-use cities with transit and are at least somewhat walkable. The guy who created the video series "Demographics and Fertility" talked about this in his 2nd video. He calls American (actually Anglophone) cities dystopian, as someone who survived Nicolae Ceausecu's Romania. Urban design is a pretty overlooked factor when it comes to fertility. I even know some younger right-wingers who are tired of car dependency.

[@DiamondKingStudios]

This is definitely an issue that can bridge the political divide. I’ve always associated “Strong Towns” as a rather conservative group, especially fiscally, since they’re largely based out of small towns and have many financial arguments against car-dependent sprawl (such as how massively subsidized highway construction/housing development is inherently unsustainable and only encourages further development when the prior infrastructure is due for maintenance, how denser areas contribute higher tax revenues and effectively subsidize folks living in sparser areas, etc). And there’s always folks who will support anything to let them have fewer traffic jams, and of those many think there’s just simply too many cars on the road/taking up parking space and they ought to have some other way to get around.

[@polishtheday]

I hate it when Canada is put on a list of anglophone countries. In terms of language, the majority in Quebec isn’t anglophone and culturally the rest of Canada isn’t either.

[@KCH55]

Unfortunately, that's not what we're seeing, The fertility is higher in rural areas, and higher in suburban areas than cities. Rural areas are the highest. Well I don't disagree with you. Those things would be great for families. That's just not what we're seeing. Urbanism decreases birth rate but does not increase it, There have been quite a few thoughts on that one is that maybe there's just more potential partners and those people date for longer. Another thing could be that there's too much to do and little time to do so people wait longer. A major factor, however, is cost to purchase a home is higher typically, although their atypical exceptions to the rule. Although things are changing, rural communities have a high rate of older people. The average farmer is in their '60s at least in the USA.

[@SayNoToDemocide1]

@@polishtheday How on Earth is the rest of Canada not considered Anglophone? Australia, New Zealand, and British Caribbean countries are all Anglophone countries (including car-dependent suburbs). Even countries like the Bahamas and Jamaica, despite having laid-back to no zoning laws have some pedestrian-unfriendly cities. Same for England, though I'm unfamiliar about Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and Ireland.

[@spherica1438]

I'm not sure this is true. Some of the countries with the lowest Total Fertility Rate are known for dense, walkable cities with good transit: South Korea, Japan, Italy, and Spain to name a few.

[@Lobster_wizard]

I think the idea that schools are better in the suburbs is more of a perceived truth than a reality. I can't speak for cities with wealthier suburbs like Miami and Chicago, but in my city, the suburban school districts are the same quality if not worse than those in the central city. My city has a lot of poorer suburbs, which may play a big part in it, but this also seems to be true in Los Angeles and Phoenix. I admit that my knowledge on this topic is minimal, but I hope my personal experience can add some helpful insight. Great video! I hope I can one day raise a car-free family in my city, just like my parents raised me.

[@laurie7689]

I grew up un the 80's. My experience was the opposite. The suburban schools were well-maintained and there was less student violence. I was one of those students who got bussed downtown during the infamous school bussing program that existed at the time. The middle school in the urban center I attended was far from maintained, filthy, and covered in graffiti. The students were violent (fought with knives), thievery was rampant; and while I was there, some poor girl got raped in the restroom. The entire area was blighted. The only outdoor gym/exercise area was an asphalted basketball court with a track around it surrounded by tall chain link fencing topped with razor wire and hobos shuffling around beyond that. Looking at that school today on Google Maps, the area still looks blighted. I think they changed out the old fencing for normal chain link. The track is gone. Its obvious that a building belonging to the school was torn down - maybe the old gym with the collapsing roof. Looking at the current report card for the school, it still is low performing and has around 19% of bad student behavior events. So, not much has changed.

[@Lobster_wizard]

@@laurie7689 Wow. That's really intense. My middle school had a lot of the same problems you just mentioned. I guess you're right, not much has changed. In my city, it just seems like the suburban schools aren't much better, unfortunately. I really do blame the American education system for prioritizing schools in wealthier, safer communities over those in the city. Thank you for sharing your story. It's really interesting to hear what everyone has gone through.

[@davidfreeman3083]

As always. Great video! 2 things that I think worth looking into, given the perception that 'urbanism is family/kid-unfriendly': 1. Yes, moving closer to your jobs is a big priority for many people to move. And that could especially be true when you have kids. But what is unfortunately not always true (at least here in US, in a handful of otherwise pretty 'urbanized' cities. Looking at you, Philly! :() is that the center cities tend to be closer to more jobs. The suburban sprawl has gone way beyond 'people work in the cities and then sleep in a single-family home in the suburbs' in a lot of places in NA, the version we look at now is that . The truth is, a lot of jobs nowadays, especially those 'white-collar corporate jobs' that many (if not most) higher educated people go into, are based in the suburbs. And unfortunately, it is not a decision that ppl going into those jobs, or even young parents (most of whom are still not that senior on those corporate ladders) are involved in. A spin off for that would be that there are cities where both residential and commercial neighborhoods are walkable, but for a lot of reasons, there is a lack of funding & culture of 'higher order' car-independent transportation options such as bike infrastructure and of course, transit. (Looking at you now, Baltimore!) This couples with the housing crisis create a unique situation: for most people, they can go to a lot of places without a car, if it's close enough to walk there. Which unfortunately usually don't include commuting, unless they live close enough that they can walk to their work location, which is usually not that affordable. And that is when questions such as 'where is the parking' becomes more legit for them, even when they live in a 15 minute city, or 5 minute city or whatever. These situation would push people away from living in urbanized areas in general. Although I do think families would take that even more seriously, as financial & job security can be more important. 2. I haven't done a ton of research on this. But I feel that one reason that people don't think cities are kid-friendly, is that while living in the cities can be challenging for families (having to have more space, higher requirements for safety, affordability, etc.), in many American cities there aren't a lot of amenities that makes raising kids in a city a benefit. Like, even in cities like NYC, I do feel that there seems to be a lack of 'family friendly' establishments which are meant for parents to take their kids to on weekends/holidays, etc. Now growing up in Asia, I think I'm pretty confident that it doesn't need to be that way. But that just shows how long a way we have to go on urbanism, especially when needs of families with kids (which despite everything, I think the majority of ppl still eventually starts a family & raise kids) are taken into account.

[@crowmob-yo6ry]

You must be a cynical doomer NJB fanboy.

[@mdhazeldine]

Urbanism is super important for parents too. Being able to get around with your babies in a pram without a car is very useful, as is being in a place where your kids have the freedom to travel to where they want to go, safely and on their own. Suburbs can be good for urbanism, but it helps if they are built more densely. The problem with North American suburbs (apart from the bad zoning and lack of bike/pedestrian paths) is that everything is so spread out, it takes ages to walk or cycle anywhere. In my view, the solution is densify suburbs, not with tall buildings, but with smaller houses, on smaller plots and with smaller apartment buildings of 2-4 stories, and adding in small shopping areas or corner shops. You could easily double the density without dramatically changing the neighbourhood character, and then everything would be half the distance away, and amenities could more easily be justified.

[@la-go-xy]

Also, it would be great if the kids can get to their friends in a short walk. And almost everyone benefits if you have some family friendly meeting spots,

[@crash.override]

Sigh, I can imagine the direct-neighbors making NIMBY arguments against stores at the town council meeting already.

[@la-go-xy]

@@crash.override In existing suburbs it surely is a point. However, the meetings are good to find those neighbourhoods where most people are in favour/can imagine the benefits or get convinced by insight, as well as taking the concerns into account. Some suburbs will remain sprawled. Give them the choice where to live... Where new areas are built, it can be done from the start.

[@Excelnaught-f4b]

And suddenly the exurbs would be the new hot market.

[@truedarklander]

​@@Excelnaught-f4bwhat do you mean by this

[@shiptj01]

I'm a single guy in an apartment. The only time I want a house in the suburbs is when I want to play instruments without headphones.

[@edspace.]

While I've never had children (congratulations on your new baby by the way) and even been told that I needn't bother with Tinder as with my autism I'd be "more likely to get into the Coldstream Guards than get a swipe right" and I'm in that peculiar category of someone who loves transit (when it works) and hates cities, perhaps I should add Urbanity to my Autism and Me series, I live in a market town suburb with a short walk to shopping (even more specialized businesses like a pharmacy, barbers and window shop), parks, community spaces, schooling and a bus stop with regular buses into town and train links to highly specialized businesses. Although it seems strange to me that a car dependent environment is seen as better for children when crossing car centric roads are so much more stressful, since cars are a lot less predictable than buses and trains as to when, where and how fast they come, at least that's what I found in the cities I've been in.

[@crowmob-yo6ry]

Ableism is the worst.

[@carlinthomas9482]

This channel deserves way more subscribers.

[@crowmob-yo6ry]

Agreed. I don't get why the bitter angry ignorant hateful cynical doomer NJB has more subscribers.

[@crowmob-yo6ry]

A lot more than NJB has.

[@carlinthomas9482]

@@crowmob-yo6ry I like NJB and his videos are full of useful research and information, but on a personal level, he comes across as cynical, condescending, and a bit of classist.

[@crowmob-yo6ry]

@@carlinthomas9482 exactly.

[@danrobrish3664]

"You wouldn't take your child into a smoking restaurant, if those still existed." The Balkans would like a word.

[@Ge0rge249]

Pittsburgh has entered the chat

[@thyagofurtado]

I grew up in an apartment, very close to downtown of a big city. 5min walk from my school, lots of city parks and walking access to music schools, language schools, martial arts gyms, etc, which I was lucky to go to through my childhood years. I always hung out with my friends, we would cram up our bedrooms with 5-7 kids to play video games like Worms, Heroes of Might and Magic, fighting games, etc. I live in the suburbs now with my wife (DINKs) because we enjoy the quiet. I see some kids trying to play on the street, but there's so few of them now, no other kid in a big radius with the same age group, etc. I think the suburbs might've been nice in the 50s, 60s when families had lots of kids. Now it seems like it's just elder folks, 40+ adults and a tiny fraction of young families, who often have a single child, no siblings. This is where the world is heading to (as countries become more developed, richer, more educated and less religious, I think it will happen to all of them... The suburbs will be mostly for retired people.)

[@pbilk]

Congratulations on your coming child! 😊 The little one entering your lives will have challenges and blessings. Enjoy all those things and the learning opportunity. When we had our our first child we were living above a store in a historic downtown in Ontario. It had okay off-road bike paths and almost non-existent transit (bus and overpriced taxi). With our second child we moved into a triplex close to downtown in a small-medium city with great bike paths, transit (rail and bus) and amenities. 😊 Good urbanism is for families too. We just need more 3-4 bedroom units.

[@Notorious_MIG]

Congrats on expecting your first. Just had my first in toronto and I love taking her out for walks. The stroller is actually pretty convenient for carrying snacks and water, but it also opens your eyes to how inaccessible certain places are. We need to double check the ttc map now to know if we can get off at certain stations. Also non-functioning handicap doors have become my latest pet peeve.

[@AtsircEcarg]

I live in a city and have a child and I often feel hostility from other city dwellers themselves. I think the other side of people thinking cities are bad for kids is that some people who live in cities think their city environment should be kid free.

[@Pundit07]

Just a personal theory I have here, but I wonder if that’s maybe due to the rise of children being brought into adult establishments like bars, breweries, wineries, etc. Not saying it’s right, if anything that just proves how important third spaces for kids are and why those declining is overall bad for everyone.

[@AtsircEcarg]

@ it might just be my city but I’ve had people tell me the park was for dogs not kids while my child was playing on the play structure built for children. I’ve had people at street fairs call me a “birther” and spit at us. I’ve had people mad that my child was quietly playing in a play are the coffee shop provided. We aren’t going to adult spaces, but adults seem to be angry children are in public spaces. These people are definitely the minority but these interactions stand out and make me nervous.

[@rck2214]

​@@AtsircEcarg Cities tend to be liberal and hating children is more of a liberal thing in my eyes. Especially since you're called a birther it suggests they are in some anti child echo chamber of sorts. There's bad people on both sides of the issue and the bad ones really do make it harder for people to understand urbanism

[@polishtheday]

I don’t have children, but among the pleasures of living in my Montreal neighbourhood are hearing the kids during recess at the school on my street, watching parents out for their daily winter walk with young infants and talking to the group of toddlers from the garderie asking questions about my dog or cat. It feels more real than my old neighbourhood in another city where I once heard a neighbour complain about ultrawide strollers blocking the sidewalk and another one in my condo telling a prospective buyer that the building wasn’t suitable for kids.

[@DakotaFord592]

​@@rck2214 hating children a liberal thing?? Wtf? Republicans are the ones who don't give a f about children. Standing up for the rights of the unborn only to cut social programs and spending that helps raise the kids!!! Republicans just want more births! Any birth. More taxpayers!!

[@vincewhite5087]

Suburbs might work till your children get older. They want to not be trapped in back yard all the time. In calgary, you have to go to school designated based on you address. Very hard to go to school you want. Depends where cut off line.

[@adamcheklat7387]

Fad or no fad, that won’t stop me from overhauling North America’s cities to be livable for everybody! Oh, and give your kid my good regards!

[@chrisrutledge9330]

Wonderful! A video that throw ideas back and forth. Talks about pro's and cons. No axe to grind, no correct think being pushed.

[@crowmob-yo6ry]

Exactly why OTU are superior to NJB.

[@SRHMusic012]

Before cars were so prevalent, suburbs and smaller towns outside of large cities in the US were much better than today's suburbs with subdivisions. Suburban towns had the neighborhoods connected by multiple smaller streets (not 45 mph four lane roads), neighborhood schools and parks, and some smaller "corner" stores that could all be walked to bicycled to, and with sidewalks on all the streets. Plus in many places we had street cars and buses for commuting into cities. Look for neighborhoods built before about 1925.

[@GraemeMacDermid]

Children in Montreal seem to have more autonomy than those elsewhere. The safer bike lanes are part of it. But also the ruelles give a sheltered common space for kids to meet and play.

[@AnotherDuck]

Yeah, mobility is huge for creating confidence and autonomy (and a number of other benefits) for children.

[@truthnotfeelings]

I plan on raising a family, I’ve even chosen a career that allows me to be more supportive of my wife For me to achieve those goal, I need to be able to save more and affordable travel by bike is facilitating that Literally cut my travel bill in half. Of which along with my other cut backs will be saved or reinvested Long story short, affordable travel helps current struggling families and helps those family planning. But I’m certain those complaining about this will also see the declining birth rate as a problem

[@mysterioanonymous3206]

Cities have far, far lower birth rates than any other environment though... 🤷😂 In fact urbanization is the main driver of falling birth rates.

[@truthnotfeelings]

@@mysterioanonymous3206 urbanism is a driver of falling birth rates?

[@mysterioanonymous3206]

@@truthnotfeelings urbanization... Can't you read? In fact only one city on the entire planet comes to mind that would fit the bill and still be affordable... Vienna. With about 60% of residents in social housing. Yet birth rates still suck 🤷 Turns out affordability or urbanism aren't positively correlated with birth rates, at least I can't find data that would support the argument. Did you know that a big part of falling birth rates are drops in teenage pregnancies? Guess how that correlates with education? 😂 Which in turn correlates highly with urbanization rates. More Urbanism -> more urbanization -> better education -> falling birth rates.

[@Zraknul]

There's limited value cranking out children for 20 years when you're not in a family farm environment. On the farm you used to have children as an investment to increase productivity by putting them to work as they become old enough to help. Increased industrialization of the farm has resulted in the need for fewer children there as well.

[@DrivingGod21]

As an urbanist, with two pet cats, and no plants to have children, I'm personally offended. 😂

[@bophenry]

Congrats to you both! The comment about the lack of elevators on transit got me thinking. The issue of strollers on transit has a lot of crossover with Accessibility for disabled people. We should be fighting for more accessible transit! I think thats why city-living gets associated woth youth because too much of urban infrastructure is built for able-bodied adults, without consideration for children or the elderly or the disabled. More like elevators = everybody wins.

[@JovialJewels]

Thank you for acknowledging some of the real issues. I live in Waterloo on our light rail line and next to a major bike path. I used to take public transit, and in warmer months we would roller blade. However, in the last year I saw people smoking crack on the train platform, my son got really scared after being yelled at by someone high, and we witnessed someone OD on the train. We decided to buy a car this year, as much as I wish we didn't have to.

[@critiqueofthegothgf]

public parks are just terrible for children. the proper childhood experience is being driven to a big box store in an oversized SUV

[@Mittenzzs]

ahh congratulations on the new addition to your family, how sweet!

[@tasnimnt4]

This video sums up so much of my feelings as a parent. It's been over a year since our child was born, and I am very thankful that we stayed in the city. Walking 5 min to the store to get formula and diapers makes all the difference when sleep and motivation to exercise has been hard to come by. Being two blocks from a community park where we can meet with other kids and parents has really helped with the feelings of isolation. And as you mentioned, schools in the city can be just as good as ones in the suburbs (even in the US, where I live). Before having a kid, we were scared that our old place would be too small for raising a child, so we bought a bigger place (still in the city). At least at this stage in parenting, I can safely say that we would have done just fine in the old place. Save your money and make that move if and when it's right for you, not when other people say you should. Congratulations! Wishing you all the best.

[@elizabethdavis1696]

Please consider making a video on gentle density and economy’s of density

[@13ccasto]

Schools in the US are funded by property taxes, which means that schools get more money when the houses in that district are worth more (this is silly because, if anything, students from low-income homes need more funding than rich kids, not less). Urban schools are getting better but it is still common for some schools to receive half the funding per student than other schools.

[@Kenny1977-b1j]

I’m sure you will achieve your goals playing devils advocate: - a young couple (expecting a child) wanting a 2 bed apartment is (approx) still affordable in montreal, but good luck in Vancouver, Toronto. Raising a baby / toddler in a 1 bed apt…😳 - 2nd child, 3 bed apartment? Rent costs jump, and Do apartments that size even exist in inner areas? - a fenced (house…) garden is a valuable place for young kids (say to 3-6 yo) to play, explore, get dirty… (alone, with siblings, or friends..) in a semi unsupervised environment (parent occasionally looks through the kitchen window…) to learn self confidence, exploration, risk taking, independence. Young kids in an apt, needing to wait for a parent to escort them to a nearby park…not the same? - as kids get older (say 6-10yo) the freedom to roam and play on (actually ON) their street (friends, bikes, street hockey?…) is another step in their independence. Harder in an inner city street? - once they hit teenage- years, watch out! Teenagers (esp if have two of them) need their space…space to be social, space to be (moody…) antisocial, to play their music whilst the other wants to do homework, to have friends over, “their” private space …and space for their stuff (sports gear…). Tougher to provide that space in inner city? Of course kids grow up fine (Paris, New York, Inner london…) living in inner city environments - and have the added benefits (don’t really kick in until mid teen years?) of an inner city life (metro, culture, multicultural prism…) over their suburban counterparts. It’s fine, but its different…

[@bl4572]

Congratulations! We are raising our two children in a two-bedroom condo in centretown Ottawa. Zero regrets in terms of us all being able to walk or bike to school, daycare, work, groceries, playgrounds, swimming pool, skating, etc. Both children started using public transit on their own in their early teens and are much more mature and independent as a result. The limited living and storage space is annoying from time to time, but there are also benefits: no need for a baby monitor, plus our children talk to each other despite the age gap because they share a room. Best of luck with your new adventure!

[@TheRealE.B.]

Most of the downsides of raising children in cities can be attributed to cars. Pollution. Noise. Chance of getting casually murdered by a Doordash driver. Scarce green space (though buildings at least SHARE the blame on this one). With that being said, I grew up being told to go play out in the woods, and I don't really want to raise my kids that way. I should probably take them to the park tomorrow, though.

[@AnotherDuck]

Green space in the suburbs is rather sparse as well. Almost all of the land is taken up by either streets or other people's yards. You have your own lawn, but that's about it, unless you want to go for a car ride.

[@orospakr]

I've heard of using babywearing as a stroller alternative, particularly in places like Montreal where the Metro is lacking accessibility provisions like elevators.

[@DiamondKingStudios]

I never really saw that many mothers just carrying their children on slings or backpacks except at my local church, where it would be fairly common since you usually can’t just wheel a stroller in. My sister had a classmate who was the oldest of four sisters, but when their mother later had a son she mostly just carried him around on a sling.

[@jeanbolduc5818]

There are elevators in all major stations and all stations have escalators . The new subway REM has all elevators in the stations .

[@aryaw5198]

This video made me realise how the idea of suburbs in N. America is almost entirely of large plots of low density, landed housing and few other developments only accessible by cars. I live in Melbourne’s east and western suburbs for the past 20 years, both being 20 km+ away from the CBD. Almost all suburbs here are connected by train and around each train stations are high streets that are very walkable. They still seem to thrive regardless of car-centric urban development and it is often where you’ll find essentials like supermarkets or post offices in the local area. On top of that we also have inner suburbs like Fitzroy or Brunswick which is quite a balance between landed house living and inner city density with narrower streets, a tram connection and strips of shophouses.

[@zacg_]

I think the main reason people move to suburbs is the desire for a single family home with a yard. I think that desire becomes more intense with kids. That said, I think something cities could do to help attract families is have family transit passes. While having a car is more expensive over time, when people are making decisions on whether to go somewhere they are more likely to prefer a transport system that at least feels like this specific trip is already paid for. Cities with bus passes make this easier. But in general cars win here despite costing significantly more (let alone the other externalities.) If your car has gas in it already then it feels like loading kids into the car and driving somewhere is already covered so it does feel like driving this one time costs any extra. So if most cities just had individual, couple and family transit passes so that everyone feels like this next trip is "free" then they'll be more eager to live in cities and enjoy public transit. But if the tickets are $4 per person there and back and you have a family of 4 you're just going to feel like traveling in the city is always expensive and be resentful of the system, even if it actually costs less than owning a car. And of course, you've got to build a robust enough system that it feels worthwhile to actually get rid of the car.

[@leblancti420]

Excellent coverage of the theme! Also, congratulations! :)

[@NoirMorter]

Before I watch fully, the USA has laws in many states that make it child abuse (arrest-able on sight) when a parent lets a child out of sight for any length of time. It is annoying so any urbanism as a parent is welcome but fruitless for kids until those laws are abolished.

[@carpediem44]

Such laws have been mentioned repeatedly in these discussions, but states and jurisdictions are never named. Cite them.

[@NoirMorter]

@ Huston Texas, Omaha, Nebraska. California in LA county (not enforced usually) to name a few. Most southern states have a “right to Roam” if that isn’t listed then there is a threat that a neighbors complaint can send the police nocking. By the by, I want right to Roam since I want my children to be able to explore without me or their mom.

[@DiamondKingStudios]

@@NoirMorterExactly. I feel like most of those laws either came from some crime paranoia or the general millennial/Gen X backlash against low-supervision parenting of their own parents. If I’m going to raise a family somewhere, I want to be able to give my child $20 and trust he will be able to walk/cycle/take a streetcar downtown and meet up with his friends for pizza and get back home just fine. I would want him to be fine with taking an old camcorder/8mm camera and making his own home movies from random footage taken exploring local parks. They need to be able to do some things on their own, or else it will be rather difficult for them after high school.

[@NoirMorter]

@ I agree I went on my bike to Publix with a friend and back. It was 15 miles. That was when we were 13 and across a giant Stroad.

[@jacobpowell1882]

Riverside county CA had CPS called on us for allowing our kids to play in the front yard while the wife and I were inside the front room able to keep an eye on Jen through the windows. Case was dismissed but what a hellish few weeks it was waiting for the hammer to drop.

[@Taladar2003]

Criminals who will do something to children in front of a crowd are extremely rare, criminals who will do the same thing to a child in the middle of the rural countryside are much more common so I don't think children are actually in more danger in the city. Of course both types of crime are much more rare than in the past anyway.

[@crnelious]

oh my god. illinois resident here. the suburban schools in illinois fucking suck. THEY SUCK. yea they’re better compared to CPS (in rough areas). but when politicians talk about cps they’re talking about CPS schools in ROUGH areas. they don’t talk about the CPS schools in affluent areas. majority of the suburban schools in illinois go through HUGE budget cuts, but parents say, “well it’s better schools out here.” how? when majority of schools in chicago out perform a lot of schools in suburban illinois!

[@HarryLovesRuth]

Our school system is fundamentally hostile to the families that use the greenway to get to school. School maintenance personnel block the path. Last year while cycling to school with my daughter, and I was threatened with a citation for "impeding the flow of traffic" by a security officer. Right now they are building a ten foot high security fence that will block one of the unofficial footpaths to the campus. We have fought hard. Please don't anyone give me advice about what I should be doing. I am well connected in both the school system and local government. It's been an exhausting couple of years and all I have been able to do is hold the line. (And the security officer wasn't fired in spite of all the threats he made against me and other parents. He doesn't answer to the principal and his superiors have the exact same attitude.)

[@seaotter42]

In my anecdotal experience regarding US schools... Schools in the suburbs are more consistently good, while urban areas tend to have a lot of variation both up and down. In my suburb every school in the district is very good. My sister lives in the urban core and her kids "neighborhood schools" (i.e. where they would attend by default based on their address) are not very good... but their school distract has some magnet schools that are excellent, arguably better than the best schools in my kids district. The difference is that everyone in my suburban city gets to attend a very good school... while in her district the kids whose parents shepherd their kids through the application process (yes, you have to apply and meet test criteria, etc...) get to attend *excellent* schools, while most kids attend mediocre schools because they either can't get in to better ones, or their parents don't have the means to transport them across town every day. Congrats on the pregnancy! While I, personally, loved raising kids int he 'burbs, I'm sure your family will do great in the city.

[@BlueBD]

same experience for me. While I was in school, I lived in the poor areas of Brooklyn. My schools were terrible. First year in HS spent is garbage, I managed to get a transfer to a new school near NYU and the experience was significantly better. and just better funded overall, with access to Way more "Non standard" classes i would have never gotten at a local. had to take the subway in the morning as the only driver of my family left for work at 4am But I would get driven home by WALKING to his job in the city. The city was Not great but far better 16 years ago

[@JBthePAdashC]

I became an urbanist when I had a 5-y/o and a 1-y/o. It’s because of them I am so adamant about it. My city is way behind in safety measures and infrastructure for them and I hate it. We bike a lot, but it is definitely a risk. I want to live somewhere they can get around without being strapped into a giant metal box for every trip.

[@andorfan270]

My city is trying to become more urban and walkable, but the only housing they're creating is reusing old buildings to create apartments that are studio, 1 or 2 bedroom places that are meant for young adults. There's no attempt to bring families downtown and the only 3 bedroom apartments are all really expensive and lived in by older people. It's frustrating because I can tell that if they got families living downtown it would do a lot to activate the space and bring the kind of density they say they want.

[@SuperMarkt-l8q]

I live in an urban walkable neighbourhood where you see kids everywhere. It makes everyone expect children at any given time, especially when you're driving. In the suburbs, children are invisible behind fences, in backyards and inside cars so nobody minds them. The majority of accidents involving children in my city happen in the suburbs, because drivers exclusively feel them to be their turf and then run over cycling kids when making a turn.

[@sjasonwang7384]

Oh man, congrats you two!! You are about to start the incredible life changing journey of parenthood! Montreal's Metro system really is a pain in the butt with strollers so I wish you luck with that! I think we almost died once at Bonaventure trying to get a stroller out of the station. Consider an e-cargo bike for kids! We recently bought an Urban Arrow and it has changed the way our family gets around town. We basically stopped driving short distances entirely and use the Urban Arrow exclusively for almost everything. One often underappreciated issue -- unwalkable suburban environments are awful for children's mental and physical health. They don't get to engage in the spontaneous free play that is so important for their development. They don't get to explore their world independently as they grow older. Exercise isn't built into their day so the risk of obesity is much higher, and loneliness/isolation can drive teenagers more and more online. And of course, car monoculture is extremely dangerous. I experienced this myself. I grew up in very walkable neighborhoods of St. Louis Missouri and never even knew what it was like to not be able to walk or bike places. But in high school my parents moved us to "the suburb with the best schools" and I suddenly lost all of my freedom at age 14. It was extremely lonely and depressing. My grades dropped. Drugs and alcohol were rampant because kids were bored, and I experimented with those as well. I couldn't cope with the new environment, although I didn't have the vocabulary as a 14 year old to explain what had happened to me. I also remember that in driver's ed class, our teacher said we were "overdue" for a fatality because generally every 1-2 years someone would die in a car crash. Our classes were about 200 students each, so you have to figure there is a 1/200 to 1/400 chance that you don't make it out of high school due to a car crash. A year or two after that, true enough, someone was killed. Those experiences are what turned me into an urbanist and someone who advocates for sustainable housing and transportation.

[@trainglen22]

Seen drug use in the Montreal metro. Doesn't help when the transit commission has cut several jobs.

[@Weslleeyify]

Congrats on the child!

[@Myraisins1]

Sometimes it all comes down to finances. We want a bit more space for children in the city but we can't afford it.

[@truedarklander]

This is genuinely one of the main reasons people go to suburbs to raise families. But that's also due to well, how much of city cores are too commercial/office focused and there is too little (missing) middle density/mixed used housing. Ironically, looking outside of the US, suburbs can be denser than the city proper (looking at Saint Denis for Paris, and Amadora for Lisbon, as a couple of examples)

[@gulli72]

But how are children supposed to grow up to become healthy, self-reliant adults, if their entire life isn't structured around their parents' availability to move them around between cell bloc-- eh, I mean zones?

[@3of11]

Funny it wasn’t until I HAD kids that I began to be interested in and advocate for urbanism, density/multi use, walkable/bikeable cities, and slower cars. Nothing like making you realize the suburbs trap anyone under 16, the poor, and some of the elderly who probably shouldn’t be on the road, plus anyone with vision / reflex / Dexterity problems.

[@blueheartbells]

Congratulations ❤❤

[@grahamturner2640]

I mean, one of the most famous creators in the space got into it after having kids.

[@jonathanstensberg]

And he’s pretty much the only one who ever even mentions the existence of children…

[@crowmob-yo6ry]

NJB sucks. He's too angry and hateful. We need optimism.

[@ElviraSchmitz]

​@@crowmob-yo6ry I strongly disagree. I've been interested in urbanism before NJB even came into the picture. With his channel he reaches millions. He especially manages to spark interest for the topic in people who have never even thought about it before. He makes people see the problems. That changes the public opinion which will ultimately lead to real change. I can't think of another person who achieved more in less time in terms of public education on the topic of urbanism. And I think his success is also due to his tone. All the information he spreads has been availble for a long time but only a few cared. And I think he is right: American cities can change, of course, but if you want to enjoy first-rate urbanism in your city within your life-time, you probably have to move. I live in Germany which is light-years ahead compared to North America but even here progress is glacial and I may not see the day that Germany catches up with the Netherlands. That's not pessimism, that's the truth.

[@hylje]

@@crowmob-yo6rywhen do the optimists make affordable, high density cities possible?

[@mindstalk]

@@crowmob-yo6ry NJB is great and informative. His anger is justified.

[@AnotherDuck]

When I was about 14 I switched to a school that was more than a three-minute walk away, and from that point on, I started cycling or taking transit everywhere in southern/central Stockholm (not that I couldn't before, but all I needed and friends were close by). Now, I can't imagine having grown up in an environment where that wasn't possible.

[@wakaflocka37]

Congrats! Love your channel, and I'm excited to see how the first person experience in urban living with kids changes the content. I just had my second, so I'll be on foot more than on bike in the near future

[@darkwoodmovies]

I'll be honest, as a childless "cat lady" I never really considered how the cities I love would be for raising families. But then again, I personally grew up in one of the largest and densest cities in North America, like literally right in the middle of the inner city. And despite back then crime being much higher than it is now, I did just fine taking the city bus to school and even taking the metro by myself once I was in my teens. You're just built different when you're raised in a big city, all the problems that other people are afraid of are no bother to you, and all the precautions people should take to be safe are just second nature. I'm honestly more scared of the suburbs because it's statistically more dangerous to die by a car there than to die to crime in a city.

[@christopherpratt4743]

Congratulations on the new arrival! I live in a reasonably walkable, bike, friendly, and transit connected suburb now, but I raised my first born for his first three years in Pittsburgh (0-9 months) and Chicago (9 months-3 years). Kids love buses and trains so I always felt it was easy to get places without a car. A piece of advice: Look into what your city’s strollers-on-buses policy is. At the time when living in Pittsburgh, they would not allow strollers to be open on the bus under any circumstances. If I brought my infant on a bus, I would have to fold up the stroller and take him out, even if the bus was empty. It made taking the bus a huge hassle! In contrast, Chicago let me just roll the stroller on and park it in the accessible section (assuming there was room and nobody with impaired mobility needed the space). This is night and day and will impact your transit choices. And you’ll also get used to which metro lines/stations to use. Chicago has many stations that aren’t accessible (looking at you, Clybourn red line).

[@JJR93]

So the whole urban schools: bad, suburban school: good in the USA is deeply deeply racially coded and a lingering effect of racial segregation and ongoing resistance to integration....a legacy Canada simply doesn't have; not that Canada is without its own problems of course, but it isn't reflected in the school system there because their history is very different.

[@SNeaker328]

So lovely to hear about your growing family. Best wishes for a healthy birth for you and baby.

[@user-yi7zj3lv5t]

I don’t want my children growing up in a soulless suburb. I don’t want them growing up relying on a car. I don’t want them to be sheltered inside without independence and freedom to enjoy outside.

[@thomasmcroy1756]

Cities conserve resources and people who live in them maintain a smaller carbon footprint. Urban places are expensive but that's simply because demand to be there is high.

[@mysterioanonymous3206]

🤷 Cities have far lower birthrates though. Without suburban/rural areas the birth rates would be far lower.

[@NelsonBrown]

3:47 - when my kids were little, instead of strollers I used baby slings, front baby carriers, or backpack carriers when going around on transit, traveling, or hiking. I recommend.

[@dannymongrain4788]

congrats for the kid on the way! We are a family of four and have always lived in Montreal dense walkable neighborhoods (Mile-end, Villeray, Rosemont). We can get nearly everything within 15 minutes of walk. We do have a car mostly for out-of-town weekends, long distance trips and occasional shopping in big box. But 95% of our transportation is transit/bike/walk. Our kids-now-teens are autonomous and can get to school, library, parcs, friends, shops, etc. on their own.

[@aquaticko]

Congratulations!

[@binarytier]

I'm always left with a lot to think about from your videos, especially how issues are usually more gray-scale rather black and white. Congratulations on your little one to be! It's an amazing journey becoming parents.

[@definitelynotacrab7651]

Congrats on the coming addition to your family! And yeah, the association of suburbs with good for kids always perplexed me. Why is being trapped in your own home begging for transportation from your parents a good thing?

[@krob9145]

Congratulations, one of my nephews was raised in the city with his school run being done via bicycle. His mother started out using a pushchair and walking a lot when he was very young then ditched that to putting him on her bike with a child seat fitted to the bike top bar. He was much calmer for that travel method getting a ride and hug at the same time. I see more parents these days also doing school commutes by long tail cargo bikes with two children happily chatting at the back or one parent with a child on childseat fitted to a regular bike. You'll figure out what works best for you.

[@user-bc7cb8uu7e]

Worth noting that the school ratings are largely a reflection of the socioeconomic status of the students and how much time the average student's parents have to spend helping them, rather than a reflection of the quality of education. Being is a poorer neighborhood may lead to fewer resources (especially for extracurriculars), though, so they aren't entirely useless.

[@johnlabus7359]

The way school districts play out definitely varies from place to place in the USA. I know for a fact that both Raleigh(Wake Co.), NC and MIamiDade, FL schools are countywide systems. I also know that Wake County purposefully puts some of its best schools near the city center on purpose to address inequality. In other places school districts may be very tiny and be associated with a small town or village, and those with the most money end up having the best schools out in the burbs.

[@luckiest_lobster]

When I was first moving to Montreal and talking with one of my future colleagues about nice neighborhoods to look into, a native Quebecers mentioned to me that they lived in Laval because it was a better place to raise kids than any of the more central neighborhoods close to where we worked, citing safety and better schools as as the reasoning. I don't know how common this sort of thinking is, but I imagine it's not as uncommon among canadians as this video suggests, at least among people who didn't grow up in cities

[@vf1923]

Yeah, my parents explicitly picked the Ottawa suburb I grew up in because of the schools.

[@OhTheUrbanity]

I'm not saying no one has ever moved to the suburbs for schools in Canada, but I think I'm on solid ground in saying that the idea of urban schools being bad and suburban schools being good is far less prevalent in Canada than the US, owing to our more centralized school funding system and the fact that we didn't experience urban decline and white flight in the same way as the US.

[@vf1923]

@@OhTheUrbanity I agree... kinda. I've worked as a teacher in a few different places. Often, urban schools pull from a wider range of socio-economic backgrounds. This does mean that they may include children with some challenges emerging from poverty. Not only that, some wealthy downtown parents will send their children to private schools, scraping off a layer of privilege. But often they are no "worse" in terms of education, and they may be better. The idea that they are universally worse in Canada or the UK, i.e. places which funds schools more equitably I think is kind of an older idea stemming from the period where "downtown" meant schools drawing from the poor people who lived downtown. Now downtowns are often *wealthier* or at least mixed, the dial has swung, and your downtown school may be full of highly privileged kids.

[@Frahamen]

That's also kinda the opposite critic I hear here in Belgium. We are called "bakfietsmama's" we're supposed to be people who are well off enough to work in a trendy neighborhood while the working class lives in suburbs and in "verkavelingen" at the "steenweg" (suburbs near a stroad)