IS YOUR FILIPINA JUST USING YOU? A Look At The 'Other Side'

#isshejustusingyou ‪@TheFilipinaPea‬
Is your Filipina just using you for as much as she can get, in order to help her family - all because you're a foreigner? You may often feel that foreigners are being singled out, but what happens when a Filipina marries a Filipino? Is the same pressure put on him, too? Well here's the other side of the coin - a rare look at how local marriages work! Is your Filipina just using you, or does the same thing happen to a Filipino man?
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[@TheFilipinaPea]

👉My videos and the effort I put into them are 100% free for everyone to enjoy, and all I ask is that you leave a thumbs-up on any videos that you like and subscribe to my channel - I have never, and will never, ask you for anything else. For those of you that still wish to support my channel further, however, I’ve posted my links below. Thanks! 👉 Support through PayPal: www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=GC9T7PMLZ3BDW&source=url 👉 Patreon: www.patreon.com/thefilipinapea Join this channel to get access to perks: kzbin.info/door/rm4tEQqTrUP3MwB2G1mjHwjoin 👍🎬SUBCRIBE TO: kzbin.info Follow me on Instagram: 📸📸the_filipinapea 📸📸filipinapea TikTok Account: 🎶ThefilipinaPea

[@Chris_Clark1MaidenFan]

So I guess that’s why you see a lot of Filipina’s that are single mothers. That’s one thing I can’t understand no matter where it is because it happens here also. I can understand not wanting to take care of the in-laws but to abandon your child, hell naw. Be a man because it’s not an immaculate conception. You got her pregnant you support your kid/kids. Have a safe trip Pea, you answered a couple questions for me here.

[@geecheelionmusic]

I got to remember to set my alarm. One day I am going to be the First. As always, another day another chance to express my Love for You...Valentine's Day coming up...Think about it..💗🎵

[@geecheelionmusic]

Sweet Pea, I have no problem marrying you as an Eldest child. I am the Eldest myself.

[@geecheelionmusic]

I know very well the Hell of staying in a loveless marriage. Been "free" of it for exactly five years.

[@vince1012]

Filipina Pea, in the West there is a pervasive ideology that wealthy ppl are inherently evil, selfish, not deserving of their wealth, and take advantage of employees & government loophole. Are there many ppl in the Philippines who share this ideology?

[@josephbscott8350]

When I married my Filipina wife back in 1988, I had already agreed that we would help her family. My family certainly didn't need any. I am happy to have helped her family over the years! I take pride that we have paid the way for several of our nieces and nephews to attend college, and graduate! Now they also help. I never looked at it as an obligation. I have been blessed, and being able to share is a blessing.

[@golfgunsandcocktailschannel]

God Bless you and your wife. 👍

[@ldman906]

Bro lman me and you are the same on this I will do anything to help her family because they're wonderful people and I'm wonderful My Filipino wife is pass situation i met her in. 2011 got married in 2018 And I wouldn't take a moment back

[@BruceCinader]

I think it is fine to help someone if you can and want to, and feel like it is appreciated, but nobody should feel like somebody else owes them something just because they have more. I see many plead poverty but the week before they had a big party, and roasted a pig and drank all night. I see many Filipinos that spend money as fast as they get it and never save for "The Emergency" that always comes up. My only resentment is that helping sometimes seems like enabling bad habits and allowing their bad choices to continue, while they count on you to bail them out for the stupid things that they continue to do.

[@rayklein1125]

It's a South East Asia thing Bruce. Don't worry about tomorrow, let's spend what we have today.

[@vince1012]

it's the same mentality that have many lottery winners (pro athletes, entertainers, etc) lose it all and more after their windfall. Charity has to be done prudently

[@briankendall65]

#ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY

[@ronfindley2874]

Sounds like my "father-son" relationship with my son... Financially disappointing.

[@chlupl]

Look at the West.. we have people without financial responsibility and experience that win enough in the lottery to retire even at a young age. Do they suddenly know how to save the extra, plan for dividing the money over time, and live happily ever after? If you're existence is paycheck to paycheck, and emergency to emergency, you don't have extra to ever deal with. You don't learn to handle money wisely, but rather how to spend the money when you get it. Wealthy families in the West often have have a similar concept of family estates like in the East, where status is protected and parents want their children to carry on their estate with competent partners and know responsibility. If you could look at only the highest class in the Philippines, you might find the same system in effect, but not nearly the struggle with handling money. The system in place is often seen as unfair and annoying to westerners, yet we want traditional relationships. The reality is, this is traditional in the East and West. In the West, there has been a longer history of moving away from it. Western governments, though, prefer divided communities and families, so individuals are more likely to see the government as their safety net when things get tough. Perhaps it is best to go into the Philippines and find your spouse... And your larger family. Vet both. Know that you may be somewhat of a new breadwinner in the family, but are they mostly trying? Are they drinking daily and sitting around or working but barely getting by? Do they have hopes or are they hopeless? If they had some guidance and encouragement, would they try harder or squander it? For those looking to just retire and sail into the sunset, you may not care, but those looking to rebuild or transition their life.. start fresh.. maybe it's a mindset thing where East and West can come together to find traditional values as well as work ethic and financial responsibility??? Also, on the party with a pig. Was it a special occasion? It isn't common for there to be cultural events such as a wedding, new baby, festival where it is culturally important to sacrifice to make the celebration all it can be. Not saying it's good or bad, but poor people in the West sometimes have 5 digit weddings and live in a 5 digit house or even rent. Try to gage if the excess is a daily bad habit or of cultural significance. It matters some.

[@BLJTheGeneral]

There is a difference between helping and being used. If your Filipina wife or girlfriend is reciprocating her time, effort, support, and being a great helpmate I don't see a problem with helping her out. Now if it's a one way street where you are helping and she's not doing anything in return that's a no-go. Another great video Pea, keep up the great work.

[@sugarnads]

Thats not using thats reciprocity

[@josvel2344]

​@El-Kwako The Grumpy Duck if it's only one way and constantly asked.. yes that's being used.

[@rl8571]

As a Filipino male i agree with everything you said but just want to add my perspective when supporting my wife's family. I have a good and loving wife so i must love the people that have built those values into her which she has now passed to our children. This is why i have no hesitation in helping her family and the same with her when it comes to my family. More success to you Ms Pea!

[@5keeno]

Well said.

[@jamesrecknor6752]

My fiancé is the daughter of a hard working man, a widower who is very poor in Mindanao province. He earns by fishing and motor trike, and is a pastor of a small house church. I enjoy helping him from my business in USA. In the past I made the mistake of supporting people who were able to work but made no effort. For her family, it is joyful to help.

[@harveypolanski755]

The problem is it’s a one way street. They expect you to help them because you’re “rich”. But they never help you because they’re poor. If you want my help you have to earn it. You didn’t help me when I was a kid, and you don’t have anything to offer me now. They should be happy that I’m providing a privileged life for their daughter and grandchildren. I’m offering their progeny a quality of live beyond their wildest dreams. Yet its never enough.

[@yveslefere6895]

Hello Pea, I understand why there are so many single Filipinas...

[@James.984haid]

Sounds like some has been brainwashed.

[@grandpapeteswordsofwisdom7114]

Way to go Pea. You sure picked the scab off of this one. Now some foreigners will start to realize what a challenge a beautiful, sexy Filipina can be. Action speaks louder than words and beauty so be careful guys. It is hard to not feel sorry for the Filipina and her family but you have to think of yourself first. It is like the old saying in business, ALWAYS PAY YOURSELF FIRST.

[@mahad813]

The problem is the family of hers feel entitled to a foreigner's money, thinking money grows on trees. That's the downside of getting gitty with a Filipina

[@sdavis-59]

Hi Seet Pea, Very well covered topic, no need for me to comment, you covered it well. Salamat Safe travels, enjoy! 😊😎

[@masaakishimizu9091]

My comment was cut in the middle of writing it so I have to add a little more. I described how impressed I am every time I listen to your channel, Please keep up with your good work!

[@glstka5710]

Well, again on the financial topic I find myself saying "You just need to adapt to Filipino culture." As an American married to a Filipina I just understand that family here is EXTENDED family not NUCLEAR family. So I often give money to help mommy-in-law at the old house. There are times my wife's brothers come over and fix things here. For me it's a matter of loving my whole family and not counting the cost. If I can't afford something at a particular time because my payment from overseas is still a few days away things will have to wait until it comes in. I live well so I don't count the cost. I even splurged a bit to take mommy-in-law, my wife and myself to the Morissette Amon concert at Waterfront Hotel two days before mom-in-laws birthday. Don't count the cost. Use stuff and love people. Don't love stuff and use people. Don't expect it to be just like the USA, I moved here for the difference. Philippines is HOME for me now.

[@keinlieb3818]

For the most part, I agree, but, at the same time, I will not be used as an endless piggy bank. If I see someone go out one night and buy an expensive phone and then come to me a couple days later and says "I can't afford my electric bill" I'll tell them straight up "should have paid your electric bill. Sell me your new cellphone and use your old one and you'll have money for your power bill".

[@jamesrecknor6752]

Let's help as we can, but not enable bad behaviors, especially laziness. The elderly and disabled who are unable to work, and the children we can help the most.

[@ruelfunelas9389]

Miss Pea you are right on as always! My mother is a Filipina and dad an American, he passed on and God bless his soul….and yes I agree on everything you have said! Filipinas are like beautiful roses with plenty of thorns….handle with ease and wisdom….and guys, pay attention to Miss Pea, she tells it like it is!!

[@wookie4798]

Share your blessings is the phrase that drives me nuts. It's the extended family that starts the drama in my world. Aunt's and uncles think I should support them too, and put their lazy kids through college.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

I would REFUSE to help. I don’t help lazy people 😡

[@philippinesOneLove]

Hi Tom My one and only Commandment is, SHARE your blessings BUT only to those who need and appreciate it ,, You say Sons are Lazy , Then put your Foot down , Don't give .. In-laws , if they Rock your Boat Outlaw them.. good luck my friend .

[@williambarrios7443]

I've heard you talk about status in the Philippines before, but your video this time really sheds more light on it. I hope things do change. Like you said, it will probably take quite a bit of time. Have a safe trip!

[@keinlieb3818]

Yes. My mother and father in law are awesome. Never ask for help. However, my wife has been asked to be a godmother by pretty much everyone now and godparents are expected to shower God children with gifts on birthdays and Christmas. I told my wife that it ends now. They talk bad about us behind our backs but then expect money and gifts come Christmas and birthdays. Absolutely not. They already treat me like crap. I have one aunt that constantly posters me to go see her at her house and asks me for loans. So happy my immediate inlaw family isn't like that.

[@ericrollings]

In another video support was mentioned and a guy explained he gives his wife approximately $200 per week. If the family “needs” help, his wife helps with the decision and anything the family receives comes from that weekly allowance so to speak. Personally I feel that’s a good approach. The numbers can change according to each person’s finances, but it takes pressure off of the man.

[@StevenMEddy]

I just want to say that your postings are fun, informative, useful and not sleazy. You have good topics and a great personality. Your KZbin channel is one of my favorites. Thx.

[@erictwombly5902]

Once again, critical education on Filipino culture and traditions ❤️ this is why I've followed and recommended you for others. To me, whenever their is a disruption between westerners and people from different countries, it is all tied to the Westerner's lack of understanding culture and traditions. One I observed with a coworker and his new Filipina wife..."HI honey, what's for dinner? What? Someone of your family is here? OK, yes, let's have them over, of course! We're having what? Fried chicken feet and stir fry rice? I...I... okay, it's for them, and me too, huh?"

[@carlosjose5503]

What? This doesn't make much sense

[@raygalles2517]

I agree with you. Culture and traditions are key factors.

[@tilapiadave3234]

How pathetic to blame the "westerners" .... Racism?

[@sailairwingnut]

That's what happens! I think we ask for it or are just accepting of it!

[@sailairwingnut]

Personally, I am both... accepting it anyway it comes. That's just me, easy to get along with.

[@harveybroughton3009]

What I did for my mother in-law was to build her a shop and stock it for the first time for her now she can make her own money.This helped her a lot my asawa and I still help if needed but most of the time my mother in-law can make enough to even save some money as well.I do give the grandparents some cash each week for their needs I give about 500 pesos to each one.I really don’t mind to give because they are so thankful it makes me feel good.I work full time in Australia and make good money each week.And I save to come back home to the Philippines twice s year.But this year I will be moving over to the Philippines full time.I can’t wait I love the Philippines and the people there as well.And I love to watch your videos Pea you are great to watch.😊😊😊

[@davidgrason161]

To my way of thinking, this is one of the best videos EVER! There is more insight than any ten other vids. Thanks Pea for telling like it is.

[@Nordic_Sky]

I've seen a bunch of Pea's videos and I remain in awe of her intelligence and ability to put out quality content, video after video. Plus, she spends so much time responding to comments. She must be one of the hardest working content creators on KZbin. Respect!

[@TheFilipinaPea]

‘One’ of the hardest? ONE of the hardest? 🤣🤣🤣

[@Nordic_Sky]

@@TheFilipinaPea OK, OK. THE hardest! :)

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks better 😳 🤣🤣🤣

[@setoredan]

Safe travels, Ms Pea. Thanks for explaining about the caste system and what happens in Filipino marriages. Very enlightening.

[@normalpsychology]

The Filipina Pea has made such an amazing channel with such amazing content. She's logical, beautiful, fun, and rare. Just commenting to support the channel. Thank you, Pea, for being amazing. You deserve so much happiness.

[@bobmartin7717]

Have a good trip Miss Pea. Always a pleasure to listen to you

[@stub4958]

I love how you get into subjects. You not only tell people how things are done, but why and with some background information. I would not expect your culture to change anytime soon, even with economic progression. India has progress a long way and is still using their old systems, as well as others. Customs and traditions are hard to change.

[@tomhansen3012]

You do such an wonderful job of telling it like it is and in a very entertaining way as well! Can’t imagine anyone not finding what you offer as beneficial and in an honest assessment. There are some parallels with our past cultural norms here in the USA. Continue on as you are and you’re definitely on the A list of KZbinrs. You amaze me with content and in such a refreshingly honest way! Continued success!👍😊

[@barnabyzelman]

Another terrific video Pea, and nice to see you closing in on 200k subscribers!

[@DDK997]

Based on Filipinas I have connected through dating sites, I can say expectation of support starts after 3 to 4 days of chatting. After that, hi, hello etc will be replaced with hearing of endless list of problems. Some will play reverse psychology hoping you will be a white knight and start supporting. If the support does not come the chatting starts to disappear. Some will ask for help straight away.

[@acttemp6170]

@5:45 This is the point I must share that the Philippines culture is attractive to me. Here in the USA most of us have lost our connection to the family structure. That being said, it is where crime, poverty, and single-parent household begins. It is where everything negative regarding society is generated. I digress. (TBC)

[@semperfi-1918]

Well we know my situation. And no worries on my part. But we need to realize that culture is 90% of it. Learning the difference in expectations as well as traditions. Another great video.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Yes, it’s a cultural tradition here, as in most of Asia and beyond 👍

[@shotelco]

@@TheFilipinaPea A much similar culture in Africa, the Middle East (East Asia), and in Latin America. Key phrase - and ProTip: *_Family Status_* Example: In dealing with an Ethiopian Habesha woman's family - who claimed they would refuse any marriage of their daughter to any and ALL non-Habesha men ... _Suddenly_ changed their tune when the daughter's sweetheart turned out to be a professional fútbol player for a club in Laliga.

[@malcolmsmith9017]

I thank you for covering this You've uncovered my eyes about a lot.

[@garycampbell6245]

Thank you for providing such great insight into the nuances of the cultural norms in the Philippines ma'am. In my own experience after dating filipinas and by observing with my keen people watchers eye is just how prevalent these societal traditions are yet rarely spoken about.I noticed some of the cast system in action as you described. What you are helping us with is seeing deeper into the constraints that exist in a society where family and church make the rules. For any foreigner wishing to dip their toes into a relationship with a filipina there should be a suitability test at the border first 😊. Question No1 should be ..... 'Can you provide evidence that you have watched and absorbed the entire back catalogue of the Filipina Pea on KZbin? '. The question should then provide the following options. If the answer to question No1 is Yes then please skip to the declaration, enjoy your stay, be careful , respectful and have nice time. If the answer to question No1 is No then please consider the advice provided by the eminent vlogger before entering into even a casual relationship as all might not be what it appears to be. Enjoy your holiday, take precautions and if you are planning a return visit then please follow the advice provided by Pea before committing to a future trip or LDR. If I had been offered that landing declaration a decade ago then I would have saved myself so much heart ache and financial misery. Keep up the great work miss Pea you are universally appreciated.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Hahahahaha That’s a VERY important test, yes 🤣🤣

[@garycampbell6245]

@@TheFilipinaPea I propose changing the paper landing card system to include this new test for single male travellers 😁. Sponsored by the tourist board and immigration service with a small percentage of the fee going to the Filipina Pea. You are already single handedly populating the Visayas to the nations benefit for free. Time to get a piece of the action 😅

[@secretagent86]

totally agree

[@rogandbingofbingalahtravel3680]

When poverty is a way of life everything from a toothbrush to a car carries a more valuable specialty to the Filipino. When I help pay for an eye surgery, for example, the gratefulness is sincere and lifelong! There are pros and cons to marrying into a Filipino family but if you incorporate yourself into that family as a contributing member of the clan your old age will not be a lonely life alone stuck inside a retirement center or nursing home.

[@kevicanweld]

Great advice 👍

[@jamesrecknor6752]

True

[@maplesyrupphilosopher6886]

This should absolutely be considered required viewing for anyone interested in an international relationship. Most western guys have no idea the fierce independence that we strive for (and take for granted as commonplace) is very much a phenomenon of our culture. And that this “take care of the family” mentality is widely practiced around the world. It puts immense pressure on the Filipina (or whoever has the traditional family) to keep her family happy and in a sense “protect” her foreigner from them. It’s a shock to many westerners to see just how profound the influence the family can have on the relationship. That doesn’t mean every family is going to be a problem but this is absolutely a buyer beware warning that foreigners need to hear. A+ stuff, Pea. Definitely telling it like it is.

[@tastymustard6234]

In the West the older generation is much wealthier than todays younger generation which changes the family dynamic alot.

[@Tmidiman]

Once again, great information that no one else covers. Thanks Pea!

[@mathewhunt81]

Hey Pea! Thanks again! You are priceless !! 💋

[@randyguidry4958]

Pea, you are correct that the western way of choosing a mate is the exception, globally! I have spent a lot of time in Central and South America and the process of choosing a mate in those countries is very much like that of the Philippines and Asia as a whole. There is also a similar "eldest daughter" expectation of taking care of the family. That is something my Colombian gf struggles with. It can be very unfair.

[@dragongrazer7620]

Comming from a country that put helping those in need as a high priority. I can see why helping your family is a common practice in the filipines. We had similar practices back when we were one of Europe's poorest countries. Today we have a more collective approach where everyone help contributing for it. But we still have deep rooted generosity for helping others when they really need help. But nothing pisses us off more than abusing that generosity. So helping our partners family would be a pretty natural thing to do...within reason Offcource 😉

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Where are you from, DG? 😊

[@kingpet]

abusing generosity is scummy.

[@dragongrazer7620]

@@TheFilipinaPea l am from Sweden. 🤗🇸🇪

[@carlredmond3642]

Great video...such a polished presentation !!

[@fredcarr3550]

Hi Pea. Thanks for another great presentation on a perhaps thorny subject. Have a great and safe trip.

[@freakyaussy]

Tonight like every night and day the last week I have spent in the hospital comforting my dying friend and his Filipino wife who I call my sister . I am amazed with the support and the number of Filipino woman here in Australia coming there each day and night to support not just my dying friend and his wife but offer support and comfort to me during this awful situation . Such a beautiful people . There is always the match making because I am single now but I no complain .

[@Ian-iu2tl]

Good one Pea. I did my homework before I decided to date a Filipina. I heard the good and the bad. I chose a Filipina who is not overly committed to her family and, therefore, she is not obliged to support them. I do, however, provide a little, at my discretion.

[@carlschleicher5516]

Always great content, thanks. 😃

[@oncall21]

I needed to watch this video today Pea. Many thanks for sharing!

[@daveferry213]

Hello Pea I actually just arrived in the Philippines a couple of days ago to meet my Filipino Roxas to be precise. I don't mind helping her or her family at all because she and her family are so loving and caring. I am truly blessed to find a good Filipino ❤️❤️❤️

[@marcvivori1561]

Just be careful. Watch Pea and heed her advice as well as your fellow expats. I married a Filipina and am very happy so I don’t have any sour grapes.

[@garyzies3486]

The more you help now, the more you're expected to help later! If they need help before you get married, expect a never-ending financial drain after marriage.

[@damuckster68x]

Another great video! Nothing wrong with helping others out, my big thing is I don't want to feel as if I'm being taken advantage of. Have a good trip!

[@christopherhill7131]

Definitely was very educational. I’ll definitely be checking out more videos.

[@johns5358]

wow just found your channel and i have to say you provide a good amount of great advice. Hope to hear or should i say watch more of you....THANKS

[@danelionheart5881]

If I was dating and or married I don't see a problem helping the Girl's side of the family as long as it is truly a need not a want. Some family's will and have taken advantage of the BF /Husband in all Cultures . I would make it clear then when I feel I am getting used I will stop helping and if they don't understand that I just stop the easy flow of cash. Here is a true story . I was with a girl and I was working most days a 16 hour shift . I had a lot of cars and trucks so on because I also use to Repo for car dealers and well dealers would often make me the offer to keep the car or they pay me for repoing it . The girl I was with had a sister that left her Husband for another Man . The girl I was with asked if I would give her sister a car because she had two daughters and needed to be able to bring them places and right now she has nothing. I gave her a all wheel drive car because at the time I lived where they got a lot of snow. I also paid for car insurance and for it to be legal on the roads. A week after she went back the the girl I was with and talked her into asking me for a different car because that car did not look as good as she would have liked and she wanted people to look at her better. I was not pleased but I gave her a different car and did the same thing for it to be on the roads.2 weeks later she came back this time said her Daughters didn't like the car because it looked like a granny Mobile and old ladies car . I was really upset and said listen I gave you two cars already . She said I know I am sorry . I said you look around pick the car you want and that will be it no more and you will put it on the road this is no longer going to come out of my pocket. She picked out a car and I told her that car is only big enough for 4 people and you will not have room if you go to buy food . I also told her the car was not the best in snow. I made it clear the car will need new tires . She said I want this one . I asked are you sure? She said yes. I asked are you 100 % sure she said yes. I said fine I did the paper work it was all hers now . 4 days later she was at my house with her two daughters but no car . I was tired worked a 16 hour shift all 4 days . I said hi and went to have a shower. The girl I was with said she needs a car I said what is wrong with the car she has. She lent the car to a friend and they crashed it. I went out and said you need a car and her sister said yeah I said sucks to be you and went in to shower. The girl I was with was so upset she said if I don't help her sister she is leaving. I said wait till I am done my shower I will help you pack you're bags .

[@happyguy7836]

This subject has been covered a great deal. The best solution I've heard is to give your Filipina a monthly allowance with room in it to help her family if she wants. Then make it clear to go through her if they need anything.

[@garyzies3486]

That concept may work in the short-term. If it works long-term then you can consider yourself the exception to the rule.

[@cyber4530]

I do the same, but everytime I send support it's tears and pressure for two days until the money is clutches from her hands. Then when she is poor again siblings have all ate it and mom got some cash allowance no more tears. These are the words from her not mine. She tells me everytime when I send money she has to get away from family it's so much pressure. I am bit lost for ideas how to manage it. Not wanting to cut and run as she is genuinely not a greedy person and has normal needs. But as soon as I provide for those needs the family swoop in. Eldest daughter no kids has a degree as do the siblings. But not much work where she is. Brother works still expects her to support as much as possible his wife and kid. And mom and dad are old so take a cash "donation" if money shows up. I told her I have no problem helping mom but until bro is working more hours than me I ain't interested in helping due to his self chosen easy lifestyle short hours low pay. He is had a good job but was far away and he didn't think with a degree he should start at the bottom and learn. So took a job in a local store.. So I ponder is the answer take her far away so she can have her own life (her request in those words) and provide some support to parents only, reasonable. I think

[@greywolf000]

Thanks for that perspective, enlightening.

[@lanctermann7261]

Very good, honest and down to earth. Thanks.

[@prescottosegie]

Thank you for sharing this angle I definitely glad that you explained it from a Filipino perspective keep up the great work pea 😎💪🏾 and safe travels ✈️🌎

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks Prescott! I assumed that you guys might wonder what happens when it’s a local guy 👍😊

[@spincube5734]

Providing yet another interesting parallax of Filipino cultural behavior for westerners to absorb & appreciate. Hope you have a productive & enjoyable trip.Thanx Pea !!

[@alfredopampanga9356]

Parallax is light that’s distorted

[@spincube5734]

@@alfredopampanga9356 It is also used to describe considering/thinking about something from a different perspective, a different point of view.

[@DavidVannder]

This is so true. Thank you Pea for putting this in to this perspective.

[@ChrisFrazierthecoach]

Another great video! Thank you so much!

[@khure711]

I think people in western cultures help their families a lot too, it’s just not talked about much. My parents helped my brother out his entire life. While I’ve helped my parents. I don’t give my parents money but I take care of them, my father 76 has Parkinson’s and my mother 65 has lung cancer, so I live with them and take care of them. I 36 was able to retire early from military service and railroad career and have a good passive income that is the national average in the US in earned income. So once my parents go to rest I plan on going abroad and Philippines is the top of my list. So yes some differences but also similarities. We are all humans and take care of our loved ones.

[@godfreyvonnordeck2056]

Another amazing video and yes you definitely answered alot of questions I’ve heard men who are married to Filipinas ask about. And I’ve talked to a few Filipinas online who send most of their money home to their parents, I’ve often asked them why doesn’t your brother, or sister send your parents money? The answer varies from they don’t have it, they won’t send it, they do help when they can. Here’s the issue a daughter the youngest of the family two older brothers she owns the house her parents live in so every thing something happens they go to her to pay for it, her one brother owns a store/restaurant thing in a market area they make quite a bit of money but seldom help the parents. Sometimes I think it’s an unfair system where mostly the girls are responsible to help the parents. The young lady in question is a friend of mine she would never ask me for anything and if I offered she always refused my help saying it’s her family and her bills. She has a big heart always helping friends and family sometimes loaning her friends money the she has saved. So I convinced her to invest her money in a couple of pigs and sell some of them when they get older and get one pregnant so she will have a good supply of pigs to keep selling. And she is now getting ready for her first piglets to be born in February so hopefully she will continue doing this and maybe she will get financially better. Thanks for your videos. Lots of great info here. Ohh sorry as far as the others I’ve spoken to let’s just say bad habits are hard to break and they were mostly just looking for someone to financially help them not interested in friendship just marriage and money. Have a great day ms pea thanks for your helpful videos ❤❤

[@talktimewitheddiej]

Wow Pea thx for dropping these nuggets, enjoy your trip.

[@RobMooreJR]

That was a really good video. 🤔Really explains so many things. Thanks!

[@richardhorton4664]

I am older and married and will probably never visit this country but I find this content extremely interesting, thks.

[@Crazykid949]

Pea: You really have a way of clearing the air about different cultures and how they can blend more peacefully. This video was an awesome idea to cover. So many people hear about how impoverished people use "love" to lure wealthier people in to make their family's life better, but are never given the behind the scenes reason of why, until now. The custom of marrying a person within your own personal class has really gone out the window here in the west shortly after the courts allowed women to take half of everything a man had, has, and will earn throughout his life in divorce court. Because of this it rockets women up the class scale only by her accumulated wealth from taking advantage of the men she gets into relationships with and the courts to legally separate men from their money. And yet these women who have taken advantage of these systems, still expect men to pay for everything. We don't even have a fair stake in the game of love here in the west. For many men helping out a Filipina's family is far less costly than losing half of everything you had, have, and will get until you die, so it's actually almost a bargain for the man to assist in a small way to his Filipina partner's family occasionally. But with the rising costs of inflation, and the lack of the cost of living increases to pensioners, it makes it tougher to help out. This is probably why many foreigners head out to the Provinces to find their partner, where the cost of living is much lower, and the people are grateful for even the slightest bit of assistance. It just helps the foreigner's wealth seem a whole lot bigger, because the money goes so much further. He can help a little and make more of a difference than his counterpart male Filipino can having a moderate to good income. Again I can't wait for your next video, it's always a pleasure watching your content Pea. On a side note, R.J. Sandefur and I were on my livestream last night talking about some of the things we love about your videos. Your last video with Doug, reminded me of a funny story about a former co-worker and friend of mine and I had. R.J. was in tears laughing.

[@andrewwoods8153]

Hi Pea, great video. I love these little chats. Looking back over almost 3 years experience and a month ongoing as friends, and all been well, my first trip in September/November. My first rule was never give with expectation of return, and my motivation was to uplift and create potential independence. I would never have proceeded had I not been confident , my beautiful lady was not a unique individual, and that our love , was established sincerely and genuinely. We both contributed to achieving her training and placement overseas. (Her 2nd time) . Fast forward, nobody should underestimate the price paid for working in a sub-standard country , or for that matter, the challenges of change and growth or escalation in doubt and stress. Regardless of whatever the ultimate outcome is , I celebrate the pure joy of being so privileged to have engaged in life with a beautiful, unique human being .

[@rona8663]

Very good video Pea. I totally get it now. Thanks.

[@ShimaS-0079]

I thought about this before. Thanks for sharing this information

[@TheFilipinaPea]

That’s great to hear, Shima! Hopefully this will explain what’s going on 👍👍😊

[@ShimaS-0079]

@@TheFilipinaPea Salamat Po

[@flinteedb]

Ive just got married to my wonderful filipino wife , i really love the loyalty to family they all have. they have made me feel so welcome , i asked her fathers blessing for our marriage which i believe is the respectful thing to do.

[@swayp5715]

Another great and useful one Pea.

[@boogiebackues8232]

Hi Pea. Thanks for sharing this content with us. Hope you have a safe trip.

[@TankTheSpank]

My flippina asked me to marry her when I only seen her once. Now her family is getting mad at me. Like you have no idea who the person is only until you debate them, but you cannot find out from one meetup.

[@hippityhoppitus]

Why are they mad at you?

[@TheFilipinaPea]

You sure can’t! Everyone’s on their best behavior 😳

[@kermitthefraud700]

@@hippityhoppitus My uncle told me stories of the fathers of women he met here, handing marriage papers over to him after meeting him for the first time. I'm lucky that never happened to me.

[@hippityhoppitus]

@@kermitthefraud700 What's your uncle's background? Is he white and well-off? I'm shocked at the marriage proposal from the dad lol

[@Rscottphillips]

@@hippityhoppitus yeah true, but who wants to be married to the Dad instead of his daughter?!

[@coreyg6660]

Miss Pea, Thank you for another great video on the understanding of Filipina culture. Yes I understand the caste system there really doesn't exist in the USA. In fact, many people are trying to come illegally to take advantage of our opportunities since upward mobility really depends on hard work and education here. I personally have been scammed before. I have learned from my mistake. Hopefully... 😆 But I do feel that a filipina will make a good wife for me since I am basically retired. My fiance is very devoted to me. Her family adores me and I respect and love them back. They have never asked me for money. Basically because they don't need it. All of them have good jobs and work hard. Including her parents'! I respect their motivation and drive to better themselves. But I have sent them Balikbayan boxes with gifts inside though. For instance we sent her mom a 10.1 inch tablet 📱 to stay in touch as the family is working through out the world last Christmas 🎅 Messenger is great for staying in touch with everyone right? 🤔 Anyway I hope you have a wonderful trip! Please take care and be safe God Bless 🙏

[@thereichscollector]

I pay tribute monthly willingly. My wife is loving and never demands. Plus I was blessed with an awesome mother in law!

[@BCBTrips]

Thanks f/ another enlightening and expertly produced cultural massage. Enjoy your trip

[@andrewc2670]

Hi Pea, this is certainly a topic that doesn't really get spoken about since the focus of most vloggers is foreigner & Filipina relationships. I'm not really surprised that the same rules apply to Filipino men as they do to foreign men, clearly the families still have the same needs regardless of who their children marry. I wonder though how often the situation arises where the children choose not to support their families and to focus their resources on themselves and their own children. I'd imagine that would be much more likely if they moved further away from either set of parents.

[@flicks28]

Unfortunately with todays technology, living on the other side of the world is just the same as living next door. Back before the internet, people could have a 1-2 month break from it all as they wait for the international letter of demands to arrive. i know this is common in many countries, but I have found the demands to be excessive within Filipinos. If you were to talk to many Mexicans who work in the US, generally you would find them sending $100-300 a month back home, some sending more than that. However, I think you would find the norm being asked from Filipinos back home to be around $600/mo all the way to the moon. It wouldnt surprise me if the avg of $1K/mo was being sent. I have commonly seen requests from Filipinos working abroad to buy cars buy houses, buy property, put all kids, nephews, cousins through college, finance all new business ideas, pay for the brothers birth of child, etc etc etc. Its laughable in many ways. I have deep-dived into many of the worlds cultures, but the farther I dive into Filipino culture the uglier it gets. Many SE Asia sociologists would agree.

[@davehood1514]

Interesting perspective 🤔

[@arnoldseay9118]

Great insight into Filipino culture. I wonder how many guys realize these things when they find a Filipina. I went through this for years but it was worth it. Please rub me the wrong way. Can’t wait for the next episode.

[@madgen2699]

I love the family I grew up in the mountains of East Tennessee we love our family we fight together stand up for each other. So the Philippines have the same family connection I think it’s great. I love my wife’s family they treat me great and I respect them 100%. 🙏

[@quantumangel33]

Very thorough and informative. You're a very wise woman. Thanks for the info.

[@michaelblack312]

I was married and now long divorced to a Mexican. The mexican culture is similar, however the "family help" is typically limited to the immediate family... parents, brothers, and sisters, and grandparents too. How far is the extended family obligation in the Philippines? I was talking with a girl from Sarangani, who is now a professional earning a decent paycheck in Cebu. She tells me each time she travels back home to her province that everyone, even the neighbors, expect her to bring gifts, and also expect/hope for financial help when needed....family and neighbors. This would make it hard to save up for your future retirement.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

That’s exactly what happens! Old classmates, people she barely even remembers will come out of the woodwork! But you’re not obligated to do any of that, and in fact you don’t have to support anyone at all - but you’ll feel pressure to 😳

[@chrislausen6639]

@@TheFilipinaPea that’s is a FACT!

[@tastymustard6234]

I've seen my Filipina's brother having to do ALOT of wooing to his girlfriend's family and they have been together for 10 years already. He got in trouble for proposing to his girlfriend while we were on vacation in Palawan without her parents presence there and he spent the next month doing favours for his girlfriend's mother until the mother wasn't upset with him anymore. If anything foreigners have it easy here 😅

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Local guys all know the deal, and they just … accept it. It never goes away 🥺

[@Dragon_rls]

Thank you Ms. Pea. Till next time.👍

[@craigthorn3190]

Wonderful presentation. Have a blessed and pleasant trip wherever you go!

[@rememberstayangry2366]

This definitely perpetrates a cycle where nothing ever changes. It places an extreme limit on upward movement. It really explains how an average or below average westerner can attract a pretty Filipina. A westerner might represent the only way to move upwards financially or socially. It also ties into why it is so dangerous to bring a Filipina to a country like the US. It removes her, partially, from the social and economic anchors she is used too. She becomes the hot commodity. Everyone around her is a step up from where she started. She now has a smorgasbord of options. You could write a whole research project on the subject.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Exactly! I think it perpetuates generational poverty 😳

[@bobbruce4135]

I've met many Fil-West couples and can say few knew (myself included) just how much indebtedness to the family the daughter has (due to conditional love rather than unconditional love). The sense of entitlement of the family to what the daughter (and her asawa) has can be limitless. This applies even to those with University degrees who are a little higher up the food chain. The only real solution is to never marry; and any petitions too. That's why live-in's are so rare as there's no ongoing repayments for life.

[@weskirkland5850]

I've seen people do this time and again. Never bring her here. She will become an entitled american woman. You have to be willing to move over there and stay with her there. That's your only chance. If she comes here she will leave you and take half your shit like any american woman.

[@cyber4530]

@@bobbruce4135 interesting point my lady is happy (wants) to do the live in and I already told her no marriage, as that's my head space at the moment. She just wants a child love and support which I am happy with don't most people. I don't expect her to go get a career yes she has a degree, I am happy for her to be mom and get what she needs. I also know she is trying to escape the clutches of family indebtedness she says it directly. Being the eldest daughter she gets a lot of pressure. All the kids have degrees and the youngest is about to start university. So mom made sure all are fully educated which is impressive based on what I see.

[@msemakweli133]

Thanks for your balanced and honest report, Pea. From an outsider's perspective, the following words stand out: caste, status, wealth/money. And you, correctly point out, that "hopefully, love is also involved." Sounds like a high red flag, right there. If money, wealth, status take the pole position, I don't know how else to look at this whole enterprise, than a systemic scam. I might be wrong, but these are objective eyes, looking in, from the outside.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

I think that in modern Filipino relationships, love and security are both required ingredients (unless family pressure puts too much emphasis on one instead of the other) 👍

[@antoniovega4978]

Great video, Pea. It's always a pleasure to watch and learn about the Philippine culture. I hope to visit the Philippines soon and I hope to meet you, to buy you a coffee. Thank you for all the great videos. Keep up the awesome videos, Pea 💕

[@mikehunt-co7hc]

love your channel. i am learning a lot. thank you ata pea

[@47boogieman67]

Yes I'm first. Now let's get on with this great show

[@TheFilipinaPea]

8th ain’t bad, Boogie 😊❤️👍

[@nigelincebu5733]

Nobody can be 100 %certain in marriage

[@TheFilipinaPea]

I’m never 100% certain about anything, nope 👍😊

[@fordfalcon85]

Thank you Pea. This video was very relevant for me. I enjoyed this one.

[@colenichols3580]

Some very eye-opening content. I hope that you have a fantastic trip

[@grizzmax]

Thank you for being so honest. We tend to always think the grass will be greener somewhere else. As a 66yo American I have watched my own country fall into decay and it starts with morality. I don't know if you're keeping up wih what's going on in America but for so long things have been on the decline here that by now it's in total free fall. I always remember what Buddha said: "Life Is An Illusion"

[@garyzies3486]

You must be living in a blue state.

[@kimkimpa5150]

The decline of the US is readily apparent to most foreigners... IF they don't listen to the mainstream media. According to western mainstream, the US is absolutely perfect now that a chiId-moIesting democrat is finally back in power again. Nevermind the fact that the world was a better, richer, and far more peaceful place during the Trump administration. The west is lost, and it's not coming back. It's every man for himself now.

[@MrLawrence7777]

I wouldn't have a problem with helping to support a Filipino's family, especially if it's the elders(mother, father, grandparents), but extended family members, I would have to place a limit to. Thanks 🙏🏾 for the information Pea. Shalom 🙏🏾 Fam ✊🏾🧔🏾👍🏾

[@gerrywilmering6909]

Thanks. Very informative. Thanks

[@dalemoss7877]

Really nice talk, I enjoyed it a lot. Low-key, earnest, serious, intimate, smooth! ❤

[@johnneff5487]

I love my Filipino family. I love my wife first with all my heart. I love her family and each person in a different way of course, but they all feel like my real family because they are. When I first met her three years ago, they all lived happily in a mud floor Shack with holes in the walls and ceiling. When it rained, the house was flooded up to two feet of water. Since then, we all together have built and almost completed our new home on the water.. Not in the water! We built it strong and typhoon proof. We have also together built her fisherman Papa the best wooden fishing boat with motor in her Village of Calubian, Leyte. We named the boat after our first son together. We are blessed oh, and I feel blessed the most to have such a wonderful family. They are the best gift God has ever given me... And He has given me many! Thank you Lord Jesus.

[@Yuppie.Mike.]

I'm fully aware of the system and I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to people other than my fiance needing me. No one needs me now. Women in the United States do not marry anyone without thinking about what they will get in the divorce. All of them contemplate what they will get when they get divorced, why would we want a woman like that. a Filipina will take care of us no matter what as long as we help her and her family. If you have an American wife and you get Alzheimer's you're going to be put in a nursing home. If you go to the Philippines you're going to have a loving wife And you will be in your home till the day you die. There's problems with every culture. I don't see why people are upset about having other people need them and need our help. I like to feel needed. It's only money. You help the family they automatically care about you also. You become a member of their family. 😎

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Oh you’ll feel needed alright 😳🤣👍

[@veritasforever9527]

Thank you for sharing this perspective.

[@k9companion231]

Great insight again Pea. Thank you for the education and sharing your wisdom. God bless

[@jmm3688]

Man I gotta good!! My Filipina almost never asked for money. I offer more than she does. Lol I love she takes care of the finances. We have a finance WhatsApp, she rights down every cent spent. I try to buy her expensive stuff occasionally, and she never wants anything expensive. Prefers not to eat in expensive restaurants. The class thing surprised me , I’ve never noticed that, I come from a country that is very classes. It’s actually disgusting!!! I’ve never ever noticed that here. Maybe I’m seeing everything with rose tinted glasses?? Because in general I love the Filipino culture. My wife comes from a fairly poor family. Maybe that’s why she is thrifty?? But she’s great!! I don’t feel used at all. She is a bonus in my life. I thank God for my Filipina.

[@SunRise-ul7ko]

I turned the tap off, when I was in Thailand many years ago. Guess what ? Your right, she didn't hang around. So when she told me she loved me, that was a lie.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

That’s a good litmus test 👍👍👍

[@bigdub4637]

Great vid FP.. Enjoy your trip whether its work or leisure ✌

[@scottd8938]

Good informative story, Pea. Thank you...

[@birdymaniac]

Conclusion stay single stay strong!!!

[@bobbruce4135]

Agree. But, the P4P is getting harder. Any tips? Several confirmed forever bachelors in Dumaguete have had to put a ring on it out of inability to get a live in partner. One even had a bachelor pick-up course but later on was crying he couldn't get a hot young lady that easily anymore. Apparently, the wise man's MO is to speak of marriage and babies and have a stealth vasectomy. But, there's too much competition now as western ladies are only going after the Chads (we would too if in their shoes).

[@Paladinbr]

Thanks for the insight Pea. I learned this listening to the Filipinos I worked with in the US Navy, which was seen as a high status job by their families back in the PI. On the subject of being stuck in loveless marriage, is there a current divorce bill for 2023? It seems like there is one pushed each year, and each year it gets closer to passing. Thanks.

[@subn0rma1]

Great video as always, pea. And, it's nice to see that your tennis ball tree is almost ready for harvest.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

HAHAHAHAHAHA Good one 🤣

[@ljw3491]

Lots of vloggers bring these things up but never explain and clarify the subjects like you do so thank you and I hope you have a great trip!